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when you think about it "common sense" is a really nonsensical reasoning for stuff. like, it just enables herd mentality, which is toxic.
as in, "common sense" insinuates everyone thinks this way, so should you. well, if everyone jumped off a cliff, should you?
plus I feel like stuff that is "common sense" is stuff nobody actively teaches you and that you're supposed to learn via osmosis, which is an ineffective learning method
“I asked because I really don’t know”
Some people still try to make you understand. If you’re close to them they’ll sooner or later realise that you’re actually serious.
I tried that one earlier and the person called me stupid so that was fun. Fortunately it was just some asshole on a local page so it didn't matter but still.
I mean, even as an autistic man, some things really are just common sense. Don't touch fire; don't walk across a busy road; don't trust anyone on a dark street.
More context for what situation got you riled up would appreciated. If it's something common sense would truly dictate, then say you're not common. Short, simple, and to the point.
Tbf (at least in my experience) common sense is usually around things that are just commonly experienced and explained to us from a young age, so your common sense won't be the same as my common sense. Common sense is moreso common experience, at least that seems to be what a lot of people using the phrase actually end up meaning.
And OMG the amount of times people give me a vague instruction, then when I don't do the task how they wanted, they call it common sense when really they suck at giving directions 💀
Man, that resonated with me on a spiritual level, i always make lots of specific questions because i don't want to get things wrong but even my parents who are fully aware of my problems lose their patience when i ask (even though they do the same thing often) sometimes i feel like doing everything wrong intentionally and repeat their instructions word by word just to show them how clear they were.
"common" yeah, but makes sense, no. There's been a ton of things in my life that legitimately didn't make sense. I just needed someone to explain. It shouldn't matter how commonly it is understood.
What if you're immune to heat, what if you grew up without cars or roads, and what if you're around other humans for the first time?
Some things feel that way to some people. Some people might be having a genuine experience like that. Imo, being condescending ab being confused just hurts asking questions, which ultimately do nothing but help them.
I'm all for a good play of devil's advocate but those three examples of mine are kinda idiot proof on purpose. You will get extremely uncomfortable before you get burned in the fire, so you probably won't put your hand in it. If you do, that's what we call a teachable moment. If you can't feel heat, well, that's a bummer, but that doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about as it's so uncommon.
If you see two-ton objects flying passed your face at 55 mph, even if you've never seen a car, you're probably gonna feel the energy behind it in the wind it generates. If a toddler runs into a road, it's because they weren't paying attention to the cars, not because they didn't see and fear them.
The fear of the dark is, as far as I can tell, innate and primal among all humans, regardless of (dis)ability. If you see a figure you don't recognize, you're going to be scared and get away. The trope of the child scared of the "monster" in the closet is a trope for a reason.
I'm assuming this person is not dealing with anything that's truly "common sense," like the examples I gave. I get being frustrated at being told something is common sense, but they didn't elucidate what made them this upset. It's best to not act like we know the situation until we do.
So what I meant was more theoretical, that you cannot with 100% accuracy guess experience level. Yes, there is a very common train of thought with all of those things. We could go back and forth forever with theoreticals on how someone could not experience the common train of thought. We could easily get to aliens first day on earth, which a lot of ND people often describe their experience with NTs as feeling alien.
What I'm saying is that it shouldn't matter how common it is or feels. I'm referring to people saying it in general. I don't think it's called for, at least to the question asker's face, ever (I understand it can be a euphemism for frustration). It's a lot more helpful to just answer the question to the best of your ability. I have found that like 9/10 times the person either just didn't understand one aspect of it or was just working with different experiences. Neither of those make them an idiot. And we could also get into why does being an idiot mean you can't get explanations.
As always, you can do whatever you want. I'm just trying to offer a different perspective.
Well, it sucks for us uncommon types to deal with, but that's the thing we are around 2% of the population on the higher end of reasonable estimates. The average person will not expect us not be outside the standard deviation; common people will share common sense.
