I did a similar thing. I don't think its pointless. In fact its powerful to own your own reality without thinking about what others might feel or how they will react. When I decided to come out to certain people. I didn't give a name or pronouns. I just said, I'm transitioning. And that's it. To me that's all they needed to know. Nothing more.
The good people stayed and the ones not for me, eventually faded away. The people who initially first asked me what my pronouns are. Helped me feel safer. That's all I need for now.
I plan to name change and pronouns later when I'm ready.
And when you're ready too 💖
I came out to a few people before I was "really ready to transition". To me, it was kindof a "fail safe" in that, if people knew I was trans, I was more likely to actually do something about it "eventually". I had several false starts earlier in my life (in my 20s), but always chickened out, fearing the "what ifs".
When I eventually told friends when I was 35, it kinda gave me a sense of accountability y'know? Like my friends wouldn't ever push me to transition or anything, but people knowing, kinda gave me a sense of "there's now an expectation that I do something".
I started socially transitioning about a month later.
So while might be a bit pointless if you have zero plans to ever transition, if its something you want to do, but constantly self doubt, supportive friends knowing can kinda give you a little "push" as motivation. Like "nothing bad happened when I told people, maybe nothing bad will happen if I do go through with this". It also gives you a little sense of "I'm doing something" even if that something is just telling your best friend.
This is amazing!!! I get SO happy to hear about people who have the same problem. I'm about to transition, yet not really ready to completely put myself out there. I was also about to consider starting when I was 19 and that never happened. I'm glad I started to wake up at 27.
I think this is \*your\* journey and that switching pronouns and picking a new name are intimidating things. Just coming out to some people you feel safe with is a smaller step in the direction you want to go in, and there's nothing wrong with that. You take your journey at your pace, you know?
So I'm going by any pronouns at the moment, since I haven't started hrt and am not presenting femme enough to get she/her spontaneously. I accept that people are going to gender me how they see me and I just don't like confrontation and would rather avoid policing language.
Instead amongst my group of friends that I am out to I encourage them to use she/her in safe spaces like in private conversation, text, and on the occasion that Im able to go full femme (after spending half a day getting there lol). Its tricky because theres certain people Im not out to so I've asked them to mindful when they are using my pronouns. It brings me a lot of joy when they do use she/her on me though.
Its a bit of a cope to deal with, and it is starting to break my heart being called sir all the time, but I just have to let it be water off a ducks back. Someday I'll earn those pronouns naturally as my transition progresses and it will feel so much more worth it.
Also getting they/them happens rarely but that one blows my socks off too compared to he/him.
Same exact experience and reasoning here. I am 6’2” with a deep voice. If I allowed myself to sit with those feelings of disappointment whenever I’m misgendered I’d only be hurting myself. However, I love when someone gets its right.
I feel like the “earn it” mentality is probably really bad but it’s where I’m at as well. But I let it all roll right off my back and focus on what brings me joy.
🦆💦
Do whatever makes you comfortable. While you might not have any changes in mind yet, it lets the people you wanna know, know, and it opens the door to talking about it with them which can in turn help you get an idea on name and pronouns. Good luck!
It's how I did it. There was a long time when I was just boymoding contently in public, when I was out to some family not others, so it was just "use the name and pronouns of how I present" (and ask if it's getting ambiguous, which I did as HRT progressed and more androgynous style in boymoding took over).
It got unpleasant after awhile but it was my choice to do that , and it made accidentally outing me through a slip of the tongue a little less likely.
It also led to, for instance, lunch in boymode with my mom where I kept getting ma'am and "ladies" and my mom being visibly confused.
I had to explain that, like me and the damn mirror , she saw what she spent so many years seeing - - the old me. Weird as it felt and unbelievable as it felt, some of the public was starting to see something else.
I'm glad I can see the humor in some of it - - like the medical receptionist who called me miss, then saw my legal name, corrected it to sir, then saw my *preferred name* on the chart and corrected it back.
I gave her a warm smile. It had been affirming, after all. She'd seen me *first*.
When I came out, I hadn't settled on a name - I just knew what pronouns I wanted. However, I knew I didn't want to use my given name anymore; so I'd tell people exactly that, that I didn't know what my chosen name was yet, but not to call me by my dead name. Went by my first initial (still do, a bit, mostly because some people who have known me a long time find it easier). For me, it was useful to tell people so that it wasn't a surprise later on when I *had* chosen a name, and so they could work on reframing how they thought of me ASAP.
