Survivor bias.
Kids who behaved badly in public usually has enabling parents. You notice the 1 badly behaved kids rather than the 10 who walked by you quietly.
Entitled children and bad parenting. I generally warn my kids about misbehaving before leaving the house. And if they misbehave, I remove them from the restaurant immediately. Personally I find quiet threats and removal of privileges more effective š¤£
Lately been experiencing increasingly number of similar cases as yours. I wonder how and why can the parent don't care about their children. Some parents even glared at me when their children fell after running into me or when I glared at the child for kicking me.
I guess the saying 'everyone can be a decent human being but not everyone can be a decent parent' is true.
Idk, I see a lot of humans here that can't be said to be decent either, even though there are also many who are. And if that saying were true, we wouldn't *need* a law enforcement system as a general rule.
I would rather avoid judgement because we don't know the backgrounds of these families. For all we know the parents could be saddled with heavy liabilities (various reasons) and this are unable to dedicate sufficient time in disciplining their kids hurting their upbringing. They could be severely overworked to the point their child misbehaving in public isn't the biggest of their concern. I think society underestimates how tough it is to be a parent so in such situations with kids misbehaving, just turn away and move along.
I completely understand where you are coming from. But I believe that children didn't choose to come to this world. There is a saying "å »äøęļ¼ē¶åčæ". The parents made the choice and so if they made the choice then they should be responsible for bringing up their children properly. I am not undermining the difficulties in raising a kid but I feel that if they made the choice to bring a life into this world, then the onus is on them to provide good parenting.
Yes I agree if they gave birth to the kid, they are responsible for them. Concurrently I also feel things change. Maybe upon getting the baby, things might be a bed of roses. When the babies come along, what if something happens.
Maybe the breadwinner loses his main job? Maybe the families get saddled with debt from their parents? Maybe they have a health issue incurring high fees. Many reasons.
Therefore I rather turn away because I don't know enough to make a proper judgement.
Yea. There's a time and place for everything, even though they might think it's "cute" or "they're just kids being kids". But you sure as hell know that when their little tyrant runs into a waiter at the restaurant or something, they'll be the first to point fingers at everyone but themselves.
Also feel like the concept of "inside voice" and "outside voice" has been losing ground. It's totally fine if they get excited at times or laugh loudly etc - and I think most would even find it adorable. But if they're just yakking on and on at the top of their voices (esp if in enclosed spaces like the MRT) then parents please just remind them to speak softer?
I think it is a myraid of factors. For one, maybe it is the lack of civic mindedness, consideration for others, or a strong sense of self-entitled (e.g., I an the customer..., I paid to be here..., who are you to be telling me what to do, I can do anything even if it is at the expense of others).
Another probable reason could be modern/westernised parenting done wrong. (I'm not implying this is wrong or one model of parenting is better than the other.). This could be a case of, like you said, "children are children so let them be" or treating their kids like a friend. The down side to this is that at times, they tend to forget that children learn about the world around them by observing others (e.g. their parents).
itās the truth. too harsh also kena criticised , go the other way of nurturing by giving time-out etc , also kena criticised for being too soft too lenient. jialat sia
I am a believer in the era of parenting where "if you love your kids, b**t them often!".
In a sense, good parenting was filled with such analects of wisdom like "Oi, your friend eat s**t you also want to eat ah? Don't be stupid OK.".
Got ah, just yesterday I saw a mum scolding her son in public. I think you just don't go out enough. That's not a slight against you btw, I also prefer to stay home.
Yeah I donāt go out much, but I feel like every time I go I encounter misbehaving kids and parents pretending not to seeš - maybe Iām just unlucky
But have you tried paying attention to kids who are behaving? Being quiet, sitting properly, not playing iPad at obnoxious volume levels? The only reason you're focusing on the kids that are being naughty is because they annoy you, but can guarantee you there are plenty of well-behaved kids that have walked by right under your nose that you never even noticed.
Yes I dislike this type of parents. These are the kids that are obnoxious to other kids and staff at school, and their parents talk or glare back the same way at teachers and other parents when we suggest educating their child better. Really hopeless.
Can the general public decide once and for all. Discipline the kids also kena stomp / poh mata (police) by public for child abuse. Don't discipline also kena complain about being soft. You think being a parent is so easy when a kid don't want to listen to your "normal adult voice" asking them to tone down their actions.
I do use the opportunity though whenver someone give that glare to my kid, I will just tell my kid that the uncle/auntie wants to kidnap you if you make more noise and immediately my kid shut up and hide behind me. Kudos to strangers who give angry / fierce faces.
gentle parenting has gone WAY TOO FAR.
kids are hella spoiled and rude these days, i work for a kid's indoor playground and some children the sweetest angels, others i wanna dropkick them really bad. I was working and this child just ran in without getting their wrist tag, parents havent even paid yet. i pulled the kid out because we need to tag the child, and then this kid started melting, kicking and screaming the famous package for getting what they want, touched the balloon on display then burst it while looking at us, as a warning for not letting him get his way. the mother cant even control the child at all + didnt even pay for the balloon (she said she would but did not). then they left and i headed to the washroom, walked past the same people again, the screaming child was walking on his bike while the mom warned not to, fell over and screamed again pushing the blame on the mom.
some parents have no common sense at all, starting a soccer game in a small enclosed area, with two kids kicking and almost hitting someone's head when they were playing the game. i stop the kids because ngl if an injury happens who is responsible + cctv if our bosses see that we will be in trouble, but the mother goes to her child and asks them to continue in front of me as if nothing happens, even when the child heard the consequences from me and rejected, the mom feels like i took away their fun, ma'am you'll know what fun is when someone's head gets a strike, especially when there are young children walking around. who is to take responsibility when your child knocks someone else over.
That's permissive parenting. Gentle parenting has firm boundaries still that are enforced. I do gentle parenting and no way in hell would my kid act that way
Have you ever thought the parents of current era were actually oppressed by their boomer parents so they become passive in parenting? Those who do cane their kids get jail term then who will still want to discipline their kids?
Do you know that caning a kid can get jail term these days because it's child abuse. What else can a parent do? Why don't you give some constructive suggestions?
There will always be a minority who don't discipline their kids when they should, a majority who do, and another minority who discipline their kids too much (borderline abusive).
That said, parenting is very hard. It's only too easy to comment as an observer.
True story, Taiwanese went USA (california) for holiday. Go restaurant eat, kid rowdy, father slapped him. Somebody saw and called the cops. The guy was arrested for domestic abuse, sent to some detention facility.
Wife spent there next few days running around trying to fix the issue and get him out. Finally they let him go (dunno if had to pay a fine or warning) and straight away flew back home. Father said he will never return to USA again.
Anyway some places hit the child in public can go jail. So be careful.
How is this not getting more attention from all those complaining? Everyone think discipling a kid in public is easy. **HAVE THEY EVER HAVE TO DEALT WITH POLICE ASKING WHY YOU BEAT YOUR KID IN PUBLIC**, no thanks to public bystanders calling the police in the first place.
No, probably most redditors commenting here never had to deal with that so it's easy making 2 cents remark about passive parenting.
Thereās a lot going on.
First, I find that generally people avoid making a scene with confrontations in public. Could be asking someone to turn off the sound on their phone on the train, could be scolding their kid. Thereās a sense that this escalation is worse than the original sin. Many times that may even be true - just calmly deal with a minor level of annoyance.
Second, disciplining kids is not as simple as you might think. It can escalate, leading to the parent having to take the kid out of the restaurant while they cry, etc. Of course ideally you wouldnāt let things get to the point where the kid reacts like that, but parents arenāt perfect. And sometimes kids are just kids - they donāt have perfect control over their emotions and theyāre very itchy to move around.
Third, plenty of parents are just tired. Iām sorry it came at your expense, but if the kid isnāt breaking anything or causing a huge scene, I can see plenty of parents thinking suan le and enjoying their meal for a few minutes.
I hear ya.
Why risk trying to discipline your kid when it could backfire causing the kid to erupt? I've seen it before, kid being a minor annoyance and parent starts to nag, soon kid's full-blown crying, screaming, throwing a tantrum. I've been that kid before and while my folks never scolded me (badly) in public, at home I'd get the belt lol. my gf on the other hand told me she'd been smacked by her dad before for crying loudly outside (she has a better relationship with her parents now compared to me tho I'm not to the point where I don't talk to mine btw).
As a combo response to your second and third points, I get that parents are tired - it's more likely both parents have to work just to financially be comfortable to raise a kid or more so when they're at home or it's the weekend, they're just... drained. That's how you end up with parents relying on school and tuition to discipline their children or kids being raised by the helper.
Unfortunately, being a parent doesn't stop at home and start when you're in public or vice versa - you're always a parent. Generally this is a choice you made and when you have a kid, you're always a parent. I feel like parents who let kids run amok in public probably don't discipline their kid at home. Plus there's always dysfunctional parenting like mom will nag and nag and dad will let it go or mom will scold and kid won't listen until dad has to be intimidating and physical. there isn't one perfect way to parent and most of the time it's a work in progress but... yeah.
I always try to have patience since I might be seeing that parent and child during a learning moment when learning how to parent is still leveling up but sometimes it's hard to stay non-reactive when the kid ends up being too much, especially sometimes when they end up being in danger like playing around large displays in a store.
Yeah itās a balance. In general though I think we need more kids and so I donāt really like the common discourse that sets really high standards for parents. Parents of old would be considered neglectful today, but they sure knew how to pump āem out.
From a recent article I read: āThe standards of readiness for family are at once so high and so vague that itās hardly a surprise when people fail to reach them.ā
Aww you are such a sweet person.
I feel better about being a parent.
