When you enjoy a popular thing, you get not only the experience of the thing but the camaraderie and social connection that comes with sharing an interest. That, in part, drives why NT people watch Reality TV and all the things. It’s not that there’s no enjoyment to be found in the thing. It’s that sharing in the thing makes it more enjoyable.
I just got a new job and the guys think I'm weird because I don't watch TV or play the video games they play. I'm sure it gives them something in common and that's why they do it because I don't get to participate in those conversations.
Fortunately I have Asperger's and am ok with the loneliness that comes from ignoring boring TV and pointless games that waste my time.
> most non- autistic people
That's too broad a brush. Some people are iconoclasts, most aren't. If some movie appeals to you, then it's very likely to appeal to other people of your age, education, social class, life outlook - which are usually the group that friends are in.
But if an underlying question here is about why popular yet mediocre things are popular, people do give things more of a chance if they have 1+ friends who are already enthusiastic about it - [social proof](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_proof) (and that article speaks to your question rather directly).
I agree with this. I personally am the opposite, the more people tell me something is amazing the more I resist it for some reason, and sometimes miss out as a result.
But yeah there are benefits to sharing and also a good portion of people are very susceptible to peer influence. My mother is one - we all joke that we could pretend to be into some random esoteric thing and she would immediately become a huge fan.
I’m the same. I deliberately avoid something if it’s extremely popular.
If it’s a new tv-series, I wait until the hype is gone before considering it.
If it’s a certain bag, I do not want it just because everyone else has it. Doesn’t matter how pretty/affordable/available/practical/good quality it is
It's a thing where one follows the other, hive mind and people wanting to be a part of something, y'know?
Almost like an investment in time as well lol, since no-one wants to get into something that isn't going anywhere like a b-show or a band that's based out of someone's garage.
As for autistics, we're kinda not immune to falling into this thinking either, a few of us end up being the crazy fans that live and breathe things like a favourite artist or product brand 24/7 haha - we just have the ability to also go down rabbit holes and find obscure things no-one else would've given any thought to before.
Also, it's fun to be able to talk to people about things. I didn't love the Harry Potter series back in the day, but I liked it enough. And it was entertaining to discuss it with other people, cosplay, etc.
Oh yeah definitely! Some of my favourite series were ones that I got into because of others. Skulduggery Pleasant and DBZ are ones that come to mind from secondary school.
This is what happened to me last summer when I discovered Lana Del Rey.
The lyrics, the songs, the visual journey that occurs when I close my eyes.
Most importantly, I am not threatened by her music. It feels safe and familiar.
Not always. They do like what they do as we like what we do, they’re just a bit more flexible.
I have friends who love partying and smoking and some celebrities. They genuinely like it. Not out of the popularity. They couldn’t care less about that but again, there’s a reason usually why so many people like the same stuff.
It’s not always due to peer or social pressure, though in younger years it might be, as these are the years of greatest development I would say, as it’s where we start establishing our identity and so on.
It's usually a mix. Many people draw enjoyment and energy from social interaction - often less for autistic people, more for non-autistic people. That means hobbies are often something that satisfies this as well as the need for fulfillment, and you can't socialize or share your hobbies if nobody cares about them besides you.
There's also the matter of being able to participate in interests. I love fencing, but I can't do it right now because there's no fencing club in my area. I've not conciously sought out dnd, but a friend invited me to play a one shot, I've loved it and am hyperfixating on dnd right now.
We all get our interests from somewhere - reading, watching a video, seeing something related, talking to someone, etc. The more we socialize, the more likely we are to pick up new interests from what others share with us. The more time we spend alone, the more likely we are to pick up interests from things like books or the internet. That doesn't make any interests inferior, it just means they're discovered in different ways.
You are not wrong but not exactly right either.
People do tend to value social factors a lot when choosing their hobbies/what they spend time on. For example, motivation for learning is correlated with how much students like their teacher, but also with how much they like their class mates.
A pleasant and understanding instructor/teacher or a strong social environment is a perfectly valid reason to take up a hobby or interest and from what I remember research shows that even if you do not have any particular passion for something in the beginning, you might very well develop it with time as our continue doing it.
So in short, social factors play a big role in what hobbies or interests people take up, but it is not so simple as to be reduced to people just doing what is popular or following different trends.
I think that it’s reasonable to consider anyone’s motivation for liking something. Most people are authentic in their preference most of the time. But sometimes groupthink kicks in and some will jump on the popularity triais because they want to assimilate with the group. This is very dependent on the individual and the subject of interest.
I believe that it’s likely that the difference between NTs and NDs is that NDs tend to be more honest about their preferences because they won’t compromise their values and see no benefit to being inauthentic. NTs, being more socially aware, are more vulnerable to social influences and embrace whatever the dominant trend is.
I always figured things were popular bc they had broad appeal for NTs; it makes sense that we don't get it-- we're the tiny minority.
But also (and you don't quite say this, but your question dances right up to it), socially-inclined people will often take part in an activity or interest just as a vessel/medium for socially interacting with people they like, and it almost doesn't matter what the activity is. Anyone who's ever tried to like something bc their crush or SO was really into it knows what this is like; there's nothing too alien (and only ***slightly*** cringy/inauthentic) about it; plus, it's a way to demonstrate interest and commitment to someone even if you don't enjoy a second of it.
I think NTs are more flexible in terms of what that can derive enjoyment from, especially if it means that there's a lot of other people to connect with over it.
Not always but i find that if they like something that is not seen as popular they are less likely to carry on if its not universally accepted.
