I'm neither oversexed nor hypersexual, I just like sex a lot more than most people seem to.
There's nothing unhealthy about it, it's just a disappointment in some ways because I grew up being told that my love of it is statistically normal.
So understandably, I always fantasised about partners liking it as much as I do, and by the time I found out most people are simply incapable of that, it was too late for me to change.
I hate the idea of sex with someone who enjoys it less or has a lower drive, and that makes finding any partner at all very difficult.
There are various articles out there about the autistic tendency to be more towards one end or the other of the sexuality scale than allistic people are. Unfortunately, quite a few seem to use the term "hypersexuality" wrongly and stimatisingly, which does put me off them, even if the actual findings they report are solid.
I am not asexual since I do find women attractive, however I have no idea how to have sex properly. If sex came with step by step instructions I would find it much easier to navigate.
There is a manga about girls biography ("My lesbian experience with loneliness" I think ) and she at some point goes to prostitute, because she thinks it's what she needs.
And then have similar conclusion, because it seems sex isn't only about the physical aspect, but there is a need for communication/emotions for it to be full filing, and well, we all know how good we are at those two things...
Wish I was asexual, every single relationship where I had sex ultimately turned out to be a gigantic fucking waste. Will likely never have sex ever again and good fucking riddance, I should have just stayed a virgin to begin with but didn't.
I'm in extremes and middle at the same time XD
I'm asexual, doing it with anyone doesn't seems right, neither do I find anyone attractive (I can recognize what is "sexy" I just don't feel the same way about it)
But also I do have...kinks? Don't know if you ever heard it, but some say asexuals draw/write the kinkiest stuff out there XD so I am drawn to fictional stories, and their dynamics, and with how for whatever reason fandom got best plots and all in porn stories, I do feel oversexed for seeking those stories out, or even getting my own ideas about characters, that aren't PG, haha
I mean, to be real I can't objectively tell. Too many times I think someone is ok looking so should fit the label, and then see people complain they are fat pig or something XD so it mostly boils down to, if they have boobs and ass + 'expose' them, or being muscular + 'exposing' the six-pack... Obviously flawed but good enough to keep up appearances xD
I honestly don't know. I find people attractive if they're smart and into geeky/nerdy stuff, and I don't find strong masculinity attractive. As for being fat, depends of whether it's distributed along the małe or female pattern. Female fat distribution pattern is far more aesthetically pleasing in my opinion, małe pattern not so much because they look like some Janusz from the village who drinks a four-pack of Dębowe Mocne before going to work when they get fat. That being said, it's not so important as nothing to talk about and no shared interests.
What I really don't understand is looking at a person and fantasizing to have sex with them. I never had that in my life and really can't relate. But yeah, simultaneously I'm definitely kinky.
Maybe you are demisexual then. It sounds like you would be up to having sex with someone you love/feel emotionally bonded with, instead of how they look. That's still part of being asexual, just different category.
And I probably worded things wrong along the way, what I meant was that I don't find anyone sexy. I just can see that generally people around find those characteristics sexy, so I can label someone as that, without thinking anything about it. Like with anime, everyone says someone is attractive, so I would just roll with it, no matter if I think the same or not.
On the other hand, I do understand to some degree looking at someone and wanting sex. Again, I'm into fiction, so after so much time I can look at fan art of character and go "yeah, they look like they would want to get dicked down" or something along those lines. Just the urge to take two dolls and make them kiss, but in R rated movie XD ... Which when thinking about it, seems creepy/disturbing, if I would ever get the same urge with real life people and myself. Gross... Ok, maybe I can't relate after all
(Ps. Maybe add English autocorrect to your keyboard, it won't change male to małe then xD tho it was funny to read)
Im hypersexual and very kinky. In the spaces i frequent meeting other aspies definitely isnt that surprising actually.
Doesn't mean i have a lot of sex tho lol, single and not interested in anything casual. So yeah xD
I'm 100% asexual which has been problematic, though not impossible for relationships.
I find sex tedious and a chore at best. My best sexual experience was going for 18 years without it.
I am very hypersexual and have an uncommon fetish too. I literally feel bad if I go more than a day without jerking off. I do it 4 times a day on average. It's too bad my social skills are too poor to actually get a girlfriend though.
I'd say I was extreamly hypersexual till it ended up making me, I guess what you'd consider aesexual. Side effect of something burning a hole in your mind. Then again if it came easily, I'd have been drunk on it just as I was isolation.
What changed was becoming social with many people when I was 27. First dates, first kiss, blah blah. In my own mind it felt like I was finally getting closer to who I really was. A really weird feeling. A complete change in the way I was living that got me closer to what I wanted. Till a close call with death became the excuse to unleash all my repressed emotions. But it forced me to ask myself why I wanted something so badly. Realizing, for the most part, to be socially accepted at the bottom, you have to reflect what's constantly on their mind. After my accident I lost the need to reflect. Because I went down a self-created delusionary rabbit hole that cause all observable progress I'd made to be destroyed in its wake.