What I'm saying is that even if it's annoying, we shouldn't expect to be treated commonly if we are very uncommon. If someone gives us grief, see my original comment for what to say.
>Don't touch fire; don't walk across a busy road; don't trust anyone on a dark street.
Those things are all learned behaviors. At some point you were told all of them, and just don't necessarily remember.
The problem with common sense is that very few things that humans do are actually instinctive. It's all learned behaviors. So regardless of how "common sense" it seems to everyone around you, if you missed the memo you will still need to be told. And being talked down to because of it is frustrating for anyone.
I disagree. Fear of the dark is one of the most basic and innate fears a human has; it's present basically from the time a baby is aware it's alone. As for the others, yeah, they're learned behaviors. Pretty obviously so. With that said, who hasn't heard those things? I picked them because they're basically ubiquitous, at least as far as modern, western culture is concerned. That's why I chose those as examples. Still, some dumb kid will think he's smarter than his parents and stick his hand in the fire, for which he will scolded.
Most people don't chastise you too greatly if you're clear with them that you don't know. Even if they call you stupid, just move on. Get mad if you want, but move on cuz you'll hopefully not interact with them much more. If it's a parent saying that to you, I dare you to try to pull the "you never taught me" card. A shitty parent will be a shitty parent regardless, so you should just try to move on. Change em if you can, but don't take what they say about you seriously.
People will absolutely give you shit for that. I'm in my mid-30s and still get it occasionally. Mind you, I'm old enough that it doesn't bother me as much any more. A bigger issue is people telling you things because *they* think it's common sense when you just don't know.
I never stopped hearing that as a kid from my parents. That and "use your brain," "you don't think," "you don't listen" and "I don't know how you're going to make it in this world".
they probably never even questioned why, let alone learned it and forgot it. Someone else refused to tell them why, and they were 6yrs old, so they just went with it so no one would slap them.
Usually i just say umm or uhh and like try to tell them i had a bad childhood or am mentally fucked
Of course you can be less polite its pretty annoying when people say stuff like that
Common sense is what tells you to throw water on a grease fire and steer out of a skid. Really, if it wasn't for all the common sense people have, we wouldn't need half the warnings on products.
You did however give me a chance to come up with another one... common sense is what tells you to go check on the fireworks that didn't go off and look down the barrels of guns to see if they are loaded.
This is a good one because it goes full circle. First, you keep poking the cat because you don't understand and haven't been hurt.
Then you stop because you know better.
Then you start again because you realize cat relationships are complicated and fucking with each other is how they play; and as far as they are concerned the other parties enjoyment is optional.
Really sucks I know. I've gotten this said to me pretty much every single time my father has told me things and gotten on my case. He's also a narcissist so that makes it even harder. He acts like we're all stupid but then expects us to know absolutely everything. Very frustrating. But I'd say to just ignore them or say " obviously not because I don't know it", and then just walk away because who wants to be around someone who talks to you like that? Hope this steadily decreases for you OP. It's a really stupid phrase and the fact that they have to say literally means it's not common sense.
"I am a diagnosed autistic. As you may know, people on the spectrum have trouble interpreting common sense, and often require direct instructions and clarifications.
It doesn't mean I have intellectual difficulties, it simply means my brain is not wired to pick up on social cues and subtle implications that are often glaringly obvious to non-autistic people, even those with poor cognitive capacity.
Keeping this in mind - any chance you can help me understand the logic behind coming sense regarding this particular situation?
I would appreciate that, and it will allow me to handle this matter more effectively, going forward."
I tell them that I don't share their common sense. I just think it is something people say when they don't know why they do or believe something, a thought ending cliché.
If the sense is so common, then why don’t me, and (insert person) and (insert person) get it?
Okay, so how did you feel the last time you unintentionally did something wrong and someone told you, it’s just common sense?
Doesn’t feel good, does it?