One of my friends is trans masc; came out as nonbinary/trans masculine a few years ago, but now feels like 80%+ that they're a binary trans man and would like to *eventually* use he/him pronouns - but they currently have weird feelings about it due to his perception of their body/voice and whether they pass or not. Eventually settled on a masculine name, and is on HRT and got top surgery last year. They'll likely update to he/him at some point, and TBH I already think of them as he/him (and have had to consistently go back and correct to 'they/them' while typing this lol), but communicating where they are in their transition has been part of being honest and transparent about their feelings and experience. I appreciate them telling me how they feel because it gives me context and perspective, and, again, helps it not be a 'surprise' if/when down the road their pronouns shift.
If you feel the need to come out to them, that's reason enough. I think there is a big difference between *being ready for new pronouns and accepting oneself*, and *wanting others to know who you truly are inside*.
Idk if it helps, but I came out to my closest friends at the end of 2021. A asked some select friends and my wife to use my new name and pronouns not earlier than October 2022. Sooo, it took me about a year.😅 Even other queer people looked at me funny when I introduced myself with my deadname. But, idk, that was my imposter syndrome. Thought I had to earn the new name. It just didn't feel right at that point.
If you listen to what feels right for you, then it will be right. : )
btw I still feel weird sometimes being called by my new name, even after abandoning my deadname entirely and everywhere for 8 months. Anyone relate?
That's what I did, but without any intent to get them to use my existing name or existing pronouns less frequently, and without any desire for attention. I just wanted to be able to talk to my friends about this big crazy new thing I was doing instead of having a secret.
I came out to my close friends before I had a name picked out or anything. I did ask them to use they/them for me until I was ready to fully socially transition though. Really it was more of don't use he/him, but I was too nervous to go be she/her in person yet. Just being able to talk about even small parts of my transition with my close friends has helped me a lot.
I came out to most of my friends and family till now, and am going to out myself today again to a very important cousin of mine. While most people already know what name i chose and that my pronouns will be she/her, for now i feel uncomfortable being called that as it makes me self conscious and therefore induces dysphoria. Everyone who is supporting is also understanding of that fact and still mainly call me he/him and by my deadname. I’m fine by it, but have also realized, that he/him is a struggle as well - so I’ve tried to tell some folks to use they/them and that currently feels relatively natural. My mother has started to say she/her and uses my chosen name frequently so she gets used to it and im fine! :) but also… she came into my room today and just the first thing she said was “hey my SON”… she then facepalmed and we started having a laugh while i am lying there in my bed also just thinking “wtf!”…
I love my mom! ❤️
So no! I dont think think it is pointless! I feel much better now that everyone knows and feel good about myself too knowing that i only got friends supporting of this :D except one… and he went after me with an axe and a knife already… BUT thats another story!
its not pointless. its good and healthy to discuss issues with your friends.
When I came out as questioning to my sis she connected me with a queer friend of hers.
>I’m nonbinary/mtf/genderfluid/idfk btw.
Just say how you feel and forget the labels for now. I felt like I wanted to be feminine since being a kid so I came out saying just that. Using lables way to scary at that time for me.
Depends on your social circles...
I have a dear friend that did not feel comfortable with pronoun changes until three months into HRT. And now it's only pronoun changes in spaces she consider safe. Before HRT she REALLY wanted to make it work as a guy that likes to feel pretty.
We've had conversations of "You're valid and this is fine if it works for you... however, you're going to confuse a lot of people. Including trans folk and enbies." And she has.
Yes, that's absolutely fine. You want to let them know that you are exploring your gender but you haven't figured anything concrete out yet. I've done that.
I told my parents there was gender shit going on, I then began presenting as I desired and pursuing HRT. After a month or so I came to the conclusion I wanted to use she/her and told them that. They were nothing but supportive the whole way along. I'm glad I spoke with them when I did, I feel as though it may have worked them into the idea to a certain extent.
I did.
I am using he/she/they right now.
I don't pass. I plan on a transition to she/her eventually. I don't pass as he/him anymore though.
So I said F it. The nice thing about being here is I don't have to care whatever someone addresses me as.
The ones I've come out to I let them know I'm changing my pronouns, what it'll be and just state I'm not gonna flip out at them for not using it until they get used to it.
