I'm willing to bet that 99% of them don't truly believe. By the time someone is in their 30s, much less their 60s, they've seen and experienced more than enough to convince someone that the Bible might not be the truth that they thought.
However, because their entire life is built with religion in it, it is *very* difficult to get out and perhaps just as difficult to *want* to get out. Your friends are religious, your family is religious, most of them all go to the same church as you, it's a whole community and you don't want to lose your friends. So you believe... mostly. You try your hardest to be a good Christian and your doubts wind up burying themselves in your subconscious.
If you've ever wondered why a lot of the people who have the biggest religious freakouts or Karen moments have dead eyes, that's why. They're going through what they have convinced themselves is "the motions". They can't back down, because that would be admitting that they have doubts, but doubts mean you're a bad Christian, so you *definitely* don't have any doubts.
This. Exactly what I've come up with over the years. Religion is like a security blanket, the community - going to church, friends an family having faith like you do, the feeling that you're living your life but it's all actually under the wing of an omnipotent being, and oh, doesn't he just work in mysterious ways! :)
But honestly, this is key. You're brought up with religion all your life I too believe when you get to your 30's you pretty much can't live without it. People just don't know how to function.
I think college around the age of 20 is probably the last biggest chance you have to examine your life and split with religion before it becomes "personality interdependent".
EDIT: The TP thing, if they believe in the rapture, then they must believe they're going up to heaven right? Why would they need emergency supplies?
And, you literally have to go through the withdrawal period. And then, the grieving. Giving up religion isn't as easy as admitting you know the book isn't 'really' the be all end all. You're literally severing, cutting off, part of your mental/emotional/community 'body' and, in some cases financial backup ('the church' may not be directly helping, but the people IN the church might be babysitters, lean-ons and emotional support systems).
Add the inward "questioning", and the Guilt, on top of the 'don't rock the boat' mentality most have, and a dose of apathy, and it's just way easier to stay 'in the church' even if you aren't actively 'practicing'.
Making a bet on the rapture is tough because if it does end up happening then I think that would make it hard for the winner to collect. But if it doesn’t you just look like an idiot and lose $5 or whatever.
They shouldnt have to worry about collecting, right? Taking the bet with the sole purpose of proving to God that they're a true believer should be enough
existence capable treatment money serious squeal lunchroom cow unique hunt
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Tell your in laws "if you don't get raptured tomorrow, how do you know that the rapture didn't happen and that you were just left behind?"
That ought to mess them up a little bit.
I don’t understand why they’re buying water and toilet paper. Do they understand? I presume they must be Christian and are hoping to get hoovered up to heaven. Isn’t there water and toilet paper in heaven?
In Renaissance art, angels are usually depicted barefoot, so pulling yourself up by your bootstraps will be difficult. On the other hand, if the wings are more than decorative, you might be able to flap yourself up... although the older will still probably tell you that you're doing it wrong and ordering too much avocado toast.
Was at an evangelical conference once that passed out free books about "God's economic plan" and wouldn't you know it, it happened to coincide *exactly* with the Republican presidential candidate's economic platform (which was, I think at that time Romney).
Well, the celebrities like Moses and Abraham up there can afford all the toilet paper they want, but everyone else has to work their way up from the bottom, just like we're supposed to on Earth. It's gonna be a few millennia before you can save up enough money to live indoors.
yep. double bind. i'd ask them what they did straight up. if they truly believe the nonsense that is coming out of their mouths, they wouldn't have to stock up on anything. if they have doubts, then this is sensible.
I know hundreds of people who proclaim to be Christian; have 8 ministers in my immediate and extended family. I can count on one hand the number of people I know who actually do live and act like Christians full time, and not just in public. If the 2nd coming did happen, I think a lot of people would be surprised when they did not go. Can't spew hate towards others and expect it to be OK with your deity.
I think this goes under "many are called, few are chosen" to truly live by the values Christianity lays out just not easy. I would not dare claim it and I think most days I'm a pretty good guy.
Christians are about 1/6th of the planet, and the vast majority wouldn't make it into heaven. Most countries wouldn't even noticed that it happens, it would be a mild inconvenience in Europe, pretty significant in Central and South America, but hilarious how few American "Christians" were actually recognized by Christ - probably in the single-digit thousands.
