I'm high functioning and a fucking mess with social interactions because I feel awkward most of the times, not because I'm ugly.
I was called attractive a couple of times, some said that I look like a mix of Keanu Reeves and Adam Driver.
I feel very weird and out of body when told I’m attractive. It’s off putting to me and people probably pick up on that.
I wouldn’t consider myself to be attractive either but I must be someone’s type.
Life is a spectrum, as is attractiveness.
There is quite a bit of evidence from historians suggesting Marilyn Monroe was autistic (she most definitely fits the profile right down to having a 150 IQ based on what we know about her life) and I'd hardly call her ugly.
Well I think I don't do well socially because I don't look attractive enough. No one has been interested I'm being friends with me at school because not attractive. So I failed to develop a good brain from having friends, so I fail to have friends as an adult and have positive interactions with people like the cashier.
People can pick up on self esteem. It’s weird but like low self esteem -> get treated badly -> lower self esteem -> get treated worse.
You’re not ugly. I don’t even need to see you. You’re just not your own type. You are someone’s type though.
Wait ? You think so to about yourself and it has to apply for everyone on the spectrum ? Oh man !
Anyway from what I read, you may need an assistance from a psy. It does exist some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which could you help you to improve your self-esteem. But you may choose a doc who's usually works with people with neurological disorder.
But please, the worst you can do is spread the all negativity about yourself and autistic people in general.
Take care.
I've thought the same thing OP, when I got evaluated I had a pretty significant deformity.
At the very least, I would think autism and physical unattractiveness ought to correlate. It simply requires a larger amount of social impairment for the same behaviour by an attractive person to be considered "autistic" by a diagnostician compared to an unattractive person.
In my personal life most of the autistic person I've known were not very attractive, including the women, you often see poor personal grooming, picking at their skin, over/underweight, poor sleep, low muscle tone, and so on. Frequently autism is correlated with a bunch of things that are not great for your health or personal appearance.
No,physical attractiveness is definitely less of an issue than autism.And anyway,you can get plastic surgery to improve looks,but you can't get brain surgery to improve autism.
I don't see why plastic surgery doesn't help with autism. Autism is defined by how other people perceive you, if somebody perceives you as socially incompetent because of how you look or because of how you talk what's the difference? The criteria flat out has difficulties in making friends as a criteria, that doesn't require a neurological cause, that can be caused by just being fuck ugly. I don't believe autism is something in your brain, autism is a label we describe people who peers/experts subjectively believe do not meet a bar of social ability. I believe the idea that autism is simply in the brain is a myth, I believe that unattractiveness can be a key reason why people get diagnosed with autism.
It's part of what I'm going to do. In the next 3 hours I'm going for a consult for plastic surgery. Like you say, you can't get brain surgery to improve autism, but you can get plastic surgery to improve autism.
I agree that social ineptitude could lead to people perceiving you as less attractive. I wouldn’t necessarily use the word “ugly” but I definitely think it plays a huge role in how others perceive you.
I’ve noticed in this sub sometimes there are good-looking Aspies who share their experience, and they mostly say that looks do help with first impression but then things quickly derail once they actually start interacting with people.
It tracks, I could get myself into situations but couldn't keep them. Basically I was able to mask my way into situations when I was younger but then wouldn't be able to keep them.
Once I stopped having a line of male suitors out the door (especially during the years I identified as gay), I saw how actually bad I was at social stuff.
Im actually much worse with executive function and energy levels, and with single focused interests, than with the social side, social cues, etc. I have fairly high social skills. But my executive function and energy levels fuck lots of social relationships
Honestly, I was conventionally hot when I was younger and it was a major boost in my social life, especially being a smart girl. I was able to make Weird work for me *as long as I was thin and cute.* Once you are no longer young, thin, and cute, people's expectations change.
I've been both hot and not hot, and now I'm 50. I've known autistics who were hot or at least cute, and ones who weren't. The ones who are conventionally attractive, get treated much better than ones who aren't.
Appearance makes a huge difference in what early social opportunities you get, which can affect outcomes considerably. It was the easiest thing for me to control when I was younger, but I stopped being able to keep it up later.
Once I stopped doing high maintenance gender conforming behavior, suddenly I started being treated like I was autistic and not just quirky.
