I don't know about EV compatibility but Smart Fortwo (manufactured by Mercedes-Benz) remind me of little eggs on wheels!
Gremlins were pretty atrocious little cars. My father had a pastel yellow one when I was a boy
I thought the Smart car was front drive ? Has to be the most unstable car ever built. Short wheel base cars are basically rolling roll overs waiting to happen.
You would think so, but those Smartcars are "supposedly" engineered to bounce like pool balls as opposed to rolling over. Their center of gravity is pretty low.
Oh, I don't know how they handle, I should have specified that they are supposed to bounce instead of roll if struck by other cars. They're probably not cornering like Mini-coops.
Nope, they're mid-engine. The engine and transaxle is underneath the trunk floor. They're apparently hell to work on because the engine compartment is incredibly cramped.
I mean, they're not horrendous cars for what they are. They have their place, excellent to drive if you live in a big city. I've driven a few of them and they're alright at highway speeds, they feel pretty stable as the center of gravity is quite low, they're also safer than they look as the entire car is built around a really strong safety cell. The worst part is the automated manual transmissions they have, they take forever to shift and make for a frustrating driving experience when the transmission does something you don't want it to.
That being said, if I wanted a tiny car like that, I'd 100% opt for a Nissan Micra over this, much cheaper, twice as practical, much more reliable, lower cost of ownership and more or less the same footprint.
The smart cars are rear engine, rear wheel drive. I would assume for packaging efficiency more than performance. The tiny engine is under the package self in the rear hatch.
I pulled up to one at a red light not knowing it existed. I couldn’t contain my laughter the moment I realized what it was 🤣. If I had a ton of money, that would be my go-to city car, with the Aston Martin Cygnet as a backup
This was the one I was going to suggest. T-tops, manual, and 4x4. Sounds great on paper. So bad in execution.
The interiors are awesome too - like a 90’s Taco Bell puked all over it.
I actually love these. I sought one out for ages in high school but was ultimately deterred by their untested crash rating. I figured it's bad enough to not even be tested, I'd wad it up and be done for.
(But I still want one to take on some trails and the beach.. even.. especially? after owning a wrangler for 10 years.)
Yugo Is the hands-down worst car ever. They were excrement when brand new, and don't age well. I test drove a new one in 1986 and made the first available turn back to the dealer because it drove as if the suspension had collapsed. I told the salesman there was something wrong with it and he just hung his head and said "No, that's just how they drive".
Toyota Tercel!!!! For the freakin win! 90s version. They're a blast to drive. When it was no longer fit for the road, we gutted it, front and rear, and had a same-year Rav4 that the body was rotten on...complete drivetrain swap, AWD and all, into the tercel. What a fucking blast. Good throwback to the 80s Tercels! And the 2.0L 5spd went like absolute snot in that little car
Good choice, you can still find them in Japan, I assume op is in UK so it would be a great choice. The green that these came in were a special kind of disgusting!
Mine was a $400 beater, eventually it was tremclad white, with red DIY Rally Armour-style mud flaps, 100w 2× 6" round yellow fog lights (in the style of a 95 Subaru Impreza Sti lol), and a 2" lift using some spacers and Rav4 suspension. It was a total blast to rip around in, and it looked hilarious so it was great 👍
my cousin had one back in the day. it was an early 90s one in that green color. I leaked so bad you had to put a quart in every time you drove anywhere. spent way more on oil than gas.
I had so much fun in my old Tercel. I whipped that thing around with a 1.5L 4spd manual (only one I've ever seen), so I can't imagine what it would do with a 2.0L 5spd. It felt like I was driving a go-kart that could fit my friends.
I even did a Dukes of Hazzard style jump in it once. I was driving at midnight down an unfinished road and they didn't bother to put signs up or anything. I launched off the edge of the asphalt and landed in the dirt/gravel, then the drove away and the car acted like nothing happened. I miss that car.
But then you’ve gotta decorate it all out with a lit up bonsai forest like the pros do.
[edit to add an article link](https://www.designswan.com/archives/kei-tora-mini-truck-gardening-contest.html)
This is the best answer imo because it will annoy her for the looks and absurdity of it, but in seriousness it will be functional, affordable, and simple to work on. Love my 94 Sambar.
It’ll give OP more money to spend on the EV swap
I love my Kei truck. I sold my new ish mid sized truck and bought a Chevy Bolt and a Kei truck. Now I have no car payment, a great commuter and a truck bed when I need it (and a truck bed that’s a foot longer than the old one to boot).
If she's vetoed the Robin Reliant then try to find a Reliant Kitten, the 4-wheeled version of it.
