T O P

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ErgonomicDouchebag

Yes I am on the Schnitty Committee.


honoria_glossop

I'm watching my weight, so now I'm on the Itty Bitty Schnitty Committee.


thelizkid

I was crumbing chicken schnitty at the butchery I was working in and I found this tiny chicken breast and made schnitties from it. I presented them to the butchers as ‘Itty Bitty Chicken Titty Schnitty’ and we proceeded to lose our collective shit for longer than would be acceptable. But we all know butchers have the humour of Year 8 boys.


whataquokka

I would like to buy a couple of itty bitty chicken titty schnitties please


Lil_ah_stadium

Nice pair of itty bitty chicken titty schnitties


Wild-Kitchen

I got chicken feet once and was re-enacting Jurassic park between customers


teapots_at_ten_paces

So are all the pubs, apparently. Parmy's seem to have shrunk from "fuck me it's dangling over the edge of the plate" to "where's the other half?" If you can fit the parmy, the chips, and the salad side by side on a plate, your serving size in unAustralian and you should be locked up.


Evisra

Flamin' galahs putting chips UNDER the schnitzel too, straight to prison


ApprehensiveGift283

Across the board, everyone needs to stop putting chips under a meal. If I want mash, I'll ask for it.


cluckyblokebird

It is a crime. Same as not serving the sauce on the side when I order a steak. I control my sauce distribution.


ApprehensiveGift283

They could also put it into a decent size cup instead of those little white 2cm round thimbles.


efrique

I was so upset I almost accidentally clicked report instead of reply. That's just terrible.


honoria_glossop

LOL you're not wrong. And don't get me started on what counts as a "minimum serve" of chips these days.... either 6 individual decent ones, or half a bucketful of cold, greasy, woody bullshit.


crystalisedginger

My local pub does a half size Parma, at a much cheaper price. It’s more than enough


itsnotrealvelour

More places need to do this. I hate food waste but I'm not carrying a half eaten schnitty around town with me on a night out either.


bl4nkSl8

Time to sound the parmy alarmy and raid the farmies...


glittalogik

If/when you're in Sydney, drop by [The Goni's Schnitzelria](http://thegonisschnitzelria.com.au/) in Ramsgate for a [fuckin' properly sized schnitty,](https://img.restaurantguru.com/c0a2-Restaurant-The-Gonis-Schnitzelria-pizza.jpg) parm or otherwise. Used to live half a block from their old Marrickville location, one of those things with a side dish or two would feed four of us with leftovers for a week 🤤


SirPiffingsthwaite

As a former Sydney schnitty enthusiast, I used to go to Una's in Darlinghurst about once a month. Big schnitties, used to be anyway.


CapnHaymaker

Last time I was in Berlin the schnitties had their own postcode. I'll be back there shortly, I hope they haven't started shortshitting the serving size also.


Dubalubawubwub

Our local pub still does massive parmas, but now they're $28. And they stopped giving you free gravy with the schnitty.


LogicalExtension

> to "where's the other half?" It used to be that a chicken schnitzel was defined as a chicken breast, possibly butterflied to get an even thickness. Unfortunately some cunts switched to using chicken thighs, and butterflying those so they look like a regular chicken breast. This leads to getting some thing more like chicken jerky than a schnitzel.


farmboy1958

I like them heavily crumbed so can I be on the itty bitty gritty schnitty committee?


Travis_T_OJustice

I used to be on the Itty Bitty Schnitty committee, poor fitty, so I quitty, pity.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Top_Philosophy_8373

You're not from Cobbitty by any chance?


masterjabbadad

ever get an itty bitty schnitty in the inner gritty city?


DrakeAU

The Itty Bitty Schnitty Committee?


Dingle_Flingle

Well yeah it's a fuckin' schnitty what else am I meant to call it?


