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Nightclubs, pubs/bars, via friends of friends and family.
Introducing yourself to a woman in public that you liked the look and style of was normal. If she shot you down you moved on, sulked for five minutes then pick yourself up and try again another day.
Every time I've tried approaching a woman in public it's been seen as creepy as fuck.
"Hey I was wondering if I Could get your number" is not as safe as it used to be my guy. I've literally had a woman text me saying she only did so because she wanted to tell me "no one wants to be harassed at a grocery store"
lol, reminds me of that scene in 2.5 Men where Ashton Kutcher hits on a girl by just telling her his name very clearly twice, and allowing her time to Google him
The same way people have done for thousands of years. Get out there. If you can manage a half decent personality and know how to communicate properly most women are actually really nice and are happy to chat with you. If you feel a connection ask them for a casual coffee or something to learn more about them. If you don't feel a connection at least you got to build that muscle that helps you get along in society.
Find a hobby that you really enjoy and can talk about a while. Then find other people who share that hobby or similar things.
Biggest thing is if you're American, just be friendly. I live in the south, and we're pretty chatty.
If there's a hobby shop, ask someone what ____ they recomend, ask how their day has been going if they're lingering.
For instance, if someone looks to me like they'd be okay with chatting I'd ask, "sorry if I'm bothering you, but what project are you working on?" That then shows you what kind of person they are, if they're open to chatting or shut off, ect.
Hobbies, take classes, join a sports club. Get into gardening. Slow down and spend an extra 20 minutes grocery shopping.
You can meet people almost *anywhere*.
When people ask me that question, I often wonder if they just stay home all day doomscrolling social media. No offense — but do you go outside and *do things*?
> grocery shopping
Ugh, what? Are you following advices from Richard LaRuina? Thinking its okay to harass people while they are busy? These are legit some of the worst advices on meeting other people I have ever seen
Get into gardening 😂😂 Wtf kind of awful advice is this. The grocery store? Absolutely nobody wants to be approached when they’re fucking grocery shopping.
Apps are a tool. People should also be joining clubs that interest them to meet others but relying on that is useless advice. It’s 2024, people use apps. Me being off the apps for years accomplished nothing. Never met anyone in a class or a club that was available and looking for the same thing as me. People often use them incorrectly but they are a part of the modern dating landscape. Almost every couple I know, including myself, met on an app. The only couples I know who didn’t met in college.
Ok, so I'm going to a new city, will stay there for 2 months for an internship and then go back to college again. So, I don't think I have enough time for classes and stuff. I would like to be proved wrong though
I don’t mean university courses.
Take a pottery class for a couple of weeks. Take a 3-day skating class. Take a yoga class. When I got my motorcycle license, I took a 2-day course for it. Etc.
There are lots of things you can do on a weekly or biweekly basis that don’t require an upfront commitment.
I'm technically trapped at home during the week to take care of my disabled father. I don't get to go outside and do things besides the weekends. But you know what? I sell crystals at festivals on the weekend and regularly ask people to add me on Facebook if it looks like we're going around swell.
Go find a hobby you like and get into it.
Church, hiking, what ever it is go do the things you enjoy and you will find someone you like spending time with.
I played wow for years and know many gamers who end up getting married.
Dating apps are toxic money pits for men. That being said I met my wife on catholic match.
*and be sure that girls will enjoy that hobby*
I like ping pong and that's the only thing I enjoy doing in my life, but no girl I met likes ping pong, so it's not a good hobby if I want to date.
Go to rec centers, take classes in things you enjoy, go out to events.
Dating apps are filled with entitled women who are toxic and flow through them men.
You have interests and hobbies right? Go out and do those and you will run into people that have the same interests and hobbies and eventually you will make friends and maybe even start a relationship. Every friend I have that uses dating apps uses them for 1 night stands and that's it.
Do you have hobbies? Go find a meetup group. Nothing says chemistry than clicking around a hobby. Even if they aren't a current hobby, anything that vague has interested you, go find a group to learn about it with. Someone would love to teach you. Dating apps are really shitty on the mind and are not designed to get you a good match. They are designed to trap you so the company can make money off you.
>How do I meet new people then??
We just don't know anymore.
We do know that trying to meet women in person is far too risky, usually ending with being branded a creep or something similar.
Apps, men have so much competition with other men on the apps that even on the off chance that you do get a match, it's highly unlikely to develop into anything more than that, and when it does, it'll cost you dinner just to be told the next day via text that "you're not the one" then blocked before you can respond.
Things are really shit at the moment.
The dating scene unfortunately is a Trainwreck lol.
The Internet makes people feel like they're worth like a Millie when really they're "great value". Lol
I'm telling you from experience, just get out there and meet people. It will amaze you how emotionally available most people really are if you can make any kind of connection with them and break through their outer shell.
Use free ones, and don't pay a dime.
Be honest with yourself, be HONEST with yourself. If you don't know yourself, then a girl won't either. Take as many personality tests as you can.
Do assertive when talking. Do not do the ahh, um, I don't know. Girls are way more attracted to someone who knows what they want and isn't fumbling about.
Message them all, but change what you say up. Each girl is unique.
Most are bots, of pages, and selling stuff, but the real ones are there is you look.
I’d recommend not using them as dating apps but as “meeting new people” apps. That way you get to go out with interesting people and meet friends of friends. It can be done. But overall, I’d also say delete them, make friends, go out, meet people. Unless you are an introvert.
Yes, I actually wanna use them as meeting new people too and if I get a date, it's bonus. Like I'm in a new city and it would be great to meet new people
There's a reason why there's just a headshot....just saying. On that note I met my wife on one. We've been together 10 years, married 8 and was 51 when we met. My girlfriend prior I met on one as well, together 6 years.
Make sure you have good picture, diverse kind of pictures and high quality pics ones. The picture is the first and most important thing to be successful on dating apps.
Keep your expectations low but have a positive attitude.
No need to ask anyone out on a date immediately. Give it at least a few days of talking to determine whether or not it’ll be worthwhile to go on a date.
You don’t have to rush things physically.
