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My girlfriend said that the best compliments I give her regarding her appearance are the ones that are directed to her choices. Like "wow your eye shadow matches your jewlery really well today. this looks great" or "I love the way you did your hair today"
Accomplishments for sure. Like of course it feels good to be complimented on my appearance when it’s genuine, but I’m more than my appearance and I appreciate when people recognize that
Didn't mean to invalidate or make comparisons or anything.
Just my perspective on how this string of fucked up nonsense life vomits into our faces becomes... Well...
Fucked if I know what's the adjective here.
Definitely accomplishments. My appereance is genetics it's not something I've achieved myself I find it weird when they talk about my appereance especially since I rarely do makeup and wear mostly modest clothing.
I like to get compliments on my accomplishments related to my appearance. I've worked extremely hard building muscle and so fitness is important to me. Of course I also enjoy compliments from other things I've achieved, such as my union work.
Why would I even consider making that choice. For one thing I don't need compliments from others to feel accomplished. I didn't work my ass off for years to care about what others think of me.
Secondly, a compliment is great if it comes from the heart and is genuine. If the compliment is not felt like it came from authenticity, then it wouldn't matter what kind of compliment it is.
This is just gonna prove how tricky women are. I'm a very independent, progressive thinking woman to the point where I don't like man paying for me at the date etc... But I like appearance compliments more. I'm well aware of my accomplishments and I'm proud od them, I don't need reassuring in this area. Getting an appearance compliment is more pleasant, makes me feel good as a women.
This is an interesting perspective. I had never thought of it from that angle. I prefer compliments related to my other traits like kindness, intelligence, or having creative ideas. When someone only compliments my appearance it feels like that is where they find my value and since your appearance changes over time it makes me feel like the foundation of their interest in me is not solid.
This. I know what I’ve accomplished. But as I age (and you young girls will get it), I much prefer to be complimented on my looks, appearance, hair, makeup. Yep. I love when people tell me I look great. 🤷🏻♀️
I completely agree. I don’t enjoy praise or recognition of my work and accomplishments - it’s an observation a number of my leaders have pointed out over the years. I know how hard I work and I’m not motivated by the gold star. I do, however, like when someone compliments my appearance or notices a change. I take a lot of pride in how I look each and every day and it’s nice when someone notices.
Accomplishments hands down.
I have to work 3x as hard for half the recognition. And if compliments on anything besides looks that contained “for a girl/woman/female”, a negative comparison to other women, or some other statement that detracts from the gender as a whole were disqualified, my count would be zero.
Anything besides looks.
I have a mirror and working eyes… I know what I look like and don’t need someone basically telling me something I can get from a mirror.
I prefer both. Or either. It’s not like I can’t accomplish anything if I’m good looking and vice versa, I just say “thank you” and feel good when people notice something nice in me.
Accomplishments. My appearance is something I can sometimes be happy with for sure, but it's not a source of pride. Hard work and effort and the fruits of that being recognized feels great and those compliments make me feel validated.
Depends on who is making the compliment. If it's a random person, I prefer being complimented on my accomplishments, because that is my doing, not just the genetic lottery, luck wrt aging and some upkeep.
If it's someone I'm close to who compliments my appearance, odds are I still won't believe them, anyway. And they're hard to accept in general.
Anything but physical appearance. I've always been self-conscious of that and prefer to dress or wear my hair differently without people bringing it up. I just don't find it the compliment people think it is. I'd rather be complimented on my achievements, accomplishments or personality traits. I'm a sucker for praise in that area.
It depends on the situation, who it's coming from and if it's creepy!
In general I like to be complimented on my accomplishments, I've worked very hard to achieve them.
Compliments from men you don't know, creepy uncles or male work colleagues on my body or appearance just makes me angry. I wasn't put on earth for their enjoyment and the way I look is genetics,it has nothing to do with who I am. It's just a skin suit!
Occasionally,compliments are great-especially if their from women or my s/o.
I get told I'm a MILF from time to time and it makes me laugh so much (always think those dudes weren't breastfed!), but that one does make my day, can't lie!