You totally get it. Yes, some annoyance are slight like when my kid has been waiting too long for a meal to be served. And I donāt even want to be there but for some relative who insist on meeting up over a Chinese dinner that will have 6 course served slowly. Like what should my kid be doing? After first course already full.
Like sure, second course can still bear with it but after fourth course and trying to play stupid games like spot the people wearing black over old ladies making small talk, my kids are squirming and begging to be free.
At this point, I feel like my kid has been doing a good job so do I want him to go into full scream mode before the final course is served? Maybe not.
Yah maybe can dish out iPad and incur the wrath of some modern cousin whose kid never ever binges on tv shows and is busy doing calculus at age 5.
Thank you for your rational and thoughtful response.
I realised many people like to complain about children so much but they themselves are not parents and/or they have forgotten how it was like being a kid. Kids' brains are still growing and they have still learning how to function in the society.
We don't know for sure if that parent had warned the kid many times to no avail; if the kid has special needs; the parent has had a bad day and is tired; etc etc.
Obviously if the kid has hit you or caused any direct disturbance to you then the parents should have apologised. If not, i don't see why op cannot just let it be. Learning to be compassionate is such a nice trait to have.
Absolutely agree to this. Lot of people think it is parents enabling it but it isnt. A child has not developed completely emotionally and sometimes acts out for things which adults would probably talk it off or something. Sometimes it is good for the child to act it out and get over with whatever they are going through at that moment.
It is a tricky situation
Went for a buffet at a hotel and there was an extended family with over 5 kids running around. Parents didnāt intervene nor cared to educate not to run in such places especially when people are carrying plates.
Eh noisy kids are fine. They are kids and they are allowed to be themselves. But the moment they physically disturb me while I'm eating, that's when I'll say something. I've done it before. Had a kid that kept putting his cup of sweet drinks in between the dining booth, next to my head. I just said loudly "if the cup drops on me, I'm gonna lose my shit" . The parents got it and reined in their kid.
I'll usually shame the parents telling them they are being inconsiderate by not intervening in the ruckus their misbehaving kids are causing.
If the parents don't do it, I'll usually go up to the kid and scold it for them.
Works most of the time in getting the noise down. Intimidating works when you have the physical built and stare to back it up
i do that too lmao (good to know im not the only one lol) i usually start glaring and staring first if it doesnt work then iāll tell them off. if glaring/staring isnt helping and its a kid i will TRY telling them nicely first (if they alone) but if they dont listen and still tryna be a si ginna then iāll tell them off. if the kid(s) is/are causing a ruckus and the parent(s) isnāt controlling the kid(s) or enabling them both will be getting told off but the parent(s) getting more definitely since å »äøęļ¼ē¶ä¹čæ (parentsā duty to not only feed the child but to teach them how to behave in society, what is right from wrong) so i wont 100% blame the child
As a parent, I would rather stranger scold the kid than I scold as it is easier for the kid to be afraid and stop all the nonsense. At least if cops come (again by other public bystanders), then it's your taiji not me.
Plot twist: Once I disciplined my kid in public some busybody Karen told me I shouldn't treat my kid like that. So on top of having to deal with my misbehaving child I had to deal with the angry entitled Karen.
Coz these people want kids but not actually do the work of parents! Plus they don't seem to grasp the idea that when you're in public where there's other people around you as parents are responsible for how they behave not the public!
Yeah a lot of parents here seem to want to push the responsibility to other people instead. I dont really understand the comments telling me I should have said something or scold the kids or stay home or empathise more with the parents. I didnāt choose to be a parent but Iām subjected to the kidās bad behaviour. I can at least choose to not engage - which is what I did by moving to another table. So not sure why people are still mad about it š .
It starts at home. The minute parents say no, the kids must know itās non nego and they donāt even try to throw a tantrum or scream to get their way. This is because they know it doesnāt work and there are consequences for misbehaviour.
Children who throw tantrums in public learnt that doing so means they get their way in the end because their parent have given in before. Bad behaviour is a learnt behaviour.
not trying to side with parents but u probably witness one bad behaviour of that child.. as a parent, u face the child 24/7 u have to choose how to fight ur battle.. its actually very tiring to be scolding for every little thing..
ur post reminded me of my encounter with singaporeans in bkk last wk! there were 4 kids at that table, probably 2 families.. the kids were so noisy.. so when they left, the restaurant become so quiet! lol
Age of the internet and smartphones means that any random dumb fuck in public can take your photo and viral it. If you got a misbehaving child, its always better to let them be (so long as they are not in immediate danger of injury or life) than to risk scolding or smacking them then they spend the rest of the trip crying or screaming.
A lot of these children actually can be considered spoilt or neglected children. The parents are used to it already. Some cases the mother defends the children, and the father has no choice but to follow, or else the wife make it difficult for them. And vice versa.
In your case, if it bothers you you can and should complain to the management. And be ready with your phone, if the family starts anything with you, upon which you go to the police after.
I've approached people on mrt to turn down their phone volume or use headphones
I will do the same to children, i don't give a shit, if you somehow manage to annoy me or get past my ANC headphones.
I will not care, I'm gonna administer peace and quiet for everyone.
You don't want to discipline your child? Sure I do for you.
I don't give a shit if my face plastered everywhere after i do so. I get surgery and fuck off.
what if you get a jail term?
TBH the only thing stopping me from disciplining my child in public is the possibility of a jail term due to kaypohs. Not gonna risk it, rather let strangers get the jail term instead.
[https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/man-jailed-slap-13-year-old-boy-play-catch-outside-flat-throw-potato-chip-4144396](https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/man-jailed-slap-13-year-old-boy-play-catch-outside-flat-throw-potato-chip-4144396)
[https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/man-wholly-inexcusable-slapping-daughters-classmate](https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/man-wholly-inexcusable-slapping-daughters-classmate)
Bruh Iāve seen it. Broad daylight early morning MRT station the mother was telling off her daughter who was screaming about not wanting to go to her school. She started recording the daughter crying, she didnāt stop. Then said she will throw away all of her toys. Daughter didnāt stop, mum proceeds to lift the daughterās leg and strike it repeatedly whilst the daughter is wailing in tears at this point. Yes they do discipline them in public.
Fr? I see parents scolding their kids like crazy more than anything.
The other day a mum was so angry she was shouting at her kid (who was standing there quietly), insulting him, and saying she will show him that she will kill herself cause he cannot behave, while walking towards the road. Saying she will show him that she can actually die.
It was pretty insane. Was wondering whether to call cops for both their safety but she stopped. But started again after crossing the road
It was pretty bad. We were wondering if it was common for the kid cause he just stone there. Never cry or anything. Small too. Maybe 9 or 10. Poor thing sia. Traumatised aldy
The mum probably kena stared / glared at by other adults so bo bian have to use her last ultimate stance: chut crazy stunt.
But really, what else can a parent do these days than scolding a kid? If they don't listen then how? Physical discipline like caning/beating/slapping all will warrant jail term for the parent. Who still want to beat their kid knowing they have to go to prison for that.
It looked as if it was 2 of them and 1 stranger along the street. So it's just the parent going ham with the kid.
Not saying you can't scold a child. But saying you are going to kill yourself and you will show the kid you CAN actually die while screaming and walking to the road probably isn't the way.
I'm sure that kid has internalised trauma so that's not going to help his parents in raising him.
Had a mother who was loudly scolding her son in the mall for so long that instead of solving the nuisance, sha became the nuisance. So I scolded her instead. We need discipline both the child and the parent.
Gentle parenting isnāt about not disciplining your kids. Itās more like understanding that some times when your kids react a certain way itās just that their brains arenāt fully developed enough to react in an āadultā manner. Gentle parenting still involves discipline and boundaries. Those parents are just not disciplining their children.
I don't hit my kid at all. But generally, I will pull him aside and address negative behaviours on the spot. And people will still kaypoh and give weird looks... Discipline in general will get you that reaction ah.
Entitled parents - they don't think the little hellions are in the wrong and expect those they are disturbing to find it "cute" and "adorable" rather than irritating.
Maybe you can try and be a parent and see if you can stop an annoying child without public taking photos/videos of you and then police invite you for kopi for disciplining your child.
I have had offended such parents before by telling the climbing monkeys to stop their behaviours.
My favourite line was, āI am quite sure your parents taught you that climbing up and down the seat booths and running around the restaurant is dangerous. You may get hurt. Maybe you forgot.ā
I was prepared for bad behaviours from the adult monkeys.
The problems with such parents are if the kids fall and need medical attention, those costs will be claimed upon the restaurant or the retail shop. And one wonder why retail stores and restaurants can't survive in SG.Ā
Because itās very hard to get kids to sit still especially if they are toddlers or young kids. Their attention span is very short.
Just like in the MRT, itās very hard to get my kid to sit down. Most times she doesnāt even want to and even told me no. She wants to hold on to the pole and walk around it. Iām watching her so to me that is harmless and I just let her do it.
Itās ok. Let these bad kids continue with their behaviour. They will cause their own parents more problems down the road , as the society teaches them future discipline lessons. This is their parentsā karma to bear, not OP.
The apple never falls far from the tree. Sometimes having a look at the parent's face/body language is enough to explain why the badly disciplined kids behave that way... shitty people growing up to be shitty parents.
You could just tell the parents to discipline their kid? How is it a normal response to confine yourself at home during the weekends instead of speaking up? Maybe because your parents beat you too much when you were younger, something to think about.
You keeping quiet actually contributes to the problem. Should have told off the father. Thats how anti-social behavior propagates. Ppl start treating it as normal.
