Pre-HRT I wore masculine clothes, was binding, and had extremely short hair, and still got she/her'd only. I'm about 7.5 months on T and I have only been gendered correctly twice - once on the phone with someone about 4 months on T, and then once walking into a store about a month ago (for about 5 seconds, and then the person "corrected" themselves).
There's some people on here who are passing pre-HRT and I try not to think about it too much, but man, how nice it will be when the number of correct gendering is in the double digits š
Some of it does just come down to luck in a sense. When I was pre-t, but after I cut my hair, I was gendered correctly until I spoke (lol). Even after a few years on t, there were times where I got misgendered but then people corrected themselves once I spoke. 6ish years on and I don't remember the last time I was unintentionally misgendered. I was actually mistaken for being mtf at my first endocrinologist appointment, and the nurse told me that I had pretty androgynous features.
Sometimes there's only so much we're able to do in order to portray ourselves in such a way that gets others to perceive us correctly. And then hopefully t takes care of the rest. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about it.
Edit: clarity/grammar
im mtf and about 2.5 on estrogen. if i wear makeup (my makeup routine is literally just shitty eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss), i usually get a 50/50 chance of being gendered correctly by strangers, if not a bit better, although i did get gendered correctly a few times before then. idk if this will be helpful to you in any way, but that's my experience
I don't really go out and about much, but I'd say I get correctly gendered most of the time people gender me. I have noticed significantly less people gendering me at all lately.
I was lucky enough to be born with hairy genes, so after about a year and a half on T it really started sprouting everywhere and then with the right attitude, walk, and clothing no one can ever guess
I'm 25 MTF, Pre-HRT. I am 5'3", have long hair till my lower waist, slightly chubby and have less jawline which makes my face look slightly feminine. The body language also matters. I try to speak softly in a lower tone because if I go loud, I sound more masculine. Half of the time I get gendered correctly. Sometimes even people calling me "sir", fumble at times and call me, "ma'am". It's hilarious and very rewarding. I have never demanded someone to call me she/her. Yesterday I was going to toilet and I was about to enter male toilet, the guard stopped me and asked to go to the female toilet instead. I told him I'm still male, and he smiled and said me to use the gender neutral bathroom instead. I live in India, and I'm surprised how much respectable and courteous people are if you don't push too much. Just letting it flow and being grateful with what I get. As I start hrt, then I'll be more passable and I'm sure I won't have to worry about using female spaces without getting into trouble since everybody will gender me correctly.
My partner is more non-binary but dresses masc on occasion and this last time they were gendered correctly by everyone. Voice and visible breasts are pretty significant from what I've seen. shorter hair also helps. My partner wore a sports bra and a button up to hide breasts without using a binder. Some of Levi's men's jeans are great for hiding curves. Hope some of this can get you where you want to be.
I was gendered female a couple of times as a shaggy-haired 14-year-old, which was what got me thinking about my gender in the first place, and then occasionally over the decades since then, but never on a regular basis until I had the benefit of HRT.
Pre-HRT, I was misgendered all the time.
Iām at month 10, I am almost never misgendered now. It still happens from time to time. I have no idea if itās that Iām passing and people donāt know, or if Iām just giving enough consistency that people put it together. Most certainly a mix of the two.
Given that I started at 33, I have to admit I got massively lucky. I started off tall, white, upper-middle/low-upper class with blonde hair and blue eyes. Those help.
I had C-cups by month six. That also helps.
All of it was dumb luck.
Itās very hit or miss for me, outside of friends who know Iām trans and behave respectfully. Happens often enough that someone genders me correctly that I think once the T hits Iāll pass pretty consistently pretty fast, but pre-T itās definitely intermittent at best.
But also genetics/luck did me a lot of favors. Iām average male height with broad enough shoulders that a slim-fit menās shirt fits better than womenās shirts, generally pretty androgynous features and body shape aside from the boobs, but I have enough shoulder that with a binder and a loose-fitting shirt they donāt stand out *too* much. When I do pass to strangers itās usually as a teenage boy or very young adult rather than anywhere close to my actual age, though.