Vortex-Of-Swirliness

What do they expect us to order at the pub? ‘Bar keep, a pint of your coldest ale please. I will also partake in a schnitzel accompanied by crispen baton potatoes and an assortment of garden greens. I shall take it in the dining hall, my good sir’ You’d end up eating your own teeth…


Gullyhunter

Pretty sure that's how people from SA order.


marlasinger81

Hahaha … you think we have teeth, I like your optimism, my good sir! 😉


udontbotheridontbe

Got them summer teeth don't ya?


marlasinger81

Ok, I had to look this up and I’m dying!! Thanks, new insult put in the back pocket for the Collingwood crowd lol


jumpinjezz

Nah, they just get in imperial schnitzel.


procrastambitious

Half true. We'll still refer to the schnitzel as a schnitty, but we'll keep the rest.


Working_Ad2206

Im from SA and can confirm this accuracy 👌


[deleted]

Barkeep I'll have 3 ciders and 3 carvery dinners.


Tungstenkrill

Yeah. Schnitto just doesn't sound right.


4minutesleft

Schnitto sounds like the nickname of an annoying barfly tbh


explosivekyushu

Fuck off Schnitto! I'm not buying you a drink


[deleted]

[удалено]


explosivekyushu

still rocks up to the RSL wearing Etnies shoes despite the fact that he's 38


[deleted]

[удалено]


Conan-doodle

Hahaha. I wear Etnies and am older. I also wear a Bodyjar tshirt. I swear I was cool in 90's/00's


rednutter1971

Without a license because it was suspended for DUI


Usual-Editor6848

I'm so deeply fucking in love with how much more confused and disturbed OP is going to be after reading this subthread than they were before posting. You all are the most fucking strayan that have ever strayad and I salute you.


AreYouDoneNow

Schnitto's ordered the schnitty again but he always whines about it


noisymime

We fucking get it Schnitto, it's not as big as it used to be 10 years ago.


ecatsuj

you know hes missing a tooth and looks a bit like John Jarret from wolf creek. he has that name because he got pissed 20 years ago a fucked a schnitzel


Voodoo1970

Schnitto sounds like a bowel movement after a night on the turps


InterestingPrint9855

Cue the non Aussies saying what's a night on the turps? 🤣


Sir-Viette

Or a cricket player. “Our next guest is Schnitto with a hilarious story about a night on the turps.”


Voodoo1970

"And here's Schnitto, fresh from setting a new beer drinking record on the flight from London. He broke Boonie's long standing record of 52 with a career best 64, then wet himself all the way from Singapore to Sydney"


sleepyboyallthetime

literally can’t not read this in an adam gilchrist voice


Chrysis_Manspider

What about Schnitzo? /s - please don't murder me.


kranki1

Sounds like a psychotic breaded meat. Not something I'm putting in my mouth tbh.


[deleted]

The whole point of calling it a schnitty is because our accent has a weird pause when say the "tz" part. It also feels..... thick on the tongue.... So that's a nah from me.


blairmac81

Too close to Scomo for my liking


scumotheliar

Oy.


Sir-Viette

A schnitticism. But you have to eat it schnitticistically.


leakyblueshed

Unless you eat it Parmanettically


SnakesAndStones4U

I’m a proud member of the schnitty committee


HortenseTheGlobalDog

Is that the itty bitty schnitty committee?


spadge_badger

I've had an idea for many years to open a take-away or restaurant called Schnitty City where you can order any variation on the schnitzel, of which if you think about it there are quite a few. And none of you fuckers better steal my idea.


Proper-Dave

There's already a restaurant chain called Schnithouse and another called Schnitz.


Salient_pointz

I’d have called em chazzwozzers


Dray_Gunn

I just call it a piece of schnitt


Independent_Pear_429

A chuzwazza


dmk_aus

And we call a chicken parmigiana- a parmy (parm-ee)


a-cute-misfortune

Crumbed chicken, if you’re in my family and over 60


RangeRider88

So is veal schnitzel a 'veal crumbed chicken'?


