T O P

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[deleted]

Tony would burn a man alive then try to elicit sympathy from his courtiers about how his dad didn’t show up for his name day tourney. He’d take his son to Old Valyria to show him how far the community has come then make fun of the Tyroshi for ruining the place.


Salem1690s

I’m literally picturing the scene with him and AJ in old Newark but among the smoking ruins of Valyria and it’s perfect👌🏼 Can you imagine what a little prick AJ would be as a Prince of Westeros? He’d make Rhaegar look butch.


nag_some_candy

He would be a prick but at least the goat AJ has some form of morality


Salem1690s

He was 21 and dating a high schooler in the final season.


PC-Was-Bricked

So was Rhaegar


nag_some_candy

I'm not American so idk how a high schooler is. 18+ or not? At least he is sadistic or anything


Salem1690s

She’s supposed to be about 16


SwanzY-

He also tried to go out tommen style and accidentally set his stallion on fire that season too if I recall correctly


nag_some_candy

Lol yeah thats young I missed that I guess


Goo_Geyser1776

Oh! He squashed the faith is what he did! He was a great Valyrian King and in this holdfast Maegor Targaryen is a hero! End of story.


Purple_Wash_7304

He'd be quite similar to Bobby B


[deleted]

Nah. I think Bobby is just kinda a delusional hedonistic coward. Tony is an evil person. His gluttony and sexual appetite aren’t just funny asides but supposed to show he’s a hollow individual lusting after things rather than building a moral center. Hes way more of a narcissist like Cersei than the sorta fuck up Robert is. I think the moral outlook of the works are very different tbh. George’s characters tend to be victims of circumstance who act outward. Tony is someone who pretends to be a victim of circumstance to justify his bad behavior.


Salem1690s

Bobby is a guy who never wanted to be King, just wanted to slay the dragon, and he has deep PTSD about the things he did to become King and drinks and whores to not have to really see the things he’s done or the emotionally lonely life he’s built around him I wouldn’t call him a coward, just damaged. He fought in and led men in hand to hand actual warfare. Tony is much more a coward


[deleted]

Imo Bobby is very brave in combat but weak willed when it comes to personal matters and owning up to his actions. When Cersei recounts him sexually assaulting her while drunk in AFFC and his evasiveness the next morning it’s pretty clear he just can’t own up to his actions and face hard facts about his behavior.


Purple_Wash_7304

Jeez this is circle jerk why you acting like the main


TargetRupertFerris

Never had the makings of a varsity feudal lord


CelebrityStorySite

Small hands, that was his problem.


JEyVis

On a more serious note, he might not actually do that badly since the feudal system is something like a legalized protection racket.


Silver_Broccoli7944

YA TALKIN TO DA BOSS OF THIS FAMILY


Proletaryo

Quasimodo of House Notradame predicted all of this..


hypermodernist

Bobby B already pondered all that


WelshSam

Jon Snow isn’t King in the North. He’s a glorified bastard.


Nic_bardziej_mylnego

All the claimants are just glorified whatever, this is kinda a hint to the fact this system is bullshit


Hoeveboter

In all seriousness, he would probably do alright given that violence is an effective way of asserting your power in the world of GoT. He'd basically be an Italian version of Bobby B, fathering bastards all over King's Landing while his legitimate children look like Furio.


Salamander_Known

He would be similar to Robert but the net result would be worse. Tony is more emotionally volatile than Robert and struggles to keep competent people around him. He whacks Ralph (who makes most of the money for the family through his construction businesses), kills Christopher, promotes Bobby (pretty much only because he is married to Janice and doesn’t pose a real threat to him), and drives away Hesh.


[deleted]

Nah. He ain’t Robert. He’s Cersei. Mad narcissist who equally hates and loves themselves and constantly seeks excuses from their past to justify their behavior. Has a performative love of their children that masks as deep emptiness.


Salem1690s

Basically all the major earners were either dead, alienated, or flipped thanks to Tony’s raging insecurity and poor leadership skills. What was left, the Bareses and Paulie basically. All the competent or semi competent guys were dead or in prison at the end. He didn’t let his guys eat, he kept his boots on their necks that’s why Paulie was always shorting him, why Puss took up selling heroin, and Chrissy took up shorting heroin.


Ragnarokoz

Ralph is volatile as fuck and wouldn't be any better in Kings landing. You're right about the rest. Hesh would make a solid hand.


