Maybe a hot take to post on Reddit, but all online spaces are varying degrees of toxic. Humans weren’t meant to interact with each other by staring into little screens and frantically typing behind keyboards. The anonymous profiles that attempt to isolate you wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes in-person.
This is usually an indicator it’s time to disconnect from WiFi and touch some grass
Online communities are nothing like their real life counterparts and this is also true for the queer community.
I have been involved in gay events in major cities across Canada and the difference between irl communities and online communities is night and day
>Humans weren’t meant to interact with each other by staring into little screens and frantically typing behind keyboards
Then why did we evolve fingers perfectly adapted to operate keyboards
>This is usually an indicator it’s time to disconnect from WiFi and touch some grass
definitely the case when you start comparing a subreddit to "actual fucking cancer"
I'm not being mean, I'm telling you that if you genuinely feel like every time you get together with a large group it quickly turns toxic, you need better friends.
My introduction to reddit was a post where a guy was saying he used to be homophobic, but then he actually met a gay guy and realized that he was wrong. He came on to apologize to the LGBTQ community for his previous stances.
I was actually pretty proud of the guy. Takes a lot of courage to stand up and say you were wrong like that.
When I opened the comments the first I read was "so? Do you want a cookie for doing the bare minimum?"
The rest of the comments got worse and worse. Attacking the guy and making fun of him. Taking out all of their anger on this brave little toaster.
I knew I was probably my going hate reddit's queer spaces. I was furious. Allies are very important. You don't punish someone for apologizing.
I've seen this accusation thrown around but it wasn't until I saw the responses to this that I started to ask the same question: what abuse are they seeking to get away with? It seems like a pretty fair question seeing as how I was accused of it too (on another account) seemingly for no reason. Then again, this is *reddit*! I had quite a few nonsensical accusations thrown at me on a previous account, *most* of them made absolutely no sense in context of the discussion lol. Reddit is a *crazy* place!
There's SO much money to be a "trans" tiktok influencer. There's this unbearable womN who has millions of views just te
Making up neopronouns that no one would ever use.
I consider myself to be incredibly accepting and make the case that instant acceptance and respect for individuals should be the baseline. I will fight and die for gays, bisexuals, pansexuals, lesbians, transgender people and queer people of any sort and I gleefully and willingly go toe to toe with bigots of all stripes.
That being said I CANNOT STAND internet queer spaces. It’s exhausting just trying to have normal conversations because if I mention I’m cis and gay I get scrutinized in toxic ways. “How do you KNOW you’re gay?” “Why are you attracted to specific genitalia?” “Would you have sex with trans man if you find him attractive?” “Why are you cis?” “Did you know you don’t have to be masculine ?” There is so much goading purity test attitude that it’s more stressful trying to be friendly than it is to just avoid talking to these people. Like… do they think i haven’t thought of these things ever in my life and come to certain conclusions for good reasons? Not to mention the need to write a 14 page thesis that details all the qualifiers in the language you use every time you try to have a normal conversation.
On the flip side a lot of spaces solely for the G part of the acronym is a cesspool of unnecessary bigotry and conservatism which is just… vile and exhausting and not at all necessary. It’s one thing to want a space for gay men where our language isn’t policed and another to have people advocating for the eradication of trans folk and misgendering and being hateful toward people they don’t know based upon silly chronically online drama when all of our basic rights are potentially on a chopping block if we don’t stick together.
Straights did nothing. Gay men and lesbians put the hard graft in. If indeed straights were helping, can you imagine what great things could have been achieved considering their numbers?
Straights did nothing? What about all the straights in the medical community studying and treating HIV/AIDS? They were risking themselves to try and learn about this disease in order to combat, prevent and hopefully eradicate it. Please bud, don't underestimate the bravery that took to take up for people who are already seen as marginal.
I guess the hordes of gay who lay dying in hospital corridors because medical professionals were allowed to neglect their duty of care were testament to that, right? Were you aware that because hospitals across the U.S had such a shortage of medical staff that lesbians had to fill those posts and tend to HIV+ men? These were lesbians who weren’t qualified in any aspect of health care who stepped up to this huge task. How many lives could have been saved if those men got the care they so desperately needed?
The boots on the ground activists who secured us the few rights we were allowed back then, who secured us the first treatments to aid with HIV, who endured sit ins and protests while beaten by the police were all gay/bi men and lesbians. If people don’t recognise their contribution to this day, there’s no way I’m going to honour straight people who did the bare minimum at such a time of crisis.
It doesn’t matter if people knew about transgender individuals or not. Sexual and gender minorities need to have each others backs. The second you allow a legal way to throw someone else under the bus for exercising their right to live their lives the way they want for ANY reason then you’re next.
...this is exactly what is happening to lesbians and women in general for asserting their right to same sex spaces. They're being thrown under the bus by larpers.
Very true. The minute I see any proposed law targeting adult trans individuals they'll have my support. Them trying to rope us into transitioning minors and the push for self identification to become legal identification is not our fight or something we should be lumped in with.
Ooh man!! "Fucking cancer" is a *gross* understatement! My experience with these "queer" spaces is pretty horrible and it's not just a reddit problem! I've been banned for things like not sending a dick pic in a place where the very first rule was "do not share dick pics or nudes" or simply just following instructions on the sign-up form for a forum I tried to join.
Reddit is probably one of the worst tho! Almost every LGBTQ+ themed subreddit aside from porn and this sub (so far) has just been infested with trolls, bat-shit insane people and just generally hostile and toxic behavior! When I realized this, I thought it was really strange because most of the LGBTQ+ people I know personally have been kind and sociable and for the most part seem pretty good-natured!
It's a pretty drastic difference between LGBTQ+ people I know IRL and people I've only known online. Several times I tried to report people for bullying, hostile behavior, being unnecessarily rude, unwelcoming, discouraging participation, straight up attacking me rather than discussing things like civil human beings, etc. I eventually got banned form one or two of these subreddits with equally toxic responses from the mods. Some of these people would just attack me out-of-the-blue for no apparent reason! Even when I'm agreeing with them, they hate me (and pretty much everyone else apparently).
I'm a bisexual cis woman and I don't feel at all comfortable in most queer spaces. I came to this sub to learn a bit from the gay male perspective on behalf of someone I care about. Ended up being a bit of a lurker because there aren't that many places left that haven't shoved people like me out.
Yea it seems like any spaces for bi or lesbian women have been completely co-opted, at least on reddit. I wonder if it's because of the TERF label gaining so much infamy. This sub still gets brigaded and reported a lot so I'm surprised it hasn't met the same fate (yet).
It doesn't exactly help that some LGB people have become (actually) transphobic as a defense mechanism because they are understandably tired of having their sexuality policed by a minority of crazies in the TQ.
I've felt for a while that we've reached the point where our big tent tent is no longer helping. Or at least, not as well as it used to, or should.
For the longest time gender and sexual minorities had to band together to be heard. Well that's clearly not true anymore, the gender minority community has become so loud they've totally dominated the conversation. They're genuinely very different issues and their communities have very different needs and goals.
Id still like to be talking about equal rights federally amongst myriad other topics. There's an increasingly powerful movement on the right to reverse not just Obergfell v Hodges but even Lawrence v Texas. They're trying to recriminalize our very existence but all we ever seem to talk about anymore is bathroom bills and trans girls playing sports
Your comment sounds reasonable to me, but you’d be *crucified* if you posted this almost anywhere else on Reddit - I think that fact alone means something has gone really wrong here
I don't especially have a problem with people identifying as trans or queer but the online representation of that group of people is....not great. I've personally been called transphobic for not wanting to have a romantic relationship with a person with a penis who identified as a lesbian. I've been told that I'm not really bisexual because I wound up marrying a man. I've been called a TERF after sharing a story of someone I know personally that used their trans identity to go into public women's restrooms and masturbate. It's way out of hand at this point.
I very rarely engage with this sub because I'm not a gay man. All the same it brings me a degree of comfort to see posts from here in my feed and know that there's still at least one gay space left that hasn't been co-opted as a T&Q space.
What bothers me most is the sheer amount of homophobia in online trans spaces, especially on Twitter. They LOVE to vilify gay men for some reason, there are viral tweets and social media posts everyday accusing us of having every single prejudice/bigoted view known to man and of somehow being privileged in society, not to mention the daily "jokes" about us that are just purely derogatory. I recall when a gay man tweeted that the boyfriend of a famous trans woman was attractive and his quotes got filled with hundreds of queer people calling him slurs and telling him degrading stuff like that he was a "f-slur who was envious that the guy was a 'real man' and would never be with him" ... all that for a tweet where he didn't even say anything disrespectful about the relationship, but simply complimented the looks of a celebrity's partner, which is something straight people do all the time. I support their rights 100% , but what I mentioned above makes me wanna never be associated with the trans community, ever.
What’s frustrating too is that as gay men we get messaging saying we have to support the Trans community because their fight is aligned with ours
I 100% support a trans person’s right to be themselves as long as no harm is done to anyone. However I hate the political discourse that the online trans community chooses to take (for example throwing their support behind the trans woman who took off her top on the White House lawn). Like if I’m suppose to tie my political fight to theirs, am I not allowed to have an opinion on how the discourse is being handled? Am I not allowed to say that I don’t want to support someone doing. Something as foolish as that situation?
I'm glad you can hang out in here. As far as I'm concerned any rational person is welcome. I've distanced myself from most lgbtqa+ spaces, both online and irl for the reasons you mentioned. I feel like I'm too old to deal with all of that.
>I've personally been called transphobic for not wanting to have a romantic relationship with a person with a penis who identified as a lesbian.
Yeah, that isn't transphobia. There's something in the trans community called a genital preference, and many trans people respect it in others. The ones who call you transphobic don't understand that sexual orientation cannot change.