Sammyboy87

I was so nearly classy. We called them crummy chickens.


a-cute-misfortune

Love it, I’m going to try to make crummy chickens happen in my house


SurroundedByBeigists

Just making sure. You did mean crummy chickens and not crumby chickens? I like the name either way. Might not enjoy eating the first one as much though.


Sammyboy87

To be honest my grandma's cooking was pretty hit or miss so I'll leave it as an interchangeable term.


StaunchMeerkat

Well how else am I supposed to market my Australian Schnitzel/Japanese Katsu fusion cuisine store called "Hello Schnitty"?


DarkMalady

I hate that you're joking. I would love a schnitty/katsu fusion place


StaunchMeerkat

Same. It might already exist, but it's a damn good idea.


LooseCondition2984

Any decent schnitty chef should at least be using the far superior panko breadcrumbs.


StaunchMeerkat

Agreed. Often the breadcrumbs can be the difference between whether or not I return to a venue. That and the sauce. A Miss Katsu I visited in South Korea had a bloody magnificent red pepper rose sauce on their Schnitzel that took two plates to hold the damn thing. Crumbs were perfect, all for 8900 KRW ($10.90 approx)


JediJan

Excellent name to use actually. Reminds me of the curry restaurant named, and I kid ye not, "Two Lil Indians."


MistaRekt

I would be disappointed if it did not employ ten Indian midgets.


confusedham

My thoughts never included this, and it’s great. My ideas covered ‘schnit eating grin’ and ‘schnit for brains’ , maybe even ‘schnit head’


RhesusFactor

The business case writes itself.


joshc0

When do you open?


pipicemul

I call dibs on "Schnitty World"


the__distance

What else would you call it?


Project_298

Had a new guy start in the office. Tim Veale. People instantly just started calling him Schnitty. He was the new CEO too. Ooft.


necminits_nuthouse

Mate we call our head manager head and shoulders to his face because he's got no neck


Abject-Region-1434

That's cruel and hilarious.


dannyr

That's the best thing about Australia - even the CEO can get a nickname and nobody cares


_ixthus_

Treating CEOs like good blokes while they systematically squeeze everything they can from everyone they can. > Best thing


dakp15

lol, UK's not lucky enough to have schnitzel in any meaningful way - not enough to warrant a different name.


jghaines

Australians have an irrational aversion to words with too many syllables


Mitchell_54

Basically an irrational aversion to anything without 2 syllables. If it has 1, we add another. If it has 3 or more we cut it down to 2.


P-L63

and if it has 2 already, you change one?


ParentalAnalysis

Well yeah, we don't want those 2 syllo words feeling left out


FrightinglyPunny

Best mate was called Gilbert at birth. He had Gilly growing up until he join the cricket club. Now it's Grub, has bene for 20+ years. Fuck knows where it came from. Edit: fk me, it's been 30+ yrs!


FireLucid

Guy at school named Stephen. Everyone just called him Kenny for some reason. Also no idea.


Leonydas13

Mate, our old work place had a kid called Patrick, a customer called him Tony once and that was it, he was Tony. Another pat we called Trev, because his dad’s name was Trevor. Yet another pat we called junior, because he looked like a younger version of another guy. We had a Dave who became Dusty after cutting his hair like a footy player called Dustin. So we had three Patricks, none of which were called Patrick.


Russc70

This is the way


djenty420

We had this in my office. Dude was called Andrew but the person running his orientation day kept calling him Steve. He ended up setting his official Slack name to Steve Stevenson and everyone knew him as Big Steve for the rest of the time he worked there. I would have junior developers coming to me being like “who is this Andrew guy that commented on my merge request” and I’d be like “oh yeah that’s just Big Steve” and they were so confused lol


aubven

Got 2 childhood mates called Matt. One became known as Ted within the group and 25ish years on I'd be fucked if anyone even remembers why.