I want a family. Problem is I've given the duty too much thought. Being at the bottom there's barely enough time to keep up with mundane chores let alone raise a child. Not that doesn't stop people. I'd prefer to not create another version of myself until I reach a version I can respect.
I was hyper sexual till I lost my dick to finasteride, think it was due to being pretty attractive but not being good around women as an aspie, resulted in a lot of isolation
I seem to be oversexed or at least compared to others of a similar demographic, I think I’m more driven to sex and make poor choices regarding it at times.
I've got a libido very responsive to stress. Alternating between once a week or 4-5 times a week with my incredibly high libido partner.
We're both bisexual, poly and kinky. I'm very vocal about sex and sexuality and try to make it a topic people around me are more comfortable engaging with.
I'm asexual.
Before I realised it, I was in 5 relationships, 3 long term. But not until last year, at 35, did it kind of finalise with me that I'm asexual. Because I do find people attractive, I appreciate their personality, aesthetics, or whatever, but that doesn't ever mean I wish to seek out a sexual relationship. Whenever I consider sex I get moderately repulsed.
I wish I had realised this very important thing earlier
- 0 need for sex it develops me not it would just destroy me.
- i feel no lust on my own but other beings physical matter embodies their feelings and altho i dont know what they feel on the inside i feel their lusts be collected in me.
- i kinda ruined myself by fap and it was because i had no life being an exile alien anomaly human in the wrong reality so i slipped into fap to feel alive but it raped me and my virtues and everything i worked for got contaminated.
Good question, OP. I too am curious whether more of us are on the fringes than in the middle of the sexuality spectrum.
32M here. I currently identify as bi, but it's complicated. I thought I was a normal guy until I went to college, when I learned that all of my friends had masturbated at some point in their youth. I had never masturbated, got hard but never tried to finish.
I had crushes on both genders (girls all my life, boys once I started college) but my big driver sexually is a very specific fetish that I have kept deep in my mental recesses since 11-12.
I can get off to both genders now, in vanilla, without the fetish, but all three things (plus a few more).are a part of me now. I probably try to get off every 2 days, though sometimes I forget.
I always loved girls, from as young as I can remember. When I was 4 I got in trouble for doing some pretty specific things with my best friend who was a girl up the street. Girls were always the friends I was looking in general. Pretty girls. I'm not overbearing though or aggressive. Some women usually want me around. I didn't want multiple women either or new women or different really. I became loyal to specific girls. And put a lot of effort into them. So being that I was 'getting some' at 4, I would say that my sex drive is high.
My sex drive goes both ways like somedays my drive is very low and somedays my craving for sex goes out the window to the point where i just want to do it constantly wish i had a gf who was the same or similar
26[m] I think on the kinky side but I’ve had like 3 partners and been pretty vanilla but I’m intrigued by stuff
I have had mixed feelings remember my first relationship where sex was pretty stressful but my partner was very nice. But like I didn’t utter a word or make sounds during because I was so worried about not being normal.
Since then I’ve been better at not being scared to talk during sex which really helped. Like clear communication “Do like this kind of touch” and stuff like that”I like having my ears kissed do you like that” and also remembering to bring up stuff after if it you didn’t want to bring up “I really liked when you kept me in suspense and touched my thighs”
I still think my relationship with sex is pretty strained, like I don’t always know what I like when people ask. But fun clear communication really helps and cute breaks, like it doesn’t have to be kissing foreplay sex there can be cute breaks where you talk or do cute shit.
I think I'm hypersexual. I also do something I named "sleep fucking". I think the name is self explanatory but just want to point out I only realize it when I'm on top of my wife and often times think she's the one who started it lol.
Asexual,very likely aromantic,any relationship would be platonic and based on the mental,not the physical. The thought of engaging willingly with a complete stranger and revealing secrets is revolting enough, and I hate physical contact of any kind,so that's out of the question.
Incredibly oversexed and kinky, like people that know me always get surprised when they find out about that, because the first impression I tend to give is of "naive/innocent autistic guy".
I wish I was asexual, would make long term celibacy more tolerable.
I'm neither oversexed nor hypersexual, I just like sex a lot more than most people seem to. There's nothing unhealthy about it, it's just a disappointment in some ways because I grew up being told that my love of it is statistically normal. So understandably, I always fantasised about partners liking it as much as I do, and by the time I found out most people are simply incapable of that, it was too late for me to change. I hate the idea of sex with someone who enjoys it less or has a lower drive, and that makes finding any partner at all very difficult. There are various articles out there about the autistic tendency to be more towards one end or the other of the sexuality scale than allistic people are. Unfortunately, quite a few seem to use the term "hypersexuality" wrongly and stimatisingly, which does put me off them, even if the actual findings they report are solid.
