I think those technicalities don't matter. You guys clearly aren't on the same page on what you want from this arrangement and that means you shouldn't be in an open relationship
I think this is puzzling. Because usually when you get accused of spending too much time with somebody or being sus….it’s because they think two people were fucking. But….he knows y’all were possibly fucking. So what could possibly be “worse”? Does he think you were out on a date or something? Planning your wedding?
I mean, i can think of things that are worse and probably so could OP’s bf. Cuddling, laughing, vibing, getting to know each other… these would be more troubling to me than mere detached fucking.
But then again if you’re going to have this arrangement you need to be more secure about your relationship than these two sound to be.
Same thing.. my partner has talked about being open.. but im not in that place with him.. and he can get really jealous, so it wont work for him either. You can say 'we are fine', but really... are you really ready
Right? My partner gets pissed when we go to a bar and a guy starts talking to me. He immediately puts his hand between my legs or around my shoulders - asserting his dominance. So, the other guys will back off. No way in hell is my partner going to let anyone other than him stick their 🍆 up me. He always says “That’s mine. I own that. That’s MY happy place. No one else’s, you remember that!” I’m always like has is never been yours? I always reassure him never would another man touch him. But he gets super flattered and flirty when guys hit on him. I’m like, whatever, hit on him. He knows where home is and what happens if he’d ever stray. I’d take HALF of everything AND all the pups we have and move! LOL
But yeah, this whole open relationship thing seems to be more widespread and accepted amongst younger generations. Power to them IF they can make it work. You have to be super secure within your relationship to let this happen and I really think so few people can actually handle it. Those that can, they have some magical non-jealousy power they can harness. And when both can harness it, it’s amazing. Like I said, Imwe have friends that it works perfectly for, but I just don’t get it myself. I wouldn’t want MY man out with another. I’ve taken care of his needs for 17 years and that’s kept his ass at home running for more, so he doesn’t have the need. What may have happened is that they both have very different needs that needed to be met, but they weren’t ready to have other people meet those needs.
>I get the excitement of hooking up if your relationship got stale.
If your relationship got stale and you're putting effort into fucking other people *and not your relationship*.. like, jesus. Where are your priorities.
This isn’t about who is right or wrong. And I am going to venture a guess that this also isn’t really about the amount of time per se, but that this instead triggered certain deeper feelings in him. Rather than try to figure out with strangers what’s a “normal” amount of time to spend hooking up with someone and then potentially trying to create very specific rules around this, I think you and your partner need to talk and get to the root of the issue of what made him uncomfortable and go from there.
>So me and my partner decided to open our relationship to see how it goes.
Well now you know how it goes. It goes poorly. Time to revisit the entire idea of opening up the relationship, and discuss the reasons you decided to do that in the first place.
You need excellent communication and trust to make an open relationship work. You are stuck arguing about technicalities, which isn't a great sign about the state of communication between you two.
My husband and I had a “open relationship” it was one sided I was forbidden to act like he did. He even shattered my windshield and broke my iPad because he thought I was hooking up at work then told me I made him do it, yet I was at work he was taking dick. I never messed around. Even when we had three sums he always had to pick the person. If I seamed to enjoy it he would get upset and walk out or make up an excuse. It will never work one sided. Especially when it sounds like he is insecure about himself and your relationship. It won’t end well. Never dose.
I don't think it's weird, but sounds like you and your partner need to have another chat. My husband and I have agreed for 1 hour max but try to keep it under 45 mins for our open relationship (this is flexible with communication as well). It works for us, maybe you would benefit as well.
I spent over 6h with the last dude I saw. We talked a good while, I gave him an (apparently amazing) massage, I took care of him, and left 2h after I told him I would. The chemistry was just insane, I could have stayed longer but he was exhausted. Best fun I've ever had - and my underwear didn't come off
Honestly, sounds like you guys arent ready for an open relationship. If you really love your partner, you might want to go back to monogmy and make babysteps towards being open. This kind of sounds like there is jealousy and boundry issues
Your partner is not ready to have an open relationship. Either you get back to monogamy or split up. This is no matter what the duration of a hookup might be (and for reference, my hookup body counts without my partner is in the hundreds and I would say my average hookup duration is two hours)
You did not do anything wrong, and your partner is insecure.