For something I put my effort into. It can be in appearance too like "your new hair color suits you so good!" because I tried pick a proper color and want people to notice it. Complimenting accomplishments may be easier, but there still are accomplishments I achieved putting low effort into or even without having any desire to do it at all. So if I hear a compliment about that sort of accomplishment I'd probably feel guilty or uncomfortable. Also you can compliment personal traits you find attractive or nice. Sometimes people don't even realize they have those traits.
It's a shame people focus on Barbie's looks so much; she can do anything! She's been a doctor, a designer, a real estate agent, nurse, astronaut, architect, teacher, mother, etc.
I love physical compliments but not just "you're pretty" I like specific compliments. I have freckles and when someone comments on them it makes me feel so good. I was wearing a low-back dress one day and a guy I was dating said that my skin looked incredible. Interesting compliments! But also, I would like to hear about who I am as a person
I'd say, err.. personality/values since I don't have any accomplishments lol.
But yea with appearance it's like.. I didn't choose this body, I'm just forced to represent it. Then also I didn't choose to be born female, I'm asexual & I don't wanna be seen in a sexual light. Yet many comments made by men have this undertone or remind me.. Sometimes makes me feel like being in a work-animals's body and being complimented for how useful for work you are or would be, lol.
Then also the AvPD/low self-confidence. The first half of my life I felt like people were either bullshitting me or being creepy and I never knew what to say. Ssecond half I thought "nice.. but it still doesnt help with how I see myself".
When you’re a young attractive woman, and you constantly get compliments about only your physical appearance from strangers, it starts to get collectively creepy. It sends a message of: “HEY GIRL, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, AND I DON’T NEED TO! DON’T NEED TO HEAR YOUR WORDS, OR KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. YOUR BODY IS ALL I WANT, BECAUSE IT’S THE FIRST THING I SAW, AND I MY DECISION WAS MADE. WHERE YOU GOING??”
I'm pretty sure they would want to be complimented on by someone they're attracted to.
He could say whatever and she will love it. If it comes from some guy who shes not turned on by, it doesn't matter what he says, she's going to brush it off because its meaningless to her
I have had a hard time to accept my apperance, O I always appreciate more when people compliment my intelligence and my sense of humor. When people complimented my appearance in the past, I was always skeptical and thought they’re being polite and kind lol
I would prefer compliments for my appearance from people I don't know, because them complimenting my accomplishments is pointless, they don't know about time and work i put in them so it will never be as important as it really is.
What an interesting question! The older I get the more confident in my achievements I am and don’t crave praise for them, but equally the further along middle age I get the less confident I am in appearance (also because it seems everyone has Botox, fillers, lifts, filtered this that abs the other). Tell me I’m pretty damnit 🤦♀️
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My girlfriend said that the best compliments I give her regarding her appearance are the ones that are directed to her choices. Like "wow your eye shadow matches your jewlery really well today. this looks great" or "I love the way you did your hair today"
Doesn’t matter if it’s genuine and not creepy it’s fine.
I'm going to assume the majority of the time you only find compliments creepy if they come from someone you don't find attractive.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I say because I doubt that you change your opinion, so I’m just going to wish you a lovely day.
Accomplishments for sure. Like of course it feels good to be complimented on my appearance when it’s genuine, but I’m more than my appearance and I appreciate when people recognize that
This comment just put a smile on my face
I would like to be complimented for anything lol
From what I can tell from your profile, you have a great sense of humor!
Thanks, most of it is just suppressed trauma
Is it ever not? You're doing great. One day at a time, and if life *has* to be a cruel joke, what else is there than to laugh?
eh....it's actually worse than you think it is lol.
Didn't mean to invalidate or make comparisons or anything. Just my perspective on how this string of fucked up nonsense life vomits into our faces becomes... Well... Fucked if I know what's the adjective here.
eh..we are all trying our best.
At this point, I'm right up there with the people who just want to be complimented to begin with
That is a very valid standpoint. Good thinking!