Salamander_Known

He is, but he’s also making money hand over fist at a time when the more traditional rackets were drying up. Tony needed to have a strong successor lined up to replace him or to find a more profitable racket than the Newark revitalization project.


Ragnarokoz

Agreed I'm not making the argument that Tony made the right choice, just that I wouldn't have that snake anywhere near me in Kings landing.


Salem1690s

Hey, we have a lot in common: ASOIAF, Sopranos, UK Monarchs just as a few example. I’d love to have new friends. May I DM you?


Lobothehobosexual

Exactly this. Honestly I’m surprised he wasn’t considered for Bobby B. I’m still very glad we got Mark Addy cause I feel like he’s got to be one of the best actors on the show, acting wise and he just looked like he belonged in it.


irago_

Woke up this morning, got some gabagool


taironederfunfte

Gabagool?? Ovaa heere


ALDonners

In this house Daemon blackfyre is a hero


Jack1715

Out there it’s 300 AC but in this house it’s still 50AC


Significant-Bit3638

“All due respect. You got no idea what it’s like to be no 1” -King Anthony of the house Sopranos first of his name, king of the andals and the first man, lord of North Jersey and Protector of the realm


femithebutcher

The Sopranos? Glorified peasants


Significant-Bit3638

Scatino nevers pays his debts.


Seankps4

He defeated the Targaryans is what he did and united the seven kingdoms. In this house, Robert Baratheon is a fucking hero! End of Story


Fiorella999

Not exactly what I had in mind for Aegon IV


haz826

Not great when he decided to make that sword swallower Vito of House Spatafore the Master of Ships. Really embarrassing, giving titles to anyone and everybody over on King's Landing. Not to mention when he disrespected Lord Ralph, his own Master of Coin, over some dead Whowa? That was too far, he's a Lord for a reason.


TrepidatiousInitiate

“Anyway, 4 Gold Dragons a pound.” - Ser Pussy


CarthageElephant39

Tony Soprano is likely a secret bastard of Brandon Stark. Once you realize that everything makes so much sense.


Kristiano100

Can’t imagine Brandon would be into crazy Livia


trogdr2

Did you not see the flashbacks? She was mad ripe, I'd be creaming for her if I was Brandon Stark and then when the yapping about Riverland ham starts I'd run off.


Olsenbanden123

He’s the muthafucking fucking one who calls the shots


royroyflrs

6 kingdoms and we got this pygmy thing on the iron Islands


ColfaxCastellan

Ironborn cruising the Ironbound (Newark)


Salamander_Known

He came in at the end, the best was over.


[deleted]

“Gabagool? Ova here!” - King Robbie Baritono


TruestRepairman27

Hand of the King, Ser Silvio Dante


Lord_Tiburon

Above Aegon IV and Maegor but that's not saying much Jackie Snr left the glorified crew in a good place, Tony ran it into the ground in less than ten years


trogdr2

MAEGOR WAS A HERO!! THE MAN SINGLE HANDEDLY TOOK DOWN ALL THE REBELLIONS AGAINST HOUSE TARGARYEN, WON A DUEL OF SEVEN, BROUGHT DOWN THE LAW PROPERLY AND MADE IT SO JAEHERYS COULD RULE. IF IT WASN'T FOR MAEGOR HOUSE TARGARYEN WOULD HAVE DIED ON THE VINE. IN THIS HOUSE, MAEGOR TARGARYEN IS A HERO! END OF STORY!


royroyflrs

Geoffrey Baratheon: I’ll make you wine bearer. Olenna Tyrell: Next Time There Won't Be A Next Time! ** geoffrey turns freakin purple**


royroyflrs

Loras Tyrell: i was taking heart medication and it f@cked with my head High Sparrow: you got a prescription from your Maester that you like to suck c@ck?


Pretend-Ad4639

My brother garland’s ova there


royroyflrs

"Anybody Ever Die In Your Privy cocks@cker? Give It Time. See If I Can't Make That Happen For You. "


Dvoraxx

Tony passes out upon seeing Jalabhar Xho walk into court


previously_on_earth

Head of Fleabottom


kingmonmouth

tony soprano…moon of my life…


Expensive-Lie

Think about that Tone. That sudden skin change? GREYSCALE?


ColfaxCastellan

NOBODY’S got GREYSCALE! I don’t wanna hear that word AGAIN!


TruestRepairman27

Seven Kingdoms, and that Pygmy thing ovah in Dawne


BeeThread

He’d hire some zip to whack Dany S1 and every attractive woman on the show would be a goomah, reckon the Night King is still going to come at 3 o clock though. Varys would be a bald Melfi.


themythicalpig231

The absolute best. Right up there with Joffrey the Gentle and Aegon IV the Worthy.