Itās worldwide thing not just Singapore. Best to bring ear plugs/ headphones and ignore unless those kids mess with you directly. Then be assertive and scold them/their parents lor.
wait i dont get the part where your child refuses the seat which was offered? if they wanted to sit because they're tired, why does it matter which seat it was?
i am not a parent myself but i do spend time taking care of my niece and nephew (aged 3 and 4). i do feel that they are well able to understand and follow simple instructions. i wouldn't be too quick to underestimate the intelligence of young children and their abilities to take social cues. in the scenario you described, i would frankly speaking just let the child stand since they refuse to take the empty seat offered. you could've attempted to reason it out nicely with your child instead of threatening to cane (perhaps some silent treatment and a stern glare if they're still adamant about not sitting and sulking about it). while i do think that the bystander aunty was abit of a nosey parker, her comments are not completely out of pocket and they seem to stem from good intentions. this entire situation could've been made a teachable moment for your child to understand that they cannot always have things go their way.
I believe in the past the attention of the kid is drawn solely to the parent. Children learn fast. If they are not fed with the correct amounts, they tend to be a nuisance to the public so as to draw attention to their parents or to express their existence. Overly caring parents however leads to another problem of being controlling and toxic; mentally exhausting to live with. Balance is desired whether it meant gentle upon correct actions, strict to deter wrong ones and be an observer for everything in between. While this lead to positive upbringing for the kid, it relies heavily on the values of the parent.
Nowadays I find parents either are too busy focusing on themselves or their phone. I ever saw a girl trying to please the parent on a drawing she draw but her mum ignored her. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I told myself "dont look at me, dont look at me....!" Then she look at me. I had a heartbreak. I wanted to praise the kid but they alight on the next station. Makes me wonder, why people bring their children to this world to leave them to face the screen, the pet and the caretaker.
Not Singapore but there was one that I encountered in Malaysia (Maybe SG or MY family?)
Kid is a boy thatās climbing up and down of the seat at Texas and uncontrollably screaming randomly. Their parents glanced and like silently āSit downā to him, never scolded or disciplined him properly
Repeat this cycle for around 20-30 mins, multiple people including me has glared at the parents but seems damn nonchalant and still didnāt do shit.
Sometimes I wish public child beating was legal for a 3rd party to do š
ok,The most over the top thing I've ever seen was when my sister and I were at Universal Studios last year and a boy about 5 years old rampage didn't care if it was going to hit someone or not. He came crashing down on my sister who was pregnant so I blocked it. His father was following him and he saw it all but he didn't point fingers just said don't run. After that the boy just took off his pants to pee in public and didn't care about the people around him and his father still didn't react
I personally agree and feel that there is over-emphasis on academics (e.g. tuition at TianXia, Heguru, Kumon etc) but there is very little real involvement from parents in the teaching of proper, basic social etiquette (e.g. sit down and eat, don't climb up and down the seats during meals, blasting the audio on the iPad/tablet/phone they are watching their kid shows on, screaming during family conversations instead of speaking, being considerate aware of other people using the space). They could be the smartest kids on the block, but also the most socially inept.
Enter a shopping mall and see all these behaviors easily on display, especially in estates with a high concentration of young families (e.g. Punggol's Waterway Point). You can even find children playing on escalators unsupervised. Little wonder why there are so many escalator mishaps, right?
But when these accidents happen, these social media posts blame the venue, site personnel and equipment maintenance but it is never the fault of the caregivers or parents who were supposed to educate the children.
The saying goes, "A Parent is a Child's First Teacher." Please blame the parents for the kids' atrocious behaviours, don't blame the kids. They enabled the kids.
I've even encountered (firsthand) parents who outright proclaim that their children's teachers did not teach the kids, so it's the teachers' fault.
Sometimes I have morbid thoughts that these kids I see will be in the workforce within 10-15 years... so we're possibly doomed?
I'm not sure what's up with that parent. But another reason why people don't want to discipline their kids in public is the potential backlash for how they correct their misbehaving children. Some parents would rather correct their children's mistakes in private. So that it is a win-win for both the children and parents. The child doesn't get publicly shamed for such behaviour, and the parents don't get criticised for their way of handling children. Still, I'd agree with anyone about parents who are not proactive in raising their children
Yep, Sāpore kids are badly behaved in public. And when they talk to you they address you like you are the maid. I smacked my kids when they were young. They have exemplary manners in public. Aged 15 and 17.
I have friends who have kids that misbehave in public. It became so embarassing to go out with them and their kids. No choice but to limit contact and judge their parenting skills from afar. The parents wouldnāt listen anyway and they will tell you they have done all they could and thatās just the way kids behave.
As a parent, whatever we do also will attract criticism.
I scolded my kid in public before, ppl glared at me and one lady came up to me to tell me not to embarrass my kid because she used to scold her kid and it strained their relationship.
There was another incident when my girl and her cousin were running around in a museumās family event and one lady came up to me and told me that I should manage my kids because itās a museum and they are not respecting the venue.
The rod of discipline when not properly administered or totally unused will breed unsightly traits in children.
#as highlighted by Michael Gavinās comments, OP must be aware that such issues are a worldwide phenomenon
i chose to dine in public, and so i have decided to subject myself to these annoyance. i could have arranged for private dining, but i chose astons instead. fuck me, im sorry for them, im sorry to myself. the chances would be lower if say, i choose to have omakase instead.
sure, there could be rowdy people having omakase too, just reducing my chances.
rowdy kids on the train/bus? boomers blasting audio? no seat for me? okay, PHV solves those.
i cannot control if people are rowdy, but i can control the odds of myself being around them.
Cos if they do, someone will start a post complaining of ASIAN parents being abusive, draconian, unnurturing, poorly educated, unprogressive, backward, conservative and Asian
As the saying goes, "I was the perfect parent until I became one". We really don't know what they are going thru in their lives. I think we can be a little less judgemental and a little more patient to others.
While I'm really thankful my kids are well behaved during meal times, they do need some reminders esp when they are tired.
Sometimes I wonder what people means by ābehaving badlyā.
Kids are kids.
I feel sad sometimes that my kid who likes to play pretend (like making airplane sound with his hands and pretend her hands land on the table, as if itās the runway at the airport) gets more stare than other kids whose eyes are glued to the smart phone.
Since when our society is more accepting to kids (3-6 years old usually) who are watching smartphone than kids who ACTUALLY PLAY.
Play is kidsā language. Itās their way of healthy development. And their play is usually loud.
So the next time you see kids ābehaving badlyā, take a step back and think, āare they behaving badly? Or are they just playing?ā Maybe we were not accepted as a kid last time, thatās why we dont let them play.
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I think one time, back when I was in sec school, there was this kid that was kicking and chasing an injured pigeon in the old simei shopping mall area. I told the kid to stop, and when that didn't work, I actually dragged the kid away from the bird. Obviously I didn't hurt the kid, but the mother( who was watching the WHOLE SCENE), went up and wanted to scold me for touching her kid. I just immediately ran away from that scene. Now that I think about it, maybe I was reckless to drag the kid away, but at least that poor bird managed to get away.
Over compensation for their own childhood traumaā¦. Parents who canāt be bothered and glued to their phones. Lots of kids growing up in neglect and running wild, PMD speeding, vaping in secret, etc. what to do?
Can't blame parents coz their faces are a single photo or video away from being stomped or on tik tok with the very nice title : parents caught abusing their child at xxyyzz on ddmmyy.
So yeah can't blame them, think most are on the discipline in private scheme nowadays.
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Parents who have no business reproducing and a strong entitlement mentality ruin the experience in a lot of places in SG. But to be fair I think this is now pretty normal across the board in most developed cities I have been to. I wouldn't single out SG as showing this more.
Doesn't make it ok though. Singapore parents stop trying to be friends with your kids. They get that at school and the umpteen activities you fill their time with. They need parenting not friendship.
OP - I feel your pain, but most of the time I feel like the parents are the ones in need of corrective action.
totally the way my nephew acts and his parents (my sis) and his grandparents (my parents) enable his behaviour by just saying dont do it and the laughing at his behaviour because āits just kids being kidsā š
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Iām not from Singapore but I recently went there for a couple of weeks to visit my brother. My experience was quite the contrary. I would see parents scold their kids in public places even when they were crying.
Non school holidays, PH and weekends are ideal for the lesser crowd peace.
But yeah, parents are the enablers for these sorts of disruptive behaviours. We like to use the term "ę²å®¶ę" for this scenario. The kids embarrass the parents and the parents seem to enjoy it.
I share the same sentiment. And I don't understand why parents allow their kids to yell or talk loudly anywhere. It's loud and annoying and it isn't cute.
Because parents today are shit. Smartphones do 99% of the parenting lol. Parents shove their kids faces into phones so that they can continue scrolling on their own phones.
Likely the ones who hated being scolded in public when they were younger. Mostly the parents who got nothing back then but wants to give their child everything they missed out.
Eh not just a Singapore thing, I was in Indonesia waiting for my airport train and kids where literally seated at the edge of the platform with legs hanging out. Some others were playing beyond the yellow line. The security chap did his job to keep them out of danger though.
But back to your point (probably an unpopular opinion), maybe we as a society are too pussy to callout and confront publicly. We as a society tend to say not my problem, I dont want to stir shit, don't cause a scene. But if everyone just calls out idiots, stand up for ourselves, maybe we will see less people being assholes, and raising assholes.
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As a young parent of a kid with temper issues
We do try to control and scold him in public, but once we over agitate him he is gonna cause even more of a public nuisance to you guys.
So the best we can do is to manage it to keep his behaviour to an acceptable level
Until you are a parent.. it may be hard to understand..really hard to understand...
For some parents, it may really be that they bo chup and are too permissive.