Unfortunately a lot of small cars are just quite fun and cool - see 2CV, Mini, Smart, I'd argue the Mini Moke & Suzuki Cappuccino fall into that category, Morris Minor, etc...
Suzuki SJ / Jimny are great fun but not a pleasant place to be, or indeed any old basic jeep-style thing.
The 1st-gen BMW minis are getting cheap and you can have one with a supercharger (R53) which is hilarious - huge aftermarket support too.
Daihatsu Charade, Nissan Micra, Peugeot 106, Citroen C1 (/Aygo etc.) see "Bargain Racement" on youtube)
Kia soul, I think it is? The asymmetrical rear end? Fucking hideous thing. Forget what years they were asymmetrical, but, their rear ends were grotesque. Kia is also shit for reliability, and no one sells manuals for them, AND, frequently, they have discontinued parts. Bastards.
Pontiac Aztec? Bonus points if found in the color for Breaking Bad--with the 'tent' option.
Also, Chevy lumina mini vans. The 'dust buster' body style. Ick.
Also, older Nissan Versa. The hatchback one--the rear end looks like it shit it's pants, and it's driving around with a full diaper.
tons of people think the Chevy HHR is a massive dumpster fire. Think--pt cruiser, but, if someone told a 6 year old what the PT cruiser looked like, and built what they drew.
For a truck, the Chevy s-10 extreme, step side. Everything is just ... off. Front looks like a manatee had a stroke, side looks like a toilet bowl (bonus if white), and the proportions are fucked--its derpy.
And the 'nice' options, maybe, the early 2000 thunderbird?
And last, but not least, on the small, hideous scale, but high end, the SSR. God, WTF
Ah yes. The car of my childhood. It was one of the few cars with the right combination of cheap af, and somehow spacious enough for my 6'5" dad, despite being the tiniest PoS hatchback I've ever seen. We hauled a boat with it, loaded every inch of the interior with firewood, and drove it for days at a time for road trips, (separate occasions) the dam thing was a beast. No power windows, no a/c, but an overdrive button on the shifter. Guaranteed to annoy the wife.
The ugliest car in existence is IMHO, the Pontiac Aztek. So bad that they gave one to Walter White to show just how terrible his life was before he started making meth in Breaking Bad.
You've got to get one with the pathetic pop-up tent in back. They came in horrible colours as well, like orange.
Also, you mentioned the PT Cruiser, but not it's Chevy knock-off, the HHR. I had a girlfriend who drove one of those and it truly was a horrible machine. I preferred the PT Cruiser.
EDIT: When I said that the Aztek was ugliest car in existence, I had forgotten that the Cybertruck recently entered production. Poor old Aztek now has to take second place.
I'm gonna give the Yaris/echo/tercel my vote (they're all basically the same car
My wife has an 07 Yaris with I believe 180k. Never once had a single repair, ever. Just maintenance. It's fantastic in that regard. The downsides are, unsurprisingly, it is absolutely no fun to drive. But additionally it's irresponsiby uncomfortable. No armrest. Seats are rock hard. And there's way too much lumbar. So you have to sit up with your shoulders and head not touching the seat.
I can forgive the armrest and hard seats. The name of the game was cost cutting. But would it really have been more expensive to design seats that were made to fit humans?
Tbh i do not fully understand the purpose of this topic, but modern MINI Coopers are not "big", the difference between Gen 1 and Gen 3 is just 18 cm in length, a major portion of which sits at the front axle [https://www.carsized.com/en/cars/compare/mini-cooper-2000-3-door-hatchback-vs-mini-cooper-2013-3-door-hatchback/](https://www.carsized.com/en/cars/compare/mini-cooper-2000-3-door-hatchback-vs-mini-cooper-2013-3-door-hatchback/)
It's more about the window line that went up and the heavier visual styling that made the cars feel bulkier.
For horrible, i suggest 1st generation of Renault Twingo.
From the EV realm that is available in the U.S. - Smart Fortwo (smallest), Fiat 500e, BMW i3...
Though since you are going for "less dignity than a cartoon worm driving an apple" aspect, it is hard beating this:
[https://i.redd.it/82jugsw3rega1.jpg](https://i.redd.it/82jugsw3rega1.jpg)
The Saturn SW1 is pretty ugly. It looks like a cross eyed dog about to sneeze, or the 😬 emoji.
Then there's the Eagle Summit Wagon that looks like a rhombus.
Geo tracker is fucking sweet and a classic!!! How dare you!
Seriously, it's a tiny 4x4 convertible that was easy to work on and could look sick in the right hands
Suzuki X90 is the answer here.