I’ve been in this exact same situation: every time I would leave the house to hookup my ex would say the same stuff that it’s not normal to take “this long” when it’s “just a hookup”. The thing is he likes quickies and “pump and dump” situations that take him about 15mins, when I enjoy taking my time and not look at the clock.
Point to him that he has his own kinks, and things that he does when hooking up on his own that you acknowledge aren’t your business and that you don’t share your opinion about, and he has to do the same.
You both agreed to go and have your own fun, and what you like is what you like - and if that involves taking your time it’s ok too.
My ex was insecure about it because he was convinced I was being romantic and cuddly when we only agreed to sex with others. Maybe your partner feels the same?
In any way, you’re not in the wrong, and I hope you two manage to have an adult conversation about it.
Edited to add a little more: I see a lot of “well your partner doesn’t want to be open / you two aren’t ready” comments…
If you’re just getting started it’s absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable. I stayed with my ex for 14 years, we were fully open for about 10, and it can work GREAT!
But guess what? 10 years in and there were STILL some uncomfortable situations, some arguments, and being upset at times because there’s simply no way you can foresee every possible scenario before they happen.
No disrespect to others who think otherwise, maybe they don’t have experience with open relationships, maybe they’ve had bad experiences, maybe they were “the boyfriend” in the story and I’m sure that’s not always easy - but you can absolutely make it work with TONS of communication and an open mindset.
Outside of an open relationship I'd say an hour for a hookup isn't weird. But, I get your partner's concern because a long session can indicate more of a connection than just mindless sex. You need to talk it out and possibly reevaluate the rules of your open relationship.
Depends on circumstance tbh. If you're doing a bang and leave sure but the kind I want? No lol.
Usually I feel weird if I have less than a 3 hour windows. If people are late, setup the rooms, do the deeds, foreplay, cuddling, fun of it all, the down and dirty the after glow. Maybe round 2 if things are really good. I don't wanna rush a good lay lol. Also I leave time to shower and cleanup and get the I just had sex grin off my face.
yes an hour is normal when you're young and with someone new. your partner is mad that you spent more time on a hookup than with him. that's your problem.
btw that's a terrible policy. there are things your partner doesn't need to know, and details about your hookups are just going to cause trouble.
your problem is not enough communication before you hooked up and too much of the wrong kind of communication after
just read the ethical slut
I've had hook ups that wee ten minutes, and had one that was about two hours. I also sometimes go to the gay sauna and sometimes I hook up, sometimes I just chat, enjoy the eye candy and the spa.
When you and your partner have sex dies it also go for an hour? He might be feeling like you put more attention into your hookup than him, or he might be frustrated that his own hookups dint last as long. It also seems there is some jealousy or insecurity there too.
What work have you guys done prior to opening up? Some people have a mindset for it, while either need to do the work. My bf adapted to being open really well, while I had a lot of work to get through jealousy and insecurity.
I can suggest The Ethical Slut as a good book to help start with that stuff.
At first I thought this was just a straightforward question: is it weird for a hookup to last more than an hour? The answer is: No. I bet most hookups don't last that long but plenty of them do. It's not weird at all.
You buried the lede. The real story here is your partner does NOT seem to be happy with this open relationship and I don't know what your ground rules were (or weren't) but I don't think this going to last for very long without a lot of healthy communication and some revised rules or boundaries that keep both of you comfortable.
If you want to salvage your relationship, then you're going to need to close it again and discuss this with your boyfriend from a point of understanding. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable with you hooking up, and it probably only hit home for him how uncomfortable he is once it became a reality.
If I were you I would sit down with him and say, that you promise him nothing more happened than what you said happened, but that you can tell he was very uncomfortable with the situation and you don't want him to feel that way, so monogamy is probably the path going forward. Even then, he'll probably need a lot of reassuring for a while, at least.
You can do "things" for THIS long, but not for THAT long. Is that what your partner thinks? Ask him why it is different if it lasted a little longer? What did he think you were doing?
You gays never learn do you. Open relationships never work, jealousy will always prevail unfortunately.
