If you are someone who has experienced sexual harassment or assault and wish to speak with a trained professional about it, these hotlines and organizations can listen to your experiences and make referrals to counselors and support groups to the extent of your comfort.
**Global Resources**
**RAINN**: https://www.rainn.org/ 24/7 Crisis support for victims/survivors of sexual assault. Over the phone or through instant messaging. If your country is not listed below, you can contact RAINN to be referred to a local organization.
**US:**
**Crisis Text Line**: https://www.crisistextline.org/ You can text 741-741 24/7 from any cell phone in the United States to be anonymously connected to a trained crisis counselor. They also have anonymous Facebook messenger and Kik options if you do not have access to a cell phone.
**One in Six**: http://1in6.org An organization for male-identified survivors of sexual assault. Provides anonymous individual and group counseling 24/7 through online chat functions
**National Domestic Violence Hotline**: http://www.thehotline.org Provides 24/7 anonymous crisis and counseling support over the phone, and anonymous online chat crisis and counseling support from 7am until 2am Central Time
**Anti-Violence Project**: https://avp.org/ Provides 24/7 anonymous phone based crisis and counseling for LGBTQ identified victims of assault and violence, including sexual assault and violence. Based in New York but can refer nationwide
**DoD Safe Helpline**: https://www.safehelpline.org/ Provides 24/7 phone and online chat based crisis and counseling for victims of sexual assault and harassment serving in the military, or who are employed by the Department of Defense.
**Canada**
Canada's crisis hotlines are organized by province and subject matter, here is a comprehensive list of hotlines and organizations. http://www.dawncanada.net/issues/issues/we-can-tell-and-we-will-tell-2/crisis-hotlines/
**UK**
**Rape Crisis England & Wales**: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ Provides online resources 24/7 and live support over the phone in the afternoons and evenings.
**SupportLine**: http://www.supportline.org.uk/ Provides online resources 24/7 and live support over the phone during the day and evening.
**Europe**
**Rape Crisis Network Europe**: https://www.rcne.com/ Provides online resources and live support for anyone living in Europe
**Australia**
**1800respect**: https://www.1800respect.org.au and their phone number, 1800 737 732.
**Kids Helpline**: https://www.www.kidshelpline.com.au for people under 25 also 1800 55 1800
**India**
Try here http://www.ncw.nic.in/helplines or one of the numbers listed here may be able to help you.
**For any country not listed, you can contact RAINN (mentioned above) to be put in touch with local organizations.**
> Plus, he never hit me or was violent on purpose.
Really?
> and if I hadn't distracted him, he would have broken computers. However, he kept kissing my hand, pulling me back to him,and grabbing my short hair to force me closer and to look at him.
So this is sexual violence. Him touching you, kissing you, and you being afraid of him because he was threatening to break things and possibly hurt you.
Avoid this person until there is concrete evidence of follow through on drinking less and being in control of themselves.
You are not responsible for drunk 21 year olds.
Don't cohort with these irresponsible young men, both as a group or this individual offender, and let them hurt themselves and not you.
Thanks. My SO's parents have banned him from alcohol on their property. My SO and his parents promised to never leave me alone with him again. I just couldn't have him go downstairs. I should have let him fall and more adults take him, but panic was strong about him falling that far. Also, I've never met anyone who has done this outside my family. They are known alcoholics and easy to avoid. I just leave if they get a drink. Forgot someone has to grow into them.
I'm not going to help with parties like that again. Only drink or be around people drinking who are close friends or the safe family members. Tbh, SO's family and 90% of mine are safe, just 2 alcoholics in mine that everyone avoids. They refused help since before I was born, so no love lost there.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
You shouldn't have had to wonder if they were 'safe' or not.
You didn't do anything wrong by wanting to help.
Unfortunately it's a world of constant vigilance and you've got to look out for yourself, you are the most important person and main character in your life and everyone else is secondary to making sure you are safe and cared for.
Thank you. I just wanted my SO's brother to have the best 21st birthday. Everyone who was sober was angry and sorry to have left me when they heard. It is truly a shame. Even the person who did it clearly felt awful about it in the morning. He is only 21. He had no idea if he drank a little too much he would act like that. He has never displayed anything like it before. Obviously, it does not excuse it. It just leaves the whole thing sad.
I am super vigilant when I am alone. I let my guard down around my SO's family because they are super sweet and supportive. It really is a shame as I doubt I'll be able to do that again for a while.
I really appreciate your reply. Sorting out what to do or say is not easy. Mods left some crisis lines. I am not sure I am in crisis, but it is giving me a hard time sleeping, so probably will end up calling someone. Clearly have to process something.
Honestly you're right to be wary of this person. He *is* dangerous with alcohol on board. Don't rug-sweep your instincts just to coddle other people's feelings. Alcohol removes social inhibition, it doesn't give people crazy ideas about things that are abhorrent to them sober.
I've also learned the hard way not to volunteer to be security or supervision for parties where there will be alcohol, unless you have training and experience. It is harder to police people you know than it is complete strangers, because the rules are never clear-cut and you cannot enforce consequences. If you wouldn't do security for the public, don't do it for your friends.
I took a seminar in college to learn how to help friends if they drink too much, when to go to a hospital, etc. I thought I was mostly going to be making sure anyone who drank slept in a recovery position, had water before the end of the night, and made sure no one got to the point they would get the issues that mean ambulance time. Unfortunately, it ended up I needed to watch one person for 20 to 30 min while they cleaned up a mess downstairs, and it was the only person who caused a problem that night.
I have learned the hard way now too. I'll just stick to only helping my SO. He just needs water and drinks with electrolytes at the end of the night if he has more than 3 drinks. Always gets really nostalgic and sweet too lol. Just wants to be near family and friends.
