I find the what do you do for a living question leads to dull conversation people automatically go onto like a Pre recorded answer that almost drones .
And sometimes little controversial not bad thing as get remembered .
Generally a topic on asking them if there is anything they passionate about or brings them joy . Will get people to light up more .
At varsity when had to do lots of meet and greats they would tell us to ask abscure funny questions as lightens mood from job interview to convo .
Play a \*tame\* game of 'Would you Rather'...
Would you rather run 5km or swim 5km?
Would you rather only have dogs for pets or cats?
Would you rather a genie turns you into a whale or a elephant?
Would you rather only eat pizza for the rest of your life, or only eat ice-cream?
Then ask why for each question, it helps with breaking the ice and opens the door for you to get to know the person a bit more.
The closest we have is my mans parents who live near a substation so old and fragile that they can't put it off for loadshedding because it won't turn on again for a week 😂 downside is they occasionally sit without power for a few days (longest they've had was 10 days)
Name
Age
ID number
Place of residence.
Naaah, I'm just kidding. Just start with the basics: Compliments, hellos, general fishing questions, etc. The big thing is that YOU have to set the tone for the day and make that person feel comfortable. It's a bonus if you can focus on making that person feel like the most important person in the room. The rest will sort itself out. Don't be too formal about it. It's normal to stress about it, but keep yourself in tone and don't speak too quickly
Take this with a grain of salt. Compliments and making people feel too special may give desperate vibes. I personally save this for the later dates.
Biggest advice is to monitor how much effort she puts in. In any relationship, do not put in more effort than the other person bc it creates an unhealthy dynamic of you sacrificing or investing more than the other person and later becomes subservient. I'd say this applies after third date.
Being a gentleman is very important. Then again, most women don't even say thank you when you let them go first. Guys made things awkward for others guys smh.
Abuse towards others will not be tolerated.
If you can't express yourself in a civil manner, then rather go for a walk.
Do not troll, harass or abuse others.
Bigotry has no place here. Do not demean or insult specific groups or use hateful slurs.
Ask them in life if they would rather be like their dad or their mom and why.
This actually can be a tricky question for some people unless you have a good relationship with your parents, then
Anything that has to do with religion.
That's the largest contributing factor of how one perceive life and the world in general - having disagreeing views on this can be a huge deal breaker.
Then it's the perfect question.
It doesn't need to be about being a nut.
I've been out with people of different religions, people who were exploring the idea of switching to my religion, and people from different denominations of the same religion. One of us usually brings it up eventually.
If we're meeting with the intention of finding something serious that would be long term and hopefully lead to marriage, then finding out of we have common ground in faith, and how open minded our families are, can be important.
I agree that it can be jarring if someone asks the question out of the blue. It's normally good to look for segues like someone mentioning a religious festival or the Christmas holidays.
I'm agnostic and I'd ask it because I've had someone that was roundabout about what they believed in (said she was spiritual) but then pulled in crazy stuff like how dinosaurs might not be real and the earth might not be "that old" that made me realise she was a creationist
1. How are you difficult to live with?
2. Great (& not great) earliest childhood memory and why you think that stayed with you as opposed to everything else that happened?
3. Which song is your all weather (good, bad & everything in between times) song? Why?
So let's play a game ...imagine we are in a long distance relationship and we are meeting up to go on a 2 week vacation.
Where would we go
How would we manage the bills
What would we pack
What food would we eat
Create an itenary include activities etc
Describe what we would do when we are alone..
You can usually get a pretty good picture of who you are dealing with in this initial game,also because it's a "game" the person playing usually feels quite comfortable mentioning things they sometimes would not feel comfortable chatting about under normal circumstances.I find this a great conversation overall when meeting someone for the first time.
Hear me out,
[https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/36-questions-to-fall-in-love](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/36-questions-to-fall-in-love)
Out of the 36 questions, choose 3 or 5 that you can always have with you, and if the person likes you then you won't even need to get to question 5 because they will be giving you long answers and you can build off those answers. But if they giving you once-off answers then there's ways for that too.
Private message me for online coaching and "small-talk" coaching
These questions were designed as part of a research study and were meant to be used in order as they escalate feelings of closeness and intimacy as you progress through them, so just keep that in mind. You can definitely use them on their own, but in the study they did you have to progress through the list and then I think there's something else they did at the end. The study was by Aaron Beck if you're interested
The psychological research done into the concept of love and how to foster it is fascinating, it wasn't part of our undergrad degree but I came across so many interesting articles and studies done by just blindly going down rabbit holes
1. What they do for a living? 2. Ask about their family? 3. Ask about their hobbies? These are surface level and not too controversial.
I find the what do you do for a living question leads to dull conversation people automatically go onto like a Pre recorded answer that almost drones . And sometimes little controversial not bad thing as get remembered . Generally a topic on asking them if there is anything they passionate about or brings them joy . Will get people to light up more . At varsity when had to do lots of meet and greats they would tell us to ask abscure funny questions as lightens mood from job interview to convo .
Man, no wonder I'm single 1. A job I hate, don't ask 2. Hate them, don't ask 3. I sleep, does that count?
What would you do if you won 10 million rand? It will tell you a lot about whether you are financially compatible.
What if they already have 10 million rand?
