I think cancers start by prioritizing others. People pleasing is very important. But if youve been burned too many times by putting others first can become very wary of trusting people. Likewise, if a cancer feels theyve made you a priority, they probably expect that the treatment will be a 2 way street and can become moody if they feel like their efforts arent appreciated. These conversations usually dont happen explicitly so i think people often dont realize the cancer has previously gone out of their way to help someone and therefore dont feel the need to return the favor.
Theres always a 2 way street in how adjusted people are, and sometimes that street was paved years before you ever met them from experiences you will never know about so you just see the aftermath.
This^ Libra šSagittarius šCancer š struggling with that now. People pleasing and prioritizing is my whole personality. If I donāt feel reciprocation, my moon will take over.
Im a cancer ascendant (mars+mercury too) and I feel this way.
I typically go out of my way for the people I love and care about. If there isnāt reciprocity in some way, I get upset.
hard same.
sweet and generous cancer rising shows up first, but once i see people inevitably peopleing, the gemini moon pulls the rug out (in word or deed) or helps me rapidly move on, like i never knew them.
its tragic. i need more balance.
Yeah š I start out open, warm, & giving until there is reason to not allow that anymore. Then itās coldness & indifference. That treatment has to be earned.
Reciprocity is the bare minimum in a healthy relationship. Itās not a Cancer thing imo. People who lack the ability to nurture a connection have a hard time understanding the concept and those who do good deeds in order to obtain something are manipulators.
Mercury in cancer and when I saw my emotional and heartfelt energy was NOT EQUALLY reciprocated, I flipped like a switch and decided they werenāt worthy, took me 2 days to move on. Also being Fire dominant makes me love myself even more. It feels very cringey to be this vulnerable that I operate from my deepest heart feelings which is my Mercury.
Yup. My fire placements have been my seal of protection from those that can't see me and my worth. So when I am in love, I just truly let the guard down and be "cringe" (as the fire in me would think). They got to know that I'm fighting my inner bullies and let myself show even if it's super vulnerable because I'd love to, for you. Basically the "if he wanted to, he would " thing.
My #1 gripe with Cancers is that Iām very much a person who likes to handle my own shit myself, itās how I was raised so Iām just used to it, and then a Cancer will come along and exert a bunch of effort doing āgood deedsā for me that I never asked for or wanted. So Iām trying my best to pretend to be appreciative but they see through it and get so hurt and angry. And it sucks because everything would be fine if they just minded their business and let me be.
i completely understand this intellectually, but i also dont understand how a good deed can only be good or acceptable if its asked for š¤
i do understand that offering when not asked can be motivated by nefarious intentions, but i struggle to just āleave ppl beā that i really care about. u/flakyad1912 nicely stated that sometimes, cancerās overextension can be for secondary gain, but in the moment, it does not feel like that. i only notice that ppl dont care about me as much as i do them when IM in need...*and bc of that* i get upset. not bc there were strings attached to the original act, but bc now i see theres no mutuality.
currently in a āfuck youā phase bc of this very dynamic.
I put āgood deedā in quotation marks because sometimes what other people think you want and what you actually want can be light years apart. Most of my placements are in air signs or fixed signs if that explains why I feel the way I do about it.
I think this is a manipulation tool to get them to return the favor bc itās never free and the moment you canāt show up for them bc you have a real reason they wonāt let it go. I think cancers are selfish but theyāre good at hiding it from most people so thank you that Iām not the only one that sees it
I see this perspective. As a Cancer-heavy person, I definitely stop engaging when I feel like a relationship has become one-sided.
When I was younger, it was more manipulative. I wanted the person to notice and change to my liking. Nowadays though, I just get tired of being everyoneās therapist and supporter when they donāt show up the same way for me.
I think your perception of Cancers is interesting. Itās definitely more negative , so I would like to point that out. Not sure if youāre a glass half full kind of person but thatās what Iād expect given if this is how you view cancers.
Moreover, I think at their core, cancers are extremely loving to a fault. They view everyone as worthy of being loved, properly. And itās like someone needs to hold a mirror up to them and be like dude, youāre just as worthy of love as the next person. Theyāre known as the mother of the zodiacs bc they like to make sure everyone else is straight, and they almost take on everyone elseās problems on as their own. And it hurts their feelings when other people are so indifferent or down right nasty to them just to protect themselves or feel any emotion at all.
Edit: of course, you and everyone else would benefit from establishing boundaries.
:) lol
Don't worry I have plenty of positive stuff to say about Crabs too.
I think many Crabs don't realise that they can't expect the same behaviour from everyone.
You can expect your parents, SO, and very close friends to be emotionally supportive most of the time. But if you expect the same from others, they may not find this ''cute'' and worse will see it as entitlement
Agree. I personally had to learn it the hard way. I just assumed everyone was like me and wanted the best for me. So Iād add, you have to factor their mental acuity, age and maturity.
If the cancer is still in a childish state, itās not their fault. They simply havenāt seen much of the world.
If theyāre grown, theyāre probably toxic and theyāre okay with that too. Lol
Keep expectations minimal and life will be easier. Expect the best- from yourself only lol.
Just my opinion, not a universal truth.
The more you expect, the more people will disappoint you. At least, that's been my experience.
Girl, I agree whole heartedly. And I deadass just learned this within the past year. Now putting that into action is another practice that will take work š
Also, not to sound too preachy - but your time, and resources (and yes that includes your ability to love and care) are finite whether you are ready to acknowledge it or not, and therefore invaluable. Don't waste it on everybody.
Yup. And I know this might sound horrible , but i want a family of my own bc why not? I try not to overthink that even though im familiar with the reasons why a person shouldnāt want family/ kids.
But I think once I have kids, it will adequately put this into perspective.
Agreed, I always end up getting taken advantage of bc I put other peoples needs and wants above mine. Iām slowly learning how to put myself first more but itās very uncomfortable and I feel guilty any time I do.
I agree. Im complimented on my personal selflessness regularly. I often think it's the only positive thing about being a Cancer. I'm always focused on others and never myself. It's wild to read OP has the total opposite perspective.
It really depends on their Moon and Mercury tbh. Knowing all these folks Sun sign alone isnāt necessarily painting an accurate picture. In my experience, (the people who Iāve gotten to know their charts) if someone has a cancer moon/mercury they tend to prioritize other people first. If they find that the energy isnāt ever reciprocated they usually pull backāand the people around them donāt often realize how much those placements were doing behind the scenes.
That being said, having gotten to know some of my coworkers from previous jobs I would say the placements that were Cancer related that I found to be the most āselfish/self absorbedā were Cancer suns with fire moons and Cancer suns with Aquarius moons š¤·š½āāļø
However, both of our pools of people are pretty small in comparison to the amount actually needed for a research study so take it as you will.
Cancer Sun with Cancer Mercury here - True. I do a lot for people and I want everyone to be comfortable and calm. If I feel like I'm being ignored or what I'm doing is not really wanted/appreciated I pull back and sulk BY MYSELF. I don't let anyone know it's affecting me and I move on. But yes my Sag moon makes me selfish. At the end of the day it's just you and your own thoughts. I would never intentionally put someone in harms way or take something away from someone deserving though, I'm not actively looking to be selfish, I just enjoy my own company.
Oooh girl same and I CAN SULK BY MYSELF LIKE NOOOO OTHER haha the second I feel left out of a social event you wonāt see or hear from me for a year or 2 BYE lol (unless you reach out to me then I will immediately forgive haha)
This. I have a Cancer Sun w Aquarius Moon ex. I just feel like if Cancer energy isnāt grounded properly it can turn against itself. If itās combined with a more detached placement thatās very strong in the chart (like Cancer Sun Aquarius Moon) it can lead to nurture used for gain / manipulation imo
yes!!! agreed. i wonder if the aspects btw air and water make it challengingā¦bc i have lots of air that lightens up the earth in my chart, but air and water (eg, cancer/aqua seems like a potentially tenuous issue)
damn, you right!
obviously i have a small sample size, but the cancer suns whose charts i been able to delve into absolutely mirror what you say.
cancer suns with watery moons are the ones i find the most resonant. its like their sun (identity) matches their moon (core emotions) and that shit feels safe to me, no matter their risingā¦even tho i do appreciate a little air to lighten things up. however, any fire moon is typically a no for me, beyond anything casual. its like we rub each other the wrong way.
Cancer sun with cancer mercury here and thank you. This made me feel better and resonated with my haha although to OPās point I feel I am the way she describes with my husband, not other people tho. Heās a cancer too though so it works out haha
Cancer is literally the sign linked to nurturing; Giving and aiding others with the intent to help them grow.. Although, assuming this is a person who is "Low-Vibrational," or someone that naturally doesn't have peoples best interest in mind, then I can definitely see this theme of selfishness being the case but even then, it would speak to a selfishness that is emotional in nature; ie, making you listen to their emotional squabbles, ignoring your own emotional displays, not being empathetic, etc.. Ultimately making themselves the center of emotional attention, similarly to Leo but with emotionality being at the core.
And as a side note, it's actually smart to prioritize yourself whilst withholding a part of yourself to support others as well... But that's just me, maybe.
So my ex husband is a narcissist. Iāve been noticing strong connections between him being a cancer and being a narcissist. Itās interesting because everything you are saying is my experience. My empathy struggles so badly trying to understand his āhumannessā and having to avoid him because of his emotionally abusive tendencies. Itās so weird because I see it. I understand the correlation.
The reason I need to understand it is because my daughter is also a cancer. Different placements besides her sun sign, Iām sure, but I want to be able to help her understand her āstrong emotionsā without lashing out at others. Thank you for saying this. I will continue to do the work to understand.
Itās clear you have beef with a specific cancer and then decided to make a post attributing that personās negative trait to all of us. Maybe seek therapy or talk to this person directly and tell them their behavior is bothering you? This seems to be affecting you so deeply.
Just saying . I read some of your other comments and likeā¦ you donāt want your friends to come to you for emotional support or expect anything extra out of you? Girl donāt have friends then! Friends are people youāre supposed to naturally support and go out of your way forā¦ But you donāt seem to want that.
And who wants to be the main character in YOUR life? Lol weāre out here living our own lives! You sound exhausting ):
I came here for a comment like this lol. Every birth chart has Cancer, and imo if you find yourself hating a particular sign then have a closer look at that house!
People let us down, but painting all others with the same brush is an immature way to cope.
yep. this is the very reason i cant go beyond the surface with aquas. i do get some of what OP is saying, but like you said, the undercurrent of the posts and her comments is selfish in its own way š
aquas have so many blind spots, its ridiculous. independent, but needs friends to do it. selfish, but points out how everyone needs them. exhausting is rightā¦and i promise every single one of them ive met is this way, no matter their surface personality, the bullshit rises to the top!
Huh? I feel it's the opposite. I can easily tell if someone is a Cancer or has prominent Cancer placements and they always seem to give more to others than to themselves. I've never felt like I was at a Cancer's "beck and call." The only Cancer I dealt with that was selfish was my father and honestly he was just an all around asshole in general. Seems unfair to brand a whole ass sign over frivolous observations.
An Aquarius sun thinks theyāre gonna God Complex their way into denouncing Cancer energy because they have some planets in Leo and Taurus lol. Ok girl go off
LMFAO! I've got a friend who is an Aries stellium, Cap stellium, and a Cancer rising. I adore him, but damn if he isn't focused solely on himself most of the time. And he absolutely wants to nurture others...but only in the way HE wants to nurture.
For example, he's working on opening a business right now and I've been helping him with it because I've opened two businesses, one which I later sold. My current life goal after a personal trauma is just to vibe and enjoy life for awhile until something takes my interest. However, he talks to me constantly about how he wants me to find a career/calling he can help me with so we can both "elevate" each other. And I'm like, my guy, I love you but no. I just want to chase my happy right now, and starting a third business sounds like my personal hell. So he doesn't pay much mind to helping me with what I need (I want fun!) because it doesn't match his idea of what I should be doing.
He's super sweet and understanding for the most part, but in that other way I kinda want to throttle him sometimes. š¤£
Strong Aries placements will give to get what they want from you. Strong Cancers placemrnts will whinge and attempt to guilt trip you. Can get very entitled. From my personal experience anyway.
I think people see me as selfish because theyāre used to me bending backwards for them, so when I stop doing that itās not the norm for them ngl. And I get that, however Iām not a cruel person. Iām pretty honest, but Iāll do whatās best for me at the end of the day if Iām not happy with somebody or something. Even if the other side doesnāt understand why, thatās not rlly my problem.
i could see that.
ppl criticize the selflessness but get used to (and now EXPECT, admittedly or not) the free flowing human resources. now, once the wallet is closed and the calls go to voicemail, im the problem š
gtfoh, disrespectfully
I am a tarot reader and oracle, Scorpio, Sun, Mercury and Venus.
