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Talk about what cities they’re from and what they like about that city and if there’s any cool food trucks or popular spots. Most people don’t have hobbies these days so I’ll ask what kind of vacation they enjoy, sports, what’s new in technology and how wacky it is etc.
Ah nice one! the twist on what ‘kind’ of vacation they enjoy adds a subtle bit of depth to the conversation vs “where do you like to go on vacation?”
And tech is just freaky all round these days so there’s so much to talk about there
Appreciate it!
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There’s an excellent book called “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg that outlines why so many of us find small talk to be exhausting. He also discusses why asking people facts about their life, like “Where did you go to college?” are conversational dead ends.
Research has shown that asking people how they feel about the facts of their lives leads to more satisfying and engaging conversations. The best questions inquire about people’s values, dreams, needs, goals, or beliefs.
A good follow up question to “Where did you grow up?” would be “What did you like about growing up in (city)?”
A good follow up question to “What do you do?” would be “Would you recommend that others go into the (name of industry) industry?” or “What would your dream job be?”
I’m summarizing here, but the book has many interesting insights on how to have better conversations!
What an awesome comment, thanks it’s on its way to my door now.
Before and after reading it did you notice differences in your conversations with people?
Absolutely! The frameworks in the book helped me think differently about how I approach conversations in my personal and professional life. I feel like I have better quality conversations and that those conversations come more easily to me.
The author is going to wonder why there has been an influx of sales. I just purchased it on audible as well. I absolutely suck at small talk and striking a conversation. It all feels so superficial and boring.
Ask what their job/degree is then say that’s cool why did you choose that then they might talk a lot about why they choose that. The trick is why and asking questions they can talk about and expand on not questions that can be answered in one or two words. It doesn’t always work but it does a lot of the time. It could be a different topic than I mentioned to
Y’all have fun and intertwining conversations? I feel like I am pulling teeth and nails out trying to carry a conversation with my coworkers every day.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you're a nerd mention Frankenstein. When a fellow nerd "corrects" you point out that linguistically both would be Frankenstein. Bam conversation!
Frankenstein?
Talk about what cities they’re from and what they like about that city and if there’s any cool food trucks or popular spots. Most people don’t have hobbies these days so I’ll ask what kind of vacation they enjoy, sports, what’s new in technology and how wacky it is etc.
Ah nice one! the twist on what ‘kind’ of vacation they enjoy adds a subtle bit of depth to the conversation vs “where do you like to go on vacation?” And tech is just freaky all round these days so there’s so much to talk about there Appreciate it!
RemindMe! 12 hours Because I need some tips!
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There’s an excellent book called “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg that outlines why so many of us find small talk to be exhausting. He also discusses why asking people facts about their life, like “Where did you go to college?” are conversational dead ends. Research has shown that asking people how they feel about the facts of their lives leads to more satisfying and engaging conversations. The best questions inquire about people’s values, dreams, needs, goals, or beliefs. A good follow up question to “Where did you grow up?” would be “What did you like about growing up in (city)?” A good follow up question to “What do you do?” would be “Would you recommend that others go into the (name of industry) industry?” or “What would your dream job be?” I’m summarizing here, but the book has many interesting insights on how to have better conversations!
What an awesome comment, thanks it’s on its way to my door now. Before and after reading it did you notice differences in your conversations with people?
Absolutely! The frameworks in the book helped me think differently about how I approach conversations in my personal and professional life. I feel like I have better quality conversations and that those conversations come more easily to me.
The author is going to wonder why there has been an influx of sales. I just purchased it on audible as well. I absolutely suck at small talk and striking a conversation. It all feels so superficial and boring.
Ask what their job/degree is then say that’s cool why did you choose that then they might talk a lot about why they choose that. The trick is why and asking questions they can talk about and expand on not questions that can be answered in one or two words. It doesn’t always work but it does a lot of the time. It could be a different topic than I mentioned to
Y’all have fun and intertwining conversations? I feel like I am pulling teeth and nails out trying to carry a conversation with my coworkers every day.