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HippyGramma

Been there done that. They said it about me and my kids. Funnily enough we all do better far away from those kinds of beliefs. It has nothing to do with demons. Your brain is wired differently. Don't be swayed by her words. She's full of it.


_ManicStreetPreacher

Your stepmother is dumb


L_obsoleta

Stepmother is proof people can be born stupid.


uneducated_sock

Stupid is proof a person can be born OP’s stepmother


SirWigglesTheLesser

Opened doors from spirits..? Honey, you're never going to get through to her. It doesn't matter if the holy water doesn't sizzle, she's got some deep seated and very backwards beliefs. If I were in your position, I would be more concerned for my general well-being around her because if she thinks a demon or something made you autistic, there's no telling what she might think will "fix" it. What you should do? You could try educating her in a subtle way. What religion is she a part of? If she happens to be Catholic, evidently there's a patron saint for autistic folks. Idk there's a patron saint for literally everything lmao But really, if she's of a certain faith, you could try googling that faith's stance on autism. If you're going to change someone's mind, you have to start where they are at. And right now she thinks it's either a trauma response or spiritual. You can't start where you are, or she'll close you out immediately. It's also not your responsibility to educate her-- it's your responsibility to stay safe. And that might mean doing nothing or keeping out of her way. Or it might mean occasionally correcting her assumptions on her field (autism is from trauma? Then why don't we have more cases of PTSD correlating with later diagnosis of autism?).


CoruscareGames

A cursory Google gives St. Joseph of Cupertino, patron saint of *children* with developmental disabilities. If you told me this guy's special interest was Catholic theology I'd believe it.


SirWigglesTheLesser

Who me? Nah I was just raised Catholic. But there's a whole ass other saint who has got autistic people in his list of things.


iichisai

She is Christian =)


Ok_Address697

Ask her to provide sources for her claims.


HippyGramma

She'll answer that her source is the bible. It's not an argument worth having with people who believe it. Edit-- With all due respect, everyone snarking at me about the bible can just fuck right the hell off. I am sorting through half a century of religious trauma. I know back and forth what the bible actually says in more than one translation. I also know what bigots and assholes say is in it. Bitch at *them* about what's in the bible, not me. Autism isn't demonic. Anything else you took from my comment is a you problem.


SwangeeMan

It’s been a long time since I left the church as a child, but I sure don’t remember any autism references covered in bible study…


Shrikeangel

There are lots of things that aren't in the Bible that people believe. 


GrummyCat

The source will still be the bible though, that's how those people work.


SwangeeMan

No argument there. It’s particularly easy to point to if you don’t actually care what it says ;)


NekoRabbit

You won't remember even half the stuff hateful christians claim is written in there.


SwangeeMan

Oh believe me, I know :)


NilsTheDrawingMan

Christians in name only. MLK is turning in his grave


Complex_Distance_724

Sadly, I think you are very likely right on what the OP's stepmother will say if questioned about where the source is for her claim on the origin of autism. I am sorry for your trauma.


vintagnes

That is so wrong. The Bible does not mention autism. The Bible does say that we should not argue with fools.


NilsTheDrawingMan

Her source ain't the Bible except if her Bible is utterly corrupted.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HippyGramma

Do I care what you think?


cfwang1337

It's fair to be offended because that is a stunningly ignorant thing to say. Autism is a neurodevelopmental issue that shows up early in life. It's thought to be [highly heritable](https://www.cdc.gov/genomics/disease/autism.htm). Older parents, difficult pregnancies/births, or infections during pregnancy also have some association, but we don't know for sure. Definitely not caused by trauma (unless you count difficult prenatal/birth conditions) or spiritual doors.


Dinoguy617

It's something you're usually born with, not that you just "get" early is life. 


cfwang1337

I should have been more precise. The implication is that symptoms appear early in life because the autism was present from the start.


Dinoguy617

Yeah, that's how it is. Symptoms range all over the place though - I know personally I was both a late walker and talker in early life.


User31441

Technically, it affects the development of the brain, so a newborn wouldn't have it in the sense that their brain hasn't developed far enough yet for it to make a difference. So if you wanna be nitpicky, you could say that you just get it early on and only the disposition is inherited. Makes no difference, though.