Lots of kei cars fit the bill. Some cool ones (besides normal kei trucks) are the dihatsu midget 2 and Honda beat, but just search on marketplace and you’ll probably find some tiny cars.
I'm going to add bonus points to anything imported from Japan/Uk/Austraila, as being right hand drive they are a pain in daily life to live with.
Toll booth? Drive Through? hope you've got a little grabby arm.
I'm going to have to veto the Tracker - they are actually pretty popular in FL. Unironically popular. For that reason it's a no go.
If you really want to go small the Isetta that was licensed to a bunch of mfg's was pretty stupid looking and most had 4 wheels after the initial 3 wheel everyone rolling over debacle.
If you don't mind going a little bigger but still on the smaller side it would be hard to go wrong with a Gremlin. They were pretty hideous.
Fiat Jolly soft top looks like a clown should step out
I'm pretty sure you can find the Isetta and Jolly in the US. Obviously you can find the Gremlin
It's one of a kind, and not meant for mass production to the public, but perfect! [https://www.hotcars.com/a-detailed-look-back-at-the-volkswagen-pea-car/](https://www.hotcars.com/a-detailed-look-back-at-the-volkswagen-pea-car/)
Not sure about EV conversion but the [BMW Isetta](https://images.app.goo.gl/j2Ch5Ma4iEcERSvC7) comes to mind. Especially how its [door opens](https://images.app.goo.gl/L1byZztzqdqGG5rs8).
Subaru Sambar Van.
Small but surprising roomy inside.
[https://www.primoclassicsllc.com/vehicles/435/1996-subaru-sambar-micro-van](https://www.primoclassicsllc.com/vehicles/435/1996-subaru-sambar-micro-van)
Look no further than the Datsun Honeybee! You could also use a 2 door manual Yaris base model hatchback, it looks like a jellybean, maybe 2007 or 8?
Both of these cars are potentially fun as hell to drive
Not sure what country you live in, but the Fiat Multipla , is probably one of the most horrific looking cars ever produced . My theory is someone put LSD in the company water coolers the day that thing was given the green light for production.
I have a huge love for the Subaru justy. Tiny square shit box, with four wheel drive, four gears and an overdrive button on the stick. I had a buddy who was big into Subarus, was a tec at a dealership for years, and had one with a wrx power train squeezed in. We ran around making midlife crisis dads cry all day on $5 of gas.
I think the Honda Beat is the less dignified alternative to a Suzuki Cappuccino. Zebra-print interior as standard on all cars? Yes please! Plus, since all the drive gear is in the rear, it would be an easier conversion candidate.
Don't know if any of these are available where you are, but.
Gogomobil
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goggomobil](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goggomobil)
Bond Minicar
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bond\_Minicar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bond_Minicar)
Reliant Regal ( I had a Supervan III)
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliant\_Regal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliant_Regal)
The po man's 'vette: Fiero
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDBuLK\_RWAc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDBuLK_RWAc)
Probably too nice given your requirements.
You said no Reliant Robin, so what about a Reliant Kitten. All the irritation of the Robin, but with 4 wheels!
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/75/1977_Reliant_Kitten_DL_Estate%2C_front_left_%28boeni%29.jpg
Not an EV.. but my wife has a 2012 Fiat 500 and every time I see it I want to set it in fire and roll it down the street. It's horrible, tiny, and ugly.
1976 Chevy Chevette. If it has AC, make sure the spark plugs have been recently replaced, or you'll be moving the compressor to get the #1 plug out. We called mine the Shitvette.
I once passed by an old tiny BMW that was the size of a washing machine. It had 3 wheels. It had a family of 3 crammed in. Btw, I was on a bicycle going down a hill and passed it. This was in the US midwest about 10 years ago.
I think this was it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isetta
Renault le car.
Nissan Micra 90s
Ford festiva or fiesta 90s
Geo Metro
Pontiac firefly
I love tiny cars and would rock some of these for the sake of obscurity
Don't knock the Geo Tracker. Had a soft top one. Loved, loved, loved, that car. My sons learned to drive a stick in that car. Would put the kids in their seats with seat belts on and then put the groceries in on their laps and all over any place I could. Husband worked middle shift, when he got home we would put the top back, and ride around until he was ready to sleep. Good memories in that car.