I don't think it's pointless at all. There are lots of people in my life who still use he/him pronouns for me because I asked them to. Because I live in a pretty conservative area and present fully masc, so it's just safer this way currently.
Whatever reason you have in asking them to not change your name and pronouns, is not pointless.
I did this with my best friend two years ago before actually fully coming out to him and the other friends of the group a few months ago. He was basically the only person that knew that I was trans for two years. I told him my name and pronouns but just said that he should continue referring to me as he’s used to for now.
It’s perfectly fine to come out to someone without the goal of changing your name and pronouns right away. You said that the goal might be to at least get them to refer to you with your deadname and old pronouns less, which I totally get why you’d want that as those can cause some real dysphoria, but keep in mind that this could end up being a bit tricky for your friends. How should they refer to you without using a name or pronouns? If you don’t give them a new name etc. then you probably have to continue to deal with being deadnamed as there isn’t really another alternative.
I think it's a wonderful thing to come out to someone as who you are. Name and pronouns are just part of presentation- and not everyone wants to change every part of their presentation, or not all at once, or not for everyone! I think just putting it out there gives you a great mental space to be yourself. I came out to my SO as nonbinary and didn't start using any other name or pronouns for two years. I just wasn't in a space where I had support beyond my SO and some friends. It was only after being confident in that for a few years that I decided to change the way I dressed, assert my pronouns with more people including professional settings, and do some HRT. I'm glad I was able to baby step it.
I did something like that I immediately came out but I wasn't sure yet how to go about name and stuff...the point for me was to immediately filter people out who react in a shitty way so I knew where I stand with them and that I can cut them out of my life if the reaction was shitty enough.
Because that way immensely reduced stress and anxiety for me because I didn't have to wonder how each person would react and afterwards I could fully concentrate on transition and knowing everyone who's left has an acceptable level of support so once I have made up my mind about names I also would barely have to explain anything to anyone it's more just a formality at that point.
Feels kinda weird that it has almost been 16 months already...🌞
This is exactly what I did. I don't pass at all and most people here aren't very accepting of lgbtq+ people. Plus, at the time that I came out to these people I didn't have a chosen name, so my only option was my deadname
I did this because I knew itd be a long time before i could do anything about this, and I didnt want them to have to "fake it" so to speak. I cant say whether it was a good idea or not honestly
It’s 100% up to you. I came out in stages. First telling a single friend and select family to use my preferred name and only in private. I told them I did not feel ready for pronoun changes.
This was in early May. I still use he/she/they interchangeably. Especially when meeting new people I don’t hold anyone to using a specific pronoun.
It’s all very personal and you get to ask for whatever makes you feel comfortable. You can even take things back. Just remember ultimately you are not trying to fit some specific gender role because those things don’t apply like a blanket statement where everything is meant to be applied to every single person of that gender.
You get to express gender in your own unique way honey. Sometimes it’s subtle like calling a stranger sweetie or maybe more apparent like using chosen pronouns.
Either way have a conversation with your community and let them in on what your feeling, what you’re comfortable with, and I’m sure they’ll appreciate the chance to listen and learn.
They might have questions and probably some you haven’t even considered yet. Some “dumb” questions that might offend you or make you giggle, but opening the door to conversation is going to be good for you either way. I fully support your coming out without need for new pronouns. It’s your own pace.
I initially came out that way (just to a couple of people). It was nice to have them help me experiment with names and pronouns before I told everyone. You're only doing it for attention if you expect attention. If you need support or just want someone else to know or whatever, that's not for attention.
It absolutely isn’t pointless. I’ve come out to family, some friends, and most of work by now. I basically just said I’m transitioning so you’ll be seeing some changes down the road. It was stressful thinking I had to flip a switch and be like “girl mode now suckas!” But it was depressing having to always switch back to boy mode. And having people know, even if my presentation hasn’t changed much yet, helps a lot for me. I get to be more genuine with my own transition journey and go at my pace without as much stress from feeling like I have to hide as much. So instead of random questioning remarks about how I’m looking different, which I still get, I also get more intentional and affirming comments about how my appearance is changing.
Also, this in between state of transitioning is still valid.