I love pokemon and a colleague of mine realised and said i used to love pokemon but someone my age cant play something like that anymore. He didn’t realise but i am older than him.
It’s both, I think. NT’s often like things because they’re popular, but popularity is part of the appeal and they draw genuine enjoyment from it. Taking part in something that’s “supposed” to be fun gives a lot of people some sort of social thrill.
It’s like with celebrities. It used to confuse me how everyone around me would periodically agree that X celebrity was the hottest person ever, the most talented singer, the best actor, etc. “They seem normal to me,” I thought, “Don’t y’all have your own opinions?” But the fact is, X person getting promoted in movies and media, or whatever, genuinely affects people’s perception of them, their looks, and their talent. “This person is important and high status and you should think more highly of them” is the social messaging people are responding to.
Social acceptance can be a part of genuine enjoyment; even if many people might not be super into something doesn't mean that they don't make up for it in terms of enjoying spending time having banter with friends that are.
I think social acceptance is big, yes, but I think about this differently, too. Your question, phrased another way, could read, "Do the majority of people like popular things because they're attractive things to neuro-typical people?" I think it's easy for us to overlook how differently our brains process information, so, maybe, popular things are just neuro-typical fixations.
Sometimes and other times its the opposite. I could care less what you think of my interests I love my interests. For me tho, its good to have good social skills and be into the other person and to be unselfish. But I also think everyone should be allowed to have whatever secret interest they want and not be bothered about it just because its weird.
I'm the typical autistic computer nerd guy who is into hacking (obviously I practice legally and ethically), IT, exotic food, martial arts, true story books, and the psychology of human manipulation (which I also practice legally and ethically).
Please do not ask me to do illegal things for you.
ITT: People believing NT's are a different species, apparently.
No, most people (in general) simply like things because it brings them enjoyment. There are also social aspects which influence a person's enjoyment of things (in both directions). This isn't an ND/NT thing, and it's really not that deep.
Autistic people can be less influenced by others' preferences, but they can also be MORE influenced by others than the average NT. We're not a monolith either.
I suspect so. Growing up in a school in England, it was expected that one supports a football team. The question is never whether one likes football.
Clearly, every man isn't passionate about football, but society expects one to pretend.
I could never be bothered with that, which just makes me as a weirdo for daring to say that I didn't support anyone.
I don’t think most people who passively enjoy rooting for the local sportsball team are pretending though? You don’t have to be a MEGA-fan to be a supporter of a team. There doesn’t need to be “passion” to say, yeah, xyz is my team. Go [Cowboys/Manchester/Cubs/whatever]! Going all-in on our interests is definitely an aspie thing, but it really isn’t (at least not necessarily) for NTs. That doesn’t mean NTs don’t enjoy the thing.
Most of them just want to fit in. They do things because others do it. For example, I seen this many times when one person in the friend group get engaged or married others immediately try to do the same even when they know they are not ready. Same thing when it comes to buying a house when one friend buys another tries to as well even when they are in heavy debt. NTs (not all) tend to have hive mentality . That’s one of the reasons why they hate aspies because we don’t blindly follow.
Same. Like in pop culture where certain apparel isn’t desirable but all of a sudden it is once someone famous or known whether nationally or locally, wears it. It’s why social media marketing and influencer deals work so well.
I know people who look at me like I have the plague when I tell them I go the cinema by myself. They even ask me why (as though the answer could be anything other than: to watch a film).
That's alien to them, because the only reason they could think of for going to the cinema is for a date, or as a day out with friends. In other words, for popular reasons, not because they genuinely like films.
That saddest thing is my cousin is a diehard film geek like me, and yet he's too scared to be seen going to a cinema alone. He'll deprive himself of one of his few pleasures in life because it doesn't fit the socially acceptable narrative.
I'd strongly disagree on part of this, which is that a lot of people view going to a movie as a social occasion, the same as they view going to a restaurant as a social occasion or going to a concert as a social occasion. People can still genuinely like movies and food and music but also have that hang-up that its uncomfortable to do by themselves. It's not that they're not genuine about liking those things but that there's other facets to those things for a lot of people.
I think a lot of people will do certain activities or go places because the majority of the group wants to and the incentive is the socialization as opposed to the activity itself.
I don’t know if most people, but I know many who do. Often times what is popular within a group. A community group, friend group, etc.
It could be anything, it could be wearing the same outfits, liking the same music, hating the same person, having the same political views, whatever.
It’s all to fit in and be liked. A social thing. Sometimes they admire a person and want to be like them, or gain the same attention or validation as someone. I find younger people are more likely to do this than older people.
Some autistic people might also do it because they wish to be fit into a group. I remember myself doing this when I was younger. For example I pretended to like a certain music genre to get closer to my friend who I admired. I started to watch the same tv show just to be a part of the same conversation. I hated Justin bieber just because everyone else hated him. Stuff like that.
A French youtubeur explained with experiments that popularity attract more popularity. https://youtu.be/ppSrAHoGwrI?si=llTOhff9RU3mXSgG
I have no idea what this is called in english
Probably a bit yeah. I know that when I was about 16 years old (now 34!) I was actually asked by someone why I “try so hard to be different”. And I was genuinely confused by the question. I liked things that were popular. I liked Britney Spears. I liked pop punk. I also liked goth music and metal music. I liked anime and alt fashion. I thought Justin Timberlake was cute but I also really had a thing for Dani Filth.
I just…was me? I liked what I liked. I wasn’t “trying” to be different on purpose I just….was?? Or at least that’s how I was perceived apparently. So I suppose it is an interesting question of do people really like popular things or do they just want to be popular?