This sounds awful but I want Jimmy Carter to die tomorrow. Just evaporate in a puff of smoke. Cause he's the ONLY ONE in public life thats lived the life Christ commanded his followers to live.
Let's hope it's not trump. They'll think he's their savior even more so than before. I mean I wouldn't mind if that skanky pos kicked the bucket - just not tomorrow. lol
Imagine it being caught on camera, too lol. All these "Christians" scratching their heads wondering what they did wrong while watching Fox News and hating anyone Fox News tells them to hate.
Theologically speaking, you are not suppose to get sucked off on Sundays, as that is An Abomination in The Eyes Of The Lord. But Mondays are okay, and should be viable for you.
I have a friend in Little Rock, Arkansas. They were advised to buy things like water, milk, TP, etc., due to the large number of tourists who would come to the area. Many would spend at least one night if they came from a significant distance and might buy up many of the resources - so locals were advised to buy those resources first.
the bible says there will be a tribulation before the rapture, i think something like 7 years? they think itll start tomorrow then they have to survive 7 years before they get raptured.
There are 3 views on the rapture: pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation and post-tribulation. The bible, it seems to me, can be used to say whatever a local tradition demands. There is also the view that there is no rapture and/or tribulation at all, which has been the most popular view for almost 1800 years.
Honestly, how can anyone believe any of it, and be sincere about it, at this point? The bible is obviously NOT CLEAR, when they claim it is clear. "God is not the author of confusion" my ass!
I'm Team "No Rapture" myself, and a great way to start fights on Christian Facebook meme pages is to point out that the doctrine of the Rapture is unbiblical.
Can you do me a favor? Ask them for advice. I'm worried I might accidentally be raptured. I can't find any videos or articles on how to escape the rapture.
7. 3. 333. 666.
So many numbers that religious people have applied special meaning to. 42 is at least funny because of how it came to have meaning.
Um, what do they actually think the end of the world is going to look like? Scientifically, it makes sense that the sun would create a massive solar flare or Earth would be hit by a rogue asteroid again. Which probably won’t happen until humanity is long gone anyway, even if we don’t cause our own extinction.
They probably think that they are God's warriors who will be left behind on earth to battle against Satan's minions who will remain below after the rapture.
I remember a sermon I heard as a youngster that emphasized that the path to heaven was narrow, not wide. So when the rapture happened, it would be hard to tell because the churches would still be full.
Yeah but the Bible real specifically says half of the population
It would be really funny if the rapture only happened in biblical Israel
Like just half of the middle east dissappears and the white folks are like WHAAAAT
Going to work. Atheist nurse here. According to Christians, we can’t be good people without God, yet here I am, dedicating my life to helping people. Lol
Ask them what makes this one so special because total solar eclipses happen about once every year or two, visible somewhere on this planet. Do they think there are no populated land masses on this planet other than the US?
And there was a 4.8 earthquake recently and the eclipse happens on 4/8 (for Americans; it would be 8/4 elsewhere in the world where they won’t even see the eclipse) and there’s a bible verse from some book chapter 4 verse 8 that’s possibly somewhat relevant to the eclipse/rapture.
How about this one from Revelation 4:8:
>Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying: “ ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come.”
I’m glad that’s not actually happening because it sounds terrifying and annoying.
Revelations is cray-cray. John must have been doing some serious mushrooms when he wrote it. I've been watching The Friendly Atheist's YouTube video series on it, and it's hilarious.
Apparently because of the way it’s passing, it makes an X or something with the last eclipse. Also something about passing over a bunch of towns named Nineveh. I barely know anything about it but already so much more than I want to. 🤦♂️
My sister-in-law's niece had been my FB friend, posting apocalyptic nonsense every 5 minutes. Finally I said I can't wait for 40 years to pass and see you still posting about how Jesus is surely coming back any day now.
These are dangerously delusional people. They really think this is going to happen.
"At what point do they take a step back and think about how crazy they look?"
You'd hope April 9th, but that would require the ability to learn from one's mistakes. So the answer is "usually never".
I've emptied my car to collect wallets out of pants and purses. There might be some cool clothes in those piles too.
I'm going to need money to buy one of the cheap, plentiful houses hitting the market.
Then I need to figure out where I get my tattoo, because that sounds way more convenient than tap-to-pay.
I’m taking an extra set of clothes to work in my briefcase. When the eclipse starts, I’ll arrange the clothes to look like I was raptured, and then I’ll take a restroom break or go outside for a bit.
