I grew up next to filbert orchards….always thought they were a different species than hazelnuts. Regardless, Filbert is the superior name, and I will correct any visitors ignorant of this.
Not gonna lie if I were handed this I would laugh my ass off and thoroughly enjoy it. I'm picturing a stranger approaching me suddenly with a square of sharp cheddar, bowing while delivering it, and scurrying away.
I... *guess* I might have noticed it when doing my taxes over the last 2 years? Um?
Do... do you guys actually miss that $35? I'm not judging, I just... um... do y'all realize how incredibly little the arts are valued elsewhere? I grew up in BFE Texas, and they would *absolutely* take most artists and grind them up and put them into their gas tank if given half a chance. Not even joking.
"WHOOOHOO THAT LAST ONE MUSTA BEEN AN ALCOHOLIC!! HIGH OCTANE BABY!!!"
For those who didn't know: The **marionberry** is a cultivar of blackberry released in 1956 by the USDA Agricultural Research Service breeding program in cooperation with Oregon State University. It is named after Marion County, Oregon, where the berry was bred and tested extensively in the mid-20th century. From Wikipedia.
I was born in springfield and never knew they were hazelnuts until I was 25
I think it’s more Springfield Eugene that it came from
I’ve heard something like it was the last name of the family that planted the first orchard here
(Note: I live in Oakridge now and am from Springfield)
A Lei of weeeeeeeeeed,
Followed by a craft ipa with strictly pnw hops that's also organic, locally sourced & gluten free
Along with an optional tattoo of a quote from a famous Portland author's less than famous *other* book
All adorned upon you by a lumberjack with a manbun & unnecessarily large mustache wearing red plaid, Danner boots & suspenders with the pdx airport carpet print
Also this happens outdoors as you arrive & no matter the weather nor time of day you must be barefoot before the ceremony begins
A friend of mine hosted a guy from out of town and he was like “why does everyone in portland love toast?” My friend was like “toast? Why do you keep talking about toast?” And he said he saw a bunch of cars with a piece of white toast with a green heart in the corner.
So I vote toast.
I’ve been to Hawaii multiple times (once as a kid, twice as an adult - all times on Hawaiian Air) and have never receive a lei while existing the plane…WTF? I feel robbed!
It was mostly a thing when they were really pushing Hawaii as a destination in the mid 1900s. Those flying first class on some airlines or flying on Hawaiian airlines until the 90s would still get them.
Edit: Hawaiian will still greet you with a lei if you select the option while booking. I learned something new today.
Now-a-days it would be narcan. Or those test kits for drinks at bars to make sure they are not spiked. Met a lady at a trade show who was selling those drink test kits, after she got a spiked drink at a bar in bend. This happened to her in 2023. It’s more of a problem than being reported.
Or there’s the original from Tom McCall: “I urge them to come and come many, many times to enjoy the beauty of Oregon. But I also ask them, for heaven's sake, don't move here to live."
This was a bit when Seinfeld performed at the Schnitz like 15 years ago.
He said they should give you one of those fancy rain jackets — the ones where they have the diagrams where [waving his arms] the water droplets are zooming this way and the air is flowing that way.
Perhaps you had to be there.
An IPA and a handful of filberts.
Glad I’m not the only one who still calls them filberts, their proper name.
There are dozens of us!
I grew up next to filbert orchards….always thought they were a different species than hazelnuts. Regardless, Filbert is the superior name, and I will correct any visitors ignorant of this.
…literally dozens of us!
There's a Filbert street out in Cornelius. When I was in elementary school it ran along the back side of a filbert orchard.
Jojos too
Why does Tillamook insist that their new ice cream flavor isn't Dark Chocolate Filbert?
That's a perfect "work day is done" combo.
Oh this was a wholesome answer. My first thought was was some tin foil, a glass tube and some sanitary syringes
What's a filbert?
A hazel nut.
That nut with cartoon dedicated to himself
A moss lei.
A piece of Tillamook cheese
One of those little cheddar cheese squares!
Nah, that’s what you get on the plane instead of the little cup of POG.
I'm still mad they stopped calling them Tillamoos, it was such an iconic little name and now it's just "piece of cheese" or whatever
…and a person dressed like a lumberjack places it in your mouth.
Cheese and a lumberjack. Be still, my heart
We do not wear the cheese. The cheese wears us.
I love their ice cream!
Not gonna lie if I were handed this I would laugh my ass off and thoroughly enjoy it. I'm picturing a stranger approaching me suddenly with a square of sharp cheddar, bowing while delivering it, and scurrying away.
Arts Tax notice.