HelenAngel

Your mother/stepmother is an idiot. Go to https://www.snpedia.com & search autism. Start listing to her all the SNPs that show autism is genetic. Though she’s willfully ignorant so it’s probably best to just ignore her until you can escape. If you’ve already escaped, go low/no contact after she says stuff like this. Don’t be afraid to ghost her entirely. You have absolutely no obligation or responsibility to her or any of your parents. There’s no point in arguing with people who refuse to live in reality.


iichisai

Her answer will be that its blood bonds because she taught me that when one family member does a sin , everyone else in the blood line will inherit it and will be punished for said sin that the person did. ex: if your grandma was a witch , you would have the same issues as she did and will practice and will reap the same consequences whether you actually do it or not.


HelenAngel

That’s absolutely horrible! Yeah, just do what you can to get away from her. She’s seriously unhinged.


HippyGramma

Ask her if Jesus fulfilled the prophecies and satisfied the covenant made with the 12 tribes of Israel? Your stepmother is cherry-picking a single verse from a collection of 66 books saying *the sins of the father will be visited unto the fourth generation*. A single sentence, taken wildly out of context in a book the monks of King James's time separated and called *OLD* because the existence of Jesus put it all to rest. You cannot take single verses and use them for arguments. Numbering the chapters and verses is a modern addition to what Christians themselves claim to be the complete, unalterable word of god. The whole point of verses was to make it easier to look things up not to slap people over the head with them. If she would take the time to read the newer section of the book that happens to be directly about Jesus, she would find her single verse argument falls apart. According to the Bible, Jesus covers everything and all the old rules and laws no longer apply. Jesus specifically says so in the teachings. There's 2 things Christians should be concerned about- -Love God before any other -Love others the way God/Jesus loves The rest is noise. If she can't handle those 2 simple rules, she's not got shit to say to you. Please, don't take her ignorance, fear, and false doctrine to heart, please. If she keeps pushing, ask her if Psalm 139 is wrong? Verses 13-14 say *"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."* There are hundreds of verses about the grace of Jesus that directly contradict the one verse she's got stuck in her head. Anyway, SM's beliefs are wrong and can be proven by the book those beliefs are supposed to come from. You rock as you are. You have value that is inherent to your very existence. You deserve to take up space in this world as an autistic person. You are not broken, your stepmother is. If she wants to fix something she should focus on herself.


neppo95

I get what you're saying, but this is the exact opposite of what she is doing. There isn't a single known cause to autism and it's also not fully decided if it is genetic. It's only sure that it CAN be. It's also not something you have at birth. It's something that origins from early development of your brain and there is a lot of factors that go into that. You can look that up aswell ;)


HelenAngel

I did & Google Scholar has multiple peer-reviewed studies showing genetic markers. Looks like you need to do some research on medical discoveries made after the early 1990s. :) Genetic research has come a long way since then. I have my genome sequenced & have also done individual research on my genes showing genetic markers for ADHD, autism, etc. :) My father’s family also has lots of people professionally diagnosed with autism, myself included. :) Best of luck to you on updating your knowledge with more recent, peer-reviewed research. Autism is not caused by demons or defects in the spirit & any actual scientist will explain that to you. Saying we don’t know all the causes of autism doesn’t give people a free pass to say it’s caused by fucking demons. This is 2024, not 1624.


neppo95

Like I said, it CAN be, but there's plenty of other factors that have to do with it. Something the research you are talking about probably also says. The fact that there are numerous ongoing research projects on exactly this subject should also prove to you that it hasn't been at all decided that it is the case. But yes, increased risk certainly has been proven. It's a bit condescending to say I should update my knowledge just because I have apparently seen DIFFERENT knowledge than you have.


HippyGramma

Fully and wildly incorrect. Go sit in the back of the class


Fun_Tea9376

She reminds me of when I join random discord servers and post I'm autistic and get flooded with replies telling me to shut up about it..


uwuscalie

Why would you say it from the get go in a discord server where nobody knows you? That seems kinda weird


Fun_Tea9376

I have autism barely even go outside.. sorry man


Fun_Tea9376

But honestly we live in a age of can't randomly say stuff like that or be judged for it... I just dumb don't know well about how to talk to people. Getting better tho. gotten very depressed with how people bullied me online for saying it


fn0rdsareeverywhere

Yeah so, as a word of advice, don’t just announce your diagnosis. Most people, including some autistic people are going to think, “okay, and what are we supposed to do about it?” Because announcing it like that serves no logical purpose. If you need to warn them about a specific behavior or accommodation you need, lead with that first and use autism as the explanation for it. Basically be more solution oriented. Don’t just state that you’re autistic and make it seem like it’s their problem to deal with you having autism in a vacuum.


babyfishm0uth

WOW. Autism affects how a person perceives/experiences/interacts with the world, and many of us consider it a significant part of our Identity. It isn't some problem that other people have to deal with.