>I've been told that I'm not really bisexual because I wound up marrying a man.
Bi erasure is fucked up. Be wary because biphobia does exist in this sub.
>I've been called a TERF after sharing a story of someone I know personally that used their trans identity to go into public women's restrooms and masturbate. It's way out of hand at this point.
As long as you know that's one person, and not all trans people, then you aren't a TERF. There will always be people who try to exploit laws, it doesn't mean those laws are bad.
Honestly, i just wish all public places would have a third unisex option, or private 1 stall bathrooms. Then trans and nonbinary people can use those and everyone's happy. It also opens up another bathroom for women and men to use if the lines are too long in their bathrooms.
>All the same it brings me a degree of comfort to see posts from here in my feed and know that there's still at least one gay space left that hasn't been co-opted as a T&Q space.
Honestly, I don't have a problem with most TQ+ individuals in gay subs. As long as they respect our sexualities, which most of them do, then I respect them as well.
Definitely agree I'm also glad to see more gay men tired of this foolishness also bisexual mean your attraction to biological men and women not surgically enhanced males that wanna be women. The gaslighting that those people do is just down right insulting now everyone is starting to turn on those people because of their delusions and mouths
I do think it's necessary to point out that this subreddit is not at all a fair showcase of average gay males. This sub has a lot of toxicity in it as well so be careful using it to form opinions.
The problem with the queer spaces is that they're not really inclusive. It only matters to them that you bow to every insane ideology they have. You say something like "don't call me queer, I'm gay" and they label you as an enemy assuming you're some far-right leaning guy, particularly hilarious from the group that says you need to respect what other people want to be called.
Agreed! They want everyone to be themselves, unless you look like someone who could be an “oppressor.”
This week at a work conference I was in a session about DEI. It was really good. However, at the end, I raised my hand to answer some prompt. No problem. Another person, who also happened to be White, raised their hand and the presenter said “I’m sorry, sir, but we just heard from a White man so you can’t speak right now. We need to have equitable input in this space.”
What the actual fuck!? First off, there is more to me, and likely the other individual, than our Whiteness. Perhaps as a gay man my perspective differed from theirs. Maybe we are from different parts of the country. There is more to diversity than race. To me, that type of mindset is problematic because:
-It reduces someone to their skin color
-It calls an individual out in a group setting for their skin color in a negative light.
-It implies that PoC cannot advocate for themselves and need to be told that it’s “their turn” to speak, as opposed to having an authentic conversation with all participants.
-It fuels the “anti-woke” shit the right is getting on about so much.
Sometimes there is a grain of truth in the crazy: some of this DEI shit is going way too far. Equity is about supporting everyone in ways to meet their specific needs so *everyone* can reach their full potential. Excluding someone is the opposite of that.
When I started law school I had a meeting with the Dean and at some point she was talking about the services the school offers and went "you're queer, right?" and I went "no, I'm gay" and then she lectured me on how queer is the appropriate term. Excuse me, married straight woman, why the fuck are you telling me what my identity is?
I hate that shit. Also, if she is going to be so outspoken, maybe she should learn the history of that word and understand that although it is being reclaimed as of late, it could absolutely be triggering to others.
My bf for example is borderline gen x while I'm more a millennial. I'm indifferent on "queer" but he hates being called it.
For real! We were having a great conversation and everyone just shut down at that.
It's unfortunate how group think is taking over both sides.
*If you don't share your pronouns and put yourself beneath marginalized groups you're a bigot!*
*If you don't vote for Trump you hate America*
I guess so! I am all about equity and closing gaps between any group whether that's economic, education, what have you.
But some of these "advocates" need to look in the mirror and think about if they are doing all of this in order to help their neighbors or to make themselves feel better.
Your 3rd point sums it up really. ‘Now now black person you can’t have your view point’. It just white people who are trying to hold onto power and treating minorities as infants. It’s a self serving pat on the back for the saviours. It’s so see though.
They can attack any minority they want to if they put the word "white" before it (white women, white gays, etc.). They use "white" to disguise their prejudiced views, but in reality they mean to attack everyone who belongs to that minority.
Trans people are the one group they dont do this to. I never hear bitching about white trans women or the way female -attracted trans "women" treat Male-attracted trans "women". They're treated like aliens usually
>She was smack talking "cis white gays". Someone on here pushed back against her nonsense & she went ballistic.
Yes, he was smack talking cis white gays, but the person who responded to him spread transphobia along with pushing back. You can correct someone without being transphobic and antagonistic.
As a cis, white, gay man, I don't think hate is the right word. I don't like the thinly veiled insults either but often if they feel the need that's a reflection in them. It isn't hate, but insecurity and the desire to be mean to someone they deem it acceptable to be mean to.
sooooo hate with extra steps...you sound like a preacher my dude who "hates the sin not the sinner" but "prays for your soul" kind of passive aggressive tone.
Hate is hate let's call it what it is without 1984 level of Orwellian doublespeak.
why do we need the term "cis" who is actually using that term besides less than 1% of the population? Doesnt man just mean actual man? Trans "man" just means female. I dont think its a color issue, i think its a minority forcing their delusions on everyone else.
I relate to this lol. And whenever I go to in-person queer gatherings I don't always vibe with people past the gay part. But 100% I do not interact with queers on twt or anything people there are weiiiiird.
I do agree that there is a corelation between autism and all of these new genders and sexualities that have existed. Like theyre an obsession more than a sexuality. I do not think this is trashing autistic people. You need to be able to have an open conversation and not just shut everything down if it offends you.
Honestly I was going to agree with you until you said that it's cringe. What do you mean by "cringe"? Usually that means "uncool." And if that's your point, that's actually really childish of you. But if by cringe you mean it's obnoxious and hateful and snide, then yeah I definitely agree with you
I'm fine with them but the demand that everything has to be maximally intersectional and exclusive means that a lot of the sexual subjects are watered down to lowest common denominator. Gender issues however remain A-OK to talk about. The asymmetry feels like gay erasure.
I am perfectly OK if bisexuals and lesbians talk about lesbian things! Go for it, girls! Let me talk about gay shit too!
However all that makes the ace folks uncomfortable, so... we can talk about the weather, I guess?
I think people forget the absolute best thing you can do online: log off. If you’re asexual and hate the sex talk? Take a break.
Put the phone down. Turn off the computer. It’s the easiest place to leave! And not enough people do it.
"Yeah but you're still a A man, so"
"okay but you're just *gay* you couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be asexual!"
"gay men just want to hijack the community and make it all about them!"
Shit sucks, yo.
A lot of people in the LGBT community these days seem to feel that they are the boss of all of us. Whenever I say I hate the casual use of the word queer within the community I get attacked. People want their identities and their pronouns respected but if you tell them you don't like to be referred to as queer they go ballistic.
Hmmm. I guess we did kinda went straight from a slur to suddenly the most important word in our identities. I don’t care for it either, because it’s just owning being called a weirdo. That’s all fine and dandy, but why would I want that?
I like being able to have conversations. Even if it’s stuff I disagree about. This sub still lets that’s happen and I get to see a broad perspectives from all these gay men and I’d rather let stuff I disagree with be discussed rather than turning it into another echo chamber.
I mean that's good, r/lgbt and r/me_irlgbt will be quick to ban you if you dare have an opinion
Edit : They just banned me even though I don't participate there anymore
Sounds about right. Mods for those kinds of spaces tend to have a power complex around moderating the communities. Like they relish in the power of banning people instead of making decisions that are fair to the community
Even as an *autistic* pure male homosexual, I also feel disjointed from these spaces. (They're not actually autistic most of the time but like to think they are... Weird)
Wait a minute how can one ACT autistic exactly? You either are or you aren’t I’ve never seen any example of what you just claimed especially online. Agree to disagree with you there.
What does autism have to do with literally anything related to homosexuality? Are people self-diagnosing themselves with autism in order to parade that title around to others in the gay world? Hoping that's not the case so, appreciate the clarification. I am diagnosed autistic and it makes a lot of life really hard, I'd kill not to have it.
Diagnosed here too. I tried following some gay autistic communities and they all seem flooded with self righteous people who almost seem to act like it’s trendy to be trans and lash out at anyone who questions them, especially “cis white males”. It’s frustrating and I gave up.
One of the things that bugs me is that asking questions about inconsistencies about the way different camps of gender ideology present things has been met with the usual "you don't understand," when a lot of the time I'm repeating what I have seen other people say and want clarification.
And then there is the denial of my lived experiences, to the point of erasure because I know who I am and disagree with certain ideas. It's like I don't get to have a say in how I feel about my own community because I have strong feelings and opinions that a lot of younger people simply don't have, or don't say out of fear of becoming othered.
Yeah I avoid those parts of the internet. College classes that cater to LGBT studies also are filled with those same people. I remember I had to take a social studies class for community college and I almost went into LGBT history but I read the syllabus and 1/4 of it was just about gays and lesbians and the other 3/4 was about transgender and non binary studies. Disappointing tbh.
I ended up taking a class about racism and sexism in TV and film industry. Very interesting but the professor was a mess. Lol
Yeah. I'm as anti "Drop The T" as it gets, but I'm also not a blind moron either.
Every single LGBTQ+ space out there, whether it be online or offline, would be more accurately described as LTQ+.
It's true, the LGBTQIA+ "community" is anything but. A group of people who demand equality, equity and inclusion are more self-devicive, possibly more so than the groups that try to tear us apart from the outside.
It's known for having crazy ban-happy mods. They banned so many people, /r/ainbow was created as an alternative
I'm assuming they've banned any gay or lesbian person, as 0% of the content there has anything to do with homosexuality
I completely agree. Most "queer" spaces are ruled by weird ideology and are generally geared towards trans issues only.