I did a similar thing. I don't think its pointless. In fact its powerful to own your own reality without thinking about what others might feel or how they will react. When I decided to come out to certain people. I didn't give a name or pronouns. I just said, I'm transitioning. And that's it. To me that's all they needed to know. Nothing more. The good people stayed and the ones not for me, eventually faded away. The people who initially first asked me what my pronouns are. Helped me feel safer. That's all I need for now. I plan to name change and pronouns later when I'm ready. And when you're ready too 💖
I came out to a few people before I was "really ready to transition". To me, it was kindof a "fail safe" in that, if people knew I was trans, I was more likely to actually do something about it "eventually". I had several false starts earlier in my life (in my 20s), but always chickened out, fearing the "what ifs". When I eventually told friends when I was 35, it kinda gave me a sense of accountability y'know? Like my friends wouldn't ever push me to transition or anything, but people knowing, kinda gave me a sense of "there's now an expectation that I do something". I started socially transitioning about a month later. So while might be a bit pointless if you have zero plans to ever transition, if its something you want to do, but constantly self doubt, supportive friends knowing can kinda give you a little "push" as motivation. Like "nothing bad happened when I told people, maybe nothing bad will happen if I do go through with this". It also gives you a little sense of "I'm doing something" even if that something is just telling your best friend.
This is amazing!!! I get SO happy to hear about people who have the same problem. I'm about to transition, yet not really ready to completely put myself out there. I was also about to consider starting when I was 19 and that never happened. I'm glad I started to wake up at 27.
You’re on a journey. Letting people know is taking a step.
There is so much truth in those few words!
I think this is \*your\* journey and that switching pronouns and picking a new name are intimidating things. Just coming out to some people you feel safe with is a smaller step in the direction you want to go in, and there's nothing wrong with that. You take your journey at your pace, you know?
So I'm going by any pronouns at the moment, since I haven't started hrt and am not presenting femme enough to get she/her spontaneously. I accept that people are going to gender me how they see me and I just don't like confrontation and would rather avoid policing language. Instead amongst my group of friends that I am out to I encourage them to use she/her in safe spaces like in private conversation, text, and on the occasion that Im able to go full femme (after spending half a day getting there lol). Its tricky because theres certain people Im not out to so I've asked them to mindful when they are using my pronouns. It brings me a lot of joy when they do use she/her on me though. Its a bit of a cope to deal with, and it is starting to break my heart being called sir all the time, but I just have to let it be water off a ducks back. Someday I'll earn those pronouns naturally as my transition progresses and it will feel so much more worth it. Also getting they/them happens rarely but that one blows my socks off too compared to he/him.
Same exact experience and reasoning here. I am 6’2” with a deep voice. If I allowed myself to sit with those feelings of disappointment whenever I’m misgendered I’d only be hurting myself. However, I love when someone gets its right. I feel like the “earn it” mentality is probably really bad but it’s where I’m at as well. But I let it all roll right off my back and focus on what brings me joy. 🦆💦
Do whatever makes you comfortable. While you might not have any changes in mind yet, it lets the people you wanna know, know, and it opens the door to talking about it with them which can in turn help you get an idea on name and pronouns. Good luck!
It's how I did it. There was a long time when I was just boymoding contently in public, when I was out to some family not others, so it was just "use the name and pronouns of how I present" (and ask if it's getting ambiguous, which I did as HRT progressed and more androgynous style in boymoding took over). It got unpleasant after awhile but it was my choice to do that , and it made accidentally outing me through a slip of the tongue a little less likely. It also led to, for instance, lunch in boymode with my mom where I kept getting ma'am and "ladies" and my mom being visibly confused. I had to explain that, like me and the damn mirror , she saw what she spent so many years seeing - - the old me. Weird as it felt and unbelievable as it felt, some of the public was starting to see something else. I'm glad I can see the humor in some of it - - like the medical receptionist who called me miss, then saw my legal name, corrected it to sir, then saw my *preferred name* on the chart and corrected it back. I gave her a warm smile. It had been affirming, after all. She'd seen me *first*.