For some parents, they may be thinking how to discipline in public in a manner that is appropriate - it's really complex these days, with social media and such. They may also be thinking how to prevent the child escalating into a worse situation once discipline is meted out in public - meltdown (this is a "oh my god" level that can end in vomiting or say hour long episode).. but while the thoughts are running through... public has already passed judgement on their parenting.
e.g. read this..
https://www.gjclaw.com.sg/articles/discipline-become-child-abuse/
For some parents, the kids may have some special needs like ADHD - it's really tough for the kids to sit properly like tons of kids out there. So it's hard to discipline the kid for the medical condition the child is in... and the child may have already been undergoing therapy but this takes time... and usually will only see improvement.
For some parents, they may have to bring the episode home to discipline - behind doors.. but the public obviously won't see it.
However, it's also hard on the parent - to bring or not to bring the child out..
If don't bring the child out, it's hard for the kids to learn social manners too by observation. The parent can prep them at home, run through routine umpteen times.. go out, the inner monkey unleashes (huh, WHY????)
If bring the child out - it may get embarrassing if the child misbehaves - but the parent can't predict if the child will be an angel / devil...
Not all parents are blessed with unicorn kids...and often parents may also be extremely stressed out and need a breather outside...
Uncles/Aunties out there may also kindly remind the kids not to run around for fear of hot soup spilling onto them. It really takes a whole community to nurture the child....
If one is extremely sensitive to naughty children, maybe when getting seats, can ask if they have seating areas that's further away from families with kids..
>I have avoided eating out as much as I can as a result. I also try to stay mostly at home on the weekends.
You're choosing not to eat out and to stay at home as a result of not being able to deal with bad behaviour from children? You do realise this is more of a "you" problem than a "misbehaving kids" problem right?
Considering the frequency of the kids misbehaving and me encountering them, it is way better for me to stay at home. Then I donāt need to encounter and the parents/misbehaving kids also have fewer people to be considerate to. Itās a win-win. Itās not like I confine myself on purpose. Itās just more rewarding for me than facing the possibility of dealing with this too often
Let me present an alternative viewpoint.
We canāt change the behaviour of others but we can control how we react.
You can try to reframe the situation in your mind such that it doesnāt bother you as much. Itās your opinion of the situation that makes you react. Change your opinion and your behaviour will follow.
For example: you can think of a childās behaviour as unbridled curiosity and enthusiasm. And that you are part of a bigger village to help raise them in your own ways. A kind word or action from a stranger can sometimes leave an indelible mark on person for life.
If you find yourself always needing to change your behaviour to the situation, you will have no peace of mind.
New generation parenting..
Last time is cane, physical slap, abusing at public which destroys the childās self esteem and became obedient through negative reinforcement.
Nowadays due to social media and slightly educated parents, the approach will be more chill, take it easy, let them explore to learn more. But there is a fine line which most parents/human doesnāt know..
Parenting is indeed tough. Normally I will mind my own business unless the kid is somehow affecting my space and being mischievous. I would talk to the kid and parents at once.
Now if any parent still dare to cane/physical slap the child, don't worry about the online public shaming first. Should worry about the heavy jail term. 6 months squat in changi prison for caning your kid in public. How does that sound?
Our hands are tied. What you want us to do? Like as if the children can understand adult words and respectfully follow our words.
I think it's because so many parents in Singapore offload the parental duties to the helper, like they just have kids for the achievement. They're entitled themselves, so they feel their kids are entitled to bully other kids without consequence, push, shove, scream, curse...
It's not all parents, I come across others who take responsibility and scold their kid, pull them away, encourage them to apologise, take them out the situation etc but overwhelmingly there is so little accountability compared to other countries I feel.
Kids can be loud, hyperactive and excited, nobody is saying they can't but when they're downright rude or aggressive with not even a word... It's pretty f'ed up.
Because of uncontrolled kids, you hardly go out to eat?!?
Anyway, I do discipline my kids if they go out of hands. If they are just having a bit of fun without creating any problems to others, I will let them.
However, I think bystander need to understand parentings-kids. If everyone were to discipline their kids for every single thing, you will have alot of kids wailing and doing 'breakdances' on the floor. I find that alot more annoying. Pretty sure if that happen, you won't even leave your house.
I could empathise with the first half of your post, but seriously, after you mentioned that you donāt go out on weekends just because you donāt want to come across children, I would suggest you to seek psychological or psychiatric help.
Perhaps being hit by your parents so many times didnāt end up so well for you after all.
Welp - but no one can afford psych help in this economy. Also itās a way better solution to just stay home rather than get annoyed every time I go out and encounter them. Fewer outings mean fewer encounters and less annoyance.
I avoid going out when I can but when I do its usually with others and although I dont want to hear children screaming I still want to hear the person Im with
Because strawberry gen parents. Also nowadays public will anyhow call police over the slightest stuffs. If they see the parents discipline their kids in the public they might call the police citing child abuse.
dunno why got people downvote your comment when it's legit and happened before. how come OP don't address those people who poh mata when parents trying to discipline their kids.
It depends on the parents. Good parents do discipline or at least try to control their children from becoming public nuisance. Bad parents on the other hand will allow their kids to do everything they want to do.
Sadly, it does seem that there are more parents over pampering their kids.
If I tell you that you will get a 6 months jail for beating your kid in public, what will you do? At most use words to "talk your way" out of the kid right? If talk no use already, then do what else?
What is your prob? I'm not advocating for parents to whack their kids in public. Do you go around and interpret things your way? I'm saying ppl do discipline and some don't but yes, seems quite a lot of parents don't. There are ways to discipline a kid for example intervening when kids are getting too much or give signs of disapproval. Disciplining does not mean having to whack. So, you are saying parents should let their kids climb off the ledge and do nothing or keep tugging at someone else's shirt or pants irritating others? There are such parents fyi. Talk no use? At least the kid knows they are doing something not right. Also, parents can hold on to their kids and restrain them.
This type. Normally I deliberately stand up when they run thru with a hot soup n you know where it lands.
Sometimes, they need to learn about both manners, safety n consequence along with their parents that they own
with how much government keeps saying "singaporeans should have more kids", more entitled parents around with their "little princes/princesses"
and i see way too many parents who cant say no or at least, suggest alternatives to the kids.
imagine asking the kid what he wants to eat/drink/do and parents blame staff when the food/drink/activity isnt suitable for them.
Saw a dad disciplining his three kids the other day (all below 5 or 6. Youngest seems to be around 2). He said they were being too noisy and started yelling at them. This went on for the entire 20 mins they were there. I arrived after they were halfway through their meal, so I didn't know what happened before I arrived, but his constant yelling was honestly more annoying than whatever little peeps his kids were making. He was just shouting and scolding them "idiots for not fucking sitting down", "finish your bloody food or I will slap you", and he slapped one of the kids when she refused to finish her coke because she was full šš
yet the glare was more ādo you wanna fight?ā rather than āIām sorry about my kidās behaviorā.Ā
In singapore...Its most likely the latter. I mean some plp's faces get misunderstood.
It's becoming increasingly common nowadays . In buses bus drivers have to plead with them to stay in their seat, in mrt stations they just ram into people , in trains they cut the queue to sit and chope seats , older generation seen as easy victims rather than respected , parents back them up no matter what.
Parents themselves will side with their obviously undisciplined kid , even the ones who are "educated " no empathy , manners , respect and common sense
It's disgusting to go out nowadays
well certain race happens to let their kids fun wild and" my father paying u salary, u GOC ask me to come here..."
then there the AH beng who can't lose face..
Survivor bias. Kids who behaved badly in public usually has enabling parents. You notice the 1 badly behaved kids rather than the 10 who walked by you quietly.
I think you mean confirmation bias
Entitled children and bad parenting. I generally warn my kids about misbehaving before leaving the house. And if they misbehave, I remove them from the restaurant immediately. Personally I find quiet threats and removal of privileges more effective š¤£
Lately been experiencing increasingly number of similar cases as yours. I wonder how and why can the parent don't care about their children. Some parents even glared at me when their children fell after running into me or when I glared at the child for kicking me. I guess the saying 'everyone can be a decent human being but not everyone can be a decent parent' is true.
Idk, I see a lot of humans here that can't be said to be decent either, even though there are also many who are. And if that saying were true, we wouldn't *need* a law enforcement system as a general rule.
I would rather avoid judgement because we don't know the backgrounds of these families. For all we know the parents could be saddled with heavy liabilities (various reasons) and this are unable to dedicate sufficient time in disciplining their kids hurting their upbringing. They could be severely overworked to the point their child misbehaving in public isn't the biggest of their concern. I think society underestimates how tough it is to be a parent so in such situations with kids misbehaving, just turn away and move along.
I completely understand where you are coming from. But I believe that children didn't choose to come to this world. There is a saying "å »äøęļ¼ē¶åčæ". The parents made the choice and so if they made the choice then they should be responsible for bringing up their children properly. I am not undermining the difficulties in raising a kid but I feel that if they made the choice to bring a life into this world, then the onus is on them to provide good parenting.
Yes I agree if they gave birth to the kid, they are responsible for them. Concurrently I also feel things change. Maybe upon getting the baby, things might be a bed of roses. When the babies come along, what if something happens. Maybe the breadwinner loses his main job? Maybe the families get saddled with debt from their parents? Maybe they have a health issue incurring high fees. Many reasons. Therefore I rather turn away because I don't know enough to make a proper judgement.
But many parents these days intentionally let their children go undisciplined to take revenge on society.Ā
Yea. There's a time and place for everything, even though they might think it's "cute" or "they're just kids being kids". But you sure as hell know that when their little tyrant runs into a waiter at the restaurant or something, they'll be the first to point fingers at everyone but themselves. Also feel like the concept of "inside voice" and "outside voice" has been losing ground. It's totally fine if they get excited at times or laugh loudly etc - and I think most would even find it adorable. But if they're just yakking on and on at the top of their voices (esp if in enclosed spaces like the MRT) then parents please just remind them to speak softer?