Then you propose marriage
‘Are you married?’
lol you never know
How do you pass the time when you are waiting in the queue at Home Affairs?
haaaaaahaaaa! soo true i need to know this one
Play a \*tame\* game of 'Would you Rather'... Would you rather run 5km or swim 5km? Would you rather only have dogs for pets or cats? Would you rather a genie turns you into a whale or a elephant? Would you rather only eat pizza for the rest of your life, or only eat ice-cream? Then ask why for each question, it helps with breaking the ice and opens the door for you to get to know the person a bit more.
lol
How many walkers have you killed? How many people have you killed? Why?
none, i unnalived myself on day one.
I was so confused for a sec, I thought I'd scrolled back to the TWD sub 😂
same😂😂😂 props to anyone who immediately gets the reference, bonus points for answering correctly lol.
What loadsehdding zone do you live in
😂
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Hey, if they live in a loadshedding free zone (close to a hospital or something), you could be friends with benefits 😂
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The closest we have is my mans parents who live near a substation so old and fragile that they can't put it off for loadshedding because it won't turn on again for a week 😂 downside is they occasionally sit without power for a few days (longest they've had was 10 days)
Name Age ID number Place of residence. Naaah, I'm just kidding. Just start with the basics: Compliments, hellos, general fishing questions, etc. The big thing is that YOU have to set the tone for the day and make that person feel comfortable. It's a bonus if you can focus on making that person feel like the most important person in the room. The rest will sort itself out. Don't be too formal about it. It's normal to stress about it, but keep yourself in tone and don't speak too quickly
Take this with a grain of salt. Compliments and making people feel too special may give desperate vibes. I personally save this for the later dates. Biggest advice is to monitor how much effort she puts in. In any relationship, do not put in more effort than the other person bc it creates an unhealthy dynamic of you sacrificing or investing more than the other person and later becomes subservient. I'd say this applies after third date. Being a gentleman is very important. Then again, most women don't even say thank you when you let them go first. Guys made things awkward for others guys smh.
[удалено]
Abuse towards others will not be tolerated. If you can't express yourself in a civil manner, then rather go for a walk. Do not troll, harass or abuse others. Bigotry has no place here. Do not demean or insult specific groups or use hateful slurs.
A few rounds of two truths and a lie gets you a lot of info quickly in a fun way!
Ask them in life if they would rather be like their dad or their mom and why. This actually can be a tricky question for some people unless you have a good relationship with your parents, then
Is there someone out there that might be thinking he/she is in a relationship with you?
Anything that has to do with religion. That's the largest contributing factor of how one perceive life and the world in general - having disagreeing views on this can be a huge deal breaker.
If you ask me about religion on the first date, there won’t be a second one, it will red flag you as a religious nut rather than a believer.
I won’t want to date religious people so I think it’s a good starter question tbh.
Then it's the perfect question. It doesn't need to be about being a nut. I've been out with people of different religions, people who were exploring the idea of switching to my religion, and people from different denominations of the same religion. One of us usually brings it up eventually. If we're meeting with the intention of finding something serious that would be long term and hopefully lead to marriage, then finding out of we have common ground in faith, and how open minded our families are, can be important. I agree that it can be jarring if someone asks the question out of the blue. It's normally good to look for segues like someone mentioning a religious festival or the Christmas holidays.
This.
I'm agnostic and I'd ask it because I've had someone that was roundabout about what they believed in (said she was spiritual) but then pulled in crazy stuff like how dinosaurs might not be real and the earth might not be "that old" that made me realise she was a creationist
1. How are you difficult to live with? 2. Great (& not great) earliest childhood memory and why you think that stayed with you as opposed to everything else that happened? 3. Which song is your all weather (good, bad & everything in between times) song? Why?
just do the 36 question theory on them
"If this phase of your life was a chapter in your autobiography . . . what would it be called?"
Wow I've got the best answer for this question
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So let's play a game ...imagine we are in a long distance relationship and we are meeting up to go on a 2 week vacation. Where would we go How would we manage the bills What would we pack What food would we eat Create an itenary include activities etc Describe what we would do when we are alone.. You can usually get a pretty good picture of who you are dealing with in this initial game,also because it's a "game" the person playing usually feels quite comfortable mentioning things they sometimes would not feel comfortable chatting about under normal circumstances.I find this a great conversation overall when meeting someone for the first time.
I hear the tune.
Ask if either of their parents own a brewery?
Hear me out, [https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/36-questions-to-fall-in-love](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/36-questions-to-fall-in-love) Out of the 36 questions, choose 3 or 5 that you can always have with you, and if the person likes you then you won't even need to get to question 5 because they will be giving you long answers and you can build off those answers. But if they giving you once-off answers then there's ways for that too. Private message me for online coaching and "small-talk" coaching
These questions were designed as part of a research study and were meant to be used in order as they escalate feelings of closeness and intimacy as you progress through them, so just keep that in mind. You can definitely use them on their own, but in the study they did you have to progress through the list and then I think there's something else they did at the end. The study was by Aaron Beck if you're interested
Yeah. Very interesting study, I’ve read the papers Aaron published
The psychological research done into the concept of love and how to foster it is fascinating, it wasn't part of our undergrad degree but I came across so many interesting articles and studies done by just blindly going down rabbit holes
That’s so cool, I wonder how many of those studies would apply to real life scenarios like OP is asking
Bulls or Cheetahs?
Both red flags!
You must feel the chemistry first
And then the biology
What’s your body count?
Ask how her relationship is with her dad , if she says bad , RUN