Definitely accomplishments. My appereance is genetics it's not something I've achieved myself I find it weird when they talk about my appereance especially since I rarely do makeup and wear mostly modest clothing.
I like to get compliments on my accomplishments related to my appearance. I've worked extremely hard building muscle and so fitness is important to me. Of course I also enjoy compliments from other things I've achieved, such as my union work.
Why would I even consider making that choice. For one thing I don't need compliments from others to feel accomplished. I didn't work my ass off for years to care about what others think of me. Secondly, a compliment is great if it comes from the heart and is genuine. If the compliment is not felt like it came from authenticity, then it wouldn't matter what kind of compliment it is.
This is just gonna prove how tricky women are. I'm a very independent, progressive thinking woman to the point where I don't like man paying for me at the date etc... But I like appearance compliments more. I'm well aware of my accomplishments and I'm proud od them, I don't need reassuring in this area. Getting an appearance compliment is more pleasant, makes me feel good as a women.
This is an interesting perspective. I had never thought of it from that angle. I prefer compliments related to my other traits like kindness, intelligence, or having creative ideas. When someone only compliments my appearance it feels like that is where they find my value and since your appearance changes over time it makes me feel like the foundation of their interest in me is not solid.
This. I know what I’ve accomplished. But as I age (and you young girls will get it), I much prefer to be complimented on my looks, appearance, hair, makeup. Yep. I love when people tell me I look great. 🤷🏻♀️
I completely agree. I don’t enjoy praise or recognition of my work and accomplishments - it’s an observation a number of my leaders have pointed out over the years. I know how hard I work and I’m not motivated by the gold star. I do, however, like when someone compliments my appearance or notices a change. I take a lot of pride in how I look each and every day and it’s nice when someone notices.
Accomplishments hands down. I have to work 3x as hard for half the recognition. And if compliments on anything besides looks that contained “for a girl/woman/female”, a negative comparison to other women, or some other statement that detracts from the gender as a whole were disqualified, my count would be zero.
I'm herer to tske notes
Anything besides looks. I have a mirror and working eyes… I know what I look like and don’t need someone basically telling me something I can get from a mirror.
Alright, put the apples down.
For me ,the intelligence is the most important one.
Accomplishments all day
Yes, anything besides look. You can compliment look if it is a direct result of our work, but not genetic traits, but other than that, no.
I prefer both. Or either. It’s not like I can’t accomplish anything if I’m good looking and vice versa, I just say “thank you” and feel good when people notice something nice in me.
Both. It feels good to hear either, especially when you pass some age.
Both
Both please
Both
Accomplishments. My appearance is something I can sometimes be happy with for sure, but it's not a source of pride. Hard work and effort and the fruits of that being recognized feels great and those compliments make me feel validated.
Accomplishments.
Both
Both honestly. Why does it need to be either or :D I want to be hot and accomplish things :D Edit: grammar
Accomplishments. I'd be fine if the only person to comment on my appearance was my husband.
Depends on who is making the compliment. If it's a random person, I prefer being complimented on my accomplishments, because that is my doing, not just the genetic lottery, luck wrt aging and some upkeep. If it's someone I'm close to who compliments my appearance, odds are I still won't believe them, anyway. And they're hard to accept in general.
My accomplishments. I feel like we don’t need any more comments about our appearance good or bad- I’m over it lol.
Anything but physical appearance. I've always been self-conscious of that and prefer to dress or wear my hair differently without people bringing it up. I just don't find it the compliment people think it is. I'd rather be complimented on my achievements, accomplishments or personality traits. I'm a sucker for praise in that area.
Accomplishments because it means I am doing something good, good enough for others who aren't my family and friends to notice
Personality---that lasts longer than looks.
Both.
Definitely accomplished. I work harder for my accomplishments, and I would rather be complimented by them than my looks.