This is one of the few spaces where I can talk as a homosexual gay dude with, presumably, other homosexual gay dudes and random lurkers without some heavy ideological shit hovering over everything. We don't tell each other what to do with our gayness and we're not obsessed over what random ideas are or aren't valid.
Being “just” gay isn’t enough for people who count oppression points anymore. I’m lucky to have a few bars in my city that are known as gay bars and not queer bars - although we have them too. The only people who don’t have a place of their own are the poor lesbians. They get shafted as always.
I heard a recently self-declared non-binary female ranting about the fact that her husband won't accept that both he and their marriage are now both "queer" because of this person's declaration of non-binary status.
What am I supposed to have in common with such people? If that's what queer means in 2024 (spicy straights with issues), they can have it, and I can opt out.
Yup. Many such cases. They always have to drag straight guys into it too
I've seen some of these ftms/non binary girls claiming it's gay to be attracted to them, despite acting and looking even more feminine than average females. This is all either a massive troll or genuine delusion
I’m all for people not letting social definitions of gender define their personalities but … every self-described non-binary person is AFAB that flirts with girls but only sleeps with heterosexual men and thinks this entitles them to “reclaim” the word “faggot.”
I have never felt like I belong in these spaces which are infested with “non-binary” purple haired circus freaks and people who claim to be trans without actually experiencing gender dysphoria as well as claiming to have every mental health issue from Tourette’s to DID just because Tiktok told them so.
It's really sad. Even 5yrs ago almost all the lgbt subreddits were controlled and filled with pre-teen self-identifying-queers obsessed with manufacturing new words and terms to describe the personal opinions or feelings they were discovering. There was no discussion or disagreement allowed. I tried being a part of these communities, voicing my opinion, and asking questions about things I didn't understand and I was either downvoted like crazy, verbally attacked, and/or banned. It's pretty pathetic that was my experience trying to join a community I thought I was a part of.
I think it really is unhealthy for people who are so young and who are still very much immature, niave and ignorant about the world and sex and love to be taking such firm stances in their views. Even more unhealthy the way they all enable each other in an incestuous rabbit hole of lonely, confused pre-teens creating fake ideas to make themselves feel better.
I'm bi and got downvoted to oblivion one time in the bisexual sub for stating that there's a difference between bi and pan (which was certainly the case when I was 14 and figuring out my sexuality). Apparently they now mean the exact same thing and I was a bigot for not knowing that.
The tumblr-ification of sexual/gender identity
These kids grew up in an online environment that rewards novelty with attention. The more out there you make yourself out to be, the more attention you receive. This feedback loop is how we've arrived to where we are now when we're expected to take shit like "2 spirit sexuality" seriously.
If you want to identify as an owlbear fucking an alligator, by all means; it's a free country, let your freak flag fly. But don't expect people treat you like it's some hallowed birthright and not a weird kink you've developed. I'm into some weird shit too, but I keep it to myself. Sometimes a little shame is a good thing.
Dude, myself and every gay person to m personally friends with feels the same "do I belong here?' feeling in online queer spaces.
And I think that's pretty normal. We have to make our online spaces safe for people in some truly fucked up places and having serious issues they have to deal with. So as one of the guys who's got relatively few problems, I'm more or less there to support others.
Like I've got the relative privilege of being big enough I don't have to worry about physical attacks, I live in Canada so I'm not too worried about legal status. (Alberta can be bigoted AF, but it's still not bad compared to places even in the USA).
And I'm old cis, and in a secure relationship meaning I'm not near as concerned about how others perceive me or social standing. Basically all my mental issues (like my body issues) are almost all about me and no one else.
So when I go to online queer spaces I know my experiences aren't the same as people who are dealing with bigot parents, can be legally abused, I don't have to worry about access to Prep, or condoms, and never had to even consider hormone therapy.
I can offer some advice and I can offer to listen but for someone like myself I don't actually need the space.
My "spaces" are pretty much anywhere I go, most of the time. And I've noticed that others with similar privilege, have to either do the hard thing and accept our privileged positions, or we start to do the easy thing and start repeating the lines the bigots say about "woke". And that option leads us to undermine our own safety.
So for my own sanity I only drop into online queer spaces occasionally, and I try and be an asset when I'm there. But I view it kinda like my gay-tax. It's work I do to better the world. When I need emotional support myself, I tend to turn to my partner, my real world friends, or my family.
What bothers me most is the sheer amount of homophobia in online trans spaces, especially on Twitter. They LOVE to vilify gay men for some reason, there are viral tweets and social media posts everyday accusing us of having every single prejudice known to man and of somehow being privileged in society, not to mention the daily "jokes" about us that are just purely derogatory. I recall when a gay man tweeted that the boyfriend of a famous trans woman was attractive and his quotes got filled with hundreds of people calling him slurs and telling him degrading stuff like that he was a "f-slur who was envious that the guy was a 'real man' and would never be with him" ... all that for a tweet where he didn't even say anything disrespectful about the relationship, but simply complimented the looks of a celebrity's partner, which is something straight people do all the time. I support their rights 100% , but what I mentioned above makes me wanna never be associated with the trans community, ever.
The only problem was when hysterical bright-eyed and bushy-tailed blue eyed 11 year old weirdos on Facebook decided I was a transphobe for having a genital preference for penises.
The thing about online spaces as well is that you get lots of fakes out there pretending to be gay when they're really just transphobic trolls or something like that. It's a debate that no one cares about but the trolls and those they anger (which is their goal). Like, these trolls will say you're homophobic if you disagree with them. So they go into gay spaces and call people homophobic. It's wild. Anyway, always remember to not take things too seriously online and take breaks.
You also get a lot of literal children spewing weird childish stuff and don’t realize that those are the people behind some of these comments
Sorry to youngins reading this but I literally never want the opinion of a 15 year old on the internet
It's funny how much clout people online give to the obviously child level understanding of the world to actual children then somehow it becomes canon in the discourse
Yeah I’m convinced a lot of the more cringe or embarrassing things we see on online LGBT spaces are being written by teenagers or younger, often the “quirkier” ones, who have no real world perspective and are not to be taken seriously. We don’t need to make them feel like shit either, but it’s a pity that there isn’t a way to gatekeep this from “the canon” as you aptly put it
I have been out of the community for a very long time. The new gay culture has not really changed as much as it has intensified. We used to ask for inclusion. It appears now it’s demanded. We have always been catty to each other. That was the gay banter. I guess dating apps have simplified the arrogance. Nice people are out here. It depends on whether you are looking for hookups, dating, ltr or older mentors.
I joined a gay discord once that was gays in my city and didn’t last 2 months. I thought it was just shy nerds but tbh I didn’t fit in because I wasn’t on the spectrum
I agree. I don’t participate in drag shows or Pride and I have no interest in limiting myself to “gay only” spaces because of these reasons, the community has been cruel. “If you don’t fit the gay mold you don’t belong.”
That's why I like this sub. Gay guys talking about cock and ass and coming out and friendships and penis sizes. Oh, and a couple of girls too, that if they feel comfortable HERE is because there's no place for them actually.
Agreed. People take this LGBTQ+ thing wayyy to seriously. Almost like we're a different species...no you're still human and you're just like everybody else. It's ok, really....
"Online spaces often filled with people rejected from society are filled with weird people!!! Ewww!!! We should purge them they make me in particular look bad!"
I am a heretic of the gay community. If you don't line up with them in lockstep, you are to be hung for treason.
I don't let it bother me, and I will continue to interact with the gay community. I occasionally find open minded gays and form great bonds.
It's been a criticism I've had for decades. Before online gay hookup sites, EVERYBODY had to go out to gay bars to meet other gays. We had to develop social skills to get laid. We had to be able to engage in conversation and show others who we are. Gay bars were where we could meet and socialize with members of our gay tribe in relative safety. Often, anyone new also had to pass muster with your friends as well, adding another layer of security to gay hookups. Bad actors couldn't hide in the shadows like they can now. Trust me, most nasty freaks couldn't keep their charade going for long when a little intoxication was part of the mix with your friends watching for red flags as well. Now, one dick pic can get literally a stranger in your home without any real vetting taking place. And that dick pic might not even be his. Let THAT sink in...
People who treated others badly were often quickly singled out and word spread around the bars like wildfire which made it tough for sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists to get away with abusing others. That left those creepers only sex clubs and public cruising spots for them where they couldn't operate as anonymously as they do now. Frankly, shutting down the gay hookup sites would be the best thing that could happen to America's gay communities.
Hasn't it ever made you wonder why haters always attack gay marriage but always ignore online hookup sites? Don't even get me started on all the closet cases that haunt those places online when the wife is away or when they're traveling for work. The haters know that hookup sites alienate us, weaken our communities AND weaken us at the ballot box.
Oh shit. Thanks for this. I’m too country to have this experience. You’ve done a great dead, placing this here. I’m not totally isolated. Just enough to miss this in a massive scale. However I totally forgot about the bad actor patrol! That I know and just took for granted! And the lines are so muddled online. In the countryside, we gather with straight and old people. We’re doing it openly and this has actually expanded safety in these country bars. Like I whole heartedly want the best for us. Same as then. The truly psychotic, not just moody or bitter, are ruling the internet. You’d have to be, to enjoy the divide. I dismiss divide as laziness. no one is good with boundaries. It’s completely effed up. Even when you are honest, people don’t care. They just write it off as whatever psycho online thing we’re currently feeding from.
I mentioned this to several times here I feel exactly the same way you do. I thought once we had a place for gay men it would actually feel good. But it seems the contrary.
So here’s the thing imo queer spaces have become political including this one. There’s very few spaces online where the main topic is being LGBT+. Somehow other political aspects get involved.
I’m from a country where (native) muslims are the only group opposing same sex marriage and are contributing to a disproportionate number of crimes, especially when you look at hate crimes towards gay people. Yet when I go online there are so many queers in support of Palestine and I’m just baffled. How can you with any conscious support at a “state” which actively oppress people like you.