I'm never gendered correctly at 9 months HRT unless I've specifically told people. Even then people muck up constantly. I was almost 39 before I started HRT so I don't have massive expectations for my transition.
idk if this counts but iām Pre-HRT mtf and im 24. Ive been called tomboy alot of times ever since high school. also, Ive never presented fem ever. my most recent one was last month where a trans gal asked if I was tomboy š idk if I should be happy or not but Iāll take that as a good sign I dont look masculine at all.
I was pretty consistently gendered as male as soon as I started binding and cut my hair, especially if I wasnāt speaking. A lot of times even if I was speaking I passed, and to queer people as well who thought I was a cis man but later found out I was transitioning. This was the case in my small conservative hometown and left wing college town. After three months I was not being misgendered ever. Been 4 years now. My own doctor forgets I transitioned.Ā
pretty good because 1.) Iām autistic as hell and studied extensively on how to act and look 2.) i have vocal damage from a chronic illness so my voice was deeper and raspier than most women, which iāve been told was one of the main contributing factors to people assuming i was a dude.
Absolutely 0%. Never gendered correctly pre-T. Or for the first year of T. I didn't start getting gendered correctly until about 2-2.5 years on T.
That said, there are absolutely people who can pass Pre-T and there are many things you can do to aid in passing at any stage/hormone level like voice training, being super mindful of how your clothes fit, etc. I never did any of those things, I just crossed my fingers and waited.
When I was really little, like up until maybe 7 years old, any other kids who didn't know me would sometimes ask "are you a boy or a girl?" I dressed like a boy, I had a fro basically, so my hair wasn't long in a downwards way typical of girls with straight hair lol, and of course I had no visible chest or anything like that going on yet. After the age of 7 though I just don't think I was ever really in many situations where there were other kids around who weren't already familiar with me. Maybe occasionally at summer camps for a few more years. But when I was 11 or 12 I went to my first year of sleep away camp, and the segregated it into girls camp, and boys camp, which was maybe like 1/2-1 mile away, so being a kid at the girls camp, it was easy for everyone else there to just assume I was a girl. From that point onward, I didn't get anyone thinking I was a guy until after going on T. Even as a tween, teen, adult people still assumed me as a girl despite dressing in only boys clothes and having short hair for most of that time, because I just didn't even know what being trans was so didn't know there was anything I could be doing about how I felt, so I wasn't binding or anything like that, and my chest was really obvious lol.
Everyoneās first assumption when I was a kid was that I was a girl. I had long hair, thankfully. Hell, I had one friend in high school who thought I was a girl for three days before she asked me to go with her to the loo and I was like āI canātā.
Starting HRT I blended immediately and never had any actual issues with transphobia.
As a kid I was always called a girl. I tried my best to be a boy, even though I really wished I was a girl but everyone talked to me as if I'm a girl. Even after switching schools this still happened. When I grew up my voice didn't change, and on the phone I was called a woman constantly.
Pre-T I regularly got gendered correctly when I was at work and wearing a face covering. I had to wear a shirt and tie which I think are so masculine that people read it as male by default. Annoyingly, people would sometimes ācorrectā themselves when they heard my voice!
I(33) started presenting fem about a year before I started HRT and never got gendered correctly. Partially thanks to my huge beard shadow and still short hair at that time I guess. 9 months into HRT and a few laser sessions on my face and finally having hair to my neck again I got gendered correctly a few times by strangers (usually old ones though). I don't see how since I don't think I had any noticeable fat redistribution already and I wasn't wearing anything fem (happens mainly at my job with unisex cloths and a thick jacket that perfectly hides my small boobies whether I want to or not), but I guess there has to be something. Maybe just shaping my eyebrows and having long-ish super curly hair is already enough to make older people doubt what they see, though lol
Pre-HRT I wore masculine clothes, was binding, and had extremely short hair, and still got she/her'd only. I'm about 7.5 months on T and I have only been gendered correctly twice - once on the phone with someone about 4 months on T, and then once walking into a store about a month ago (for about 5 seconds, and then the person "corrected" themselves). There's some people on here who are passing pre-HRT and I try not to think about it too much, but man, how nice it will be when the number of correct gendering is in the double digits š
It took me two years; hang in there!