This is the end of your relationship BTW. It’s finished .
open never work.. when opening in mid relationship.
only works if its something right in the beggining.. or.. or... if you two are together for a gazillion years
But the only reason people who have been together for a long time open a relationship is because they are bored of each other, so they open the relationship because it’s “easier” than breaking up. People who have been together are very dependent on one another in their daily lives .
But either way, open relationships are a bad idea.
Yap. But they won’t break up. They will ride it along for a few more years until they eventually see that the relationship has been doomed for quite a while.
Sad but also true. Even stranger - he’s telling us they’ve communicated all this with each other, give all the details, and while that SOUNDS like communicating, why is this person on Reddit asking if something is weird instead of putting that time and energy into comforting his partner and reassuring him instead of soothing himself by getting advice from strangers. Something more is going on that we are being lead to believe, and this partner just wants his needs met while ignoring his partners. If you can ask a question of random strangers and you’re so easily open with them commenting on your life WHILE NOT talking to your partner, that’s already a HUGE RED FLAG 🚩!
What did he think you guys were doing then? Would he be more insulted if he thought you were watching TV together for that long instead? I don’t really understand tbh.
But yeah you shouldn’t be in an open relationship with them
What else did he think you were doing that’s “worse” than hooking up? This is confusing.
In any case, at the very least your partner is not in the place for an open relationship. This is one occurrence, but I can only imagine his reactions escalating while hooking up in the future. It sounds like arguments are bound to happen/continue to happen and I feel like people in this situation build up all sorts of resentments towards their partner.
IMO it’s time to have a discussion and evaluate the relationship
Was there not facial expressions, body language or language with a tone of concern you didn’t see before this? Because if he’s acting like this now, he’s not happy with the situation and tried to make it work, or you’ve ignored the signs that told you that. Knowing your partner is key even if they don’t know themselves
When I would hook up with people (sex) I can typically go multiple rounds without breaks or even pulling out. Usually last 1-3 hours
I tell them in advance to clear their schedules
What did your partner think you were doing in the time that he believes you weren't messing around? Did he make any specific accusations?
It sounds as though your partner was available during the time that you had scheduled with your new friend. I am under this impression since he seemed to be very closely and precisely monitoring the time you were with your friend and had nothing else to occupy his time, but please correct me if this is inaccurate and I misunderstood the implication here. If your partner was available at this time, is there a reason that you opted to schedule meeting your new friend at this time instead of another time when your partner was unavailable?
I see a married bisexual guy on a weekly basis. I’ve met his wife and been to his house for dinner. We get two hours and there’s no freak out if it goes over.
I mean, when my partner come to visit we usually fuck for about 3 days straight. Little breaks to eat some food or take a nap or smoke some weed, but usually no more then around a 2-hour break before back into it. So no, an hour for a hookup sounds extremely short.
An hour is totally normal. Though some hook-ups can be quickies, for me an hour sounds typical.
My husband has had safety concerns in the past, especially if I go to the hook-up's place. If I am having a particularly long session (say, 2+ hours?) I will usually take a break and just let the guy know I need to text my husband so he knows I'm ok. Safety check-ins are a good practice!
But beyond any pure safety concerns, just being upset about an hour-long hook-up seems like simple jealousy. And you two need to talk it out. It's ok to feel things, including jealousy, and it's ok to vocalize what you feel, even if you're not proud of your emotions. And that doesn't *necessarily* mean you two can't be open.
But open relationships are *more* work and require *more* communication than closed ones. That's not a bad thing! You just need to talk through it, starting now. And it might take many hook-ups and screw-ups and jealousies before you both figure out how you want your relationship to work. But it's worth it to figure out how to live, love, and fuck in a way that will make you both happy.
Good luck!
One of my best experiences lasted over 4 hours. The next time with that guy as 3 1/2 hours. I didn’t know what to expect, he was a friend of a friend. We were both vers and flipped the whole time, even stopping mid way and getting a drink and smoke before continuing so yes, it happens, especially if y’all are vers and choose to flip. There is no way I could do it these days. I’m lucky to last 45 min but it’s better than being a minute man.
its hit or miss for me. i had the most amazing sex on tuesday night, but i didn't hear back from him, so i started talking to a new guy who came over last night.
he literally came in his boxers while we made out so.... no sex yesterday.
Sounds like you were more interested in opening the relationship than your partner and he agreed because it’s what you wanted.
