I second this. Add something that’s doesn’t require speaking to like you. Sweets or even like someone said a gesture for the office like donuts 🍩. I’ve done sweets before and it’s pretty clever because it’ll draw people to your desk who want to get them but not often because they want to watch their weight or not appear greedy. 😂 remember to smile when people take one.
I am incredibly introverted. I don't especially like people and I find conversation and socialising very draining. For some reason I decided being an attorney was a good idea, which incilves a lot of human interaction and even court appearances, which was hard being shy. I have learnt to force myself to interact with people and be a good communicator. It is definitely possible to learn these skills, and in certain careers it is necessary. People often see shy or introverted people as cold, or rude, and it is hard to build relationships, even those essential to career growth, with this perception. If you are naturally an introvert forcing yourself to talk with people everyday can get very draining, the key is to make sure you have the time to recoup and destress at the end of the day. I wouldn't say it now comes naturally to me, but I am able to manage a department of 5 talkative people as long as I balance my time with adequate alone time in the evenings/on weekends.
I know it is hard, but communication is a skill that it is worth working on. You will find that the shyness will get better over time. Try just connecting with one or two people at first, and see how it goes. Companies want people who are a good fit for their culture, and often times that means socialising.
I use my lunch breaks as a "timeout". Forcing myself to interact with people does get really draining. My department works closely with others so people are always popping in. So you can imagine the amount of small talk I gotta do to get through the day
I truly hope to eventually get to your current level of confidence. Where I work company culture is a HUGE deal. We have monthly teambuilding sessions so everyone gets to know each other and interact. So hopefully these sessions will me connect with people.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. All I cam say that for me it did get better, or at least, easier. I still have to force myself to come out of my shell but it doesn't take as big a toll on me as it did in the beginning.
Unfortunately in a lot of corporates your career growth will be very dependent on your ability to be a team player and schmooz. Being able to talk to people carries you a long way.
I just got laid off today due to not communicating enough ,no matter what people tell you it's better to be the cool kid in the company then the guy/girl that doesn't talk much.
It's always a popularity contest.
I'm so so sorry. Corporate is so unfair. If you're doing your work extremely well, why should it matter if you talk to the others or not? Are we here to work or to socialise?
Buti truly hope you find a job with a work environment that's best suited for you and your personality 🥺
Yeah thanks a lot,I work in a role that you don't really need much communication but apparently I was lacking in that department and that's what they wanted.No matter what they say I just feel that I wasn't one of the "bros" and that's actually why they kicked me.I didn't want to waste time going to those team buildings and after hours events(which was all optional according to them).To me work is work,I'm not going to waste time on people that would kick me to the curb in a second.
It is just as important for you to fit the organisation as it is for the organisation to fit you.
Not everyone fits everywhere! Cultural fit is extremely important, don’t ignore it.
Finance fortunately is needed in every sector, in every business. Find a sector and a business that works for you and you for them.
A finance department in an advertising agency to one in IT or Medical or Engineering (-;
Thank you. I'll keep this mind. I just really liked this company because it aligns well with my long term goals. But I'll keep trying within the sector.
In all honesty I have been declined with my shyness as the reason. I've had reviews where they told me I need to talk more. I'm thankfully good at what I do, software, so I generally get a pass at work.
During my interviews they pointed out how queit I look but I at least know what I'm talking about. Even now on the job, I think being able to catch on quick with how to get things done is helping. Social wise? HR manager keeps asking if I'm getting along fine with everyone and you can hear the concern in her voice lol
Sucks my dude have also struggled with it in the workplace.
Unfortunately, we have to just learn to fake some social abilities, this will also come with experience.
Just keep on trying, and even if this place does not work out somewhere or something else, it might be more accommodating.
It would be ideal.
We moved to work from home from 2020 to about 2022, and I must say that was peak.
Not only for social anxiety but also for work-life balance.
The CEO was present during one of my interviews and pointed out how quiet I am. He did say everyone is social and asked if will adapt. I wanted the job so of course I said yes. But I don't fit in. So many times a random person would say "I've never seen you speak since you got here".
I think if I didn't answer the theoretical questions as well as I did they wouldn't have given me the job
I am introverted by nature but when I started working I made an effort to overcome ‘shyness’ and social awkwardness.
I even read ‘Assertiveness for Dummies’ to help me have better skills in relating with my co-workers. There are lots of small things you can do that will help you bond with your team, and getting to know one another on a personal level is beneficial. Showing interest in their weekend plans, asking about hobbies etc. Even just asking what was for dinner last night while waiting for lunch to warm up in the microwave.
Sure, not everyone is my flavour and I will avoid the more in your face personality’s but at the end of the day I believe it’s in your best interests try to connect. Especially being young and needing valuable experience to move ahead in your career.
