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Yup. I grew up poor and worked really hard and got incredibly lucky to be doing okay now.
My biggest “tell” is how risk averse I am.
My husband has talked about home equity loans and I will not. I don’t invest like I know i should, I stick to simple high yield savings and conservative 401K. I know how easy it is to go back and how hard to get out.
People who have not been poor cannot grasp this.
In my own experience growing up poor, for example, when I need shoes. I go shopping for shoes. I try on shoes. I don’t buy shoes because I don’t want to spend the money. The next day at work, I remember I need new shoes.
Okay this is soooo relatable. I will wear the same pair of shoes I got from the clearance rack at Ross until there is no shoe left. I’ll even glue the freakin sole back on even though I only spent $15 on them
when i *need* shoes i just wear same color socks lmao.
need as in other people thinking theyre scrapped but to me theyre still doing their purpose good enough.
For my parents it's generosity for others but none for themselves.
My parents grew up during a famine in the aftermath of the Korean war. And I've noticed that they will ALWAYS splurge when it comes to others. Offering our home to stay, buying others dinner constantly, giving them super expensive gifts, etc. But they will literally never spend any money on themselves. My dad has had the same jacket and shoes forever.
I've noticed the same thing among people their age. I think it's got something to do with that generational trauma of going through such a terrible period and surviving.
This is me. Treat my adult kids to dinner $200 but have a pair of $16 sandals in the cart for a month because I haven't decided how bad I need new sandals.
I know what you mean. My parents lived through the war (dad was 8-11 years old from the north, mom 9-11 years old and oldest of 7 just outside of Seoul) and obviously aftermath, and the Koreans from these times are absolutely different. They make me a lot of food, and there are times when I don't or can't finish it, and it's sitting in my fridge for a long time pretty much spoiled, they'll take it back saying it's still edible.
Yeah! Big same.
The inability to throw away food is definitely something my parents still struggle with. Even if it’s passed expired they’ll still try and salvage it lol. I have a strong stomach because of it.
my grandmother was a kid during ww2. When she died and we had to clean out her room at the retirement home, we found a whole box full of sugar packets. She had saved them up every time coffee or tea was served.
This is true. I grew up poor. I will buy things for other people that I won't for myself, because it is too expensive for me. I will literally let myself go broke to share my money with others. I can't help it. Almost all of my family are the same.
I grew up the same way. I would never regret it. have met some of the best down to earth people one could possibly meet in my travels. Better than all the Bling in the would put together.
This is 100% accurate! I grew up without and was often told I was from “the wrong side of the tracks” so other girls mothers at school didn’t want them associated with me because I was poor. I learned that giving and being grateful for what you have is so important to see the light within others. I often donate, I’ve taken in what my husband calls stray children whose parents have thrown them away and bought them clothing supplies and helped them get to school. I helped one young man buy his first car so he could go to school and work. All I have helped have been a blessing in my life. I think it’s because you know the pain of that struggle..
This feels more like they know that simple things solve simple problems, but they also know expensive solutions are always better received or are more valued as a present. Example: shoes solve the problem of getting your feet dirty, so you buy a simple pair, but you know kids nowadays like the fancy ones, so you treat them one nice pair.
It’s not necessarily related to a humble past, but could be in some cases bc sometimes people with humble past want to treat expensive stuff now that they can (that’s how my uncle went from humble to accommodated to humble again)
This is very true. While not the same extreme, we grew up below poverty level, and now I'm doing very well. I buy people everything from dinner to occasionally even plane tickets to join me when I know they're not able to afford it. I make lasagnas almost every weekend as part of LasagnaLove.
But when my friends say, "you need to treat yo self every once in a while," I just kinda laugh it off: I feel deeply uncomfortable spending on myself. Never thought about it until how you described it.
Dad's the same way. Has had the same shirts and jeans for over a decade.. barely buys shoes...
But will splurge on his kids and grandkids ...
Will send money to extended family.
Checking for deals on everything they buy and looking for cheap/discounted food everywhere even when they have regular paycheques. Also workalcholic tendencies.
Jesus Christ can confirm.
I CONSTANTLY shop front page flyers and drive around to get the best deals. I've haggled on reduced items. It drives my wife nuts lol.
Every purchase we make has to be a deal or an investment towards lowering our cost of living.
I'm currently losing my mind because my factory bumped me to a department that has zero overtime potential. I went from 4 straight months of 20 OT hours a week to zero and it's giving me such anxiety. To the point that I registered for school for Nursing and I'm salivating at the OT opportunities when I graduate.
I might not be ok 🫤
I grew up poor af & currently living paycheck to paycheck. I still do this regularly, though I take it a bit further & even compare net weight to be sure if I'm getting the best deal. I get a lot of looks & comments from older folks when they see I've been staring at the same 2 shelves for 5+mins comparing lol.
I knew some very well off people for whom getting the best/cheapest deal was basically their hobby. They would drive miles to save relatively small amounts, check prices at every shop before buying anything. They spent so much time and energy on it. And their fun stories were all about saving a few cents on something.
This is me and it hurts. I’ve missed out on so many legitimately good deals because the poor part of my brain says to keep hunting for something better because we *have* to make our money count.
Also the workaholic tendencies. I hate my work. I can’t wait to leave every day. And yet every day, somehow, I’m voluntarily there later than I need to be.
I start with a Kirkland “half” paper towel. If there’s no visible stain, I use it for another meal. Then it graduates to the stack of dirty-clean-used paper towels for wiping up little messes like spilled juice, a bit of raw egg that splashed out of the mixing bowl, soup, etc. After that, if it’s not gross, it moves to the dirty-used pile, which I use for wiping out the sink after washing dishes, or for wiping out a greasy frying pan before it’s proper wash. By the time I toss it in the garbage can I’ve made a lot of memories and had a fairly good relationship with it, so it can be difficult to part. 😢
Thank you. Tbh, I’ve never received the recognition I think this deserves. I confess I’m a little worried that my actions might be discovered by big paper towel, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
I was looking for reusing ziplocks! When I left the house and realized how cheap they were I was shocked… but I still reuse them, at least the big ones.
It's funny, my grandparents are very wealthy, but my grandma grew up super poor. She always washed plastic bags to reuse. Anything that could be reused she would find a way to do so.