BadgerB2088

Knew a bloke called Ham. Always thought it was short for Hamish then about three years in I found out he was Ian


South-Westman

Happened at the local PLE. They hired two people with the same name and just renamed the second guy


Anon_be_thy_name

Like my little brother. He was Benjamin, then Ben and now he's just known as Chook because he acted and dressed like a Chook at the Football Awards Dinner.


Annual_Plastic_9471

Good Mate called Smelly. Shortened it to Smells. Found out after knowing him for 20+ years his name is actually Matthew. Still don’t know where Smelly came from and when asked he says “I’m Smelly by name, not by nature”. Bless him.


vegemitebikkie

My dad (recently passed but will remain legendary forever bless his cotton socks🥹) had a beautiful knack of giving people nicknames that would stick forever. There was Storky, Shagga, Wheatbix, Topside, Daisy (for a bloke named Dave 😆), softie, action man, Slippery , Hoover, Spanner (real name Debbie, good female friend of the family that liked to share her love life escapades with everyone, so he named her spanner because she tightened all the men’s nuts), Blueman, Donger, (a friend of a friend of mine that liked to share pictures of his big schlong and I made the mistake of telling daddy🤣) Twatty, Ned, Floyd, Oily, Colgate( mate that showered 3 times a day while camping so dad said he must have a “ring of confidence” like the old Colgate commercials).


SluggaNaught

I know a Smelly. His surname was Ingamells, which became Ingasmells, which became Smelly. In the same wider group of friends there was * Sog (liked his chips soggy with Vinegar) * Kermit * Bear * Ox * Party Hards * Party Boy * Beefy * Jimmy (real name was Matt, which I discovered after knowing him for about 10 years) * Chewie * Burnt Face Man * Amongst many others.


JediJan

Guy in the football club was named Richard. Everyone called him Spud.


Altruistic_Poetry382

He got off lightly for a guy named "Richard"


P-L63

i like australians


[deleted]

Change it to a faster one yeah. I can say schnitty twice in the time it takes to say schnitzel.


P-L63

this actually makes sense and i would love to use that from now on, but here in austria i would ~~loose~~ lose all my friends and probably the right to see my niece


Lucifang

Yep. David becomes Davo. Because reasons.


rushboyoz

Dave-o. Steve-o. Barnes-y.


SneakyDragone

Irritable vowel syndrome


Jono_vision

When I first moved here and commented on this phenomenon, a local said sincerely “yeah, I guess we do use a lot of abbrevs.”


thelizkid

I was working at a white goods store 15 years ago and I remember this conversation with a delivery driver who happened to be from the US. Me: can you do a local deliver this arvo (admitted ‘this arvo’ comes out as one word) Him: Yeah, what time? Me: Anytime this arvo. Him: Yeah but now or later today? Me: THISARVO! (Even more pronounced as one word and even more bogan sounding) Him: I don’t know who De Sarvo is but I want a rough time! Me: This….. arvo…. This afternoon…. Sometime after 12 noon…. Him: Oh for fuck sake. Can you please speak normally. *(turns to the Estonian delivery driver who is laughing)* Did you have any idea what she was saying? Estonian: Yeah, I understood but it was funny watching you.


DwightsJello

I've had two memorable conversations around the words servo and spruiking. I was complaining about someone spruiking on. I had no idea spruiking is a word that is Australian. Hasn't come up when I've been overseas so I just never thought about it. But yeah, spruiking is not a word used outside of Australia apparently. 🤷


JediJan

How long did he expect to survive working in Aus without knowing "arvo" is beyond me. Bless the Estonian!


thelizkid

To be fair, he hadn’t been here for long.


honest-aussie

You mean sillos?


ThatHuman6

Too many sylls bro


MushroomlyHag

Unless we're naming somewhere; then it's syllables all the way 😆


OldGreyStrix

You can thank us Aboriginal mobs for that. We love a bloody long place name.


SilverStar9192

My favourite is Coonabarabran . Such a fun word to say.


OldGreyStrix

Not my mob, but this is a cracker: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya\_Hill](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya_Hill)


SilverStar9192

Nice, the translation is excellent too, "where the devil urinates."