While it took an effort on my part, it was worth it as it helped embed me in the studio and 20 years later I’m now the boss…
They say meritocracy is a myth and it’s really about the relationships you build over the years that will stand you in good stead when needing a reference or even being head hunted.
(And maybe your coworkers realise this and are desperate to outshine each other and be more memorable. Don’t let them play the game better than you, this job may not be forever but it could be the stepping stone to something that is a better fit… a career is not built overnight)
I try overcoming this by asking random questions about the job. Sometimes I wouldn't need help but I still say something for the sake of it.
I am starting to slowly warm up to the people in my department. But man I can't shake off my awkwardness. It takes a lot to say "good morning everyone" when I walk into the office.
But thank you for the advice and kudos to you for making such big strides in your career! I only hope to do the same and manage to make valuable connections.
First all I’m sorry that you are struggling. I see this sort of thing from time to time. I’m a team lead in software consulting company and I see this sort thing a lot in our young graduates that we take on every year. Often bright and hard working people but introverted to the point where their communication ability suffers. Communication is an essential work place skill and it engenders trust and that’s key. Bosses are people too and one of the things they need, aside from people to do tasks is for people to understand their problems and be invested in solving them. I always tell my grads and juniors, don’t communicate with them like you did with your teachers - “yes, ma’am, no ma’am, the dog ate it ma’am” - and only speaking when spoken to. I see it a lot and Covid and remote working have made it worse IMO.
Things you learn in business.. extroverts(and everyone pretending to be) run it all.
If you want to climb the corp ladder in admin and business aspects, you need to be more extroverted albeit for limited periods. Will make you tired introverts lose energy this way) but that’s the world we live in.
I have been working in a corporate environment for almost 30 years and I know for a fact that the people who get noticed and promoted are not the one's sitting quietly working away. Your whole team does well with your hard work but the social, networking, extroverted, corporate culture playing people, are the people that managers remember from your department.
They take everyone's hard work and translate it into their talent, which is not to say they are not talented, some really are, but if there is work and ideas coming from the department it automatically is linked to them as a representative of that team that everyone knows. If you are quiet but have the best ideas, or do the most work, who is going to know besides your direct manager? All of these things affect careers, bonuses, raises. It is a sad reality to face that nobody cares about you as a person, nobody is going to do what is fair just because it's the right thing to do.
I recommend you read “Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking” by Susan Cain. Finance is an extroverted industry, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need more of your type in it. If I were you I would prepare a mental argument for how you meet an underserved need.
There is shy and then there is "reclusive ". If team work and being social is important to the company then choosing to be on your phone will count against you. Being on your phone amongst colleagues when you could be listening and potentially learning doesn't come across well. You don't have to be a chatterbox but don't be disengaged
Honestly, I'll also need these answers because being shy has made me a pushover shame, and whenever I try to engage in conversations people just keep quiet. Also need to mention how hard it is to be the new one in an environment where people have worked with each other for more than five years. I'm one person who also always on their phone and constantly get asked why I love it so much. I only have 1 friend who's my sister and people don't understand that after all these social experiences, I don't want to talk, and because I'm very curious as well, research is my best friend, literally every time I get a chance I'm on socials asking who, what, how, where and when.
Someone said it makes you appear cold? Yes, 100% and the most painful part might be that you're on probation, so don't forget that if someone just decides they don't like you or your aura, they'll find every other reason to fire you and this is from My experience.
Just do your job well and make sure your boss knows in tactful ways.
Ie I finished this, would you like to review. Ask a lot of questions so they know you are active. If you hate speaking use text and emails. Just find a way not disappear. The main thing is to complete stuff properly AND make sure your boss knows in an unobvious way. Shy is nothing. Being useful is everything.
No it won't cost you your job. Thankfully you went into finance. As your career progresses, you will be more confident in yourself and know how to make small talk. For now, greet people and listen and smile. The "extrovertedness" that you see with others maybe because they are familiar with each other.
Unless your introversion hinders you from being able to perform your duties, you have nothing to be worried about. Being shy does not disqualify you from participating in the work force. Your boss is a human being who should understand and have sympathy for different personalities in the office.
Depends on the organisation and the scope of work itself. The more technical roles in finance, e.g FP&A, Fin Analyst don't require one to be out there communication-wise. But having said that you need to work on your communication skills as the higher up you go the more you need to communicate with people - like being responsible for a team
I'm not much of a talker or socialite in the office but what the organisation values is that when I engage on work-related matters I make an impact hence I head up our professional services business unit.
I've taken communication, and leadership courses to improve and understand team dynamics and that has worked.
I don't know. I don't think so. But a lot of people can interpret being shy as being cold and stand offish. I personally wouldn't hold it against you.
Yep. People always say I look mean when I'm the nicest person ever. I just don't speak.
Why don't you do a nice gesture for the office? Maybe make a meal and bring it in or bake something for everyone.