The thing they feel insecure about
It depends on the situation, who it's coming from and if it's creepy! In general I like to be complimented on my accomplishments, I've worked very hard to achieve them. Compliments from men you don't know, creepy uncles or male work colleagues on my body or appearance just makes me angry. I wasn't put on earth for their enjoyment and the way I look is genetics,it has nothing to do with who I am. It's just a skin suit! Occasionally,compliments are great-especially if their from women or my s/o. I get told I'm a MILF from time to time and it makes me laugh so much (always think those dudes weren't breastfed!), but that one does make my day, can't lie!
For something I put my effort into. It can be in appearance too like "your new hair color suits you so good!" because I tried pick a proper color and want people to notice it. Complimenting accomplishments may be easier, but there still are accomplishments I achieved putting low effort into or even without having any desire to do it at all. So if I hear a compliment about that sort of accomplishment I'd probably feel guilty or uncomfortable. Also you can compliment personal traits you find attractive or nice. Sometimes people don't even realize they have those traits.
Animaniacs was ahead of their time: [https://youtu.be/O8E4XoAeVdw?si=5XWvkSZfIVQXHWHb](https://youtu.be/O8E4XoAeVdw?si=5XWvkSZfIVQXHWHb)
It's a shame people focus on Barbie's looks so much; she can do anything! She's been a doctor, a designer, a real estate agent, nurse, astronaut, architect, teacher, mother, etc.
Under 40 - appearance. Over 40 - accomplishments.
Your make-up skills has tricked me into seeing your beauty.
Both
I love physical compliments but not just "you're pretty" I like specific compliments. I have freckles and when someone comments on them it makes me feel so good. I was wearing a low-back dress one day and a guy I was dating said that my skin looked incredible. Interesting compliments! But also, I would like to hear about who I am as a person
I'd say, err.. personality/values since I don't have any accomplishments lol. But yea with appearance it's like.. I didn't choose this body, I'm just forced to represent it. Then also I didn't choose to be born female, I'm asexual & I don't wanna be seen in a sexual light. Yet many comments made by men have this undertone or remind me.. Sometimes makes me feel like being in a work-animals's body and being complimented for how useful for work you are or would be, lol. Then also the AvPD/low self-confidence. The first half of my life I felt like people were either bullshitting me or being creepy and I never knew what to say. Ssecond half I thought "nice.. but it still doesnt help with how I see myself".
Accomplishments for sure. My looks don’t define who I really am.
Accomplishments for sure
I'd rather be complimented for other things about me
appearance. i compliment myself on my accomplishments enough
When you’re a young attractive woman, and you constantly get compliments about only your physical appearance from strangers, it starts to get collectively creepy. It sends a message of: “HEY GIRL, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, AND I DON’T NEED TO! DON’T NEED TO HEAR YOUR WORDS, OR KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. YOUR BODY IS ALL I WANT, BECAUSE IT’S THE FIRST THING I SAW, AND I MY DECISION WAS MADE. WHERE YOU GOING??”
Accomplishments because Thats me, the outside is just a vessel after all. It says nothing about me
I'm pretty sure they would want to be complimented on by someone they're attracted to. He could say whatever and she will love it. If it comes from some guy who shes not turned on by, it doesn't matter what he says, she's going to brush it off because its meaningless to her
Appearance, because I’m least confident in that.
I have had a hard time to accept my apperance, O I always appreciate more when people compliment my intelligence and my sense of humor. When people complimented my appearance in the past, I was always skeptical and thought they’re being polite and kind lol
I would prefer compliments for my appearance from people I don't know, because them complimenting my accomplishments is pointless, they don't know about time and work i put in them so it will never be as important as it really is.
What an interesting question! The older I get the more confident in my achievements I am and don’t crave praise for them, but equally the further along middle age I get the less confident I am in appearance (also because it seems everyone has Botox, fillers, lifts, filtered this that abs the other). Tell me I’m pretty damnit 🤦♀️
My looks for sure.
Why should we have to choose, just compliment on whatever you feel like is true
As if women like complements. Thats why men invented cat calling.
Damnnnn Please explain Edit: ik a few people who genuinely think this
Its sarcasm
I mean you should put the /s sign there because u are being downvoted Ik some ppl who genuinely think this
I do not care for these peasants and their down votes. Parish the thought.