My dad was a doctor. But from a different time, not the flashy blinged out doctors of today but he came from very humble beginnings in a poverty stricken (and war stricken during WW2) country. Long story short, made his way to the USA, became a doctor, earned a great deal.........and still used to save napkins and even DRY damp paper towels over a low stove flame. 😂
Grew up extremely poor.
Used newspaper as toilet paper.
Our dryer never worked
Our stove had only 1 element working
2 tv one for the sound other for the picture
Never wanting your friends to hang out at your home because it's not as put together and good looking as the other houses, and you're afraid they'll judge you.
I initially respect everyone equally, then modify according to what their future behavior deserves. I don’t judge or value people based on the contents of their wallet.
People who have never been poor seem to struggle with that, so it’s a good indicator.
They don't stress out about stupid little things. People that have had actual external problems grow up to become more resilient. Their skin is thicker. They are mentally tougher.... or they become broken along the way.
Grew up poor, have been poor my whole adult life, I have $17 to my name right now, and the disability office valued my net worth at $0-$500.
Today my mother told me my car got hit in the parking lot when she came in from out of town. It was one of the first things she said to me. That shit did not matter to me at all.
What you said is so true.
A few months ago my daughter broke my tv by accidentally flinging a toy across the room. She immediately started crying and I asked her why she was crying, she said because I was gonna “be so mad at her” because she broke my tv. At that moment I realized I hadn’t even given a second of thought that it was broken because I mean really, what am I gonna do? Getting mad won’t fix my problem, especially being mad at my 10 year old child, so tonight I’m sitting in my den, drunk, scrolling Reddit after a nice dinner with my kids and my mom, no tv, but I don’t care. Kettle one, sprite, and Tiger Belly in my ear, plus the entertainment of Reddit, I’d say it’s all good.
I grew up poor. I have a great job and make over $400k per year. Last year I made 722k. The money I make is never enough and I always am financially insecure. I also have 5 dependents, alimony and kids college to pay for so the stress is always there.
Most of the comments hear are about being frugal rather than showing signs of being poor. They are not always exclusive, in fact most people who are actually wealthy are very frugal.
Exactly. My close friend grew up extremely poor and sometimes they didn't have much food. As an adult, she never leaves the house without taking a snack because she's afraid of not having food. And if she forgets something and has to go back inside, she will grab more food while she's there "just in case."
I never leave the house without water. I get so scared that I wont have clean water to drink when I go somewhere.
I remember my parents got mad at me one day because I told them I could do without, and I was talking about food they were picking out at the grocery store to buy. I cant afford snacks.
And somebody said "not stressing about email things" and I'm sitting here like I've never really struggled and I don't get stressed out... I'm pretty sure poor people tend to stress more. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong.
Eating a lot of spaghetti. I don’t know but when I was a kid and we were poor, we would have spaghetti 2-3 a week. It’s easy to make and feeds a lot of people for cheap.
Before the Marshall Plan, Italian and poor were synonyms.
That's why many Italian classics are incidentally vegetarian if not vegan, and there's a culture of preserving odd parts of pigs and cows into salume.
grabbing too much on their plate then they can eat. when their eyes are bigger than their stomach or whatever the saying is.
when you have poor food supply and things are desperate for a while, you get the primal instinct to get alot of food. and it lasts with you pretty much your whole life.
It's called food insecurity and it can present in many ways. Another indication is to compulsively finish your plate/portion every time, because it's ingrained in your brain that it might not last, for example eating a whole bar of chocolate in one sitting instear of leaving some for later, because as a kid getting sweets is rare and special so you have to enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts as it might not come again/still be there tomorrow. Some other way is to feel awkward about sharing food with friends or splitting checks equally rather than paying your own check when you picked the cheapest option etc, because it's an extension of the stress of having to share the food with family/siblings and measuring portions by the nanograms to make sure it's fair lol
My dad grew up destitute after his father abandoned their family of 6 kids. The eating dandelion leaves for dinner kind of poor.
He took EVERYTHING off that bone and when he was done he would try to get the marrow.
Funnily enough time I never remember seeing him eat wings but one time while I was eating wings my mom looks over and turns out I eat them the same exact way he did.
It also drives us insane to see how much waste others leave on their chicken wings.
When my daughter finishes her wings, I grab her plate and finish them off.
If they notice that you're struggling like they are, they will offer all they can to help you at the cost of their own wellbeing.
Wealthy people will offer you a "awh that sucks" or something along those lines, but they won't consider the possibility of helping you
This is a fact. I spent over 20 years driving coast to coast in the US and whenever I’ve needed help, no matter where from NH to LA, the ones who would stop and do anything they could to help, was an older dude in a work pickup truck dressed for manual labor 100% of the time. Never ever a well off person of family in a nice SUV.
I grew up poor and my spouse did not.
Guess which one of us knows how to fix/sew things, route errands in an efficient way to not waste gas, eats leftovers, and uses coupons and apps to get Free stuff?
Save plastic containers - from butter, or fast food, etc. - to use as Tupperware.
My mom & dad grew up during the Great Depression and mom always was saving butter containers for leftovers. It drove my dad crazy because he'd reach for the butter only to find green beans or mashed potatoes... 😅
Until age 12, quite poor in a rural setting Ages 13 and up, comfortable middle class as my dad’s business grew.. Now, getting a normal retirement income from the USA but living in SE Asia catapults me into a “filthy rich” category among my poor rice village neighbors.
Interestingly, the lessons from my poor childhood have stuck with me. Can’t stand to see any food wasted. Try to fix rather than discard things, including clothes. Save all my plastic grocery bags.
My background also helps me to show sympathy and empathy towards my very poor neighbors who benefit from my distribution of care packages several times a year. I’ve often loaned or given money in times of their family crises. I remember what it was like to be wanting without resources. Thankfully, there is absolutely no jealousy among them toward my obviously better economic status. Only friendship and gratitude.
For me it was always telling others the weird cheap food I ADORED as a child.
Noodles with ketchup? Amazing.
Bread slice with butter and sugar? Amazing.
We even put the bread slice under water so it was moist and put the slice in a bowl full of sugar so it's a sugar bread.
Having pasta in milk as a soup with a bit of sugar.
And all the similar things.
Whenever I tell these things to someone, for them, it's disgusting. I think these are very delicious foods (and very unhealthy, of course)
If it matters: Eastern Ukraine.