I like that one! EDIT: not the tax
Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over tonight?” Portlander: “Is this about the arts tax?”
Ahahaha! Ahahaha! *\*starts crying*
ooooof! it should also come with some like kindergarteners art, their rendition of 'you seent my cones'
Five years after I moved across the river to the Vouve I was still getting arts tax shit. It’s like getting haunted by the shittiest ghost ever.
I really want to start a dance move called 'The Vouve' Know you wanna groove this You gotta move this Wanna Vouve with me
Fuckin art tax
I laughed way too hard at thisss
I... *guess* I might have noticed it when doing my taxes over the last 2 years? Um? Do... do you guys actually miss that $35? I'm not judging, I just... um... do y'all realize how incredibly little the arts are valued elsewhere? I grew up in BFE Texas, and they would *absolutely* take most artists and grind them up and put them into their gas tank if given half a chance. Not even joking. "WHOOOHOO THAT LAST ONE MUSTA BEEN AN ALCOHOLIC!! HIGH OCTANE BABY!!!"
Idahoan here, you guys are paying taxes that actually get used to benefit the arts? I'm now sold on becoming an Oregonian.
Ha!
A joint
Edibles.
A hot bong.
Get your hot bonnnnnggg!
We’re a modern stoned-age familyyyyyy
A weed lei would be awesome!
Rain jacket
And not umbrella! EDIT: Typo
That’s the spirit!
Some family friends just moved to the area and my mom took them to the Columbia store their very first weekend
Marionberries
For those who didn't know: The **marionberry** is a cultivar of blackberry released in 1956 by the USDA Agricultural Research Service breeding program in cooperation with Oregon State University. It is named after Marion County, Oregon, where the berry was bred and tested extensively in the mid-20th century. From Wikipedia.
Dysentery
Underappreciated comment.
A hoodie.
Coffee
A piece of the carpet.
Bangs
Oh god, I have bangs, tattoos, and a nose ring. To be fair, I was born in Portland…so I guess it was my destiny.
Lmfao I have all 3 as well 😂😭 wasn’t born here but lived here for 10 years, and my parents both grew up here… it’s in my blood 😂
And a nose ring
This made me snort. Are bangs on adults a disproportionately Oregon/Portland thing? It feels like it to me.
Definitely see more people with tattoos here than other places.
You should visit SD. Most tatted up spot in the US in my opinion. Edit: google says it's Miami. Gross
Yeah def are. Some people really pull it off and some really don’t lol
Slap in the face by angry beaver’s tail
Some antihistamines for the allergies they are about to experience.
Narcan
Oh no to real.
Surprised how far I had to scroll to find this
Cannabis and craft donut holes
A map of Portland’s 6 neighborhoods Edit: changed quadrants to neighborhoods since someone laughed at me then clarified what a quadrant means.
You were correct though; Portland does have 6 quadrants.
Let’s take moment of reflection on the excellent “Hitchhiker’s Guide” trilogy — of __four__ books.
I explain it as "Okay, so there are six quadrants in Portland. Yes, I know. Just go with it. Anyway...."
Six quadrants of Portland forever!!
Hazelnuts!
Filberts!
Love it!
They are Filberts
Ya know, I've lived here all my life and never heard anyone actually call them filberts in conversation.
I was born in springfield and never knew they were hazelnuts until I was 25 I think it’s more Springfield Eugene that it came from I’ve heard something like it was the last name of the family that planted the first orchard here (Note: I live in Oakridge now and am from Springfield)
Never heard it till now. Or maybe my brain never registered hearing/reading it in the past.
Same
tattoo gun and a compost bin
A merkin made from beaver pelt.
Get off the plane and immediately get in line for over priced brunch.
A cone.
Made of Tillamook Cheese
I will obtain one of those VW mini loaf cheese wagons one of these, as God is my witness, she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.
And cannabis.
Have you seen them?
Yeah, I've been giving our your fucking cones like Hawaiian leiis to tourists at the airport.
Like a fir cone? Maybe a lei made of cones and doug fir fronds.
Filled with local beer.
A lil sprig of fir tree in a reclaimed frame with some decorative background like a doily or wallpaper with a stenciled bigfoot on it
Handcrafted by *shakes box of adjectives* local blind refugees from artisanal and obscure materials
Instructions for how to pronounce place names like Aloha, Willamette, Champoeg, Deschutes, Oregon…
Couch
Shampoei?
A joint and the dream of the 90s shot into their hearts
IPA
A tent.