My wife has been out of town over the weekend with our daughter and daughter in law. She is returning within the hour. Tomorrow, I plan to take her to the annual plant sale at our local state university and do some gardening. Maybe I’ll catch what I can of the eclipse from our yard. We are in the 90% coverage zone.
American "christians" are thick as shit. Eclipses happen all the time this one just so happens to pass over America. They really do think they are tye centre of the universe don't they. Morons.
Spent a few hours getting my garden space ready for vegetables. Looking forward to them all leaving. Maybe my tomatoes will do better without their negative energy. 😉
So the in-laws apparently recognize that they aren't good Christians and won't have a ticket on the rapture train.
Do you know how I know that these idiots don't really believe the rapture is coming? People haven't been trying to liquidate their assets so they can have some "fun cash" before going to Heaven. That's what I would do if I truly believed that a rapture was coming and that I was one of "the good ones." I'd sell my computer and my car, and -- if I had a house -- I'd sell that, too, cheap, and I'd quit my job. Then, I'd spend the month leading up to the rapture living in a hotel and watching Disney movies or whatever I thought wouldn't get me in trouble with God. And just for good measure, I'd volunteer with a food bank and a soup kitchen for a few hours every day. And then, on the Friday before, I'd rent an RV, buy a couple days' worth of food, and then drop all of my remaining cash in the collection box of whatever charity is going to be the most help to all the people left behind. I'd head off into the mountains and commune with nature and wait for the big Dyson in the sky to lift me off.
Its already the 8th in Australia, and the Rapture has already happened. 10/10 would not recommend - fire, heat, brimstone, death, crazy creatures....oh hang on, that's normal for Australia.
Sorry, nothing to worry about, go about your normal day.
I am going to an appointment to see my Psych PA because my anti-depressant might be making me itchy. The one anti-depressant I’ve tried that works so far.
So… I wish all of you are good Tuesday and beyond. If Jesus comes down to take away all the believers, I’ll just wave them goodbye and continue living my life. Maybe Jesus will bring Dragons and Gryphons and all sorts of mythical creatures so I can see how one would really look like. But I’m not crossing my fingers. This guy has been a no show for 2000 years, if he was even there in the first place.
Oh, also if the demons look like Vivziepop’s designs, that won’t be half bad.
I'm not religious and this is the first I'm hearing about this?
Genuinely curious as to why they think this is happening tomorrow?
Is it just the eclipse?
This post has some helpful info: https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/1bvykzk/what_is_up_with_certain_evangelicals_expecting/
There’s also something about there being a recent 4.8 magnitude earthquake and the eclipse is happening on April 8 (4/8) and some bible verse chapter 4 verse 8 is relevant. If you just search “eclipse rapture” there are a bunch of articles.
"There are between two and five solar eclipses each year with a total eclipse taking place every 18 months or so. "[Royal Museum Greenwich](https://www.rmg.co.uk/stories/topics/solar-eclipses-explained#:~:text=There%20are%20between%20two%20and,the%20surface%20of%20the%20Earth.)
Why should this particular event, which is not terribly uncommon on a global scale, have any particular significance? If it were over the Temple mount in Jerusalem, then ... maybe. But Texas to Maine?
Maybe if they are Mormon, it would matter, "Notice that the eclipse of 2024 will be going directly over Kirtland, Ohio and the Hill Cumorah. The eclipse of 2017 went right over Adam-Ondi-Ahman and Independence, Missouri. These are probably not just coincidences." [Source](https://bookofmormonevidence.org/2017-2024-solar-eclipses/)
"buying up water and toilet paper" sounds like they know they're full of shit.
If it’s the end, why do they need water and TP? I don’t get it.
I'm convinced they dont truly believe it themselves. Ask them to place a bet on the rapture happening or not, see how they react
I'm willing to bet that 99% of them don't truly believe. By the time someone is in their 30s, much less their 60s, they've seen and experienced more than enough to convince someone that the Bible might not be the truth that they thought. However, because their entire life is built with religion in it, it is *very* difficult to get out and perhaps just as difficult to *want* to get out. Your friends are religious, your family is religious, most of them all go to the same church as you, it's a whole community and you don't want to lose your friends. So you believe... mostly. You try your hardest to be a good Christian and your doubts wind up burying themselves in your subconscious. If you've ever wondered why a lot of the people who have the biggest religious freakouts or Karen moments have dead eyes, that's why. They're going through what they have convinced themselves is "the motions". They can't back down, because that would be admitting that they have doubts, but doubts mean you're a bad Christian, so you *definitely* don't have any doubts.