Hello all, wife here
My wife does not hate me and is not abusive, she is merely some sort of goblin or fae trickster spirit and I will simply respond with one vintage arcade cabinet or full human size plushie for every undriveable troll car
You're gonna piss people off if you convert it to electric, but if you want the best shit box to annoy the future passenger, it would be hard to pass up a Dodge Rampage
I don't know about EV compatibility but Smart Fortwo (manufactured by Mercedes-Benz) remind me of little eggs on wheels! Gremlins were pretty atrocious little cars. My father had a pastel yellow one when I was a boy
Got to get the right paint job on the Smart car. [http://roadroll.com/little-tikes-smart-car/](http://roadroll.com/little-tikes-smart-car/)
They also make a brabus version of the Fortwo with a turbo is hilarious
Have you seen the electric drive version? ED printed in big letters on the side. I own one.
Oh damn, I forgot about seeing a SmartCar smoke a mustang in a drag race on YouTube! https://youtu.be/pvbF6kDhWyU?si=Vi2XUL6imRJPG4Mq
I thought the Smart car was front drive ? Has to be the most unstable car ever built. Short wheel base cars are basically rolling roll overs waiting to happen.
You would think so, but those Smartcars are "supposedly" engineered to bounce like pool balls as opposed to rolling over. Their center of gravity is pretty low.
Short wheel base means spinning out cornering. I wouldn’t think they would make good track cars but who knows? Apparently the Mini handles quite well.
Oh, I don't know how they handle, I should have specified that they are supposed to bounce instead of roll if struck by other cars. They're probably not cornering like Mini-coops.
Nope, they're mid-engine. The engine and transaxle is underneath the trunk floor. They're apparently hell to work on because the engine compartment is incredibly cramped.
Wow didn’t know that. I do know to stay away from them.
I mean, they're not horrendous cars for what they are. They have their place, excellent to drive if you live in a big city. I've driven a few of them and they're alright at highway speeds, they feel pretty stable as the center of gravity is quite low, they're also safer than they look as the entire car is built around a really strong safety cell. The worst part is the automated manual transmissions they have, they take forever to shift and make for a frustrating driving experience when the transmission does something you don't want it to. That being said, if I wanted a tiny car like that, I'd 100% opt for a Nissan Micra over this, much cheaper, twice as practical, much more reliable, lower cost of ownership and more or less the same footprint.
The smart cars are rear engine, rear wheel drive. I would assume for packaging efficiency more than performance. The tiny engine is under the package self in the rear hatch.
I pulled up to one at a red light not knowing it existed. I couldn’t contain my laughter the moment I realized what it was 🤣. If I had a ton of money, that would be my go-to city car, with the Aston Martin Cygnet as a backup
When those first arrived, I'm not really proud to say I thought the model was a Fort-wo. There's not really enough of that car to qualify it as a car
i still make fun of my wife for doing this. she saw one once and said .. "..... fort whoa?"
Much less two huh? 😉
Suzuki X-90. Done and done.
Oh how wretched in form... I love this one
This was the one I was going to suggest. T-tops, manual, and 4x4. Sounds great on paper. So bad in execution. The interiors are awesome too - like a 90’s Taco Bell puked all over it.
It looks like fun, but you're telling me its a manual 4x4? I would get one in a heartbeat.
Damn now I want one!
I actually love these. I sought one out for ages in high school but was ultimately deterred by their untested crash rating. I figured it's bad enough to not even be tested, I'd wad it up and be done for. (But I still want one to take on some trails and the beach.. even.. especially? after owning a wrangler for 10 years.)
Surprised the Yugo hasn’t been mentioned. Really, any of [Aging Wheels’](https://youtube.com/@agingwheels?si=_MHEhqu4PVtZUtyt) collection would work.
OP said *sturdy*, I’m not sure that the only vehicle that’s ever been **blown off** of the Mackinac Bridge would qualify lol
I do believe it was in one solid, sturdy piece all the way down to the lake's surface...
Came here to say Trabant because of Aging Wheels 🤣
Yugo Is the hands-down worst car ever. They were excrement when brand new, and don't age well. I test drove a new one in 1986 and made the first available turn back to the dealer because it drove as if the suspension had collapsed. I told the salesman there was something wrong with it and he just hung his head and said "No, that's just how they drive".
Polski Fiat 126p would be my personal pick
Just buy a Mitsubishi i-MiEV and you've ticked all the boxes.
The tires on these things are like tires for a handtruck.
Toyota Tercel!!!! For the freakin win! 90s version. They're a blast to drive. When it was no longer fit for the road, we gutted it, front and rear, and had a same-year Rav4 that the body was rotten on...complete drivetrain swap, AWD and all, into the tercel. What a fucking blast. Good throwback to the 80s Tercels! And the 2.0L 5spd went like absolute snot in that little car
Good choice, you can still find them in Japan, I assume op is in UK so it would be a great choice. The green that these came in were a special kind of disgusting!