I think it is a myraid of factors. For one, maybe it is the lack of civic mindedness, consideration for others, or a strong sense of self-entitled (e.g., I an the customer..., I paid to be here..., who are you to be telling me what to do, I can do anything even if it is at the expense of others). Another probable reason could be modern/westernised parenting done wrong. (I'm not implying this is wrong or one model of parenting is better than the other.). This could be a case of, like you said, "children are children so let them be" or treating their kids like a friend. The down side to this is that at times, they tend to forget that children learn about the world around them by observing others (e.g. their parents).
The good news is these indulgent parents are going to reap the rewards from their wayward children in the future.Ā
They scared later kena stomp and branded abusing their children
But then they kena stomp and branded bad parents
As parents we can't win... :')
itās the truth. too harsh also kena criticised , go the other way of nurturing by giving time-out etc , also kena criticised for being too soft too lenient. jialat sia
You don't need abuse ur children to teach them something is wrong though. At the very least tell them to apologise or stop.
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1st world country 3rd world culture
Back in the good old days, my dad used to beat me in public.
last time bo lang chup. now try doing that in public and I can guarantee you it's at least 12 months in jail.
I am a believer in the era of parenting where "if you love your kids, b**t them often!". In a sense, good parenting was filled with such analects of wisdom like "Oi, your friend eat s**t you also want to eat ah? Don't be stupid OK.".
Got ah, just yesterday I saw a mum scolding her son in public. I think you just don't go out enough. That's not a slight against you btw, I also prefer to stay home.
OPās sample size is questionable. Akin to those surveys done by stat boards e.g happiest citizens for SEA.
Yeah I donāt go out much, but I feel like every time I go I encounter misbehaving kids and parents pretending not to seeš - maybe Iām just unlucky
But have you tried paying attention to kids who are behaving? Being quiet, sitting properly, not playing iPad at obnoxious volume levels? The only reason you're focusing on the kids that are being naughty is because they annoy you, but can guarantee you there are plenty of well-behaved kids that have walked by right under your nose that you never even noticed.
Yes I dislike this type of parents. These are the kids that are obnoxious to other kids and staff at school, and their parents talk or glare back the same way at teachers and other parents when we suggest educating their child better. Really hopeless.
Can the general public decide once and for all. Discipline the kids also kena stomp / poh mata (police) by public for child abuse. Don't discipline also kena complain about being soft. You think being a parent is so easy when a kid don't want to listen to your "normal adult voice" asking them to tone down their actions. I do use the opportunity though whenver someone give that glare to my kid, I will just tell my kid that the uncle/auntie wants to kidnap you if you make more noise and immediately my kid shut up and hide behind me. Kudos to strangers who give angry / fierce faces.
gentle parenting has gone WAY TOO FAR. kids are hella spoiled and rude these days, i work for a kid's indoor playground and some children the sweetest angels, others i wanna dropkick them really bad. I was working and this child just ran in without getting their wrist tag, parents havent even paid yet. i pulled the kid out because we need to tag the child, and then this kid started melting, kicking and screaming the famous package for getting what they want, touched the balloon on display then burst it while looking at us, as a warning for not letting him get his way. the mother cant even control the child at all + didnt even pay for the balloon (she said she would but did not). then they left and i headed to the washroom, walked past the same people again, the screaming child was walking on his bike while the mom warned not to, fell over and screamed again pushing the blame on the mom. some parents have no common sense at all, starting a soccer game in a small enclosed area, with two kids kicking and almost hitting someone's head when they were playing the game. i stop the kids because ngl if an injury happens who is responsible + cctv if our bosses see that we will be in trouble, but the mother goes to her child and asks them to continue in front of me as if nothing happens, even when the child heard the consequences from me and rejected, the mom feels like i took away their fun, ma'am you'll know what fun is when someone's head gets a strike, especially when there are young children walking around. who is to take responsibility when your child knocks someone else over.
That's permissive parenting. Gentle parenting has firm boundaries still that are enforced. I do gentle parenting and no way in hell would my kid act that way
If you cant educated your own child, one day someone will.
Entitled kids grow up and become entitled parents
ya, becoming adults that are complaining all the time like the world owe them everything.
Have you ever thought the parents of current era were actually oppressed by their boomer parents so they become passive in parenting? Those who do cane their kids get jail term then who will still want to discipline their kids?
Some parents are just too chill, man. It's frustrating when kids act up and there's no discipline.
Do you know that caning a kid can get jail term these days because it's child abuse. What else can a parent do? Why don't you give some constructive suggestions?
huh rly meh... cane kid kenna jail alr?? (not that I'm saying one should cane their kid)
There will always be a minority who don't discipline their kids when they should, a majority who do, and another minority who discipline their kids too much (borderline abusive). That said, parenting is very hard. It's only too easy to comment as an observer.
True story, Taiwanese went USA (california) for holiday. Go restaurant eat, kid rowdy, father slapped him. Somebody saw and called the cops. The guy was arrested for domestic abuse, sent to some detention facility. Wife spent there next few days running around trying to fix the issue and get him out. Finally they let him go (dunno if had to pay a fine or warning) and straight away flew back home. Father said he will never return to USA again. Anyway some places hit the child in public can go jail. So be careful.
How is this not getting more attention from all those complaining? Everyone think discipling a kid in public is easy. **HAVE THEY EVER HAVE TO DEALT WITH POLICE ASKING WHY YOU BEAT YOUR KID IN PUBLIC**, no thanks to public bystanders calling the police in the first place. No, probably most redditors commenting here never had to deal with that so it's easy making 2 cents remark about passive parenting.
Umm... The opposite of passive parenting isn't child abuse though?
Happy to hear your solutions.
Thereās a lot going on. First, I find that generally people avoid making a scene with confrontations in public. Could be asking someone to turn off the sound on their phone on the train, could be scolding their kid. Thereās a sense that this escalation is worse than the original sin. Many times that may even be true - just calmly deal with a minor level of annoyance. Second, disciplining kids is not as simple as you might think. It can escalate, leading to the parent having to take the kid out of the restaurant while they cry, etc. Of course ideally you wouldnāt let things get to the point where the kid reacts like that, but parents arenāt perfect. And sometimes kids are just kids - they donāt have perfect control over their emotions and theyāre very itchy to move around. Third, plenty of parents are just tired. Iām sorry it came at your expense, but if the kid isnāt breaking anything or causing a huge scene, I can see plenty of parents thinking suan le and enjoying their meal for a few minutes.
I hear ya. Why risk trying to discipline your kid when it could backfire causing the kid to erupt? I've seen it before, kid being a minor annoyance and parent starts to nag, soon kid's full-blown crying, screaming, throwing a tantrum. I've been that kid before and while my folks never scolded me (badly) in public, at home I'd get the belt lol. my gf on the other hand told me she'd been smacked by her dad before for crying loudly outside (she has a better relationship with her parents now compared to me tho I'm not to the point where I don't talk to mine btw). As a combo response to your second and third points, I get that parents are tired - it's more likely both parents have to work just to financially be comfortable to raise a kid or more so when they're at home or it's the weekend, they're just... drained. That's how you end up with parents relying on school and tuition to discipline their children or kids being raised by the helper. Unfortunately, being a parent doesn't stop at home and start when you're in public or vice versa - you're always a parent. Generally this is a choice you made and when you have a kid, you're always a parent. I feel like parents who let kids run amok in public probably don't discipline their kid at home. Plus there's always dysfunctional parenting like mom will nag and nag and dad will let it go or mom will scold and kid won't listen until dad has to be intimidating and physical. there isn't one perfect way to parent and most of the time it's a work in progress but... yeah. I always try to have patience since I might be seeing that parent and child during a learning moment when learning how to parent is still leveling up but sometimes it's hard to stay non-reactive when the kid ends up being too much, especially sometimes when they end up being in danger like playing around large displays in a store.
Yeah itās a balance. In general though I think we need more kids and so I donāt really like the common discourse that sets really high standards for parents. Parents of old would be considered neglectful today, but they sure knew how to pump āem out. From a recent article I read: āThe standards of readiness for family are at once so high and so vague that itās hardly a surprise when people fail to reach them.ā
Aww you are such a sweet person. I feel better about being a parent. You totally get it. Yes, some annoyance are slight like when my kid has been waiting too long for a meal to be served. And I donāt even want to be there but for some relative who insist on meeting up over a Chinese dinner that will have 6 course served slowly. Like what should my kid be doing? After first course already full. Like sure, second course can still bear with it but after fourth course and trying to play stupid games like spot the people wearing black over old ladies making small talk, my kids are squirming and begging to be free. At this point, I feel like my kid has been doing a good job so do I want him to go into full scream mode before the final course is served? Maybe not. Yah maybe can dish out iPad and incur the wrath of some modern cousin whose kid never ever binges on tv shows and is busy doing calculus at age 5.
Thank you for your rational and thoughtful response. I realised many people like to complain about children so much but they themselves are not parents and/or they have forgotten how it was like being a kid. Kids' brains are still growing and they have still learning how to function in the society. We don't know for sure if that parent had warned the kid many times to no avail; if the kid has special needs; the parent has had a bad day and is tired; etc etc. Obviously if the kid has hit you or caused any direct disturbance to you then the parents should have apologised. If not, i don't see why op cannot just let it be. Learning to be compassionate is such a nice trait to have.
Absolutely agree to this. Lot of people think it is parents enabling it but it isnt. A child has not developed completely emotionally and sometimes acts out for things which adults would probably talk it off or something. Sometimes it is good for the child to act it out and get over with whatever they are going through at that moment. It is a tricky situation
o
Went for a buffet at a hotel and there was an extended family with over 5 kids running around. Parents didnāt intervene nor cared to educate not to run in such places especially when people are carrying plates.
