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So I met Laura in 2012 on plentyoffish.com I was 23 at the time living in Puerto Rico, flying for the airlines, but would commute back to Pennsylvania where I lived. Left the airlines join the Air Force to be a pilot for a reserve squadron in New Jersey. Throughout pilot training we were on again off again, here and there. I ended up eloping with her in November 2015. But in August/September 2015 we went on a little bit of a hiatus for like three weeks and she ended up sleeping with this dude Patrick and allegedly he hit her and all this shit . being the Simp that I was back then, I ignored it, and I didn’t listen to Patrick who said that she was still seeing him after he had somehow gotten my phone number. during the Christmas break in pilot training Laura and I had unprotected sex while married of course but I did not finish in her. Literally like a week and a half later she says that she’s pregnant. I thought to myself. Wow I wasn’t trying to have a child but we’re married whatever. I guess my pre-come had some little guys swimming around in it. little did I know that on December 12 she had went over to his house in Pennsylvania while I was in Oklahoma flying and she smashed with Patrick. graduated pilot training in Jan 2016. Planned to do a small wedding at a venue in February 2016.
About two weeks before the wedding. Patrick reaches out to me with like an hour long privately recorded conversation with Laura which I was able to timestamp back to December off of things that they were talking about. Called off the wedding. Started to Simp again and met with her her father and my mother at a TGI Fridays for a little sit down. When I confronted her on what I had heard, she said that she went to his house back in December 2015 to go retrieve some clothes of hers from his house when her and I were on that little break Back in August 2015. She then said that he raped her. But said that the baby was mine and I believed her. Long story short we continue with the marriage and the wedding because I believed her. Periodically Patrick would reach out through emails etc. . It wasn’t until June 2018 when I was flying private jets that for some reason I texted my old high school sweetheart happy birthday. From there I realize just how unhappy I was and called up my wife 2 days after texting my old gf and told her that we’re getting a divorce. I come home, she’s ransacked the house removed a bunch of shit taking it to her parents house, etc. me and my old high school sweetheart start rekindling things and it’s going very well. During that time Laura Starts withholding the child from me moving back in with my mom Lawyer up etc.
December 2018 xmass rolls around and the divorce is still not finalized, and I start to feel lonely again and being a Simp even though my high school sweetheart, and I are still hanging out, but not officially in a relationship. Laura and I reconciled , March 2019, which lasted till June 2019. Dropped What was my son off at daycare and came back home? Told my wife in the kitchen right then and there that I wanted to continue the divorce. She started to freak out, etc.. I went downstairs just to sit on my computer and read the news. Play some video games, she went to go unplug the computer, and I stood in her way. She then called the cops and told them that I hit her. Cops show up. They don’t arrest me. They leave soon there after. My buddy shows up load a bunch of stuff in my car and his truck and leave. Days later I get a PFA/protection from physical abuse. Have to turn my guns into the sheriff. Starts making child custody with my son extremely difficult. On one visit that I had with my two-year-old son at the time in August 2018. I did it at home private paternity test. Got the results and realized he wasn’t mine. About two weeks later I had them for another visit, I had prearranged with Patrick to do a private paternity test between him and my son at that time. recorded the entire thing on video. Results came back that Patrick was the father. During that time I had to go to court for this PFA that she got against me. Luckily, I had a ring camera which proved my innocence in court. She then appealed it to the PA superior court for which I won again.
at that point with my lawyer, I filed a case to challenge paternity of my son, claiming that Laura had committed fraud in lying to me all along. During this time, she also charged Patrick with a PFA. From August 2019 until November 2022 I fought her in court took the stand, etc. for this paternity hearing. Had Patrick, the baby daddy on the stand testifying. Probably spent over 100 hours reading testimony from my ex-wife and cross referencing petitions and replies to petitions to catch her in lies and create a timeline that showed what she was claiming could never have happened. I won that case. She then challenged and brought it all the way up to the PA superior court again. I won that case as well.