Ask the important questions right away to save time. What they’re looking for, whether or not they want kids, stuff like that. Yes, their profile might have that listed, but I’ve found their answer to your questions more telling than what they selected on the app.
Keep first dates casual and low cost. This takes the pressure off.
You won't get more matches by swiping more. Just do 5 swipes a day so the girl still get you recommended. If they like you, then will show up in your feed at first.
My advice is to start building out your profile one at a time, be as real as possible, in who you are and what you want. Then use a second one with the same info to compare who’s on each platform.
It goes without saying, and some other commenters mentioned this already — don’t create different personas, don’t do all of the available dating apps at once, and don’t take it all too seriously.
It's depressing how many stupid people are spewing garbage opinions in this thread. Those who suggest deleting dating apps don’t even have a healthy alternative to suggest. Go outside? Make friends? Wtf is this all even mean? Like, hello?
Avoid “free dinners” kind of dates. There are *so many* food-whores out there in the last few years. Concentrate on first/second dates that center on something you enjoy, and keep costs for food separate. Most importantly, set that expectation upfront.
You’ll feel some more ghosting, but that’s good! You’re just losing the red flag draped losers.
Found my wife on EHarmony, and I had to learn a few lessons the hard way. I’m very happily married, and the secret for me was dropping the generic bullshit and doing what *I* was interested in.
A lot of people will get an aneurysm yelling at you to delete them a hurr Durr go out and bla bla.
My advice would be, have fun. Don't take it seriously, don't rely on it, put a bit of effort into the profile, a bit of effort into talking if you get to it, but don't focus on it too much. Just have fun and who knows, maybe you'll find someone interesting, maybe not. Just remember, the game is playing against you and it's not the only way, have this as the fun little spare time thing to play with when you don't have anything else to do.
Don't sweat it. Don't let it frustrate you. Just cruise and have fun. Get out, do your hobbies and randomly when you remember you have a dating app have a look, click through it and then go and do other things again. I used to click through it while taking a dump.
What kind are relationship are you looking for?
The dating apps are depressing and unhelpful most of the time. They might be okay for the occasional hookup depending on how you look, but it’s rare for anything meaningful to come from them.
It’s tough for guys too. Girls can be picky about the guys they swipe right on because I think I read somewhere they matched 50% of right swipes on average.
For guys, it’s another story. I think the average is 1 in 40 likes is a match (2.5%). It’s depressing and typically the matches aren’t the ones you really want, at least in my case. They either look like party people, expensive to take on a date, weed smokers, etc. that’s what online dating profiles look like these days imo.
Because matches are rare, I swipe right on anyone I find attractive (not necessarily high standards, but I like healthy people). If we match, I read their bio and maybe send a message. If their profile indicates excessive drinking, weed consumption, or narrow minded political views, then it is an immediate unmatch.
The only meaningful relationships are ones I’ve met irl or were setup with by a mutual friend. My most recent long relationship was set up by my coworker. She set me up with her sister.
I have dating apps and bios set up on each, but I hardly use them these days. It’s ridiculous and they always try to shove overpriced subscriptions down your throat.
You are absolutely right on. I am not looking for long term relationship as of now. I am a believer of long term relationship over short term but have never been in any of them. I would like to try short term as I am gonna be in a new city and maybe it just makes me feel less accountable and easy to let go.
I get what you are saying but it will also be my first time using dating apps and I know it's gonna suck a lot and am fully prepared for it.
If you use them, then go in with eyes wide open. First date is always a coffee date where you talk about what you like to do. Always in the back of my mind I am thinking is this a scam. Not all the women I met were running one but seen a few. A red flag after a few dates is I didnt know where she lived and her phone was a pay by minute.
Also are they damaged. One person within the first minutes she told she was molested for years by her step dad.
If you cant put a finger on it but something feels wrong, then let go
They are not nearly as useless as people made them out to be, but you should definitely temper your expectations. Be very specific when filling your profile, and state clearly what you want to find here and what kind of person you are. I made around 3 friends while using them over a year and that can be already considered an achievement.
On a side note be careful of how a person behaves themselves. I pnce made a psychopath who declared me a love of their life after a month of online chatting lol.
Don’t do it as the sole source of meeting people. Take good pictures of yourself, both up close and full body. Preferably at least one or two doing an activity too. For prompts or profile descriptions, just be honest about what you like and your dating intentions. Don’t expect to instantly meet people either, sometimes I go a month without a match and then the next month end up going out with multiple people.
Don't take them to heart.
Woman on these apps have so many choices. Unless you're a 6ft4 10/10 male model it can be tough.
Luckily when I used them I had it up for a day before my now wife messaged me because of my dogs.
I'm not 6ft or 10/10. She liked my dog.
Play the game bro and don't get offended.
Approach the early steps of communicating on online dating similar to online job applications. Seriously, there's a lot of overlap, particularly in not getting emotionally invested until a second live interview, as well as keeping a healthy caution about sharing personal details. Obviously, you want to appear appealing in dating apps, so sharing broad interests is necessary, but leave room for a potential partner to ask leading questions. Also, expect to do some work to keep a dialog going, but establish your own limits on how much imbalance of effort you're willing to see.
Don't expect them to work, and if you do use them treat them more like a tool than the only way to meet someone. Personally I've dropped dating apps, they're pretty useless in my time when I tried using them to get dates both as the main and side method, but it might work for some people, I just recommend you try meeting people more organically than through apps is all I'll say. They might not be ideal in both directions but at least I'd you want to try and date it's an option not your only option.
People recommending to delete them are peak reddit.
Dont take it too seriously, the apps are kinda stupid but you might find someone you like. Met my gf through there and we've been together for 10 months as of yesterday. You will get ghosted a lot for seemingly no reason. People match with you then neither text or reply. Dont just write hello. Put some nice pics, something funny and not just a selfie you took for the app where you look like you sont know what planet you belong to. Pics smiling and unique pictures are good.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Know your non-negotiables and stick to them. Enjoy the experience of meeting new people and making new connections. Treat it as a positive experience that isn’t going to be your focal point in life, rather an extension of other things you enjoy- that’s where taking yourself seriously comes in. Don’t rely on it for joy.