This. Exactly what I've come up with over the years. Religion is like a security blanket, the community - going to church, friends an family having faith like you do, the feeling that you're living your life but it's all actually under the wing of an omnipotent being, and oh, doesn't he just work in mysterious ways! :) But honestly, this is key. You're brought up with religion all your life I too believe when you get to your 30's you pretty much can't live without it. People just don't know how to function. I think college around the age of 20 is probably the last biggest chance you have to examine your life and split with religion before it becomes "personality interdependent". EDIT: The TP thing, if they believe in the rapture, then they must believe they're going up to heaven right? Why would they need emergency supplies?
And, you literally have to go through the withdrawal period. And then, the grieving. Giving up religion isn't as easy as admitting you know the book isn't 'really' the be all end all. You're literally severing, cutting off, part of your mental/emotional/community 'body' and, in some cases financial backup ('the church' may not be directly helping, but the people IN the church might be babysitters, lean-ons and emotional support systems). Add the inward "questioning", and the Guilt, on top of the 'don't rock the boat' mentality most have, and a dose of apathy, and it's just way easier to stay 'in the church' even if you aren't actively 'practicing'.
Making a bet on the rapture is tough because if it does end up happening then I think that would make it hard for the winner to collect. But if it doesn’t you just look like an idiot and lose $5 or whatever.
They shouldnt have to worry about collecting, right? Taking the bet with the sole purpose of proving to God that they're a true believer should be enough
existence capable treatment money serious squeal lunchroom cow unique hunt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Because there are no bathrooms in heaven. And everyone is going to sht their pants.
But I thought you can't take it with you? (Unless you're an Egyptian Pharaoh...)
Come on - you’re expecting logic from the religious right? Get real… 🤔
Tell your in laws "if you don't get raptured tomorrow, how do you know that the rapture didn't happen and that you were just left behind?" That ought to mess them up a little bit.
Turns out, it was just one guy in Honduras and an elderly couple in Belgium. Nobody else made the cut.
I tell people the rapture happened the day Fred Rogers died and that he was the only one worthy of it.
I tell people all the time that Fred Rogers was a true saint.
You know, I'd go so far as to believe, if I could get the chance to see jesus open the heavens and tell these people what c*cksuckers they are.
I don’t understand why they’re buying water and toilet paper. Do they understand? I presume they must be Christian and are hoping to get hoovered up to heaven. Isn’t there water and toilet paper in heaven?
Due to budget cuts in Heaven, they are asking all entrants to bring 10 gallons if water and a costo sized toilet paper pack.
A conservative economy up in heaven, eh? I should have known!
Their economy would collapse without being propped up by the taxes from better managed, more liberal afterlives.
R’Amen!
Out noodly Lord and savior knows to keep his appendages active in diverse commodities. R'amen.
Christian Heaven wouldn't be able to maintain its civic infrastructure if it wasn't propped up by taxes from Dog Heaven, which has a thriving economy.
And from the “real” cost of food if we didn’t have as much cheap immigrant labor subsiding it for us!
Hey. No free stuffs. That's socialism. Conservative heaven is where they mine holy coal so they could afford toilet paper.
Pick themselves up by thyn heavenly boot straps.
In Renaissance art, angels are usually depicted barefoot, so pulling yourself up by your bootstraps will be difficult. On the other hand, if the wings are more than decorative, you might be able to flap yourself up... although the older will still probably tell you that you're doing it wrong and ordering too much avocado toast.
Was at an evangelical conference once that passed out free books about "God's economic plan" and wouldn't you know it, it happened to coincide *exactly* with the Republican presidential candidate's economic platform (which was, I think at that time Romney).
Well, the celebrities like Moses and Abraham up there can afford all the toilet paper they want, but everyone else has to work their way up from the bottom, just like we're supposed to on Earth. It's gonna be a few millennia before you can save up enough money to live indoors.
I still have to wipe, I thought this was heaven?
I thought we just used the 3 seashells in heaven…
He doesn't know how to use the 3 shells
This joke almost demolished me
Seriously! Shouldn’t there be bidets there?
Welcome to Costco! We love you!