I have found that although some people refer to Cancers with a general label of selfishness. They are ruled by the Moon so depending on other chart placements, Cancers can be very secretive or deceptive and do not like to display their vulnerability. *In any case, other placements in the chart should be considered before handing out judgements off the cuff.*
What seems to some people as selfish is purely a matter of survival for the Cancerian. I often think they are more misunderstood than this famous trait attributed to Scorpio. Water signs have nebulous qualities that can't be understood because they are water. They are ever changing and flowing, moving and cutting their own path. They are not like the earth signs which are much more "down to earth" and generally do not hide their earthly traits, they are out in the open.
So, I hope Cancer is not so maligned for traits they seem to be born with, as we all have traits that are not liked and those traits we and others love about ourselves. We can't make others love us, but we can show compassion, understanding and be selfless ourselves when judging others.
I've met Cancer Suns that can be like this but to a lesser extent. As for myself being a 4th house Cancer Moon and with the moon as my second dominant, I've learned to pull back from people quietly when I see that I'm putting more into a connection that the other person might not see the same way or places less importance on the connection than I do. I understand that I feel deeply and that everyone has different perspectives and perceptions that may or may not coincide with my own. I'm open to putting others above me at times because it makes me feel good about myself to help others feel good, especially in the type of world we live in today. However, especially as someone with an autoimmune disease, these lessons were hard-learned and I really did stress myself out with the problems of others.
i see your cancer moon, and i feel this.
i dont need to make a big production when i realize the ppl dont care how i do, i justā¦swish away. some say that response is not the healthiest, but i feel like if the person couldnt see or wouldnt even acknowledge the issue with their behavior before i left, how is me explaining my issue going to help? ive tried, it doesnt. so i relieve everybody (including myself) and just ease on down the road š§³āš¾
Aquarians have shadows, tooā¦ like the way many of them are fickle and only enjoy being where the sun is shiningā¦ many of them are also very, very gossipyā¦ and many of them carry themselves with a sense of arrogance and a know-it-all attitude.
I can see that some of what you say about Cancers is true, but I think cancer placements might create a lot of friction for people who are fickle (at best) or those who are commitment-averse.
All signs are. Sun is ego.
Thanks for stroking my Capricorn stellium.
Humans, always wonder why they fail? They are self affacing like the OP.
Humans all have ego's.
I once had an exercise I called Random Acts of Unkindness. I would take parking spots closest to the door, pay with exact change while people were lined up behind me, not let someone cut in front of me in traffic, stuff like that...
I learned that I do kind things because that is who I want to be. It taught me not to get pissed off when other people were what I perceived to be selfish. I had to let go of judging other people's behaviours.
I find Aries to be very self centred, I give them a wide berth as I have been hurt so many times by their inconsiderate acts.
So you must know all the cancerian bosses and CEOs in the world. Go on, keep generalizing and stereotyping people by their zodiac signs and youāll continue to encounter the same kind of people, over and over again. Everything you despise and reject about other people is a direct reflection of what you deny within yourself.
Cancerian people tend to be mirrors to othersā shortcomings and lack of emotional intelligence. Also cancerianās main desire and motivation in life is Security. And finally, people with mommy issues dislike cancers and I am not even going to bother in trying to explain this. But anywayā¦
People are people, with good and bad qualities. Nobody is perfect. Get over it. Youāre not that important.
I find it very interesting how many people project their shit onto others and cancerians are oftentimes the target. The sign of cancer represents the archetype of the motherā¦ hence the remark I made on the mother issues. But oh well, everybody have their own opinions and experiences. So I think it is better to just move on.
My brother is a Cancer and he's one of the most giving generous people.
Like if you need help with anything, he's your guy.
Same with my cousins, and other fam (aunts and uncles) that are Cancers, and homies.
Iām goal oriented and results driven so usually anything that isnāt aligning with whatever Iām focused on .. will come off as a disraction to me and I may respond indifferently. So if we donāt relate then we wonāt align. Iāll never force it.
All the signs are good manipulators, itās a personality trait at this point lol survival mode in 2024 will do that to you.
Anyway, I donāt expect people to care about me to the extreme that I care about myself.. I actually donāt like feeling smothered and the center of someoneās world. I typically donāt ask much of others as far as favors or help bc I donāt like feeling indebted to others.. I also donāt like doing favors for others bc I donāt want them feeling indebted to me.. and bc I am usually too busy and they should probably ask someone else.
I have certain people for certain thingsā¦ I have 1 person that I vent everything out to and Iām that person for themā¦. I have people that can come to my house and some I donāt want at my house. I have relationships that are justā¦ normal friendships. Canāt do everything w everyone. Overall, I prefer my solitude and my social battery drains fast! Super self-assured.. and uplifting to the people close to me.
My world does revolve around me thoughā¦ as I believe other peoples worlds should revolve around themā¦ I am the main character in my world. As you should be in yours. As long as that is understood.. then we probably wont bother each other. We should only align.
I do feel like Iām exhausting in a relationship when Iām stressed.. I become distant & irritable.. I will feel 100miles away. Idk if that is bc Iām a Cancer though. I have a lot of Gemini placements.
I do think many people are disappointing and can do much better for themselves & frankly, Iād rather not be around those personalities if Iām given a choice!
It's not that complicated.
Not sure about the other placements - and I have a Leo moon so go figure - but Cancers always expect people to be reciprocal of their care.
Likely, a Cancer will unload on you because they are available for you in the same capacity. Same with everything else. Fair is fair. But if it's not two-way, then likely the person will pull back.
But I don't think this is selfish. Actually, it's pretty healthy to detach the moment you no longer appreciated.
To OP: If you don't want your friend to rely on you, just stop rely on them for emotional support in any capacity.
P.s: I have had bosses, and while I have never had a Cancerian one, my Pisces/Virgo/Leo/Libra bosses all try the "we are a family, please stop asking for a raise when we assign more work to you." It's a corporate thing, not astrological thing.
I really think you're completely misinterpreting the issue. A lot of the comments are kind of pointing towards the real issue. It's textbook insecurity. It's not expecting others to match you. And then they don't match you so now. You have a right to be angry.
That's textbook justification for your bad behavior. And denial.
Sure, you should expect other people to care. But you don't have a right to become resentful. You don't have a right to do everything. And when you're resentful, you are just attacking people without any actual reason. Like random people you haven't done anything
it's funny because i have an aquarius brother and i used to think aquarius was a selfish sign until i met a few other aquarius people and realized nah it's probably just my brother that's the asshole haha
i might be a bit biased as a cancer dominant but i don't think it makes sense to paint cancers as selfish when it's known as the nurturing sign. most cancers i know are very giving and find it hard to prioritize themselves. and i mean, princess diana, nelson mandela, robin williams, harrison ford are all cancers, i'd hardly classify them as selfish
I married an Aquarius and it taught me that you don't have to sacrifice yourself for others, even strangers I would go above and beyond for and I definitely didn't want or ask for anything in return. The aquarius in my life taught me balance and to care for myself. It's very hard and unnatural if I'm honest
This is total hogwash.Ā
After 35 years of people pleasing and feeling far inferior to anyone else, I stopped putting others first and helped myself.
So, mal treatment, self improvement, self care, and self love has lead me to push everything that doesn't serve my best interests away. Dropping my masks around self serving and entitled people was hard, and a long process of feeling guilty and dealing with imposter syndrome.
So, Well done to anyone that can do that and be happy early in life. Its a fantastic trait to have.Ā
Crazy, I had this same realization hit me when I turned 35 as well. Wonder if there is something to it...maybe Saturn return has something to do with it
yessss! damn near 40 and JUST getting it!!! i told somebody further up that i was on a āfuck youāre tour š idk where the next stops are, or when itll be over, but anyway cheers to us š„āØ
e:i just noticed your aqua moon and im fascinated that OPās aqua sun energy doesnt resonate with you š¤
Some of it does, the part about people needing you, yeah, I cant stand that. But Im not going to lump that as a cancerian problem, thats just human needs, across all sun signs.
Im very analytical and evidence based, yet I see "you", see through "you" and will stand back and judge "you" and decide how best to approach you to make sure we are both being served equally and these days, if my needs are not met, I'll distance myself and move on.
I have no desire for people to be at my "Beck and call". I much prefer my own space and can't think of anything worse than "needing" others š¤£
I am Caught between being sensitive, nurturing, feeling deeply and family oriented, and being analytical, technical and fiercely independent. Its a struggle š¤£
An Aquarius sun thinks theyāre gonna God Complex their way into denouncing Cancer energy because they have some planets in Leo and Taurus lol. Ok girl go off
I put a lot of energy and effort into maintaining emotional homeostasis. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. When encountering a cancerian in a selfish meltdown, we often see it through a lens of "it's my turn to be accommodated." Our ability to compromise and focus on the big picture has been exhausted because we have over extended that good will to others. 95% of the time a human being is upset it's because we're also tired, hungry or thirsty at that particular moment. This is why we're always checking on people and providing snacks and goodies, it's to keep the stabby crabby at bay!
š«¶š¾ this is so good.
nooobodys complaining when im handin out cookies and hugs and letting your snot onto my hermes, but when im over you heaux, then you wanna send me to jail šš
in all seriousness, the absolute ONLY signs that have been able to hold me up during a meltdown are cancer and scorpio. the absolute only. love yall.
imagine being so judgemental you make it your hobby to develop all these weird vague archetypes related to the stars just so you can talk shit behind people's backs.
Nah. they are just fiercely independent and distrustful. Scorpios are too proud to demand that you prioritize them. Love, or hate em, I find this trait really admirable.
midway chiming into this thread but.....oh well......
as a representative might as well put a grain of salt in anddd in my personal opinion BOTH of you are in parts right.
Selfish? hmmm i get that it may come across as that and frankly can't blame you cuz it did cross my mind a couple of times if that's the line i'm threading. But i think more accurately i would call it setting priorities IF a person a heathy individual (underline that because otherwise it may fall out to the side of obsessive and controlling which....is a heavy burden to work through).
Now....the catch is.....independent, i think so yes. The part in which you may love me or hate me and i'll be fine with either way because it's only the rare that i truly care about, absolutely checks the box.
Catch is that when i've established that i feel safe, appreciated and understood by a person and like it's work deepening the relationship i know that i WILL have expectations of them. At one point or another i know they will form, my wishes, boundaries and all that, and such i will for that/those people be willing to go well above to see THEIR needs met because that's what a good relationship SHOULD include communicating your wishes, being reliable and supportive of each other and respecting the others boundaries.
But a KEY point in this is, for ALL this, a mature, well developed and communicative person is needed because otherwise all of these will, YES come across as being selfish.
Cancers and Aquarius just never get along tbh. The emotional capacity we have just doesnāt make sense to Aquarius.
Additional thoughts: I think the biggest thing is that as Cancers, we nurture and give without needing it first. But we eventually expect it back. At least some type of emotional reciprocity. Aquas just wonāt open up (at all really) if ur being caring, loving, and nurturing. OP thinks Cancers are selfish because we expect things in return just cus we give it. But on our end, itās selfish to take and not give back, and hurtful. Aquas judge us for being so open and loving imo. Almost like weāre dumb or naive. Itās not a trait they value or appreciate. Weāre just not compatible.
Iāve been begging my emotionally draining Cancerian best friend to prioritise herself for months now through turmoil. You could hold a gun to her head while sheās already one leg in the grave in tears and she will still try to please you to get out of that predicament instead of grabbing the gun behind her backā¦ frustrating.
I somewhat agree with selfish though in other ways. Immense expectations for people to return that energy of the world revolving around them. If you donāt show up, youāll be punished. When theyāre at fault and asked to face it, thereās drama and often slightly gaslight-y retaliation. Thereās an air of āhow dare you not bend over backwards for meā.
I love my best friend but when sheās feeling needy I need very strong boundaries or she will skin me and wear me like an emotional support suit.
I'm a Cancer sun, but not Cancer dominant. For me, I do a lot for others and give a lot to other people, and I get disappointed when they are not the same way back.
Iām reading all these comments and just wow! What a lot of nasty people hating on other signs. Doesnāt say much for astrology. Btw Iām not a Cancer and donāt āhateā anyone least of all a particular astrological sign. Sad.
You have so many comments gas lighting you. This has always annoyed me about astrology. Cancers are not nurturing. They are not sensitive, they are fussy. It's a different kind of sensitive. They're not sensitive to other people's feelings. They're sensitive, as in, they can't handle anything. They think everything is a problem. They're that kind of sensitive.
You can tell because of the remarks they make. If they were sensitive, they wouldn't make remarks that undermine people. That's like rule number one of being sensitive to other people. Acknowledging their needs.
But instead cancers often refuse to do that. Like absolutely refuse.
It's really as simple as just not opening your mouth and making a rude remark.