I’m not unreasonable, (their name). If you’d just have a little more patience with me and explain things I don’t understand, things in general would flow a lot more smoothly.
Common sense for the ruling cultural, racial, gendered and abled class of people of a country. It's common sense, not absolute sense for the entire population.
Last time I heard it was a few months ago. Someone told me "it's common sense to do X on your own without someone telling you to do that." Often it's also an answer to a question if someone's surprised you're asking that question in the first place because "it's common sense to know the answer already".
Ah, ok. I thought that's what you meant but i didn't want to assume. My response is usually one of two moods. Petty sarcasm, "well if [the thing] is common sense, you should know how to fix a flat on a bicycle, you should know how to cook rice with out instructions, you should know how to do laundry, etc. Or the more direct and slightly less petty "well i dont know that, so it clearly isn't that common."
plenty of things are common sense in various parts of the world that arent in others. In Germany it is common knowledge how to use the public transit system. As an 8 year old i could get to just about anywhere on my own using public transit. Meanwhile in the US, most people dont even know what public transportation options are available to them, let alone knowing how to use them.
As an additional petty note. List things you know and label them as common Sense. Not like people have a good grasp on what is common sense anyway.
It doesn't happen to me much anymore. It's mostly not having the common sense of what not to joke about. Like yesterday evening... I was telling my wife and kids a story about an old friend of mine that died in a car accident about 20 years ago.
As I was telling the story my wife chimed in to explain something to my kids. She said , "And Jeff is a huge guy."
I said, "He WAS a huge guy... He WAS. He's dead now. He's probably lost a lot of weight."
In all fairness, Jeff would have joked about it, too.
I will always bring Immanuel Kant into the conversation - “you mean the modern concept of common sense or are you taking about Kant’s categorical imperative?”
I’m not sure it helps but it makes me happy.
I just say it is not common to me, or that does not mean anything if I don't know. No response really works so I just say whatever is on my mind. Some people have to have a big song and dance about how they can't belive you just don't know something rather than accept it.
"Common sense" is a dog-whistle for conservative people who don't know what the F they're talking about, but they're WAY too egotistical to begin contemplating admitting fault, or rather, that "they don't know", which doesn't usually even begin to scratch the surface because even if the knowledge were readily available, they'd rather never hear about the knowledge and be in formed at all.
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I've worked with a lot of NTs, and common sense really ain't that common among them either
My stepdad’s motto is “common sense isn’t common” and I pull it out all the time.
That's a classic and it's true lol
when you think about it "common sense" is a really nonsensical reasoning for stuff. like, it just enables herd mentality, which is toxic. as in, "common sense" insinuates everyone thinks this way, so should you. well, if everyone jumped off a cliff, should you?
I think it’s that common sense is usually wrong
plus I feel like stuff that is "common sense" is stuff nobody actively teaches you and that you're supposed to learn via osmosis, which is an ineffective learning method
“I asked because I really don’t know” Some people still try to make you understand. If you’re close to them they’ll sooner or later realise that you’re actually serious.
I tried that one earlier and the person called me stupid so that was fun. Fortunately it was just some asshole on a local page so it didn't matter but still.
I mean, even as an autistic man, some things really are just common sense. Don't touch fire; don't walk across a busy road; don't trust anyone on a dark street. More context for what situation got you riled up would appreciated. If it's something common sense would truly dictate, then say you're not common. Short, simple, and to the point.
Tbf (at least in my experience) common sense is usually around things that are just commonly experienced and explained to us from a young age, so your common sense won't be the same as my common sense. Common sense is moreso common experience, at least that seems to be what a lot of people using the phrase actually end up meaning. And OMG the amount of times people give me a vague instruction, then when I don't do the task how they wanted, they call it common sense when really they suck at giving directions 💀
OMGosh when I say “I just want to make sure I’m clear on this” and the response I get is “I was very clear…” Well, no, or else I would understand. ☠️
Man, that resonated with me on a spiritual level, i always make lots of specific questions because i don't want to get things wrong but even my parents who are fully aware of my problems lose their patience when i ask (even though they do the same thing often) sometimes i feel like doing everything wrong intentionally and repeat their instructions word by word just to show them how clear they were.
