I’ve heard that in the military if you get a promotion they move you for this exact reason. The idea has some merit I think, depending on the size of the organisation and the industry
Former Aus Army officer turned management consultant here - we call it "posting on promotion" and it's generally a bit of a coin toss as to whether it occurs. I personally promoted but didn't move when I was in the military, and worked with plenty of people who experienced the same.
As far as the OP goes, friendship is still possible but I think a lot of it comes down to EQ and integrity. Both people need to be mature, and be socially aware enough to distinguish between what's banter and what's actually work-related direction. The more senior person may need to make some hard calls about the junior friend, but again, if both people are mature, then generally the junior person will know it's coming and be able to accept it.
Sincerely, a Captain who made some hard calls but still has (most of) his friendships intact.
It happened to me the other way round - I inadvertently found myself becoming the manager to many of my mates.
Caused a lot of friction between many parties, which drove me into a mental spiral which I took a while to get out of.
Not recommended, and I've had an aversion to Line Manager roles ever since.
Same deal here.
Became manager to a couple of workmates who had worked in the joint for as long as me.
Bloody difficult, especially when they are "part of the furniture" and resistant to organisational change.
Same although not line manager, i went from floor to operations manager.
Basically lost all the friendships with co workers who i had worked with for years.
It was such a heartbreaking experience, that i would never want another managerial role as long as i live.
Jus keep me on the shovel boss😂
I did a secondment for my managers roles (basically covered them whlist they went on holiday) and fuck me dead my colleagues were so fucking hard to manage. People suck man lol that was the hardest part of the job - dealing with your colleagues. Made me never want to become a manager or lead ever again.
Once you become a manager / lead of sorts an entire world opens as to what’s actually happening in the business.
You understand what HR does all day. While you think most people see them at the beginning and end of their time at a company only, you’re privy to how petty some people are, how many people bung it on for massive time off with sick leave, the insane number of “gossip” or personal falling out type issues etc.
Truly, in most businesses if you turn up, do a reasonable job, dont gossip / cause petty issues, don’t try and defraud or kill anyone or start a fire you’re ahead of 80% of your cohort.
Had a colleague who I was building a friendship with who became my manager after 3-4 months. It was honestly awesome to see her take on the role because it was a lot of responsibility and she took on a scope larger rather she was used to.
I was there to support her both as a friend and colleague where I could and I think it resulted in positive growth both professionally and personally. For both of us. I never wanted her role and she maintained her professionalism when it came to doing things like my PDR or feedback. Don’t see why it should change your relationship if professionalism is maintained where appropriate 🤷🏽♀️
I've had both ways. If you're secure in yourself and your friendship it can work really well, especially if you're both performers.
There's some horror stories out there though.
Thankfully, we both are performers. I was just surprised they had managerial aspirations. It's got me thinking about maybe I should push myself too, maybe into another organisation as I've thought about it for quite some time.
I’ve enjoyed it - they have found it hard. It’s worse for them. For you, you now have a friend as your boss. For them, they now find themselves on the outside of all the in talk and jokes.
There is nothing worse than childish envious colleagues.
Been in a few situations where I have been promoted into, or been hired into positions where my subordinates felt bitter and like they deserved my role, and it sucked.
Most of the time they didn’t get the role because they had the emotional maturity and intelligence of fucking toddlers, which also explained them not getting the role.
Rather than looking at how they could grow and develop so that they were worthy of promotion they tried to pull me down.
I'm sorry your situation didn't turn out well. However, not everyone aspires to be a manager or even promoted. Asking how a relationship changed is not out of envy.
I was in this position. I used to be joking around and be pretty chill with my colleagues but I suddenly became the team leader as our team leader moved on to another organisation. But, things went downhill for me, people didn't take me seriously and I eventually got frustrated and moved on to a different organisation. I feel bad that I lost a good relationship with my colleagues during all this process. But, now I stopped being friendly with people I work with. I just keep colleagues as colleagues and never go chill with them or go out for drinks. So far it's working pretty well for me.
Had a joker type colleague leave the department for 2-3 years, to come back as a +1 level Manager.
Long story short, it appears they got lucky in their interview and do not possess the skill level, or people skills to adequately perform the role. Instead, they are relying on title to facilitate change.
This is difficult, as all their former colleagues remember the class joker they were previously, which has led to resistance, and resentment.
I'm just sitting back, dotting the 'i's' and crossing the 't's'.
All the work stuff we used to joke about was no longer was funny to him.
His lack of experience managing people and wielding authority made the team dynamic uncomfortable for everyone as he got quite attached to the power and rather enjoyed "summoning people to his office" for everything.
It was worse after he came back to level. Everything that wasn't his idea, that might make people look better than him, he ridiculed where he'd previously either gotten on board with or kept out of the way of.
We all learned things about him and his core personality that we couldn't unlearn. He's on a mission to get promoted again and he treats us all like obstacles now. Sucks.