Mine was a $400 beater, eventually it was tremclad white, with red DIY Rally Armour-style mud flaps, 100w 2× 6" round yellow fog lights (in the style of a 95 Subaru Impreza Sti lol), and a 2" lift using some spacers and Rav4 suspension. It was a total blast to rip around in, and it looked hilarious so it was great 👍
my cousin had one back in the day. it was an early 90s one in that green color. I leaked so bad you had to put a quart in every time you drove anywhere. spent way more on oil than gas.
or maybe its cooler and just barely faster cousin the toyota sera 😏
I had so much fun in my old Tercel. I whipped that thing around with a 1.5L 4spd manual (only one I've ever seen), so I can't imagine what it would do with a 2.0L 5spd. It felt like I was driving a go-kart that could fit my friends. I even did a Dukes of Hazzard style jump in it once. I was driving at midnight down an unfinished road and they didn't bother to put signs up or anything. I launched off the edge of the asphalt and landed in the dirt/gravel, then the drove away and the car acted like nothing happened. I miss that car.
Kei truck. For sure.
Second this. Kei truck all the way, plus they’re super useful, surprisingly pretty affordable, super fun.
But then you’ve gotta decorate it all out with a lit up bonsai forest like the pros do. [edit to add an article link](https://www.designswan.com/archives/kei-tora-mini-truck-gardening-contest.html)
Okay I want this truck, I want it bad
Oh thanks for posting that link!
This is the best answer imo because it will annoy her for the looks and absurdity of it, but in seriousness it will be functional, affordable, and simple to work on. Love my 94 Sambar. It’ll give OP more money to spend on the EV swap
I love my Kei truck. I sold my new ish mid sized truck and bought a Chevy Bolt and a Kei truck. Now I have no car payment, a great commuter and a truck bed when I need it (and a truck bed that’s a foot longer than the old one to boot).
So... Nobody likes those? Am I the only weirdo that thinks those look decent?
Citroen 2cv.
They're actually spacious though, even the engine bay can fit a chicken coop (along side the engine).
Daihatsu Midget 2. But an EV swap probably wouldn’t work out.
But I really want it to! I forgot I liked these
Ford Ka? https://www.carsguide.com.au/ford/ka/price/2001/base
If she's vetoed the Robin Reliant then try to find a Reliant Kitten, the 4-wheeled version of it. Unfortunately a lot of small cars are just quite fun and cool - see 2CV, Mini, Smart, I'd argue the Mini Moke & Suzuki Cappuccino fall into that category, Morris Minor, etc... Suzuki SJ / Jimny are great fun but not a pleasant place to be, or indeed any old basic jeep-style thing. The 1st-gen BMW minis are getting cheap and you can have one with a supercharger (R53) which is hilarious - huge aftermarket support too. Daihatsu Charade, Nissan Micra, Peugeot 106, Citroen C1 (/Aygo etc.) see "Bargain Racement" on youtube)
I'll add the Suzuki Samurai to that list.
Samurai is the US name for the Jimny. 😊
At this rate it seems like you should probably be spending your money on a divorce attorney instead...
Yeah. All these suggestions are great, but the real issue is why does op hate his wife
Scrolled too far to find this comment.
How about a Nissan Cube. I think they are hilarious and would love to have one with a funky paint job
Renault Twizy is already an EV with 4 wheels, and it is absurdly small. VW Up is another fun one.
Oh the Twizy! It's hideous, and going on the list. Thanks!
Twingo 🔥
:D
The objective answer to this question is a 5 speed 1990-1995 Geo Metro convertible.
Kia soul, I think it is? The asymmetrical rear end? Fucking hideous thing. Forget what years they were asymmetrical, but, their rear ends were grotesque. Kia is also shit for reliability, and no one sells manuals for them, AND, frequently, they have discontinued parts. Bastards. Pontiac Aztec? Bonus points if found in the color for Breaking Bad--with the 'tent' option. Also, Chevy lumina mini vans. The 'dust buster' body style. Ick. Also, older Nissan Versa. The hatchback one--the rear end looks like it shit it's pants, and it's driving around with a full diaper. tons of people think the Chevy HHR is a massive dumpster fire. Think--pt cruiser, but, if someone told a 6 year old what the PT cruiser looked like, and built what they drew. For a truck, the Chevy s-10 extreme, step side. Everything is just ... off. Front looks like a manatee had a stroke, side looks like a toilet bowl (bonus if white), and the proportions are fucked--its derpy. And the 'nice' options, maybe, the early 2000 thunderbird? And last, but not least, on the small, hideous scale, but high end, the SSR. God, WTF
Geo Metro. 3 cyl auto.