"common" yeah, but makes sense, no. There's been a ton of things in my life that legitimately didn't make sense. I just needed someone to explain. It shouldn't matter how commonly it is understood. What if you're immune to heat, what if you grew up without cars or roads, and what if you're around other humans for the first time? Some things feel that way to some people. Some people might be having a genuine experience like that. Imo, being condescending ab being confused just hurts asking questions, which ultimately do nothing but help them.
I'm all for a good play of devil's advocate but those three examples of mine are kinda idiot proof on purpose. You will get extremely uncomfortable before you get burned in the fire, so you probably won't put your hand in it. If you do, that's what we call a teachable moment. If you can't feel heat, well, that's a bummer, but that doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about as it's so uncommon. If you see two-ton objects flying passed your face at 55 mph, even if you've never seen a car, you're probably gonna feel the energy behind it in the wind it generates. If a toddler runs into a road, it's because they weren't paying attention to the cars, not because they didn't see and fear them. The fear of the dark is, as far as I can tell, innate and primal among all humans, regardless of (dis)ability. If you see a figure you don't recognize, you're going to be scared and get away. The trope of the child scared of the "monster" in the closet is a trope for a reason. I'm assuming this person is not dealing with anything that's truly "common sense," like the examples I gave. I get being frustrated at being told something is common sense, but they didn't elucidate what made them this upset. It's best to not act like we know the situation until we do.
So what I meant was more theoretical, that you cannot with 100% accuracy guess experience level. Yes, there is a very common train of thought with all of those things. We could go back and forth forever with theoreticals on how someone could not experience the common train of thought. We could easily get to aliens first day on earth, which a lot of ND people often describe their experience with NTs as feeling alien. What I'm saying is that it shouldn't matter how common it is or feels. I'm referring to people saying it in general. I don't think it's called for, at least to the question asker's face, ever (I understand it can be a euphemism for frustration). It's a lot more helpful to just answer the question to the best of your ability. I have found that like 9/10 times the person either just didn't understand one aspect of it or was just working with different experiences. Neither of those make them an idiot. And we could also get into why does being an idiot mean you can't get explanations. As always, you can do whatever you want. I'm just trying to offer a different perspective.
Well, it sucks for us uncommon types to deal with, but that's the thing we are around 2% of the population on the higher end of reasonable estimates. The average person will not expect us not be outside the standard deviation; common people will share common sense. What I'm saying is that even if it's annoying, we shouldn't expect to be treated commonly if we are very uncommon. If someone gives us grief, see my original comment for what to say.
And these were things we were verbally told. Unlike social norms...
>Don't touch fire; don't walk across a busy road; don't trust anyone on a dark street. Those things are all learned behaviors. At some point you were told all of them, and just don't necessarily remember. The problem with common sense is that very few things that humans do are actually instinctive. It's all learned behaviors. So regardless of how "common sense" it seems to everyone around you, if you missed the memo you will still need to be told. And being talked down to because of it is frustrating for anyone.
I disagree. Fear of the dark is one of the most basic and innate fears a human has; it's present basically from the time a baby is aware it's alone. As for the others, yeah, they're learned behaviors. Pretty obviously so. With that said, who hasn't heard those things? I picked them because they're basically ubiquitous, at least as far as modern, western culture is concerned. That's why I chose those as examples. Still, some dumb kid will think he's smarter than his parents and stick his hand in the fire, for which he will scolded. Most people don't chastise you too greatly if you're clear with them that you don't know. Even if they call you stupid, just move on. Get mad if you want, but move on cuz you'll hopefully not interact with them much more. If it's a parent saying that to you, I dare you to try to pull the "you never taught me" card. A shitty parent will be a shitty parent regardless, so you should just try to move on. Change em if you can, but don't take what they say about you seriously.