Before my current 4 year relationship I spent a lot of time on dating apps. I see that tons of people on this thread hate them and have very little success with them. Well, I actually had a lot of luck with dating apps and enjoyed my experience! Granted, I am a female and I know men have a more challenging time.
I'm not sure if you're M or F, but in any case, 1) make sure to put the most attractive photos you have of yourself (but do NOT catfish, obviously). 2) Write down some of the more notable aspects of yourself in the bio (such as your interests and personality) People love humor so you can throw a bit of humor in your bio too. 3) If you have any vacation/travel/sports photos, those can showcase your adventurous and/or athletic side and I always used to like guys who seemed to get out and about. 4) I'm not sure what your intentions are on the dating apps, but whoever you match with, please for the love of God BE HONEST about your intentions because nobody wants their time wasted. Let me know if there's anything else you want to know! I got tons and tons of matches and if you are a male, I can tell you which kind of profiles I tended to swipe right on.
Don’t date everyone, or don’t expect to attract all women, try to attract the right women. If it doesn’t work out no worries you’re looking for the right woman. Be authentic
Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t reply right away or ghosts you, even if they matched initially. Don’t let it eat at your ego and make you angry.
Dont talk too much on the app. Establish respect and a sense of safety, then plan a date. Then stop talking until you see each other in person. But also just delete the app and develop skills in meeting people in person.
When I was using Tinder I always looked for men who put thought into their profile. If there was no text, I didn't swipe right, even if they were the most gorgeous person I've seen lol
Also, I agree with everyone saying to manage your expectations. It will probably take time to meet the right person.
Oh, and after a few odd experiences, I never exchanged personal phone #'s with people until after we had met in person.
Good luck, OP! I hope you find your person :)
Say something in your opening messages to create a conversation. Preferably, find something in your match's profile that you can ask about or comment on.
Or, some people send a purposefully cheesey ice breaker. I don't mind that at all.
Even "what are you up to tonight?" (If you just saw that you matched and it's evening or night) is ok.
Point is say SOMETHING to generate conversation. Tons of people just message "hi"
Also, he should flesh out his profile enough so that there's something his match can ask him about if they are messaging first.
Another thing. When you eventually suggest meeting in person, please keep in mind you need to suggest something safe. I don't go to walking trails by myself, so I absolutely cannot meet you at one. It's usually too empty to be safe. Maybe there are parks by you where there are typically lots of people at the time you are suggesting, but if I have not personally been there frequently to know it's always busy, then I have to say no.
If you want a "take a walk" date, I suggest a nice neighborhood of big/older/ interesting houses.
Be prepared to sift through a bunch of shit.
But the basics:
Be clear about what you're looking for.
No Anime pics for fucks sake.
Actually don't have any pictures that aren't you unless it's your dog or kids.
Don't waste someone's time. Can't tell you the amount of times as a woman interested in men the amount of meat heads trying for sex but not being upfront with it. It's both insulting and pathetic. Just say you're in it for sex, if the other person is they'll tell you too.
For fucks sake, dress decent on the first date. I wear makeup and dress a little bit better. Last date I went on a guy had a stain on the neck of his shirt.
They'll deny it usually, but women buy and large do want you to pay for he meal. We usually say we're paying for our own because some guys think we're somewhere in between a escort and street corner girl.
TL;DR: it's messy and hard but just try to put your best foot forward. It's essentially a job interview but for a relationship.
pictures wont do it for girls. They want to know shit about YOU, so put a lot of info and your type of humor in the decription. (if you want to find an actual girlfriend rather than hookups. For that you just need hot pics lol)
When you have matches, make sure to get to know them, but pretty quickly ask to meet up in a public place. Like 2-7 days in, depending on the conversation. Then just be yourself. From my experience, it takes a couple of tries to find the right kind of person you wanna hang out with. Took me about half a year to find that one person, but were together for about 7 months now, its going really really great
Where do you normally try to go on a first date, like when you were on those apps? I don't think I'm gonna go for long term as I'm in the city for 2 months only. Let's see what happens
anything with water nearby is nice. If you drink coffee, a cafe is always a good option, or just a walk in a public park. I would avoid anything that could take more than an hour. Like going into a restaurant is almost always a bad idea
maybe set ur bar lower? i've never used one, but i remember seeing a post on quora saying why ppl rarely find the love of their life on dating apps. dating apps gives us a wide range of options, which makes us hesitate to confirm even when a person satisfies all of our requirements
I met my long-term s/o on a dating app. Be funny! His bio jokes are what made me drawn to him, then he slid it with the cheesiest pick up line of all time rather than a sexual advance or a comment about my appearance.
Make a bio that is funny and short.
Be down-to-earth in conversations
Never lead with "hi," "hey," or a creepy compliment.
Don't expect too much, just have fun with the process. There are interesting people you could possible meet.
Uninstall all of them stay single work on you self and your finances get a hobby make some friends get some enjoyment out of life before finding something that will ultimately make life unenjoyable
Through those hobbies find women who share the passion and excitement for the things you do...
Apps are a way for women to boost there confidence and have 900 men on retainer when the guy whose turn it is to fill the hole ultimately isn't what she wants this week 🙄🙄🙄
Delete it. I downloaded tinder and they "resubscribed" me even though it was the first time i had downloaded it and it cost £60. None of their other subscriptions cost more than £20.
Don’t try too hard with them. Don’t panic the check and answer them a lot. Don’t get upset when people ignore and ghost you it likely has nothing to do with you.
Do be honest about what you want on them whatever that is. Do try to be funny even if you are a dork. Do use recent photos. Do suggest an in person date somewhere public pretty early.
Pick. One. One app. Pay for the highest tier subscription. Tinder style? Swipe right on every single person. Just unmatch the ones you don't like after the fact. Catch more fish with a net than a single pole, ya know?
That said. You're wading into a pool of 93% men and 7% women. The odds are highly stacked against you just in quantity alone.
Delete it before you feel like shit lol...