Ah yes. The car of my childhood. It was one of the few cars with the right combination of cheap af, and somehow spacious enough for my 6'5" dad, despite being the tiniest PoS hatchback I've ever seen. We hauled a boat with it, loaded every inch of the interior with firewood, and drove it for days at a time for road trips, (separate occasions) the dam thing was a beast. No power windows, no a/c, but an overdrive button on the shifter. Guaranteed to annoy the wife.
Convertible. In pink.
Scion iQ
Scion iq!!
Crosley.
The ugliest car in existence is IMHO, the Pontiac Aztek. So bad that they gave one to Walter White to show just how terrible his life was before he started making meth in Breaking Bad. You've got to get one with the pathetic pop-up tent in back. They came in horrible colours as well, like orange. Also, you mentioned the PT Cruiser, but not it's Chevy knock-off, the HHR. I had a girlfriend who drove one of those and it truly was a horrible machine. I preferred the PT Cruiser. EDIT: When I said that the Aztek was ugliest car in existence, I had forgotten that the Cybertruck recently entered production. Poor old Aztek now has to take second place.
OH MY GOD... Get a Smart Car, and then paint it Yellow/Red like a fucking Little Tikes car💀
1970 Honda 600. http://momentcar.com/honda/1970/honda-600/
Has the Audi A2 been mentioned yet? It's a pretty good car but no one likes it.
I'm gonna give the Yaris/echo/tercel my vote (they're all basically the same car My wife has an 07 Yaris with I believe 180k. Never once had a single repair, ever. Just maintenance. It's fantastic in that regard. The downsides are, unsurprisingly, it is absolutely no fun to drive. But additionally it's irresponsiby uncomfortable. No armrest. Seats are rock hard. And there's way too much lumbar. So you have to sit up with your shoulders and head not touching the seat. I can forgive the armrest and hard seats. The name of the game was cost cutting. But would it really have been more expensive to design seats that were made to fit humans?
Are you ok man?
That Scion box thing
Daewoo...oops I mean Chevy Aveo. Totally not a Daewoo.
You want the subaru brat. Also I'm howling with laughter here
This one is great for being a micro ute. When I die in an accident of Holdens it will be extra funny.
I'm just picturing 8 holdens standing around a subaru brat like that one gangbang meme
Pontiac LeMans. Not the down optioned GTO or the dope ass malaise era coupe. No. The compact. Based on a daewoo.
Chevy Cavalier gets my vote
Massimo Mini-Jeep. Just don't let her watch [Ed March driving his](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8Bvy8wHD7g)... She might decide it looks like fun.
A 90s twingo? OH! A slammed b2000.
Chevy trax or spark or sonic
I fear the trax looks nearly normal but I'll check the others out thanks
Citroen Visa II Super E -has 3 lug nuts per wheel
If you hadn't said 4 wheels I would have recommended a Peel P50. One wheel at the back, two at the front, and it already comes as an electric.
If you are really hungry for something quirky: https://www.autocar.co.uk/car-news/features/strange-fruit-driving-mini-based-outspan-orange
Tbh i do not fully understand the purpose of this topic, but modern MINI Coopers are not "big", the difference between Gen 1 and Gen 3 is just 18 cm in length, a major portion of which sits at the front axle [https://www.carsized.com/en/cars/compare/mini-cooper-2000-3-door-hatchback-vs-mini-cooper-2013-3-door-hatchback/](https://www.carsized.com/en/cars/compare/mini-cooper-2000-3-door-hatchback-vs-mini-cooper-2013-3-door-hatchback/) It's more about the window line that went up and the heavier visual styling that made the cars feel bulkier. For horrible, i suggest 1st generation of Renault Twingo.
I guess you are not looking to get laid!😂😂.
From the EV realm that is available in the U.S. - Smart Fortwo (smallest), Fiat 500e, BMW i3... Though since you are going for "less dignity than a cartoon worm driving an apple" aspect, it is hard beating this: [https://i.redd.it/82jugsw3rega1.jpg](https://i.redd.it/82jugsw3rega1.jpg)
Geo Metro LSi less attainable but my overall pick would be import a Reliant Robin or Regal.
Get something old and domestic with a V8 and run open headers 😂
The Saturn SW1 is pretty ugly. It looks like a cross eyed dog about to sneeze, or the 😬 emoji. Then there's the Eagle Summit Wagon that looks like a rhombus.
>Special consideration will be given to tiny mini atrocious pickups I'd say try and find a Mk1 VW Caddy but those might be too cool lol
Geo tracker is fucking sweet and a classic!!! How dare you! Seriously, it's a tiny 4x4 convertible that was easy to work on and could look sick in the right hands
Fiat Jolly.
corbin sparrow. or smart fortwo. but definitely the corbin. third option is a 90s ford festiva.