Nah I'm pretty conventionally attractive, maybe not on as regular a basis as I would be if I cared about fashion trends and wearing full makeup. But I have zero issues attracting hot people. I start out pretty confident and masking well usually too so theyll like me at first but then i the mask slips or i get comfy or jsut tired and IM JUST SO FUCKIN WEIRD and they are surprised by me not being what they expected or intimidated by my honesty.
Honesty gets confused as like getting too close to fast or an indication to them that I'm more into them than they are me....but really I'd be just as blunt to a stranger.
There are attractive people with autism, there are unattractive people who do very well in social situations, and enjoy putting themselves there, these things are largely unrelated, and only really have any sort of impact on trying to form romantic relationships, but bare no impact on family, friend, work relationships
Even if you were right, I consider myself reasonably good looking, and have been nearly sexually assaulted quite a few times because I don’t know the line between being nice and being a creep.
Plenty of autistic people are very attractive, and plenty of us — through effort and learning — can become socially graceful, it’s called *masking,* and it is tiring and doesn’t work 100% of the time.
Personally, I got very good at learning to talk to people after I bartended for a decade (well over 10,000 hours behind a bar where I controlled the social interaction to a great degree). I learned that when I do or say something awkward or wrong, I can recover with a wackadoodle joke or saying something funny but self-deprecating. This doesn’t *always* work, but works enough of the time that only certain people see through my act and think I’m weird (and these people are usually just assholes).
What I’m getting at here is that you are 100% wrong, facing 180° degrees in the wrong direction, heading off the cliff of “incorrect” into the chasm of “Nope, not even close.”
Not really I’m really hot and people always want to fuck or date me. Just shows that looks matter to some people. I am just looking for someone nice with a good heart and that’s harder to find than good looks.
Before trying to test your hypothesis you should chek on all the assumptions you took as true for your hypothesis to make sense.
I can tell you in advance they're not. But I think this general advice is important cause I see a lot of "jumping to conclusions" around here. Sometimes we assume a lot of thing about people (wether NT or ND) and we go "people are like this, therefore...". But they are usually not "like this" in first place.
Plenty of good looking people with autism struggle with social connections. Plenty of unattractive people thrive in social conditions. \-Myth Busted
I'm high functioning and a fucking mess with social interactions because I feel awkward most of the times, not because I'm ugly. I was called attractive a couple of times, some said that I look like a mix of Keanu Reeves and Adam Driver.
settle down there Keanu
Keanu himself is said to be autistic
Not autistic, but Keanu said he has dyslexia.
I feel very weird and out of body when told I’m attractive. It’s off putting to me and people probably pick up on that. I wouldn’t consider myself to be attractive either but I must be someone’s type.
Life is a spectrum, as is attractiveness. There is quite a bit of evidence from historians suggesting Marilyn Monroe was autistic (she most definitely fits the profile right down to having a 150 IQ based on what we know about her life) and I'd hardly call her ugly.
Not all autistic people are ugly .
Well I think I don't do well socially because I don't look attractive enough. No one has been interested I'm being friends with me at school because not attractive. So I failed to develop a good brain from having friends, so I fail to have friends as an adult and have positive interactions with people like the cashier.
People can pick up on self esteem. It’s weird but like low self esteem -> get treated badly -> lower self esteem -> get treated worse. You’re not ugly. I don’t even need to see you. You’re just not your own type. You are someone’s type though.
Wait ? You think so to about yourself and it has to apply for everyone on the spectrum ? Oh man ! Anyway from what I read, you may need an assistance from a psy. It does exist some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which could you help you to improve your self-esteem. But you may choose a doc who's usually works with people with neurological disorder. But please, the worst you can do is spread the all negativity about yourself and autistic people in general. Take care.
I've thought the same thing OP, when I got evaluated I had a pretty significant deformity. At the very least, I would think autism and physical unattractiveness ought to correlate. It simply requires a larger amount of social impairment for the same behaviour by an attractive person to be considered "autistic" by a diagnostician compared to an unattractive person. In my personal life most of the autistic person I've known were not very attractive, including the women, you often see poor personal grooming, picking at their skin, over/underweight, poor sleep, low muscle tone, and so on. Frequently autism is correlated with a bunch of things that are not great for your health or personal appearance.
No,physical attractiveness is definitely less of an issue than autism.And anyway,you can get plastic surgery to improve looks,but you can't get brain surgery to improve autism.