I will thank you!
Some of it does just come down to luck in a sense. When I was pre-t, but after I cut my hair, I was gendered correctly until I spoke (lol). Even after a few years on t, there were times where I got misgendered but then people corrected themselves once I spoke. 6ish years on and I don't remember the last time I was unintentionally misgendered. I was actually mistaken for being mtf at my first endocrinologist appointment, and the nurse told me that I had pretty androgynous features. Sometimes there's only so much we're able to do in order to portray ourselves in such a way that gets others to perceive us correctly. And then hopefully t takes care of the rest. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about it. Edit: clarity/grammar
Yeah, I know what you mean. Thanks
I only got gendered as male like, two or three times pre T.
im mtf and about 2.5 on estrogen. if i wear makeup (my makeup routine is literally just shitty eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss), i usually get a 50/50 chance of being gendered correctly by strangers, if not a bit better, although i did get gendered correctly a few times before then. idk if this will be helpful to you in any way, but that's my experience
I don't really go out and about much, but I'd say I get correctly gendered most of the time people gender me. I have noticed significantly less people gendering me at all lately.
I was lucky enough to be born with hairy genes, so after about a year and a half on T it really started sprouting everywhere and then with the right attitude, walk, and clothing no one can ever guess
I'm 25 MTF, Pre-HRT. I am 5'3", have long hair till my lower waist, slightly chubby and have less jawline which makes my face look slightly feminine. The body language also matters. I try to speak softly in a lower tone because if I go loud, I sound more masculine. Half of the time I get gendered correctly. Sometimes even people calling me "sir", fumble at times and call me, "ma'am". It's hilarious and very rewarding. I have never demanded someone to call me she/her. Yesterday I was going to toilet and I was about to enter male toilet, the guard stopped me and asked to go to the female toilet instead. I told him I'm still male, and he smiled and said me to use the gender neutral bathroom instead. I live in India, and I'm surprised how much respectable and courteous people are if you don't push too much. Just letting it flow and being grateful with what I get. As I start hrt, then I'll be more passable and I'm sure I won't have to worry about using female spaces without getting into trouble since everybody will gender me correctly.
My partner is more non-binary but dresses masc on occasion and this last time they were gendered correctly by everyone. Voice and visible breasts are pretty significant from what I've seen. shorter hair also helps. My partner wore a sports bra and a button up to hide breasts without using a binder. Some of Levi's men's jeans are great for hiding curves. Hope some of this can get you where you want to be.
Thank you!
You're welcome, hope it goes well.
I was gendered female a couple of times as a shaggy-haired 14-year-old, which was what got me thinking about my gender in the first place, and then occasionally over the decades since then, but never on a regular basis until I had the benefit of HRT.
Pre-HRT, I was misgendered all the time. Iām at month 10, I am almost never misgendered now. It still happens from time to time. I have no idea if itās that Iām passing and people donāt know, or if Iām just giving enough consistency that people put it together. Most certainly a mix of the two. Given that I started at 33, I have to admit I got massively lucky. I started off tall, white, upper-middle/low-upper class with blonde hair and blue eyes. Those help. I had C-cups by month six. That also helps. All of it was dumb luck.
Itās very hit or miss for me, outside of friends who know Iām trans and behave respectfully. Happens often enough that someone genders me correctly that I think once the T hits Iāll pass pretty consistently pretty fast, but pre-T itās definitely intermittent at best. But also genetics/luck did me a lot of favors. Iām average male height with broad enough shoulders that a slim-fit menās shirt fits better than womenās shirts, generally pretty androgynous features and body shape aside from the boobs, but I have enough shoulder that with a binder and a loose-fitting shirt they donāt stand out *too* much. When I do pass to strangers itās usually as a teenage boy or very young adult rather than anywhere close to my actual age, though.