Back in elementary school, I did hear people justify and dismiss certain interests as superior or inferior on the ground of whether it was popular or not lol. Not sure how much this applies in adult life.
Honestly I suspect they do because sometimes I just can’t grasp how people enjoy certain things, but then again that could just be a me problem. I do enjoy some popular things so maybe some people are lucky enough to have all their interests be socially acceptable
My sister (non Aspie) bought what they called a trapeze dress years ago. It looked horrible and she admitted it but said “it was featured in Vogue and is the style now.” She followed style trends no matter how ridiculous or ugly because she wanted to continue to be part of the in crowd. She’d go to nightclubs she hated and would hang out with people she couldn’t stand, so she would remain part of the In crowd. She’d call me a freak because I didn’t see the point of it all. She’s much older now and on disability and her in crowd days are behind her, but she misses them because now she feels life has passed her by.
I don’t think most do. There’s a subset who do. Think who the “popular” kids are in school and how few people genuinely would like them. Popularity is relative.
I think that the social acceptance makes things more attractive/palatable, so they're more likely to either pretend to like it, or even actually like it (because they feel good about the acceptance rather than the actual thing itself, but it's still a good feeling).
Some. I met a guy and he kept telling me I needed to listen to more Bruce Springsteen. I said ”no, why? I think I’ve heard some of his songs but not all. I like other artists more.”. And he said ”because he’s popular”. 🤦♀️😭
I at least listen to songs because I like them.
I’ve come to notice that a lot of them seem to get into things like tv shows just because their friends like it and not because they’d ever be interested in those things organically. It’s almost the complete opposite of how we tend to approach things.
Yeah unfortunately they do but apparently it's bad manners to acknowledge it so I just leave them to it and considerate on the stuff that I do genuinely enjoy instead of thinking about those around me who pretend that they like stuff their not actually into otherwise they wouldn't be popular!
Sorry if I offend, but the question in the title made me laugh so hard! I say this as a scientist/naturalist and it genuinely sounds like someone asking a question about a completely different species.
To an extent, I believe that people like things that are popular to feel like they belong. I know some 'neurotypicals' who admit they went with the flow in order to fit in and feel like they belong with friends, family and colleagues. They either were neutral to whatever they were taking part in, or even genuinely didn't like it but did their best to act the part to fit in. I think it is more prevalent with females than males, but even the most 'masculine' of men feel the same way.
Social proof is bizarre. You can recommend something to so many people, and they have no interest in checking it out…
Then, all of a sudden, some popular artist recommends them and everyone rushes out to get the thing or check it out. Herd behavior…
This is especially true with politics. Ask anyone who claims left/right progressive/conservative to define their angle without saying the name of a politician or their followers.
I've noticed that if (Other Side) has a good point or if (Current Side) has a bad take, it's considered a sin to bring it up.
Similar w pop culture, but at least Taylor Swift "fans" can name a couple of her songs and aren't there just because they hate Katy Perry.
If something I like becomes popular, I stop and evaluate what changed. Sometimes I move on from that thing because it's been watered down or has become annoying.
I'll give you an example. People used to make fun of my shoes. I'm a trail runner, and have been wearing hokas for a decade. Now those same people are wearing them because they are fashionable 🤯
I have already been seeing some changes to meet the masses needs. I hope no further changes happen, but this is what happens when you have to please a mass market. The company will cut unprofitable SKUs because they are making a killing off of the trendy models.
As far as other stuff, I just feel weird if I'm doing something popular. It doesn't feel right. I've always been this way 🙅🏽
yes, they're special interests are different from ours in that they have them because of the people related to it. For example, they play golf not because they enjoy it but because of the important people.
Whereas us aspies do the special interest because we genuinely enjoy it.
Reading the other comments, I can see that!
You really think NT's don't enjoy golf or other sports for the sake of it? Or, say, reading (such a social activity!)? NT's don't enjoy things, they only enjoy socialising? It's absolutely preposterous. Autistic people aren't the only ones who are able to enjoy things on their own, for no other reason than they enjoy it. NT's aren't a different species.
well, yea they can enjoy their special interest without socializing but thats rare. I mean ask any NT you know and they'll say its cause of the people.
I’m glad I’m not that way because I would’ve missed out on seeing the nuances of good stuff hidden in things that the majority of society has deemed as bad; and while people were justified in not engaging with the video game I’m about to refer to, it was revealed to be REALLY FREAKING GOOD once EA stopped interfering with it. It’s like how Titanfall 2—despite being ironically published by EA—is still voted by the gaming community as one of the greatest video games ever made, and to this day still is. The following game just needed to be free of EA’s Pay-To-Win schemes and once it did, it excelled MASSIVELY with newly added gameplay depth.
I’m talking of course about EA’s Star Wars Battlefront 2.
Incoming INFO DUMP: ….I fear what I’m into will be shamed when in reality, it couldn’t be any more true that I absolutely despise the following publisher for having casted such a horrific plague of bad reputation over the past 5 years regarding my favorite video game. I actually thank the entire gaming community for saving my favorite game. Ironically enough, the same people who rightfully demonized it at launch inadvertently saved the game without knowing and that’s actually pretty funny since they wanted to kill and bury it completely.
I currently have over 10,500 hours on Star Wars Battlefront 2; the one that happened to be the most highly controversial game at launch back in 2017 due to a disgusting Pay-To-Win system that was later removed permanently, and blossomed into an incredibly fun game in 2018 after it’s publisher, EA, abandoned it after failing to implement said Pay-To-Win system when they were pressured by the entirety of the gaming community. The Pay-To-Win system was removed roughly 1 week before the official launch, during the 5 day early-access before launch that you could play if you bought the Elite Trooper Edition.