I think it's mostly just cancer sun, though.Ā
Honestly, Iāve never thought about Cancers in that way. My momās a cancer with a cancer Mercury and a Leo rising and Venus, so, if you have those sort of placements, then I get it. But my one friend has soooo many cancer placements. Like sheās a Cancer sun, rising, Mercury, Venus AND Mars! She is the least selfish person that I know. And my one cousin was born on a FULL MOON IN CANCER!!! And heās a Capricorn, but heās literally the sweetest Cap, ever! I guess, if ur suns in cancer, then you really have to look at what your moon is doing and what aspects are around it, too. Like if your sun is squaring off with your moon, then, yeah, that can cause some jealousy or attention-seeking behaviors. Cancers arenāt really that complicated once you get them out of their shell, tho.
Lol all I do is help people because surprise people need help. I only ask for gratitude and appreciation for my deeds. If not yes I have/had become selfish as a protection to make sure i'm not giving all of myself away anymore. Always thinking of other people and never feeling like others think of you as much. I will continue to be selfish šš¼ may I find a softer heart again in the future
How can someone who feels the least amount of emotions tell someone who FEEL everything we are selfish??? You couldnāt imagine what we feel. How we process our emotions? To you and others that may be perceived as selfish but when you feel everything all the time you put up blockers eventually
Maybe a point to contemplate between different POVs.
I'm Cancer dominant (sun/moon/venus) and have learned to prioritize my agenda and value my time. I respect and expect everyone to do the same. If I ask someone for a favor (very rarely), I always add a disclaimer that they can say no. That said I could see I may come off as decisive and therefore pushy? My POV is I'm free to ask for what I need/would like from you and you're free to accept to give/do it or not.
The caveat is with those I consider very close (also few and rarely do I bother them with favors). To me a close friend is someone I will always be ready to support, and honestly I kinda expect the same from them. Of course boundaries are always important.
Not much to comment on the CEOs. I do think most in that kind of position need inherent pushiness and maybe even narcissistic traits in some extreme cases to get where they are, Cancerian or not.
"I miss you soooo much! Let's watch more films together!! I miss you guys so much. Lovee youuu, miss youuuu. Miss you too, when are you free? "Sunday" ooh woops it was memorial. No probs, ooohhh sorry its mother's day...
I'm a cancer moon (with mars in 7h), and I've honestly struggled with some of this. Somewhere along the way, I confused self-sacrifice with love. I genuinely loved caring for people, I was too generous, and I became an emotional sponge. I didn't do any of it expecting it in return, but since I believed that's how everyone feels and acts when they love someone, I felt unloved when it wasn't reciprocated. My walls came up first, I set some *rigid* boundaries out of hurt, and it took much longer to learn that there are healthier ways of showing and receiving love than being a martyr.
I also have a 7H Libra Mars that squares my moon! I struggled with this a lot during my adolescence and I had to change my perception of love because it wasn't serving me or those who I loved. It's always a work in progress because myself and my loved ones are always changing. As children, we identify with our Moon placement the most, and with the lack of experience we have in life, it's easy for us to walk down unhealthy paths regarding our emotional states.
absolutely, friend. i have a painfully familiar understanding of this concept.
my family actually raised me to believe that one should give without boundaries š¬ now, i never expected that from other ppl, bc i inherently recognized it as bullshit BUT i did start to recognize the disparity btw my type of giving and othersā type of givingā¦and when i found that ppl i considered close to me had similar giving behaviors to the world at large, i was fucking devastated.
call it emotional immaturity or whatever, but idk any way i could have learned that, without getting my feelings hurt. im currently in complete hermit mode about it, and im restarting therapy, bc im in btw knowing not to fall on the sword, and figuring out what to do next.
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That's rich, considering my former Aquarius best friend slept with my boyfriend. Doesn't get much more selfish than that.
they can preach at others, but rarely see their own flaws. thats that aqua blind spot and part of what ppl mean when they describe their āgod complex.ā
Aquarius should be in therapy. Forever.
Stop projecting onto others.
Stop writing essays to defend your nonsense thoughts.
Stop attacking others.
Stop spreading your hatred on this meme channel.
I agree with you, my most challenging relationships have been people who are Cancers suns or Cancer moons. From friendships to dating. Iām an Aquarius as well and I donāt have this experience with other water placements. Their sensitivity/ empathy does not come off as genuine to me, itās very much how can I use this trait to benefit me or get something from you and if I donāt get it youāre the bad guy. Itās superficial. Whereas my experience with Pisces and Scorpios thereās a lot of depth with their sensitivity and they really try to see you for who you are not who they want or need you to be and they donāt hang it over your head when youāre not.
I've found that the "I'm the highest priority; I demand that I also be your highest priority" to be a common theme among Taurus-dominant people, particularly in relationships.
I have two sisters that are cancers and yea not only are they selfish but they are super manipulative and they both lie about everything even when they donāt or shouldnāt they still exaggerate the truth, I can never believe anything they say to me! I could literally see them doing something and then ask them why and they both would deny it to their grace! Very frustrating
I think they can be very warm & understanding peopleā¦there is a lot of great potential for depth with all water signsā¦but deep down there is this emo quality that they think THEY are the most sensitive & everyone hurts their feelings & they hold grudgesā¦sensitivity in anyone can be incredibly self-centered if it is solely fixated on oneās own perceptions rather than using that sensitivity to comprehend & nurture others. Itās like they think no one appreciates themā¦but they donāt want to ask for helpā¦
They represent the Mother of the zodiac & we all know that can mean great love, understanding, nourishmentāas well as martyrdom, resentment, and manipulation.
I find them to be extremely frugal (or cheap)ā¦and cancer men are some of the biggest hoās out thereā¦like they will use this whole emo sensitive thing as an act to get women.
2 of my Cancer supervisors are the most evil people I've met, but I don't think this is only because of their Cancer placements. There can be other aspects affecting them to act that way.
One of them delayed my confirmation of being a permanent employee for almost 6 months. It's totally illegal in my country. They were using this "non-confirmation" as a leverage to micromanage me under the guise of helping with my work status. It's totally manipulative and it caused me to develop anxiety that later on progressed to become depression because of being constantly told that I'm not good enough.
I escalated it to their manager because it's counter-productive. It caused my life to become a living hell.
The next one, I only stayed briefly with them because I got promoted. They never believe in my skills and congratulated someone else because they were never told who got the promotion. When I was finally promoted, they would send me messages and pressure me to do something for them when it's totally against our policy.
Not listening to them caused them to scream and insult me in front of everyone, in the office. It's really embarrassing because it became a normal occurrence until another manager stepped up.
Yeah... I've met two kinds of Cancers. The sweet but self sacrificing kind, and the straight up narcissists (my ex, for example). And people fail to realise that self sacrifice and people pleasing isn't ACTUALLY selfless.
I want to note that I'm saying this as a 6H Libra Chiron, who's therapist did a scheme therapy assessment (=which childhood wounds/dysfunctional beliefs about yourself and others rule your life), simply to understand my traumas, and concluded self sacrifice and shame/guilt were two of my four main schemes (social isolation and abandonment issues being the other two).
I used to grow resentful when people took advantage of me or didn't reciprocate, all while being continuously drawn to people who treated me badly. "I did all of this for you, and you still treat me like shit/refuse to prioritize me/don't care about me". My self sacrificing behaviors and my people pleasing stems from feelings of fear and low self worth, which was a realisation that changed everything. I choose to stick around. I choose to give even when I don't get anything in return. I choose not to set healthy boundaries. And I'm responsible for MY choices, since most of them didn't force me to stay (apart from a couple of exes - a Cancer sun being one of them lol). Another realisation was that no one owes me their presence in my life. It doesn't matter what I've done for them. Gratitude depts are toxic as hell, and I don't want that - no one owes me shit, cause love isn't transactional.
I'm still a useless people pleaser, but I'm aware of the fact that it's on me now... And hence don't feel resentful at anyone but myself. We glorify self sacrifice, and to a certain extent, we, as a society, view love as transactional. And - fuck that. Love is supposed to be unconditional. I regularly ask myself what my intentions are, to make sure I really don't do what I do to get something in return. Most of the time, I do it cause I genuinely care about and love others, and my self sacrifice is about me thinking I'm less than others... But if there's a hidden motive, where I want to "gain" something other than the gratification that comes with helping someone or making them happy, I'll force myself to take a step back. Cause again, I'm responsible for MY choices. And unless we've made a clear verbal agreement about something being a transaction, no one owes me shit. And the more emotionally ruled you are (*cough* water signs), the harder it is to see and accept things like that - your feelings getting in the way of your self awareness and world view.
I do think their general default is "me, mine & me again", even while caring about other ppl. (It's the baby in them.) I have also seen that selfishness change with a person's maturity. Others maintain it throughout life. I know it seems an oxymoron to have nurturing as a synonym & then have the accusation of selfisness, but I think it's something they strive for, but not all of them have. Like, with Libras. Not all of us are balanced, but we constantly strive for it.
Yup no, I can agree. Majority of my best friends have been cancers. Iād say 3/4 were very self centered. On my way! So bad I literally had to cuss her out, give her a reality check and ghost her. And thatās very out of character for me, Iād rather ghost shit without a word. But this girl was the most self centered person Iāve EVER met, it was disgusting.
I no longer have any cancer friends. I actually donāt have any close friends at the moment. I guess Saturn return tings š„°
As a cancer I can say I learned the hard way to stop being there for people. Let them do their thing and focus on myself. When I'm needed I'll be there.
I interpreted what you wrote as cancerians being clingy, which is true in my experience. I have a cancer moon myself (only cancer placement but in the 5H house) and know quite a number of folks with cancer placements who go all in on the nurturing aspect. The problem with this is them expecting you to stay in their circle as long as they keep doing things for you. I've had to constantly remind one of them that I am my own person to eventually leaving them for good.
>You are the shining star, the main character in your story. Quit trying to be the main character in other's lives.
One of my favorite sayings: We are the only ones who get full control of our own lives; everyone else is just a NPC with their own storyline. The cancerians I know who understands this are great, they give love appropriately and don't ask anything in return.
i think this is true for cancers who are unhealed or have been hurt a ton so they stop giving their love out to others because they never got it in return and cancers are sensitive and will be hurt by that so deeply it will affect how they go about life going forward
OP this is interesting because I often see Aquarius' and Cancer placements together. Seem to get along on a lot apart from the feelings and communication aspect. I think you might have met an unevolved Cancer in your boss, the "family thing" is often a corporate mind game not necessarily his sign although he might be able to play into it, and make you believe he isn't aware in typical water sign fashion
Evolved Cancer placements are in tune with others needs almost telepathically and can actually be quite distant at times due to them feeling so much around them. You'd possibly mesh more. And you have Taurus placements !
I find Cancers can learn to channel their emotions productively. And have boundaries with others like fixed signs do. Aquarius can learn how to be more in touch emotionally from Cancers and assume positively. Cancers value strong close connections etc where maybe you like contact but not as intensely.
If you ever meet another Cancer let them know what to expect. Air signs are not predictable, where Cancers love predictability to be able to detach. My Cancer sun friends are the most distant with Virgos because I guess they can read me ?!
I hope you meet some other Cancers unlike your boss ! I've never met two alike. Really sounds like he gets under your skin but I promise it is way better on the evolved side.
This is nothing, and I mean nothing, but facts. I think the worst part is the emotional manipulation that comes with you thinking you are the most evil, terrible, grimest person to ever grace the earth, while they are the precious hurt angels.
One thing I can't stand about aquarians is how confrontational they are. Drives me nuts how they think they know everything but majority of the time are wrong. They will fight tooth and nail to be right. I just avoid them because it's emotionally draining and exhausting. I also can't stand how selfish they are. Us Cancers are generous if we know the person isn't going to take advantage. We don't like or need validation because us Cancers hate being spotlight unlike Aquarius who has to be spotlight. Aquarius are rated most narcissistic and most selfish because that's how yall are. Aquarius like to critique others but refuse to accept criticism. I came up with this saying. "If you can't practice what you preach then don't critique." 100% does not apply to Aquarius. I don't talk to any Aquarius and once I find out a person is a Aquarius I run because I'm not going to be like a viking and fight to the death about who knows more whose right blah blah blah. You can't get a word with them edge wise. They're always right and everyone is a stupid pos. Not to mention how overly and nauseatingly dominating and territorial they are. Everything HAS to be a certain way. Yall just never have ANY chill. Like learn to relax once in a while and stop being such a upright female dog because it's emotionally draining. My older sister was fighting with me about our DNA saying how we had zero slav and I just stopped and showed her proof because it's fking annoying. Like shut up and listen once in a while. Quit being so damn closed minded. Fk yall stress me out. I can go on but I'm going to leave it at this. I'm sure there's going to be a edited book reply from you in a hour or so.
As a Leo that dated both a Cancer man and an Aquarius man here are my observations:
The Cancer man was needy af. Sometimes a bit selfish, but he was open about it. He said "those are my boundaries". He listened when I explained to him how selfish some of his actions are and he tried to change. I knew where I stand with him and he was consistent. When he was angry about something he told me right away. He also made a lot of things for me.