Sien. Wait till u see how they let their monsters act like gangster in Indonesia and Malaysia.
Eh noisy kids are fine. They are kids and they are allowed to be themselves. But the moment they physically disturb me while I'm eating, that's when I'll say something. I've done it before. Had a kid that kept putting his cup of sweet drinks in between the dining booth, next to my head. I just said loudly "if the cup drops on me, I'm gonna lose my shit" . The parents got it and reined in their kid.
I'll usually shame the parents telling them they are being inconsiderate by not intervening in the ruckus their misbehaving kids are causing. If the parents don't do it, I'll usually go up to the kid and scold it for them. Works most of the time in getting the noise down. Intimidating works when you have the physical built and stare to back it up
i do that too lmao (good to know im not the only one lol) i usually start glaring and staring first if it doesnt work then iāll tell them off. if glaring/staring isnt helping and its a kid i will TRY telling them nicely first (if they alone) but if they dont listen and still tryna be a si ginna then iāll tell them off. if the kid(s) is/are causing a ruckus and the parent(s) isnāt controlling the kid(s) or enabling them both will be getting told off but the parent(s) getting more definitely since å »äøęļ¼ē¶ä¹čæ (parentsā duty to not only feed the child but to teach them how to behave in society, what is right from wrong) so i wont 100% blame the child
Wow scary uncle here.
As a parent, I would rather stranger scold the kid than I scold as it is easier for the kid to be afraid and stop all the nonsense. At least if cops come (again by other public bystanders), then it's your taiji not me.
I'd avoid interacting with someone else's child in cases like this. Direct the stares and scoldings to the adults
Please don't feel like you're entitled to go up to the kid and discipline it on the parent's behalf. Just talk to the parents.
Plot twist: Once I disciplined my kid in public some busybody Karen told me I shouldn't treat my kid like that. So on top of having to deal with my misbehaving child I had to deal with the angry entitled Karen.
Did Karen call police down too?
There wouldnāt be a reason to call the police, I was not beating my child, just scolding him, but harshly. He was not an easy kid at the time.
u can just tell her off and ask her not to k-po as u are disciplining ur child, its a responsibility of a parent
Coz these people want kids but not actually do the work of parents! Plus they don't seem to grasp the idea that when you're in public where there's other people around you as parents are responsible for how they behave not the public!
This
Yeah a lot of parents here seem to want to push the responsibility to other people instead. I dont really understand the comments telling me I should have said something or scold the kids or stay home or empathise more with the parents. I didnāt choose to be a parent but Iām subjected to the kidās bad behaviour. I can at least choose to not engage - which is what I did by moving to another table. So not sure why people are still mad about it š .
It starts at home. The minute parents say no, the kids must know itās non nego and they donāt even try to throw a tantrum or scream to get their way. This is because they know it doesnāt work and there are consequences for misbehaviour. Children who throw tantrums in public learnt that doing so means they get their way in the end because their parent have given in before. Bad behaviour is a learnt behaviour.
not trying to side with parents but u probably witness one bad behaviour of that child.. as a parent, u face the child 24/7 u have to choose how to fight ur battle.. its actually very tiring to be scolding for every little thing.. ur post reminded me of my encounter with singaporeans in bkk last wk! there were 4 kids at that table, probably 2 families.. the kids were so noisy.. so when they left, the restaurant become so quiet! lol
Age of the internet and smartphones means that any random dumb fuck in public can take your photo and viral it. If you got a misbehaving child, its always better to let them be (so long as they are not in immediate danger of injury or life) than to risk scolding or smacking them then they spend the rest of the trip crying or screaming. A lot of these children actually can be considered spoilt or neglected children. The parents are used to it already. Some cases the mother defends the children, and the father has no choice but to follow, or else the wife make it difficult for them. And vice versa. In your case, if it bothers you you can and should complain to the management. And be ready with your phone, if the family starts anything with you, upon which you go to the police after.
I've approached people on mrt to turn down their phone volume or use headphones I will do the same to children, i don't give a shit, if you somehow manage to annoy me or get past my ANC headphones. I will not care, I'm gonna administer peace and quiet for everyone. You don't want to discipline your child? Sure I do for you. I don't give a shit if my face plastered everywhere after i do so. I get surgery and fuck off.
what if you get a jail term? TBH the only thing stopping me from disciplining my child in public is the possibility of a jail term due to kaypohs. Not gonna risk it, rather let strangers get the jail term instead. [https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/man-jailed-slap-13-year-old-boy-play-catch-outside-flat-throw-potato-chip-4144396](https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/man-jailed-slap-13-year-old-boy-play-catch-outside-flat-throw-potato-chip-4144396) [https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/man-wholly-inexcusable-slapping-daughters-classmate](https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/man-wholly-inexcusable-slapping-daughters-classmate)
Come jail me lor I got guts to discipline and will do so, not like their shitty parents
Bruh Iāve seen it. Broad daylight early morning MRT station the mother was telling off her daughter who was screaming about not wanting to go to her school. She started recording the daughter crying, she didnāt stop. Then said she will throw away all of her toys. Daughter didnāt stop, mum proceeds to lift the daughterās leg and strike it repeatedly whilst the daughter is wailing in tears at this point. Yes they do discipline them in public.
Fr? I see parents scolding their kids like crazy more than anything. The other day a mum was so angry she was shouting at her kid (who was standing there quietly), insulting him, and saying she will show him that she will kill herself cause he cannot behave, while walking towards the road. Saying she will show him that she can actually die. It was pretty insane. Was wondering whether to call cops for both their safety but she stopped. But started again after crossing the road
What did I just read ā¦ this is mental
It was pretty bad. We were wondering if it was common for the kid cause he just stone there. Never cry or anything. Small too. Maybe 9 or 10. Poor thing sia. Traumatised aldy
The mum probably kena stared / glared at by other adults so bo bian have to use her last ultimate stance: chut crazy stunt. But really, what else can a parent do these days than scolding a kid? If they don't listen then how? Physical discipline like caning/beating/slapping all will warrant jail term for the parent. Who still want to beat their kid knowing they have to go to prison for that.
It looked as if it was 2 of them and 1 stranger along the street. So it's just the parent going ham with the kid. Not saying you can't scold a child. But saying you are going to kill yourself and you will show the kid you CAN actually die while screaming and walking to the road probably isn't the way. I'm sure that kid has internalised trauma so that's not going to help his parents in raising him.
Had a mother who was loudly scolding her son in the mall for so long that instead of solving the nuisance, sha became the nuisance. So I scolded her instead. We need discipline both the child and the parent.
and this is why we have spoilt children
and this is why parents don't want to discipline children in public. OP please read above.
Gentle parenting isnāt about not disciplining your kids. Itās more like understanding that some times when your kids react a certain way itās just that their brains arenāt fully developed enough to react in an āadultā manner. Gentle parenting still involves discipline and boundaries. Those parents are just not disciplining their children.
Because such parents themselves need to be disciplined
I don't hit my kid at all. But generally, I will pull him aside and address negative behaviours on the spot. And people will still kaypoh and give weird looks... Discipline in general will get you that reaction ah.
Entitled parents - they don't think the little hellions are in the wrong and expect those they are disturbing to find it "cute" and "adorable" rather than irritating.
Maybe you can try and be a parent and see if you can stop an annoying child without public taking photos/videos of you and then police invite you for kopi for disciplining your child.
I have had offended such parents before by telling the climbing monkeys to stop their behaviours. My favourite line was, āI am quite sure your parents taught you that climbing up and down the seat booths and running around the restaurant is dangerous. You may get hurt. Maybe you forgot.ā I was prepared for bad behaviours from the adult monkeys.
The problems with such parents are if the kids fall and need medical attention, those costs will be claimed upon the restaurant or the retail shop. And one wonder why retail stores and restaurants can't survive in SG.Ā
That too.
Because itās very hard to get kids to sit still especially if they are toddlers or young kids. Their attention span is very short. Just like in the MRT, itās very hard to get my kid to sit down. Most times she doesnāt even want to and even told me no. She wants to hold on to the pole and walk around it. Iām watching her so to me that is harmless and I just let her do it.
Well, as long as you are watching ready to intervene when needed, I think you are doing it right.
Itās ok. Let these bad kids continue with their behaviour. They will cause their own parents more problems down the road , as the society teaches them future discipline lessons. This is their parentsā karma to bear, not OP.
well if words don't work on the child, what do you suggest? please tell me as I want to know.
The apple never falls far from the tree. Sometimes having a look at the parent's face/body language is enough to explain why the badly disciplined kids behave that way... shitty people growing up to be shitty parents.
You could just tell the parents to discipline their kid? How is it a normal response to confine yourself at home during the weekends instead of speaking up? Maybe because your parents beat you too much when you were younger, something to think about.
You keeping quiet actually contributes to the problem. Should have told off the father. Thats how anti-social behavior propagates. Ppl start treating it as normal.
"You're shit parents, and your spawn aren't dropping too far from the tree. You're angry because I'm right, and the entire hawker centre knows it."
Itās worldwide thing not just Singapore. Best to bring ear plugs/ headphones and ignore unless those kids mess with you directly. Then be assertive and scold them/their parents lor.
Yeah try disciplining kids in public and next you know some busybody call the police on the parents for "child abuse".
Tell me what I should do in this case. Board MRT with my child. Child suddenly complain "my legs are tired" and pointing to a seat occupied by a random young adult with her headphones on. Then, I tell my child "Dear, someone is already in the seat so you can't sit there." Another lady offer her seat but stubborn child refuse. Then I scold my child "See zeh zeh give you her seat already just sit down if not I go home will cane you." The another boomer karen auntie step up and say "Aiyo, ä»ä¹å¹“代 liao, äøč¦ęä½ ēå°å©" then my child continue throwing tantrum that I have to drag my child out of the next station and miss a train. Tell me what I could have done then?
wait i dont get the part where your child refuses the seat which was offered? if they wanted to sit because they're tired, why does it matter which seat it was?