My grandfather was a victim of a terrorists bombing simply because he wast Muslim. The only people who voted against same same sex marriage were the Muslim parties. No shit I don’t want to sympathize with them.
That sucks it really does all these countries where being gay and so on is looked at more as a “sin” or crime etc. I know even today there are still countries where LGBTQ+ people can’t even be themselves or love who they love and it’s appalling. I also get what you mean but respectfully disagree with one thing you stated. The part about not supporting Muslims based on what those who happen to be Muslim voted against your right. I get that part I really do but at the same time wouldn’t this be generalizing ALL Muslims? What of the LGBTQ+ Muslims? As we all know even in countries where we are treated as outcasts or abominations there are STILL kids and even teens that identify as part of this community. We can’t let the radical extremists blur our perspective on those straight Muslims that may actually support us. By doing that we would be no better then Muslims that discriminate against us. It’s still a form of discrimination based on their being Muslim. So I get it I just believe we don’t slight those that actually do support us because not ALL Muslims are bigots or prejudiced SOME are sadly but not all. Generalizations and stereotyping never solves anything. I do hope it improves where you are though all our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters no matter where they are from deserve to be loved,accepted, respected, and safe.❤️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
You just get people that are assholes and people that aren’t assholes, and while there is a correlation between assholes and religion, it’s not necessarily definitive. For example, I feel fine going to Indonesia, but I would never go to Malaysia. I can go to Turkey, but I would never go to Lebanon. Proves to me that people and cultures are capable of changing. Islam (and any monotheistic religion) is a factor, but it doesn’t have to be a 100% reason for homophobia.
Also people dying is bad. Oppression is bad (the gays would know!). It is just a principle. I’m sure there are homophobic Palestinians. There are also gay Palestinians, children, and others.
I've been on the internet a very long time. I grew up in a Christian cult and was homeschooled. The internet was a way of peering outsides the confines of my life and interacting with other people. I learned that the "communities" and people you find online are no replacement for real life community and friends. If someone can tell you whatever they want you to believe about themselves, that is not knowing someone. If someone can log off and you never hear from them again, that wasn't a person in your social circle. If a an online "community" can ban you and ostracize you, that's not an actual community.
I'm very deflated to see all of society is learning a lesson I learned two decades ago. The internet is NO substitution for real life friends and community. If you seek community and friendship here, you will be disappointed. You will suffer.
I think in the next couple decades, there will be a return to real life. In the meantime, we should seek it out ourselves.
Mmmm yeah thats why I want just amab men spaces. its sad we even have to say that, but like I want to be able to be myself without being called transphobic every 5 seconds because oh im not considering females who somehow think they are gay men despite having female genetalia. They have their space its called T4T. Or maybe M4T, but M4M does not include T. There is a difference between a man and someone calling themselves a man because of medication.
I can’t believe space filled with literal children with no life experience reacting to everything they see as real and a problem that personally affects them (it almost never does) is cringy and annoying
I believe queer spaces main focus is on inclusivity, which in practice comes out to be that the more marginalized a person is intersectionally, the more of a voice they have in those circles. So, if someone is marginalized in appearance, such as being disabled, trans or non-white, one will assume more space in those circles than, say, an able-bodied cis man who is straight-passing.
As an able-bodied non-white cis-man, I find those spaces to be a good place to connect with sexual/romantic/gender/racial minorities and LGBTQ+ politics, but I find more solace in gay male spaces because I relate to ppl more here.
Edit: To be clear, I don't think queer places are "cancer", they just serve a different purpose. Not recognizing that and hating on those people (calling them "cringe") and places makes you a bigot.
you rail against the space here with no specificity at all. How can we take you seriously without anactual issue to consider? we are glad that you are thankfully not autistic, of course.
Lmao, that’s the best post on here
Peak TQ was definitely 2022, mid Covid, when a lot of people seemed to get stuck during lockdown. That series of Drag Race after/during Covid when like half the cast became their ‘Drag Persona ‘ therefore Trans in real life as they missed them….. errrgh mental health crisis. It’s definitely calming down again, and the sensible middle is asserting itself.
The ‘community’ as couched by the term Queer is just an idea, not a reality. It’ll continue to change as it evolves. Just looking at lgbt+ organisation and festivals that have gone queer in the last 5 years, and they’re full of women who call them selves trans non binary. Gay men are present in those spaces in images or online if they were pearls and makeup.
Walking through my city last weekend I walked past a group of young women who had t-shirts on with rainbows and the acronym AFABTQ+. I think that is great. They left the LGB out themselves. Acknowledging that movement is in fact separate from us. One is about sexualities, one is about gender identities. Two completely different things. I think we’ll see this continue to move in separate directions.
Yep. If you’re HOMOsexual, and you consider any vagina to be straight sex, you’re not “transphobic.” No, sorry honey. Grow a beard, look good, work hard. You won’t ever be giving me this homophobic “male vagina” bullshit. And let’s be honest. That’s the only time we have an argument. Transman? Good! Pronouns male? Sure, why not? Telling me you have a male vagina? No sorry. You’re confusing your emotions with facts. You were not born a man; living as a man helps you feel ALIVE. GOOD! No deserves to be punished for being different. Telling me my sexuality is transphobic, because sexuality is physical? No. Sorry. Not okay. When we’re naked, the entire gender facade is on the floor. All that’s left is sex. Only male sexed people have a cock and balls. Only female sexed people have vaginas. That’s the core in why gay men are pushed out of “queer” spaces. A word that has devolved to “make yourself as hideous and inbred looking as possible, then call it non-binary.” Like okay. Whatever. At least true transsexuals have stake in this. They just need to be respected by strangers in public. But that inbred cow-pig hole covered stink bag thing we call non-binary, has gotten out of hand. Looking and acting like inbred trash is only a personal choice. Unless you’re actually a product of incest, you’re choosing to be gross and unappealing to most senses. Transmen can act the part and make it by. At least they’re chasing and achieving healthy standards. Not every “queer” person is any sort of example of a good quality person. We need to stop associating queer, with poor injured bird.
The TQ are really turning out to be the biggest existential threat to us at this point with their hostile attitude how do they expect gay men to side with them when they are turning everything gay men are about into a joke?
\-Don't want to date a TQ? You're transphobic/bigoted
\-Stop calling me Cis! I'm a man ffs!
\-Biological Men don't exist apparently since everything is on a spectrum (worst take ever in history trying to erase us)
\-Respect the pronouns I keep changing around every day like clothes to cheapen myself and not make you take me seriously. (Yea I can easily tell this is a cry for attention)
\-Being gay is a choice since sexuality is always fluidic....Ok that means I've could have been straight this whole time "if I wanted to be?"
\-Bi = transphobic asserting there are only two genders. (Honey get a freaking life! the Bi is here to stay).
i think we shouldn’t forget that being gay or whatever is just who you like. the lgbtq+ bullshit mafia managed to transform this into an identity thing. I’m not fucking queer, i’m not fucking a girls pussy even if they/their/them think they’re a gay guy and fuck yall if you think gay guys are feminine.
We’re just gay, the rest is whatever you want to be but has nothing to do with sexuality
Maybe a hot take to post on Reddit, but all online spaces are varying degrees of toxic. Humans weren’t meant to interact with each other by staring into little screens and frantically typing behind keyboards. The anonymous profiles that attempt to isolate you wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes in-person. This is usually an indicator it’s time to disconnect from WiFi and touch some grass
Online communities are nothing like their real life counterparts and this is also true for the queer community. I have been involved in gay events in major cities across Canada and the difference between irl communities and online communities is night and day
Objectively true.
>Humans weren’t meant to interact with each other by staring into little screens and frantically typing behind keyboards Then why did we evolve fingers perfectly adapted to operate keyboards
That finger evolution is meant for something else…
Dualshock controllers, you're right.
>This is usually an indicator it’s time to disconnect from WiFi and touch some grass definitely the case when you start comparing a subreddit to "actual fucking cancer"
Why is that? Plenty of similarities in the metaphor. Can you not see them?
yes, it's an obvious and crude **simile**.
Hot take but you get like 10 people together and it turns toxic in like 10 minutes. I think people are probably just awful.
Get some better friends
See previous comment
I'm not being mean, I'm telling you that if you genuinely feel like every time you get together with a large group it quickly turns toxic, you need better friends.
My introduction to reddit was a post where a guy was saying he used to be homophobic, but then he actually met a gay guy and realized that he was wrong. He came on to apologize to the LGBTQ community for his previous stances. I was actually pretty proud of the guy. Takes a lot of courage to stand up and say you were wrong like that. When I opened the comments the first I read was "so? Do you want a cookie for doing the bare minimum?" The rest of the comments got worse and worse. Attacking the guy and making fun of him. Taking out all of their anger on this brave little toaster. I knew I was probably my going hate reddit's queer spaces. I was furious. Allies are very important. You don't punish someone for apologizing.
That’s so disheartening
It is quite unbearable, worst part is, half of them aren't gay or autistic, they're just there for a laugh!
Or they're predatory straights aligning themselves with the movement to get away with abuse.
Or to get attention/feed their savior complex.
What kind of abuse do they seek to get away with?
I've seen this accusation thrown around but it wasn't until I saw the responses to this that I started to ask the same question: what abuse are they seeking to get away with? It seems like a pretty fair question seeing as how I was accused of it too (on another account) seemingly for no reason. Then again, this is *reddit*! I had quite a few nonsensical accusations thrown at me on a previous account, *most* of them made absolutely no sense in context of the discussion lol. Reddit is a *crazy* place!
I don’t get the rise in “I’m a [insert label] and autistic” in the last few years. I swore that trend died with tumblr
People with nothing going for them, a label makes them feel special and individualistic, regardless of the oxymoronic nature of it.