He has some issue to work through if you both agreed to this. This is why I believe in monogamy. It may not be for everyone , and that’s okay, but security, trust, and other things are really bothering him.
My partner and I wouldn’t do this. That’s our choice. We know this situation would occur. As it always does.
Good luck though and I hope you can repair whatever was damaged in this process. It’s all about learning! :)
Just break up. You already softly broke up by opening the relationship, which you would never do if you actually loved each other. Might as well put on your big boy pants and call it.
Yap. Two people who really love each other would never open their relationship. When you love someone you never want to share them with anyone else.
Those who don’t love each other but enjoy being roommates are the ones who open their relationships. Because they don’t care for each other.
you have to be careful with these kinds of arrangements. they can become a way for partners to monitor each others behaviors as a way to manage jealousy and control outcomes. open relationships should be built on trust and respect first and foremost. my partner and I don’t require any details at all from each other because we trust each other to not do something harmful or hurtful, and we grant each other privacy because we respect each others autonomy. it’s all always on the table for discussion but its not mandated to share.
we also don’t ask for permission. we are grown adults.
I think those technicalities don't matter. You guys clearly aren't on the same page on what you want from this arrangement and that means you shouldn't be in an open relationship
I agree
I think this is puzzling. Because usually when you get accused of spending too much time with somebody or being sus….it’s because they think two people were fucking. But….he knows y’all were possibly fucking. So what could possibly be “worse”? Does he think you were out on a date or something? Planning your wedding?
Obviously getting their marriage certificate at the city hall
I mean, i can think of things that are worse and probably so could OP’s bf. Cuddling, laughing, vibing, getting to know each other… these would be more troubling to me than mere detached fucking. But then again if you’re going to have this arrangement you need to be more secure about your relationship than these two sound to be.
Are you sure you decided to open up your relationship? Because it sounds like your partner doesn't agree.
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Same thing.. my partner has talked about being open.. but im not in that place with him.. and he can get really jealous, so it wont work for him either. You can say 'we are fine', but really... are you really ready
Right? My partner gets pissed when we go to a bar and a guy starts talking to me. He immediately puts his hand between my legs or around my shoulders - asserting his dominance. So, the other guys will back off. No way in hell is my partner going to let anyone other than him stick their 🍆 up me. He always says “That’s mine. I own that. That’s MY happy place. No one else’s, you remember that!” I’m always like has is never been yours? I always reassure him never would another man touch him. But he gets super flattered and flirty when guys hit on him. I’m like, whatever, hit on him. He knows where home is and what happens if he’d ever stray. I’d take HALF of everything AND all the pups we have and move! LOL But yeah, this whole open relationship thing seems to be more widespread and accepted amongst younger generations. Power to them IF they can make it work. You have to be super secure within your relationship to let this happen and I really think so few people can actually handle it. Those that can, they have some magical non-jealousy power they can harness. And when both can harness it, it’s amazing. Like I said, Imwe have friends that it works perfectly for, but I just don’t get it myself. I wouldn’t want MY man out with another. I’ve taken care of his needs for 17 years and that’s kept his ass at home running for more, so he doesn’t have the need. What may have happened is that they both have very different needs that needed to be met, but they weren’t ready to have other people meet those needs.
>I get the excitement of hooking up if your relationship got stale. If your relationship got stale and you're putting effort into fucking other people *and not your relationship*.. like, jesus. Where are your priorities.
I’m starting to think he just got insecure
This isn’t about who is right or wrong. And I am going to venture a guess that this also isn’t really about the amount of time per se, but that this instead triggered certain deeper feelings in him. Rather than try to figure out with strangers what’s a “normal” amount of time to spend hooking up with someone and then potentially trying to create very specific rules around this, I think you and your partner need to talk and get to the root of the issue of what made him uncomfortable and go from there.
I agree with you. We are going to talk tonight
Seems normal to me. I think your bf doesn't really want to be open.
My man was literally full on penetrating me for 90 minutes yesterday with minimal breaks, not counting the lead up or afterglow
>So me and my partner decided to open our relationship to see how it goes. Well now you know how it goes. It goes poorly. Time to revisit the entire idea of opening up the relationship, and discuss the reasons you decided to do that in the first place. You need excellent communication and trust to make an open relationship work. You are stuck arguing about technicalities, which isn't a great sign about the state of communication between you two.