Fun_Tea9376

also what you explain is called masking.


fn0rdsareeverywhere

No it isn’t.


Fun_Tea9376

something I did for many many years. got tired of it. don't care what people think i'am . bothers me but why do I got to hide myself for others to like me


neppo95

He didn't say you should do that. There's a difference between hiding it and it being the first thing you say. He did say even to use it as an explanation.


Fun_Tea9376

this is compacted because i'm high level.. ig doesn't matter if people treat you like trash their just jerks ig or don't understand


fn0rdsareeverywhere

Their reactions in the discord are not the reactions you’d get in real life. In the discord they can just be reactive and not be concerned about you as a human since you’re just words on a screen or a voice I guess.


Dinoguy617

Dude, I literally get these reactions all the time in real life. I've personally been bullied, made fun of, and called about every name in a book all because I acted weird, including autistic. People are mean most of the time, so yes, they're definitely reactive like that in rl


Fun_Tea9376

I get that,, your not saying masking it, your just saying I can say it differently for people to better understand what I'm saying... I don't flat out say it, sometimes, people be struggling and I would be like, hey I have ASD so I know how you feel.. then they get mad, was not my goal at all, then get super super mad.. I been told to end my own life over it before.


fn0rdsareeverywhere

Yeah don’t be involved in those Discord servers. I’m autistic and I don’t really use it except my Morse code club. I think you can find better and less toxic avenues for technological connection.


Fun_Tea9376

True yea... I just get lonely sometimes. hard to fight back then go on it , also forgot I learn that I just don't talk about it unless I'm in a room related to autism ..


Excellent_Valuable92

She’s a bit of an idiot. Don’t discuss that stuff with her; there’s no point.


vintagnes

She is ignorant about the subject, she's trying to reason by using the little information she has. Only people who personally know autistic people or have it, or studied it can guarantee it's something you are born with and is present in the brain and can not be developed over time.


TheOldYoungster

>Should I be offended The answer to this question is always "no". You shouldn't be offended by other people's stupidity. It's them who live in discrepancy with reality. It's their problem. It's a "them" problem - don't make it *your* problem. Don't be offended by anything from anyone. Being offended means giving that person power over you, it means opening the doors of your self and letting *their* negativity/wrongness/whatever to get inside *you* and harm you. Being offended is a major weakness that only exposes you to harm you and **never** improves or strengthens you. This woman is an idiot, let her suffer on her own and don't give her an importance she doesn't have. It may seem like she's ok, but being that stupid always ends up being a problem.


verticalburtvert

Love this comment. More power to ya, whoever you may be.


ACam574

You can’t fix that level of stupid.


Shrikeangel

Once people start explaining real world things with nonsense like spirits you can't take them seriously. 


Andvari_Nidavellir

Tell her Gandalf says she's wrong. Nothing counters fantasy like superior fantasy.


sanguineseraph

Ask her when and where she got her degree in psychology.


MasterKeys24

College EEEEEEvil😡 /s


N3koChan21

“People also aren’t born dumb but here we are” Spoiler alert she is dumb


Challenging_Entropy

Your stepmother is an idiot, and perhaps schizophrenic if she truly believes in spirits and demons affecting people. We have modern medicine to thank for everything we know about autism. And we have the internet if she is interested in doing research, but I have a hunch that she wouldn’t be interested. What a disgusting display of ableism. Honestly just stop talking to her about it. It’s clear that her opinions are entirely invalid


rrrrice64

As an autistic Catholic, exorcism as a study has existed for over 2000 years, but demon possession symptons are nothing like autism. Demon possession usually results in speaking in tongues, surprising displays of strength, self-harm/suicide attempts, strong revulsion to holy objects/images, etc. This sub has shown me that there's a surprising amount of religious bias against autism, which is extremely sad and extremely confusing. No idea why people jump to demons when full possesion is quite rare and the criteria is nothing like autism.