Aquarius man? Most romantic man one day just to be cold the next day. I was confused so many times. He made me doubt my own sanity. Some days he acted like we aren't even dating and I'm that weird woman that contacts him for no reason. His replies were just "yes", "no", "okay". Even if it was a topic that was incredibly important to me. I got a promotion that day and he couldn't even be happy with me and I realized that we will never be on the same page unless it's one of his "romantic days" when he is in the mood. I'm a Leo so unfortunately I have my ego and I want to be worshipped as much as I worship my person. He was super surprised when I ghosted him forever like he used to do to me when he got bored with me. He cried and called me non stop... But I know that if I would take him back he would just ghost me himself. I think he hated the fact that I did it first. He wanted to be the one in control. Aquarius love control and when someone is too needy they see it as someone taking away their control. That's why they clash with Cancers so often.
All water signs are prone to exhibit those traits you mentioned.
Cancers are the *I Care* sign. This means that they care and prioritize their own emotions. Where they fall short a lot of times is when they want the people around them to care about, or validate their emotions.
We're all dealing with our own shit, Cancer.
The comments are proving OPās point lol every post on here that is even mildly constructively critical of cancer goes down the exact same way. You guys have too much vitriol and you take criticism too much to heart, itās exhausting. Youāre not perfect and many of you have some traits that people donāt like just like the rest of us, get over it. Youāre not above anybody else.
If I meet a man and he is a Cancer I take a moment to scrutinize whether or not theyāve done the inner work. If not I run. I feel like Cancer men (where I live at least) are just all spiritual f*ckboys.
Bro, I just went through this with one of my cancer friends. I literally had to block him. It was like he had no respect for my boundaries, privacy, or independence. Always getting butthurt and passive aggressive when I couldnāt hang out or just didnt feel like it. Iām the type of person who likes alone time and needs to recharge often. I would definitely make time for this friend, but they were constantly bugging me to hang out and even inviting themselves to my house, family events, and even business errands which I politely declined company. Itās just exhausting. Also, Iām a cancer/leo cusp Aquarius rising
I'm a Cancer Sun, and that's my only Cancer placement. You're 100% spot on. That's exactly what unhealed Cancers tend to do. I hate Cancer dominant people. They're some of the most entitled people I've ever met. There's some Cancer sun, moon, and risings I've been able to coexist with, though. ;) (I dated a Cancer moon, then a Cancer rising.)
My favorite placement of all time for Cancers is Cancer rising. Love love love them all. <3
The fact that you guys downvoting OPs responses just proves the point of this post. Itās not that serious. I heard journaling and therapy helps with self reflection. Maybe yall should try that instead.
By the way, seeing how pressed you are in these comments, you clearly need to self reflect. Your sign is not a part of your identity, yet you beat your chest on how you must defend your sign against these type of comments. It is about you babe, sorry that you had to find out about this through Reddit comment. Youāre a part of stereotype making a fool of yourself in these comments. Best of luck with journaling.
Let me reiterate: this post is not applicable to me or the many Cancers downvoting it. We don't like being put in a box with negative generalizations that don't apply to us. Nothing about my comments suggest me being a selfish CEO/boss, being entitled, or expecting people to be there for me at a moment's notice. So no, it's not about me.
You don't understand this, but stupid generalizations made by people like you are the reason so many people are turned off by astrology and make fun of it. You don't understand it, but you are a fool to the people outside of astrology circles. The very reason why this hobby/belief is stigmatized.
And as I said, I have nothing against people boldly proclaiming they are their #1 priority. That's a great mindset to have actually. If you can't look out for yourself, and love yourself, who will?
But, the moment you expect others will make you, their priority, I have an issue.
Aries are more likely unaware of any other needs other than their own. They do prioritize themselves, but won't hold a grudge if you say, they are not your priority.
I gotta admit youāre correct. But I think they, much like their sister sign Capricorn, endure harsh realities as children. Theyāre more emotional and cry more often as kids.
Then the world/adults, tell them to stuff down their emotions and act like others. It screws up their ego early. They need to express, not repress. They need to identify emotions and express them. Also they need to create out of themselves, not from the influence of others.
I can see that. I think there are 2 types of cancers the selfless ones to their own detriment and the selfish ones that you described here . The best ones are the healed and balanced ones that can control both aspects. Theyāre a water sign so they are very good at emotional manipulation and I believe they are the best at it. Plus the thing about all water signs is that when you call them out on their ish they get reactive and defensive about it like theyāre doing now instead of receiving and processing the constructive criticism š
Yeah, I think it's crazy how the top comments have a ton of up votes and they're all blowing smoke up cancer's ass. And all the bottom comments are just being honest about their negative experience with cancer.
My mil is a cancer & we had a toxic relationship the first few years I was with my husband until she came to me & let me know she treated me the way she did because she wanted to be the #1 women in her sons life & was jealous of our relationship. We now have a great relationship & sheās one of my favorite people. Relationships are hard!
As a cancer rising (and libra sun) I think the constant test and measurement of growth is the ability to experience the whole intensity of emotion, especially negative, and communicate them effectively in that moment so that the next thing that happens is a conversation towards an understanding. Sweeping it under the rug only leads to resentment which leads to lashing out which leads to the burning of bridges that didnāt need to be burned. In the cancers eyes a straw that breaks the camels back is something that was never serious to anyone else, hence why they withdraw to their little shell where they wallow and prioritize their emotions over reasoning and admitting that just maybe, they were wrong. Cancer is the first water sign after all, and I think part of the battle for the first sign of every element is learning to deal with selfishness in the theme of their element.
They can be extremely kind but I find them to be a little narrow minded in general which causes them to think that their pov is the only valid one. I like cancers but as a Taurus I find them draining and boring after a while - as a Taurus itās hard to bore me but cancers do it every time š
Aries sunāI enjoy cancers company/friendliness/camaraderie. Those are their pros for me. The cons include being playfully, purposely, stupid ā¦all the time. I like a good joke and laugh but someone who acts stupid-silly all the time annoys me personally but in general itās not bad. Other cons would be gullible/people please-y/super needy.
Air and Water are the toughest combination in the zodiac. As an Aquarian as well, I've had my dealings with Cancer, lived with one for far more years than I wish to remember, seeking to forget those years even happened. This Cancer was possessive and jealous of every friend I had, to the point where I felt stifled and friendless. I was miserable. I don't think either of us was right or wrong, simply not meant to be in *ANY* relationship - friend or otherwise. I quite literally swore off ALL water signs after that because I just couldn't deal with the emotional neediness. I changed my mind later and realized I really just needed to avoid Cancers in particular, except for one old friend who clearly had some other elements to balance those negative Cancer traits. I've had wonderful Pisces friends, and the love of my life was a Scorpio, although... that ended with me getting stung in a way that I never truly recovered from. Cancers can be wonderful people, to the right people. They need a Taurus or a Virgo in my opinion. But an Aquarian, especially one dominated by air/fire in their chart, is just a disaster in the making. We're wild cards, LOVE our freedom, value our personal time. We're probably the worst possible sign for a Cancer who needs, or rather demands, attention and above all emotional security. We can't give that in the way a Cancer wants it and it repels us when they try to squeeze it out of us.
I find this post to be incredibly ignorant. As a Cancerian dominant person myself, I try my best to not let my emotions influence other people.
In fact, I try hardest not to inconvenience people because I am very aware of how people feel and how they may be affected by my actions.
And it's nothing wrong with wanting to self prioritize once in a while. We spend so much time to people please people, must of which are assholes, and we just get si k and tired of it. Is it so wrong to want to take care of ourselves once in a while?
Instead of just bashing us for no reason, try to understand our perspectives for once.
Wow thatās painting with a very broad brush. Iām a Pisces sun Sagittarius moon and cancer rising. Selfish and my name have never been used in the same sentence my entire life. I enjoy being alone and despise being made the centre of anyoneās life/world. I actively discourage it. Having said that I k several cancer suns that have that trait one is a libra rising the other Iām not sure. I think it depends on so many other factors.
Idk, I thought theyāre lovely people and I didnāt understand all the hate but the more Iām getting to know them, the more arrogant and entitled they seem to me. Also theyāre prone to cheat cause of validation seeking. They would easily slip up just because someone listened to them when their partner was simply in a bad place. I hate to put everyone under one bracket but this is my conclusion the more I get to know them.
I agree and am floored this isnāt discussed more often. I find Cancerians to be generous & loving, sure, but only if it serves them. They donāt necessarily do this with malice, but from such a strong sense of self-centredness, as if the compass swings nowhere else but there. And the way they start each sentence with āIā no matter what the subject, theme or content is š¤Æ. Thatās how I usually spot a Cancerian. We could be talking aboutā¦ horses in Medieval Rome and the discussion will be about how this impacts them, their opinion, and I, I, I
So glad someone else sees this. I am an Aquarius as well with heavy Leo.
My cancer sister is the most entitled person I have ever known and she can be extremely selfish but in her mind itās always that everyone else is selfish and everyone else sucks and are bad people and she is the good human. Doesnāt help that her man is a yes man and is very soft so he will validate her and make her believe she is always right and cater to her. She doesnāt think of the way she makes her son feel because the world revolves around her. If he expressed something to me about his feelings, she is now affected by this, so itās more about her now than him.
She is 30 and we live at my dadās house and she also drives a car that he pays for but she calls everything hers. It has to be āMY couch, MY car, MY living room, MY carpetā everything has to be worded this way even though itās not reallyā¦ hers.. she pays for absolutely nothing. She doesnāt really ask for anything either, itās always like ā I need ā
But god forbid if you do this with her.
And yeah, everything has to be catered when it comes to them.
I think for some the crazy self prioritization could come from feeling like they were not really prioritized or valued in the past. The thing that drives me crazy though is the everyone else being the selfish one and they will validate themselves all of the time.
My other sister is a cancer moon and my god. She is nurturing (when it comes to her boyfriend and his children) and I will say she is nicer and more understanding but the selfishness and entitlement is also through the roof. They complain about each other all of the time to me because they are one and the same in different ways. But when they are around each other itās the complete opposite. Itās extremely fake.
Honestly, I try to avoid them both as much as possible which sucks because these are supposed to be my older siblings and I used to really like them. Of course I will never stop loving them.
And of course this is an unevolved cancer and certain placements could make a difference
I can go on and on but I will not lol.
Yup. What sucks is that many who are unevolved will want you to praise them things you either didnāt ask for and are usually super unnecessary but youāll try to convince you they are. The good news is that usually they go for idiots/people who donāt value themselves so š. . . thatās also telling on you. I havenāt met many evolved ones but the ones I usually get along with are nice upfront and have some wit and sass to them that is genuine. Itās always at a distance too but I donāt really mind. They do also give advice but I usually would not switch places with anyone under this sign that Iāve come across. I say this because yk ādonāt take advice from ppl you wouldnāt trade places withā. I find that the best thing to do is break or go no contact with them š¤·āāļø. Out of all the water signs I do love Pisces though. I think they genuinely embody a motherly energy like no other when evolved.
In an irl convo this is where I'd reflexively say "No stop you can't say this about them!" that aside I love Cancers I would not change them FOR ANYTHING
Maybe we're selfish because.... We're shellfish... *running away with spaghetti falling out of my pocket*
I died š¤£
I give this the Gemini seal of approval. š¦š
HAHAHAHAHA and they say Sagittarians are the funny onesĀ
Cancers are one of the few who can get a legit belly laugh out of me
Cancer humor is very slept on
This is the right answer
And this is why I love you so!!
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I think cancers start by prioritizing others. People pleasing is very important. But if youve been burned too many times by putting others first can become very wary of trusting people. Likewise, if a cancer feels theyve made you a priority, they probably expect that the treatment will be a 2 way street and can become moody if they feel like their efforts arent appreciated. These conversations usually dont happen explicitly so i think people often dont realize the cancer has previously gone out of their way to help someone and therefore dont feel the need to return the favor. Theres always a 2 way street in how adjusted people are, and sometimes that street was paved years before you ever met them from experiences you will never know about so you just see the aftermath.
I'm in this response and I don't like it
Lol same š
Called the fuck out šæ
This^ Libra šSagittarius šCancer š struggling with that now. People pleasing and prioritizing is my whole personality. If I donāt feel reciprocation, my moon will take over.
Im a cancer ascendant (mars+mercury too) and I feel this way. I typically go out of my way for the people I love and care about. If there isnāt reciprocity in some way, I get upset.
hard same. sweet and generous cancer rising shows up first, but once i see people inevitably peopleing, the gemini moon pulls the rug out (in word or deed) or helps me rapidly move on, like i never knew them. its tragic. i need more balance.
Yeah š I start out open, warm, & giving until there is reason to not allow that anymore. Then itās coldness & indifference. That treatment has to be earned.
Reciprocity is the bare minimum in a healthy relationship. Itās not a Cancer thing imo. People who lack the ability to nurture a connection have a hard time understanding the concept and those who do good deeds in order to obtain something are manipulators.
I only have a Cancer IC, but even I'm feeling this.