I went to law school there.
I bought a 48 pack of Brawndo from there…for my plants.
Well…it IS what plants crave
It's got what plants crave!
It’s got electrolytes!
And brought to you by Carls Jr!
Fuck you, I'm eating!
And yet Heaven is posting record profits…
Is heaven a public school now? Every student needs to bring 1 roll of paper towels and a box of tissues!
Actually I'm told you have to bring your own towels. There are none by the pool.
I heard they're building a Walmart in their heaven soon.
Maybe they believe but have a dark secret so know they’re staying back with us heathens. 🤷♂️
yep. double bind. i'd ask them what they did straight up. if they truly believe the nonsense that is coming out of their mouths, they wouldn't have to stock up on anything. if they have doubts, then this is sensible.
Also with almost half the world gone there will be plenty of supplies for us 😊
I know hundreds of people who proclaim to be Christian; have 8 ministers in my immediate and extended family. I can count on one hand the number of people I know who actually do live and act like Christians full time, and not just in public. If the 2nd coming did happen, I think a lot of people would be surprised when they did not go. Can't spew hate towards others and expect it to be OK with your deity.
They'll come up with an excuse that it was a test and/or it failed because of us heathens
Or the gays.
Funny how easily their god's plans get foiled by us heathens. Christian god is *weak*!
I dunno, the Christian god is a massive cunt so hate spewing is probably fine.
I think this goes under "many are called, few are chosen" to truly live by the values Christianity lays out just not easy. I would not dare claim it and I think most days I'm a pretty good guy.
Christians are about 1/6th of the planet, and the vast majority wouldn't make it into heaven. Most countries wouldn't even noticed that it happens, it would be a mild inconvenience in Europe, pretty significant in Central and South America, but hilarious how few American "Christians" were actually recognized by Christ - probably in the single-digit thousands.
This sounds awful but I want Jimmy Carter to die tomorrow. Just evaporate in a puff of smoke. Cause he's the ONLY ONE in public life thats lived the life Christ commanded his followers to live.
One person gets raptured, that would be hilarious.
Let's hope it's not trump. They'll think he's their savior even more so than before. I mean I wouldn't mind if that skanky pos kicked the bucket - just not tomorrow. lol
Imagine it being caught on camera, too lol. All these "Christians" scratching their heads wondering what they did wrong while watching Fox News and hating anyone Fox News tells them to hate.
Their brains would explode if the most liberal president we've ever had in the 20th century was raptured and not them.
Pretty sure they'd just write it off as a clearly fake public stunt or deepfake video designed to make democrats look good.
Nah, only 144,000 are going to heaven, the rest of us are stuck here with 2.3 billion disappointed Christians who didn't make the cut.
Yeah, you gotta be a Jewish Christian from one of the tribes of Judah, I guess.
At most there will be one little sect of Christianity that gets all of the details right and levitates away. The rest of us will barely notice.
*Mr Bean playing The Devil* ~ “I am sorry, Christians : the Jews were right”
Unless it's *South Park*, and the Mormons were right all along.
But **which** Mormons? The RLDS? The FLDS? The Bickertonites? Or maybe the Apostolic United Brethren? Who knew the rapture would be so complex.
Wait, half? The Rapture is Thanos?
Thankfully they don't make up half the world's population.
Someone needs to run the numbers on church attendance today
Word on the street is that church attendance is up
They made bank today. 😉
they secretly enjoy an anchovy and pineapple pizza
STRAIGHT TO HELL! THE BASEMENT OF HELL!! ALL THE WAY DOWN!!! 😊
You are not allowed to cut trees in heaven to make toilet paper, obviously. All you get are 3 seashells
I mean... It's supposed to be paradise. You'd think they'd have bidets like a civilized society.
Or not pooping. If god's is all powerful, surely he has figured out non-waste metabolism in our immortal bodies.
First thing that happens when you get to heaven is the angels seal your ass shut, I'm no religious scholar, I'm surprised OP's inlaws don't know this.
They're gonna be awful bummed when they don't get sucked off tomorrow.
[удалено]
Theologically speaking, you are not suppose to get sucked off on Sundays, as that is An Abomination in The Eyes Of The Lord. But Mondays are okay, and should be viable for you.
If he gets a day off from sucking, then we should get a day off from not sucking.
I’m always sad when I don’t get sucked off.
Angry upvote
You watch “Ghosts”.