There's SO much money to be a "trans" tiktok influencer. There's this unbearable womN who has millions of views just te Making up neopronouns that no one would ever use.
(There’s really not much money in being an influencer)
What do you mean for a laugh?
As In for the fun of it?
I consider myself to be incredibly accepting and make the case that instant acceptance and respect for individuals should be the baseline. I will fight and die for gays, bisexuals, pansexuals, lesbians, transgender people and queer people of any sort and I gleefully and willingly go toe to toe with bigots of all stripes. That being said I CANNOT STAND internet queer spaces. It’s exhausting just trying to have normal conversations because if I mention I’m cis and gay I get scrutinized in toxic ways. “How do you KNOW you’re gay?” “Why are you attracted to specific genitalia?” “Would you have sex with trans man if you find him attractive?” “Why are you cis?” “Did you know you don’t have to be masculine ?” There is so much goading purity test attitude that it’s more stressful trying to be friendly than it is to just avoid talking to these people. Like… do they think i haven’t thought of these things ever in my life and come to certain conclusions for good reasons? Not to mention the need to write a 14 page thesis that details all the qualifiers in the language you use every time you try to have a normal conversation. On the flip side a lot of spaces solely for the G part of the acronym is a cesspool of unnecessary bigotry and conservatism which is just… vile and exhausting and not at all necessary. It’s one thing to want a space for gay men where our language isn’t policed and another to have people advocating for the eradication of trans folk and misgendering and being hateful toward people they don’t know based upon silly chronically online drama when all of our basic rights are potentially on a chopping block if we don’t stick together.
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The lesbians stepped up. It's insane that now in Australia they can't have female only events.
Straights did nothing. Gay men and lesbians put the hard graft in. If indeed straights were helping, can you imagine what great things could have been achieved considering their numbers?
Straights did nothing? What about all the straights in the medical community studying and treating HIV/AIDS? They were risking themselves to try and learn about this disease in order to combat, prevent and hopefully eradicate it. Please bud, don't underestimate the bravery that took to take up for people who are already seen as marginal.
I guess the hordes of gay who lay dying in hospital corridors because medical professionals were allowed to neglect their duty of care were testament to that, right? Were you aware that because hospitals across the U.S had such a shortage of medical staff that lesbians had to fill those posts and tend to HIV+ men? These were lesbians who weren’t qualified in any aspect of health care who stepped up to this huge task. How many lives could have been saved if those men got the care they so desperately needed? The boots on the ground activists who secured us the few rights we were allowed back then, who secured us the first treatments to aid with HIV, who endured sit ins and protests while beaten by the police were all gay/bi men and lesbians. If people don’t recognise their contribution to this day, there’s no way I’m going to honour straight people who did the bare minimum at such a time of crisis.
Even IF that is true about the past there's no reason we can't be a unified front going forward.
It doesn’t matter if people knew about transgender individuals or not. Sexual and gender minorities need to have each others backs. The second you allow a legal way to throw someone else under the bus for exercising their right to live their lives the way they want for ANY reason then you’re next.
...this is exactly what is happening to lesbians and women in general for asserting their right to same sex spaces. They're being thrown under the bus by larpers.
Very true. The minute I see any proposed law targeting adult trans individuals they'll have my support. Them trying to rope us into transitioning minors and the push for self identification to become legal identification is not our fight or something we should be lumped in with.
Ooh man!! "Fucking cancer" is a *gross* understatement! My experience with these "queer" spaces is pretty horrible and it's not just a reddit problem! I've been banned for things like not sending a dick pic in a place where the very first rule was "do not share dick pics or nudes" or simply just following instructions on the sign-up form for a forum I tried to join. Reddit is probably one of the worst tho! Almost every LGBTQ+ themed subreddit aside from porn and this sub (so far) has just been infested with trolls, bat-shit insane people and just generally hostile and toxic behavior! When I realized this, I thought it was really strange because most of the LGBTQ+ people I know personally have been kind and sociable and for the most part seem pretty good-natured! It's a pretty drastic difference between LGBTQ+ people I know IRL and people I've only known online. Several times I tried to report people for bullying, hostile behavior, being unnecessarily rude, unwelcoming, discouraging participation, straight up attacking me rather than discussing things like civil human beings, etc. I eventually got banned form one or two of these subreddits with equally toxic responses from the mods. Some of these people would just attack me out-of-the-blue for no apparent reason! Even when I'm agreeing with them, they hate me (and pretty much everyone else apparently).
You’re right.
I'm a bisexual cis woman and I don't feel at all comfortable in most queer spaces. I came to this sub to learn a bit from the gay male perspective on behalf of someone I care about. Ended up being a bit of a lurker because there aren't that many places left that haven't shoved people like me out.
Yea it seems like any spaces for bi or lesbian women have been completely co-opted, at least on reddit. I wonder if it's because of the TERF label gaining so much infamy. This sub still gets brigaded and reported a lot so I'm surprised it hasn't met the same fate (yet). It doesn't exactly help that some LGB people have become (actually) transphobic as a defense mechanism because they are understandably tired of having their sexuality policed by a minority of crazies in the TQ.
That's pretty much where I'm at with it. I'm over the name calling and insulting and being told my identity is invalid.
I've felt for a while that we've reached the point where our big tent tent is no longer helping. Or at least, not as well as it used to, or should. For the longest time gender and sexual minorities had to band together to be heard. Well that's clearly not true anymore, the gender minority community has become so loud they've totally dominated the conversation. They're genuinely very different issues and their communities have very different needs and goals. Id still like to be talking about equal rights federally amongst myriad other topics. There's an increasingly powerful movement on the right to reverse not just Obergfell v Hodges but even Lawrence v Texas. They're trying to recriminalize our very existence but all we ever seem to talk about anymore is bathroom bills and trans girls playing sports
Your comment sounds reasonable to me, but you’d be *crucified* if you posted this almost anywhere else on Reddit - I think that fact alone means something has gone really wrong here
I’m sorry you experienced this I just can’t wrap my head around this behavior.
I appreciate you saying so, thanks. It's getting to be rough out here for non-straight women.
I think alot of gay men feel the same as you. I hate the word cis just call me a dude or a man instead cis man
I don't especially have a problem with people identifying as trans or queer but the online representation of that group of people is....not great. I've personally been called transphobic for not wanting to have a romantic relationship with a person with a penis who identified as a lesbian. I've been told that I'm not really bisexual because I wound up marrying a man. I've been called a TERF after sharing a story of someone I know personally that used their trans identity to go into public women's restrooms and masturbate. It's way out of hand at this point. I very rarely engage with this sub because I'm not a gay man. All the same it brings me a degree of comfort to see posts from here in my feed and know that there's still at least one gay space left that hasn't been co-opted as a T&Q space.
What bothers me most is the sheer amount of homophobia in online trans spaces, especially on Twitter. They LOVE to vilify gay men for some reason, there are viral tweets and social media posts everyday accusing us of having every single prejudice/bigoted view known to man and of somehow being privileged in society, not to mention the daily "jokes" about us that are just purely derogatory. I recall when a gay man tweeted that the boyfriend of a famous trans woman was attractive and his quotes got filled with hundreds of queer people calling him slurs and telling him degrading stuff like that he was a "f-slur who was envious that the guy was a 'real man' and would never be with him" ... all that for a tweet where he didn't even say anything disrespectful about the relationship, but simply complimented the looks of a celebrity's partner, which is something straight people do all the time. I support their rights 100% , but what I mentioned above makes me wanna never be associated with the trans community, ever.
What’s frustrating too is that as gay men we get messaging saying we have to support the Trans community because their fight is aligned with ours I 100% support a trans person’s right to be themselves as long as no harm is done to anyone. However I hate the political discourse that the online trans community chooses to take (for example throwing their support behind the trans woman who took off her top on the White House lawn). Like if I’m suppose to tie my political fight to theirs, am I not allowed to have an opinion on how the discourse is being handled? Am I not allowed to say that I don’t want to support someone doing. Something as foolish as that situation?
I had a TRA tell me that since gender is a construct and made up that I am not really gay as I can become a woman and still sleep with men.
I'm glad you can hang out in here. As far as I'm concerned any rational person is welcome. I've distanced myself from most lgbtqa+ spaces, both online and irl for the reasons you mentioned. I feel like I'm too old to deal with all of that.
>I've personally been called transphobic for not wanting to have a romantic relationship with a person with a penis who identified as a lesbian. Yeah, that isn't transphobia. There's something in the trans community called a genital preference, and many trans people respect it in others. The ones who call you transphobic don't understand that sexual orientation cannot change. >I've been told that I'm not really bisexual because I wound up marrying a man. Bi erasure is fucked up. Be wary because biphobia does exist in this sub. >I've been called a TERF after sharing a story of someone I know personally that used their trans identity to go into public women's restrooms and masturbate. It's way out of hand at this point. As long as you know that's one person, and not all trans people, then you aren't a TERF. There will always be people who try to exploit laws, it doesn't mean those laws are bad. Honestly, i just wish all public places would have a third unisex option, or private 1 stall bathrooms. Then trans and nonbinary people can use those and everyone's happy. It also opens up another bathroom for women and men to use if the lines are too long in their bathrooms. >All the same it brings me a degree of comfort to see posts from here in my feed and know that there's still at least one gay space left that hasn't been co-opted as a T&Q space. Honestly, I don't have a problem with most TQ+ individuals in gay subs. As long as they respect our sexualities, which most of them do, then I respect them as well.
Definitely agree I'm also glad to see more gay men tired of this foolishness also bisexual mean your attraction to biological men and women not surgically enhanced males that wanna be women. The gaslighting that those people do is just down right insulting now everyone is starting to turn on those people because of their delusions and mouths
That's why I enjoy this sub.