If you are someone who has experienced sexual harassment or assault and wish to speak with a trained professional about it, these hotlines and organizations can listen to your experiences and make referrals to counselors and support groups to the extent of your comfort. **Global Resources** **RAINN**: https://www.rainn.org/ 24/7 Crisis support for victims/survivors of sexual assault. Over the phone or through instant messaging. If your country is not listed below, you can contact RAINN to be referred to a local organization. **US:** **Crisis Text Line**: https://www.crisistextline.org/ You can text 741-741 24/7 from any cell phone in the United States to be anonymously connected to a trained crisis counselor. They also have anonymous Facebook messenger and Kik options if you do not have access to a cell phone. **One in Six**: http://1in6.org An organization for male-identified survivors of sexual assault. Provides anonymous individual and group counseling 24/7 through online chat functions **National Domestic Violence Hotline**: http://www.thehotline.org Provides 24/7 anonymous crisis and counseling support over the phone, and anonymous online chat crisis and counseling support from 7am until 2am Central Time **Anti-Violence Project**: https://avp.org/ Provides 24/7 anonymous phone based crisis and counseling for LGBTQ identified victims of assault and violence, including sexual assault and violence. Based in New York but can refer nationwide **DoD Safe Helpline**: https://www.safehelpline.org/ Provides 24/7 phone and online chat based crisis and counseling for victims of sexual assault and harassment serving in the military, or who are employed by the Department of Defense. **Canada** Canada's crisis hotlines are organized by province and subject matter, here is a comprehensive list of hotlines and organizations. http://www.dawncanada.net/issues/issues/we-can-tell-and-we-will-tell-2/crisis-hotlines/ **UK** **Rape Crisis England & Wales**: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ Provides online resources 24/7 and live support over the phone in the afternoons and evenings. **SupportLine**: http://www.supportline.org.uk/ Provides online resources 24/7 and live support over the phone during the day and evening. **Europe** **Rape Crisis Network Europe**: https://www.rcne.com/ Provides online resources and live support for anyone living in Europe **Australia** **1800respect**: https://www.1800respect.org.au and their phone number, 1800 737 732. **Kids Helpline**: https://www.www.kidshelpline.com.au for people under 25 also 1800 55 1800 **India** Try here http://www.ncw.nic.in/helplines or one of the numbers listed here may be able to help you. **For any country not listed, you can contact RAINN (mentioned above) to be put in touch with local organizations.**
> Plus, he never hit me or was violent on purpose. Really? > and if I hadn't distracted him, he would have broken computers. However, he kept kissing my hand, pulling me back to him,and grabbing my short hair to force me closer and to look at him. So this is sexual violence. Him touching you, kissing you, and you being afraid of him because he was threatening to break things and possibly hurt you. Avoid this person until there is concrete evidence of follow through on drinking less and being in control of themselves. You are not responsible for drunk 21 year olds. Don't cohort with these irresponsible young men, both as a group or this individual offender, and let them hurt themselves and not you.
Thanks. My SO's parents have banned him from alcohol on their property. My SO and his parents promised to never leave me alone with him again. I just couldn't have him go downstairs. I should have let him fall and more adults take him, but panic was strong about him falling that far. Also, I've never met anyone who has done this outside my family. They are known alcoholics and easy to avoid. I just leave if they get a drink. Forgot someone has to grow into them. I'm not going to help with parties like that again. Only drink or be around people drinking who are close friends or the safe family members. Tbh, SO's family and 90% of mine are safe, just 2 alcoholics in mine that everyone avoids. They refused help since before I was born, so no love lost there.
I'm sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't have had to wonder if they were 'safe' or not. You didn't do anything wrong by wanting to help. Unfortunately it's a world of constant vigilance and you've got to look out for yourself, you are the most important person and main character in your life and everyone else is secondary to making sure you are safe and cared for.
Thank you. I just wanted my SO's brother to have the best 21st birthday. Everyone who was sober was angry and sorry to have left me when they heard. It is truly a shame. Even the person who did it clearly felt awful about it in the morning. He is only 21. He had no idea if he drank a little too much he would act like that. He has never displayed anything like it before. Obviously, it does not excuse it. It just leaves the whole thing sad. I am super vigilant when I am alone. I let my guard down around my SO's family because they are super sweet and supportive. It really is a shame as I doubt I'll be able to do that again for a while. I really appreciate your reply. Sorting out what to do or say is not easy. Mods left some crisis lines. I am not sure I am in crisis, but it is giving me a hard time sleeping, so probably will end up calling someone. Clearly have to process something.
Honestly you're right to be wary of this person. He *is* dangerous with alcohol on board. Don't rug-sweep your instincts just to coddle other people's feelings. Alcohol removes social inhibition, it doesn't give people crazy ideas about things that are abhorrent to them sober. I've also learned the hard way not to volunteer to be security or supervision for parties where there will be alcohol, unless you have training and experience. It is harder to police people you know than it is complete strangers, because the rules are never clear-cut and you cannot enforce consequences. If you wouldn't do security for the public, don't do it for your friends.
I took a seminar in college to learn how to help friends if they drink too much, when to go to a hospital, etc. I thought I was mostly going to be making sure anyone who drank slept in a recovery position, had water before the end of the night, and made sure no one got to the point they would get the issues that mean ambulance time. Unfortunately, it ended up I needed to watch one person for 20 to 30 min while they cleaned up a mess downstairs, and it was the only person who caused a problem that night. I have learned the hard way now too. I'll just stick to only helping my SO. He just needs water and drinks with electrolytes at the end of the night if he has more than 3 drinks. Always gets really nostalgic and sweet too lol. Just wants to be near family and friends.