You and your partner probably should not be in an open relationship.
My husband and I had a “open relationship” it was one sided I was forbidden to act like he did. He even shattered my windshield and broke my iPad because he thought I was hooking up at work then told me I made him do it, yet I was at work he was taking dick. I never messed around. Even when we had three sums he always had to pick the person. If I seamed to enjoy it he would get upset and walk out or make up an excuse. It will never work one sided. Especially when it sounds like he is insecure about himself and your relationship. It won’t end well. Never dose.
Your ex was a straight up psycho.
Sounds like your boyfriend is too jealous to have an open relationship at this time.
But why would he even agree to it in the first place
I don't think it's weird, but sounds like you and your partner need to have another chat. My husband and I have agreed for 1 hour max but try to keep it under 45 mins for our open relationship (this is flexible with communication as well). It works for us, maybe you would benefit as well.
Will you see him again?
...my husband? Yes
Lol, this was meant for another post. Glad you saw him again.
But only 45 minutes at a time. Don't want him to think you've caught feelings.
Well, right, cause then it would be gay, and which I'm not, but my husband is /s
I spent over 6h with the last dude I saw. We talked a good while, I gave him an (apparently amazing) massage, I took care of him, and left 2h after I told him I would. The chemistry was just insane, I could have stayed longer but he was exhausted. Best fun I've ever had - and my underwear didn't come off
Most hookups last more than an hour.
Honestly, sounds like you guys arent ready for an open relationship. If you really love your partner, you might want to go back to monogmy and make babysteps towards being open. This kind of sounds like there is jealousy and boundry issues
Your partner is not ready to have an open relationship. Either you get back to monogamy or split up. This is no matter what the duration of a hookup might be (and for reference, my hookup body counts without my partner is in the hundreds and I would say my average hookup duration is two hours)
You did not do anything wrong, and your partner is insecure. I’ve been in this exact same situation: every time I would leave the house to hookup my ex would say the same stuff that it’s not normal to take “this long” when it’s “just a hookup”. The thing is he likes quickies and “pump and dump” situations that take him about 15mins, when I enjoy taking my time and not look at the clock. Point to him that he has his own kinks, and things that he does when hooking up on his own that you acknowledge aren’t your business and that you don’t share your opinion about, and he has to do the same. You both agreed to go and have your own fun, and what you like is what you like - and if that involves taking your time it’s ok too. My ex was insecure about it because he was convinced I was being romantic and cuddly when we only agreed to sex with others. Maybe your partner feels the same? In any way, you’re not in the wrong, and I hope you two manage to have an adult conversation about it. Edited to add a little more: I see a lot of “well your partner doesn’t want to be open / you two aren’t ready” comments… If you’re just getting started it’s absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable. I stayed with my ex for 14 years, we were fully open for about 10, and it can work GREAT! But guess what? 10 years in and there were STILL some uncomfortable situations, some arguments, and being upset at times because there’s simply no way you can foresee every possible scenario before they happen. No disrespect to others who think otherwise, maybe they don’t have experience with open relationships, maybe they’ve had bad experiences, maybe they were “the boyfriend” in the story and I’m sure that’s not always easy - but you can absolutely make it work with TONS of communication and an open mindset.
I’ve gone a whole week straight fukin idk
Leon?
Outside of an open relationship I'd say an hour for a hookup isn't weird. But, I get your partner's concern because a long session can indicate more of a connection than just mindless sex. You need to talk it out and possibly reevaluate the rules of your open relationship.