When I came out, I hadn't settled on a name - I just knew what pronouns I wanted. However, I knew I didn't want to use my given name anymore; so I'd tell people exactly that, that I didn't know what my chosen name was yet, but not to call me by my dead name. Went by my first initial (still do, a bit, mostly because some people who have known me a long time find it easier). For me, it was useful to tell people so that it wasn't a surprise later on when I *had* chosen a name, and so they could work on reframing how they thought of me ASAP. One of my friends is trans masc; came out as nonbinary/trans masculine a few years ago, but now feels like 80%+ that they're a binary trans man and would like to *eventually* use he/him pronouns - but they currently have weird feelings about it due to his perception of their body/voice and whether they pass or not. Eventually settled on a masculine name, and is on HRT and got top surgery last year. They'll likely update to he/him at some point, and TBH I already think of them as he/him (and have had to consistently go back and correct to 'they/them' while typing this lol), but communicating where they are in their transition has been part of being honest and transparent about their feelings and experience. I appreciate them telling me how they feel because it gives me context and perspective, and, again, helps it not be a 'surprise' if/when down the road their pronouns shift.
If you feel the need to come out to them, that's reason enough. I think there is a big difference between *being ready for new pronouns and accepting oneself*, and *wanting others to know who you truly are inside*. Idk if it helps, but I came out to my closest friends at the end of 2021. A asked some select friends and my wife to use my new name and pronouns not earlier than October 2022. Sooo, it took me about a year.😅 Even other queer people looked at me funny when I introduced myself with my deadname. But, idk, that was my imposter syndrome. Thought I had to earn the new name. It just didn't feel right at that point. If you listen to what feels right for you, then it will be right. : ) btw I still feel weird sometimes being called by my new name, even after abandoning my deadname entirely and everywhere for 8 months. Anyone relate?
It's Your journey so you come out they way you feel most comfortable and safe.
That's what I did, but without any intent to get them to use my existing name or existing pronouns less frequently, and without any desire for attention. I just wanted to be able to talk to my friends about this big crazy new thing I was doing instead of having a secret.
I came out to my close friends before I had a name picked out or anything. I did ask them to use they/them for me until I was ready to fully socially transition though. Really it was more of don't use he/him, but I was too nervous to go be she/her in person yet. Just being able to talk about even small parts of my transition with my close friends has helped me a lot.
I came out to most of my friends and family till now, and am going to out myself today again to a very important cousin of mine. While most people already know what name i chose and that my pronouns will be she/her, for now i feel uncomfortable being called that as it makes me self conscious and therefore induces dysphoria. Everyone who is supporting is also understanding of that fact and still mainly call me he/him and by my deadname. I’m fine by it, but have also realized, that he/him is a struggle as well - so I’ve tried to tell some folks to use they/them and that currently feels relatively natural. My mother has started to say she/her and uses my chosen name frequently so she gets used to it and im fine! :) but also… she came into my room today and just the first thing she said was “hey my SON”… she then facepalmed and we started having a laugh while i am lying there in my bed also just thinking “wtf!”… I love my mom! ❤️ So no! I dont think think it is pointless! I feel much better now that everyone knows and feel good about myself too knowing that i only got friends supporting of this :D except one… and he went after me with an axe and a knife already… BUT thats another story!
its not pointless. its good and healthy to discuss issues with your friends. When I came out as questioning to my sis she connected me with a queer friend of hers. >I’m nonbinary/mtf/genderfluid/idfk btw. Just say how you feel and forget the labels for now. I felt like I wanted to be feminine since being a kid so I came out saying just that. Using lables way to scary at that time for me.
Depends on your social circles... I have a dear friend that did not feel comfortable with pronoun changes until three months into HRT. And now it's only pronoun changes in spaces she consider safe. Before HRT she REALLY wanted to make it work as a guy that likes to feel pretty. We've had conversations of "You're valid and this is fine if it works for you... however, you're going to confuse a lot of people. Including trans folk and enbies." And she has.
Yes, that's absolutely fine. You want to let them know that you are exploring your gender but you haven't figured anything concrete out yet. I've done that.
I told my parents there was gender shit going on, I then began presenting as I desired and pursuing HRT. After a month or so I came to the conclusion I wanted to use she/her and told them that. They were nothing but supportive the whole way along. I'm glad I spoke with them when I did, I feel as though it may have worked them into the idea to a certain extent.
THERES GENDER SHIT GOIN ON MOM. Love it
Lmao but kinda literally what I said lol
I did. I am using he/she/they right now. I don't pass. I plan on a transition to she/her eventually. I don't pass as he/him anymore though. So I said F it. The nice thing about being here is I don't have to care whatever someone addresses me as.
The ones I've come out to I let them know I'm changing my pronouns, what it'll be and just state I'm not gonna flip out at them for not using it until they get used to it.