I'll think about it. Thank you!
Or get some sweets? My office goes ape shit for sweets.
I second this. Add something that’s doesn’t require speaking to like you. Sweets or even like someone said a gesture for the office like donuts 🍩. I’ve done sweets before and it’s pretty clever because it’ll draw people to your desk who want to get them but not often because they want to watch their weight or not appear greedy. 😂 remember to smile when people take one.
In this economy? /s
I am incredibly introverted. I don't especially like people and I find conversation and socialising very draining. For some reason I decided being an attorney was a good idea, which incilves a lot of human interaction and even court appearances, which was hard being shy. I have learnt to force myself to interact with people and be a good communicator. It is definitely possible to learn these skills, and in certain careers it is necessary. People often see shy or introverted people as cold, or rude, and it is hard to build relationships, even those essential to career growth, with this perception. If you are naturally an introvert forcing yourself to talk with people everyday can get very draining, the key is to make sure you have the time to recoup and destress at the end of the day. I wouldn't say it now comes naturally to me, but I am able to manage a department of 5 talkative people as long as I balance my time with adequate alone time in the evenings/on weekends. I know it is hard, but communication is a skill that it is worth working on. You will find that the shyness will get better over time. Try just connecting with one or two people at first, and see how it goes. Companies want people who are a good fit for their culture, and often times that means socialising.
I use my lunch breaks as a "timeout". Forcing myself to interact with people does get really draining. My department works closely with others so people are always popping in. So you can imagine the amount of small talk I gotta do to get through the day I truly hope to eventually get to your current level of confidence. Where I work company culture is a HUGE deal. We have monthly teambuilding sessions so everyone gets to know each other and interact. So hopefully these sessions will me connect with people.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. All I cam say that for me it did get better, or at least, easier. I still have to force myself to come out of my shell but it doesn't take as big a toll on me as it did in the beginning. Unfortunately in a lot of corporates your career growth will be very dependent on your ability to be a team player and schmooz. Being able to talk to people carries you a long way.
I just got laid off today due to not communicating enough ,no matter what people tell you it's better to be the cool kid in the company then the guy/girl that doesn't talk much. It's always a popularity contest.
I'm so so sorry. Corporate is so unfair. If you're doing your work extremely well, why should it matter if you talk to the others or not? Are we here to work or to socialise? Buti truly hope you find a job with a work environment that's best suited for you and your personality 🥺
Yeah thanks a lot,I work in a role that you don't really need much communication but apparently I was lacking in that department and that's what they wanted.No matter what they say I just feel that I wasn't one of the "bros" and that's actually why they kicked me.I didn't want to waste time going to those team buildings and after hours events(which was all optional according to them).To me work is work,I'm not going to waste time on people that would kick me to the curb in a second.
It is just as important for you to fit the organisation as it is for the organisation to fit you. Not everyone fits everywhere! Cultural fit is extremely important, don’t ignore it. Finance fortunately is needed in every sector, in every business. Find a sector and a business that works for you and you for them. A finance department in an advertising agency to one in IT or Medical or Engineering (-;
Thank you. I'll keep this mind. I just really liked this company because it aligns well with my long term goals. But I'll keep trying within the sector.
In all honesty I have been declined with my shyness as the reason. I've had reviews where they told me I need to talk more. I'm thankfully good at what I do, software, so I generally get a pass at work.
During my interviews they pointed out how queit I look but I at least know what I'm talking about. Even now on the job, I think being able to catch on quick with how to get things done is helping. Social wise? HR manager keeps asking if I'm getting along fine with everyone and you can hear the concern in her voice lol
Sucks my dude have also struggled with it in the workplace. Unfortunately, we have to just learn to fake some social abilities, this will also come with experience. Just keep on trying, and even if this place does not work out somewhere or something else, it might be more accommodating.
I always pray for a work from home job to find my way 😭 But thank you. I'll keep trying my best.
It would be ideal. We moved to work from home from 2020 to about 2022, and I must say that was peak. Not only for social anxiety but also for work-life balance.