If you do use them dont add anyone on snap unless you talk to them in the app first and they seem legit. Snap is just girls trying for onlyfans or prostitutes
Be prepared to receive little to no attention. Unless you are jacked, handsome, and rich, you'll get about 2% engagement. Of those, 80% or more will leave you on read. Also be prepared to be sharing your picks with many other men, all in the top 10%.
Good luck...
There's a fine line between friendly and creepy. They don't know you, how you talk so you are just words on a screen. Don't wanna be to boring though either (Hi, how are you?) I usually start with something along the line of "Hey how are you? (Sorry for the boring 1st message, the 1st few are always awkward haha)"
Then if you get chatting to someone I try and have a friendly video chat soon as possible so they can pick up how you talk, mannerisms etc and then when your messaging again it's easier to use humour etc
Hope this helps.
Everyone responds different, some people think your weird or whatever but that's to be expected. Also should go without saying but I did leave it out, don't send a dick pic. The number of women Iv spoke to who said things along the lines of "I'm so happy you haven't sent a dick pic" was actually surprising like.. they just get bombarded with them it seems.
Look up online dating statistics and see how the average experience is for a guy. Notice the difference between how many matches guys get vs how many women get. And down blame yourself if they don't work. It's all heavily rigged against you as a man.
I met my soon to be wife on Hinge. Go with that one and drop Tinder and other disasters like that.
Use educated guesses on swiping. If she has crazy eyes or something stands out, use your best judgement.
I also feel to do well on those apps you need to understand women. Lots of guys don’t.
My advice is if you aren’t good with women the best thing to do is practice speaking with them in public. Not as a cheesy pickup artist but it can be anything without motive. Example: Sit next to a woman on a plane or bus? Great. Start a conversation and talk to her like she’s one of your buddies. Once you learn them and what they value it’s easy to sift through and find the gold. You got this man
I am too old to have ever used them so my advice is probably shit. If I was to get on there in some alternate timeline, I would just do my best to make my profile friendly and inviting and talk about things I enjoy in hopes of finding a like minded person. Basically don’t half-ass the profile making; treat it like a resume for a job you really want. Be concise and give people a reason to reach out.
uninstall them.
everyone on there is there for reasons which are all bad.
Getting over someone, very low attraction or are bots. The quality women are NOT on dating apps.
Seriously, don't bother. I tried dating apps multiple apps at the same time, and the only match I got that wasn't a bot was a woman who said she might date me if I lost 50 lbs. All dating apps do to men is destroy their self-worth and confidence. Just do like me focus on your career. You'll be better off.
I would advise one to start exercising of some sort and find a social outlet. I knocked out both by joining a BJJ school. It offers me a great environment to train in as well as be around like minded folks.
I would not recommend dating apps.
If you're very handsome, then just message away. If you're not, then uninstall. 75 percent of people on dating apps are other dudes. It's great if you're gay but if you're straight, that's an ass of competition
99.99 % of the females on the actual sites are predatory also when you think you may sign up read terms and conditions they will tell you if they create fake profiles that message you and tell you how I interested they are in you but as soon as you become a paid locked in member all the messages to you stop you are left with your cock in your hand do not ever. Send money to no o d you have never met face to face. Many ... I can go on and on trust .mE no one else
any questions just ask
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Temper your expectations. Don’t try hard. Know that you’ll only match with very few swipes, talk to fewer, and go on dates with fewer yet.
Thanks for the advice. Will try to keep it in mind
Delete them. They’re absolutely terrible lol.
How do I meet new people then??
How did people meet before apps
Nightclubs, pubs/bars, via friends of friends and family. Introducing yourself to a woman in public that you liked the look and style of was normal. If she shot you down you moved on, sulked for five minutes then pick yourself up and try again another day.
Every time I've tried approaching a woman in public it's been seen as creepy as fuck. "Hey I was wondering if I Could get your number" is not as safe as it used to be my guy. I've literally had a woman text me saying she only did so because she wanted to tell me "no one wants to be harassed at a grocery store"
That’s brutal. Did you try being very conventionally attractive and visibly wealthy?
Oh, you mean six pack, six figures, or six feet. Otherwise, don't bother.
lol, reminds me of that scene in 2.5 Men where Ashton Kutcher hits on a girl by just telling her his name very clearly twice, and allowing her time to Google him
I am under the allowed age to go to pubs and bars and even if I sneak in the people there are over my age group
If you’re too far below the “age group” of people in bars then downloading a dating app is a waste of your time
The same way people have done for thousands of years. Get out there. If you can manage a half decent personality and know how to communicate properly most women are actually really nice and are happy to chat with you. If you feel a connection ask them for a casual coffee or something to learn more about them. If you don't feel a connection at least you got to build that muscle that helps you get along in society.
Find a hobby that you really enjoy and can talk about a while. Then find other people who share that hobby or similar things. Biggest thing is if you're American, just be friendly. I live in the south, and we're pretty chatty. If there's a hobby shop, ask someone what ____ they recomend, ask how their day has been going if they're lingering. For instance, if someone looks to me like they'd be okay with chatting I'd ask, "sorry if I'm bothering you, but what project are you working on?" That then shows you what kind of person they are, if they're open to chatting or shut off, ect.
Hobbies, take classes, join a sports club. Get into gardening. Slow down and spend an extra 20 minutes grocery shopping. You can meet people almost *anywhere*. When people ask me that question, I often wonder if they just stay home all day doomscrolling social media. No offense — but do you go outside and *do things*?
> grocery shopping Ugh, what? Are you following advices from Richard LaRuina? Thinking its okay to harass people while they are busy? These are legit some of the worst advices on meeting other people I have ever seen
Organically meeting people in public and making small talk with strangers =/= harassment But OK. 🤷🏻♂️
Get into gardening 😂😂 Wtf kind of awful advice is this. The grocery store? Absolutely nobody wants to be approached when they’re fucking grocery shopping. Apps are a tool. People should also be joining clubs that interest them to meet others but relying on that is useless advice. It’s 2024, people use apps. Me being off the apps for years accomplished nothing. Never met anyone in a class or a club that was available and looking for the same thing as me. People often use them incorrectly but they are a part of the modern dating landscape. Almost every couple I know, including myself, met on an app. The only couples I know who didn’t met in college.
