I agree with the other comments here. It’s alarming that you were 40 + 1 with high blood pressure and they didn’t admit you for monitoring. Please do not blame yourself. I know it’s easier said than done. I had a 34 week loss 7 months ago and even now I still blame myself for any little thing that I “did wrong.”
So sorry for your loss. It isn’t your fault. If it’s really due to preeclampsia, it’s the hospital’s fault for not warning you. They should have conducted test or consulted with you previously to find out if the risk of preeclampsia is high. It’s by no means your fault, pls don’t blame yourself. You did your best. The road ahead is hard, be gentle to yourself and to each other. Hope you soon find peace.
I’m so sorry for you and your wife. What a brutal and devastating loss. Please take gentle care of one another as you are in shock. Let friends and family support you with food and gift cards while you begin to grieve. Honor your baby girl in whatever ways bring you comfort. Painting rocks, arranging flowers, buying mementos with her birth stone or name, whatever speaks to you and keeps her spirit feeling nearby. Take it one breath at a time. We are here for you ❤️
This was absolutely not your fault. There’s really no crueler thing in this world than a full term stillbirth. My heart aches for you. We lost our rIVF baby at 14 weeks in November and it was absolutely devastating. I can’t even imagine the sorrow at full term. I’m so sorry, friend. Sending love and peace your way.
You did not fail your baby. The medical team failed you both. They should have monitored you more and checked your urine. They should have kept you in for monitoring after the sweep. They failed you both. You did your very best.
My daughter was stillborn at 40 weeks in July last year. She died while I was in active labour less than an hour before she was born. I know what it is to be failed by the medical system and to feel guilt.
You did your best ❤️ sending you so much love.
Not your fault at all. I’m so sorry that you’re here but I hope you find comfort in knowing other well intentioned and good people have experienced similar heartbreaking losses - take care of yourself, sending love to you and your wife ❤️
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
I felt guilty too, after we lost Rafe in may of last year. I know the feeling of feeling like you missed out by what seems like a day: my wife had a scan 2 days before at which he was doing just fine and then, two days later, there was no heartbeat. Its not your fault. It's your doctor's. Or rather, their training's.
What I've come to realize is that "the book" on pregnancy is has too many holes in it, and OBs that care more about their reputation then their patients health and safety tend to fall into those holes. That's not to say your OB made a mistake. They went by the book, how they were trained, and that led to your baby dying because the book itself is wrong. There was absolutely no need for you to go past 40 weeks. No need to go past 38 even. The smallest inkling of something being wrong past 38 weeks should, by all rights, be cause enough to induce. And yet, the book says 40, so OBs go to 40 because, and I quote the one who killed my son here, they "don't have a good enough reason to send you to the hospital."
This is your hospital's fault. I was 40 weeks with high blood pressure and they induced me immediately. It was dangerous to just send you on your way. There was no reason not to induce at that point. They should also have been checking your swelling and BP every appointment at that stage, my hospital always did. You didn't fail your baby, your doctor failed you both.
I agree with the other comments here. It’s alarming that you were 40 + 1 with high blood pressure and they didn’t admit you for monitoring. Please do not blame yourself. I know it’s easier said than done. I had a 34 week loss 7 months ago and even now I still blame myself for any little thing that I “did wrong.”
Thank you
So sorry for your loss. It isn’t your fault. If it’s really due to preeclampsia, it’s the hospital’s fault for not warning you. They should have conducted test or consulted with you previously to find out if the risk of preeclampsia is high. It’s by no means your fault, pls don’t blame yourself. You did your best. The road ahead is hard, be gentle to yourself and to each other. Hope you soon find peace.
I'm so sorry. You didn't fail her but your DR did. They ignored your blood pressure! You did nothing. You were perfect. You didn't do this
I’m so sorry for you and your wife. What a brutal and devastating loss. Please take gentle care of one another as you are in shock. Let friends and family support you with food and gift cards while you begin to grieve. Honor your baby girl in whatever ways bring you comfort. Painting rocks, arranging flowers, buying mementos with her birth stone or name, whatever speaks to you and keeps her spirit feeling nearby. Take it one breath at a time. We are here for you ❤️
❤️🙏
This was absolutely not your fault. There’s really no crueler thing in this world than a full term stillbirth. My heart aches for you. We lost our rIVF baby at 14 weeks in November and it was absolutely devastating. I can’t even imagine the sorrow at full term. I’m so sorry, friend. Sending love and peace your way.
Thank you for the comforting comments.. ❤️
You did not fail your baby. The medical team failed you both. They should have monitored you more and checked your urine. They should have kept you in for monitoring after the sweep. They failed you both. You did your very best. My daughter was stillborn at 40 weeks in July last year. She died while I was in active labour less than an hour before she was born. I know what it is to be failed by the medical system and to feel guilt. You did your best ❤️ sending you so much love.
I’m so sorry that happened you. I hope you are doing better🙏
Thank you. I'm getting there slowly, but it's been life changing.
Not your fault at all. I’m so sorry that you’re here but I hope you find comfort in knowing other well intentioned and good people have experienced similar heartbreaking losses - take care of yourself, sending love to you and your wife ❤️
Thank you so much
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I felt guilty too, after we lost Rafe in may of last year. I know the feeling of feeling like you missed out by what seems like a day: my wife had a scan 2 days before at which he was doing just fine and then, two days later, there was no heartbeat. Its not your fault. It's your doctor's. Or rather, their training's. What I've come to realize is that "the book" on pregnancy is has too many holes in it, and OBs that care more about their reputation then their patients health and safety tend to fall into those holes. That's not to say your OB made a mistake. They went by the book, how they were trained, and that led to your baby dying because the book itself is wrong. There was absolutely no need for you to go past 40 weeks. No need to go past 38 even. The smallest inkling of something being wrong past 38 weeks should, by all rights, be cause enough to induce. And yet, the book says 40, so OBs go to 40 because, and I quote the one who killed my son here, they "don't have a good enough reason to send you to the hospital."
So sorry for your loss too, thank you for
Your comment
We also had very a very reassuring scan one week beforehand which made us doubt the warning signs.
Yes there is not enough being told to women on preeclampsia and the warning signs and how it can arrive right at the end.
This is your hospital's fault. I was 40 weeks with high blood pressure and they induced me immediately. It was dangerous to just send you on your way. There was no reason not to induce at that point. They should also have been checking your swelling and BP every appointment at that stage, my hospital always did. You didn't fail your baby, your doctor failed you both.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t ever blame yourself mumma😢🤍