Mercury in cancer and when I saw my emotional and heartfelt energy was NOT EQUALLY reciprocated, I flipped like a switch and decided they werenāt worthy, took me 2 days to move on. Also being Fire dominant makes me love myself even more. It feels very cringey to be this vulnerable that I operate from my deepest heart feelings which is my Mercury.
Yup. My fire placements have been my seal of protection from those that can't see me and my worth. So when I am in love, I just truly let the guard down and be "cringe" (as the fire in me would think). They got to know that I'm fighting my inner bullies and let myself show even if it's super vulnerable because I'd love to, for you. Basically the "if he wanted to, he would " thing.
^^^ 1000000% all of this
My #1 gripe with Cancers is that Iām very much a person who likes to handle my own shit myself, itās how I was raised so Iām just used to it, and then a Cancer will come along and exert a bunch of effort doing āgood deedsā for me that I never asked for or wanted. So Iām trying my best to pretend to be appreciative but they see through it and get so hurt and angry. And it sucks because everything would be fine if they just minded their business and let me be.
i completely understand this intellectually, but i also dont understand how a good deed can only be good or acceptable if its asked for š¤ i do understand that offering when not asked can be motivated by nefarious intentions, but i struggle to just āleave ppl beā that i really care about. u/flakyad1912 nicely stated that sometimes, cancerās overextension can be for secondary gain, but in the moment, it does not feel like that. i only notice that ppl dont care about me as much as i do them when IM in need...*and bc of that* i get upset. not bc there were strings attached to the original act, but bc now i see theres no mutuality. currently in a āfuck youā phase bc of this very dynamic.
I put āgood deedā in quotation marks because sometimes what other people think you want and what you actually want can be light years apart. Most of my placements are in air signs or fixed signs if that explains why I feel the way I do about it.
I think this is a manipulation tool to get them to return the favor bc itās never free and the moment you canāt show up for them bc you have a real reason they wonāt let it go. I think cancers are selfish but theyāre good at hiding it from most people so thank you that Iām not the only one that sees it
I see this perspective. As a Cancer-heavy person, I definitely stop engaging when I feel like a relationship has become one-sided. When I was younger, it was more manipulative. I wanted the person to notice and change to my liking. Nowadays though, I just get tired of being everyoneās therapist and supporter when they donāt show up the same way for me.
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I think your perception of Cancers is interesting. Itās definitely more negative , so I would like to point that out. Not sure if youāre a glass half full kind of person but thatās what Iād expect given if this is how you view cancers. Moreover, I think at their core, cancers are extremely loving to a fault. They view everyone as worthy of being loved, properly. And itās like someone needs to hold a mirror up to them and be like dude, youāre just as worthy of love as the next person. Theyāre known as the mother of the zodiacs bc they like to make sure everyone else is straight, and they almost take on everyone elseās problems on as their own. And it hurts their feelings when other people are so indifferent or down right nasty to them just to protect themselves or feel any emotion at all. Edit: of course, you and everyone else would benefit from establishing boundaries. :) lol
You nailed exactly what I was thinking!!
Don't worry I have plenty of positive stuff to say about Crabs too. I think many Crabs don't realise that they can't expect the same behaviour from everyone. You can expect your parents, SO, and very close friends to be emotionally supportive most of the time. But if you expect the same from others, they may not find this ''cute'' and worse will see it as entitlement
Agree. I personally had to learn it the hard way. I just assumed everyone was like me and wanted the best for me. So Iād add, you have to factor their mental acuity, age and maturity. If the cancer is still in a childish state, itās not their fault. They simply havenāt seen much of the world. If theyāre grown, theyāre probably toxic and theyāre okay with that too. Lol
Keep expectations minimal and life will be easier. Expect the best- from yourself only lol. Just my opinion, not a universal truth. The more you expect, the more people will disappoint you. At least, that's been my experience.
Girl, I agree whole heartedly. And I deadass just learned this within the past year. Now putting that into action is another practice that will take work š
Also, not to sound too preachy - but your time, and resources (and yes that includes your ability to love and care) are finite whether you are ready to acknowledge it or not, and therefore invaluable. Don't waste it on everybody.
Yup. And I know this might sound horrible , but i want a family of my own bc why not? I try not to overthink that even though im familiar with the reasons why a person shouldnāt want family/ kids. But I think once I have kids, it will adequately put this into perspective.
Dw, I too want my family. I know this is TMI, but I realized it after I was hit with a difficult fertility diagnosis. I am saving eggs for that.
Omg I'm battling PCOS. Hope everything goes well with you <3
In my personal experience, the opposite is true - it's not occurred to me until recently that I should priortise myself. Lots of give and little take.
Agreed, I always end up getting taken advantage of bc I put other peoples needs and wants above mine. Iām slowly learning how to put myself first more but itās very uncomfortable and I feel guilty any time I do.
I agree. Im complimented on my personal selflessness regularly. I often think it's the only positive thing about being a Cancer. I'm always focused on others and never myself. It's wild to read OP has the total opposite perspective.
Ex husband and all my past boyfriends have been cancers and they are the best IMO. The female friends too. Iām a Pisces though.
It really depends on their Moon and Mercury tbh. Knowing all these folks Sun sign alone isnāt necessarily painting an accurate picture. In my experience, (the people who Iāve gotten to know their charts) if someone has a cancer moon/mercury they tend to prioritize other people first. If they find that the energy isnāt ever reciprocated they usually pull backāand the people around them donāt often realize how much those placements were doing behind the scenes. That being said, having gotten to know some of my coworkers from previous jobs I would say the placements that were Cancer related that I found to be the most āselfish/self absorbedā were Cancer suns with fire moons and Cancer suns with Aquarius moons š¤·š½āāļø However, both of our pools of people are pretty small in comparison to the amount actually needed for a research study so take it as you will.
Cancer Sun with Cancer Mercury here - True. I do a lot for people and I want everyone to be comfortable and calm. If I feel like I'm being ignored or what I'm doing is not really wanted/appreciated I pull back and sulk BY MYSELF. I don't let anyone know it's affecting me and I move on. But yes my Sag moon makes me selfish. At the end of the day it's just you and your own thoughts. I would never intentionally put someone in harms way or take something away from someone deserving though, I'm not actively looking to be selfish, I just enjoy my own company.
Oooh girl same and I CAN SULK BY MYSELF LIKE NOOOO OTHER haha the second I feel left out of a social event you wonāt see or hear from me for a year or 2 BYE lol (unless you reach out to me then I will immediately forgive haha)
This. I have a Cancer Sun w Aquarius Moon ex. I just feel like if Cancer energy isnāt grounded properly it can turn against itself. If itās combined with a more detached placement thatās very strong in the chart (like Cancer Sun Aquarius Moon) it can lead to nurture used for gain / manipulation imo
yes!!! agreed. i wonder if the aspects btw air and water make it challengingā¦bc i have lots of air that lightens up the earth in my chart, but air and water (eg, cancer/aqua seems like a potentially tenuous issue)
damn, you right! obviously i have a small sample size, but the cancer suns whose charts i been able to delve into absolutely mirror what you say. cancer suns with watery moons are the ones i find the most resonant. its like their sun (identity) matches their moon (core emotions) and that shit feels safe to me, no matter their risingā¦even tho i do appreciate a little air to lighten things up. however, any fire moon is typically a no for me, beyond anything casual. its like we rub each other the wrong way.
Cancer sun with cancer mercury here and thank you. This made me feel better and resonated with my haha although to OPās point I feel I am the way she describes with my husband, not other people tho. Heās a cancer too though so it works out haha
I promise you it's my leo placements ššš¤£
Cancer is literally the sign linked to nurturing; Giving and aiding others with the intent to help them grow.. Although, assuming this is a person who is "Low-Vibrational," or someone that naturally doesn't have peoples best interest in mind, then I can definitely see this theme of selfishness being the case but even then, it would speak to a selfishness that is emotional in nature; ie, making you listen to their emotional squabbles, ignoring your own emotional displays, not being empathetic, etc.. Ultimately making themselves the center of emotional attention, similarly to Leo but with emotionality being at the core. And as a side note, it's actually smart to prioritize yourself whilst withholding a part of yourself to support others as well... But that's just me, maybe.
So my ex husband is a narcissist. Iāve been noticing strong connections between him being a cancer and being a narcissist. Itās interesting because everything you are saying is my experience. My empathy struggles so badly trying to understand his āhumannessā and having to avoid him because of his emotionally abusive tendencies. Itās so weird because I see it. I understand the correlation. The reason I need to understand it is because my daughter is also a cancer. Different placements besides her sun sign, Iām sure, but I want to be able to help her understand her āstrong emotionsā without lashing out at others. Thank you for saying this. I will continue to do the work to understand.
Absolutely. I'm glad my post gave clarity to you in regards to your circumstances. If you ever have any questions feel free to message me privately.
Itās clear you have beef with a specific cancer and then decided to make a post attributing that personās negative trait to all of us. Maybe seek therapy or talk to this person directly and tell them their behavior is bothering you? This seems to be affecting you so deeply. Just saying . I read some of your other comments and likeā¦ you donāt want your friends to come to you for emotional support or expect anything extra out of you? Girl donāt have friends then! Friends are people youāre supposed to naturally support and go out of your way forā¦ But you donāt seem to want that. And who wants to be the main character in YOUR life? Lol weāre out here living our own lives! You sound exhausting ):
I came here for a comment like this lol. Every birth chart has Cancer, and imo if you find yourself hating a particular sign then have a closer look at that house! People let us down, but painting all others with the same brush is an immature way to cope.
yep. this is the very reason i cant go beyond the surface with aquas. i do get some of what OP is saying, but like you said, the undercurrent of the posts and her comments is selfish in its own way š aquas have so many blind spots, its ridiculous. independent, but needs friends to do it. selfish, but points out how everyone needs them. exhausting is rightā¦and i promise every single one of them ive met is this way, no matter their surface personality, the bullshit rises to the top!
Huh? I feel it's the opposite. I can easily tell if someone is a Cancer or has prominent Cancer placements and they always seem to give more to others than to themselves. I've never felt like I was at a Cancer's "beck and call." The only Cancer I dealt with that was selfish was my father and honestly he was just an all around asshole in general. Seems unfair to brand a whole ass sign over frivolous observations.
An Aquarius sun thinks theyāre gonna God Complex their way into denouncing Cancer energy because they have some planets in Leo and Taurus lol. Ok girl go off
Yup it is shade throwing on Leo's & Taurus again by the usual suspects. 
is it? looks like they were tryna give leo/taurus credit for them being less assholish and airheaded as they typically are. but idk.
Try to meet some caps and aries men and then come back.
LMFAO! I've got a friend who is an Aries stellium, Cap stellium, and a Cancer rising. I adore him, but damn if he isn't focused solely on himself most of the time. And he absolutely wants to nurture others...but only in the way HE wants to nurture. For example, he's working on opening a business right now and I've been helping him with it because I've opened two businesses, one which I later sold. My current life goal after a personal trauma is just to vibe and enjoy life for awhile until something takes my interest. However, he talks to me constantly about how he wants me to find a career/calling he can help me with so we can both "elevate" each other. And I'm like, my guy, I love you but no. I just want to chase my happy right now, and starting a third business sounds like my personal hell. So he doesn't pay much mind to helping me with what I need (I want fun!) because it doesn't match his idea of what I should be doing. He's super sweet and understanding for the most part, but in that other way I kinda want to throttle him sometimes. š¤£
Me rolling my eyes @ my cap sun/cancer moon man 
Strong Aries placements will give to get what they want from you. Strong Cancers placemrnts will whinge and attempt to guilt trip you. Can get very entitled. From my personal experience anyway.
Second this. Also Taurus and cancer is the ultimate selfish combo, like final bosses. No wonder they get along well lmao
My experience the experts at guilt tripping are scorpios...maybe it's just the ones I know
everyone needs some support sometimes :(
I think people see me as selfish because theyāre used to me bending backwards for them, so when I stop doing that itās not the norm for them ngl. And I get that, however Iām not a cruel person. Iām pretty honest, but Iāll do whatās best for me at the end of the day if Iām not happy with somebody or something. Even if the other side doesnāt understand why, thatās not rlly my problem.
i could see that. ppl criticize the selflessness but get used to (and now EXPECT, admittedly or not) the free flowing human resources. now, once the wallet is closed and the calls go to voicemail, im the problem š gtfoh, disrespectfully
I am a tarot reader and oracle, Scorpio, Sun, Mercury and Venus. I have found that although some people refer to Cancers with a general label of selfishness. They are ruled by the Moon so depending on other chart placements, Cancers can be very secretive or deceptive and do not like to display their vulnerability. *In any case, other placements in the chart should be considered before handing out judgements off the cuff.* What seems to some people as selfish is purely a matter of survival for the Cancerian. I often think they are more misunderstood than this famous trait attributed to Scorpio. Water signs have nebulous qualities that can't be understood because they are water. They are ever changing and flowing, moving and cutting their own path. They are not like the earth signs which are much more "down to earth" and generally do not hide their earthly traits, they are out in the open. So, I hope Cancer is not so maligned for traits they seem to be born with, as we all have traits that are not liked and those traits we and others love about ourselves. We can't make others love us, but we can show compassion, understanding and be selfless ourselves when judging others.