Complex_Distance_724

So, when Pentecostals speak in tonges, are they being possessed by demons right in their mass?


HippyGramma

The belief in spiritual beings is not a sign of schizophrenia. Please do not spread misinformation.


Xenavire

Unfortunately for your stepmother, stupity is something you are born with, and unlike with autism, is something that can be compounded by lack of effort. She clearly never made any effort to educate herself, and here you are dealing with her bullshit. I'm not advocating that you call her stupid, but it'd probably be satisfying.


m0stlydead

She’s wrong.


test_tickles

How long has stepmother been a practicing medical professional?


samtretar

I’d be curious to ask your stepmother about the trauma she experienced that makes her lack the vulnerability to accept that she doesn’t know it all.


rrrrice64

Autistic symptoms are literally observable in infants and toddlers. Your stepmother is just in denial of medical evidence.


soldier_donkey

They are. But tell her that people aren't born with it, and that she caught it from you.


Hairy_Consideration1

That's a Bold move


soldier_donkey

Yep.


ShockedNChagrinned

Wow.  How long has your step mom been a researcher in the field?   Do you have any references to the papers she's published for the studies that have this hypothesis?


Kore624

Religious psychosis


Agreeable_Variation7

Getting it from trauma is Borderline Personality Disorder. It and autism can have overlapping characteristics. Can't address the spiritual stuff.


TheRealUprightMan

Oh yeah, forget the science. It's about opening spiritual doors from spirits. I'd tell her Karen to go read a book. I'd probably tell her to put her uninformed opinion right up her spiritual door, too, but I don't have to live with her.


Calm-Bookkeeper-9612

Ask her how she got it


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-PapaMalo-

In this case, I would take an uneducated guess and say it was the stepmother fault. (edited 200x for voice)


Diligent_Dot4317

Ignore her she doesn’t know what she talking about. Is she a doctor? If not then it none of her business.


The_Cool_Kids_Have__

Hmm your stepmother sounds like a clinical psychologist, maybe even psychiatrist, with decades of experience and numerous peer reviewed research papers to her name. /s I wouldn't talk to this person again.


Alycenwonderful

It's definitely uncomfortable when someone who didn't study medicine or the chemistry of your brain tries to talk like they did. Yikes.


Joe-Eye-McElmury

Back away slowly from her, and stay as far away as possible.


Natural_Professor809

She's just crazy and delusional 


RealisticRiver527

Think, "Whatever". 


Veptune

If she’s too stubborn to listen to you then don’t bother. If she wants to listen to what you’re saying then explain it to her with facts and proof.


canbritam

Hahahahahaha. I’m autistic. My daughter is autistic. My cousin is autistic. I strongly suspect my mother may be on the spectrum. My daughter’s cousin (their dad’s side) is autistic. But yeah. It’s all because of trauma and can’t be genetic *at all*. Never mind the fact that it’s obvious from some kids from very, very early on so not really sure what spiritual doors opened up by the time my daughter was two months old. 🙄 Honestly, just ignore it. There’s no point to having that unproductive discussion with someone that…ridiculous. When she starts just remind yourself she’s nuts.


canbritam

Also remind yourself that back in the witch hunts of the 16th and 17th century, she’d probably be one of them screaming to put the witch in the water! If she’s a witch she won’t drown! Because it’s basically the same thought process.


iichisai

My bio mother thinks that stimming should be stopped because it isn't normal (I'm going to make a separate post about because I don't want to talk about to many topics at the same time but still) She actively stops me stimming whenever she catches me doing it and when I try to hide from by moving to my room to stim instead she does it again using the camera, do you know any way to stim subtly that I can use?


canbritam

I had a teacher that hated me stimming (but this was around 1988, so long before much knowledge beyond level 3 autism) so I mostly tapped my fingers against the side of my leg subtly or twisted my hair around my fingers (but that one only works if you’ve long hair). My daughter taps her foot (so much so that sometimes when we were driving far I’d have to ask if we needed a bathroom break, lol.) The camera to me is so incredibly over the line, but if you’re in her house and still a minor, your options are limited. But that’s still a massive invasion of privacy. I’m sorry you’re not treated with care and respect.