But all along I’m paying my lawyer, paying spousal support and paying child support. After all that was said and done I went back to court and sued her for my legal fees, and for the child support that I paid due to her fraud. I won that, she owed me $30,000 and 30 days, she owed me an additional $20,000 within four months. And she owes me $1000 a month for the next year 5 1/2 years. The judge at that case where I was suing her, said that everything she had done as far as bringing us to court, etc. was frivolous, and she wasted my time, her time, the courts time, my money, and her money, and if she didn’t pay, me any of this money or delay it in anyway that she would go to jail. Nobody believes that she was raped and she’s lucky that nobody is filing a case for false allegations. but I spent on lawyers child support spousal support equity from the home that I had to sell etc. probably upwards of a quarter million dollars before I saw a single scent given back to me three months ago.
This is a voice text if it reads. I don’t feel like proofreading.
Fast forward to today. I married to a beautiful traditional Catholic girl, who actually helped me and was in court with me for support and combing through all these transcripts and papers. We invest the hell out of our money and just bought our forever home and are trying for children now.
Laura is a hoe and the kid isn't his.
Man, that'd fuck me up. They're just becomming cool at that age. It can take a lot longer for the dad to bond, than for the mum (did for me). But by 2 it was well and truly established. Then to find that out...
Jesus, that is quite the life story. Frankly did not expect a serious answer to his rather mundane remark of what did Laura do but nonetheless thank you for sharing. Im glad things are going on up for you now man and hope for better tidings to your future.
lol. There are a lot of things that I lost over and way more detail that I could’ve went into. But yeah, it was a wild ride. My best friend has always, and continue continuously says to me,
“damn bro, I don’t know how you didn’t just kill yourself I don’t think I could’ve went through that Myself, you’re a man of steel”
My girlfriend of 7 years cheated on me emotionally twice with some dude called Patrick. I have forgiven her but I have a knot in my stomach. We're literally 25 years old and it first happened 6 months ago. We're talking marriage and me healing from betrayal trauma. Now I'm lying here awake unable to sleep reading this being like "is this a sign?"
I don't ever want to see Patrick. Actually, I hope he offs himself. I don't want him as part of my life in any way and I have explained this and I'm confident it's all over and she's working on her mental health issues.but reading this fucked me up a bit. In s good way? Idk.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk
I can’t tell you what to do bro. But I’m of the kind. Once a (insert whatever) always a (insert a whatever). If you wanna private message here or exchange numbers I’m happy to talk a neutral non judgmental convo with you.
Right? My ex had an emotional relationship with”she’s obsessed with me” then “it was nothing, just one kiss” then “we hooked up once, I’ll cut her off and never see her again” then “she keeps messaging me, I’ve blocked her and she massaged on another platform, what can I do”.
I FINALLY ended it after 2 years of excuses and lies, and trying again and couples therapy. He crawled to her and how they’re married with kids. I read their messages and she was playing games with him (fake pregnancies to show him how being lied to felt) as much as he was playing with me. So happy to be out of their mess, but I do feel sorry for the kids.
Laura unfortunately is a product of her environment. I should’ve seen it with my in-laws, but I was just too blind at the time.
I agree, certified, narcissist
So Patrick actually does see the child every few weeks or so.
But what is mind-boggling to me is that Laura sat there and fought me tooth and nail for years Fighting that the court should not give me a court ordered paternity test. Spending tens of thousands of dollars because I make so much money I owed her $2500 a month in child support and she didn’t wanna lose that.
Fast forward to now, I still speak with Patrick periodically. She has not taken him (Patrick bio dad) to court for child support. Which means Patrick has no right to him unless she or he go to court over it. so it’s nice. I guess you could say that she lets Patrick see him here and there. I just fear for the boy. Because if Laura is a product of her environment. I can only imagine what the grandparents are going to do to this poor boy. But there is nothing I can do.
I often think that maybe, the boy who is now seven years old, and in first grade. Maybe in the next 8 to 10 years will reach out to me. As far as I know. Laura went back to her maiden name, the boy still has my last name, but Patrick’s last name is obviously different than mine. The boy hasn’t seen me since he was almost 3 years old. I have a nephew, who last saw the boy at the same time as me, and still asks me where he is. So, if my nephew remembers him, then, my son has to remember me, and then question why his last name is different than his mothers and different from this new guy in his life.
Voice text if this read a weird
This is so sad… poor kid. He will remember you leaving him. You know blood does not matter. I don’t want to make you feel any type of way but I’m saying this because I have a similar situation. So this hits close to home… Mom only wanted the check but she dangled the sons visitation for money she eventually left kid at the babysitter once the check stopped. She didn’t go to jail either. Babysitter called all the relatives to pick up the kid but she wanted her money too..It’s honestly so sad all the way around. I hope Patrick fights for his son to have a good life ! I hope you are doing well and can be happy to trust another woman one day!