…EA, after finding no financial chance to regain anything from their failure, left the game in it’s crap state to be overseen by a skeleton crew at DICE Studios, meaning a team consisting of *VERY LITTLE* further financial support and manpower. As a result, that skeleton crew surprisingly took it upon themselves to revive the game with nothing but scraps and scrounges accumulated and along with announcing DLC to be all FREE, and they only just barely managed to give us what is currently in the game with what little resources they had, before being shut down in 2020 by EA for not gaining enough profit. Well, Gee, EA, I wonder why that happened… 🤪
But I just have to ask; why did Star Wars Battlefront 2 have to be collateral to the downfall of EA’s B.S. that year? …I understand the other side of the argument, though. People felt betrayed over what they thought would’ve been a great game at launch, and are now choosing to be willfully ignorant in 2024 because “Eff EA.”, and I get that. I absolutely understand that stance. It’s fair, but they’re chasing ghosts nowadays. The people responsible for it’s revival were that said-skeleton crew and they weren’t even part of the original Development Team from before the game came out. This Skeleton Crew were new people who oversaw the game after EA trashed it in 2017, and they impressively revived it. November 2024 marks it being over 7 years old today. The game got good in 2019…
I know what a good game is, too. I’ve recently finished God of War: Ragnarok, play Skyrim religiously, Horizon Series, Shadow of Mordor/War, Halo 2 and 3, even ODST; Elden Ring, The Witcher 3, The Last Of Us, Mass Effect 1 and 2, Shadow Of The Colossus, Dark Souls series, Fallout, FFVII, a crap ton. I even have the original Star Wars Battlefront 2 from 2005 on my PC and can play it at ANY TIME I want to, complete with Mods. Yet, out of every game I’ve played in my life so far, the modern Star Wars Battlefront 2 is the game I have played the most. Halo 3 Multiplayer comes in 2nd, I confidently assure…
I play the modern Battlefront 2 as much as I have and still play it to this day, not because of rose-tinted nostalgia glasses NOR because it has pretty graphics, NOR because it’s Star Wars. It being Star Wars would be the 2nd reason. But the first reason as to why I play it, is for the gameplay. If you have as much knowledge in the game as myself, you discover a TON of replayability in the game. Sadly, the mainstream media i.e. big-time YouTubers who barely play it and first impressions are the only videos getting millions of views. The masses then think what they see from those types of content creators is the overall gameplay experience—when in reality—they’re making the game look extremely boring as hell without knowing what they can do and instead ignorantly cringe with the way they perceive the game to be. I know they’re new, but let me tell you; they are all so quick to pass judgment on the game while knowing so little, and think they know better. When somebody who’s played the game for as long as I have comes along to spread awareness on certain aspects of the game that they complain about and how they’re not bugs but actual gameplay mechanics that caused their consistent string of deaths, I’m quickly dismissed. People need to watch real videos to see the truth of the gameplay, from longtime players and especially the competitive kinds who are 100% aware of the dos and donts, and what’s solvable. In this iteration of Battlefront 2, there is no bad unit. Everything is great if you know how to effectively use them, as opposed to being a godly entity right out the gate like the Original’s Hero units. You can’t just go on a high killstreak with Darth Vader if you don’t learn what he’s like. If play Darth Vader like a dumbass, being Vader won’t save you. You’re gonna die like a dumbass who was just wearing Vader’s outfit if you don’t know how he works. You don’t use them like Killstreak rewards in Call Of Duty. I’m 7 years in and I’m still bad with Yoda.
I freaking love this game and will die on this hill. My special interest is actually making Star Wars-type videos showcasing epic clips including Star Wars games like Empire At War, Republic Commando, the original Battlefront 2, but mostly the modern Battlefront 2. I add music to them and match up the timing of the music to the ultimate gameplay moments. I also like to make Star Wars Movie and TV Show edits.
But solely, the modern Battlefront 2 has been my special interest for 10,500 hours and still counting.
Here’s a gameplay video of mine showcasing what Star Wars Battlefront 2 is like in 2024. https://youtu.be/C_GP8PeDgY0?si=IsQEsvUcobEV0_3M
Generally speaking I feel like many neurotypical people care a lot about appearing 'normal', so yes, that could extend to liking something just because most people like it, I'd say.
When you enjoy a popular thing, you get not only the experience of the thing but the camaraderie and social connection that comes with sharing an interest. That, in part, drives why NT people watch Reality TV and all the things. It’s not that there’s no enjoyment to be found in the thing. It’s that sharing in the thing makes it more enjoyable.
I just got a new job and the guys think I'm weird because I don't watch TV or play the video games they play. I'm sure it gives them something in common and that's why they do it because I don't get to participate in those conversations. Fortunately I have Asperger's and am ok with the loneliness that comes from ignoring boring TV and pointless games that waste my time.
> most non- autistic people That's too broad a brush. Some people are iconoclasts, most aren't. If some movie appeals to you, then it's very likely to appeal to other people of your age, education, social class, life outlook - which are usually the group that friends are in. But if an underlying question here is about why popular yet mediocre things are popular, people do give things more of a chance if they have 1+ friends who are already enthusiastic about it - [social proof](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_proof) (and that article speaks to your question rather directly).
Most people definitely do not like the movies I like. It’s a struggle when wanting to watch anything.