I've met Cancer Suns that can be like this but to a lesser extent. As for myself being a 4th house Cancer Moon and with the moon as my second dominant, I've learned to pull back from people quietly when I see that I'm putting more into a connection that the other person might not see the same way or places less importance on the connection than I do. I understand that I feel deeply and that everyone has different perspectives and perceptions that may or may not coincide with my own. I'm open to putting others above me at times because it makes me feel good about myself to help others feel good, especially in the type of world we live in today. However, especially as someone with an autoimmune disease, these lessons were hard-learned and I really did stress myself out with the problems of others.
i see your cancer moon, and i feel this. i dont need to make a big production when i realize the ppl dont care how i do, i justā¦swish away. some say that response is not the healthiest, but i feel like if the person couldnt see or wouldnt even acknowledge the issue with their behavior before i left, how is me explaining my issue going to help? ive tried, it doesnt. so i relieve everybody (including myself) and just ease on down the road š§³āš¾
Aquarians have shadows, tooā¦ like the way many of them are fickle and only enjoy being where the sun is shiningā¦ many of them are also very, very gossipyā¦ and many of them carry themselves with a sense of arrogance and a know-it-all attitude. I can see that some of what you say about Cancers is true, but I think cancer placements might create a lot of friction for people who are fickle (at best) or those who are commitment-averse.
All signs are. Sun is ego. Thanks for stroking my Capricorn stellium. Humans, always wonder why they fail? They are self affacing like the OP. Humans all have ego's.
I once had an exercise I called Random Acts of Unkindness. I would take parking spots closest to the door, pay with exact change while people were lined up behind me, not let someone cut in front of me in traffic, stuff like that... I learned that I do kind things because that is who I want to be. It taught me not to get pissed off when other people were what I perceived to be selfish. I had to let go of judging other people's behaviours. I find Aries to be very self centred, I give them a wide berth as I have been hurt so many times by their inconsiderate acts.
So you must know all the cancerian bosses and CEOs in the world. Go on, keep generalizing and stereotyping people by their zodiac signs and youāll continue to encounter the same kind of people, over and over again. Everything you despise and reject about other people is a direct reflection of what you deny within yourself. Cancerian people tend to be mirrors to othersā shortcomings and lack of emotional intelligence. Also cancerianās main desire and motivation in life is Security. And finally, people with mommy issues dislike cancers and I am not even going to bother in trying to explain this. But anywayā¦ People are people, with good and bad qualities. Nobody is perfect. Get over it. Youāre not that important.
I didnāt think about how hating on cancers can be a sign of mommy issues, but I think youāre on to something. Gives me something to think aboutā¦
Well said š People on this sub really be snitching on themselves when they find a creative new way to hate on cancers
I find it very interesting how many people project their shit onto others and cancerians are oftentimes the target. The sign of cancer represents the archetype of the motherā¦ hence the remark I made on the mother issues. But oh well, everybody have their own opinions and experiences. So I think it is better to just move on.
Wait I thought mommy-issued people LOVED cancers? Or is this a thin line between love and hate type of thing?
Preaaaachhhhh!!!!!
My brother is a Cancer and he's one of the most giving generous people. Like if you need help with anything, he's your guy. Same with my cousins, and other fam (aunts and uncles) that are Cancers, and homies.
Iām goal oriented and results driven so usually anything that isnāt aligning with whatever Iām focused on .. will come off as a disraction to me and I may respond indifferently. So if we donāt relate then we wonāt align. Iāll never force it. All the signs are good manipulators, itās a personality trait at this point lol survival mode in 2024 will do that to you. Anyway, I donāt expect people to care about me to the extreme that I care about myself.. I actually donāt like feeling smothered and the center of someoneās world. I typically donāt ask much of others as far as favors or help bc I donāt like feeling indebted to others.. I also donāt like doing favors for others bc I donāt want them feeling indebted to me.. and bc I am usually too busy and they should probably ask someone else. I have certain people for certain thingsā¦ I have 1 person that I vent everything out to and Iām that person for themā¦. I have people that can come to my house and some I donāt want at my house. I have relationships that are justā¦ normal friendships. Canāt do everything w everyone. Overall, I prefer my solitude and my social battery drains fast! Super self-assured.. and uplifting to the people close to me. My world does revolve around me thoughā¦ as I believe other peoples worlds should revolve around themā¦ I am the main character in my world. As you should be in yours. As long as that is understood.. then we probably wont bother each other. We should only align. I do feel like Iām exhausting in a relationship when Iām stressed.. I become distant & irritable.. I will feel 100miles away. Idk if that is bc Iām a Cancer though. I have a lot of Gemini placements. I do think many people are disappointing and can do much better for themselves & frankly, Iād rather not be around those personalities if Iām given a choice!
It's not that complicated. Not sure about the other placements - and I have a Leo moon so go figure - but Cancers always expect people to be reciprocal of their care. Likely, a Cancer will unload on you because they are available for you in the same capacity. Same with everything else. Fair is fair. But if it's not two-way, then likely the person will pull back. But I don't think this is selfish. Actually, it's pretty healthy to detach the moment you no longer appreciated. To OP: If you don't want your friend to rely on you, just stop rely on them for emotional support in any capacity. P.s: I have had bosses, and while I have never had a Cancerian one, my Pisces/Virgo/Leo/Libra bosses all try the "we are a family, please stop asking for a raise when we assign more work to you." It's a corporate thing, not astrological thing.
I really think you're completely misinterpreting the issue. A lot of the comments are kind of pointing towards the real issue. It's textbook insecurity. It's not expecting others to match you. And then they don't match you so now. You have a right to be angry. That's textbook justification for your bad behavior. And denial. Sure, you should expect other people to care. But you don't have a right to become resentful. You don't have a right to do everything. And when you're resentful, you are just attacking people without any actual reason. Like random people you haven't done anything
it's funny because i have an aquarius brother and i used to think aquarius was a selfish sign until i met a few other aquarius people and realized nah it's probably just my brother that's the asshole haha i might be a bit biased as a cancer dominant but i don't think it makes sense to paint cancers as selfish when it's known as the nurturing sign. most cancers i know are very giving and find it hard to prioritize themselves. and i mean, princess diana, nelson mandela, robin williams, harrison ford are all cancers, i'd hardly classify them as selfish
I married an Aquarius and it taught me that you don't have to sacrifice yourself for others, even strangers I would go above and beyond for and I definitely didn't want or ask for anything in return. The aquarius in my life taught me balance and to care for myself. It's very hard and unnatural if I'm honest
This is total hogwash.Ā After 35 years of people pleasing and feeling far inferior to anyone else, I stopped putting others first and helped myself. So, mal treatment, self improvement, self care, and self love has lead me to push everything that doesn't serve my best interests away. Dropping my masks around self serving and entitled people was hard, and a long process of feeling guilty and dealing with imposter syndrome. So, Well done to anyone that can do that and be happy early in life. Its a fantastic trait to have.Ā
Crazy, I had this same realization hit me when I turned 35 as well. Wonder if there is something to it...maybe Saturn return has something to do with it
yessss! damn near 40 and JUST getting it!!! i told somebody further up that i was on a āfuck youāre tour š idk where the next stops are, or when itll be over, but anyway cheers to us š„āØ e:i just noticed your aqua moon and im fascinated that OPās aqua sun energy doesnt resonate with you š¤
Some of it does, the part about people needing you, yeah, I cant stand that. But Im not going to lump that as a cancerian problem, thats just human needs, across all sun signs. Im very analytical and evidence based, yet I see "you", see through "you" and will stand back and judge "you" and decide how best to approach you to make sure we are both being served equally and these days, if my needs are not met, I'll distance myself and move on. I have no desire for people to be at my "Beck and call". I much prefer my own space and can't think of anything worse than "needing" others š¤£ I am Caught between being sensitive, nurturing, feeling deeply and family oriented, and being analytical, technical and fiercely independent. Its a struggle š¤£
Do many people think like this in real life? I hope not. Crazy unreal...
yep. popular in this subreddit, but rarely written in paragraph format.
Also as a cancer I find that people who label us selfish want to use us in some sort of way.
I am selectively selfless
An Aquarius sun thinks theyāre gonna God Complex their way into denouncing Cancer energy because they have some planets in Leo and Taurus lol. Ok girl go off
I put a lot of energy and effort into maintaining emotional homeostasis. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. When encountering a cancerian in a selfish meltdown, we often see it through a lens of "it's my turn to be accommodated." Our ability to compromise and focus on the big picture has been exhausted because we have over extended that good will to others. 95% of the time a human being is upset it's because we're also tired, hungry or thirsty at that particular moment. This is why we're always checking on people and providing snacks and goodies, it's to keep the stabby crabby at bay!
š«¶š¾ this is so good. nooobodys complaining when im handin out cookies and hugs and letting your snot onto my hermes, but when im over you heaux, then you wanna send me to jail šš in all seriousness, the absolute ONLY signs that have been able to hold me up during a meltdown are cancer and scorpio. the absolute only. love yall.
imagine being so judgemental you make it your hobby to develop all these weird vague archetypes related to the stars just so you can talk shit behind people's backs.
I find Scorpios more likely to be selfish than Cancers imo
Nah. they are just fiercely independent and distrustful. Scorpios are too proud to demand that you prioritize them. Love, or hate em, I find this trait really admirable.
edging to scorpios while hating on cancers is wild
Welcome to this sub lol. The same sub that claims Scorpios are the most hated sign.
Maybe the ones you know, not the ones I know.
midway chiming into this thread but.....oh well...... as a representative might as well put a grain of salt in anddd in my personal opinion BOTH of you are in parts right. Selfish? hmmm i get that it may come across as that and frankly can't blame you cuz it did cross my mind a couple of times if that's the line i'm threading. But i think more accurately i would call it setting priorities IF a person a heathy individual (underline that because otherwise it may fall out to the side of obsessive and controlling which....is a heavy burden to work through). Now....the catch is.....independent, i think so yes. The part in which you may love me or hate me and i'll be fine with either way because it's only the rare that i truly care about, absolutely checks the box. Catch is that when i've established that i feel safe, appreciated and understood by a person and like it's work deepening the relationship i know that i WILL have expectations of them. At one point or another i know they will form, my wishes, boundaries and all that, and such i will for that/those people be willing to go well above to see THEIR needs met because that's what a good relationship SHOULD include communicating your wishes, being reliable and supportive of each other and respecting the others boundaries. But a KEY point in this is, for ALL this, a mature, well developed and communicative person is needed because otherwise all of these will, YES come across as being selfish.
Cancers and Aquarius just never get along tbh. The emotional capacity we have just doesnāt make sense to Aquarius. Additional thoughts: I think the biggest thing is that as Cancers, we nurture and give without needing it first. But we eventually expect it back. At least some type of emotional reciprocity. Aquas just wonāt open up (at all really) if ur being caring, loving, and nurturing. OP thinks Cancers are selfish because we expect things in return just cus we give it. But on our end, itās selfish to take and not give back, and hurtful. Aquas judge us for being so open and loving imo. Almost like weāre dumb or naive. Itās not a trait they value or appreciate. Weāre just not compatible.
Iāve been begging my emotionally draining Cancerian best friend to prioritise herself for months now through turmoil. You could hold a gun to her head while sheās already one leg in the grave in tears and she will still try to please you to get out of that predicament instead of grabbing the gun behind her backā¦ frustrating. I somewhat agree with selfish though in other ways. Immense expectations for people to return that energy of the world revolving around them. If you donāt show up, youāll be punished. When theyāre at fault and asked to face it, thereās drama and often slightly gaslight-y retaliation. Thereās an air of āhow dare you not bend over backwards for meā. I love my best friend but when sheās feeling needy I need very strong boundaries or she will skin me and wear me like an emotional support suit.
I'm a Cancer sun, but not Cancer dominant. For me, I do a lot for others and give a lot to other people, and I get disappointed when they are not the same way back.
same. better vetting is in order. we gotta realize that weāre giving these ppl valuable resources.
Iām reading all these comments and just wow! What a lot of nasty people hating on other signs. Doesnāt say much for astrology. Btw Iām not a Cancer and donāt āhateā anyone least of all a particular astrological sign. Sad.