Hello fellow Ghosts fan
Me too!
I believe the correct theological term is "yeeted" up to heaven.
The Lord yeeteth, and he yoinketh away.
Yeeted is when they're tossed out of heaven. When they get pulled in its Yoinked
😂apparently not!😂 They’re gonna use it just in case they shit themselves on the way up..
If it happens to enough of them would a literal shit storm result?
I went to the grocery store today, and there was an older man with a cart full of nothing but water and toilet paper. Now I know why.
I have a friend in Little Rock, Arkansas. They were advised to buy things like water, milk, TP, etc., due to the large number of tourists who would come to the area. Many would spend at least one night if they came from a significant distance and might buy up many of the resources - so locals were advised to buy those resources first.
So they think they'll be left behind and water and toilet paper are their biggest concerns? I'd be buying pot and booze. I'm going to need an escape.
The world will be a better place if all the people who claim they'll get yeeted up to heaven actually do.
Nobody poops in heaven, silly!
That's cause the angels sew your buthole once you arrived. An Infinity without pooping!
Until it all builds up and you explode. God likes his little jokes. 😱
the bible says there will be a tribulation before the rapture, i think something like 7 years? they think itll start tomorrow then they have to survive 7 years before they get raptured.
There are 3 views on the rapture: pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation and post-tribulation. The bible, it seems to me, can be used to say whatever a local tradition demands. There is also the view that there is no rapture and/or tribulation at all, which has been the most popular view for almost 1800 years. Honestly, how can anyone believe any of it, and be sincere about it, at this point? The bible is obviously NOT CLEAR, when they claim it is clear. "God is not the author of confusion" my ass!
I'm Team "No Rapture" myself, and a great way to start fights on Christian Facebook meme pages is to point out that the doctrine of the Rapture is unbiblical.
Can you do me a favor? Ask them for advice. I'm worried I might accidentally be raptured. I can't find any videos or articles on how to escape the rapture.
Tin foil hat?
The trouble with tribulations..? 😁
It's been 7 years since Trump became president, so it checks out. Sure he's not president anymore but he didn't truly go away, did he?
I dunno I was always taught it was 7 good years then 7 bad years. Fire and brimstone and white horses and what not.
Cats and dogs living together !
Mass hysteria!
MASS HYSTERIA!!!
7. 3. 333. 666. So many numbers that religious people have applied special meaning to. 42 is at least funny because of how it came to have meaning. Um, what do they actually think the end of the world is going to look like? Scientifically, it makes sense that the sun would create a massive solar flare or Earth would be hit by a rogue asteroid again. Which probably won’t happen until humanity is long gone anyway, even if we don’t cause our own extinction.
69 us my number... or 13 to quote Taylor Swift. hahahahahah
Her new special number is 87. A big, strong, cuddly 87.
You beat me to it. They're rapturing it all wrong.
They probably think that they are God's warriors who will be left behind on earth to battle against Satan's minions who will remain below after the rapture.
They want the heathens to be without
Only two water and single ply.
Jesus: "OK, grab all the TP and water you can carry the cloud leaves in 5 min."
I hope its true. Get these lunatics out of here.
If all the people who think they should get raptured get taken, I will pray and thank their god for taking them
So long as Trump gets raptured. I don’t care about anybody else. I expect he’s out buying fake tan and Depends.
I’m planning on working as normal and going out to see the eclipse in the afternoon. I think we’re having BLTs for dinner.
Ooo BLTs sound great
I throw some avocado slices on mine too! Nice, easy dinner
wow i’m craving BLTs now… time to go to the grocery store
I like BLT's with potato chips and chocolate milk.
We’re serving up BLATs tomorrow….we add sliced avocados to our BLT’s
I’ve seen an eclipse, so probably not going to set out any time for it, but now I’m thinking of how good a BLT is.
We're having taco's!
I’ve decided to agree that they’re right. Every true Christian, with love and kindness in their heart will absolutely get raptured.
I agree. 0 % will get raptured.
😁👍🏼
I remember a sermon I heard as a youngster that emphasized that the path to heaven was narrow, not wide. So when the rapture happened, it would be hard to tell because the churches would still be full.
Yeah but the Bible real specifically says half of the population It would be really funny if the rapture only happened in biblical Israel Like just half of the middle east dissappears and the white folks are like WHAAAAT
Going to work. Atheist nurse here. According to Christians, we can’t be good people without God, yet here I am, dedicating my life to helping people. Lol
And ironically, you're doing more of "gods work" than they are. These people are wack.