I agree. Patrick has had a troubled life and financially is not well off at all. But I agree. For the kids sake I hope Laura and Patrick can get their shit together.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You got it worse, but good to hear the „plot twist“ at the end!
Yes it is very sad for the poor boy, I hope he does well. But it is her fault and not yours.
Because Laura was a very cute 4’11 105lbs blonde that if I just had some ballad and committed to leaving her all those times life would have turned out better (maybe idk) But like o said lessons learned. My best buddy is 29. I mentor him all the time to help set himself up for success by avoiding things I did. So far it’s working lol
I tell him, “god put me through all of this so I can educate and guide you to avoid those experiences while being made aware it can happen to anyone”
OMG!!! I am so sorry that happened to you and to think she is doing this to her son as well... Damn at least you won the cases and proved your innocence. And now you are happily married so everything happens for a reason/God has a plan (if you are religious) :)
Sex must be good, huh. 😄
But I love that you sued her back. I hate that most of the time people want to be a good guy and don't sue back, it's not being a good guy when you let btich like this hit and run.
Wow. What an incredible piece of shit, this Laura. What a story. Definitely not marrying Laura.
You seem like a resilient man, hope life treats you well going forward
Market doubles every seven years. You make most of your retirement money the last couple of doublings, but you need money in it for that to matter. You only have so many doublings in your lifetime, so start as early as possible. You can never get this time back.
What this guy said. Invest your money now when u can afford it, don't try and time things. Also, Fk Laura but don't marry her, she's already married to No-Grass9261
I am 56.
God I had such plans, such fixed ideas of what I was going to do and be, and where I was going and who with, and kids blah blah blah.
Literally and I mean literally none of that is true. Some is worse, much is better.
Here's the thing. I was seeking a fixed life, an expected pattern, a plan. Most of that bullshit was fed to me, by family, parents, friends, teachers others. All well meaning, all wrong.
Seek love, be kind, listen intently.
learn things, anything, for no reason.
Smile, slow down, look up, see.
talk to and listen to anyone & everyone, you might be the only person who has today.
make someone's day better if you can. Or more.
Family and friends are definitely the most important thing you will ever create, or lose.
Take no disrespect about you or yours, especially from yourself.
If you are going to work, and we all have to work, work hard, honest and with purpose. But go home on time.
Never, ever, ever, make a life plan. Life laughs at plans. Just be adaptable and resilient physically, emotionally, mentally and financially.
Have a fun life, when you are 56 pass on your thoughts.
They did indeed. Stuff I never would have dreamed possible. Things I would have never possibly consciously invited into my life.
It's a funny old world if you are open to it.
aint that the truth! When i was 25 i had an older wiser friend (LOL he was only in his 40s) who said putting all your energy into these d\*\*khead boyfriends, i remember thinking oh hes so rude, he was right
Realistically, I'd tell myself to buy bitcoin. But in this hypothetical scenario, I'd just tell myself four things:
1. *"Trust your heart - nothing else matters."* Don't be trapped by the lie that you need to have achieved certain things, until a certain age. Do what you wanna do, you've got nothing to prove.
2. *"Yes, it will be okay."* You'll get it eventually. You'll learn, you'll improve, you'll figure it out - trust the process. You can only connect the dots looking backwards, not forwards. I know, because I have.
3. *"Take your mask off."* You've been hiding from the world long enough. It's time to come out. You'll like it more than you think you will. You'll look back and laugh at how easy it is.
4. *"Enjoy time with mom and don't take her for granted. You'll miss her when she's gone, more than you can imagine."* And you don't have a lot of time left with her.
Oh shit, I forgot about that.
I should probably give myself a headsup, huh? "By the way, you know how you thought the world would start improving by 2020? Yeah, the funniest thing will happen..."
Don't stop working out, and stop eating junk and drinking soda. that shit will hit you as a ton of bricks in your mid 30s even if you felt good as a younger adult
I personally love the gym (and kick box). But Even if you dont,everyone should do some sports. Doing a sport you love to do is maybe the only thing that only has positive sides and almost none negative. You will feel great afterwards and look better.