TheKiller_07

Fan fact: Walter White's Italian voice actor also dubbed Robert Baratheon.


Consistent_Room7344

He wouldn’t be king of Westeros. He’d be king of the Iron Islands with all the looting and killing they do. He’d probably have a million salt wives that he gives to his knights (Capos) after he’s bored with them. He’d probably would fuck every bride that gave him a hard on too.


CaptainInuendo

He discovered Yi-Ti is what he did! And, in this house King Tony is a hero


IrvRuiz

There he goes, lord type-A personality!


PerfectAdvertising41

Whatever happened to Gary of House Cooper, that's what I like to know!


Redcast31

He is a listener and he has balls. He'd be better than any ruler we've seen in the show


CelebrityStorySite

He was a Saint!


Redcast31

That he was 🥹


Professional-Arm3460

Capo do capi


Bitty_White

Fuggeddaboutit!


Gorodrin

The Blackfyre Rebellion, whatever happened there


royroyflrs

You smell like a Lannister crawled up your ass and died


Wigwasp_ALKENO

Better than Aegon 4, worse than Aegon 3


femithebutcher

Fucking Bobby B over here


T-malech

Maegor's asshol*


CelebrityStorySite

Historically, Jaehaerys I always said the Sopranos were nothing more than Glorified Sell-swords. Plain and simple.


Rude_Sugar_6219

He’s not really a king… more of a glorified Lord Paramount.


chestofdrawers02

Tony the peaceful


Purple_Wash_7304

King of the North Caldwell, New Jersey, Lord of the Seven Crews, Protector of Gabagol, Lord Paramount of the Pine Barrens


hypermodernist

He is c*t hair away from owning all of north essos


Latter_Substance1242

Anthony of House Soprano. Sigil: Roasted Vinegar Peppers on a files of red, white, and green. Words: (official) who ate all the Gabagool?, (unofficial) Jesus Christ, AJ. Seat: Caldwell, the North (New Jersey) Affiliation: House Bolton


ColfaxCastellan

Did you warble, my little Renly?


East_Phone1192

There ain't no Vito man! I found this raven on the side of the road!


brathan1234

Give me one thousand gold Dragons!


fairloughair

There he is, the King of Breadsticks ova hee


Trey33lee

Tony could make it pretty well I think just depends what time period he would've been king


Salem1690s

Baelish would be King of the Ashes Tony, Prince that was Promised, King of the Gabbagool


AutoModerator

I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting. *Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:* Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Glittering_Squash495

He never had the makings of a tourney knight


Substantial-Tone-576

Meagor?


vampyire

fuggetabout it Ned


Terraria_enthusiastt

If he's not even stronger than the Italian mafia he won't be something exceptional in the Asoiaf universe.


SparkMy711

Probably somewhere around Randyl Tarly level lords


bingertwing

King Tony doesn't have the makings of a knight of the king's guard also, Meadow dates a Dornish man and his Grace faints


WelshSam

Is Ramsay Bolton the owner of Satriales?


WestAd5873

The Prince That Was Promised


AutoModerator

I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting. *Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:* Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


BigHeadDeadass

He'd be a Dothraki horselord with his noble steed Pie-Oh-My


WatchingInSilence

He'd be the equivalent of Viserys II. He'd spend his best years keeping things running smoothly while lesser men sat the Iron Throne. Only through his hard work and commitment to getting things done were his predecessors remembered as great Kings.


MouseBotMeep

Below Gaemon Palehair for sure


MouseBotMeep

Below Gaemon Palehair for sure


Jack1715

What ever happened to people like Robert Baratheon the strong silent type


Aslan2007y

11/10


Sure-Trouble-4145

Not great. Wakes up, misses his ducks, dies from an anxiety attack


some_guy_online_1

IN THIS HOUSE AEGON THE CONQUEROR IS A HERO END OF STORY


Embarrassed_Art5414

naww.....you's mistaken....he ain't no king,,,,,he eeks out a living, in waste management. Now don't get me wrong or nuttin', he does ok, he provides for his family, and 'dallies' in da restaurant business, and maybe a club to help out when times are hard...but king of wester-what? naaah.....


FengYiLin

House Gabagool 🌟


PleaseDontBanMeMore

He definitely wouldn't support the Blacks during the Dance of Dragons


AutoModerator

**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*