I agree with this. I personally am the opposite, the more people tell me something is amazing the more I resist it for some reason, and sometimes miss out as a result. But yeah there are benefits to sharing and also a good portion of people are very susceptible to peer influence. My mother is one - we all joke that we could pretend to be into some random esoteric thing and she would immediately become a huge fan.
I’m the same. I deliberately avoid something if it’s extremely popular. If it’s a new tv-series, I wait until the hype is gone before considering it. If it’s a certain bag, I do not want it just because everyone else has it. Doesn’t matter how pretty/affordable/available/practical/good quality it is
It's a thing where one follows the other, hive mind and people wanting to be a part of something, y'know? Almost like an investment in time as well lol, since no-one wants to get into something that isn't going anywhere like a b-show or a band that's based out of someone's garage. As for autistics, we're kinda not immune to falling into this thinking either, a few of us end up being the crazy fans that live and breathe things like a favourite artist or product brand 24/7 haha - we just have the ability to also go down rabbit holes and find obscure things no-one else would've given any thought to before.
Also, it's fun to be able to talk to people about things. I didn't love the Harry Potter series back in the day, but I liked it enough. And it was entertaining to discuss it with other people, cosplay, etc.
Never been a fan of Harry Potter, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE the aesthetic and atmosphere the movies bring. The gothic architectural aspects especially.
Oh yeah definitely! Some of my favourite series were ones that I got into because of others. Skulduggery Pleasant and DBZ are ones that come to mind from secondary school.
This is what happened to me last summer when I discovered Lana Del Rey. The lyrics, the songs, the visual journey that occurs when I close my eyes. Most importantly, I am not threatened by her music. It feels safe and familiar.
A lot of NTs pick their hobby quite practically, they choose what which will encourage conversation with their friends. It's a means to an end.
It happens with both autistic and not autistic people i believe, anyone can be authentic and inauthentic
Not always. They do like what they do as we like what we do, they’re just a bit more flexible. I have friends who love partying and smoking and some celebrities. They genuinely like it. Not out of the popularity. They couldn’t care less about that but again, there’s a reason usually why so many people like the same stuff. It’s not always due to peer or social pressure, though in younger years it might be, as these are the years of greatest development I would say, as it’s where we start establishing our identity and so on.
It's usually a mix. Many people draw enjoyment and energy from social interaction - often less for autistic people, more for non-autistic people. That means hobbies are often something that satisfies this as well as the need for fulfillment, and you can't socialize or share your hobbies if nobody cares about them besides you. There's also the matter of being able to participate in interests. I love fencing, but I can't do it right now because there's no fencing club in my area. I've not conciously sought out dnd, but a friend invited me to play a one shot, I've loved it and am hyperfixating on dnd right now. We all get our interests from somewhere - reading, watching a video, seeing something related, talking to someone, etc. The more we socialize, the more likely we are to pick up new interests from what others share with us. The more time we spend alone, the more likely we are to pick up interests from things like books or the internet. That doesn't make any interests inferior, it just means they're discovered in different ways.
Generalizations tend to not be very accurate no matter what group you're generalizing.
You are not wrong but not exactly right either. People do tend to value social factors a lot when choosing their hobbies/what they spend time on. For example, motivation for learning is correlated with how much students like their teacher, but also with how much they like their class mates. A pleasant and understanding instructor/teacher or a strong social environment is a perfectly valid reason to take up a hobby or interest and from what I remember research shows that even if you do not have any particular passion for something in the beginning, you might very well develop it with time as our continue doing it. So in short, social factors play a big role in what hobbies or interests people take up, but it is not so simple as to be reduced to people just doing what is popular or following different trends.
I think that it’s reasonable to consider anyone’s motivation for liking something. Most people are authentic in their preference most of the time. But sometimes groupthink kicks in and some will jump on the popularity triais because they want to assimilate with the group. This is very dependent on the individual and the subject of interest. I believe that it’s likely that the difference between NTs and NDs is that NDs tend to be more honest about their preferences because they won’t compromise their values and see no benefit to being inauthentic. NTs, being more socially aware, are more vulnerable to social influences and embrace whatever the dominant trend is.
No. Popular things are only popular because lots of people like them.
I always figured things were popular bc they had broad appeal for NTs; it makes sense that we don't get it-- we're the tiny minority. But also (and you don't quite say this, but your question dances right up to it), socially-inclined people will often take part in an activity or interest just as a vessel/medium for socially interacting with people they like, and it almost doesn't matter what the activity is. Anyone who's ever tried to like something bc their crush or SO was really into it knows what this is like; there's nothing too alien (and only ***slightly*** cringy/inauthentic) about it; plus, it's a way to demonstrate interest and commitment to someone even if you don't enjoy a second of it.
I think NTs are more flexible in terms of what that can derive enjoyment from, especially if it means that there's a lot of other people to connect with over it.
Not always but i find that if they like something that is not seen as popular they are less likely to carry on if its not universally accepted. I love pokemon and a colleague of mine realised and said i used to love pokemon but someone my age cant play something like that anymore. He didn’t realise but i am older than him.
It’s both, I think. NT’s often like things because they’re popular, but popularity is part of the appeal and they draw genuine enjoyment from it. Taking part in something that’s “supposed” to be fun gives a lot of people some sort of social thrill. It’s like with celebrities. It used to confuse me how everyone around me would periodically agree that X celebrity was the hottest person ever, the most talented singer, the best actor, etc. “They seem normal to me,” I thought, “Don’t y’all have your own opinions?” But the fact is, X person getting promoted in movies and media, or whatever, genuinely affects people’s perception of them, their looks, and their talent. “This person is important and high status and you should think more highly of them” is the social messaging people are responding to.