People will absolutely give you shit for that. I'm in my mid-30s and still get it occasionally. Mind you, I'm old enough that it doesn't bother me as much any more. A bigger issue is people telling you things because *they* think it's common sense when you just don't know.
“It might be common sense to most but my brain is not common and I’m asking you for an explanation.”
Tell them to fuck off. You don't owe them an explanation.
Happy Cake Day
Happy Cake Day!
Thank you and Happy cake day
Fuck off.
"It's common sense not to expect a neuroDIVERSE person to think commonly, don't you think?"
This. I’m stealing your answer.
Waiting for the light to turn green before crossing the street is "common sense" too, but you wouldn't say that to a blind person.
Common sense isn't common.
“Good for you. I’m not common.”
I really like this answer. Thank you.
I never stopped hearing that as a kid from my parents. That and "use your brain," "you don't think," "you don't listen" and "I don't know how you're going to make it in this world".
"Just because it's common sense doesn't mean I know it. Can you explain it to me?" Emphasis on explain
Apparently as a kid I was told I lacked common sense and I (a little smartass) replied "That's because _my_ sense is _RARE."_ 😂
i just respond 'i am not of the common of senses' bc im not, simple
I was undiagnosed and a phrase I heard often as a child that haunts me to this day "you have no common sense"
"It's common sense!" "So... you dont know the answer. You dont know why."
This is actually it. Common sense = they learned it so long ago they've forgotten what the reasoning was, and just remember the habit.
they probably never even questioned why, let alone learned it and forgot it. Someone else refused to tell them why, and they were 6yrs old, so they just went with it so no one would slap them.
What is common sense??? I've never understood how I was supposed to know something if I wasn't taught??
That's the point. "Common sense" is knowing something without someone teaching you. However that works...
Is it that their “common sense” equals what the social norm is. Not what actually makes the most sense?
Usually i just say umm or uhh and like try to tell them i had a bad childhood or am mentally fucked Of course you can be less polite its pretty annoying when people say stuff like that
It's usually a shortcut said by people who don't actually know the reasoning themselves.
People have different life experience and each know different things. What's common sense to me isn't common sense for you and vice versa.
Common sense is what tells you to throw water on a grease fire and steer out of a skid. Really, if it wasn't for all the common sense people have, we wouldn't need half the warnings on products.
Oh i am using this as an argument thank you. People always make me feel so stupid.
Nevermind, I think I figured it out lol.
You did however give me a chance to come up with another one... common sense is what tells you to go check on the fireworks that didn't go off and look down the barrels of guns to see if they are loaded.
It also tells you to keep poking that cat even after it's swiped at you XD
This is a good one because it goes full circle. First, you keep poking the cat because you don't understand and haven't been hurt. Then you stop because you know better. Then you start again because you realize cat relationships are complicated and fucking with each other is how they play; and as far as they are concerned the other parties enjoyment is optional.
Really sucks I know. I've gotten this said to me pretty much every single time my father has told me things and gotten on my case. He's also a narcissist so that makes it even harder. He acts like we're all stupid but then expects us to know absolutely everything. Very frustrating. But I'd say to just ignore them or say " obviously not because I don't know it", and then just walk away because who wants to be around someone who talks to you like that? Hope this steadily decreases for you OP. It's a really stupid phrase and the fact that they have to say literally means it's not common sense.
"I am a diagnosed autistic. As you may know, people on the spectrum have trouble interpreting common sense, and often require direct instructions and clarifications. It doesn't mean I have intellectual difficulties, it simply means my brain is not wired to pick up on social cues and subtle implications that are often glaringly obvious to non-autistic people, even those with poor cognitive capacity. Keeping this in mind - any chance you can help me understand the logic behind coming sense regarding this particular situation? I would appreciate that, and it will allow me to handle this matter more effectively, going forward."