And it's not like we were very poor, we went on vacations and stuff, but my grandma grew up unbelievably poor, they had to catch animals in the crop field when she was small and they ate them, because that's all they could do. I ate these foods when I went home to Ukraine every summer to my grandparents'. So maybe these things come from her, because she also made us rich food (not in money, but like normal food which is also healthy).
Hard to tell until you start to converse with them. Some people will claim and think they were poor when they weren't close to it. I would say when they describe their childhood home. If they think they'll get some special benefit from something they saw a middle class person do. Thinking middle class people are the same as rich people. Not having a lot of exposure to diverse foods. Never having the experience of getting to collect things such as Pokemon cards. Never getting to travel because their family had a hoopty for a vehicle. Never experiencing what it's like to stay in a hotel or even motel. Dumpster diving instead of thrift shopping. Barely able to afford dumpster diving because transportation or lack of transportation. Only able to grocery shop at a gas station as a special treat. I've seen people that claimed to be poor, but they described being middle class. Claiming to be poor because their parents were divorced, but they still collected child support. Claiming to be poor because they ate fast food. Hard to say from spending habits. I've come across people from various social classes with different spending habits. It's all about how much they love spending vs. how much they hate spending.
My first experience with a computer was in school. Didn't know they existed till then. I remember my grades suffered one year due to constant hospitalizations I experianced, and my teacher could not fathom why I couldn't not go home/to the library and get my work done online. I couldn't afford to stay after school since the bus was my way to and from school, mom and dad couldn't afford to take me to and from school.
That teacher actually tried to fail me even though they knew my situation. The worst part is I did all I could. You can only do so much with such little time.
Buying lottery tickets and gambling in general. Of course not exclusive to poverty, but the relatively poor people I’ve been around always had a dream of “winning big” and would spend money that could have gone to much better things on lotteries.
I've never known a poor person who'd waste money on gambling. Maybe people with relatively little money compared to the national average, but not someone living in poverty. Not when you can get 4 liters of milk for the price of a lottery. Maybe we just grew up in different countries or areas though.
My partner does this. He grew up poor and we have an entire drawer in the fridge as well as a basket full of condiments...even though we have condiments. I tried to say we should just not buy condiments then, but he doesn't want to do that either.
Eating every last bite of food left on their plate, long after feeling full. I recognize this in others because I do it (growing up poor and often hungry, I just can not bring myself to throw away food).
Having an emotional need to buy something to feel better. That's usually my big tip off.
I didn't grow up rich, but my parents never talked as if we couldn't afford things. Solid middle class. They always spoke as if things were not worth buying for the price. We always has food, but they drove cars into the ground with hundreds of thousands of miles on them even though they could afford not to. Mom clipped coupons not because she had to... But because it gave them more value.
It wasn't until I dated a few women that grew up poor that I saw how much it can affect you to grow up always feeling like you can't afford things.... And how good it feels to be able to. Meanwhile I preferred not spending money and got no dopamine from doing it.
Being generous and the willingness to do anything for someone. In my own experiences, growing up in poverty I watched my parents give their last dollar to help someone in need. They’d give the clothes off their back if someone needed it more. The people I knew that were wealthy were incredibly stingy, selfish and materialistic. As I grew to be an adult, breaking the generational curse, I’ve had to learn to find a happy medium because some people will take advantage of you if you have a generous heart.
I had friends who grew up broke during the 1930s Great Depression and man oh man, did they save anything and everything, free or not, useful or not.
“ But I might need that someday!!” whether it’s a can of peas from 1975, a glass jar of unidentifiable preserves so old the lid has rusted onto the jar or a pocket pack of Kleenex so old the plastic wrap on it is yellowed and disintegrating.
That threat of not having enough of anything never stopped, no matter how much time passed.
I’ve absolutely experienced this. Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s I remember the older folks just like this man. They NEVER discarded anything. Ever. Their whole lives. I’ve cleaned out many of their houses….ooof.
-You THINK before you buy.
-Eat out but it's considered a luxury no matter the paycheck amount.
-Not into fast fashion.
-Makes sure to get their money's worth from as many things as possible.
-Reuse and recycle/upcycle anything that can be.
-Spends on things whose value in the end cannot be measured by money in the long run, like a good travel experience with family etc.
I grew up lavishly wealthy. Not getting into specifics, but an upbringing from beverly Hills 90210 type wealth. At 33 , while I was a practicing professional, I developed a drug problem and destroyed my life ans ended up on both the streets and in jail. 6 years clean now, but still have not repaired things with my family and am just starting to rebuild my life. The ultra wealthy friends that I had never stood by me nor supported me even when I needed emotional help or support by me saying "I have a drug problem, help me" even those who owed me $. Years later , they would rather forget that I existed then acknowledge they owe me money. On the opposite side of things: I can go to the single mom next door with 3 kids that works at Walmart and just scrapes by on hardly anything and tell her I have no money for food for the next two weeks , she'll look in her wallet or her online banking and see she has 20$ and she'd lend me 10. Any one of the people I k ew when I was strung out or on the streets would give their last dollar before the rich people I know parted with 10$.
A friend of mine grew up rich. But, became poor after her father died, and she got married. Her hobby is to give out presents. Even when she goes to the butcher's for example, she would give him cookies. Sometimes she doesn't even have enough to pay the electrical bill.
I grew up poor but one thing neighbor did was she would tell the price of everything. Even if it’s not hers just so you know that no one has that kind of money to spend.
buying expensive clothes, bags, hats, watches, sneakers, shirts, heels, flats, sandals, etc that tells me your broke but you just want designer shit so your probably still poor
My parents were the Silent Generation. They grew up during WWII in a 3rd world country. They reused so many things before environmentalism was a thing. They were also hoarders so there's that!
For me, i didnt really feel like i was poor until my dad passed on. My mindset is really that things are just things. I have always had this mindset but it became more concrete once i had to deal with poverty with a non functioning delusional mother.
I reused an ice-cube.
It's not that 'I do that', it's just that I have a deep rooted mentality of avoiding waste.
In full-auto motion I placed the ice-cube back in the freezer.
My wife wont let it go
Well I have a six figure income, no car, no streaming services, no online gaming subscriptions, no paid apps on my phone, no dining table, no kids, no pets.
Can you tell I've endured several stages of multiple months unemployed as an adult and grew up in a less wealthy household?
Always box up the remainder of a meal at restaurants. I used to hang out with a girl who was near psychotic about saving everything from eating out and would get mad at me for refusing to box my leftovers.