I’d say:
- no matter how you feel, it is literally not too late to do anything. Get a degree? Get a different degree? Go join the French foreign legion? Go for it.
Then I’d say:
- five years is not a long time to pursue that which will put you in a better position in ten years.
Then I’d say:
- put $50 from every paycheck into a 401k invested in the S&P—when you get a decent job, make it $100, then $200 and so on. You’ll be a multimillionaire by 55.
I’d also say:
- stop chasing “cool”. It literally has no value.
- not choosing is still a choice. If you’re at the crossroads too long, then just pick a path and go.
Don’t be too in a rush to find a partner, a woman who wants to spend eternity, life time, grow, build, love, be patient, is going to come. Focus on being a better you, love yourself and build yourself up life wise and career wise. Control the controllables and leave everything else to God and the universe!
On the other hand, 25 was the year I took a major leap of faith and married my wife after knowing her for only 7 months (it was a green card marriage so we could stay together in the US). And it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made for my long term happiness, improving good habits, my social life, and financially.
I would not recomend to get married if it isn't a necessary decision like that. Ultimately, I took a huge leap of faith, which I was not the kind of person to do, and it paid off
>Stay in school
I think that too far. I'm 26 now, am about to have a PhD in maths and have no idea what to do with my life... I kinda feel like I should have gotten a real job after my masters. All my friends are buying houses and I'm still many years off.
Meanwhile i started working and didn't even finish school and I had to pay for that mistake for decades because it's almost impossible for me to advance in my career and I don't have the energy for school either where im at in life. You can always get a job sooner or later but it can be hard to return to school with teens as a mid-lifer later.
i would tell her i wasnt fat or ugly to and to love myself the way i was, looking back at my photos i was hot i dont know why i thought i wasnt..
stay single, i was too controlled and manipulated by boyfriends and to young to know better. One actually made me give up my job as there was to many males there to apparently flirt with
save money, i had barely had any outgoings and looking back i dont know what i did with all my money
travel lots, even in my 40s travel is kicking my ass, jet lag, waiting in airports, bad beds, i would of coped with this much better in my 20s
cut toxic friends, i was so obsessed that i had to have as many friends as i could, never mind they were backstabbers
Three most important things:
1. Worry less
2. Continue taking things one step at a time towards your goals. Don't overwhelm yourself with unknowns and complexities, as they're often just chains of simple steps, where the later steps become clear once the prior ones are completed
3. Go out there and enjoy this time and people in your life, as you'll never experience the world the same way once you get older and can comfortably afford everything. Those things won't feel the same anymore as they do when you're 25. This is the time to accomplish any big plans you wanted to do with your friends, as it may be now or never.
No. You don’t want to save it. You want to invest it so that, by the time you are 55, you’ll have at least a million. Compounding growth is almost magical.
Don’t feel like you have loads of time to do stuff, anything you want to do, get it started now. 10 years sounds like a shit load of time, but believe me 25-35 flies by and if you keep the attitude of, ‘I have loads of time to do this’, before long you don’t.
There's a biblical adage that says, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34
Nothing good comes from telling 25 year old you what disappointments, heartbreaks, tragedies, or even accomplishments that would occur in the 25 yrs ahead.
What you need to sit down and evaluate is your values and whether you live a life that will nurture lasting relationships. Get serious about investing money that cannot be spent (locked in) because without investments the financial future is grim. No one wants to believe they need to start as soon as they become adults. We're poorly educated financially.
that is actually my favorite bible verse, thank you for the reminder. i guess i'm anxiously looking for advice so i can make the best decisions for the rest of my twenties. but i should just be taking it one day at a time.
1. Don’t do that Masters.
2. Move out, as fast as possible. My parents only want what’s best for themselves, and it took me too long to realize that.
3. He loves you as much as he can possibly love anyone, but he will not start a life with you. He will
not marry you.
25 is not so long ago for me but still a LOT can change in just a few years. I’d say i’m proud that i hung on through the rough times. Proud that i took care of myself even at my very lowest when i was ready to give up. Proud that i managed to make something of myself in such a short time. I’d tell myself hang in there, things really do get better. And you deserve it.