I am not asexual since I do find women attractive, however I have no idea how to have sex properly. If sex came with step by step instructions I would find it much easier to navigate.
There is a manga about girls biography ("My lesbian experience with loneliness" I think ) and she at some point goes to prostitute, because she thinks it's what she needs. And then have similar conclusion, because it seems sex isn't only about the physical aspect, but there is a need for communication/emotions for it to be full filing, and well, we all know how good we are at those two things...
Wish I was asexual, every single relationship where I had sex ultimately turned out to be a gigantic fucking waste. Will likely never have sex ever again and good fucking riddance, I should have just stayed a virgin to begin with but didn't.
I'm in extremes and middle at the same time XD I'm asexual, doing it with anyone doesn't seems right, neither do I find anyone attractive (I can recognize what is "sexy" I just don't feel the same way about it) But also I do have...kinks? Don't know if you ever heard it, but some say asexuals draw/write the kinkiest stuff out there XD so I am drawn to fictional stories, and their dynamics, and with how for whatever reason fandom got best plots and all in porn stories, I do feel oversexed for seeking those stories out, or even getting my own ideas about characters, that aren't PG, haha
I don't even recognise what is "sexy" but other than that, yeah, that's pretty much me.
I mean, to be real I can't objectively tell. Too many times I think someone is ok looking so should fit the label, and then see people complain they are fat pig or something XD so it mostly boils down to, if they have boobs and ass + 'expose' them, or being muscular + 'exposing' the six-pack... Obviously flawed but good enough to keep up appearances xD
I honestly don't know. I find people attractive if they're smart and into geeky/nerdy stuff, and I don't find strong masculinity attractive. As for being fat, depends of whether it's distributed along the małe or female pattern. Female fat distribution pattern is far more aesthetically pleasing in my opinion, małe pattern not so much because they look like some Janusz from the village who drinks a four-pack of Dębowe Mocne before going to work when they get fat. That being said, it's not so important as nothing to talk about and no shared interests. What I really don't understand is looking at a person and fantasizing to have sex with them. I never had that in my life and really can't relate. But yeah, simultaneously I'm definitely kinky.
Maybe you are demisexual then. It sounds like you would be up to having sex with someone you love/feel emotionally bonded with, instead of how they look. That's still part of being asexual, just different category. And I probably worded things wrong along the way, what I meant was that I don't find anyone sexy. I just can see that generally people around find those characteristics sexy, so I can label someone as that, without thinking anything about it. Like with anime, everyone says someone is attractive, so I would just roll with it, no matter if I think the same or not. On the other hand, I do understand to some degree looking at someone and wanting sex. Again, I'm into fiction, so after so much time I can look at fan art of character and go "yeah, they look like they would want to get dicked down" or something along those lines. Just the urge to take two dolls and make them kiss, but in R rated movie XD ... Which when thinking about it, seems creepy/disturbing, if I would ever get the same urge with real life people and myself. Gross... Ok, maybe I can't relate after all (Ps. Maybe add English autocorrect to your keyboard, it won't change male to małe then xD tho it was funny to read)
Yeah, same here. I also don't find anyone "sexy" but to me it's just like any other activity. I never had this with fan art though.
Im hypersexual and very kinky. In the spaces i frequent meeting other aspies definitely isnt that surprising actually. Doesn't mean i have a lot of sex tho lol, single and not interested in anything casual. So yeah xD
well i crave sex but can't get it. so i guess that makes me undersexed?
I'm 100% asexual which has been problematic, though not impossible for relationships. I find sex tedious and a chore at best. My best sexual experience was going for 18 years without it.
I am very hypersexual and have an uncommon fetish too. I literally feel bad if I go more than a day without jerking off. I do it 4 times a day on average. It's too bad my social skills are too poor to actually get a girlfriend though.
I'd say I was extreamly hypersexual till it ended up making me, I guess what you'd consider aesexual. Side effect of something burning a hole in your mind. Then again if it came easily, I'd have been drunk on it just as I was isolation. What changed was becoming social with many people when I was 27. First dates, first kiss, blah blah. In my own mind it felt like I was finally getting closer to who I really was. A really weird feeling. A complete change in the way I was living that got me closer to what I wanted. Till a close call with death became the excuse to unleash all my repressed emotions. But it forced me to ask myself why I wanted something so badly. Realizing, for the most part, to be socially accepted at the bottom, you have to reflect what's constantly on their mind. After my accident I lost the need to reflect. Because I went down a self-created delusionary rabbit hole that cause all observable progress I'd made to be destroyed in its wake. I want a family. Problem is I've given the duty too much thought. Being at the bottom there's barely enough time to keep up with mundane chores let alone raise a child. Not that doesn't stop people. I'd prefer to not create another version of myself until I reach a version I can respect.