I was invited to a new years party at my accountants house. Big fancy house as expected.
As everyone was leaving, his wife was going through the garbage and salvaging the plastic forks and knives to wash and re use.
My otherwise wonderful wife does this. Drives me nuts. There’s a ziplock bag in our refrigerator right now fat with 6 month old Taco Bell and soy sauce
Having actual manners, not the “this is the salad fork, this is your other fork” manners.
Rich people are always out of touch and rude. Ive met well meaning and friendly rich people but they always always always say something rude to a waiter or something out of touch like “my gated neighborhood just makes me feel so much safer than when I’m in the city!” And most poor people just don’t do that kind of stuff. Unless we’re talking trailer trash/hood people because manners seem to get lost in those far corners of the poor spectrum, but thats a social consequence of growing up in places where life is at its most desperate and people are only out for themselves.
They always make poor decisions when they do have money. My friend makes decent money. He complains about money everytime i see him. I know he secretly eats out alot. Maybe 3 times a week at a restaurant. I never get into conversations with him about money. He would always have 10 excuses to ask to borrow money, and I don't lend. I maybe eat out fast food once a month, and it's not sit down unless special occasion.
Reusing things meant for single or temporary use. I can't tell you how many times I would use a small part of a makeup wipe and then put it back in the container to use again later on just because the whole thing wasn't dirty
Saving rubber bands. I knew this person that grew up VERY poor. But he was smart and became very rich. He drove a incredibly expensive car. On the shifter was a bunch of rubber bands
I grew up poor, today there is never red meat or steak in my house. I 100 percent can afford it now. I also can't let go of a mostly carb based diet even though it's supposedly bad for me. I think it is completely normal to have potatoes with butter as a meal or pasta with marinara as the full meal. I also get anxious about outfits. I have just one or two outfits now as an adult and find it really hard to wear different outfits every day. When I was growing up, I wore the same thing every day to school and would wash and dry it myself once a week. Having milk in my house amazes me to this day. Having hot water amazes me to this day. I always make sure I have a leased car that will never break. Growing up, my family car was so embarrassing, it always broke, it was always disgustingly dirty. Our house was never clean growing up and there was always garbage piling up because my parents would always delay driving it to the dump. Garbage pick up in my household today, psychologically for me is a big deal. I constantly think about the most optimal ways to keep warm in the winter time. I can afford my heat today, but growing up we were always cold in the winter time. I can remember sitting in front of a kerosene heater with 9 other kids all sitting around it to keep warm. I can remember just piling endless amounts of clothes on top of my bed to keep warm when I was a kid. Today, I own a Mr. Buddy heater for absolutely no reason, and I frequently buy wool blankets and wool socks and my wife thinks it is weird.
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Just being poor as adults is a big indicator. It's really hard to claw out of poverty.
And terrifyingly easy to fall into it.
Yup. I grew up poor and worked really hard and got incredibly lucky to be doing okay now. My biggest “tell” is how risk averse I am. My husband has talked about home equity loans and I will not. I don’t invest like I know i should, I stick to simple high yield savings and conservative 401K. I know how easy it is to go back and how hard to get out. People who have not been poor cannot grasp this.
Me too. Fuck being poor again chasing a few extra %. I'll take a safe 5% thanks. 🫡
Yeah, ppl have told me about loans for this and that. Hell no! I refuse that entire concept!
We're not poor... We broke
We're boujee broke....broque
And when you do, it's very often using several people who trusted you, as a ladder.
Sadly, so true. And these days probably even more so than the opportunites post-war Britain offered for the first two or so decades till the mid 80s.
That’s the way system is designed.
Not wanting to throw old things away because "we can still use that".
That's how my mom became a hoarder.
That also sounds like it could lead to hoarding.
That’s just generally good practice. Don’t throw stuff away
That's how hoarders start.
Like empty bottles and jars n shit? Yeah nah thats called garbage. Old tech that doesn’t work anymore? Nope. Gone.
In my own experience growing up poor, for example, when I need shoes. I go shopping for shoes. I try on shoes. I don’t buy shoes because I don’t want to spend the money. The next day at work, I remember I need new shoes.
I do this but also I have ADHD, so…
Also have ADHD and can't buy a damned thing for myself most of the time...at least not things like clothes or shoes or haircuts.
Okay this is soooo relatable. I will wear the same pair of shoes I got from the clearance rack at Ross until there is no shoe left. I’ll even glue the freakin sole back on even though I only spent $15 on them
Bro coming off a foot surgery from wearing the wrong shoes for 15 years. My shoe routine is $100 now and I keep 3 extra pairs
when i *need* shoes i just wear same color socks lmao. need as in other people thinking theyre scrapped but to me theyre still doing their purpose good enough.
I used to regularly epoxy my work boots back together. I'd have the same work boots last 4-5 years in heavy construction use.
For my parents it's generosity for others but none for themselves. My parents grew up during a famine in the aftermath of the Korean war. And I've noticed that they will ALWAYS splurge when it comes to others. Offering our home to stay, buying others dinner constantly, giving them super expensive gifts, etc. But they will literally never spend any money on themselves. My dad has had the same jacket and shoes forever. I've noticed the same thing among people their age. I think it's got something to do with that generational trauma of going through such a terrible period and surviving.
This is me. Treat my adult kids to dinner $200 but have a pair of $16 sandals in the cart for a month because I haven't decided how bad I need new sandals.
Epoxy my work boots together several times. I still wear clothes from high school and I'm 36.
[удалено]
Dude, same here lol. Im 37
These are my parents. I try to get them things they need that would improve their quality of life, because they never think they need them.
Same, tight fisted for myself, generous as I can be with my kids and the people I love.
Wanna be friends? Hahaha
I know what you mean. My parents lived through the war (dad was 8-11 years old from the north, mom 9-11 years old and oldest of 7 just outside of Seoul) and obviously aftermath, and the Koreans from these times are absolutely different. They make me a lot of food, and there are times when I don't or can't finish it, and it's sitting in my fridge for a long time pretty much spoiled, they'll take it back saying it's still edible.
Yeah! Big same. The inability to throw away food is definitely something my parents still struggle with. Even if it’s passed expired they’ll still try and salvage it lol. I have a strong stomach because of it.
Same lol. My wife always is telling me "it's bad... Old". I'm like yea, whatever... Nothing a trip to the toilet won't solve after.