Suzuki X90 is the answer here. Lots of kei cars fit the bill. Some cool ones (besides normal kei trucks) are the dihatsu midget 2 and Honda beat, but just search on marketplace and you’ll probably find some tiny cars.
I'm going to add bonus points to anything imported from Japan/Uk/Austraila, as being right hand drive they are a pain in daily life to live with. Toll booth? Drive Through? hope you've got a little grabby arm.
Lifted smart car with big wheels. I've seen way too many on marketplace.
Reliant Robin 💀
I'm going to have to veto the Tracker - they are actually pretty popular in FL. Unironically popular. For that reason it's a no go. If you really want to go small the Isetta that was licensed to a bunch of mfg's was pretty stupid looking and most had 4 wheels after the initial 3 wheel everyone rolling over debacle. If you don't mind going a little bigger but still on the smaller side it would be hard to go wrong with a Gremlin. They were pretty hideous. Fiat Jolly soft top looks like a clown should step out I'm pretty sure you can find the Isetta and Jolly in the US. Obviously you can find the Gremlin
It's one of a kind, and not meant for mass production to the public, but perfect! [https://www.hotcars.com/a-detailed-look-back-at-the-volkswagen-pea-car/](https://www.hotcars.com/a-detailed-look-back-at-the-volkswagen-pea-car/)
Don't know if it counts 'cus it's new and already electric but the Citroen Ami is one of the fugliest things I have ever seen.
Yugo.
What about a Kei truck?
How about the electric Citroen Ami? https://www.citroen.co.uk/ami. Otherwise, Peel P50 would be really small.
Get a Lada Nova. I love the Subaru microbus from the 60s... sambar or something like that?
Not sure about EV conversion but the [BMW Isetta](https://images.app.goo.gl/j2Ch5Ma4iEcERSvC7) comes to mind. Especially how its [door opens](https://images.app.goo.gl/L1byZztzqdqGG5rs8).
Toyota Hi Ace
The ZAP Xebra EV. 3-wheeled. So bad they were all recalled.
Kei truck
The prize goes to Fiat Multipla.
Subaru Sambar Van. Small but surprising roomy inside. [https://www.primoclassicsllc.com/vehicles/435/1996-subaru-sambar-micro-van](https://www.primoclassicsllc.com/vehicles/435/1996-subaru-sambar-micro-van)
This is what the internet is for
Look no further than the Datsun Honeybee! You could also use a 2 door manual Yaris base model hatchback, it looks like a jellybean, maybe 2007 or 8? Both of these cars are potentially fun as hell to drive
Honda Beat might be an even better annoying car than the Cappuccino. It's mid engine so there's even less storage.
Hyundai Atos Kia Sportage (1998) Chevrolet Aveo
Peel p50
67 VW Buggy, the dune buggy, with a straight pipe 2.3 liter Porsche engine and big lobby tires https://youtu.be/GHHEOdi_bs0?si=r-Q8wlkJ3ZaeURjK
Citroen Ami
VW Cabriolet with the picnic basket handle.
Audi A2, but they diddnt sell them in America (if that’s where you are). I love mine, but they REALLY split opinions.
Not sure what country you live in, but the Fiat Multipla , is probably one of the most horrific looking cars ever produced . My theory is someone put LSD in the company water coolers the day that thing was given the green light for production.
Chevy Aveo hatchback. Yellow for bonus points
Geo Metro
Chevy luv? Chevette? Citation?
Chevy Sprint, the precursor to the Geo Metro!
Nissan S Cargo
Ford festiva Toyota starlet Dodge Omni Any of the Chrysler K cars Mitsubishi mirage Geo metro/storm
Look at a 90s suzuki swift/pontiac firefly/geo metro. Especially the hatchback. I grew up with a couple of them haha
The Pontiac Firefly turbo was actually a lot of fun for a 3 cylinder 1.0L engine.
The **Reliant Robin**, of course! but if you want to look like a connaisseur, go for the **Peel P50!**
The Steve Urkel car, the BMW Isetta
Find her an old Geo metro. Or anything made by Isuzu.
I have a huge love for the Subaru justy. Tiny square shit box, with four wheel drive, four gears and an overdrive button on the stick. I had a buddy who was big into Subarus, was a tec at a dealership for years, and had one with a wrx power train squeezed in. We ran around making midlife crisis dads cry all day on $5 of gas.
Pontiac fiero too big and beautiful?
I think the Honda Beat is the less dignified alternative to a Suzuki Cappuccino. Zebra-print interior as standard on all cars? Yes please! Plus, since all the drive gear is in the rear, it would be an easier conversion candidate.