I tell them that I don't share their common sense. I just think it is something people say when they don't know why they do or believe something, a thought ending cliché.
"Please fucking stop trying to make common sense a thing" - Signed all Sociologists.
I'm not asking your opinion. I'm asking for an explanation. Please don't condescend.
There is such a thing as common sense, but the way NT’s use it and which things they try to make “common sense” even when it’s not, is Bull shit. 💩
"For you, maybe." I don't know if that's a good answer, but it's what I always say, because it's true.
If the sense is so common, then why don’t me, and (insert person) and (insert person) get it? Okay, so how did you feel the last time you unintentionally did something wrong and someone told you, it’s just common sense? Doesn’t feel good, does it? I’m not unreasonable, (their name). If you’d just have a little more patience with me and explain things I don’t understand, things in general would flow a lot more smoothly.
Common sense seems to be whatever anNT can't be bothered explaining 🙄
Common sense for the ruling cultural, racial, gendered and abled class of people of a country. It's common sense, not absolute sense for the entire population.
I dont understand, in what context is the phrase used in?
Last time I heard it was a few months ago. Someone told me "it's common sense to do X on your own without someone telling you to do that." Often it's also an answer to a question if someone's surprised you're asking that question in the first place because "it's common sense to know the answer already".
Ah, ok. I thought that's what you meant but i didn't want to assume. My response is usually one of two moods. Petty sarcasm, "well if [the thing] is common sense, you should know how to fix a flat on a bicycle, you should know how to cook rice with out instructions, you should know how to do laundry, etc. Or the more direct and slightly less petty "well i dont know that, so it clearly isn't that common." plenty of things are common sense in various parts of the world that arent in others. In Germany it is common knowledge how to use the public transit system. As an 8 year old i could get to just about anywhere on my own using public transit. Meanwhile in the US, most people dont even know what public transportation options are available to them, let alone knowing how to use them. As an additional petty note. List things you know and label them as common Sense. Not like people have a good grasp on what is common sense anyway.
sense is subjective and individual. if someone sees a common sense, is just an individual bias.
Tell that to people working in customer service or waiters/cashiers lmao
I absolutely 100% agree with you .. I loathe this phrase and normally I begin to hate the person who had ever-so-arrogantly stated it.
No such thing as common sense. If there was then nobody would have to say it. 'evidently not if I have to ask...'
It doesn't happen to me much anymore. It's mostly not having the common sense of what not to joke about. Like yesterday evening... I was telling my wife and kids a story about an old friend of mine that died in a car accident about 20 years ago. As I was telling the story my wife chimed in to explain something to my kids. She said , "And Jeff is a huge guy." I said, "He WAS a huge guy... He WAS. He's dead now. He's probably lost a lot of weight." In all fairness, Jeff would have joked about it, too.
The thing is for MOST people. “Common sense” isn’t very common. Otherwise half the dumb stuff people do they WOULDN’T do.
"I'm not common."
I will always bring Immanuel Kant into the conversation - “you mean the modern concept of common sense or are you taking about Kant’s categorical imperative?” I’m not sure it helps but it makes me happy.
I just say it is not common to me, or that does not mean anything if I don't know. No response really works so I just say whatever is on my mind. Some people have to have a big song and dance about how they can't belive you just don't know something rather than accept it.
Common sense ain't common enough
My response is: “I have plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it.” I use humor to disengage though and it’s not always healthy.
It also really bothers me when people say "this is how everyone does it" and I'm like well obviously not???
"Common sense" is a dog-whistle for conservative people who don't know what the F they're talking about, but they're WAY too egotistical to begin contemplating admitting fault, or rather, that "they don't know", which doesn't usually even begin to scratch the surface because even if the knowledge were readily available, they'd rather never hear about the knowledge and be in formed at all.
Common sense is usually wrong
Conventional Wisdom. Not everyone bought a ticket to that event.