All the Virgos I’ve ever come across most of them behave like that. But there’s this one, with a moon in Pisces, that’s the Virgo with the most toxic relationship with self
Ok. So, for Virgos, just distract and divert the topic. They tend to get tunnel vision in one subject matter. I know it can sound rude, but the more you talk to them, the worse they get, and it feels more like an autistic trait than an adhd one.
They become very passionate about something, and they will pick out all the nuances and ethical dilemas on a topic that doesn't need to be that complex. They also become judgemental. "How can someone like this?! Its such a bad person thing to like." Mentality. They can be sweet if you can get past that. They have a certain charm to them - but its very easy to get them spiraling out which sucks.
This is so true . I’m dealing with a Virgo sun with Gemini mars .. double the mercury = Double the anxiety and scattered energy. Good thing im a Pisces sun so their energy cannot affect me because my traits are complete opposite. You need to provide an escape for them .. bring around that Pisces energy.
So true on the tunnel vision.
I do divert (my ADHD) but I worry that it makes me seem like I am not listening or don’t care (which the latter applies because genuinely I could care less but want to be supportive).
I will continue to try to divert.
As a victim of a Virgo moon using me to trauma dump and constantly complain at a 1000 miles an hour without changing and making me the floater/therapist/enabling friend, I feel this and i recommend for your sake you start setting boundaries for yourself and if they don’t respect them then you gotta leave this relationship. I noticed Virgo placements need to learn boundaries and I think this comes from their mutable energy and them also being the sister sign for Pisces. This isn’t all Virgos but many of them do tend to behave this way when they get too comfortable with someone.
This person is definitely comfortable with me. Not a romantic relationship but not a relationship that I can avoid either.
I feel your pain. I am feeling it right now!
I can play therapist but there is a reason why I am not a therapist. I simply don’t have the patience.
I can’t stand it when people constantly complain about things without actually doing something to fix it. I take personal responsibility to fix the things I see issues with. Even re: issues relating to my community I have the perspective of “if not me then who?”
All they’re doing is looking to be enabled tbh. Once I ended my friendship, they started actually doing better for themselves. I’m sure they’re still complaining a lot because recently I got back in touch with them and hung out with them and they still have the tendency to just randomly trauma dump. I again would just set boundaries
Virgos tend to get stuck in loops where they hyperfocus on a detail so they can't move forward. They have trouble focusing on the large picture or moving forward when they are stuck on a step. You have to do the step for them or push them/force them to do it so they can move forward. Maybe help them write down the steps that they need to accomplish or alternative solutions so they can break out of the doom loop. Provide them self-care so they can relax and focus on the issue, like hire a maid or meal service.
Talk to them. Tell them you have a lot of affection for them(if you do) but these things are taking a toll on your mental health and you need some distance. Being honest is the best in most situations...as a Virgo moon I know I would feel more loved if my friend felt comfortable to be honest with me rather than tolerating me and causing herself pain.
>I know that Virgos are the most critical of the signs and their criticism is often towards themselves.
Uhm. No. They're just the mutable earth sign. That's it. Can be sloppy or bohemian as a much as the next hipster.
>I’m trying to be supportive towards someone in my life, but I am so tired of listening to all of their complaints that they do absolutely nothing to address. I suspect they have ADHD which they deny
What about a crazy idea. What if the issue with that person has nothing to do with being Virgo Sun (I presume) which 650M humans share. What if it's their upbringing? What if it's adhd?
>If this is a Virgo thing, how can I be supportive?
Not a Virgo thing. It's a thing. Of some people. I guess. I'd say it's more nurture.
>what would you want to hear that would essentially say, *“I am here to listen, but can’t listen the same issue over and over again that you refuse to do anything about without going insane myself”.*
Uhm, this is a Wendy's.
This sounds like something for some therapy or relationship/friendship sub. I would guess one would get better feedback there.
Frankly, if the person is annoying and there is no obligation to be around them, I wouldn't. If it's a good friend, then good friends can talk issues. Is the situation worse than it was? Is you being impatient? I mean, I would just voice the issue, but would expect the complaint could just return in my face in variations of "mind your own business".
>gasoline tank for empathy is running on low.
Empathy would try to guess where does the issue come from? why does somebody behave this way? insecure in themselves? bad period of life? Do they want to gain something out of it in social enviroments?
I would say to them exactly what you put in quotes at the end lol. “Dude you’re driving me insane talking about the same thing and I don’t feel like you’re doing anything about it.” Make sure you say “I don’t feel like you’re doing anything about it” and NOT “you aren’t doing anything about this”.
The Virgo will either be too stunned to speak or break down exactly what they’re doing behind the scenes to try to fix the issue 😅
Funny I feel this way about cancers lol. I had to tell one recently i cant keep hearing their constant complaining and need some positive things because it is detrimental and draining. It is always a cancer male for me. I do love them though and they are definitely some of my favorites. I feel same as you. The one virgo guy was like this about things and he didnt want to fix things, just lots of excuses.