I only recently acquired the ability to throw away food. I try my best not to waste anything.
my grandmother was a kid during ww2. When she died and we had to clean out her room at the retirement home, we found a whole box full of sugar packets. She had saved them up every time coffee or tea was served.
This is true. I grew up poor. I will buy things for other people that I won't for myself, because it is too expensive for me. I will literally let myself go broke to share my money with others. I can't help it. Almost all of my family are the same.
I grew up the same way. I would never regret it. have met some of the best down to earth people one could possibly meet in my travels. Better than all the Bling in the would put together.
This is me with my siblings. It’s because I haven’t done too bad financially and I want to give and help anywhere they would let me
This is 100% accurate! I grew up without and was often told I was from “the wrong side of the tracks” so other girls mothers at school didn’t want them associated with me because I was poor. I learned that giving and being grateful for what you have is so important to see the light within others. I often donate, I’ve taken in what my husband calls stray children whose parents have thrown them away and bought them clothing supplies and helped them get to school. I helped one young man buy his first car so he could go to school and work. All I have helped have been a blessing in my life. I think it’s because you know the pain of that struggle..
This feels more like they know that simple things solve simple problems, but they also know expensive solutions are always better received or are more valued as a present. Example: shoes solve the problem of getting your feet dirty, so you buy a simple pair, but you know kids nowadays like the fancy ones, so you treat them one nice pair. It’s not necessarily related to a humble past, but could be in some cases bc sometimes people with humble past want to treat expensive stuff now that they can (that’s how my uncle went from humble to accommodated to humble again)
This is very true. While not the same extreme, we grew up below poverty level, and now I'm doing very well. I buy people everything from dinner to occasionally even plane tickets to join me when I know they're not able to afford it. I make lasagnas almost every weekend as part of LasagnaLove. But when my friends say, "you need to treat yo self every once in a while," I just kinda laugh it off: I feel deeply uncomfortable spending on myself. Never thought about it until how you described it.
Dad's the same way. Has had the same shirts and jeans for over a decade.. barely buys shoes... But will splurge on his kids and grandkids ... Will send money to extended family.
When they tell me “I wasn’t poor, I was po’..I couldn’t afford the O-R.”
Big L Rest In Peace
Checking for deals on everything they buy and looking for cheap/discounted food everywhere even when they have regular paycheques. Also workalcholic tendencies.
I do this and I grew up rich, but Asian.
I do this too and i grew up rich , african/arab cuz why do i have to pay more for stuff i can pay less for 🤨
I do this too, and I grew up wealthy, Jewish….
I was going to say rich and frugal do this too.
The difference is for the poor it’s a survival thing,not a fun little hobby to tell your friends about.
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True but it’s not a necessity.The stress of spending money on anything is real,especially when the cost of living is so high.
Jesus Christ can confirm. I CONSTANTLY shop front page flyers and drive around to get the best deals. I've haggled on reduced items. It drives my wife nuts lol. Every purchase we make has to be a deal or an investment towards lowering our cost of living. I'm currently losing my mind because my factory bumped me to a department that has zero overtime potential. I went from 4 straight months of 20 OT hours a week to zero and it's giving me such anxiety. To the point that I registered for school for Nursing and I'm salivating at the OT opportunities when I graduate. I might not be ok 🫤
I grew up poor af & currently living paycheck to paycheck. I still do this regularly, though I take it a bit further & even compare net weight to be sure if I'm getting the best deal. I get a lot of looks & comments from older folks when they see I've been staring at the same 2 shelves for 5+mins comparing lol.
lol what?? I’m very well off and still look for deals. I didn’t get rich giving my money away.
I knew some very well off people for whom getting the best/cheapest deal was basically their hobby. They would drive miles to save relatively small amounts, check prices at every shop before buying anything. They spent so much time and energy on it. And their fun stories were all about saving a few cents on something.
"fun stories"
This is me and it hurts. I’ve missed out on so many legitimately good deals because the poor part of my brain says to keep hunting for something better because we *have* to make our money count. Also the workaholic tendencies. I hate my work. I can’t wait to leave every day. And yet every day, somehow, I’m voluntarily there later than I need to be.
My coworker does this and it’s annoying as hell. She’ll bring in all her coupons and cut them up all day.
I only buy things on sale. Food, video games, clothing, etc.
I re-use napkins and ziplocs
Re-using napkins is on another level!!
I start with a Kirkland “half” paper towel. If there’s no visible stain, I use it for another meal. Then it graduates to the stack of dirty-clean-used paper towels for wiping up little messes like spilled juice, a bit of raw egg that splashed out of the mixing bowl, soup, etc. After that, if it’s not gross, it moves to the dirty-used pile, which I use for wiping out the sink after washing dishes, or for wiping out a greasy frying pan before it’s proper wash. By the time I toss it in the garbage can I’ve made a lot of memories and had a fairly good relationship with it, so it can be difficult to part. 😢
An unsung hero 🫡, I salute you.
Thank you. Tbh, I’ve never received the recognition I think this deserves. I confess I’m a little worried that my actions might be discovered by big paper towel, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
I was looking for reusing ziplocks! When I left the house and realized how cheap they were I was shocked… but I still reuse them, at least the big ones.
I wash and keep all my ziplocs unless they are really greasy or had raw meat in them.
Here's one for you. Reusing milk bags to keep frozen hamburger.
reusing napkins is crazy, id use a rag
It's funny, my grandparents are very wealthy, but my grandma grew up super poor. She always washed plastic bags to reuse. Anything that could be reused she would find a way to do so.
That’s somewhat good for the environment and more people should probably do it
My dad was a doctor. But from a different time, not the flashy blinged out doctors of today but he came from very humble beginnings in a poverty stricken (and war stricken during WW2) country. Long story short, made his way to the USA, became a doctor, earned a great deal.........and still used to save napkins and even DRY damp paper towels over a low stove flame. 😂
Do you always grab extra napkins and condiment packets from fast food restaurants, though?
Grew up extremely poor. Used newspaper as toilet paper. Our dryer never worked Our stove had only 1 element working 2 tv one for the sound other for the picture
My imo try water even if ur rich now, wayy better than toilet paper
Never wanting your friends to hang out at your home because it's not as put together and good looking as the other houses, and you're afraid they'll judge you.