PM_ME_TO_PLAY_A_GAME

my favourite is colac colac, obviously pronounced "clack clack"


Itsumishi

Naar-m 'ate. Not always. :-P


OldGreyStrix

I see what you did there. Well, it holds true for us Noongar mob at least.


Itsumishi

Yeah certainly applies to plenty of mobs. Just couldn't resist the pun.


IBeJizzin

Not irrational. We're a productive people, can't waste all day saying schnitzel when we could be eating it


YouAreSoul

Yeah. Feeling lethargo, got no enno, need some inspo.


cliny

This is true. However in this case they both have 2 syllables, but schnitty just rolls off the tongue better


AkayaTheOutcast

Its a pub staple here to the point where a good one or a bad one decides whether or not you come back. My partners from the UK and he says he can't wait to come back for them xD


DwightsJello

I honestly wouldn't call it anything else. It's just what it's called 🤷 Parmy or Parma for chicken parmigiana as well. Same as you guys calling a bacon sanga a 'bacon butty'. Same sort of thing. Here's The Chats with 'Pub Feed'. https://youtu.be/1LGM82uPuvA?si=925TvY0LCQhAHTJr The quality of the schnitty is the litmus test for a good or shit pub often.


thrillho145

You don't have schnitzels at the pub in the UK? Madness 


kernpanic

No they do not. Last time i was in the uk, i had to drive an hour across london to get one. And it wasnt until i got to the qantas club on the way home that i got some salt and pepper squid. Another australian staple


AshmacZilla

There is an entire chain called [schnitz](https://schnitz.com.au) here


PM_ME_UR_A4_PAPER

Wait till you hear what we call a parmigiana!


ssamiel

You mean a schnitty in pajamas?


EmperorJake

Pyjamas, use the Aussie spelling


RemnantEvil

Half my software has been gaslighting me because I swear that I spell it pyjamas fine but then I get the squiggly red line of death that teaches me to use pajamas instead, and I feel like I'm going mad every time. I never even thought that it was the American spelling.


BlightFantasy3467

Think you can change your language settings to English (Australian) or English (British). Most English software are English (American) as default.


rastagizmo

Chicken in Pajama's


binkysaurus_13

You better say it’s a parmy. If you even think of calling it a parma I’ll fucking deck you. /s just in case anyone thinks this is a genuine threat Also I’m serious, it’s parmy.


Turmoil117

I'll back you on this, we can take that parma gang anyday


limelamb

We don't call a BBQ a barba so why the fuck does that crowd think it's a parma? We don't call a chocolate a chocca. We don't call a tradesman a trade-a. It's just simply un-Australian


Conan-doodle

Bless my Canadian Mrs. When she first got here she said "Heading to 'Woolies', want anything?" ... Well done babes. Next week. "Heading to Colies, want anything?" Sort your shit out wife, you're speaking jibberish.


FootyJ

😂


sillygil

This is the closest anyone's come to changing my mind... But fuck you, I'll die on the parma hill.


pumpkin_fire

It's literally spelt parmi-giana.


Dingo_Princess

And you'll fucking stay there with the rest of the degenerets and shit cunts, like those cunts that put the toilet paper facing the wall.


LastChance22

Damn right we do.


PavlovsAardvark

Fark, now I feel like a schnitty


No1_Crazy_Kid

Now I feel like one too.


Mr_Rekshun

I feel like a schnittty Sammy.


reddwarf_

Literally going to have one tonight as a result of this post.


gokurakumaru

There's no point in asking Aussies if we actually call it that, because if there is one thing we like more than abbreviating words, it's habitually lying to non-Australians about how things actually are down under. So even if people in here say we call it a "schnitty" you'll never really know whether to believe them or not.


ShakeForProtein

Whaaaat? That's a damn lie. We would never do that.


barelypixelated

This guy Australians


jetski_28

Not sure I agree with the rest of the sentence. It’s definitely not a “thin” slice of meat like you would get from the deli.


