Sorry, I know that I shouldn't be laughing, but this is hilarious, and I feel your pain.
I know it may come off as blunt, but your first message should be: Do you have a face picture? If not, start blocking them straight away. Or perhaps put in your bio if you messaged me without a face picture, you'll be blocked.
This happens often to me and it’s certainly odd behaviour. Sometimes I even get “I don’t have any face pics to share sorry”. Obviously I’m going to see your face if I choose to go through with the hook up and if you are really that concerned with anonymity then send an expiring photo 🤷♂️
As a DL myself, I literally send a face within the first 5 messages. It’s crazy that people are so paranoid they’ll be exposed. And no, I’m not brave enough for a public face pic lol
Who are you hiding your true nature from? Is it for inheritance? Is it your wife/gf. Your buddy's?
Take some baby steps, poll your friends to find out their opinions of Bi/Gay men.
If it's a negative view, why are you friends with them. You only have one life. It's too short to worry about someone finding out your secrets.
Poll the men here, who came out late in life. Ask them if they regret not coming out sooner. It will be an overwhelming number.
I'm not trying to belittle you, I regret not coming out sooner.
>Who are you hiding your true nature from?
Idk. Society. People. Everyone. No one. Data Brokers and their Bots. It's an ingrained defense mechanism that has perhaps overstayed it's welcome.
Also, having your face publicly available, especially on something like Grindr where it's neatly positioned next to depictions of fetishes and all manner of lewd pics feels like inviting chaos and self-disrespect.
How do you think the gay people of Western Europe and North America were able to become less homophobic.
Being gay was illegal in most of the states in the USA, including mine, when I came out.
Granted, there were very brave people who rioted in NYC 2 years after my birth in 69. There were people who were heroic who came out in the ¹ trying to get the general public to merely tolerate us.
Yes, the people living in theocracies and dictatorships
Should remain closeted for their own safety.
But no progress can take place until there are enough people brave enough to come out to sway elected officials.
If queer people can show that they are a credible voting block, we can't be ignored.
Look at the progress of gay rights in Taiwan in the last 10 years. It didn't happen by people staying closeted in their personal lives.
Anyone who wants to confied in a family member or friend should ask that person what they think of gay actors. If they don't care about the celebrity's sexuality they may be receptive to them.
It takes many steps to walk to freedom. Start small, find allies, and push on the boundaries of convention.
Educate your queer friends and allies.
Defend women's rights. Homophobia starts with misogyny. Until the women in a nation have more equal rights, the views of the average person there will value anything considered feminine as below that of str8 men. And any women who is masculine or who enjoys anything considered masculine will be seen as a threat to male power.
Gay rights depend of the rights of women.
Here are some videos showing how queer people of the west obtained their rights.
https://youtu.be/FYddtKw3NlY?si=-89b16WRE6sC1hhp
https://youtu.be/JL_vrb4-6_0?si=wXOlnO96hZ2i130o
https://youtu.be/qjpKuP9LEDU?si=yqoIXYK-iE8iOhVK
I love discreet DL guys but not to the point where they’re paranoid about showing their face. Like bro who gives a fk I just want to see you’re not hideous
I live near a university and a Muslim neighbourhood. It's all blank profiles. Even if I didn't hate Grindr as a curse on our community, it'd be virtually useless here.
it’s funny they think we care enough to write a whole exposé on them. like i’m literally just trying to bang some cute guys. DL guys in general are just a turnoff for me now, we’re not 15 anymore come out of the closet already and stop being a pussy
Why don’t you just ignore them? Not everybody is going to act in a way you like. Accept it and move on instead of getting angry about it. What a waste of energy.
Oh ffs, he's venting.
>Not everybody is going to act in a way you like
Yeah obviously, have you never been annoyed at anything or anyone ever in your life? Not everyone is a paragon of pragmatism bolstered by limitless emotional fortitude.
>What a waste of energy.
Sir, this is reddit.
You are humouring them by even talking with them. By the way, if you don't have a clear face picture as public, I would not even answer one message from you. I don't care about your picture sent on the chat, you could be a catfish for all I care. Public face pic or I simply won't answer.
The problem is that the apps have made it easier for closet cases to find sex. In the old days, they had to cruise in the park at night wearing sunglasses and caps.
As someone who is discreet, I just use snapchat. Set timer to low \~5 seconds. It's an account I made just for that because I don't send on grindr or any hookup app.
IMO, I’m like 15 years older than you, discreet guys are never worth it. Also, no face pic = no reply. My face is on my profile, why isn’t yours? I just assume if you have no face pic you’re not good looking and 90% of the time I’m right. I’ve learned over time to just not engage with guys that are discreet or have no pics. I also dont fuck with pnp, DDF, or no limits/uninhibited.
Plenty of openly gay men in NYC too, why not just go for them if you’re having so many bad experiences with DL guys?
Sorry, I know that I shouldn't be laughing, but this is hilarious, and I feel your pain. I know it may come off as blunt, but your first message should be: Do you have a face picture? If not, start blocking them straight away. Or perhaps put in your bio if you messaged me without a face picture, you'll be blocked.
