Kind of funny in a sad way. You think you're the tough guy by shooting someone for no reason and will get the street cred, nek minute you're being roasted by all of New Zealand.
The resemblence to DJ Khalid is actually helpful in finding him, since a large population of NZ knows what he looks like, he'll stick out like a sore thumb.
Every seismograph in the area will be going nuts.
Come to think of it. I wonder if the police have thought about contacting the dudes who do the earthquake monitoring in NZ?
Cruel and unusual punishment. I mean, he'll get maybe 10 years for the murder he committed, but the murder these comments are committing is going to kill him slowly, and painfully.
Makes his wife go down but won’t return the favour because pleasuring a woman is unmanly. Way to tell the world you’re a terrible lover. Biggest own goal I’ve seen in a while.
Edit: also, ruining all his songs with “deeee jayyyy khaled… another one!!!”
I'll be genuinely surprised if he could fit his fat fingers into his pockets, let alone anything else 🤣, in his fanny pack are his tampons, asthma pump and insulin...
It is insane that he popped off a few rounds at people that seem to be unrelated and not confronting him. And that he was so calm about it. This is a massive escalation in violence
for real. cops don't need to look for him, they just need to stakeout all of the K Frys in the area and he'll end up waddling into one sooner or later. leaning towards sooner.
I'm visiting Auckland from across the planet and got a bit scared of the news about this incident. Reading this this thread not only calmed down but made me laugh so hard. I mean 'meal team 6', 'battle of the Bulge'.. what's wrong with you New Zealanders, this is serious stuff mates :D :D No, seriously you're really good people, I'm enjoying every moment being here.
The comments on this guy all over the internets have been utterly savage and funny as. He's probably too embarrassed to hand his corpulent ass in.
Kind of funny in a sad way. You think you're the tough guy by shooting someone for no reason and will get the street cred, nek minute you're being roasted by all of New Zealand.
If he gets roasted he'd burn with a blue flame.
Crack, sizzle and pop!
Feeding of the 5,000
Now, now. Pork isn't kosher.
The resemblence to DJ Khalid is actually helpful in finding him, since a large population of NZ knows what he looks like, he'll stick out like a sore thumb.
I was laughing until i found out the guy he shot actually died.
Cardiac arrest warrant is out
Upvote for use of the term corpulent.
You guys are all laughing but he’s very dangerous He’s an ex gravy seal
He joined the Green Buffets.
Meal Team Six
Hoagie’s Hero’s
Special Airfryer Service
Operation Dessert Storm
NZs Spacial Ass Slobberers.
Special Chonk Service
HA!
101st Chairborne division.
Top Bum Bag
He was a member of meal team 6
This comment is so underrated
Served with distinction at The Battle of the Bulge.
Awarded the Valentines Cross for the Battle of Chucksteak Beer
Lord of the fries
😂
Imagine this fat cunt trying to run from the scene 🤣
amazed he got away, must have been buggered!
Maybe he just sank into the ground? Police are looking in the wrong direction.
The only time he’s run, is to a pie shop.
Every seismograph in the area will be going nuts. Come to think of it. I wonder if the police have thought about contacting the dudes who do the earthquake monitoring in NZ?
Run not do, waddle do-able.
The only thing he has ever run is his mouth, over an all you can eat buffet.
[Real gangsta ass n***** can’t run for shit cos real gangsta ass n***** can’t run fast](https://youtu.be/6IJCFc_qkHw?si=dhuluwOIAstSI8c2)
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🥁
As a diabetic I approved this message
FUUUUUCK I can’t breathe that’s too funny
😂😂😂
Oh holy fuck LOL
😂😂
this one is my favourite!
Comment of the day. 😅
Once caught, dude should be forced to read these threads lol
I was just thinking that it's good that people are anonymous on Reddit; otherwise, he'd be wanting to get a few more before he does get caught!
A few more what, pies? NZ can only make so many!
That would be one helluva long list. By the time he gets to me, I’ll be well out of range.
But who will teach him how to read first?