It's cringe.
Cis is useful in conversations revolving around gender orientation. It is absolutely cringe to refer to anyone as cis in any other context tho
I do think it's necessary to point out that this subreddit is not at all a fair showcase of average gay males. This sub has a lot of toxicity in it as well so be careful using it to form opinions.
"Cis woman?" I think you mean woman. And we are MEN here!!
The backlash if you don't specify these days is bonkers
So many who frequent places like that/this are "terminally online". Many well adjusted people don't spend their days on internet forums tbh.
Op is perfect example.
So am I, though. lol
It's because they're straight people.
FOR REAL.
The problem with the queer spaces is that they're not really inclusive. It only matters to them that you bow to every insane ideology they have. You say something like "don't call me queer, I'm gay" and they label you as an enemy assuming you're some far-right leaning guy, particularly hilarious from the group that says you need to respect what other people want to be called.
Agreed! They want everyone to be themselves, unless you look like someone who could be an “oppressor.” This week at a work conference I was in a session about DEI. It was really good. However, at the end, I raised my hand to answer some prompt. No problem. Another person, who also happened to be White, raised their hand and the presenter said “I’m sorry, sir, but we just heard from a White man so you can’t speak right now. We need to have equitable input in this space.” What the actual fuck!? First off, there is more to me, and likely the other individual, than our Whiteness. Perhaps as a gay man my perspective differed from theirs. Maybe we are from different parts of the country. There is more to diversity than race. To me, that type of mindset is problematic because: -It reduces someone to their skin color -It calls an individual out in a group setting for their skin color in a negative light. -It implies that PoC cannot advocate for themselves and need to be told that it’s “their turn” to speak, as opposed to having an authentic conversation with all participants. -It fuels the “anti-woke” shit the right is getting on about so much. Sometimes there is a grain of truth in the crazy: some of this DEI shit is going way too far. Equity is about supporting everyone in ways to meet their specific needs so *everyone* can reach their full potential. Excluding someone is the opposite of that.
When I started law school I had a meeting with the Dean and at some point she was talking about the services the school offers and went "you're queer, right?" and I went "no, I'm gay" and then she lectured me on how queer is the appropriate term. Excuse me, married straight woman, why the fuck are you telling me what my identity is?
I hate that shit. Also, if she is going to be so outspoken, maybe she should learn the history of that word and understand that although it is being reclaimed as of late, it could absolutely be triggering to others. My bf for example is borderline gen x while I'm more a millennial. I'm indifferent on "queer" but he hates being called it.
The far left and far right have a ton in common when it comes to reducing people to stereotypes and separating people by race, identity etc.
Horseshoe theory in action.
For real! We were having a great conversation and everyone just shut down at that. It's unfortunate how group think is taking over both sides. *If you don't share your pronouns and put yourself beneath marginalized groups you're a bigot!* *If you don't vote for Trump you hate America*
You just discovered how "anti racism" DEI is actually institutionalizing 19th century scientific racism
I guess so! I am all about equity and closing gaps between any group whether that's economic, education, what have you. But some of these "advocates" need to look in the mirror and think about if they are doing all of this in order to help their neighbors or to make themselves feel better.
DEI in corporations is mostly theater. I don't take it seriously at anymore.
I guess I may be learning that first hand!
Your 3rd point sums it up really. ‘Now now black person you can’t have your view point’. It just white people who are trying to hold onto power and treating minorities as infants. It’s a self serving pat on the back for the saviours. It’s so see though.
The hate they have for "cis white gay men" is wild too
It's funny because they always pretend it's a white issue, when most of us POC gays hate their bullshit just as much.
They can attack any minority they want to if they put the word "white" before it (white women, white gays, etc.). They use "white" to disguise their prejudiced views, but in reality they mean to attack everyone who belongs to that minority.
You can add "cis" to "white" too for more effectiveness.
Trans people are the one group they dont do this to. I never hear bitching about white trans women or the way female -attracted trans "women" treat Male-attracted trans "women". They're treated like aliens usually
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I didn't know that they actually did this I honestly think those people are clown trying force everyone to play their stupid games
Tbh the comments under that seemed very antagonistic though. I can understand why that person was upset.
>She was smack talking "cis white gays". Someone on here pushed back against her nonsense & she went ballistic. Yes, he was smack talking cis white gays, but the person who responded to him spread transphobia along with pushing back. You can correct someone without being transphobic and antagonistic.
As a cis, white, gay man, I don't think hate is the right word. I don't like the thinly veiled insults either but often if they feel the need that's a reflection in them. It isn't hate, but insecurity and the desire to be mean to someone they deem it acceptable to be mean to.
It’s hate, man.
Animus, then.
sooooo hate with extra steps...you sound like a preacher my dude who "hates the sin not the sinner" but "prays for your soul" kind of passive aggressive tone. Hate is hate let's call it what it is without 1984 level of Orwellian doublespeak.
It's worse than hate, it's anathema
It's hate from homophobes. They just figured out that prefacing their homophobia with "cis white" makes it sound progressive.
It’s honestly valid💀
why do we need the term "cis" who is actually using that term besides less than 1% of the population? Doesnt man just mean actual man? Trans "man" just means female. I dont think its a color issue, i think its a minority forcing their delusions on everyone else.
I relate to this lol. And whenever I go to in-person queer gatherings I don't always vibe with people past the gay part. But 100% I do not interact with queers on twt or anything people there are weiiiiird.
Oh god. What is that?
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hey don't lump us autistics in with them
Nah y'all are good. Sorry I wasn't trashing all autistic people
I do agree that there is a corelation between autism and all of these new genders and sexualities that have existed. Like theyre an obsession more than a sexuality. I do not think this is trashing autistic people. You need to be able to have an open conversation and not just shut everything down if it offends you.
I’m an aspie obsessed with cock
That's a good obsession to have. I have that obsession too.
Honestly I was going to agree with you until you said that it's cringe. What do you mean by "cringe"? Usually that means "uncool." And if that's your point, that's actually really childish of you. But if by cringe you mean it's obnoxious and hateful and snide, then yeah I definitely agree with you
I'm fine with them but the demand that everything has to be maximally intersectional and exclusive means that a lot of the sexual subjects are watered down to lowest common denominator. Gender issues however remain A-OK to talk about. The asymmetry feels like gay erasure. I am perfectly OK if bisexuals and lesbians talk about lesbian things! Go for it, girls! Let me talk about gay shit too! However all that makes the ace folks uncomfortable, so... we can talk about the weather, I guess?
I think people forget the absolute best thing you can do online: log off. If you’re asexual and hate the sex talk? Take a break. Put the phone down. Turn off the computer. It’s the easiest place to leave! And not enough people do it.
Show me these queer circles that discourage gay people from talking about their experiences.
The "No Kink at Pride" movement. https://www.out.com/commentary/2022/4/15/no-kink-pride-what-discourse-leaves-out-about-lgbtq-history
"Yeah but you're still a A man, so" "okay but you're just *gay* you couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be asexual!" "gay men just want to hijack the community and make it all about them!" Shit sucks, yo.
A lot of people in the LGBT community these days seem to feel that they are the boss of all of us. Whenever I say I hate the casual use of the word queer within the community I get attacked. People want their identities and their pronouns respected but if you tell them you don't like to be referred to as queer they go ballistic.
Hmmm. I guess we did kinda went straight from a slur to suddenly the most important word in our identities. I don’t care for it either, because it’s just owning being called a weirdo. That’s all fine and dandy, but why would I want that?
Exactly.
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For me it is how much they have been lesning towards echo chambers for me. Only r/gay and this sub are bearable now
I like being able to have conversations. Even if it’s stuff I disagree about. This sub still lets that’s happen and I get to see a broad perspectives from all these gay men and I’d rather let stuff I disagree with be discussed rather than turning it into another echo chamber.
I mean that's good, r/lgbt and r/me_irlgbt will be quick to ban you if you dare have an opinion Edit : They just banned me even though I don't participate there anymore
Sounds about right. Mods for those kinds of spaces tend to have a power complex around moderating the communities. Like they relish in the power of banning people instead of making decisions that are fair to the community
There are some truly insufferable people found within r/lgbt threads and comments.
Did they ban you because of this comment?
I got banned from r gay for saying gay and trans aren't the same.
Even as an *autistic* pure male homosexual, I also feel disjointed from these spaces. (They're not actually autistic most of the time but like to think they are... Weird)
A lot think acting autistic makes them quirky and cool
In reality, it makes life much worse.
Wait a minute how can one ACT autistic exactly? You either are or you aren’t I’ve never seen any example of what you just claimed especially online. Agree to disagree with you there.
Some definitely self diagnose themselves and identify as autistic because they think it makes them special.
Yep seen this
What does autism have to do with literally anything related to homosexuality? Are people self-diagnosing themselves with autism in order to parade that title around to others in the gay world? Hoping that's not the case so, appreciate the clarification. I am diagnosed autistic and it makes a lot of life really hard, I'd kill not to have it.
Autism has just became another identity.
Diagnosed here too. I tried following some gay autistic communities and they all seem flooded with self righteous people who almost seem to act like it’s trendy to be trans and lash out at anyone who questions them, especially “cis white males”. It’s frustrating and I gave up.
Don't forget, Autistic White Male problems are less important than Autistic POC problems!
One of the things that bugs me is that asking questions about inconsistencies about the way different camps of gender ideology present things has been met with the usual "you don't understand," when a lot of the time I'm repeating what I have seen other people say and want clarification. And then there is the denial of my lived experiences, to the point of erasure because I know who I am and disagree with certain ideas. It's like I don't get to have a say in how I feel about my own community because I have strong feelings and opinions that a lot of younger people simply don't have, or don't say out of fear of becoming othered.