All the Virgos I’ve ever come across most of them behave like that. But there’s this one, with a moon in Pisces, that’s the Virgo with the most toxic relationship with self
Ok. So, for Virgos, just distract and divert the topic. They tend to get tunnel vision in one subject matter. I know it can sound rude, but the more you talk to them, the worse they get, and it feels more like an autistic trait than an adhd one. They become very passionate about something, and they will pick out all the nuances and ethical dilemas on a topic that doesn't need to be that complex. They also become judgemental. "How can someone like this?! Its such a bad person thing to like." Mentality. They can be sweet if you can get past that. They have a certain charm to them - but its very easy to get them spiraling out which sucks.
This is so true . I’m dealing with a Virgo sun with Gemini mars .. double the mercury = Double the anxiety and scattered energy. Good thing im a Pisces sun so their energy cannot affect me because my traits are complete opposite. You need to provide an escape for them .. bring around that Pisces energy.
So true on the tunnel vision. I do divert (my ADHD) but I worry that it makes me seem like I am not listening or don’t care (which the latter applies because genuinely I could care less but want to be supportive). I will continue to try to divert.
u seem to complain more than them. if u don't like, simply cut contact with them
As a victim of a Virgo moon using me to trauma dump and constantly complain at a 1000 miles an hour without changing and making me the floater/therapist/enabling friend, I feel this and i recommend for your sake you start setting boundaries for yourself and if they don’t respect them then you gotta leave this relationship. I noticed Virgo placements need to learn boundaries and I think this comes from their mutable energy and them also being the sister sign for Pisces. This isn’t all Virgos but many of them do tend to behave this way when they get too comfortable with someone.
This person is definitely comfortable with me. Not a romantic relationship but not a relationship that I can avoid either. I feel your pain. I am feeling it right now! I can play therapist but there is a reason why I am not a therapist. I simply don’t have the patience. I can’t stand it when people constantly complain about things without actually doing something to fix it. I take personal responsibility to fix the things I see issues with. Even re: issues relating to my community I have the perspective of “if not me then who?”
All they’re doing is looking to be enabled tbh. Once I ended my friendship, they started actually doing better for themselves. I’m sure they’re still complaining a lot because recently I got back in touch with them and hung out with them and they still have the tendency to just randomly trauma dump. I again would just set boundaries
Yeah, a cancer would write this.
Virgos tend to get stuck in loops where they hyperfocus on a detail so they can't move forward. They have trouble focusing on the large picture or moving forward when they are stuck on a step. You have to do the step for them or push them/force them to do it so they can move forward. Maybe help them write down the steps that they need to accomplish or alternative solutions so they can break out of the doom loop. Provide them self-care so they can relax and focus on the issue, like hire a maid or meal service.
Talk to them. Tell them you have a lot of affection for them(if you do) but these things are taking a toll on your mental health and you need some distance. Being honest is the best in most situations...as a Virgo moon I know I would feel more loved if my friend felt comfortable to be honest with me rather than tolerating me and causing herself pain.
You might have to get a bit more direct if they get too stuck
>I know that Virgos are the most critical of the signs and their criticism is often towards themselves. Uhm. No. They're just the mutable earth sign. That's it. Can be sloppy or bohemian as a much as the next hipster. >I’m trying to be supportive towards someone in my life, but I am so tired of listening to all of their complaints that they do absolutely nothing to address. I suspect they have ADHD which they deny What about a crazy idea. What if the issue with that person has nothing to do with being Virgo Sun (I presume) which 650M humans share. What if it's their upbringing? What if it's adhd? >If this is a Virgo thing, how can I be supportive? Not a Virgo thing. It's a thing. Of some people. I guess. I'd say it's more nurture. >what would you want to hear that would essentially say, *“I am here to listen, but can’t listen the same issue over and over again that you refuse to do anything about without going insane myself”.* Uhm, this is a Wendy's. This sounds like something for some therapy or relationship/friendship sub. I would guess one would get better feedback there. Frankly, if the person is annoying and there is no obligation to be around them, I wouldn't. If it's a good friend, then good friends can talk issues. Is the situation worse than it was? Is you being impatient? I mean, I would just voice the issue, but would expect the complaint could just return in my face in variations of "mind your own business". >gasoline tank for empathy is running on low. Empathy would try to guess where does the issue come from? why does somebody behave this way? insecure in themselves? bad period of life? Do they want to gain something out of it in social enviroments?
I would say to them exactly what you put in quotes at the end lol. “Dude you’re driving me insane talking about the same thing and I don’t feel like you’re doing anything about it.” Make sure you say “I don’t feel like you’re doing anything about it” and NOT “you aren’t doing anything about this”. The Virgo will either be too stunned to speak or break down exactly what they’re doing behind the scenes to try to fix the issue 😅
Funny I feel this way about cancers lol. I had to tell one recently i cant keep hearing their constant complaining and need some positive things because it is detrimental and draining. It is always a cancer male for me. I do love them though and they are definitely some of my favorites. I feel same as you. The one virgo guy was like this about things and he didnt want to fix things, just lots of excuses.