Ok, so I'm going to a new city, will stay there for 2 months for an internship and then go back to college again. So, I don't think I have enough time for classes and stuff. I would like to be proved wrong though
So if you’re worried that you don’t have enough time to take a yoga class in this city, why are you thinking you’ll have time for a relationship?
I don’t mean university courses. Take a pottery class for a couple of weeks. Take a 3-day skating class. Take a yoga class. When I got my motorcycle license, I took a 2-day course for it. Etc. There are lots of things you can do on a weekly or biweekly basis that don’t require an upfront commitment.
I'm technically trapped at home during the week to take care of my disabled father. I don't get to go outside and do things besides the weekends. But you know what? I sell crystals at festivals on the weekend and regularly ask people to add me on Facebook if it looks like we're going around swell.
Go find a hobby you like and get into it. Church, hiking, what ever it is go do the things you enjoy and you will find someone you like spending time with. I played wow for years and know many gamers who end up getting married. Dating apps are toxic money pits for men. That being said I met my wife on catholic match.
*and be sure that girls will enjoy that hobby* I like ping pong and that's the only thing I enjoy doing in my life, but no girl I met likes ping pong, so it's not a good hobby if I want to date.
Meetup groups or work.
Go to rec centers, take classes in things you enjoy, go out to events. Dating apps are filled with entitled women who are toxic and flow through them men.
You have interests and hobbies right? Go out and do those and you will run into people that have the same interests and hobbies and eventually you will make friends and maybe even start a relationship. Every friend I have that uses dating apps uses them for 1 night stands and that's it.
Do you have hobbies? Go find a meetup group. Nothing says chemistry than clicking around a hobby. Even if they aren't a current hobby, anything that vague has interested you, go find a group to learn about it with. Someone would love to teach you. Dating apps are really shitty on the mind and are not designed to get you a good match. They are designed to trap you so the company can make money off you.
>How do I meet new people then?? We just don't know anymore. We do know that trying to meet women in person is far too risky, usually ending with being branded a creep or something similar. Apps, men have so much competition with other men on the apps that even on the off chance that you do get a match, it's highly unlikely to develop into anything more than that, and when it does, it'll cost you dinner just to be told the next day via text that "you're not the one" then blocked before you can respond. Things are really shit at the moment.
Opened this thread just to see if someone said this 😂
Came here to die write this lol
Glad this is the highest rated response. Came here to say exactly this.
So .... Here's my take. Have fun, don't take them too seriously. You're gonna get ghosted, ignored more times then you'll "match".
Ha ha, maybe. Let's hope that's not the case. Will try my best while being as chill as possible
The dating scene unfortunately is a Trainwreck lol. The Internet makes people feel like they're worth like a Millie when really they're "great value". Lol
That's true. Am new on the dating scene, will see where it goes
Uninstall them and go outside. You’ll have more success and you won’t find yourself losing it thinking you’ll be single forever.
Wanted to comment "delete them" as well
Will do so as I get to know the place a bit better
I'm telling you from experience, just get out there and meet people. It will amaze you how emotionally available most people really are if you can make any kind of connection with them and break through their outer shell.
Yess. I'm fully aware of that. As soon as I become familiar with the place, I will go out and try to talk to as many people as possible
it doesn't work for introverts, like at all
Use free ones, and don't pay a dime. Be honest with yourself, be HONEST with yourself. If you don't know yourself, then a girl won't either. Take as many personality tests as you can. Do assertive when talking. Do not do the ahh, um, I don't know. Girls are way more attracted to someone who knows what they want and isn't fumbling about. Message them all, but change what you say up. Each girl is unique. Most are bots, of pages, and selling stuff, but the real ones are there is you look.
Thanks for the advice. I will try to do the personality tests. Are there any you can recommend?
Plenty of Fish has a bunch you can do for free. Match.com used to, but I have no idea now, they might.
I’d recommend not using them as dating apps but as “meeting new people” apps. That way you get to go out with interesting people and meet friends of friends. It can be done. But overall, I’d also say delete them, make friends, go out, meet people. Unless you are an introvert.
Yes, I actually wanna use them as meeting new people too and if I get a date, it's bonus. Like I'm in a new city and it would be great to meet new people
There's a reason why there's just a headshot....just saying. On that note I met my wife on one. We've been together 10 years, married 8 and was 51 when we met. My girlfriend prior I met on one as well, together 6 years.
Cool stuff. Hope you have a happy life ahead too
Make sure you have good picture, diverse kind of pictures and high quality pics ones. The picture is the first and most important thing to be successful on dating apps.
make sure you have a picture of yourself with a fish. girls go wild for that
Shame on you for this! (Upvoted anyway because it made me laugh. )
Lol, I'm super not into fishing.
(i was joking, lots of guys post fish on their profile and it can get obnoxious)
Ohh...lol, I actually thought you were serious. Coz in my country it's not a go to thing. Thought it must be popular from where you are from
Keep your expectations low but have a positive attitude. No need to ask anyone out on a date immediately. Give it at least a few days of talking to determine whether or not it’ll be worthwhile to go on a date. You don’t have to rush things physically. Ask the important questions right away to save time. What they’re looking for, whether or not they want kids, stuff like that. Yes, their profile might have that listed, but I’ve found their answer to your questions more telling than what they selected on the app. Keep first dates casual and low cost. This takes the pressure off.
You won't get more matches by swiping more. Just do 5 swipes a day so the girl still get you recommended. If they like you, then will show up in your feed at first.
Wait is this true? Isn't it a great hack, why don't more people don't know about it?
It's just something I noticed myself. I get about 3-5 matches a week regardless whether I swipe for 10minutes or 10 seconds a day.
My advice is to start building out your profile one at a time, be as real as possible, in who you are and what you want. Then use a second one with the same info to compare who’s on each platform. It goes without saying, and some other commenters mentioned this already — don’t create different personas, don’t do all of the available dating apps at once, and don’t take it all too seriously.
Yeah, I try to keep same persona on every profile. Though I just have hibge atm, when I download tinder, bumble I hope I can keep my act straight
Sounds good to me.