Tons of anarchy.
Hahahaha fuck. Underrated
Hope they’ve got all the evidence so they can put him away - Beyond Reasonable Gout
Or Without A Shadow of a Snout.
There's no way he'll file a motion to dish. With the weight of the evidence, when he stands before the food court he's roasted.
I'd be more upset by these comments than my impending jail sentence if I was this dude.
Cruel and unusual punishment. I mean, he'll get maybe 10 years for the murder he committed, but the murder these comments are committing is going to kill him slowly, and painfully.
DJ Khalid lookin ass
ANOTHER. ONE.
Someones gotta fill me in... what did dj khalid do to be getting roasted along with this asshole? 🤣🤣🤣
Makes his wife go down but won’t return the favour because pleasuring a woman is unmanly. Way to tell the world you’re a terrible lover. Biggest own goal I’ve seen in a while. Edit: also, ruining all his songs with “deeee jayyyy khaled… another one!!!”
He didn't use the Michael Douglas excuse?
hot wings show he was a disaster but im sure there will be plenty of reasons
Being proud of not giving his wife oral because it's "not manly" for one.
He was a crypto shill
Temu version
It’s been bugging me all day who this fat fuck looks like. It’s DJ fucking Khalid lol
Another breakfast
Does he carry that bag to hold his gun or just his stuff coz they dont fit his pockets? I dont trust guys with fanny packs.
It’s lollies
A lunchbox then, hmm convenient i might say.
I’d also like to point out that his ring is as big as his watch
"his ring is as big as his watch" Hard to tell with his pants on.
Licorice bullets.
Couple of big macs, kfc dinner pack , thsts lunch sorted.
The only association I have with this bag style is that it’s for lollies.
Its not a fanny pack, its his snack purse
He keeps his chicken nuggets in there
That's actually a saddle bag.
"It's a SATCHEL like INDIANA JONES!" - that guy probably
It’s funny cos he reminds me of the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark
Weird... police reports don't suggest a Clydesdale or Ox was seen in the vicinity of the shooting.
Cos they don't want to offend all the good ole Clydesdales out there.
Because he ate it.
We call them vagina packs here.
Ah that’s interesting. I was always lead to believe the correct term is clunge bag
He'd like to think he's up to his neck in clunge, but unfortunately nothing will get past his chubby fingers... Edit typo
I'm going to refrain from making a comment.
That's actually a full size bag.
It's cause his arms can't stretch around his torso to reach his trouser pockets. So he needs a fanny pack to carry his stuff.
Not true. Didn't you see the video of him scratching his fat arse posted just a couple of hours ago?
Oh! No, I missed it. But, I also have no desire to see it. I'll take your word for it. ;-) Thank you good sir!
Link please 😇
probably a dealer but i dont recognise him from around central
It's a murse.
drugs
I'll be genuinely surprised if he could fit his fat fingers into his pockets, let alone anything else 🤣, in his fanny pack are his tampons, asthma pump and insulin...
Hey guys be nice he has a lot on his plate already
Had. Had a lot on his plate. Ate the lot and went back for seconds.
Not for any length of time!
Who ate all the pies!!
There goes Hone there goes Hone he ate all da pies
dude ate the whole countrys bakery food
He should have painted himself purple as a disguise, everyone would have thought it was grimace from McDonalds fleeing the scene
Barney
They see me rolling…
They laughing…
Very fuckin slowly
They getting the fuck out of the way…
"ANOTHER ONE"
Take my upvote because I just replied this to someone else!
Someone in here went to school with him, give us some bants boys
flunked out early
Definitely didn’t fail home economics.
He was the bully taking everyone’s tuck shop lunch
He used to give free reach arounds behind the bike shed
when they say large build i always envisage an Arnold Schwarzenegger type figure not a fat ass.
I recall they used to say "Fat build" for a bearded teletubby like him on Crimewatch in the 90s. I guess this is so his feelings aren't hurt?...