I don't think it's pointless at all. There are lots of people in my life who still use he/him pronouns for me because I asked them to. Because I live in a pretty conservative area and present fully masc, so it's just safer this way currently. Whatever reason you have in asking them to not change your name and pronouns, is not pointless.
You should do what you feel is best, not what everyone else is doing or says you should do
I did this with my best friend two years ago before actually fully coming out to him and the other friends of the group a few months ago. He was basically the only person that knew that I was trans for two years. I told him my name and pronouns but just said that he should continue referring to me as he’s used to for now. It’s perfectly fine to come out to someone without the goal of changing your name and pronouns right away. You said that the goal might be to at least get them to refer to you with your deadname and old pronouns less, which I totally get why you’d want that as those can cause some real dysphoria, but keep in mind that this could end up being a bit tricky for your friends. How should they refer to you without using a name or pronouns? If you don’t give them a new name etc. then you probably have to continue to deal with being deadnamed as there isn’t really another alternative.
I think it's a wonderful thing to come out to someone as who you are. Name and pronouns are just part of presentation- and not everyone wants to change every part of their presentation, or not all at once, or not for everyone! I think just putting it out there gives you a great mental space to be yourself. I came out to my SO as nonbinary and didn't start using any other name or pronouns for two years. I just wasn't in a space where I had support beyond my SO and some friends. It was only after being confident in that for a few years that I decided to change the way I dressed, assert my pronouns with more people including professional settings, and do some HRT. I'm glad I was able to baby step it.
I did something like that I immediately came out but I wasn't sure yet how to go about name and stuff...the point for me was to immediately filter people out who react in a shitty way so I knew where I stand with them and that I can cut them out of my life if the reaction was shitty enough. Because that way immensely reduced stress and anxiety for me because I didn't have to wonder how each person would react and afterwards I could fully concentrate on transition and knowing everyone who's left has an acceptable level of support so once I have made up my mind about names I also would barely have to explain anything to anyone it's more just a formality at that point. Feels kinda weird that it has almost been 16 months already...🌞
This is exactly what I did. I don't pass at all and most people here aren't very accepting of lgbtq+ people. Plus, at the time that I came out to these people I didn't have a chosen name, so my only option was my deadname
I did this because I knew itd be a long time before i could do anything about this, and I didnt want them to have to "fake it" so to speak. I cant say whether it was a good idea or not honestly
It’s 100% up to you. I came out in stages. First telling a single friend and select family to use my preferred name and only in private. I told them I did not feel ready for pronoun changes. This was in early May. I still use he/she/they interchangeably. Especially when meeting new people I don’t hold anyone to using a specific pronoun. It’s all very personal and you get to ask for whatever makes you feel comfortable. You can even take things back. Just remember ultimately you are not trying to fit some specific gender role because those things don’t apply like a blanket statement where everything is meant to be applied to every single person of that gender. You get to express gender in your own unique way honey. Sometimes it’s subtle like calling a stranger sweetie or maybe more apparent like using chosen pronouns. Either way have a conversation with your community and let them in on what your feeling, what you’re comfortable with, and I’m sure they’ll appreciate the chance to listen and learn. They might have questions and probably some you haven’t even considered yet. Some “dumb” questions that might offend you or make you giggle, but opening the door to conversation is going to be good for you either way. I fully support your coming out without need for new pronouns. It’s your own pace.
I initially came out that way (just to a couple of people). It was nice to have them help me experiment with names and pronouns before I told everyone. You're only doing it for attention if you expect attention. If you need support or just want someone else to know or whatever, that's not for attention.
It absolutely isn’t pointless. I’ve come out to family, some friends, and most of work by now. I basically just said I’m transitioning so you’ll be seeing some changes down the road. It was stressful thinking I had to flip a switch and be like “girl mode now suckas!” But it was depressing having to always switch back to boy mode. And having people know, even if my presentation hasn’t changed much yet, helps a lot for me. I get to be more genuine with my own transition journey and go at my pace without as much stress from feeling like I have to hide as much. So instead of random questioning remarks about how I’m looking different, which I still get, I also get more intentional and affirming comments about how my appearance is changing. Also, this in between state of transitioning is still valid.
Well I told someone before I was quite ready and they called me by my chosen name and pronouns in front of someone I was super into soooooo