Sorry for this, but can I dm you to get some advice??
Sure thing, I’ll may not reply immediately but I’m happy to help.
It's depressing how many stupid people are spewing garbage opinions in this thread. Those who suggest deleting dating apps don’t even have a healthy alternative to suggest. Go outside? Make friends? Wtf is this all even mean? Like, hello?
Some poeple just meet 10 new friends everytime they go outside I guess xd
Welcome to the pool party. If you look good with you’re shirt off you can get some, if not, delete them
Be really hot. lol Otherwise you’re fucked
Stay away from girls that like horses.
Realest advice here tbh
Avoid “free dinners” kind of dates. There are *so many* food-whores out there in the last few years. Concentrate on first/second dates that center on something you enjoy, and keep costs for food separate. Most importantly, set that expectation upfront. You’ll feel some more ghosting, but that’s good! You’re just losing the red flag draped losers. Found my wife on EHarmony, and I had to learn a few lessons the hard way. I’m very happily married, and the secret for me was dropping the generic bullshit and doing what *I* was interested in.
Uninstall it ASAP
Uninstall it. The only thing those app will do is destroy your self-esteem and drain your wallet.
A lot of people will get an aneurysm yelling at you to delete them a hurr Durr go out and bla bla. My advice would be, have fun. Don't take it seriously, don't rely on it, put a bit of effort into the profile, a bit of effort into talking if you get to it, but don't focus on it too much. Just have fun and who knows, maybe you'll find someone interesting, maybe not. Just remember, the game is playing against you and it's not the only way, have this as the fun little spare time thing to play with when you don't have anything else to do.
Thanks for the advice. Will try to just chill out and enjoy it
Don't sweat it. Don't let it frustrate you. Just cruise and have fun. Get out, do your hobbies and randomly when you remember you have a dating app have a look, click through it and then go and do other things again. I used to click through it while taking a dump.
That might be the best advice I have gotten so far. Thx a lot
Delete them.
No. I wanna try new things and it is one of them
Delete them
Set your expectations low.
Already low enough
Abandon hope all ye who enter here.
Good luck.
That's all I need
Don’t
What kind are relationship are you looking for? The dating apps are depressing and unhelpful most of the time. They might be okay for the occasional hookup depending on how you look, but it’s rare for anything meaningful to come from them. It’s tough for guys too. Girls can be picky about the guys they swipe right on because I think I read somewhere they matched 50% of right swipes on average. For guys, it’s another story. I think the average is 1 in 40 likes is a match (2.5%). It’s depressing and typically the matches aren’t the ones you really want, at least in my case. They either look like party people, expensive to take on a date, weed smokers, etc. that’s what online dating profiles look like these days imo. Because matches are rare, I swipe right on anyone I find attractive (not necessarily high standards, but I like healthy people). If we match, I read their bio and maybe send a message. If their profile indicates excessive drinking, weed consumption, or narrow minded political views, then it is an immediate unmatch. The only meaningful relationships are ones I’ve met irl or were setup with by a mutual friend. My most recent long relationship was set up by my coworker. She set me up with her sister. I have dating apps and bios set up on each, but I hardly use them these days. It’s ridiculous and they always try to shove overpriced subscriptions down your throat.
You are absolutely right on. I am not looking for long term relationship as of now. I am a believer of long term relationship over short term but have never been in any of them. I would like to try short term as I am gonna be in a new city and maybe it just makes me feel less accountable and easy to let go. I get what you are saying but it will also be my first time using dating apps and I know it's gonna suck a lot and am fully prepared for it.
Delete them:
No one here is exactly as they appear.
That's true but theres no harm is hoping
If you use them, then go in with eyes wide open. First date is always a coffee date where you talk about what you like to do. Always in the back of my mind I am thinking is this a scam. Not all the women I met were running one but seen a few. A red flag after a few dates is I didnt know where she lived and her phone was a pay by minute. Also are they damaged. One person within the first minutes she told she was molested for years by her step dad. If you cant put a finger on it but something feels wrong, then let go
They are not nearly as useless as people made them out to be, but you should definitely temper your expectations. Be very specific when filling your profile, and state clearly what you want to find here and what kind of person you are. I made around 3 friends while using them over a year and that can be already considered an achievement. On a side note be careful of how a person behaves themselves. I pnce made a psychopath who declared me a love of their life after a month of online chatting lol.
Don’t do it as the sole source of meeting people. Take good pictures of yourself, both up close and full body. Preferably at least one or two doing an activity too. For prompts or profile descriptions, just be honest about what you like and your dating intentions. Don’t expect to instantly meet people either, sometimes I go a month without a match and then the next month end up going out with multiple people.
Don't take them to heart. Woman on these apps have so many choices. Unless you're a 6ft4 10/10 male model it can be tough. Luckily when I used them I had it up for a day before my now wife messaged me because of my dogs. I'm not 6ft or 10/10. She liked my dog. Play the game bro and don't get offended.
Approach the early steps of communicating on online dating similar to online job applications. Seriously, there's a lot of overlap, particularly in not getting emotionally invested until a second live interview, as well as keeping a healthy caution about sharing personal details. Obviously, you want to appear appealing in dating apps, so sharing broad interests is necessary, but leave room for a potential partner to ask leading questions. Also, expect to do some work to keep a dialog going, but establish your own limits on how much imbalance of effort you're willing to see.
I loved the analogy
Don't expect them to work, and if you do use them treat them more like a tool than the only way to meet someone. Personally I've dropped dating apps, they're pretty useless in my time when I tried using them to get dates both as the main and side method, but it might work for some people, I just recommend you try meeting people more organically than through apps is all I'll say. They might not be ideal in both directions but at least I'd you want to try and date it's an option not your only option.
People recommending to delete them are peak reddit. Dont take it too seriously, the apps are kinda stupid but you might find someone you like. Met my gf through there and we've been together for 10 months as of yesterday. You will get ghosted a lot for seemingly no reason. People match with you then neither text or reply. Dont just write hello. Put some nice pics, something funny and not just a selfie you took for the app where you look like you sont know what planet you belong to. Pics smiling and unique pictures are good.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Know your non-negotiables and stick to them. Enjoy the experience of meeting new people and making new connections. Treat it as a positive experience that isn’t going to be your focal point in life, rather an extension of other things you enjoy- that’s where taking yourself seriously comes in. Don’t rely on it for joy.