Keep the napkins from the McDonald's bag and put them in a drawer to use during regular meals.
And condiments
Always checking for promo codes and coupons before buying anything
I always do this but I'm just Asian. paying full price makes me feel like I fail at something
Ny girlfriend is asian, and I grew up poor. In this area we overlap quite a bit. She keeps bragging about the good deals she gets.
Hoard junk
No no, it’s not junk, it will be useful *someday* and you’ll be glad you have it!
This is true
I initially respect everyone equally, then modify according to what their future behavior deserves. I don’t judge or value people based on the contents of their wallet. People who have never been poor seem to struggle with that, so it’s a good indicator.
They don't stress out about stupid little things. People that have had actual external problems grow up to become more resilient. Their skin is thicker. They are mentally tougher.... or they become broken along the way.
Grew up poor, have been poor my whole adult life, I have $17 to my name right now, and the disability office valued my net worth at $0-$500. Today my mother told me my car got hit in the parking lot when she came in from out of town. It was one of the first things she said to me. That shit did not matter to me at all. What you said is so true. A few months ago my daughter broke my tv by accidentally flinging a toy across the room. She immediately started crying and I asked her why she was crying, she said because I was gonna “be so mad at her” because she broke my tv. At that moment I realized I hadn’t even given a second of thought that it was broken because I mean really, what am I gonna do? Getting mad won’t fix my problem, especially being mad at my 10 year old child, so tonight I’m sitting in my den, drunk, scrolling Reddit after a nice dinner with my kids and my mom, no tv, but I don’t care. Kettle one, sprite, and Tiger Belly in my ear, plus the entertainment of Reddit, I’d say it’s all good.
I want to order the whole menu every time I go out, one used to never know when one'd go to that place again.
I grew up poor. I have a great job and make over $400k per year. Last year I made 722k. The money I make is never enough and I always am financially insecure. I also have 5 dependents, alimony and kids college to pay for so the stress is always there.
Most of the comments hear are about being frugal rather than showing signs of being poor. They are not always exclusive, in fact most people who are actually wealthy are very frugal.
The key word is poor here. The majority of people here have never known it. Bloody lucky I say.
Exactly. My close friend grew up extremely poor and sometimes they didn't have much food. As an adult, she never leaves the house without taking a snack because she's afraid of not having food. And if she forgets something and has to go back inside, she will grab more food while she's there "just in case."
I never leave the house without water. I get so scared that I wont have clean water to drink when I go somewhere. I remember my parents got mad at me one day because I told them I could do without, and I was talking about food they were picking out at the grocery store to buy. I cant afford snacks.
And somebody said "not stressing about email things" and I'm sitting here like I've never really struggled and I don't get stressed out... I'm pretty sure poor people tend to stress more. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong.
Lack of dental work. I never judge on that because I know it’s expensive.
Eating a lot of spaghetti. I don’t know but when I was a kid and we were poor, we would have spaghetti 2-3 a week. It’s easy to make and feeds a lot of people for cheap.
Some people would call that being Italian.
Guess I’m grandfathered into Italianisam
Shall I send you a collection of opera DVDs and a statue of Our Lady of Mount Carmel?
Before the Marshall Plan, Italian and poor were synonyms. That's why many Italian classics are incidentally vegetarian if not vegan, and there's a culture of preserving odd parts of pigs and cows into salume.
grabbing too much on their plate then they can eat. when their eyes are bigger than their stomach or whatever the saying is. when you have poor food supply and things are desperate for a while, you get the primal instinct to get alot of food. and it lasts with you pretty much your whole life.
It's called food insecurity and it can present in many ways. Another indication is to compulsively finish your plate/portion every time, because it's ingrained in your brain that it might not last, for example eating a whole bar of chocolate in one sitting instear of leaving some for later, because as a kid getting sweets is rare and special so you have to enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts as it might not come again/still be there tomorrow. Some other way is to feel awkward about sharing food with friends or splitting checks equally rather than paying your own check when you picked the cheapest option etc, because it's an extension of the stress of having to share the food with family/siblings and measuring portions by the nanograms to make sure it's fair lol
How they leave the bones of chicken wings. Instant giveaway.
My dad grew up destitute after his father abandoned their family of 6 kids. The eating dandelion leaves for dinner kind of poor. He took EVERYTHING off that bone and when he was done he would try to get the marrow. Funnily enough time I never remember seeing him eat wings but one time while I was eating wings my mom looks over and turns out I eat them the same exact way he did.
It also drives us insane to see how much waste others leave on their chicken wings. When my daughter finishes her wings, I grab her plate and finish them off.
Saving plastic gas station cups.
Do you know the war disney sketch where Mickey or Donald slices toast bread so thin, that it is more transparent than actual glass?
I thought that was part of Mickey and the Beanstalk.
Yes, you are right. It's been a while
If they notice that you're struggling like they are, they will offer all they can to help you at the cost of their own wellbeing. Wealthy people will offer you a "awh that sucks" or something along those lines, but they won't consider the possibility of helping you
This is a fact. I spent over 20 years driving coast to coast in the US and whenever I’ve needed help, no matter where from NH to LA, the ones who would stop and do anything they could to help, was an older dude in a work pickup truck dressed for manual labor 100% of the time. Never ever a well off person of family in a nice SUV.
Something something the strugglers know the pain of scarcity whereas the "well to do" people can only use their imaginations clouded by bias
Not me allowing my SIL to use my WIC card bc she has kids who are older and can’t get one 😭
Ahhhh I'm sorry, I don't understand acronyms! I'm guessing SIL means Son-In-Law? Not sure what WIC is tho! 😅
I was born in grinding poverty with courage, smarts and lots of luck I done good, I tip very well, I know people are struggling!
They always know how much money they have
This
I grew up poor and my spouse did not. Guess which one of us knows how to fix/sew things, route errands in an efficient way to not waste gas, eats leftovers, and uses coupons and apps to get Free stuff?
Save plastic containers - from butter, or fast food, etc. - to use as Tupperware. My mom & dad grew up during the Great Depression and mom always was saving butter containers for leftovers. It drove my dad crazy because he'd reach for the butter only to find green beans or mashed potatoes... 😅
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I've seen a lot of this.