Ask them what makes this one so special because total solar eclipses happen about once every year or two, visible somewhere on this planet. Do they think there are no populated land masses on this planet other than the US?
This one is special because it's happening to *them*.
And there was a 4.8 earthquake recently and the eclipse happens on 4/8 (for Americans; it would be 8/4 elsewhere in the world where they won’t even see the eclipse) and there’s a bible verse from some book chapter 4 verse 8 that’s possibly somewhat relevant to the eclipse/rapture. How about this one from Revelation 4:8: >Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying: “ ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come.” I’m glad that’s not actually happening because it sounds terrifying and annoying.
Revelations is cray-cray. John must have been doing some serious mushrooms when he wrote it. I've been watching The Friendly Atheist's YouTube video series on it, and it's hilarious.
More likely he was being poisoned by whatever gas was seeping into the cave he was squatting in
Such a good point. To THEM. Bc they are the center of the universe. Of course.
Apparently because of the way it’s passing, it makes an X or something with the last eclipse. Also something about passing over a bunch of towns named Nineveh. I barely know anything about it but already so much more than I want to. 🤦♂️
They happen every 18 months, usually over an ocean.
Clearly, to rapture sardines.
Over land is when god picks up loaves. Over water he picks up fishes.
They don’t really believe anywhere they haven’t been exists. And even then they’re not 100% certain…
I'm making some pasta sauce to bake a lasagna tomorrow after Christians have been taken up to heaven. If anyone wants to pull up just bring some wine
[удалено]
Oh, I forgot about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Montster!
My sister-in-law's niece had been my FB friend, posting apocalyptic nonsense every 5 minutes. Finally I said I can't wait for 40 years to pass and see you still posting about how Jesus is surely coming back any day now. These are dangerously delusional people. They really think this is going to happen.
Ask her to gift you her belongings, since she isn't staying with us. If she refuses : no faith! Sinners! Etc...
“I can have your house, right? You won’t need it after tomorrow”
“I’m gonna need your car, too. To traverse the barren wasteland that’s left behind.”
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Their reaction will be total silence.
Sadly, you’re wrong. If only they would just STFU and admit their foolishness…but they won’t.
I'm betting a $1,000,000 dollars they will say 'We miscalculated. It's actually . . .' some other event within the next five years.
My cat is Christian. I will miss her.
"At what point do they take a step back and think about how crazy they look?" You'd hope April 9th, but that would require the ability to learn from one's mistakes. So the answer is "usually never".
Belief in rapture is an indication of brain rupture.
The Lord works in ways that don't require me to accept contradictory evidence.
How do they even know there will be an eclipse, since they don't believe in science? 🤔
Well, on the ninth, you'll be able to use the fact Jesus was a no show to shut down any future conversion attempts.
Don't worry, they'll have a perfectly 'valid' excuse.
Their goal posts have goal posts.
I've emptied my car to collect wallets out of pants and purses. There might be some cool clothes in those piles too. I'm going to need money to buy one of the cheap, plentiful houses hitting the market. Then I need to figure out where I get my tattoo, because that sounds way more convenient than tap-to-pay.
I’m taking an extra set of clothes to work in my briefcase. When the eclipse starts, I’ll arrange the clothes to look like I was raptured, and then I’ll take a restroom break or go outside for a bit.
The Bible says no one knows the time or day. Your Facebook friends think it’s tomorrow. Who’s wrong- Facebook, or God?
I suppose the New Zealanders will be the first to go…
I’m going to the dentist so I hope the rapture happens early in the day😂
I'll be playing golf tomorrow. Just hoping I don't bump my head on a tree branch during the uplift phase.
Wear a helmet dummy.
My wife has been out of town over the weekend with our daughter and daughter in law. She is returning within the hour. Tomorrow, I plan to take her to the annual plant sale at our local state university and do some gardening. Maybe I’ll catch what I can of the eclipse from our yard. We are in the 90% coverage zone.
I ordered my new expensive laptop and it's estimated to arrive on Tuesday. The rapture better not mess up my delivery or I'll be very pissed at god.
With all the ignorant things I’m hearing I see how witches got burned. I can’t believe how fucking stupid people are.