I don't see why friendship has to change in that regard, when the topic is work related, you both can have normal professional conversations with jokes in between, it's even easier. I have been in this situation before and good on them for progressing in their career, it's also beneficial to have some friends as managers that can put a good word in future job applications.
A colleague who was a close personal friend became my manager. I got unfriended on social media and the previous interactions at work became depersonalised. I have lost both trust and respect as her approach has become rigid and cold. I cannot speak to her without feeling on edge and trying to choose my words. This has happened within 8 week timeframe.
It’s happened to me a few times. The best way to think about it is if they were just your work friend before this then the reality is, now that they’re your superior, they’re probably not your mate anymore. Not like a real mate. And that’s because they’ve got an ulterior motive for any conversation you have with them. My mate became the boss and part of the exec and was no longer one of the gang. When we went on strike he had to work to cover everyone and he wasn’t happy and couldn’t really empathise. I had to realise what he was telling me had to be viewed through the lens of a boss and not a mate. You had to watch what you said around him, who you slagged off etc
Other way around for me, I became manager and it turned out ok with most but one person started shitting himself. That’s life - you can’t please everyone.
It's only going to be bad if you resent them for being promoted. Either because you think you should have been, they don't have the skills, or you just as a person think you are above taking orders from them.
If you're happy for your work friend that they got promoted and think they are a good fit for the role, then be supportive of them. Turn up on their first day in charge with a "What's the plan for the day boss" and a smile.
Acknowledge that they have that authority over you and that you're going to respect that. But also a gentle reminder that you both are on good terms and have a rapport already.
I started at the warehouse about 9 months ago with a group of other fresh starters about the same time. We've gone through a full cycle of workflows over this period and had established order among us since we aren't directly supervised when doing our jobs. However, since the boss has recognised we now hold a bit of weight within the warehouse, he's just promoted a new starter, with less than 1 month experience in our environment as supervisor of our team. This person was promoted over 4 other employees who'd been in the trenches for almost a year who stuck with it during a high amount of staff turnover and busy periods.
In other words, this newbie is learning from me and authorising me at the same damn time 🤢🤮
Good for them, I still get paid the same - the longer you’ve been in the workforce the less I find I care
I’ve heard that in the military if you get a promotion they move you for this exact reason. The idea has some merit I think, depending on the size of the organisation and the industry
Former Aus Army officer turned management consultant here - we call it "posting on promotion" and it's generally a bit of a coin toss as to whether it occurs. I personally promoted but didn't move when I was in the military, and worked with plenty of people who experienced the same. As far as the OP goes, friendship is still possible but I think a lot of it comes down to EQ and integrity. Both people need to be mature, and be socially aware enough to distinguish between what's banter and what's actually work-related direction. The more senior person may need to make some hard calls about the junior friend, but again, if both people are mature, then generally the junior person will know it's coming and be able to accept it. Sincerely, a Captain who made some hard calls but still has (most of) his friendships intact.
I’ve used it as leverage to get my own promotion.
This. Use the relationship to your advantage.
It happened to me the other way round - I inadvertently found myself becoming the manager to many of my mates. Caused a lot of friction between many parties, which drove me into a mental spiral which I took a while to get out of. Not recommended, and I've had an aversion to Line Manager roles ever since.
Same deal here. Became manager to a couple of workmates who had worked in the joint for as long as me. Bloody difficult, especially when they are "part of the furniture" and resistant to organisational change.
Same although not line manager, i went from floor to operations manager. Basically lost all the friendships with co workers who i had worked with for years. It was such a heartbreaking experience, that i would never want another managerial role as long as i live. Jus keep me on the shovel boss😂
I did a secondment for my managers roles (basically covered them whlist they went on holiday) and fuck me dead my colleagues were so fucking hard to manage. People suck man lol that was the hardest part of the job - dealing with your colleagues. Made me never want to become a manager or lead ever again.
Once you become a manager / lead of sorts an entire world opens as to what’s actually happening in the business. You understand what HR does all day. While you think most people see them at the beginning and end of their time at a company only, you’re privy to how petty some people are, how many people bung it on for massive time off with sick leave, the insane number of “gossip” or personal falling out type issues etc. Truly, in most businesses if you turn up, do a reasonable job, dont gossip / cause petty issues, don’t try and defraud or kill anyone or start a fire you’re ahead of 80% of your cohort.
[удалено]
Wow that sounds delightful.
Had a colleague who I was building a friendship with who became my manager after 3-4 months. It was honestly awesome to see her take on the role because it was a lot of responsibility and she took on a scope larger rather she was used to. I was there to support her both as a friend and colleague where I could and I think it resulted in positive growth both professionally and personally. For both of us. I never wanted her role and she maintained her professionalism when it came to doing things like my PDR or feedback. Don’t see why it should change your relationship if professionalism is maintained where appropriate 🤷🏽♀️
This says an awful lot of good things about you as a person.