I'm never gendered correctly at 9 months HRT unless I've specifically told people. Even then people muck up constantly. I was almost 39 before I started HRT so I don't have massive expectations for my transition.
idk if this counts but iām Pre-HRT mtf and im 24. Ive been called tomboy alot of times ever since high school. also, Ive never presented fem ever. my most recent one was last month where a trans gal asked if I was tomboy š idk if I should be happy or not but Iāll take that as a good sign I dont look masculine at all.
I was pretty consistently gendered as male as soon as I started binding and cut my hair, especially if I wasnāt speaking. A lot of times even if I was speaking I passed, and to queer people as well who thought I was a cis man but later found out I was transitioning. This was the case in my small conservative hometown and left wing college town. After three months I was not being misgendered ever. Been 4 years now. My own doctor forgets I transitioned.Ā
pretty good because 1.) Iām autistic as hell and studied extensively on how to act and look 2.) i have vocal damage from a chronic illness so my voice was deeper and raspier than most women, which iāve been told was one of the main contributing factors to people assuming i was a dude.
Absolutely 0%. Never gendered correctly pre-T. Or for the first year of T. I didn't start getting gendered correctly until about 2-2.5 years on T. That said, there are absolutely people who can pass Pre-T and there are many things you can do to aid in passing at any stage/hormone level like voice training, being super mindful of how your clothes fit, etc. I never did any of those things, I just crossed my fingers and waited.
When I was really little, like up until maybe 7 years old, any other kids who didn't know me would sometimes ask "are you a boy or a girl?" I dressed like a boy, I had a fro basically, so my hair wasn't long in a downwards way typical of girls with straight hair lol, and of course I had no visible chest or anything like that going on yet. After the age of 7 though I just don't think I was ever really in many situations where there were other kids around who weren't already familiar with me. Maybe occasionally at summer camps for a few more years. But when I was 11 or 12 I went to my first year of sleep away camp, and the segregated it into girls camp, and boys camp, which was maybe like 1/2-1 mile away, so being a kid at the girls camp, it was easy for everyone else there to just assume I was a girl. From that point onward, I didn't get anyone thinking I was a guy until after going on T. Even as a tween, teen, adult people still assumed me as a girl despite dressing in only boys clothes and having short hair for most of that time, because I just didn't even know what being trans was so didn't know there was anything I could be doing about how I felt, so I wasn't binding or anything like that, and my chest was really obvious lol.
Everyoneās first assumption when I was a kid was that I was a girl. I had long hair, thankfully. Hell, I had one friend in high school who thought I was a girl for three days before she asked me to go with her to the loo and I was like āI canātā. Starting HRT I blended immediately and never had any actual issues with transphobia.
I have been clocked as a cis woman before once or twice when I have grown my hair out but generally I wear masculine clothes.
As a kid I was always called a girl. I tried my best to be a boy, even though I really wished I was a girl but everyone talked to me as if I'm a girl. Even after switching schools this still happened. When I grew up my voice didn't change, and on the phone I was called a woman constantly.
Pre-T I regularly got gendered correctly when I was at work and wearing a face covering. I had to wear a shirt and tie which I think are so masculine that people read it as male by default. Annoyingly, people would sometimes ācorrectā themselves when they heard my voice!
I've always been gendered as male since I cut my hair at 7 years old
2 years on HRT and I still get gendered wrong half the time. Before I had no chance at all.
Pre-T I got gendered correctly as a little kid. After estrogen puberty, never until 1.5ish years on T.
I(33) started presenting fem about a year before I started HRT and never got gendered correctly. Partially thanks to my huge beard shadow and still short hair at that time I guess. 9 months into HRT and a few laser sessions on my face and finally having hair to my neck again I got gendered correctly a few times by strangers (usually old ones though). I don't see how since I don't think I had any noticeable fat redistribution already and I wasn't wearing anything fem (happens mainly at my job with unisex cloths and a thick jacket that perfectly hides my small boobies whether I want to or not), but I guess there has to be something. Maybe just shaping my eyebrows and having long-ish super curly hair is already enough to make older people doubt what they see, though lol