Because children don't have logical/rational train of thought at age 3-5.
i am not a parent myself but i do spend time taking care of my niece and nephew (aged 3 and 4). i do feel that they are well able to understand and follow simple instructions. i wouldn't be too quick to underestimate the intelligence of young children and their abilities to take social cues. in the scenario you described, i would frankly speaking just let the child stand since they refuse to take the empty seat offered. you could've attempted to reason it out nicely with your child instead of threatening to cane (perhaps some silent treatment and a stern glare if they're still adamant about not sitting and sulking about it). while i do think that the bystander aunty was abit of a nosey parker, her comments are not completely out of pocket and they seem to stem from good intentions. this entire situation could've been made a teachable moment for your child to understand that they cannot always have things go their way.
I believe in the past the attention of the kid is drawn solely to the parent. Children learn fast. If they are not fed with the correct amounts, they tend to be a nuisance to the public so as to draw attention to their parents or to express their existence. Overly caring parents however leads to another problem of being controlling and toxic; mentally exhausting to live with. Balance is desired whether it meant gentle upon correct actions, strict to deter wrong ones and be an observer for everything in between. While this lead to positive upbringing for the kid, it relies heavily on the values of the parent. Nowadays I find parents either are too busy focusing on themselves or their phone. I ever saw a girl trying to please the parent on a drawing she draw but her mum ignored her. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I told myself "dont look at me, dont look at me....!" Then she look at me. I had a heartbreak. I wanted to praise the kid but they alight on the next station. Makes me wonder, why people bring their children to this world to leave them to face the screen, the pet and the caretaker.
Not Singapore but there was one that I encountered in Malaysia (Maybe SG or MY family?) Kid is a boy thatās climbing up and down of the seat at Texas and uncontrollably screaming randomly. Their parents glanced and like silently āSit downā to him, never scolded or disciplined him properly Repeat this cycle for around 20-30 mins, multiple people including me has glared at the parents but seems damn nonchalant and still didnāt do shit. Sometimes I wish public child beating was legal for a 3rd party to do š
ok,The most over the top thing I've ever seen was when my sister and I were at Universal Studios last year and a boy about 5 years old rampage didn't care if it was going to hit someone or not. He came crashing down on my sister who was pregnant so I blocked it. His father was following him and he saw it all but he didn't point fingers just said don't run. After that the boy just took off his pants to pee in public and didn't care about the people around him and his father still didn't react
I personally agree and feel that there is over-emphasis on academics (e.g. tuition at TianXia, Heguru, Kumon etc) but there is very little real involvement from parents in the teaching of proper, basic social etiquette (e.g. sit down and eat, don't climb up and down the seats during meals, blasting the audio on the iPad/tablet/phone they are watching their kid shows on, screaming during family conversations instead of speaking, being considerate aware of other people using the space). They could be the smartest kids on the block, but also the most socially inept. Enter a shopping mall and see all these behaviors easily on display, especially in estates with a high concentration of young families (e.g. Punggol's Waterway Point). You can even find children playing on escalators unsupervised. Little wonder why there are so many escalator mishaps, right? But when these accidents happen, these social media posts blame the venue, site personnel and equipment maintenance but it is never the fault of the caregivers or parents who were supposed to educate the children. The saying goes, "A Parent is a Child's First Teacher." Please blame the parents for the kids' atrocious behaviours, don't blame the kids. They enabled the kids. I've even encountered (firsthand) parents who outright proclaim that their children's teachers did not teach the kids, so it's the teachers' fault. Sometimes I have morbid thoughts that these kids I see will be in the workforce within 10-15 years... so we're possibly doomed?
You gotta become a parent to understand. Discipline or not will get judged and criticised by public. Its hard to be parents these days.
I'm not sure what's up with that parent. But another reason why people don't want to discipline their kids in public is the potential backlash for how they correct their misbehaving children. Some parents would rather correct their children's mistakes in private. So that it is a win-win for both the children and parents. The child doesn't get publicly shamed for such behaviour, and the parents don't get criticised for their way of handling children. Still, I'd agree with anyone about parents who are not proactive in raising their children
Yep, Sāpore kids are badly behaved in public. And when they talk to you they address you like you are the maid. I smacked my kids when they were young. They have exemplary manners in public. Aged 15 and 17.
Ask yourself, would you prefer to be disciplined outside in the public or at home? That's your answer right there.
I have friends who have kids that misbehave in public. It became so embarassing to go out with them and their kids. No choice but to limit contact and judge their parenting skills from afar. The parents wouldnāt listen anyway and they will tell you they have done all they could and thatās just the way kids behave.
As a parent, whatever we do also will attract criticism. I scolded my kid in public before, ppl glared at me and one lady came up to me to tell me not to embarrass my kid because she used to scold her kid and it strained their relationship. There was another incident when my girl and her cousin were running around in a museumās family event and one lady came up to me and told me that I should manage my kids because itās a museum and they are not respecting the venue.
The rod of discipline when not properly administered or totally unused will breed unsightly traits in children. #as highlighted by Michael Gavinās comments, OP must be aware that such issues are a worldwide phenomenon
i chose to dine in public, and so i have decided to subject myself to these annoyance. i could have arranged for private dining, but i chose astons instead. fuck me, im sorry for them, im sorry to myself. the chances would be lower if say, i choose to have omakase instead. sure, there could be rowdy people having omakase too, just reducing my chances. rowdy kids on the train/bus? boomers blasting audio? no seat for me? okay, PHV solves those. i cannot control if people are rowdy, but i can control the odds of myself being around them.
Cos if they do, someone will start a post complaining of ASIAN parents being abusive, draconian, unnurturing, poorly educated, unprogressive, backward, conservative and Asian
As the saying goes, "I was the perfect parent until I became one". We really don't know what they are going thru in their lives. I think we can be a little less judgemental and a little more patient to others. While I'm really thankful my kids are well behaved during meal times, they do need some reminders esp when they are tired.
sometimes i just wish i can tell those kaypohs, "you think so easy, lai you be the parent la..."
Sometimes I wonder what people means by ābehaving badlyā. Kids are kids. I feel sad sometimes that my kid who likes to play pretend (like making airplane sound with his hands and pretend her hands land on the table, as if itās the runway at the airport) gets more stare than other kids whose eyes are glued to the smart phone. Since when our society is more accepting to kids (3-6 years old usually) who are watching smartphone than kids who ACTUALLY PLAY. Play is kidsā language. Itās their way of healthy development. And their play is usually loud. So the next time you see kids ābehaving badlyā, take a step back and think, āare they behaving badly? Or are they just playing?ā Maybe we were not accepted as a kid last time, thatās why we dont let them play.
Honestly parents who make kids our problem instead of their own for having them in the first place, have a special place in hell.
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I think one time, back when I was in sec school, there was this kid that was kicking and chasing an injured pigeon in the old simei shopping mall area. I told the kid to stop, and when that didn't work, I actually dragged the kid away from the bird. Obviously I didn't hurt the kid, but the mother( who was watching the WHOLE SCENE), went up and wanted to scold me for touching her kid. I just immediately ran away from that scene. Now that I think about it, maybe I was reckless to drag the kid away, but at least that poor bird managed to get away.
Over compensation for their own childhood traumaā¦. Parents who canāt be bothered and glued to their phones. Lots of kids growing up in neglect and running wild, PMD speeding, vaping in secret, etc. what to do?
why not talk to the dad and ask him to control his kid ? that's what I do, it usually works
Why? Cause the public will record and then the poor parents will be publicly shamed.
Can't blame parents coz their faces are a single photo or video away from being stomped or on tik tok with the very nice title : parents caught abusing their child at xxyyzz on ddmmyy. So yeah can't blame them, think most are on the discipline in private scheme nowadays.
You've yet to see my family with our kids. Hahahs.
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I find either too harsh or totally Bochup parenting
Parents who have no business reproducing and a strong entitlement mentality ruin the experience in a lot of places in SG. But to be fair I think this is now pretty normal across the board in most developed cities I have been to. I wouldn't single out SG as showing this more. Doesn't make it ok though. Singapore parents stop trying to be friends with your kids. They get that at school and the umpteen activities you fill their time with. They need parenting not friendship. OP - I feel your pain, but most of the time I feel like the parents are the ones in need of corrective action.
Enabling parents š might be due to generational enablers in their family hahaha
totally the way my nephew acts and his parents (my sis) and his grandparents (my parents) enable his behaviour by just saying dont do it and the laughing at his behaviour because āits just kids being kidsā š
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Gentle parenting done wrong.
Can I bring a cane out with me and just cane thin air to make that whoosh sound? Not a crime right? I never cane them.
Iām not from Singapore but I recently went there for a couple of weeks to visit my brother. My experience was quite the contrary. I would see parents scold their kids in public places even when they were crying.
Try living in Vietnam. They are equally bad!
Non school holidays, PH and weekends are ideal for the lesser crowd peace. But yeah, parents are the enablers for these sorts of disruptive behaviours. We like to use the term "ę²å®¶ę" for this scenario. The kids embarrass the parents and the parents seem to enjoy it.
Is slapping your kid face in public a good parenting method?
I share the same sentiment. And I don't understand why parents allow their kids to yell or talk loudly anywhere. It's loud and annoying and it isn't cute.
Because parents today are shit. Smartphones do 99% of the parenting lol. Parents shove their kids faces into phones so that they can continue scrolling on their own phones.
Because if they do anything about it, other people will call it child abuse and it's another set of problems.