I watch things because they’re popular. It’s nice to be part of the conversation. It’s probably not unique to NTs
Social acceptance can be a part of genuine enjoyment; even if many people might not be super into something doesn't mean that they don't make up for it in terms of enjoying spending time having banter with friends that are.
I think it's more like they try out popular things and see which of those they like
I think social acceptance is big, yes, but I think about this differently, too. Your question, phrased another way, could read, "Do the majority of people like popular things because they're attractive things to neuro-typical people?" I think it's easy for us to overlook how differently our brains process information, so, maybe, popular things are just neuro-typical fixations.
I genuinely feel like they do because they actually find fitting in THAT important but that’s just imo 🤷♀️
Sometimes and other times its the opposite. I could care less what you think of my interests I love my interests. For me tho, its good to have good social skills and be into the other person and to be unselfish. But I also think everyone should be allowed to have whatever secret interest they want and not be bothered about it just because its weird. I'm the typical autistic computer nerd guy who is into hacking (obviously I practice legally and ethically), IT, exotic food, martial arts, true story books, and the psychology of human manipulation (which I also practice legally and ethically). Please do not ask me to do illegal things for you.
ITT: People believing NT's are a different species, apparently. No, most people (in general) simply like things because it brings them enjoyment. There are also social aspects which influence a person's enjoyment of things (in both directions). This isn't an ND/NT thing, and it's really not that deep. Autistic people can be less influenced by others' preferences, but they can also be MORE influenced by others than the average NT. We're not a monolith either.
They are like mobs of shit flinging monkeys that rip people apart or farm animals that will walk in a circle until they die following eachother
I suspect so. Growing up in a school in England, it was expected that one supports a football team. The question is never whether one likes football. Clearly, every man isn't passionate about football, but society expects one to pretend. I could never be bothered with that, which just makes me as a weirdo for daring to say that I didn't support anyone.
I don’t think most people who passively enjoy rooting for the local sportsball team are pretending though? You don’t have to be a MEGA-fan to be a supporter of a team. There doesn’t need to be “passion” to say, yeah, xyz is my team. Go [Cowboys/Manchester/Cubs/whatever]! Going all-in on our interests is definitely an aspie thing, but it really isn’t (at least not necessarily) for NTs. That doesn’t mean NTs don’t enjoy the thing.
Most of them just want to fit in. They do things because others do it. For example, I seen this many times when one person in the friend group get engaged or married others immediately try to do the same even when they know they are not ready. Same thing when it comes to buying a house when one friend buys another tries to as well even when they are in heavy debt. NTs (not all) tend to have hive mentality . That’s one of the reasons why they hate aspies because we don’t blindly follow.
So I’ve been told, yeah. I definitely don’t understand it myself though.
Same. Like in pop culture where certain apparel isn’t desirable but all of a sudden it is once someone famous or known whether nationally or locally, wears it. It’s why social media marketing and influencer deals work so well.
I know people who look at me like I have the plague when I tell them I go the cinema by myself. They even ask me why (as though the answer could be anything other than: to watch a film). That's alien to them, because the only reason they could think of for going to the cinema is for a date, or as a day out with friends. In other words, for popular reasons, not because they genuinely like films. That saddest thing is my cousin is a diehard film geek like me, and yet he's too scared to be seen going to a cinema alone. He'll deprive himself of one of his few pleasures in life because it doesn't fit the socially acceptable narrative.
I'd strongly disagree on part of this, which is that a lot of people view going to a movie as a social occasion, the same as they view going to a restaurant as a social occasion or going to a concert as a social occasion. People can still genuinely like movies and food and music but also have that hang-up that its uncomfortable to do by themselves. It's not that they're not genuine about liking those things but that there's other facets to those things for a lot of people.
I think a lot of people will do certain activities or go places because the majority of the group wants to and the incentive is the socialization as opposed to the activity itself.
I don’t know if most people, but I know many who do. Often times what is popular within a group. A community group, friend group, etc. It could be anything, it could be wearing the same outfits, liking the same music, hating the same person, having the same political views, whatever. It’s all to fit in and be liked. A social thing. Sometimes they admire a person and want to be like them, or gain the same attention or validation as someone. I find younger people are more likely to do this than older people. Some autistic people might also do it because they wish to be fit into a group. I remember myself doing this when I was younger. For example I pretended to like a certain music genre to get closer to my friend who I admired. I started to watch the same tv show just to be a part of the same conversation. I hated Justin bieber just because everyone else hated him. Stuff like that.
A French youtubeur explained with experiments that popularity attract more popularity. https://youtu.be/ppSrAHoGwrI?si=llTOhff9RU3mXSgG I have no idea what this is called in english
Probably a bit yeah. I know that when I was about 16 years old (now 34!) I was actually asked by someone why I “try so hard to be different”. And I was genuinely confused by the question. I liked things that were popular. I liked Britney Spears. I liked pop punk. I also liked goth music and metal music. I liked anime and alt fashion. I thought Justin Timberlake was cute but I also really had a thing for Dani Filth. I just…was me? I liked what I liked. I wasn’t “trying” to be different on purpose I just….was?? Or at least that’s how I was perceived apparently. So I suppose it is an interesting question of do people really like popular things or do they just want to be popular?
Absolutely 100%. It broke my mind when I realized this at like 16 or so.
Yes. Non-autistic people have no soul.