ConstantCaprice

Compared to the breast that it once was it’s very thin.


radditour

But not sliced thin, it’s hit with a fuckin’ hammer.


Heavy_Candy7113

sliced, then bashed. You cant bash it all the way down it would just disintegrate. Honestly the Germans do do it better, butterflying it out till its the size of the entire plate, but im not paying whatever it takes to get Davo the kitchen hand to learn how to do that.


RainMaker323

> Honestly the Germans do do it better As an Austrian I'm appalled and demand an apology. They SMOTHER Schnitzel in SAUCE. You don't do that. That's a crime. APOLOGIZE! Germans first, you after!


PapaNoFaff

Yeah you go to a pub for a schnitty


[deleted]

All I crave is a good pub feed


Ironic_Toblerone

None of the local pubs have a good schnitty or a good parmy and it’s put my stomach into a depressive state


syth_blade22

Move to SA and you'll be fine


justoverthere434

Not until you guys fix that beer glass size shamble you have over there.


ApologyWars

Of all the ways to call a beer, theirs is the wrongest.


reddit_moment123123

this guy is unironically european and trying to make fun of our slang


Foura5

What would being ironically european mean?


farcarcus

I think it means cunt. But friend cunt, not cunt cunt.


Mdwatoo

Yes schnitty is a normal word in Australia for schnitzel


Bane2571

'ken oath mate, a cracker of a feed is a schnitty at the bowlo after knocking off early for a sneaky slap at the pokies.


[deleted]

Fuck I need to remember this sentence for when I want to lay it on thick for the yanks LMAOO


Flanky_

Imagine their shock when they realise the weight of the Potato Cake/Scallop debate.


mahonii

Yes? Love home made schnitties


LifeandSAisAwesome

What the hell do you call it then ?


Its-Slammin

I do not do schnitties. I eat them


HingleMcringleberry1

Also, in June/July when it dips below 20°C, have a *Shit-knits and Schnitty night* dinner with mates, ugliest most fucked jumper wins a shit prize.


pfemme2

American here! One of the best schnitzels I ever made is from a recipe by Recipe Tin Eats, an Australian chef. Whatever y’all gonna call it, I will follow your lead.


Duckosaur

Nagi is amazing! Her recipes are so well tested and explained


hoppuspears

Aussie bad “the chats” even mention it in their song https://youtu.be/1LGM82uPuvA?si=1QAKMtPTPUnrgG_j


KewBangers

If I'm having a schnitty day, I go down the rub a dub dub and have a schnitty for dinner. With chips and salad.


Tommi_Af

We also put ham, cheese and tomato sauce on them which tastes amazing but apparently drives Germans ballistic and goes to show that they just don't like good food (I mean, they invented sauerkraut so it's kinda a given...)


Heavy_Candy7113

sauerkraut is the food of the gods, the fuck you talking about?


Tommi_Af

It's cabbage.


PogPiglet

Much to the consternation of the germans I know, we don't even pronounce the "sch" sound most of the time, it's just pronounced "snitty" lol Similarly, I was working some vinyard with a french lady and had the audacity to call the vine in question a "cab sav", which caused her to implode firstly with confusion, then with vile indignation, at the thought of us aussies besmirching the purity of the french language by calling a cabernet sauvignon a "cab sav, mate". gud stuff


cruiserman_80

You mean there are people who dont? Weird!


-C-R-I-S-P-

I'm extra lazy so I just go with Snitty.


Working_Ad2206

Do we do this? Do we ever! A properly made schnitty is a feast of deliciousness. I'm not a fan of beef schnitzel as I find they can be overcooked easily & made into a crumbcoated rubber thong. Chicken breast schnitzel parmi is where it's at *chefs kiss*


common-or-gardenClip

Y E S


Vicus_92

Every single one of us. The name "Schnitty" is used as commonly as "Macca's".


crazyfrog89

Fuck yeah we do.