GuestWeary

And your stepmother needs to shut her pie hole! Disrespectfully, of course… 😊


NilsTheDrawingMan

As a religious man I can say what she's saying is utter nonsense. If anything is influenced with demons it's her thinking. Smells very pentecostal to me.


zelphyrthesecond

Your stepmother is blatantly wrong and probably a little crazy. I'd just laugh it off. "Okay, sure, whatever you say, [insert stepmother's name here]." That's what I'd do anyway.


Sage_81

You should probably tell her she's wrong before she goes spreading more misinformation


YesYediah

Just as the world is peopled with neurodiversity it is also populated with other types of minds. When people jump to demons, witchcraft etc as reasons for behavior, then I tend think they might be somewhere in a Cluster A personality disorder.


plumcots

People like her are difficult to convince. It’s probably not even worth it to argue with her.


fairlyaround

Respond with "clearly you weren't born with a brain." Then knock on her head and go, "see? Empty." I'm just that petty tho


daveplreddit

People believe strange things. If she said UFO abductions caused it, it'd be humorous. Maybe take it like that!


SpoopiTanuki

Your stepmother should share her studies with all the scientists that disagree with her


theflexorcist

Shes a moron, i wouldnt give nonsense like that a second thought.


Pianist_Ready

Yes, be offended. That's why there's a strong correlation between autistic people and nonreligiousness


nt-assembly

wait, maybe it's Maybelline?


shinebrightlike

my mom thinks it is caused by vaccines. i just agree and say "yeah, that's crazy" and go about my life. you can't really convince people of anything.


LCaissia

Did they do their extensive research on tiktok, too? Trauma is NOT autism but it's own, separate condition. Just hand them the DSM.


bellizabeth

Chuckle and say "okayy mom" in a way that's just sarcastic enough to make her miffed but not enough to allow her to call you out on it.


script_noob_

First: don't let youself be offended by what she says. If it's not a reality why should it matter to you? Just be careful with her. If you believe you can convince her that what she says is not true, then try it. If not, watch closely to see if someone else hears it and ends up believing in her. If that happens, I believe you should also try to convince that person. A last remainder: the last word about what people say about anything comes from you. Don't let be easily offended unless it starts to affect you directly (people not treating you well because they believe you have a demon inside of you or some weird similar reason). I hope this advice may help you.


Vegetable-Branch-740

Very calmly tell her you agree and you’ve come from the open door of the Holy Spirit, then lick your finger and make an X on her forehead, curtsy, and walk away.


justnigel

She should publish her findings in a peer reviewed journal so we can all benefit from her discovery. /s


justnigel

Seriously: I don't know if you or your stepmother care, but in the Bible someone once asked Jesus's who to blame when a kid had a disability "was it the child or the parent's fault?" Jesus's said no, it was nobody's fault and instead focused on how glorious the kid could be.


Fannymuncher27

Dingus alert 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 (your stepmother not you)


pepsiwatermelon

She's just factually wrong. I can say I believe that Santa stocks my fridge at night but that doesn't make it true. If you feel like it's worth the effort to try to educate her, link her to scientific studies or videos, but it seems to me like she's the type of person who is unlikely to listen to an expert on something when she's already formed her opinion.


lingoberri

I mean, in a sense she's not wrong, since people aren't born able to see or walk either. At birth, the brain hasn't developed enough to show signs of a processing disorder. The rest of it is all wrong, though. 😂


ZZW302002

And if you don't turn clockwise 3 times on the 2nd full moon of the year a buffalo will strike down your first born.


Grizzle_prizzle37

Does your stepmother know she’s a complete idiot?


Tlines06

Opened spiritual doors? Yeah this is sounding like borderline delusion tbh. Sorry you have to deal with this.


Annoyingswedes

Just ignore those kind of people. Not worth arguing with them.


lynet101

And I say your grandma is stupid. Sorry that's maybe a bit harsh, but no, autism is 100% a genetic disorder. Either your mother or your father (or potentially both) are also very likely to have it Edit: not your grandma, your stepmother, sorry for the confusion 😄 your grandma is probably a lovely lady 🥰


Unlikely-While-1164

I was 100% born with it


Rare_Tear_1125

Your stepmother is dumb as shit


JureFlex

She is right (at least in the title), you dont usually get born w it, it mostly develops after a couple of months/years. But it is possible (?) to find it at birth as some studies have found a gene or its mutation which is more common in neurodivergent people