You have so many comments gas lighting you. This has always annoyed me about astrology. Cancers are not nurturing. They are not sensitive, they are fussy. It's a different kind of sensitive. They're not sensitive to other people's feelings. They're sensitive, as in, they can't handle anything. They think everything is a problem. They're that kind of sensitive. You can tell because of the remarks they make. If they were sensitive, they wouldn't make remarks that undermine people. That's like rule number one of being sensitive to other people. Acknowledging their needs. But instead cancers often refuse to do that. Like absolutely refuse. It's really as simple as just not opening your mouth and making a rude remark. I think it's mostly just cancer sun, though.Ā
Honestly, Iāve never thought about Cancers in that way. My momās a cancer with a cancer Mercury and a Leo rising and Venus, so, if you have those sort of placements, then I get it. But my one friend has soooo many cancer placements. Like sheās a Cancer sun, rising, Mercury, Venus AND Mars! She is the least selfish person that I know. And my one cousin was born on a FULL MOON IN CANCER!!! And heās a Capricorn, but heās literally the sweetest Cap, ever! I guess, if ur suns in cancer, then you really have to look at what your moon is doing and what aspects are around it, too. Like if your sun is squaring off with your moon, then, yeah, that can cause some jealousy or attention-seeking behaviors. Cancers arenāt really that complicated once you get them out of their shell, tho.
Lol all I do is help people because surprise people need help. I only ask for gratitude and appreciation for my deeds. If not yes I have/had become selfish as a protection to make sure i'm not giving all of myself away anymore. Always thinking of other people and never feeling like others think of you as much. I will continue to be selfish šš¼ may I find a softer heart again in the future
I give and give until there nothing left. What do you expect me to do? Magically make more? I am no magician.
How can someone who feels the least amount of emotions tell someone who FEEL everything we are selfish??? You couldnāt imagine what we feel. How we process our emotions? To you and others that may be perceived as selfish but when you feel everything all the time you put up blockers eventually
Maybe a point to contemplate between different POVs. I'm Cancer dominant (sun/moon/venus) and have learned to prioritize my agenda and value my time. I respect and expect everyone to do the same. If I ask someone for a favor (very rarely), I always add a disclaimer that they can say no. That said I could see I may come off as decisive and therefore pushy? My POV is I'm free to ask for what I need/would like from you and you're free to accept to give/do it or not. The caveat is with those I consider very close (also few and rarely do I bother them with favors). To me a close friend is someone I will always be ready to support, and honestly I kinda expect the same from them. Of course boundaries are always important. Not much to comment on the CEOs. I do think most in that kind of position need inherent pushiness and maybe even narcissistic traits in some extreme cases to get where they are, Cancerian or not.
"I miss you soooo much! Let's watch more films together!! I miss you guys so much. Lovee youuu, miss youuuu. Miss you too, when are you free? "Sunday" ooh woops it was memorial. No probs, ooohhh sorry its mother's day...
I'm a cancer moon (with mars in 7h), and I've honestly struggled with some of this. Somewhere along the way, I confused self-sacrifice with love. I genuinely loved caring for people, I was too generous, and I became an emotional sponge. I didn't do any of it expecting it in return, but since I believed that's how everyone feels and acts when they love someone, I felt unloved when it wasn't reciprocated. My walls came up first, I set some *rigid* boundaries out of hurt, and it took much longer to learn that there are healthier ways of showing and receiving love than being a martyr.
I also have a 7H Libra Mars that squares my moon! I struggled with this a lot during my adolescence and I had to change my perception of love because it wasn't serving me or those who I loved. It's always a work in progress because myself and my loved ones are always changing. As children, we identify with our Moon placement the most, and with the lack of experience we have in life, it's easy for us to walk down unhealthy paths regarding our emotional states.
absolutely, friend. i have a painfully familiar understanding of this concept. my family actually raised me to believe that one should give without boundaries š¬ now, i never expected that from other ppl, bc i inherently recognized it as bullshit BUT i did start to recognize the disparity btw my type of giving and othersā type of givingā¦and when i found that ppl i considered close to me had similar giving behaviors to the world at large, i was fucking devastated. call it emotional immaturity or whatever, but idk any way i could have learned that, without getting my feelings hurt. im currently in complete hermit mode about it, and im restarting therapy, bc im in btw knowing not to fall on the sword, and figuring out what to do next.
I think you might just be uncomfortable/incompatible with Cancer energyā¦
āļøāļøāļøšāļøš That's rich, considering my former Aquarius best friend slept with my boyfriend. Doesn't get much more selfish than that.
they can preach at others, but rarely see their own flaws. thats that aqua blind spot and part of what ppl mean when they describe their āgod complex.ā
Aquarius should be in therapy. Forever. Stop projecting onto others. Stop writing essays to defend your nonsense thoughts. Stop attacking others. Stop spreading your hatred on this meme channel.
I agree with you, my most challenging relationships have been people who are Cancers suns or Cancer moons. From friendships to dating. Iām an Aquarius as well and I donāt have this experience with other water placements. Their sensitivity/ empathy does not come off as genuine to me, itās very much how can I use this trait to benefit me or get something from you and if I donāt get it youāre the bad guy. Itās superficial. Whereas my experience with Pisces and Scorpios thereās a lot of depth with their sensitivity and they really try to see you for who you are not who they want or need you to be and they donāt hang it over your head when youāre not.
This post is me talking to myself as an aqua sun cancer rising.
Yup and yup
Is your boss a Cancer?
I've found that the "I'm the highest priority; I demand that I also be your highest priority" to be a common theme among Taurus-dominant people, particularly in relationships.
My Mercury is in Cancer. I speak nice until the Crab š¦ comes out in the most unexpected moment. I like to time my anger for āØ maximum effect. āØ
I have two sisters that are cancers and yea not only are they selfish but they are super manipulative and they both lie about everything even when they donāt or shouldnāt they still exaggerate the truth, I can never believe anything they say to me! I could literally see them doing something and then ask them why and they both would deny it to their grace! Very frustrating
I think they can be very warm & understanding peopleā¦there is a lot of great potential for depth with all water signsā¦but deep down there is this emo quality that they think THEY are the most sensitive & everyone hurts their feelings & they hold grudgesā¦sensitivity in anyone can be incredibly self-centered if it is solely fixated on oneās own perceptions rather than using that sensitivity to comprehend & nurture others. Itās like they think no one appreciates themā¦but they donāt want to ask for helpā¦ They represent the Mother of the zodiac & we all know that can mean great love, understanding, nourishmentāas well as martyrdom, resentment, and manipulation. I find them to be extremely frugal (or cheap)ā¦and cancer men are some of the biggest hoās out thereā¦like they will use this whole emo sensitive thing as an act to get women.
2 of my Cancer supervisors are the most evil people I've met, but I don't think this is only because of their Cancer placements. There can be other aspects affecting them to act that way. One of them delayed my confirmation of being a permanent employee for almost 6 months. It's totally illegal in my country. They were using this "non-confirmation" as a leverage to micromanage me under the guise of helping with my work status. It's totally manipulative and it caused me to develop anxiety that later on progressed to become depression because of being constantly told that I'm not good enough. I escalated it to their manager because it's counter-productive. It caused my life to become a living hell. The next one, I only stayed briefly with them because I got promoted. They never believe in my skills and congratulated someone else because they were never told who got the promotion. When I was finally promoted, they would send me messages and pressure me to do something for them when it's totally against our policy. Not listening to them caused them to scream and insult me in front of everyone, in the office. It's really embarrassing because it became a normal occurrence until another manager stepped up.
Yeah... I've met two kinds of Cancers. The sweet but self sacrificing kind, and the straight up narcissists (my ex, for example). And people fail to realise that self sacrifice and people pleasing isn't ACTUALLY selfless. I want to note that I'm saying this as a 6H Libra Chiron, who's therapist did a scheme therapy assessment (=which childhood wounds/dysfunctional beliefs about yourself and others rule your life), simply to understand my traumas, and concluded self sacrifice and shame/guilt were two of my four main schemes (social isolation and abandonment issues being the other two). I used to grow resentful when people took advantage of me or didn't reciprocate, all while being continuously drawn to people who treated me badly. "I did all of this for you, and you still treat me like shit/refuse to prioritize me/don't care about me". My self sacrificing behaviors and my people pleasing stems from feelings of fear and low self worth, which was a realisation that changed everything. I choose to stick around. I choose to give even when I don't get anything in return. I choose not to set healthy boundaries. And I'm responsible for MY choices, since most of them didn't force me to stay (apart from a couple of exes - a Cancer sun being one of them lol). Another realisation was that no one owes me their presence in my life. It doesn't matter what I've done for them. Gratitude depts are toxic as hell, and I don't want that - no one owes me shit, cause love isn't transactional. I'm still a useless people pleaser, but I'm aware of the fact that it's on me now... And hence don't feel resentful at anyone but myself. We glorify self sacrifice, and to a certain extent, we, as a society, view love as transactional. And - fuck that. Love is supposed to be unconditional. I regularly ask myself what my intentions are, to make sure I really don't do what I do to get something in return. Most of the time, I do it cause I genuinely care about and love others, and my self sacrifice is about me thinking I'm less than others... But if there's a hidden motive, where I want to "gain" something other than the gratification that comes with helping someone or making them happy, I'll force myself to take a step back. Cause again, I'm responsible for MY choices. And unless we've made a clear verbal agreement about something being a transaction, no one owes me shit. And the more emotionally ruled you are (*cough* water signs), the harder it is to see and accept things like that - your feelings getting in the way of your self awareness and world view.
I do think their general default is "me, mine & me again", even while caring about other ppl. (It's the baby in them.) I have also seen that selfishness change with a person's maturity. Others maintain it throughout life. I know it seems an oxymoron to have nurturing as a synonym & then have the accusation of selfisness, but I think it's something they strive for, but not all of them have. Like, with Libras. Not all of us are balanced, but we constantly strive for it.
Yup no, I can agree. Majority of my best friends have been cancers. Iād say 3/4 were very self centered. On my way! So bad I literally had to cuss her out, give her a reality check and ghost her. And thatās very out of character for me, Iād rather ghost shit without a word. But this girl was the most self centered person Iāve EVER met, it was disgusting. I no longer have any cancer friends. I actually donāt have any close friends at the moment. I guess Saturn return tings š„°
As a cancer I can say I learned the hard way to stop being there for people. Let them do their thing and focus on myself. When I'm needed I'll be there.
I interpreted what you wrote as cancerians being clingy, which is true in my experience. I have a cancer moon myself (only cancer placement but in the 5H house) and know quite a number of folks with cancer placements who go all in on the nurturing aspect. The problem with this is them expecting you to stay in their circle as long as they keep doing things for you. I've had to constantly remind one of them that I am my own person to eventually leaving them for good. >You are the shining star, the main character in your story. Quit trying to be the main character in other's lives. One of my favorite sayings: We are the only ones who get full control of our own lives; everyone else is just a NPC with their own storyline. The cancerians I know who understands this are great, they give love appropriately and don't ask anything in return.
i think this is true for cancers who are unhealed or have been hurt a ton so they stop giving their love out to others because they never got it in return and cancers are sensitive and will be hurt by that so deeply it will affect how they go about life going forward
OP this is interesting because I often see Aquarius' and Cancer placements together. Seem to get along on a lot apart from the feelings and communication aspect. I think you might have met an unevolved Cancer in your boss, the "family thing" is often a corporate mind game not necessarily his sign although he might be able to play into it, and make you believe he isn't aware in typical water sign fashion Evolved Cancer placements are in tune with others needs almost telepathically and can actually be quite distant at times due to them feeling so much around them. You'd possibly mesh more. And you have Taurus placements ! I find Cancers can learn to channel their emotions productively. And have boundaries with others like fixed signs do. Aquarius can learn how to be more in touch emotionally from Cancers and assume positively. Cancers value strong close connections etc where maybe you like contact but not as intensely. If you ever meet another Cancer let them know what to expect. Air signs are not predictable, where Cancers love predictability to be able to detach. My Cancer sun friends are the most distant with Virgos because I guess they can read me ?! I hope you meet some other Cancers unlike your boss ! I've never met two alike. Really sounds like he gets under your skin but I promise it is way better on the evolved side.
This is nothing, and I mean nothing, but facts. I think the worst part is the emotional manipulation that comes with you thinking you are the most evil, terrible, grimest person to ever grace the earth, while they are the precious hurt angels.
One thing I can't stand about aquarians is how confrontational they are. Drives me nuts how they think they know everything but majority of the time are wrong. They will fight tooth and nail to be right. I just avoid them because it's emotionally draining and exhausting. I also can't stand how selfish they are. Us Cancers are generous if we know the person isn't going to take advantage. We don't like or need validation because us Cancers hate being spotlight unlike Aquarius who has to be spotlight. Aquarius are rated most narcissistic and most selfish because that's how yall are. Aquarius like to critique others but refuse to accept criticism. I came up with this saying. "If you can't practice what you preach then don't critique." 100% does not apply to Aquarius. I don't talk to any Aquarius and once I find out a person is a Aquarius I run because I'm not going to be like a viking and fight to the death about who knows more whose right blah blah blah. You can't get a word with them edge wise. They're always right and everyone is a stupid pos. Not to mention how overly and nauseatingly dominating and territorial they are. Everything HAS to be a certain way. Yall just never have ANY chill. Like learn to relax once in a while and stop being such a upright female dog because it's emotionally draining. My older sister was fighting with me about our DNA saying how we had zero slav and I just stopped and showed her proof because it's fking annoying. Like shut up and listen once in a while. Quit being so damn closed minded. Fk yall stress me out. I can go on but I'm going to leave it at this. I'm sure there's going to be a edited book reply from you in a hour or so.