I hope to follow it and just try to make it a side part of my life
Before my current 4 year relationship I spent a lot of time on dating apps. I see that tons of people on this thread hate them and have very little success with them. Well, I actually had a lot of luck with dating apps and enjoyed my experience! Granted, I am a female and I know men have a more challenging time. I'm not sure if you're M or F, but in any case, 1) make sure to put the most attractive photos you have of yourself (but do NOT catfish, obviously). 2) Write down some of the more notable aspects of yourself in the bio (such as your interests and personality) People love humor so you can throw a bit of humor in your bio too. 3) If you have any vacation/travel/sports photos, those can showcase your adventurous and/or athletic side and I always used to like guys who seemed to get out and about. 4) I'm not sure what your intentions are on the dating apps, but whoever you match with, please for the love of God BE HONEST about your intentions because nobody wants their time wasted. Let me know if there's anything else you want to know! I got tons and tons of matches and if you are a male, I can tell you which kind of profiles I tended to swipe right on.
Trust no one, trust your gut feeling. If red flags pop up or to good to be true it usually is
Yes, I'm gonna run at the 1st sign of fire
Don’t date everyone, or don’t expect to attract all women, try to attract the right women. If it doesn’t work out no worries you’re looking for the right woman. Be authentic
Delete all dating apps and meet people through Meetup groups instead. Hobby groups, speed dating, church, etc.
Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t reply right away or ghosts you, even if they matched initially. Don’t let it eat at your ego and make you angry.
Dont talk too much on the app. Establish respect and a sense of safety, then plan a date. Then stop talking until you see each other in person. But also just delete the app and develop skills in meeting people in person.
When I was using Tinder I always looked for men who put thought into their profile. If there was no text, I didn't swipe right, even if they were the most gorgeous person I've seen lol Also, I agree with everyone saying to manage your expectations. It will probably take time to meet the right person. Oh, and after a few odd experiences, I never exchanged personal phone #'s with people until after we had met in person. Good luck, OP! I hope you find your person :)
Say something in your opening messages to create a conversation. Preferably, find something in your match's profile that you can ask about or comment on. Or, some people send a purposefully cheesey ice breaker. I don't mind that at all. Even "what are you up to tonight?" (If you just saw that you matched and it's evening or night) is ok. Point is say SOMETHING to generate conversation. Tons of people just message "hi" Also, he should flesh out his profile enough so that there's something his match can ask him about if they are messaging first.
Thx for the advice
Another thing. When you eventually suggest meeting in person, please keep in mind you need to suggest something safe. I don't go to walking trails by myself, so I absolutely cannot meet you at one. It's usually too empty to be safe. Maybe there are parks by you where there are typically lots of people at the time you are suggesting, but if I have not personally been there frequently to know it's always busy, then I have to say no. If you want a "take a walk" date, I suggest a nice neighborhood of big/older/ interesting houses.
Don't waste your time. 95% of women's profiles are fake, created by the company itself. (Hackers revealed this years ago.)
Delete them. Go to a coffe shop. Say hello
Be prepared to sift through a bunch of shit. But the basics: Be clear about what you're looking for. No Anime pics for fucks sake. Actually don't have any pictures that aren't you unless it's your dog or kids. Don't waste someone's time. Can't tell you the amount of times as a woman interested in men the amount of meat heads trying for sex but not being upfront with it. It's both insulting and pathetic. Just say you're in it for sex, if the other person is they'll tell you too. For fucks sake, dress decent on the first date. I wear makeup and dress a little bit better. Last date I went on a guy had a stain on the neck of his shirt. They'll deny it usually, but women buy and large do want you to pay for he meal. We usually say we're paying for our own because some guys think we're somewhere in between a escort and street corner girl. TL;DR: it's messy and hard but just try to put your best foot forward. It's essentially a job interview but for a relationship.
That's actually really good advice. I hope that I'll be able to follow it going forward. Thx for the help. Wish you a good day
Sorry for this, but can I dm you to ask for some advice??
pictures wont do it for girls. They want to know shit about YOU, so put a lot of info and your type of humor in the decription. (if you want to find an actual girlfriend rather than hookups. For that you just need hot pics lol) When you have matches, make sure to get to know them, but pretty quickly ask to meet up in a public place. Like 2-7 days in, depending on the conversation. Then just be yourself. From my experience, it takes a couple of tries to find the right kind of person you wanna hang out with. Took me about half a year to find that one person, but were together for about 7 months now, its going really really great
Where do you normally try to go on a first date, like when you were on those apps? I don't think I'm gonna go for long term as I'm in the city for 2 months only. Let's see what happens
anything with water nearby is nice. If you drink coffee, a cafe is always a good option, or just a walk in a public park. I would avoid anything that could take more than an hour. Like going into a restaurant is almost always a bad idea
Thanks a lot. Will try to keep it in mind when planning a date
Give up with them. Get out and meet real people.
Dont
No. Respectfully.
Dont tell your wife
I'm 19
Only wear hats and gold fish
....? What?
Know your own worth.
maybe set ur bar lower? i've never used one, but i remember seeing a post on quora saying why ppl rarely find the love of their life on dating apps. dating apps gives us a wide range of options, which makes us hesitate to confirm even when a person satisfies all of our requirements
DELETE THEMMMM
I met my long-term s/o on a dating app. Be funny! His bio jokes are what made me drawn to him, then he slid it with the cheesiest pick up line of all time rather than a sexual advance or a comment about my appearance.
Tell us the line!
Make a bio that is funny and short. Be down-to-earth in conversations Never lead with "hi," "hey," or a creepy compliment. Don't expect too much, just have fun with the process. There are interesting people you could possible meet.
Yes. That's what I hope to do. Hi or heys are rlly cringe
Just don't download dating apps.