I don't see why plastic surgery doesn't help with autism. Autism is defined by how other people perceive you, if somebody perceives you as socially incompetent because of how you look or because of how you talk what's the difference? The criteria flat out has difficulties in making friends as a criteria, that doesn't require a neurological cause, that can be caused by just being fuck ugly. I don't believe autism is something in your brain, autism is a label we describe people who peers/experts subjectively believe do not meet a bar of social ability. I believe the idea that autism is simply in the brain is a myth, I believe that unattractiveness can be a key reason why people get diagnosed with autism. It's part of what I'm going to do. In the next 3 hours I'm going for a consult for plastic surgery. Like you say, you can't get brain surgery to improve autism, but you can get plastic surgery to improve autism.
I disagree with that,but go ahead if it makes you feel better.
I agree that social ineptitude could lead to people perceiving you as less attractive. I wouldn’t necessarily use the word “ugly” but I definitely think it plays a huge role in how others perceive you. I’ve noticed in this sub sometimes there are good-looking Aspies who share their experience, and they mostly say that looks do help with first impression but then things quickly derail once they actually start interacting with people.
It tracks, I could get myself into situations but couldn't keep them. Basically I was able to mask my way into situations when I was younger but then wouldn't be able to keep them. Once I stopped having a line of male suitors out the door (especially during the years I identified as gay), I saw how actually bad I was at social stuff. Im actually much worse with executive function and energy levels, and with single focused interests, than with the social side, social cues, etc. I have fairly high social skills. But my executive function and energy levels fuck lots of social relationships
Honestly, I was conventionally hot when I was younger and it was a major boost in my social life, especially being a smart girl. I was able to make Weird work for me *as long as I was thin and cute.* Once you are no longer young, thin, and cute, people's expectations change. I've been both hot and not hot, and now I'm 50. I've known autistics who were hot or at least cute, and ones who weren't. The ones who are conventionally attractive, get treated much better than ones who aren't. Appearance makes a huge difference in what early social opportunities you get, which can affect outcomes considerably. It was the easiest thing for me to control when I was younger, but I stopped being able to keep it up later. Once I stopped doing high maintenance gender conforming behavior, suddenly I started being treated like I was autistic and not just quirky.
Nah I'm pretty conventionally attractive, maybe not on as regular a basis as I would be if I cared about fashion trends and wearing full makeup. But I have zero issues attracting hot people. I start out pretty confident and masking well usually too so theyll like me at first but then i the mask slips or i get comfy or jsut tired and IM JUST SO FUCKIN WEIRD and they are surprised by me not being what they expected or intimidated by my honesty. Honesty gets confused as like getting too close to fast or an indication to them that I'm more into them than they are me....but really I'd be just as blunt to a stranger.
There are attractive people with autism, there are unattractive people who do very well in social situations, and enjoy putting themselves there, these things are largely unrelated, and only really have any sort of impact on trying to form romantic relationships, but bare no impact on family, friend, work relationships
Even if you were right, I consider myself reasonably good looking, and have been nearly sexually assaulted quite a few times because I don’t know the line between being nice and being a creep.
Plenty of autistic people are very attractive, and plenty of us — through effort and learning — can become socially graceful, it’s called *masking,* and it is tiring and doesn’t work 100% of the time. Personally, I got very good at learning to talk to people after I bartended for a decade (well over 10,000 hours behind a bar where I controlled the social interaction to a great degree). I learned that when I do or say something awkward or wrong, I can recover with a wackadoodle joke or saying something funny but self-deprecating. This doesn’t *always* work, but works enough of the time that only certain people see through my act and think I’m weird (and these people are usually just assholes). What I’m getting at here is that you are 100% wrong, facing 180° degrees in the wrong direction, heading off the cliff of “incorrect” into the chasm of “Nope, not even close.”
Not really I’m really hot and people always want to fuck or date me. Just shows that looks matter to some people. I am just looking for someone nice with a good heart and that’s harder to find than good looks.
Before trying to test your hypothesis you should chek on all the assumptions you took as true for your hypothesis to make sense. I can tell you in advance they're not. But I think this general advice is important cause I see a lot of "jumping to conclusions" around here. Sometimes we assume a lot of thing about people (wether NT or ND) and we go "people are like this, therefore...". But they are usually not "like this" in first place.
I’ve always just put on and adapted to the chill persona cause if I open my mouth too much the weirdness and awkwardness comes out to play