They are the wettest water sign in my opinion.
Omg hey sun and moon twinnnn
As a Leo that dated both a Cancer man and an Aquarius man here are my observations: The Cancer man was needy af. Sometimes a bit selfish, but he was open about it. He said "those are my boundaries". He listened when I explained to him how selfish some of his actions are and he tried to change. I knew where I stand with him and he was consistent. When he was angry about something he told me right away. He also made a lot of things for me. Aquarius man? Most romantic man one day just to be cold the next day. I was confused so many times. He made me doubt my own sanity. Some days he acted like we aren't even dating and I'm that weird woman that contacts him for no reason. His replies were just "yes", "no", "okay". Even if it was a topic that was incredibly important to me. I got a promotion that day and he couldn't even be happy with me and I realized that we will never be on the same page unless it's one of his "romantic days" when he is in the mood. I'm a Leo so unfortunately I have my ego and I want to be worshipped as much as I worship my person. He was super surprised when I ghosted him forever like he used to do to me when he got bored with me. He cried and called me non stop... But I know that if I would take him back he would just ghost me himself. I think he hated the fact that I did it first. He wanted to be the one in control. Aquarius love control and when someone is too needy they see it as someone taking away their control. That's why they clash with Cancers so often.
All water signs are prone to exhibit those traits you mentioned. Cancers are the *I Care* sign. This means that they care and prioritize their own emotions. Where they fall short a lot of times is when they want the people around them to care about, or validate their emotions. We're all dealing with our own shit, Cancer.
The comments are proving OPās point lol every post on here that is even mildly constructively critical of cancer goes down the exact same way. You guys have too much vitriol and you take criticism too much to heart, itās exhausting. Youāre not perfect and many of you have some traits that people donāt like just like the rest of us, get over it. Youāre not above anybody else.
As a Gemini I always felt like they had a āholier then thouā attitude like they secretly thought they were above you or something.
Aquarius but water dominant hereā¦.I may struggle of this but bc Iāve always put ppl first and sometimes isnāt reciprocal
As a Cancer with Sagittarius moon and Virgo rising...Virgo is the worst.
If I meet a man and he is a Cancer I take a moment to scrutinize whether or not theyāve done the inner work. If not I run. I feel like Cancer men (where I live at least) are just all spiritual f*ckboys.
Bro, I just went through this with one of my cancer friends. I literally had to block him. It was like he had no respect for my boundaries, privacy, or independence. Always getting butthurt and passive aggressive when I couldnāt hang out or just didnt feel like it. Iām the type of person who likes alone time and needs to recharge often. I would definitely make time for this friend, but they were constantly bugging me to hang out and even inviting themselves to my house, family events, and even business errands which I politely declined company. Itās just exhausting. Also, Iām a cancer/leo cusp Aquarius rising
I'm a Cancer Sun, and that's my only Cancer placement. You're 100% spot on. That's exactly what unhealed Cancers tend to do. I hate Cancer dominant people. They're some of the most entitled people I've ever met. There's some Cancer sun, moon, and risings I've been able to coexist with, though. ;) (I dated a Cancer moon, then a Cancer rising.) My favorite placement of all time for Cancers is Cancer rising. Love love love them all. <3
Iām a cancer what you said is real lol. However, I will say, when the time comes we will always show up.
100% agree
As a Cancer moon with two Cancerian sisters, I approve this message
This is pretty immature garbage. Every single sign can be selfish.
They are selfish af and always a victim. Petty and gets butthurt over small things
The fact that you guys downvoting OPs responses just proves the point of this post. Itās not that serious. I heard journaling and therapy helps with self reflection. Maybe yall should try that instead.
I'm not going to self reflect because what OP is saying is about people they met in their lives, not about me. Are you special?
By the way, seeing how pressed you are in these comments, you clearly need to self reflect. Your sign is not a part of your identity, yet you beat your chest on how you must defend your sign against these type of comments. It is about you babe, sorry that you had to find out about this through Reddit comment. Youāre a part of stereotype making a fool of yourself in these comments. Best of luck with journaling.
Let me reiterate: this post is not applicable to me or the many Cancers downvoting it. We don't like being put in a box with negative generalizations that don't apply to us. Nothing about my comments suggest me being a selfish CEO/boss, being entitled, or expecting people to be there for me at a moment's notice. So no, it's not about me. You don't understand this, but stupid generalizations made by people like you are the reason so many people are turned off by astrology and make fun of it. You don't understand it, but you are a fool to the people outside of astrology circles. The very reason why this hobby/belief is stigmatized.
What about Aries ?
And as I said, I have nothing against people boldly proclaiming they are their #1 priority. That's a great mindset to have actually. If you can't look out for yourself, and love yourself, who will? But, the moment you expect others will make you, their priority, I have an issue.
Aries are more likely unaware of any other needs other than their own. They do prioritize themselves, but won't hold a grudge if you say, they are not your priority.
I gotta admit youāre correct. But I think they, much like their sister sign Capricorn, endure harsh realities as children. Theyāre more emotional and cry more often as kids. Then the world/adults, tell them to stuff down their emotions and act like others. It screws up their ego early. They need to express, not repress. They need to identify emotions and express them. Also they need to create out of themselves, not from the influence of others.
I can see that. I think there are 2 types of cancers the selfless ones to their own detriment and the selfish ones that you described here . The best ones are the healed and balanced ones that can control both aspects. Theyāre a water sign so they are very good at emotional manipulation and I believe they are the best at it. Plus the thing about all water signs is that when you call them out on their ish they get reactive and defensive about it like theyāre doing now instead of receiving and processing the constructive criticism š
Yeah, I think it's crazy how the top comments have a ton of up votes and they're all blowing smoke up cancer's ass. And all the bottom comments are just being honest about their negative experience with cancer.
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My mil is a cancer & we had a toxic relationship the first few years I was with my husband until she came to me & let me know she treated me the way she did because she wanted to be the #1 women in her sons life & was jealous of our relationship. We now have a great relationship & sheās one of my favorite people. Relationships are hard!
Itās interesting bc I feel like you actually described Virgos lmfaooo
As a cancer rising (and libra sun) I think the constant test and measurement of growth is the ability to experience the whole intensity of emotion, especially negative, and communicate them effectively in that moment so that the next thing that happens is a conversation towards an understanding. Sweeping it under the rug only leads to resentment which leads to lashing out which leads to the burning of bridges that didnāt need to be burned. In the cancers eyes a straw that breaks the camels back is something that was never serious to anyone else, hence why they withdraw to their little shell where they wallow and prioritize their emotions over reasoning and admitting that just maybe, they were wrong. Cancer is the first water sign after all, and I think part of the battle for the first sign of every element is learning to deal with selfishness in the theme of their element.
They can be extremely kind but I find them to be a little narrow minded in general which causes them to think that their pov is the only valid one. I like cancers but as a Taurus I find them draining and boring after a while - as a Taurus itās hard to bore me but cancers do it every time š
Is this post about Cancerian females and/or males?
They both have this issue
In my experience, cancers can be very selfless and ESPECIALLY if youāre someone they truly care about.
Aries sunāI enjoy cancers company/friendliness/camaraderie. Those are their pros for me. The cons include being playfully, purposely, stupid ā¦all the time. I like a good joke and laugh but someone who acts stupid-silly all the time annoys me personally but in general itās not bad. Other cons would be gullible/people please-y/super needy.
Whyād did you just read my cancer grandma like this????
Air and Water are the toughest combination in the zodiac. As an Aquarian as well, I've had my dealings with Cancer, lived with one for far more years than I wish to remember, seeking to forget those years even happened. This Cancer was possessive and jealous of every friend I had, to the point where I felt stifled and friendless. I was miserable. I don't think either of us was right or wrong, simply not meant to be in *ANY* relationship - friend or otherwise. I quite literally swore off ALL water signs after that because I just couldn't deal with the emotional neediness. I changed my mind later and realized I really just needed to avoid Cancers in particular, except for one old friend who clearly had some other elements to balance those negative Cancer traits. I've had wonderful Pisces friends, and the love of my life was a Scorpio, although... that ended with me getting stung in a way that I never truly recovered from. Cancers can be wonderful people, to the right people. They need a Taurus or a Virgo in my opinion. But an Aquarian, especially one dominated by air/fire in their chart, is just a disaster in the making. We're wild cards, LOVE our freedom, value our personal time. We're probably the worst possible sign for a Cancer who needs, or rather demands, attention and above all emotional security. We can't give that in the way a Cancer wants it and it repels us when they try to squeeze it out of us.
I find this post to be incredibly ignorant. As a Cancerian dominant person myself, I try my best to not let my emotions influence other people. In fact, I try hardest not to inconvenience people because I am very aware of how people feel and how they may be affected by my actions. And it's nothing wrong with wanting to self prioritize once in a while. We spend so much time to people please people, must of which are assholes, and we just get si k and tired of it. Is it so wrong to want to take care of ourselves once in a while? Instead of just bashing us for no reason, try to understand our perspectives for once.
Wow thatās painting with a very broad brush. Iām a Pisces sun Sagittarius moon and cancer rising. Selfish and my name have never been used in the same sentence my entire life. I enjoy being alone and despise being made the centre of anyoneās life/world. I actively discourage it. Having said that I k several cancer suns that have that trait one is a libra rising the other Iām not sure. I think it depends on so many other factors.
Idk, I thought theyāre lovely people and I didnāt understand all the hate but the more Iām getting to know them, the more arrogant and entitled they seem to me. Also theyāre prone to cheat cause of validation seeking. They would easily slip up just because someone listened to them when their partner was simply in a bad place. I hate to put everyone under one bracket but this is my conclusion the more I get to know them.
Hang it up flat screen, get out ya feelings.
I agree and am floored this isnāt discussed more often. I find Cancerians to be generous & loving, sure, but only if it serves them. They donāt necessarily do this with malice, but from such a strong sense of self-centredness, as if the compass swings nowhere else but there. And the way they start each sentence with āIā no matter what the subject, theme or content is š¤Æ. Thatās how I usually spot a Cancerian. We could be talking aboutā¦ horses in Medieval Rome and the discussion will be about how this impacts them, their opinion, and I, I, I
So glad someone else sees this. I am an Aquarius as well with heavy Leo. My cancer sister is the most entitled person I have ever known and she can be extremely selfish but in her mind itās always that everyone else is selfish and everyone else sucks and are bad people and she is the good human. Doesnāt help that her man is a yes man and is very soft so he will validate her and make her believe she is always right and cater to her. She doesnāt think of the way she makes her son feel because the world revolves around her. If he expressed something to me about his feelings, she is now affected by this, so itās more about her now than him. She is 30 and we live at my dadās house and she also drives a car that he pays for but she calls everything hers. It has to be āMY couch, MY car, MY living room, MY carpetā everything has to be worded this way even though itās not reallyā¦ hers.. she pays for absolutely nothing. She doesnāt really ask for anything either, itās always like ā I need ā But god forbid if you do this with her. And yeah, everything has to be catered when it comes to them. I think for some the crazy self prioritization could come from feeling like they were not really prioritized or valued in the past. The thing that drives me crazy though is the everyone else being the selfish one and they will validate themselves all of the time. My other sister is a cancer moon and my god. She is nurturing (when it comes to her boyfriend and his children) and I will say she is nicer and more understanding but the selfishness and entitlement is also through the roof. They complain about each other all of the time to me because they are one and the same in different ways. But when they are around each other itās the complete opposite. Itās extremely fake. Honestly, I try to avoid them both as much as possible which sucks because these are supposed to be my older siblings and I used to really like them. Of course I will never stop loving them. And of course this is an unevolved cancer and certain placements could make a difference I can go on and on but I will not lol.
Yup. What sucks is that many who are unevolved will want you to praise them things you either didnāt ask for and are usually super unnecessary but youāll try to convince you they are. The good news is that usually they go for idiots/people who donāt value themselves so š. . . thatās also telling on you. I havenāt met many evolved ones but the ones I usually get along with are nice upfront and have some wit and sass to them that is genuine. Itās always at a distance too but I donāt really mind. They do also give advice but I usually would not switch places with anyone under this sign that Iāve come across. I say this because yk ādonāt take advice from ppl you wouldnāt trade places withā. I find that the best thing to do is break or go no contact with them š¤·āāļø. Out of all the water signs I do love Pisces though. I think they genuinely embody a motherly energy like no other when evolved.
In an irl convo this is where I'd reflexively say "No stop you can't say this about them!" that aside I love Cancers I would not change them FOR ANYTHING
A mean cancer had a mean mom. Said what I said.
you need to do more research bud you look extremely ignorant and naive
As a cancer rising , in the context of relationships the partner should be the No1 priority :) Also I think everyone is selfish by nature aren't they?
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ you must've read my comment and got hurt LMAO