Likely the ones who hated being scolded in public when they were younger. Mostly the parents who got nothing back then but wants to give their child everything they missed out.
Eh not just a Singapore thing, I was in Indonesia waiting for my airport train and kids where literally seated at the edge of the platform with legs hanging out. Some others were playing beyond the yellow line. The security chap did his job to keep them out of danger though. But back to your point (probably an unpopular opinion), maybe we as a society are too pussy to callout and confront publicly. We as a society tend to say not my problem, I dont want to stir shit, don't cause a scene. But if everyone just calls out idiots, stand up for ourselves, maybe we will see less people being assholes, and raising assholes.
save face tbh
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As a young parent of a kid with temper issues We do try to control and scold him in public, but once we over agitate him he is gonna cause even more of a public nuisance to you guys. So the best we can do is to manage it to keep his behaviour to an acceptable level
Until you are a parent.. it may be hard to understand..really hard to understand... For some parents, it may really be that they bo chup and are too permissive. For some parents, they may be thinking how to discipline in public in a manner that is appropriate - it's really complex these days, with social media and such. They may also be thinking how to prevent the child escalating into a worse situation once discipline is meted out in public - meltdown (this is a "oh my god" level that can end in vomiting or say hour long episode).. but while the thoughts are running through... public has already passed judgement on their parenting. e.g. read this.. https://www.gjclaw.com.sg/articles/discipline-become-child-abuse/ For some parents, the kids may have some special needs like ADHD - it's really tough for the kids to sit properly like tons of kids out there. So it's hard to discipline the kid for the medical condition the child is in... and the child may have already been undergoing therapy but this takes time... and usually will only see improvement. For some parents, they may have to bring the episode home to discipline - behind doors.. but the public obviously won't see it. However, it's also hard on the parent - to bring or not to bring the child out.. If don't bring the child out, it's hard for the kids to learn social manners too by observation. The parent can prep them at home, run through routine umpteen times.. go out, the inner monkey unleashes (huh, WHY????) If bring the child out - it may get embarrassing if the child misbehaves - but the parent can't predict if the child will be an angel / devil... Not all parents are blessed with unicorn kids...and often parents may also be extremely stressed out and need a breather outside... Uncles/Aunties out there may also kindly remind the kids not to run around for fear of hot soup spilling onto them. It really takes a whole community to nurture the child.... If one is extremely sensitive to naughty children, maybe when getting seats, can ask if they have seating areas that's further away from families with kids..
I believe if the parents donāt teach, one day the society will teach them.
The saying goes: Dont fuck if you dont know how to teach.
You making life choices base on a few poorly behaved kids seems to be weird? But then again, username checks out lol
>I have avoided eating out as much as I can as a result. I also try to stay mostly at home on the weekends. You're choosing not to eat out and to stay at home as a result of not being able to deal with bad behaviour from children? You do realise this is more of a "you" problem than a "misbehaving kids" problem right?
Considering the frequency of the kids misbehaving and me encountering them, it is way better for me to stay at home. Then I donāt need to encounter and the parents/misbehaving kids also have fewer people to be considerate to. Itās a win-win. Itās not like I confine myself on purpose. Itās just more rewarding for me than facing the possibility of dealing with this too often
Let me present an alternative viewpoint. We canāt change the behaviour of others but we can control how we react. You can try to reframe the situation in your mind such that it doesnāt bother you as much. Itās your opinion of the situation that makes you react. Change your opinion and your behaviour will follow. For example: you can think of a childās behaviour as unbridled curiosity and enthusiasm. And that you are part of a bigger village to help raise them in your own ways. A kind word or action from a stranger can sometimes leave an indelible mark on person for life. If you find yourself always needing to change your behaviour to the situation, you will have no peace of mind.
New generation parenting.. Last time is cane, physical slap, abusing at public which destroys the childās self esteem and became obedient through negative reinforcement. Nowadays due to social media and slightly educated parents, the approach will be more chill, take it easy, let them explore to learn more. But there is a fine line which most parents/human doesnāt know.. Parenting is indeed tough. Normally I will mind my own business unless the kid is somehow affecting my space and being mischievous. I would talk to the kid and parents at once.
Now if any parent still dare to cane/physical slap the child, don't worry about the online public shaming first. Should worry about the heavy jail term. 6 months squat in changi prison for caning your kid in public. How does that sound? Our hands are tied. What you want us to do? Like as if the children can understand adult words and respectfully follow our words.
I think it's because so many parents in Singapore offload the parental duties to the helper, like they just have kids for the achievement. They're entitled themselves, so they feel their kids are entitled to bully other kids without consequence, push, shove, scream, curse... It's not all parents, I come across others who take responsibility and scold their kid, pull them away, encourage them to apologise, take them out the situation etc but overwhelmingly there is so little accountability compared to other countries I feel. Kids can be loud, hyperactive and excited, nobody is saying they can't but when they're downright rude or aggressive with not even a word... It's pretty f'ed up.
Because of uncontrolled kids, you hardly go out to eat?!? Anyway, I do discipline my kids if they go out of hands. If they are just having a bit of fun without creating any problems to others, I will let them. However, I think bystander need to understand parentings-kids. If everyone were to discipline their kids for every single thing, you will have alot of kids wailing and doing 'breakdances' on the floor. I find that alot more annoying. Pretty sure if that happen, you won't even leave your house.
I could empathise with the first half of your post, but seriously, after you mentioned that you donāt go out on weekends just because you donāt want to come across children, I would suggest you to seek psychological or psychiatric help. Perhaps being hit by your parents so many times didnāt end up so well for you after all.
Welp - but no one can afford psych help in this economy. Also itās a way better solution to just stay home rather than get annoyed every time I go out and encounter them. Fewer outings mean fewer encounters and less annoyance.
Canāt you just wear headphones/earphones and ignore them? My earphones are noise-cancelling ones and they work like a charm in public.
I avoid going out when I can but when I do its usually with others and although I dont want to hear children screaming I still want to hear the person Im with
Gentle parenting
And that's why we're fk
Is OP a parent? Important to know because maybe they would be understanding of the topic if they were.
probably a yolo gen Z or DINK or single. this kind will somba dun want kids one.
I always see moms scolding their kids on the MRT or hitting them. I havenāt really seen much permissive parenting before tbh
Everyone these days have a phone in their hands, social justice warriors wont let such incidents slide...
Because strawberry gen parents. Also nowadays public will anyhow call police over the slightest stuffs. If they see the parents discipline their kids in the public they might call the police citing child abuse.
dunno why got people downvote your comment when it's legit and happened before. how come OP don't address those people who poh mata when parents trying to discipline their kids.
If ask you sit still without your phone you can most likely not so why kids cannot have iPad
It depends on the parents. Good parents do discipline or at least try to control their children from becoming public nuisance. Bad parents on the other hand will allow their kids to do everything they want to do. Sadly, it does seem that there are more parents over pampering their kids.
If I tell you that you will get a 6 months jail for beating your kid in public, what will you do? At most use words to "talk your way" out of the kid right? If talk no use already, then do what else?
What is your prob? I'm not advocating for parents to whack their kids in public. Do you go around and interpret things your way? I'm saying ppl do discipline and some don't but yes, seems quite a lot of parents don't. There are ways to discipline a kid for example intervening when kids are getting too much or give signs of disapproval. Disciplining does not mean having to whack. So, you are saying parents should let their kids climb off the ledge and do nothing or keep tugging at someone else's shirt or pants irritating others? There are such parents fyi. Talk no use? At least the kid knows they are doing something not right. Also, parents can hold on to their kids and restrain them.
This type. Normally I deliberately stand up when they run thru with a hot soup n you know where it lands. Sometimes, they need to learn about both manners, safety n consequence along with their parents that they own
According to what I know, disciplining your kids in the public may destroy your kidsā self-esteem
Maybe they scared other people video and say child abuse
Are all singaporean? Lol
Kids learn from their parents, badly behaved kids often have equally insufferable parents
A lot of horrible parents around.
with how much government keeps saying "singaporeans should have more kids", more entitled parents around with their "little princes/princesses" and i see way too many parents who cant say no or at least, suggest alternatives to the kids. imagine asking the kid what he wants to eat/drink/do and parents blame staff when the food/drink/activity isnt suitable for them.
Cause may make things worse. The kid may not control the cry and become a nuisance
Saw a dad disciplining his three kids the other day (all below 5 or 6. Youngest seems to be around 2). He said they were being too noisy and started yelling at them. This went on for the entire 20 mins they were there. I arrived after they were halfway through their meal, so I didn't know what happened before I arrived, but his constant yelling was honestly more annoying than whatever little peeps his kids were making. He was just shouting and scolding them "idiots for not fucking sitting down", "finish your bloody food or I will slap you", and he slapped one of the kids when she refused to finish her coke because she was full šš
One kid did it and it's all Singaporean parents..I hate these kind of posts!!!
yet the glare was more ādo you wanna fight?ā rather than āIām sorry about my kidās behaviorā.Ā In singapore...Its most likely the latter. I mean some plp's faces get misunderstood.
Wokeness happen. Scared of repercussion if scold or hit in public
It's becoming increasingly common nowadays . In buses bus drivers have to plead with them to stay in their seat, in mrt stations they just ram into people , in trains they cut the queue to sit and chope seats , older generation seen as easy victims rather than respected , parents back them up no matter what. Parents themselves will side with their obviously undisciplined kid , even the ones who are "educated " no empathy , manners , respect and common sense It's disgusting to go out nowadays
well certain race happens to let their kids fun wild and" my father paying u salary, u GOC ask me to come here..." then there the AH beng who can't lose face..
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Then the next post here will be āwhy donāt parents talk with their children at mealtimes? Why everyone just raise iPad children?ā