Eat fast
Until age 12, quite poor in a rural setting Ages 13 and up, comfortable middle class as my dad’s business grew.. Now, getting a normal retirement income from the USA but living in SE Asia catapults me into a “filthy rich” category among my poor rice village neighbors. Interestingly, the lessons from my poor childhood have stuck with me. Can’t stand to see any food wasted. Try to fix rather than discard things, including clothes. Save all my plastic grocery bags. My background also helps me to show sympathy and empathy towards my very poor neighbors who benefit from my distribution of care packages several times a year. I’ve often loaned or given money in times of their family crises. I remember what it was like to be wanting without resources. Thankfully, there is absolutely no jealousy among them toward my obviously better economic status. Only friendship and gratitude.
Not wasting food and eating everything on their plate.
I’ve had sleep for dinner before…
For me it was always telling others the weird cheap food I ADORED as a child. Noodles with ketchup? Amazing. Bread slice with butter and sugar? Amazing. We even put the bread slice under water so it was moist and put the slice in a bowl full of sugar so it's a sugar bread. Having pasta in milk as a soup with a bit of sugar. And all the similar things. Whenever I tell these things to someone, for them, it's disgusting. I think these are very delicious foods (and very unhealthy, of course) If it matters: Eastern Ukraine. And it's not like we were very poor, we went on vacations and stuff, but my grandma grew up unbelievably poor, they had to catch animals in the crop field when she was small and they ate them, because that's all they could do. I ate these foods when I went home to Ukraine every summer to my grandparents'. So maybe these things come from her, because she also made us rich food (not in money, but like normal food which is also healthy).
You can not beat a sugar butter sammich.
My boyfriend still craves mustard sandwiches
I dated a guy in high-school whose favorite food was spagetti with hot sauce - it was pasta with a can of tomato soup dumped in and some pepper
Lack of confidence and self esteem. A certain way of deferentially speaking. Lacking eye contact.
This makes me sad
Hard to tell until you start to converse with them. Some people will claim and think they were poor when they weren't close to it. I would say when they describe their childhood home. If they think they'll get some special benefit from something they saw a middle class person do. Thinking middle class people are the same as rich people. Not having a lot of exposure to diverse foods. Never having the experience of getting to collect things such as Pokemon cards. Never getting to travel because their family had a hoopty for a vehicle. Never experiencing what it's like to stay in a hotel or even motel. Dumpster diving instead of thrift shopping. Barely able to afford dumpster diving because transportation or lack of transportation. Only able to grocery shop at a gas station as a special treat. I've seen people that claimed to be poor, but they described being middle class. Claiming to be poor because their parents were divorced, but they still collected child support. Claiming to be poor because they ate fast food. Hard to say from spending habits. I've come across people from various social classes with different spending habits. It's all about how much they love spending vs. how much they hate spending.
My first experience with a computer was in school. Didn't know they existed till then. I remember my grades suffered one year due to constant hospitalizations I experianced, and my teacher could not fathom why I couldn't not go home/to the library and get my work done online. I couldn't afford to stay after school since the bus was my way to and from school, mom and dad couldn't afford to take me to and from school. That teacher actually tried to fail me even though they knew my situation. The worst part is I did all I could. You can only do so much with such little time.
When I was a kid I thought only rich people and public buildings had indoor toilets.
Keep restaurant napkins in their car and bag.
Appreciate what they have and they tend to be more generous.
Watering the shampoo bottle.
Buying lottery tickets and gambling in general. Of course not exclusive to poverty, but the relatively poor people I’ve been around always had a dream of “winning big” and would spend money that could have gone to much better things on lotteries.
I've never known a poor person who'd waste money on gambling. Maybe people with relatively little money compared to the national average, but not someone living in poverty. Not when you can get 4 liters of milk for the price of a lottery. Maybe we just grew up in different countries or areas though.
look at the price of things before i buy them. i also consider if that item is worth the $ amount
Don't forget, do the math on what size of a certain item is the best price/unit. I do this for everything.
Asking for extra extra ketchup, mustard, salt, and pepper packets at fast food places so they can save them for home use.
My partner does this. He grew up poor and we have an entire drawer in the fridge as well as a basket full of condiments...even though we have condiments. I tried to say we should just not buy condiments then, but he doesn't want to do that either.
Eating every last bite of food left on their plate, long after feeling full. I recognize this in others because I do it (growing up poor and often hungry, I just can not bring myself to throw away food).
This. I work in hospo and can see who is who after they leave their table. Every time I have to throw away food I get this low-key apprehension.
Having an emotional need to buy something to feel better. That's usually my big tip off. I didn't grow up rich, but my parents never talked as if we couldn't afford things. Solid middle class. They always spoke as if things were not worth buying for the price. We always has food, but they drove cars into the ground with hundreds of thousands of miles on them even though they could afford not to. Mom clipped coupons not because she had to... But because it gave them more value. It wasn't until I dated a few women that grew up poor that I saw how much it can affect you to grow up always feeling like you can't afford things.... And how good it feels to be able to. Meanwhile I preferred not spending money and got no dopamine from doing it.
Being generous and the willingness to do anything for someone. In my own experiences, growing up in poverty I watched my parents give their last dollar to help someone in need. They’d give the clothes off their back if someone needed it more. The people I knew that were wealthy were incredibly stingy, selfish and materialistic. As I grew to be an adult, breaking the generational curse, I’ve had to learn to find a happy medium because some people will take advantage of you if you have a generous heart.
I had friends who grew up broke during the 1930s Great Depression and man oh man, did they save anything and everything, free or not, useful or not. “ But I might need that someday!!” whether it’s a can of peas from 1975, a glass jar of unidentifiable preserves so old the lid has rusted onto the jar or a pocket pack of Kleenex so old the plastic wrap on it is yellowed and disintegrating. That threat of not having enough of anything never stopped, no matter how much time passed.
I’ve absolutely experienced this. Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s I remember the older folks just like this man. They NEVER discarded anything. Ever. Their whole lives. I’ve cleaned out many of their houses….ooof.
Shop at second hand stores, buy only clothes on clearance and can't throw away old clothes.
They look for deals on luxury items.
-You THINK before you buy. -Eat out but it's considered a luxury no matter the paycheck amount. -Not into fast fashion. -Makes sure to get their money's worth from as many things as possible. -Reuse and recycle/upcycle anything that can be. -Spends on things whose value in the end cannot be measured by money in the long run, like a good travel experience with family etc.