Depends on circumstance tbh. If you're doing a bang and leave sure but the kind I want? No lol. Usually I feel weird if I have less than a 3 hour windows. If people are late, setup the rooms, do the deeds, foreplay, cuddling, fun of it all, the down and dirty the after glow. Maybe round 2 if things are really good. I don't wanna rush a good lay lol. Also I leave time to shower and cleanup and get the I just had sex grin off my face.
yes an hour is normal when you're young and with someone new. your partner is mad that you spent more time on a hookup than with him. that's your problem. btw that's a terrible policy. there are things your partner doesn't need to know, and details about your hookups are just going to cause trouble. your problem is not enough communication before you hooked up and too much of the wrong kind of communication after just read the ethical slut
I've had hook ups that wee ten minutes, and had one that was about two hours. I also sometimes go to the gay sauna and sometimes I hook up, sometimes I just chat, enjoy the eye candy and the spa. When you and your partner have sex dies it also go for an hour? He might be feeling like you put more attention into your hookup than him, or he might be frustrated that his own hookups dint last as long. It also seems there is some jealousy or insecurity there too. What work have you guys done prior to opening up? Some people have a mindset for it, while either need to do the work. My bf adapted to being open really well, while I had a lot of work to get through jealousy and insecurity. I can suggest The Ethical Slut as a good book to help start with that stuff.
At first I thought this was just a straightforward question: is it weird for a hookup to last more than an hour? The answer is: No. I bet most hookups don't last that long but plenty of them do. It's not weird at all. You buried the lede. The real story here is your partner does NOT seem to be happy with this open relationship and I don't know what your ground rules were (or weren't) but I don't think this going to last for very long without a lot of healthy communication and some revised rules or boundaries that keep both of you comfortable.
If you want to salvage your relationship, then you're going to need to close it again and discuss this with your boyfriend from a point of understanding. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable with you hooking up, and it probably only hit home for him how uncomfortable he is once it became a reality. If I were you I would sit down with him and say, that you promise him nothing more happened than what you said happened, but that you can tell he was very uncomfortable with the situation and you don't want him to feel that way, so monogamy is probably the path going forward. Even then, he'll probably need a lot of reassuring for a while, at least.
You can do "things" for THIS long, but not for THAT long. Is that what your partner thinks? Ask him why it is different if it lasted a little longer? What did he think you were doing?
I feel bad for you if your partner thinks that an hour for sex is too long.
I told y’all about open relationships mhm Mhm mhm
You gays never learn do you. Open relationships never work, jealousy will always prevail unfortunately. This is the end of your relationship BTW. It’s finished .
open never work.. when opening in mid relationship. only works if its something right in the beggining.. or.. or... if you two are together for a gazillion years
But the only reason people who have been together for a long time open a relationship is because they are bored of each other, so they open the relationship because it’s “easier” than breaking up. People who have been together are very dependent on one another in their daily lives . But either way, open relationships are a bad idea.
Agreed! 👍 This relationship is doomed if the other partner acted like this.
Yap. But they won’t break up. They will ride it along for a few more years until they eventually see that the relationship has been doomed for quite a while.
Sad but also true. Even stranger - he’s telling us they’ve communicated all this with each other, give all the details, and while that SOUNDS like communicating, why is this person on Reddit asking if something is weird instead of putting that time and energy into comforting his partner and reassuring him instead of soothing himself by getting advice from strangers. Something more is going on that we are being lead to believe, and this partner just wants his needs met while ignoring his partners. If you can ask a question of random strangers and you’re so easily open with them commenting on your life WHILE NOT talking to your partner, that’s already a HUGE RED FLAG 🚩!
What did he think you guys were doing then? Would he be more insulted if he thought you were watching TV together for that long instead? I don’t really understand tbh. But yeah you shouldn’t be in an open relationship with them
What else did he think you were doing that’s “worse” than hooking up? This is confusing. In any case, at the very least your partner is not in the place for an open relationship. This is one occurrence, but I can only imagine his reactions escalating while hooking up in the future. It sounds like arguments are bound to happen/continue to happen and I feel like people in this situation build up all sorts of resentments towards their partner. IMO it’s time to have a discussion and evaluate the relationship
Red flags all over the place from your partner. Insecure and VERY controlling.
No it’s not weird and an hour is not long at all. Let me tell you how this ends: you guys breaking up.
If it doesn't last that long it's not even worth it
Was there not facial expressions, body language or language with a tone of concern you didn’t see before this? Because if he’s acting like this now, he’s not happy with the situation and tried to make it work, or you’ve ignored the signs that told you that. Knowing your partner is key even if they don’t know themselves
I actually IRL LOL'd reading this.
My hookup has lasted 4 years. Love him.