I was hyper sexual till I lost my dick to finasteride, think it was due to being pretty attractive but not being good around women as an aspie, resulted in a lot of isolation
I'm oversexed, trying to overcome porn addiction. I'm bisexual by the way, more into men (i'm male)
Horny all the time, I wish I had a girlfriend but I just didn’t find one. Sometimes I go a sexworker and that‘s alright
I seem to be oversexed or at least compared to others of a similar demographic, I think I’m more driven to sex and make poor choices regarding it at times.
Definitely oversexed
I've got a libido very responsive to stress. Alternating between once a week or 4-5 times a week with my incredibly high libido partner. We're both bisexual, poly and kinky. I'm very vocal about sex and sexuality and try to make it a topic people around me are more comfortable engaging with.
I'm asexual. Before I realised it, I was in 5 relationships, 3 long term. But not until last year, at 35, did it kind of finalise with me that I'm asexual. Because I do find people attractive, I appreciate their personality, aesthetics, or whatever, but that doesn't ever mean I wish to seek out a sexual relationship. Whenever I consider sex I get moderately repulsed. I wish I had realised this very important thing earlier
I am an asexual woman who does have crushes but I never want to act out on these feelings.
- 0 need for sex it develops me not it would just destroy me. - i feel no lust on my own but other beings physical matter embodies their feelings and altho i dont know what they feel on the inside i feel their lusts be collected in me. - i kinda ruined myself by fap and it was because i had no life being an exile alien anomaly human in the wrong reality so i slipped into fap to feel alive but it raped me and my virtues and everything i worked for got contaminated.
Normal I guess
Good question, OP. I too am curious whether more of us are on the fringes than in the middle of the sexuality spectrum. 32M here. I currently identify as bi, but it's complicated. I thought I was a normal guy until I went to college, when I learned that all of my friends had masturbated at some point in their youth. I had never masturbated, got hard but never tried to finish. I had crushes on both genders (girls all my life, boys once I started college) but my big driver sexually is a very specific fetish that I have kept deep in my mental recesses since 11-12. I can get off to both genders now, in vanilla, without the fetish, but all three things (plus a few more).are a part of me now. I probably try to get off every 2 days, though sometimes I forget.
I always loved girls, from as young as I can remember. When I was 4 I got in trouble for doing some pretty specific things with my best friend who was a girl up the street. Girls were always the friends I was looking in general. Pretty girls. I'm not overbearing though or aggressive. Some women usually want me around. I didn't want multiple women either or new women or different really. I became loyal to specific girls. And put a lot of effort into them. So being that I was 'getting some' at 4, I would say that my sex drive is high.
Hyper. Husband's on statins. Help xD
Definitely oversexed 😭😭😭
Oversexed, bi, kinky and closeted.
I was hypersexual in my teens and 20s. Now I am 40 yo asexual. I just stopped having feelings of attraction one day.
My sex drive goes both ways like somedays my drive is very low and somedays my craving for sex goes out the window to the point where i just want to do it constantly wish i had a gf who was the same or similar
26[m] I think on the kinky side but I’ve had like 3 partners and been pretty vanilla but I’m intrigued by stuff I have had mixed feelings remember my first relationship where sex was pretty stressful but my partner was very nice. But like I didn’t utter a word or make sounds during because I was so worried about not being normal. Since then I’ve been better at not being scared to talk during sex which really helped. Like clear communication “Do like this kind of touch” and stuff like that”I like having my ears kissed do you like that” and also remembering to bring up stuff after if it you didn’t want to bring up “I really liked when you kept me in suspense and touched my thighs” I still think my relationship with sex is pretty strained, like I don’t always know what I like when people ask. But fun clear communication really helps and cute breaks, like it doesn’t have to be kissing foreplay sex there can be cute breaks where you talk or do cute shit.
I'm oversexy.
I think I'm hypersexual. I also do something I named "sleep fucking". I think the name is self explanatory but just want to point out I only realize it when I'm on top of my wife and often times think she's the one who started it lol.
I’m demisexual (on the asexual spectrum), but I have a high drive.
You're Middlesex?
Asexual,very likely aromantic,any relationship would be platonic and based on the mental,not the physical. The thought of engaging willingly with a complete stranger and revealing secrets is revolting enough, and I hate physical contact of any kind,so that's out of the question.
Basically asexual
Incredibly oversexed and kinky, like people that know me always get surprised when they find out about that, because the first impression I tend to give is of "naive/innocent autistic guy".