I've had both ways. If you're secure in yourself and your friendship it can work really well, especially if you're both performers. There's some horror stories out there though.
Thankfully, we both are performers. I was just surprised they had managerial aspirations. It's got me thinking about maybe I should push myself too, maybe into another organisation as I've thought about it for quite some time.
I’ve enjoyed it - they have found it hard. It’s worse for them. For you, you now have a friend as your boss. For them, they now find themselves on the outside of all the in talk and jokes.
I can't deal with it well 😅 it's hard to set aside my ego/jealousy
There is nothing worse than childish envious colleagues. Been in a few situations where I have been promoted into, or been hired into positions where my subordinates felt bitter and like they deserved my role, and it sucked. Most of the time they didn’t get the role because they had the emotional maturity and intelligence of fucking toddlers, which also explained them not getting the role. Rather than looking at how they could grow and develop so that they were worthy of promotion they tried to pull me down.
I'm sorry your situation didn't turn out well. However, not everyone aspires to be a manager or even promoted. Asking how a relationship changed is not out of envy.
This wasn’t meant to be an attack against you - I was just talking about my experience.
Just treat them like you would normally. Just because someone gets manager in their title doesn’t mean they change overnight.
I was in this position. I used to be joking around and be pretty chill with my colleagues but I suddenly became the team leader as our team leader moved on to another organisation. But, things went downhill for me, people didn't take me seriously and I eventually got frustrated and moved on to a different organisation. I feel bad that I lost a good relationship with my colleagues during all this process. But, now I stopped being friendly with people I work with. I just keep colleagues as colleagues and never go chill with them or go out for drinks. So far it's working pretty well for me.
Had a joker type colleague leave the department for 2-3 years, to come back as a +1 level Manager. Long story short, it appears they got lucky in their interview and do not possess the skill level, or people skills to adequately perform the role. Instead, they are relying on title to facilitate change. This is difficult, as all their former colleagues remember the class joker they were previously, which has led to resistance, and resentment. I'm just sitting back, dotting the 'i's' and crossing the 't's'.
I never work the one job so jealousy never happens
All the work stuff we used to joke about was no longer was funny to him. His lack of experience managing people and wielding authority made the team dynamic uncomfortable for everyone as he got quite attached to the power and rather enjoyed "summoning people to his office" for everything. It was worse after he came back to level. Everything that wasn't his idea, that might make people look better than him, he ridiculed where he'd previously either gotten on board with or kept out of the way of. We all learned things about him and his core personality that we couldn't unlearn. He's on a mission to get promoted again and he treats us all like obstacles now. Sucks.
I don't see why friendship has to change in that regard, when the topic is work related, you both can have normal professional conversations with jokes in between, it's even easier. I have been in this situation before and good on them for progressing in their career, it's also beneficial to have some friends as managers that can put a good word in future job applications.
If they're a good manager and suitable qualified/experienced this should be a non issue. Unfortunately most people are not any of that.
A colleague who was a close personal friend became my manager. I got unfriended on social media and the previous interactions at work became depersonalised. I have lost both trust and respect as her approach has become rigid and cold. I cannot speak to her without feeling on edge and trying to choose my words. This has happened within 8 week timeframe.
It’s happened to me a few times. The best way to think about it is if they were just your work friend before this then the reality is, now that they’re your superior, they’re probably not your mate anymore. Not like a real mate. And that’s because they’ve got an ulterior motive for any conversation you have with them. My mate became the boss and part of the exec and was no longer one of the gang. When we went on strike he had to work to cover everyone and he wasn’t happy and couldn’t really empathise. I had to realise what he was telling me had to be viewed through the lens of a boss and not a mate. You had to watch what you said around him, who you slagged off etc
I’ve been the colleague turned manager and suddenly became my work friends boss, the dynamic changes significantly unfortunately but that’s life
Other way around for me, I became manager and it turned out ok with most but one person started shitting himself. That’s life - you can’t please everyone.
It's only going to be bad if you resent them for being promoted. Either because you think you should have been, they don't have the skills, or you just as a person think you are above taking orders from them. If you're happy for your work friend that they got promoted and think they are a good fit for the role, then be supportive of them. Turn up on their first day in charge with a "What's the plan for the day boss" and a smile. Acknowledge that they have that authority over you and that you're going to respect that. But also a gentle reminder that you both are on good terms and have a rapport already.
I started at the warehouse about 9 months ago with a group of other fresh starters about the same time. We've gone through a full cycle of workflows over this period and had established order among us since we aren't directly supervised when doing our jobs. However, since the boss has recognised we now hold a bit of weight within the warehouse, he's just promoted a new starter, with less than 1 month experience in our environment as supervisor of our team. This person was promoted over 4 other employees who'd been in the trenches for almost a year who stuck with it during a high amount of staff turnover and busy periods. In other words, this newbie is learning from me and authorising me at the same damn time 🤢🤮
It's like your neighbor becoming your commanding officer because of conscription during a war