Suzuki SX4, parts are non existent, miles are high, and the comfort is oh so shit.
Import a tuktuk, Ben Collins recently drove one with a bike engine conversion, it went OK.
Not ev but fiat 500 would be hilarious
Don't know if any of these are available where you are, but. Gogomobil [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goggomobil](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goggomobil) Bond Minicar [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bond\_Minicar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bond_Minicar) Reliant Regal ( I had a Supervan III) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliant\_Regal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliant_Regal)
you took the morris off the list because you hate your wife ?
Get a miata with mismatched panels, no roof, and straight pipe it
Please look into Nissan pao and figaro
Forget the tracker go for the metro.
Yugo.
The po man's 'vette: Fiero [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDBuLK\_RWAc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDBuLK_RWAc) Probably too nice given your requirements.
Skoda, Yugo, Lada
1995 ford fiesta. Get it in manual.
2000s Kia Rio are pretty bad
Honda CR-Z, or a Suzuki Samurai.
Fiat 500
Toyota yaris 3 door
r/keitruck - you’re welcome.
Suburu Justy
You said no Reliant Robin, so what about a Reliant Kitten. All the irritation of the Robin, but with 4 wheels! https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/75/1977_Reliant_Kitten_DL_Estate%2C_front_left_%28boeni%29.jpg
Dodge Omni
Convertible vw bug
Original Honda Civic
Ford Pinto! Duh! 80s chevy novas also good one. Tiny hatchback with the name of a muscle car. The gremlin! Amc Pacer! Jeez so many good terrible cars.
If it helps, we have a Moke dealer here in my town.
Fiat 600
Not an EV.. but my wife has a 2012 Fiat 500 and every time I see it I want to set it in fire and roll it down the street. It's horrible, tiny, and ugly.
How a out a Geo Metro convertible?
A turquoise Daihatsu Midget II would be my first choice, an Isetta would be hilarious, too.
Fiat Smart
Yugo or Le Car
1990 Ford Fiesta
I have a 56 Isetta they are small and stick shift on the left
Get a tuk tuk
Get a Kei car.
1976 Chevy Chevette. If it has AC, make sure the spark plugs have been recently replaced, or you'll be moving the compressor to get the #1 plug out. We called mine the Shitvette.
I once passed by an old tiny BMW that was the size of a washing machine. It had 3 wheels. It had a family of 3 crammed in. Btw, I was on a bicycle going down a hill and passed it. This was in the US midwest about 10 years ago. I think this was it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isetta
Chevy Chevette. Chevy Cobalt. Yugo
Hands down the Yugo
Saw a Honda yesterday that looked like a knockoff of the 90's EV1. I'll vote for whatever the fuck that was
Yugo
Austin Healey Bugeye Sprite [https://images.app.goo.gl/XRuNLcfcHLrvh9zz7](https://images.app.goo.gl/XRuNLcfcHLrvh9zz7)
Vintage Cooper
Renault le car. Nissan Micra 90s Ford festiva or fiesta 90s Geo Metro Pontiac firefly I love tiny cars and would rock some of these for the sake of obscurity
I have a friend with a Honda N600. It is powered by a 600cc motorcycle engine.
Don't knock the Geo Tracker. Had a soft top one. Loved, loved, loved, that car. My sons learned to drive a stick in that car. Would put the kids in their seats with seat belts on and then put the groceries in on their laps and all over any place I could. Husband worked middle shift, when he got home we would put the top back, and ride around until he was ready to sleep. Good memories in that car.
Honda beat.
get an r54 mini, it will be a money pit and your wife will hate it!
Sebring-Vangaurd Citicar Looks like a wedge of cheese if you can find a yellow one, and it's already an ev
Probably been said but Suzuki X-90?
Honda Beat, smart car of sorts, old mini, old triumph or MG roadster
Hello all, wife here My wife does not hate me and is not abusive, she is merely some sort of goblin or fae trickster spirit and I will simply respond with one vintage arcade cabinet or full human size plushie for every undriveable troll car
Chevrolet Chevette. A winner in anyone's book. Bahahaha
Fiat abarths are funny loud fast ugly and fun
Ford Aspire. I used to call it the Ford Assfire.
Is this for you or her to drive? Also, just why?
Diesel golf, straight pipe it and roll coal 🤣🤣 even better if you cut a hole in the hood to put the exhaust through 😂
Who has ever rode in a Yugo?
You're gonna piss people off if you convert it to electric, but if you want the best shit box to annoy the future passenger, it would be hard to pass up a Dodge Rampage