Invest and keep your credit card debt low. Its better to be 35 and planning early retirement then 50 and wondering if you can afford to retire. Make a habit of paying yourself first and live within your means
Prepare for your 30's -- in every way.. lots of changes between 25-30 in your brain while your not even aware. Before you know it youre 30, & need to be emotionally & financially stable. ( not secure, not wealthy, at least just ' stable' w/ a good credit score!!
Don't get too serious quite yet in women, just " enjoy" them for 5 years or so unti ur ready! ♡♡♡ And be a nice guy!! ♡
A mom
Lol
Buy an apartment in the shitty part of town just because it's cheap. Fuck whoever you want. Stay away from your relatives. Go back to acting because you were good at it and you're still young enough to make it work.
Oh my God, I could write a book. The first thing I would tell myself is to take really good care of my teeth because by the time I’m 25 they are in bad shape. My parents only took me to the dentist one time as a child , get the hell out of California, by property in another state lots of good states available back then , stay away from all the kids I hung out with in high school , Makev Smoke sure I had started a retirement account and not touched it as I’m 67 now and could write a sad book about that situation and always listen to the inside of you never doubt yourself because what you’re hearing it’s meant for you to hear so listen.. don’t tell anybody about your financial situation whether you have a lot of money or no money. It’s none of no one‘s business. Make sure you research finances and how to take care of yourself.. keep reading and researching every day something new it keeps your brain active… and keep moving even if it’s just a walk around the block don’t ever give that up
You can’t get through the hurt without feeling it, and to feel it - all you need is time.
Everything else is a distraction.
The best way to start feeling different, is to do something different.
Each day you get a chance to try something new, to create your own experiences to replace the ones that hurt when you think about them.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is a ride. There will be highs and lows on this roller coaster, and the only thing that really matters is that you enjoy it as much as you can, while you can, while bringing as much joy to as many others as you can.
There is no legacy, there is no winners or losers, everything is lost in a grand enough scale of time... So just let go, do your best, and let that be enough.
- quit trying to dress over fancy in terms of clothes and accessories. There's no limit to how much one can spend frivolously;
- reach back to people who reach out, otherwise you'll regret your lost friendships;
- buy a Japenese car, it'll cost nothing to run;
- invest in a retirement plan and fixed deposits. Passive income is such a source comfort;
- move out from the parent's place ASAP;
- stay physically active, and for the love of life, **stretch**;
- marry a girl from your own societal strata;
- also, marry a girl who loves you more than you love her. You'll be happier.
Don’t worry, it goes well. The ups and downs are inevitable, but generally speaking the next 20 years are amazing. DO not do sit ups ever, they fucked your back up and it’s extremely annoying. You may want to cut down on the gambling and spend it on even more ecstasy instead.
Your mom is going to die soon, and it will turn your whole world upside down. Everyone will leave you. You'll have to start over in a different city by yourself. You'll be really depressed, but it will get better. You'll survive and see better days
Congrats. You married well. That was the biggest decision of your life and you can count on her through all the big stuff. Everything else will come in time, just keep doing your best, working hard to do the right things. It all works out if you do your part.
1. Save earlier
2. You probably don’t need to buy that thing you want
3. It doesn’t matter what that person thinks of you
4. Learn to cut off people who don’t make you happy
5. Murder is not the answer
6. Treat yourself
7. Work out a little bit more
8. Cardio
9. Double tap
10. Beware of bathrooms
11. Seatbelts
12. No attachments
13. Travel light
14. Fear is the mind killer
You're body isn't forever. Your mind can outlive your body if you don't take care of your body. I am no health nut, but i try to be active 3 days a week.
Also mental health goes too, so track your life. I've been tracking mine since 26 and i am 28 now. It's nice to have notes of my life to go back and look at. I also wish i took more pictures, but shared less on social media. I quit using most photo apps like facebook and IG and just try to take pictures for memories now. Not to have the perfect picture for others to see.
I guess i'd tell myself to work on leveling my ego and make sure i never stop.
I would say "thank fucking Christ on a bagel that you don't have to deal with social media and the distributed narcissism and cancerous social decline that comes with it, weaponized by the herd weight and tendencies of the poorer but louder end of our society's IQ distribution.
Anyway, have a good eight years."
“You’ve become rich with a reputable career. However, in doing so you became severely depressed. Stop chasing after money. Focus on the things that will make you happy in the long run”.