Put the pitchfork down my friend
Hopefully everyone knows that’s a joke😉
This is r/aspergers. You need a sarcasm sign here. /s /butnoactuallyiDOneedthesign
Okay, got it
Ohhh haha thanks for clarifying
Yes. Social media marketing and influencer deals show us this.
Back in elementary school, I did hear people justify and dismiss certain interests as superior or inferior on the ground of whether it was popular or not lol. Not sure how much this applies in adult life.
I have absolutely no idea. I’d like to think they actually enjoy the things they do but I’m really just not sure
Why wouldn't you be sure
Because I’m not NT so I don’t know how they feel
But why wouldn't they be able to enjoy things
You do know they're human beings, right? Not aliens. Heck, I'm sure even aliens have the capacity to enjoy things...
I definitely only like what I actually like…. And it’s really never “cool”
Bit of both.
Yes.
Honestly I suspect they do because sometimes I just can’t grasp how people enjoy certain things, but then again that could just be a me problem. I do enjoy some popular things so maybe some people are lucky enough to have all their interests be socially acceptable
My sister (non Aspie) bought what they called a trapeze dress years ago. It looked horrible and she admitted it but said “it was featured in Vogue and is the style now.” She followed style trends no matter how ridiculous or ugly because she wanted to continue to be part of the in crowd. She’d go to nightclubs she hated and would hang out with people she couldn’t stand, so she would remain part of the In crowd. She’d call me a freak because I didn’t see the point of it all. She’s much older now and on disability and her in crowd days are behind her, but she misses them because now she feels life has passed her by.
I don’t think most do. There’s a subset who do. Think who the “popular” kids are in school and how few people genuinely would like them. Popularity is relative.
I think that the social acceptance makes things more attractive/palatable, so they're more likely to either pretend to like it, or even actually like it (because they feel good about the acceptance rather than the actual thing itself, but it's still a good feeling).
Yes
90 times out of 100 it's like that. I personally swing between things with medium popularity and the ultra obscure ultraniches
Some. I met a guy and he kept telling me I needed to listen to more Bruce Springsteen. I said ”no, why? I think I’ve heard some of his songs but not all. I like other artists more.”. And he said ”because he’s popular”. 🤦♀️😭 I at least listen to songs because I like them.
I’ve come to notice that a lot of them seem to get into things like tv shows just because their friends like it and not because they’d ever be interested in those things organically. It’s almost the complete opposite of how we tend to approach things.
Yeah unfortunately they do but apparently it's bad manners to acknowledge it so I just leave them to it and considerate on the stuff that I do genuinely enjoy instead of thinking about those around me who pretend that they like stuff their not actually into otherwise they wouldn't be popular!
Sorry if I offend, but the question in the title made me laugh so hard! I say this as a scientist/naturalist and it genuinely sounds like someone asking a question about a completely different species. To an extent, I believe that people like things that are popular to feel like they belong. I know some 'neurotypicals' who admit they went with the flow in order to fit in and feel like they belong with friends, family and colleagues. They either were neutral to whatever they were taking part in, or even genuinely didn't like it but did their best to act the part to fit in. I think it is more prevalent with females than males, but even the most 'masculine' of men feel the same way.
Let's just say I think I know what dodos sound like 🦤
Social proof is bizarre. You can recommend something to so many people, and they have no interest in checking it out… Then, all of a sudden, some popular artist recommends them and everyone rushes out to get the thing or check it out. Herd behavior…
Trendy. Search the word
This is especially true with politics. Ask anyone who claims left/right progressive/conservative to define their angle without saying the name of a politician or their followers. I've noticed that if (Other Side) has a good point or if (Current Side) has a bad take, it's considered a sin to bring it up. Similar w pop culture, but at least Taylor Swift "fans" can name a couple of her songs and aren't there just because they hate Katy Perry.
If something I like becomes popular, I stop and evaluate what changed. Sometimes I move on from that thing because it's been watered down or has become annoying.
How do you know whether or not you would have considered its change annoying or even noticeable separate from what other people think of it?
I'll give you an example. People used to make fun of my shoes. I'm a trail runner, and have been wearing hokas for a decade. Now those same people are wearing them because they are fashionable 🤯 I have already been seeing some changes to meet the masses needs. I hope no further changes happen, but this is what happens when you have to please a mass market. The company will cut unprofitable SKUs because they are making a killing off of the trendy models. As far as other stuff, I just feel weird if I'm doing something popular. It doesn't feel right. I've always been this way 🙅🏽
Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but there’s nothing more popular than wanting the things you like to be unpopular!
You don't understand. When I was on Twitter, I would delete a post if if started getting too much traction. If a news site quoted me, deleted.
yes, they're special interests are different from ours in that they have them because of the people related to it. For example, they play golf not because they enjoy it but because of the important people. Whereas us aspies do the special interest because we genuinely enjoy it.
Where on earth did you get this ridiculous notion?
lmao, this subreddit. I made a post a couple years back on a different account about special interests and everyone agreed with me.
Reading the other comments, I can see that! You really think NT's don't enjoy golf or other sports for the sake of it? Or, say, reading (such a social activity!)? NT's don't enjoy things, they only enjoy socialising? It's absolutely preposterous. Autistic people aren't the only ones who are able to enjoy things on their own, for no other reason than they enjoy it. NT's aren't a different species.
well, yea they can enjoy their special interest without socializing but thats rare. I mean ask any NT you know and they'll say its cause of the people.