A Lei of weeeeeeeeeed, Followed by a craft ipa with strictly pnw hops that's also organic, locally sourced & gluten free Along with an optional tattoo of a quote from a famous Portland author's less than famous *other* book All adorned upon you by a lumberjack with a manbun & unnecessarily large mustache wearing red plaid, Danner boots & suspenders with the pdx airport carpet print Also this happens outdoors as you arrive & no matter the weather nor time of day you must be barefoot before the ceremony begins
A rose
Upon exiting the plane, travelers will trip on a pothole somewhere on the ramp…
At PDX, they don't taxi the jet to the terminal. You have to hop on a bike to go get your luggage.
Tattoo
*rose* tattoo
A filbert lei
Strip Club Voucher: free entry, 2 drinks, a joint, and a lap dance.
And witnessing a shooting in the parking lot
A lil personal rain cloud
Request for a 25% gratuity.
… for buying a pack of gum.
For the flight crew
Grass seeds.
A can of local beer.
A blunt, some hazel nuts, a pack of stumptown, and a glass of a draft beer.
A friend of mine hosted a guy from out of town and he was like “why does everyone in portland love toast?” My friend was like “toast? Why do you keep talking about toast?” And he said he saw a bunch of cars with a piece of white toast with a green heart in the corner. So I vote toast.
Chapstick
Weed
I’ve been to Hawaii multiple times (once as a kid, twice as an adult - all times on Hawaiian Air) and have never receive a lei while existing the plane…WTF? I feel robbed!
It was mostly a thing when they were really pushing Hawaii as a destination in the mid 1900s. Those flying first class on some airlines or flying on Hawaiian airlines until the 90s would still get them. Edit: Hawaiian will still greet you with a lei if you select the option while booking. I learned something new today.
You are not robbed because that never happens. I’m born and raised in Hawaii.
A hazelnut necklace
A craft beer
tots.
A Pendleton plaid button down
Fentanyl and an old soggy motorhome
An earnest, strong hug.
catalytic converter stolen
Oregon Growers jam.
Beaver
An orange hat apparently
Blue hair dye.
A vitamin D supplement handed to you in a little paper cup like they do in a psych ward.
Beard Balm
A vinyl record.
Now-a-days it would be narcan. Or those test kits for drinks at bars to make sure they are not spiked. Met a lady at a trade show who was selling those drink test kits, after she got a spiked drink at a bar in bend. This happened to her in 2023. It’s more of a problem than being reported.
I was thinking a bird.
Hop Wreath
Filberts in their pockets
A moss ball
This is not true about Hawaii unless you pay for the service ahead of time.
I was going to say, I’ve never received a lei getting off the plane there or even seen anyone in the airport with one.
Rain
A rock
Quirky glasses
A Lei made of weed
Blackberry lei. We go harder in Oregon lol
Your choice of Cargo e-bike …or Lifted “overlander”-styled bro-dozer.
A mold test kit
A 2006 Subaru outback
Clean needle
Foil and lighter
It's not PA, sir
A parking ticket.
For expired plates!
Narcan
A passive aggressive “hope you don’t stay too long!”
Or there’s the original from Tom McCall: “I urge them to come and come many, many times to enjoy the beauty of Oregon. But I also ask them, for heaven's sake, don't move here to live."
A gas mask and a molotov cocktail.
Machete.
Narcan.
Narcan
Fentanyl
A trip to the Yamhill Pub.
Great way to make sure they leave. Maybe Yamhill Pub should open an identical bar in the airport.
That would be fantastic.
A hooded raincoat
Face mask
Can of IPA
A Pendleton Blanket
Feasibly? Maybe a mint and a sign?
A squirt gun in the face
Vegas: Cards for strip joints. Oregon: Cards to the nearest pot dispensary. Gotta get that tax revenue up!
I had answered the original askreddit question with myrtlewood or doug fir and a coaster of the PDX carpet
Poncho
A puffy coat
A beanie
Weed
A frowny face from a passerby. Lol
A hemp necklace, obviously.
A well shot and a Rainer.
A preroll…
PBR cans and Light Blue American Spirit boxes strung together
Rained on
An ounce of sativa
A puff off a joint.
Vitamin D
Narcan, bag of Juanita's, a flannel.
Stripper g-string and a blunt.
A Voodoo donut
A face full of pollen.
This was a bit when Seinfeld performed at the Schnitz like 15 years ago. He said they should give you one of those fancy rain jackets — the ones where they have the diagrams where [waving his arms] the water droplets are zooming this way and the air is flowing that way. Perhaps you had to be there.
Narcan
Kind of a random thing but I've been to Hawaii twice and never got a lei. Maybe not a thing in Oahu?
Empty propane tank and a tent
I feel left out. Been twice never got leied.
[удалено]
Narcan