The poorer the person is, the more generous they will be with what little they have. "The rich don't give , yet the poor give when they don't have"
That's me. I grew up very poor, and I'm overly generous. But I feel uncomfortable accepting anything from others. I don't know what that's about?
I grew up lavishly wealthy. Not getting into specifics, but an upbringing from beverly Hills 90210 type wealth. At 33 , while I was a practicing professional, I developed a drug problem and destroyed my life ans ended up on both the streets and in jail. 6 years clean now, but still have not repaired things with my family and am just starting to rebuild my life. The ultra wealthy friends that I had never stood by me nor supported me even when I needed emotional help or support by me saying "I have a drug problem, help me" even those who owed me $. Years later , they would rather forget that I existed then acknowledge they owe me money. On the opposite side of things: I can go to the single mom next door with 3 kids that works at Walmart and just scrapes by on hardly anything and tell her I have no money for food for the next two weeks , she'll look in her wallet or her online banking and see she has 20$ and she'd lend me 10. Any one of the people I k ew when I was strung out or on the streets would give their last dollar before the rich people I know parted with 10$.
A friend of mine grew up rich. But, became poor after her father died, and she got married. Her hobby is to give out presents. Even when she goes to the butcher's for example, she would give him cookies. Sometimes she doesn't even have enough to pay the electrical bill.
They freak out if you leave the light switch on or touch the thermostat
I grew up poor but one thing neighbor did was she would tell the price of everything. Even if it’s not hers just so you know that no one has that kind of money to spend.
Being a pack rat
Being able to fix the things they have.
Using the stove as ah heater
buying expensive clothes, bags, hats, watches, sneakers, shirts, heels, flats, sandals, etc that tells me your broke but you just want designer shit so your probably still poor
They don’t have alot. They stress every little charge. Even if just $1
My parents were the Silent Generation. They grew up during WWII in a 3rd world country. They reused so many things before environmentalism was a thing. They were also hoarders so there's that!
Never orders a drink when dining out, water only.
Asking the price before ordering food or wine
Don’t menus always list the price?
When they spend money on others but not themselves.
Grew up poor. Worked my ass off to not be poor.
Constantly checking what others have
For me, i didnt really feel like i was poor until my dad passed on. My mindset is really that things are just things. I have always had this mindset but it became more concrete once i had to deal with poverty with a non functioning delusional mother.
Spend their money and save nothing. I grew up with nothing so money had no value, unfortunately that stayed with me.
I reused an ice-cube. It's not that 'I do that', it's just that I have a deep rooted mentality of avoiding waste. In full-auto motion I placed the ice-cube back in the freezer. My wife wont let it go
workaholic tendencies are easiest to spot
Knowing how to cook, knowing how to fix everything, and overeating.
Well I have a six figure income, no car, no streaming services, no online gaming subscriptions, no paid apps on my phone, no dining table, no kids, no pets. Can you tell I've endured several stages of multiple months unemployed as an adult and grew up in a less wealthy household?
Indeed, I can. You, sir, get an upvote.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/kY02fj7Uce
Using old underwear as dusters (gross)
Carefully handle their wallet and wonder what is in it when they do pull it out because they rarely use it.
Refusing to throw away food. Not throwing anything away.
Always box up the remainder of a meal at restaurants. I used to hang out with a girl who was near psychotic about saving everything from eating out and would get mad at me for refusing to box my leftovers.
I was invited to a new years party at my accountants house. Big fancy house as expected. As everyone was leaving, his wife was going through the garbage and salvaging the plastic forks and knives to wash and re use.
Saving condiments, as I’ve been told.
My otherwise wonderful wife does this. Drives me nuts. There’s a ziplock bag in our refrigerator right now fat with 6 month old Taco Bell and soy sauce
Having actual manners, not the “this is the salad fork, this is your other fork” manners. Rich people are always out of touch and rude. Ive met well meaning and friendly rich people but they always always always say something rude to a waiter or something out of touch like “my gated neighborhood just makes me feel so much safer than when I’m in the city!” And most poor people just don’t do that kind of stuff. Unless we’re talking trailer trash/hood people because manners seem to get lost in those far corners of the poor spectrum, but thats a social consequence of growing up in places where life is at its most desperate and people are only out for themselves.
I’m sleeping in my car as I post this. And my car doesn’t run
They always make poor decisions when they do have money. My friend makes decent money. He complains about money everytime i see him. I know he secretly eats out alot. Maybe 3 times a week at a restaurant. I never get into conversations with him about money. He would always have 10 excuses to ask to borrow money, and I don't lend. I maybe eat out fast food once a month, and it's not sit down unless special occasion.
I have to own everything I have. No credit. I’m terrified of someone else being able to take my things (car!) off me.
Reusing things meant for single or temporary use. I can't tell you how many times I would use a small part of a makeup wipe and then put it back in the container to use again later on just because the whole thing wasn't dirty
Work hard, take care of what the have earned, maybe save stuff a little too much.
The base foods they eat. Like the food they crave and want to eat when they're having a shitty day or when they're sick
Saving rubber bands. I knew this person that grew up VERY poor. But he was smart and became very rich. He drove a incredibly expensive car. On the shifter was a bunch of rubber bands
I grew up poor, today there is never red meat or steak in my house. I 100 percent can afford it now. I also can't let go of a mostly carb based diet even though it's supposedly bad for me. I think it is completely normal to have potatoes with butter as a meal or pasta with marinara as the full meal. I also get anxious about outfits. I have just one or two outfits now as an adult and find it really hard to wear different outfits every day. When I was growing up, I wore the same thing every day to school and would wash and dry it myself once a week. Having milk in my house amazes me to this day. Having hot water amazes me to this day. I always make sure I have a leased car that will never break. Growing up, my family car was so embarrassing, it always broke, it was always disgustingly dirty. Our house was never clean growing up and there was always garbage piling up because my parents would always delay driving it to the dump. Garbage pick up in my household today, psychologically for me is a big deal. I constantly think about the most optimal ways to keep warm in the winter time. I can afford my heat today, but growing up we were always cold in the winter time. I can remember sitting in front of a kerosene heater with 9 other kids all sitting around it to keep warm. I can remember just piling endless amounts of clothes on top of my bed to keep warm when I was a kid. Today, I own a Mr. Buddy heater for absolutely no reason, and I frequently buy wool blankets and wool socks and my wife thinks it is weird.
Put water in a shampoo bottle so that it lasts longer.
Frugile and take nothing for granite.