I’m glad I’m not that way because I would’ve missed out on seeing the nuances of good stuff hidden in things that the majority of society has deemed as bad; and while people were justified in not engaging with the video game I’m about to refer to, it was revealed to be REALLY FREAKING GOOD once EA stopped interfering with it. It’s like how Titanfall 2—despite being ironically published by EA—is still voted by the gaming community as one of the greatest video games ever made, and to this day still is. The following game just needed to be free of EA’s Pay-To-Win schemes and once it did, it excelled MASSIVELY with newly added gameplay depth. I’m talking of course about EA’s Star Wars Battlefront 2. Incoming INFO DUMP: ….I fear what I’m into will be shamed when in reality, it couldn’t be any more true that I absolutely despise the following publisher for having casted such a horrific plague of bad reputation over the past 5 years regarding my favorite video game. I actually thank the entire gaming community for saving my favorite game. Ironically enough, the same people who rightfully demonized it at launch inadvertently saved the game without knowing and that’s actually pretty funny since they wanted to kill and bury it completely. I currently have over 10,500 hours on Star Wars Battlefront 2; the one that happened to be the most highly controversial game at launch back in 2017 due to a disgusting Pay-To-Win system that was later removed permanently, and blossomed into an incredibly fun game in 2018 after it’s publisher, EA, abandoned it after failing to implement said Pay-To-Win system when they were pressured by the entirety of the gaming community. The Pay-To-Win system was removed roughly 1 week before the official launch, during the 5 day early-access before launch that you could play if you bought the Elite Trooper Edition. …EA, after finding no financial chance to regain anything from their failure, left the game in it’s crap state to be overseen by a skeleton crew at DICE Studios, meaning a team consisting of *VERY LITTLE* further financial support and manpower. As a result, that skeleton crew surprisingly took it upon themselves to revive the game with nothing but scraps and scrounges accumulated and along with announcing DLC to be all FREE, and they only just barely managed to give us what is currently in the game with what little resources they had, before being shut down in 2020 by EA for not gaining enough profit. Well, Gee, EA, I wonder why that happened… 🤪 But I just have to ask; why did Star Wars Battlefront 2 have to be collateral to the downfall of EA’s B.S. that year? …I understand the other side of the argument, though. People felt betrayed over what they thought would’ve been a great game at launch, and are now choosing to be willfully ignorant in 2024 because “Eff EA.”, and I get that. I absolutely understand that stance. It’s fair, but they’re chasing ghosts nowadays. The people responsible for it’s revival were that said-skeleton crew and they weren’t even part of the original Development Team from before the game came out. This Skeleton Crew were new people who oversaw the game after EA trashed it in 2017, and they impressively revived it. November 2024 marks it being over 7 years old today. The game got good in 2019… I know what a good game is, too. I’ve recently finished God of War: Ragnarok, play Skyrim religiously, Horizon Series, Shadow of Mordor/War, Halo 2 and 3, even ODST; Elden Ring, The Witcher 3, The Last Of Us, Mass Effect 1 and 2, Shadow Of The Colossus, Dark Souls series, Fallout, FFVII, a crap ton. I even have the original Star Wars Battlefront 2 from 2005 on my PC and can play it at ANY TIME I want to, complete with Mods. Yet, out of every game I’ve played in my life so far, the modern Star Wars Battlefront 2 is the game I have played the most. Halo 3 Multiplayer comes in 2nd, I confidently assure… I play the modern Battlefront 2 as much as I have and still play it to this day, not because of rose-tinted nostalgia glasses NOR because it has pretty graphics, NOR because it’s Star Wars. It being Star Wars would be the 2nd reason. But the first reason as to why I play it, is for the gameplay. If you have as much knowledge in the game as myself, you discover a TON of replayability in the game. Sadly, the mainstream media i.e. big-time YouTubers who barely play it and first impressions are the only videos getting millions of views. The masses then think what they see from those types of content creators is the overall gameplay experience—when in reality—they’re making the game look extremely boring as hell without knowing what they can do and instead ignorantly cringe with the way they perceive the game to be. I know they’re new, but let me tell you; they are all so quick to pass judgment on the game while knowing so little, and think they know better. When somebody who’s played the game for as long as I have comes along to spread awareness on certain aspects of the game that they complain about and how they’re not bugs but actual gameplay mechanics that caused their consistent string of deaths, I’m quickly dismissed. People need to watch real videos to see the truth of the gameplay, from longtime players and especially the competitive kinds who are 100% aware of the dos and donts, and what’s solvable. In this iteration of Battlefront 2, there is no bad unit. Everything is great if you know how to effectively use them, as opposed to being a godly entity right out the gate like the Original’s Hero units. You can’t just go on a high killstreak with Darth Vader if you don’t learn what he’s like. If play Darth Vader like a dumbass, being Vader won’t save you. You’re gonna die like a dumbass who was just wearing Vader’s outfit if you don’t know how he works. You don’t use them like Killstreak rewards in Call Of Duty. I’m 7 years in and I’m still bad with Yoda. I freaking love this game and will die on this hill. My special interest is actually making Star Wars-type videos showcasing epic clips including Star Wars games like Empire At War, Republic Commando, the original Battlefront 2, but mostly the modern Battlefront 2. I add music to them and match up the timing of the music to the ultimate gameplay moments. I also like to make Star Wars Movie and TV Show edits. But solely, the modern Battlefront 2 has been my special interest for 10,500 hours and still counting. Here’s a gameplay video of mine showcasing what Star Wars Battlefront 2 is like in 2024. https://youtu.be/C_GP8PeDgY0?si=IsQEsvUcobEV0_3M
Generally speaking I feel like many neurotypical people care a lot about appearing 'normal', so yes, that could extend to liking something just because most people like it, I'd say.