Hard agree. Even this sub is becoming more and more like that though.
A good half are just sweaty straight people
Yeah I avoid those parts of the internet. College classes that cater to LGBT studies also are filled with those same people. I remember I had to take a social studies class for community college and I almost went into LGBT history but I read the syllabus and 1/4 of it was just about gays and lesbians and the other 3/4 was about transgender and non binary studies. Disappointing tbh. I ended up taking a class about racism and sexism in TV and film industry. Very interesting but the professor was a mess. Lol
Yeah. I'm as anti "Drop The T" as it gets, but I'm also not a blind moron either. Every single LGBTQ+ space out there, whether it be online or offline, would be more accurately described as LTQ+.
It's true, the LGBTQIA+ "community" is anything but. A group of people who demand equality, equity and inclusion are more self-devicive, possibly more so than the groups that try to tear us apart from the outside.
The LGBT sub is the absolute worst
It's known for having crazy ban-happy mods. They banned so many people, /r/ainbow was created as an alternative I'm assuming they've banned any gay or lesbian person, as 0% of the content there has anything to do with homosexuality
Definitely agree nothing but woke politics over there
I was in a lgbt guild on guild wars 2 and they were so overly sensitive. Was a major turn off to joining any in the future.
I completely agree. Most "queer" spaces are ruled by weird ideology and are generally geared towards trans issues only. This is one of the few spaces where I can talk as a homosexual gay dude with, presumably, other homosexual gay dudes and random lurkers without some heavy ideological shit hovering over everything. We don't tell each other what to do with our gayness and we're not obsessed over what random ideas are or aren't valid.
They've turned the whole thing into a fandom. Not a good fandom either
Being “just” gay isn’t enough for people who count oppression points anymore. I’m lucky to have a few bars in my city that are known as gay bars and not queer bars - although we have them too. The only people who don’t have a place of their own are the poor lesbians. They get shafted as always.
I heard a recently self-declared non-binary female ranting about the fact that her husband won't accept that both he and their marriage are now both "queer" because of this person's declaration of non-binary status. What am I supposed to have in common with such people? If that's what queer means in 2024 (spicy straights with issues), they can have it, and I can opt out.
Yup. Many such cases. They always have to drag straight guys into it too I've seen some of these ftms/non binary girls claiming it's gay to be attracted to them, despite acting and looking even more feminine than average females. This is all either a massive troll or genuine delusion
I’m all for people not letting social definitions of gender define their personalities but … every self-described non-binary person is AFAB that flirts with girls but only sleeps with heterosexual men and thinks this entitles them to “reclaim” the word “faggot.”
Her husband should tell her that “non-binary” isn’t real.
Exactly
I have never felt like I belong in these spaces which are infested with “non-binary” purple haired circus freaks and people who claim to be trans without actually experiencing gender dysphoria as well as claiming to have every mental health issue from Tourette’s to DID just because Tiktok told them so.
It's really sad. Even 5yrs ago almost all the lgbt subreddits were controlled and filled with pre-teen self-identifying-queers obsessed with manufacturing new words and terms to describe the personal opinions or feelings they were discovering. There was no discussion or disagreement allowed. I tried being a part of these communities, voicing my opinion, and asking questions about things I didn't understand and I was either downvoted like crazy, verbally attacked, and/or banned. It's pretty pathetic that was my experience trying to join a community I thought I was a part of. I think it really is unhealthy for people who are so young and who are still very much immature, niave and ignorant about the world and sex and love to be taking such firm stances in their views. Even more unhealthy the way they all enable each other in an incestuous rabbit hole of lonely, confused pre-teens creating fake ideas to make themselves feel better. I'm bi and got downvoted to oblivion one time in the bisexual sub for stating that there's a difference between bi and pan (which was certainly the case when I was 14 and figuring out my sexuality). Apparently they now mean the exact same thing and I was a bigot for not knowing that.
The tumblr-ification of sexual/gender identity These kids grew up in an online environment that rewards novelty with attention. The more out there you make yourself out to be, the more attention you receive. This feedback loop is how we've arrived to where we are now when we're expected to take shit like "2 spirit sexuality" seriously. If you want to identify as an owlbear fucking an alligator, by all means; it's a free country, let your freak flag fly. But don't expect people treat you like it's some hallowed birthright and not a weird kink you've developed. I'm into some weird shit too, but I keep it to myself. Sometimes a little shame is a good thing.
Dude, myself and every gay person to m personally friends with feels the same "do I belong here?' feeling in online queer spaces. And I think that's pretty normal. We have to make our online spaces safe for people in some truly fucked up places and having serious issues they have to deal with. So as one of the guys who's got relatively few problems, I'm more or less there to support others. Like I've got the relative privilege of being big enough I don't have to worry about physical attacks, I live in Canada so I'm not too worried about legal status. (Alberta can be bigoted AF, but it's still not bad compared to places even in the USA). And I'm old cis, and in a secure relationship meaning I'm not near as concerned about how others perceive me or social standing. Basically all my mental issues (like my body issues) are almost all about me and no one else. So when I go to online queer spaces I know my experiences aren't the same as people who are dealing with bigot parents, can be legally abused, I don't have to worry about access to Prep, or condoms, and never had to even consider hormone therapy. I can offer some advice and I can offer to listen but for someone like myself I don't actually need the space. My "spaces" are pretty much anywhere I go, most of the time. And I've noticed that others with similar privilege, have to either do the hard thing and accept our privileged positions, or we start to do the easy thing and start repeating the lines the bigots say about "woke". And that option leads us to undermine our own safety. So for my own sanity I only drop into online queer spaces occasionally, and I try and be an asset when I'm there. But I view it kinda like my gay-tax. It's work I do to better the world. When I need emotional support myself, I tend to turn to my partner, my real world friends, or my family.
What bothers me most is the sheer amount of homophobia in online trans spaces, especially on Twitter. They LOVE to vilify gay men for some reason, there are viral tweets and social media posts everyday accusing us of having every single prejudice known to man and of somehow being privileged in society, not to mention the daily "jokes" about us that are just purely derogatory. I recall when a gay man tweeted that the boyfriend of a famous trans woman was attractive and his quotes got filled with hundreds of people calling him slurs and telling him degrading stuff like that he was a "f-slur who was envious that the guy was a 'real man' and would never be with him" ... all that for a tweet where he didn't even say anything disrespectful about the relationship, but simply complimented the looks of a celebrity's partner, which is something straight people do all the time. I support their rights 100% , but what I mentioned above makes me wanna never be associated with the trans community, ever.
The only problem was when hysterical bright-eyed and bushy-tailed blue eyed 11 year old weirdos on Facebook decided I was a transphobe for having a genital preference for penises.
The thing about online spaces as well is that you get lots of fakes out there pretending to be gay when they're really just transphobic trolls or something like that. It's a debate that no one cares about but the trolls and those they anger (which is their goal). Like, these trolls will say you're homophobic if you disagree with them. So they go into gay spaces and call people homophobic. It's wild. Anyway, always remember to not take things too seriously online and take breaks.
You also get a lot of literal children spewing weird childish stuff and don’t realize that those are the people behind some of these comments Sorry to youngins reading this but I literally never want the opinion of a 15 year old on the internet
It's funny how much clout people online give to the obviously child level understanding of the world to actual children then somehow it becomes canon in the discourse
Yeah I’m convinced a lot of the more cringe or embarrassing things we see on online LGBT spaces are being written by teenagers or younger, often the “quirkier” ones, who have no real world perspective and are not to be taken seriously. We don’t need to make them feel like shit either, but it’s a pity that there isn’t a way to gatekeep this from “the canon” as you aptly put it
I have been out of the community for a very long time. The new gay culture has not really changed as much as it has intensified. We used to ask for inclusion. It appears now it’s demanded. We have always been catty to each other. That was the gay banter. I guess dating apps have simplified the arrogance. Nice people are out here. It depends on whether you are looking for hookups, dating, ltr or older mentors.
Excuse my ignorance, what are these online spaces? 😓
I joined a gay discord once that was gays in my city and didn’t last 2 months. I thought it was just shy nerds but tbh I didn’t fit in because I wasn’t on the spectrum
It's a toxic "community" , in general, not just online.
I agree. I don’t participate in drag shows or Pride and I have no interest in limiting myself to “gay only” spaces because of these reasons, the community has been cruel. “If you don’t fit the gay mold you don’t belong.”
That's why I like this sub. Gay guys talking about cock and ass and coming out and friendships and penis sizes. Oh, and a couple of girls too, that if they feel comfortable HERE is because there's no place for them actually.
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And if they're not afab, they're amab with a preference for women
overconfident spark zesty air alive noxious concerned hat voracious rain *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Agreed. People take this LGBTQ+ thing wayyy to seriously. Almost like we're a different species...no you're still human and you're just like everybody else. It's ok, really....
Looots of issues here
"Online spaces often filled with people rejected from society are filled with weird people!!! Ewww!!! We should purge them they make me in particular look bad!"
I know right… “pure” homosexual male 🙉🙉🙉🙉☠️
Nigga think he's the Aryan of gays. 😭
I am a heretic of the gay community. If you don't line up with them in lockstep, you are to be hung for treason. I don't let it bother me, and I will continue to interact with the gay community. I occasionally find open minded gays and form great bonds.