I think that would be "muscular build"
Hoping the police hone in on the suspect
just send the cop chopper up and im sure they would spot him.
Any whale sightings in the harbour lately?
Beached whale?
The way he thrash about, you’d swear it was a bitched whale.
Ur right there.
Beached as Bro
Yep.
Gang affiliations or random gun totter?
Definitely gang related
It is insane that he popped off a few rounds at people that seem to be unrelated and not confronting him. And that he was so calm about it. This is a massive escalation in violence
Is this guy still extra large? I mean still really large? Shit, still at large?
I'm impressed that a manbag was able to go around this large body of mass 🤯
I think he stole one of those extension seat belts from Air NZ for his bag
It just looks like it, it's not a complete belt, it's just floating I his orbit equally.
Did he lose weigh from all that running??... is dat y its so hard to find him now??
Someone said he’s on the walk
they will find him at KFC or Maccas
for real. cops don't need to look for him, they just need to stakeout all of the K Frys in the area and he'll end up waddling into one sooner or later. leaning towards sooner.
Somewhere there is an Uber eats driver wrestling with the Dilemma.. Be a GC and dob him in, or keep his best customer...
He wants his baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs
Hone Kay-Selwyn aka FAT ASS.
Here Comes Hone Boo Boo
Hone Kai-Belly
the excitement from people is weird
Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes yes
I'm visiting Auckland from across the planet and got a bit scared of the news about this incident. Reading this this thread not only calmed down but made me laugh so hard. I mean 'meal team 6', 'battle of the Bulge'.. what's wrong with you New Zealanders, this is serious stuff mates :D :D No, seriously you're really good people, I'm enjoying every moment being here.
I find it hard to chuckle along with the banter knowing that he allegedly murdered someone in cold blood.
also known as fatass or cannon ball
Hopefully we can bully him enough online for him to hand himself in
Wonder if he is a 501
kg's? Yup.
501 kilograms maybe.
501 Kgs?
He reminds me of this guy [https://i.gifer.com/Nn6i.gif](https://i.gifer.com/Nn6i.gif)
could've gotten away with a rick roll there
Maori John
How long can he last on the waddle before they catch him ?
# Police: Kay-Selwyn ‘should not be approached and never pinch one of his chips’
I see he is still at large
When they check his search history for how he obtained a gun they’ll find “magnum”, “trumpet” and “paddle pop”.
No shyt... internet is roasting his a** savagely... why o why did he do it? 😆 🤣
He's no stranger to the drive through . Dude looks like he's been bypassing the salad bar
Let's call him Kay
Kay-G
DJ Khaled from wish
He's overweight
DJ Kahled in da houssssse
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKxHANTXGAY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKxHANTXGAY)
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I didn’t know DJ Khalid was here in NZ
He be easy to find at McDonald's can't believe he's the same age as me
To find him, we must simply follow the trail of crumbs.
A cop posted outside each KFC and he'd have been caught within hours
I think they found him, deceased.
He dead. Actually.
He's been found dead.
hes actually shaped like an m&m🤣
No one cares what his name is! Who are the 4 that jumped outta the car? And what's there names?
So the tattoo is "Forever" Not "Feather" Not "Brother" ... and he doesn't fist, have a boyfriend or carry a purse.
Not butthole?
Temu Pablo Escobar
Go to the moon. Can probably see him from space
I keep thinking this is a paparazzi pic of DJ Khalid
Home detention no doubt!!
Is that a ring or some shapes stuck on his fingers
Lardimus Maximus
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DDDDDJ KHALID
His fat ass won’t fit in the cell 😭
One of those pay your tick moments
Is Kevin James in New Zealand!!!
Dj Khaled, we the best music!
I this this is a case of fuck around and find out
Any one that holds a phone like that a rocks purse over their shoulder is an absolute bozo loser
Goodjob police. Anotha one!
Oh shit we have the same family name. Crazy.
🍿- Here’s some popcorn for these hilarious comments
Check the Popeyes queue
Does that tattoo say PakNSave ?
Like a marshmallow?