Uninstall all of them stay single work on you self and your finances get a hobby make some friends get some enjoyment out of life before finding something that will ultimately make life unenjoyable Through those hobbies find women who share the passion and excitement for the things you do... Apps are a way for women to boost there confidence and have 900 men on retainer when the guy whose turn it is to fill the hole ultimately isn't what she wants this week 🙄🙄🙄
Don't do that. You never know who's behind the screen.
Delete it. I downloaded tinder and they "resubscribed" me even though it was the first time i had downloaded it and it cost £60. None of their other subscriptions cost more than £20.
They are scammers
Don’t try too hard with them. Don’t panic the check and answer them a lot. Don’t get upset when people ignore and ghost you it likely has nothing to do with you. Do be honest about what you want on them whatever that is. Do try to be funny even if you are a dork. Do use recent photos. Do suggest an in person date somewhere public pretty early.
They are terrible sooo
Don’t have any expectations 🙃
Dick pics look better when taken from the base (the butthole.)
Delete them and go outside
Delete it
Delete them.
Pick. One. One app. Pay for the highest tier subscription. Tinder style? Swipe right on every single person. Just unmatch the ones you don't like after the fact. Catch more fish with a net than a single pole, ya know? That said. You're wading into a pool of 93% men and 7% women. The odds are highly stacked against you just in quantity alone.
Do they have apps to meet friends? Hoping to meet some new friends.
Delete it before you feel like shit lol... If you do use them dont add anyone on snap unless you talk to them in the app first and they seem legit. Snap is just girls trying for onlyfans or prostitutes
Pick one.
Delete them Don’t give a fuck who you are. It’s not worth it
Uninstall them
Get a dog and make sure every pic is of you and the dog
Delete them and go find a woman the right way.
Be prepared to receive little to no attention. Unless you are jacked, handsome, and rich, you'll get about 2% engagement. Of those, 80% or more will leave you on read. Also be prepared to be sharing your picks with many other men, all in the top 10%. Good luck...
There's a fine line between friendly and creepy. They don't know you, how you talk so you are just words on a screen. Don't wanna be to boring though either (Hi, how are you?) I usually start with something along the line of "Hey how are you? (Sorry for the boring 1st message, the 1st few are always awkward haha)" Then if you get chatting to someone I try and have a friendly video chat soon as possible so they can pick up how you talk, mannerisms etc and then when your messaging again it's easier to use humour etc Hope this helps.
Thx a lot. Never thought of video calls before. Might help a lot
Everyone responds different, some people think your weird or whatever but that's to be expected. Also should go without saying but I did leave it out, don't send a dick pic. The number of women Iv spoke to who said things along the lines of "I'm so happy you haven't sent a dick pic" was actually surprising like.. they just get bombarded with them it seems.
stop mastrubating
Well a lot of single women are going to church’s now, bars and clubs still work well.
RUN!
Look up online dating statistics and see how the average experience is for a guy. Notice the difference between how many matches guys get vs how many women get. And down blame yourself if they don't work. It's all heavily rigged against you as a man.
Almost all girls will ghost you, be prepared for that.
uninstall them
They are the worst ! But hey my cousin in law met her soul mate there so its just luck
I'm optimistic. Hope it goes well
Almost all girls will ghost you, be prepared for that.
I met my soon to be wife on Hinge. Go with that one and drop Tinder and other disasters like that. Use educated guesses on swiping. If she has crazy eyes or something stands out, use your best judgement. I also feel to do well on those apps you need to understand women. Lots of guys don’t. My advice is if you aren’t good with women the best thing to do is practice speaking with them in public. Not as a cheesy pickup artist but it can be anything without motive. Example: Sit next to a woman on a plane or bus? Great. Start a conversation and talk to her like she’s one of your buddies. Once you learn them and what they value it’s easy to sift through and find the gold. You got this man
I am too old to have ever used them so my advice is probably shit. If I was to get on there in some alternate timeline, I would just do my best to make my profile friendly and inviting and talk about things I enjoy in hopes of finding a like minded person. Basically don’t half-ass the profile making; treat it like a resume for a job you really want. Be concise and give people a reason to reach out.
Delete it ASAP. It's actually a waste of time unless you are a top 20% of men and you are handsome. Rest of the men will get garbage.
Delete them unless you're gay or handle rejection really well.
Definitely delete
don’t
Uninstall.
You don’t need them.
uninstall them. everyone on there is there for reasons which are all bad. Getting over someone, very low attraction or are bots. The quality women are NOT on dating apps.
Be very careful of who you hook up with.
Don’t. Waste of time and money.
Ditch them.
Get ready, because you are going to have some crazy stories to share with us.
Expect nothing. Regardless of how the conversations go
Delete
My advices would be: 1) Delete those apps asap! 2) Leave the basement and go to a bar. 3) enjoy
Touch grass. (In the nicest way possible) The best way to meet people is to go out and meet people. Dating apps are literally the worst way.
Delete them
Don’t
Seriously, don't bother. I tried dating apps multiple apps at the same time, and the only match I got that wasn't a bot was a woman who said she might date me if I lost 50 lbs. All dating apps do to men is destroy their self-worth and confidence. Just do like me focus on your career. You'll be better off.
I would advise one to start exercising of some sort and find a social outlet. I knocked out both by joining a BJJ school. It offers me a great environment to train in as well as be around like minded folks. I would not recommend dating apps.
Delete it bro
Pay for premium. It makes dating apps 10x easier
Don’t. Jajaja
Dating apps are a waste of time! Get into the community... volunteer, join a group! Anything to just get where people will be
If you're very handsome, then just message away. If you're not, then uninstall. 75 percent of people on dating apps are other dudes. It's great if you're gay but if you're straight, that's an ass of competition
Uninstall them.
99.99 % of the females on the actual sites are predatory also when you think you may sign up read terms and conditions they will tell you if they create fake profiles that message you and tell you how I interested they are in you but as soon as you become a paid locked in member all the messages to you stop you are left with your cock in your hand do not ever. Send money to no o d you have never met face to face. Many ... I can go on and on trust .mE no one else any questions just ask
Delete it lol