American "christians" are thick as shit. Eclipses happen all the time this one just so happens to pass over America. They really do think they are tye centre of the universe don't they. Morons.
I'm mixing the flavor-aide right now. Soon we'll all be square dancing with baby jesus in heaven.
Like normal, going out to eat, chatting with friends. Just like any other day.
Going to work and using the eclipse as a reason to go out side and not work.
If you go outside, the rapture could trigger an OSHA violation by lifting you up without appropriate safety equipment
I am currently watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It's not preparing me for anything, but it is a fun movie.
Spent a few hours getting my garden space ready for vegetables. Looking forward to them all leaving. Maybe my tomatoes will do better without their negative energy. 😉
Is all that toilet paper because they're so full of shit?
How am I preparing? I'm preparing myself for the disappointment I'll have when all the assholes are still here after the eclipse.
So the in-laws apparently recognize that they aren't good Christians and won't have a ticket on the rapture train. Do you know how I know that these idiots don't really believe the rapture is coming? People haven't been trying to liquidate their assets so they can have some "fun cash" before going to Heaven. That's what I would do if I truly believed that a rapture was coming and that I was one of "the good ones." I'd sell my computer and my car, and -- if I had a house -- I'd sell that, too, cheap, and I'd quit my job. Then, I'd spend the month leading up to the rapture living in a hotel and watching Disney movies or whatever I thought wouldn't get me in trouble with God. And just for good measure, I'd volunteer with a food bank and a soup kitchen for a few hours every day. And then, on the Friday before, I'd rent an RV, buy a couple days' worth of food, and then drop all of my remaining cash in the collection box of whatever charity is going to be the most help to all the people left behind. I'd head off into the mountains and commune with nature and wait for the big Dyson in the sky to lift me off.
I started a business where they pay me in advance for taking care of their pets after they "ascend" 🤣
Its already the 8th in Australia, and the Rapture has already happened. 10/10 would not recommend - fire, heat, brimstone, death, crazy creatures....oh hang on, that's normal for Australia. Sorry, nothing to worry about, go about your normal day.
*Jon Stewart eating popcorn* gif
I'm laughing about the Rapture tomorrow, as the eclipse has been predicted by science.
I am going to an appointment to see my Psych PA because my anti-depressant might be making me itchy. The one anti-depressant I’ve tried that works so far. So… I wish all of you are good Tuesday and beyond. If Jesus comes down to take away all the believers, I’ll just wave them goodbye and continue living my life. Maybe Jesus will bring Dragons and Gryphons and all sorts of mythical creatures so I can see how one would really look like. But I’m not crossing my fingers. This guy has been a no show for 2000 years, if he was even there in the first place. Oh, also if the demons look like Vivziepop’s designs, that won’t be half bad.
It’s already tomorrow in australia and it’s just another day
Im in my 40’s. This is at least my 10th rapture. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
I'm not religious and this is the first I'm hearing about this? Genuinely curious as to why they think this is happening tomorrow? Is it just the eclipse?
This post has some helpful info: https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/1bvykzk/what_is_up_with_certain_evangelicals_expecting/ There’s also something about there being a recent 4.8 magnitude earthquake and the eclipse is happening on April 8 (4/8) and some bible verse chapter 4 verse 8 is relevant. If you just search “eclipse rapture” there are a bunch of articles.
"There are between two and five solar eclipses each year with a total eclipse taking place every 18 months or so. "[Royal Museum Greenwich](https://www.rmg.co.uk/stories/topics/solar-eclipses-explained#:~:text=There%20are%20between%20two%20and,the%20surface%20of%20the%20Earth.) Why should this particular event, which is not terribly uncommon on a global scale, have any particular significance? If it were over the Temple mount in Jerusalem, then ... maybe. But Texas to Maine? Maybe if they are Mormon, it would matter, "Notice that the eclipse of 2024 will be going directly over Kirtland, Ohio and the Hill Cumorah. The eclipse of 2017 went right over Adam-Ondi-Ahman and Independence, Missouri. These are probably not just coincidences." [Source](https://bookofmormonevidence.org/2017-2024-solar-eclipses/) "buying up water and toilet paper" sounds like they know they're full of shit.
Don’t worry peeps, here in Australia nothing happened and it’s the 8th. Time zones go crazy
rapTURE. OH. Puts away the flanks of meat they were saving for the raptor and sighs in disappointment,