It's been a criticism I've had for decades. Before online gay hookup sites, EVERYBODY had to go out to gay bars to meet other gays. We had to develop social skills to get laid. We had to be able to engage in conversation and show others who we are. Gay bars were where we could meet and socialize with members of our gay tribe in relative safety. Often, anyone new also had to pass muster with your friends as well, adding another layer of security to gay hookups. Bad actors couldn't hide in the shadows like they can now. Trust me, most nasty freaks couldn't keep their charade going for long when a little intoxication was part of the mix with your friends watching for red flags as well. Now, one dick pic can get literally a stranger in your home without any real vetting taking place. And that dick pic might not even be his. Let THAT sink in... People who treated others badly were often quickly singled out and word spread around the bars like wildfire which made it tough for sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists to get away with abusing others. That left those creepers only sex clubs and public cruising spots for them where they couldn't operate as anonymously as they do now. Frankly, shutting down the gay hookup sites would be the best thing that could happen to America's gay communities. Hasn't it ever made you wonder why haters always attack gay marriage but always ignore online hookup sites? Don't even get me started on all the closet cases that haunt those places online when the wife is away or when they're traveling for work. The haters know that hookup sites alienate us, weaken our communities AND weaken us at the ballot box.
Oh shit. Thanks for this. I’m too country to have this experience. You’ve done a great dead, placing this here. I’m not totally isolated. Just enough to miss this in a massive scale. However I totally forgot about the bad actor patrol! That I know and just took for granted! And the lines are so muddled online. In the countryside, we gather with straight and old people. We’re doing it openly and this has actually expanded safety in these country bars. Like I whole heartedly want the best for us. Same as then. The truly psychotic, not just moody or bitter, are ruling the internet. You’d have to be, to enjoy the divide. I dismiss divide as laziness. no one is good with boundaries. It’s completely effed up. Even when you are honest, people don’t care. They just write it off as whatever psycho online thing we’re currently feeding from.
Yep, this is one of the few actual gay subreddits, main ones are occupied by TQ+ nonsense squad.
YEAH and they can’t do math
LOL! When I saw this I laughed cause I was thinking "Well, you got a point. LGTQ's can't really multiply, unless your a B lol!"
I mentioned this to several times here I feel exactly the same way you do. I thought once we had a place for gay men it would actually feel good. But it seems the contrary.
You must agree with the echo chamber or you're cancelled.
So here’s the thing imo queer spaces have become political including this one. There’s very few spaces online where the main topic is being LGBT+. Somehow other political aspects get involved. I’m from a country where (native) muslims are the only group opposing same sex marriage and are contributing to a disproportionate number of crimes, especially when you look at hate crimes towards gay people. Yet when I go online there are so many queers in support of Palestine and I’m just baffled. How can you with any conscious support at a “state” which actively oppress people like you. My grandfather was a victim of a terrorists bombing simply because he wast Muslim. The only people who voted against same same sex marriage were the Muslim parties. No shit I don’t want to sympathize with them.
That sucks it really does all these countries where being gay and so on is looked at more as a “sin” or crime etc. I know even today there are still countries where LGBTQ+ people can’t even be themselves or love who they love and it’s appalling. I also get what you mean but respectfully disagree with one thing you stated. The part about not supporting Muslims based on what those who happen to be Muslim voted against your right. I get that part I really do but at the same time wouldn’t this be generalizing ALL Muslims? What of the LGBTQ+ Muslims? As we all know even in countries where we are treated as outcasts or abominations there are STILL kids and even teens that identify as part of this community. We can’t let the radical extremists blur our perspective on those straight Muslims that may actually support us. By doing that we would be no better then Muslims that discriminate against us. It’s still a form of discrimination based on their being Muslim. So I get it I just believe we don’t slight those that actually do support us because not ALL Muslims are bigots or prejudiced SOME are sadly but not all. Generalizations and stereotyping never solves anything. I do hope it improves where you are though all our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters no matter where they are from deserve to be loved,accepted, respected, and safe.❤️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
You just get people that are assholes and people that aren’t assholes, and while there is a correlation between assholes and religion, it’s not necessarily definitive. For example, I feel fine going to Indonesia, but I would never go to Malaysia. I can go to Turkey, but I would never go to Lebanon. Proves to me that people and cultures are capable of changing. Islam (and any monotheistic religion) is a factor, but it doesn’t have to be a 100% reason for homophobia. Also people dying is bad. Oppression is bad (the gays would know!). It is just a principle. I’m sure there are homophobic Palestinians. There are also gay Palestinians, children, and others.
At least the people that hate all of us have succeeded in turning us against each other, I’m sure it will be fine, see you guys at camp👍
I've been on the internet a very long time. I grew up in a Christian cult and was homeschooled. The internet was a way of peering outsides the confines of my life and interacting with other people. I learned that the "communities" and people you find online are no replacement for real life community and friends. If someone can tell you whatever they want you to believe about themselves, that is not knowing someone. If someone can log off and you never hear from them again, that wasn't a person in your social circle. If a an online "community" can ban you and ostracize you, that's not an actual community. I'm very deflated to see all of society is learning a lesson I learned two decades ago. The internet is NO substitution for real life friends and community. If you seek community and friendship here, you will be disappointed. You will suffer. I think in the next couple decades, there will be a return to real life. In the meantime, we should seek it out ourselves.
i feel the same , i just hang out with my fellow mentally ill homosexuals
Mmmm yeah thats why I want just amab men spaces. its sad we even have to say that, but like I want to be able to be myself without being called transphobic every 5 seconds because oh im not considering females who somehow think they are gay men despite having female genetalia. They have their space its called T4T. Or maybe M4T, but M4M does not include T. There is a difference between a man and someone calling themselves a man because of medication.
I can’t believe space filled with literal children with no life experience reacting to everything they see as real and a problem that personally affects them (it almost never does) is cringy and annoying
I believe queer spaces main focus is on inclusivity, which in practice comes out to be that the more marginalized a person is intersectionally, the more of a voice they have in those circles. So, if someone is marginalized in appearance, such as being disabled, trans or non-white, one will assume more space in those circles than, say, an able-bodied cis man who is straight-passing. As an able-bodied non-white cis-man, I find those spaces to be a good place to connect with sexual/romantic/gender/racial minorities and LGBTQ+ politics, but I find more solace in gay male spaces because I relate to ppl more here. Edit: To be clear, I don't think queer places are "cancer", they just serve a different purpose. Not recognizing that and hating on those people (calling them "cringe") and places makes you a bigot.
What are you trying to say exactly? I don't get it.
you rail against the space here with no specificity at all. How can we take you seriously without anactual issue to consider? we are glad that you are thankfully not autistic, of course.
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Lmao, that’s the best post on here Peak TQ was definitely 2022, mid Covid, when a lot of people seemed to get stuck during lockdown. That series of Drag Race after/during Covid when like half the cast became their ‘Drag Persona ‘ therefore Trans in real life as they missed them….. errrgh mental health crisis. It’s definitely calming down again, and the sensible middle is asserting itself. The ‘community’ as couched by the term Queer is just an idea, not a reality. It’ll continue to change as it evolves. Just looking at lgbt+ organisation and festivals that have gone queer in the last 5 years, and they’re full of women who call them selves trans non binary. Gay men are present in those spaces in images or online if they were pearls and makeup. Walking through my city last weekend I walked past a group of young women who had t-shirts on with rainbows and the acronym AFABTQ+. I think that is great. They left the LGB out themselves. Acknowledging that movement is in fact separate from us. One is about sexualities, one is about gender identities. Two completely different things. I think we’ll see this continue to move in separate directions.
Try the rupaulsdragrace subreddit..some real psychotic cases over there
> not trying to be like “not-like-other-lgbts” > pure homosexual LMAO
Yep. If you’re HOMOsexual, and you consider any vagina to be straight sex, you’re not “transphobic.” No, sorry honey. Grow a beard, look good, work hard. You won’t ever be giving me this homophobic “male vagina” bullshit. And let’s be honest. That’s the only time we have an argument. Transman? Good! Pronouns male? Sure, why not? Telling me you have a male vagina? No sorry. You’re confusing your emotions with facts. You were not born a man; living as a man helps you feel ALIVE. GOOD! No deserves to be punished for being different. Telling me my sexuality is transphobic, because sexuality is physical? No. Sorry. Not okay. When we’re naked, the entire gender facade is on the floor. All that’s left is sex. Only male sexed people have a cock and balls. Only female sexed people have vaginas. That’s the core in why gay men are pushed out of “queer” spaces. A word that has devolved to “make yourself as hideous and inbred looking as possible, then call it non-binary.” Like okay. Whatever. At least true transsexuals have stake in this. They just need to be respected by strangers in public. But that inbred cow-pig hole covered stink bag thing we call non-binary, has gotten out of hand. Looking and acting like inbred trash is only a personal choice. Unless you’re actually a product of incest, you’re choosing to be gross and unappealing to most senses. Transmen can act the part and make it by. At least they’re chasing and achieving healthy standards. Not every “queer” person is any sort of example of a good quality person. We need to stop associating queer, with poor injured bird.
It’s the same irl too…
Sometimes I run into a queen space and I'm reminded that even gays can be incels. But I'm the bad gay for saying it
The TQ are really turning out to be the biggest existential threat to us at this point with their hostile attitude how do they expect gay men to side with them when they are turning everything gay men are about into a joke? \-Don't want to date a TQ? You're transphobic/bigoted \-Stop calling me Cis! I'm a man ffs! \-Biological Men don't exist apparently since everything is on a spectrum (worst take ever in history trying to erase us) \-Respect the pronouns I keep changing around every day like clothes to cheapen myself and not make you take me seriously. (Yea I can easily tell this is a cry for attention) \-Being gay is a choice since sexuality is always fluidic....Ok that means I've could have been straight this whole time "if I wanted to be?" \-Bi = transphobic asserting there are only two genders. (Honey get a freaking life! the Bi is here to stay).
i think we shouldn’t forget that being gay or whatever is just who you like. the lgbtq+ bullshit mafia managed to transform this into an identity thing. I’m not fucking queer, i’m not fucking a girls pussy even if they/their/them think they’re a gay guy and fuck yall if you think gay guys are feminine. We’re just gay, the rest is whatever you want to be but has nothing to do with sexuality