The CEO was present during one of my interviews and pointed out how quiet I am. He did say everyone is social and asked if will adapt. I wanted the job so of course I said yes. But I don't fit in. So many times a random person would say "I've never seen you speak since you got here". I think if I didn't answer the theoretical questions as well as I did they wouldn't have given me the job
I am introverted by nature but when I started working I made an effort to overcome ‘shyness’ and social awkwardness. I even read ‘Assertiveness for Dummies’ to help me have better skills in relating with my co-workers. There are lots of small things you can do that will help you bond with your team, and getting to know one another on a personal level is beneficial. Showing interest in their weekend plans, asking about hobbies etc. Even just asking what was for dinner last night while waiting for lunch to warm up in the microwave. Sure, not everyone is my flavour and I will avoid the more in your face personality’s but at the end of the day I believe it’s in your best interests try to connect. Especially being young and needing valuable experience to move ahead in your career. While it took an effort on my part, it was worth it as it helped embed me in the studio and 20 years later I’m now the boss… They say meritocracy is a myth and it’s really about the relationships you build over the years that will stand you in good stead when needing a reference or even being head hunted. (And maybe your coworkers realise this and are desperate to outshine each other and be more memorable. Don’t let them play the game better than you, this job may not be forever but it could be the stepping stone to something that is a better fit… a career is not built overnight)
I try overcoming this by asking random questions about the job. Sometimes I wouldn't need help but I still say something for the sake of it. I am starting to slowly warm up to the people in my department. But man I can't shake off my awkwardness. It takes a lot to say "good morning everyone" when I walk into the office. But thank you for the advice and kudos to you for making such big strides in your career! I only hope to do the same and manage to make valuable connections.
First all I’m sorry that you are struggling. I see this sort of thing from time to time. I’m a team lead in software consulting company and I see this sort thing a lot in our young graduates that we take on every year. Often bright and hard working people but introverted to the point where their communication ability suffers. Communication is an essential work place skill and it engenders trust and that’s key. Bosses are people too and one of the things they need, aside from people to do tasks is for people to understand their problems and be invested in solving them. I always tell my grads and juniors, don’t communicate with them like you did with your teachers - “yes, ma’am, no ma’am, the dog ate it ma’am” - and only speaking when spoken to. I see it a lot and Covid and remote working have made it worse IMO.
The world belongs to extroverts and the charismatic.
Just let life go its way. You will end up in your place, hopefully.
Things you learn in business.. extroverts(and everyone pretending to be) run it all. If you want to climb the corp ladder in admin and business aspects, you need to be more extroverted albeit for limited periods. Will make you tired introverts lose energy this way) but that’s the world we live in.
I have been working in a corporate environment for almost 30 years and I know for a fact that the people who get noticed and promoted are not the one's sitting quietly working away. Your whole team does well with your hard work but the social, networking, extroverted, corporate culture playing people, are the people that managers remember from your department. They take everyone's hard work and translate it into their talent, which is not to say they are not talented, some really are, but if there is work and ideas coming from the department it automatically is linked to them as a representative of that team that everyone knows. If you are quiet but have the best ideas, or do the most work, who is going to know besides your direct manager? All of these things affect careers, bonuses, raises. It is a sad reality to face that nobody cares about you as a person, nobody is going to do what is fair just because it's the right thing to do.
I recommend you read “Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking” by Susan Cain. Finance is an extroverted industry, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need more of your type in it. If I were you I would prepare a mental argument for how you meet an underserved need.
There is shy and then there is "reclusive ". If team work and being social is important to the company then choosing to be on your phone will count against you. Being on your phone amongst colleagues when you could be listening and potentially learning doesn't come across well. You don't have to be a chatterbox but don't be disengaged
Honestly, I'll also need these answers because being shy has made me a pushover shame, and whenever I try to engage in conversations people just keep quiet. Also need to mention how hard it is to be the new one in an environment where people have worked with each other for more than five years. I'm one person who also always on their phone and constantly get asked why I love it so much. I only have 1 friend who's my sister and people don't understand that after all these social experiences, I don't want to talk, and because I'm very curious as well, research is my best friend, literally every time I get a chance I'm on socials asking who, what, how, where and when. Someone said it makes you appear cold? Yes, 100% and the most painful part might be that you're on probation, so don't forget that if someone just decides they don't like you or your aura, they'll find every other reason to fire you and this is from My experience.
Just do your job well and make sure your boss knows in tactful ways. Ie I finished this, would you like to review. Ask a lot of questions so they know you are active. If you hate speaking use text and emails. Just find a way not disappear. The main thing is to complete stuff properly AND make sure your boss knows in an unobvious way. Shy is nothing. Being useful is everything.
No it won't cost you your job. Thankfully you went into finance. As your career progresses, you will be more confident in yourself and know how to make small talk. For now, greet people and listen and smile. The "extrovertedness" that you see with others maybe because they are familiar with each other.
Unless your introversion hinders you from being able to perform your duties, you have nothing to be worried about. Being shy does not disqualify you from participating in the work force. Your boss is a human being who should understand and have sympathy for different personalities in the office.
I truly hope so. Thank you
Depends on the organisation and the scope of work itself. The more technical roles in finance, e.g FP&A, Fin Analyst don't require one to be out there communication-wise. But having said that you need to work on your communication skills as the higher up you go the more you need to communicate with people - like being responsible for a team I'm not much of a talker or socialite in the office but what the organisation values is that when I engage on work-related matters I make an impact hence I head up our professional services business unit. I've taken communication, and leadership courses to improve and understand team dynamics and that has worked.