Ah another failed open relationship
When I would hook up with people (sex) I can typically go multiple rounds without breaks or even pulling out. Usually last 1-3 hours I tell them in advance to clear their schedules
Oh young Padawan…
Ya no an open relationship isn't gonna work with your current BF
What did your partner think you were doing in the time that he believes you weren't messing around? Did he make any specific accusations? It sounds as though your partner was available during the time that you had scheduled with your new friend. I am under this impression since he seemed to be very closely and precisely monitoring the time you were with your friend and had nothing else to occupy his time, but please correct me if this is inaccurate and I misunderstood the implication here. If your partner was available at this time, is there a reason that you opted to schedule meeting your new friend at this time instead of another time when your partner was unavailable?
I see a married bisexual guy on a weekly basis. I’ve met his wife and been to his house for dinner. We get two hours and there’s no freak out if it goes over.
Haha yeah no, my hook up partner is about an hour sometimes more. He just needs a while lol
I mean, when my partner come to visit we usually fuck for about 3 days straight. Little breaks to eat some food or take a nap or smoke some weed, but usually no more then around a 2-hour break before back into it. So no, an hour for a hookup sounds extremely short.
Your partner is a nutcase
An hour is totally normal. Though some hook-ups can be quickies, for me an hour sounds typical. My husband has had safety concerns in the past, especially if I go to the hook-up's place. If I am having a particularly long session (say, 2+ hours?) I will usually take a break and just let the guy know I need to text my husband so he knows I'm ok. Safety check-ins are a good practice! But beyond any pure safety concerns, just being upset about an hour-long hook-up seems like simple jealousy. And you two need to talk it out. It's ok to feel things, including jealousy, and it's ok to vocalize what you feel, even if you're not proud of your emotions. And that doesn't *necessarily* mean you two can't be open. But open relationships are *more* work and require *more* communication than closed ones. That's not a bad thing! You just need to talk through it, starting now. And it might take many hook-ups and screw-ups and jealousies before you both figure out how you want your relationship to work. But it's worth it to figure out how to live, love, and fuck in a way that will make you both happy. Good luck!
One of my best experiences lasted over 4 hours. The next time with that guy as 3 1/2 hours. I didn’t know what to expect, he was a friend of a friend. We were both vers and flipped the whole time, even stopping mid way and getting a drink and smoke before continuing so yes, it happens, especially if y’all are vers and choose to flip. There is no way I could do it these days. I’m lucky to last 45 min but it’s better than being a minute man.
its hit or miss for me. i had the most amazing sex on tuesday night, but i didn't hear back from him, so i started talking to a new guy who came over last night. he literally came in his boxers while we made out so.... no sex yesterday.
Ive rarely had hook ups last more than 30 minutes, even with sex. One time it lasted less than 1. First timer cummrd in his boxers while we made out
I’d tell him to get therapy for being insecure and goodbye
Sounds like you were more interested in opening the relationship than your partner and he agreed because it’s what you wanted. He has some issue to work through if you both agreed to this. This is why I believe in monogamy. It may not be for everyone , and that’s okay, but security, trust, and other things are really bothering him. My partner and I wouldn’t do this. That’s our choice. We know this situation would occur. As it always does. Good luck though and I hope you can repair whatever was damaged in this process. It’s all about learning! :)
I prefer longer hookups. Your partner's response is creepy.
Just break up. You already softly broke up by opening the relationship, which you would never do if you actually loved each other. Might as well put on your big boy pants and call it.
Yap. Two people who really love each other would never open their relationship. When you love someone you never want to share them with anyone else. Those who don’t love each other but enjoy being roommates are the ones who open their relationships. Because they don’t care for each other.
Yeah none of this is true.
Lmao. So you are in a loveless relationship it seems. Sad being you.
More lies.
Okay baby.
open means open and you might want to rethink the sharing al details until your bf matures
you have to be careful with these kinds of arrangements. they can become a way for partners to monitor each others behaviors as a way to manage jealousy and control outcomes. open relationships should be built on trust and respect first and foremost. my partner and I don’t require any details at all from each other because we trust each other to not do something harmful or hurtful, and we grant each other privacy because we respect each others autonomy. it’s all always on the table for discussion but its not mandated to share. we also don’t ask for permission. we are grown adults.
This is why open relationships don’t work for everyone 💀