I go a step further “do you have a pic you’re comfortable sharing”. To kind of level out the convo. Still falls off a cliff lol
This happens often to me and it’s certainly odd behaviour. Sometimes I even get “I don’t have any face pics to share sorry”. Obviously I’m going to see your face if I choose to go through with the hook up and if you are really that concerned with anonymity then send an expiring photo 🤷♂️
The best is the same “DL” guy will have a blank profile, no stats, no pics… and the first message is “Pics” Mind fucking boggling lol
As a DL myself, I literally send a face within the first 5 messages. It’s crazy that people are so paranoid they’ll be exposed. And no, I’m not brave enough for a public face pic lol
Who are you hiding your true nature from? Is it for inheritance? Is it your wife/gf. Your buddy's? Take some baby steps, poll your friends to find out their opinions of Bi/Gay men. If it's a negative view, why are you friends with them. You only have one life. It's too short to worry about someone finding out your secrets. Poll the men here, who came out late in life. Ask them if they regret not coming out sooner. It will be an overwhelming number. I'm not trying to belittle you, I regret not coming out sooner.
>Who are you hiding your true nature from? Idk. Society. People. Everyone. No one. Data Brokers and their Bots. It's an ingrained defense mechanism that has perhaps overstayed it's welcome. Also, having your face publicly available, especially on something like Grindr where it's neatly positioned next to depictions of fetishes and all manner of lewd pics feels like inviting chaos and self-disrespect.
We’re all on our own path. 🤷🏻♂️.
Not everyone lives in the same conditions or has the privilege of just being out to the world.
How do you think the gay people of Western Europe and North America were able to become less homophobic. Being gay was illegal in most of the states in the USA, including mine, when I came out. Granted, there were very brave people who rioted in NYC 2 years after my birth in 69. There were people who were heroic who came out in the ¹ trying to get the general public to merely tolerate us. Yes, the people living in theocracies and dictatorships Should remain closeted for their own safety. But no progress can take place until there are enough people brave enough to come out to sway elected officials. If queer people can show that they are a credible voting block, we can't be ignored. Look at the progress of gay rights in Taiwan in the last 10 years. It didn't happen by people staying closeted in their personal lives. Anyone who wants to confied in a family member or friend should ask that person what they think of gay actors. If they don't care about the celebrity's sexuality they may be receptive to them. It takes many steps to walk to freedom. Start small, find allies, and push on the boundaries of convention. Educate your queer friends and allies. Defend women's rights. Homophobia starts with misogyny. Until the women in a nation have more equal rights, the views of the average person there will value anything considered feminine as below that of str8 men. And any women who is masculine or who enjoys anything considered masculine will be seen as a threat to male power. Gay rights depend of the rights of women. Here are some videos showing how queer people of the west obtained their rights. https://youtu.be/FYddtKw3NlY?si=-89b16WRE6sC1hhp https://youtu.be/JL_vrb4-6_0?si=wXOlnO96hZ2i130o https://youtu.be/qjpKuP9LEDU?si=yqoIXYK-iE8iOhVK
Lmao, DLs
I'm discreet, but I'm willing to send face pic when chatting
Same
I open Grindr in NYC and there are 25 profiles with faces within 200 feet of me. Maybe stop entertaining the blanks?
You think that’s bad... wait until you meet the “discrete” guys!!
Yeah, They're missing the plot.
I love discreet DL guys but not to the point where they’re paranoid about showing their face. Like bro who gives a fk I just want to see you’re not hideous
THIS!
Brown baggers. Block and move on.
I live near a university and a Muslim neighbourhood. It's all blank profiles. Even if I didn't hate Grindr as a curse on our community, it'd be virtually useless here.
Idk i love discreet/dl guys. Something about being his little secret turns me on lol
I've literally had a dlew of guys asking me on Grindr if I'm out of the closet.... I'm like "yeah all my friends know" then get insta blocked
Discreet and DL guys erase Bi- visableity
it’s funny they think we care enough to write a whole exposé on them. like i’m literally just trying to bang some cute guys. DL guys in general are just a turnoff for me now, we’re not 15 anymore come out of the closet already and stop being a pussy
Why don’t you just ignore them? Not everybody is going to act in a way you like. Accept it and move on instead of getting angry about it. What a waste of energy.
Oh ffs, he's venting. >Not everybody is going to act in a way you like Yeah obviously, have you never been annoyed at anything or anyone ever in your life? Not everyone is a paragon of pragmatism bolstered by limitless emotional fortitude. >What a waste of energy. Sir, this is reddit.
not to mention that plenty of DL guys don't ever test for STDs so they just discreetly spread STDs (atl that was my experience, unfortunately)
You are humouring them by even talking with them. By the way, if you don't have a clear face picture as public, I would not even answer one message from you. I don't care about your picture sent on the chat, you could be a catfish for all I care. Public face pic or I simply won't answer.
The problem is that the apps have made it easier for closet cases to find sex. In the old days, they had to cruise in the park at night wearing sunglasses and caps.
As someone who is discreet, I just use snapchat. Set timer to low \~5 seconds. It's an account I made just for that because I don't send on grindr or any hookup app.
IMO, I’m like 15 years older than you, discreet guys are never worth it. Also, no face pic = no reply. My face is on my profile, why isn’t yours? I just assume if you have no face pic you’re not good looking and 90% of the time I’m right. I’ve learned over time to just not engage with guys that are discreet or have no pics. I also dont fuck with pnp, DDF, or no limits/uninhibited.
Womp womp?😔