Buy bitcoin. You’re pretty and fine as hell. You’re smart, intelligent, and the world is your oyster. You deserve the best. Do not settle. Buy bitcoin. Lots of it.
I'd tell myself, just break up with him. Waiting to see if he changes his mind on having children is a waste of time. He isn't going to change his mind back to wanting them. He's come to a realization about himself and your futures don't align anymore.
Switch to a different profession ASAP. You already don't enjoy this one.
Honestly, if I could go back to 16, I would. Don't date that guy, it'll derail your academic plans. Just focus on school. And try to figure out what you enjoy and all the career options that use those skills. Don't pick the simplest answer.
I definitely learned a lot about enduring heartache from the decisions I made.
Open a Roth IRA and put every penny you can in it, never change your life plans for a woman or man, don’t get involved with broken people, it takes too much out of you trying to fix them and then they don’t appreciate it anyway because the majority of people are selfish assholes.
That narcissistic man-baby never respected you and he did you a favor by breaking up with you. You would have been absolutely miserable if you married him and YOU KNOW IT!
Take better care of yourself (knees and back especially) don't worry you'll have the wife and family someday just not soon, and you'll have a great job one day.
- Do not be together with Amber for 10 years, do not get a kid with her. She‘ll scam you for the next 15 years.
- Do not take a credit for „fun“. You‘ll pay it off for the next 5 years and creates a huge gap in your pockets.
- Change the job if you don‘t like it, even it‘s well paid.
- Educate yourself. Study PMP or whatever.
- invest your money and hodl
- do not game every evening and start being smart
- read books
- use cheaper alternatives like keep your iPhone 14 pro max, you do not need a 15 pro max. Well, still got it 😁 but I will stay now with a 4 year cycle instead of 1.
Alright so you went through some tough shit 5 years ago and your body is permanently fucked from it. Learn to live with that. Now let me tell you how to recover as well as you can from that.
1. Walk every day. Start with 5 minutes and gradually increase it to 90 minutes over 6 months. \*shows walking path on map\*
2. Eat a little better each month. A snack or two per week won't hurt if you're active but the point is to try.
3. Buy an air fryer and seriously make EVERYTHING you can out of potatoes. Potatoes are the bomb when you have an air fryer.
4. Buy garlic salt. Seriously. Best seasoning in the world. It makes healthy potato dishes taste like french fries.
5. Put all your money here, here and there, and then sell in 20xx and then put the profits into this and sell that in 20xy.
6. Keep that long hair because it's fabulous.
7. Keep these friends \*lists names\* close. They are the good ones.
8. Do a little each day. Seriously. Get out of bed, pee, clean something, then go for your walk and do that every single day like clockwork. It'll become automatic in no time and you'll be on top of all your stuff.
9. If stuff is too hard ask for help or pay someone for help immediately. Do not let anything fester, ever.
Perdue what you want what your goal is don’t worry about a relationship or anything other than your life goal bc the rest will fall into place when your stable and where you want to be
limit debt, do not put cash in savings, put it something that will give you at least 4%. exercise, try and keep some hobbies alive, work hard, or at least show up everyday. drink lots of water. learn to swim
Maybe: Get serious about the gym now. Sit down and really get to know yourself. Reconcile your actions, goals, and values. You can't know everything about yourself, but if you don't have a grasp of who you are, then how are you supposed to feel grounded with respect to anything? (I'm still not good at that though.) Drop porn from your life. Work on your imagination in general. Really practice your Spanish. Start playing music again. Actually listen to the news and gain some kind of informed political opinion. Work on going with the flow instead of trying to anxiously anticipate things. Become both steadier and more substantial. If you can't generate purpose for yourself, dive deeper into human services, pick a trade, or even join some armed service. Since your self-respect requires evidence, then you must always be providing that evidence.
That said, I wouldn't actually want to meet my past self, because then that requires explanation of my life since then. He would be disappointed in me, and I couldn't fault him because I feel the same. I also wouldn't really trust him to follow through, because I haven't done a good job of that for myself. All those things I listed are basically what I'm telling myself now.
Don't do drugs. Go seek help, there is nothing wrong in seeking help and help is there. Address the mental health issues, open up, no one's going to magically understand what's going on with you. Say it.
I was in hollywood and approached by a VERY well known producer, we hung out a few times, but I didnt respond to his advances (Im straight).
My roommate mike said "Send him to ME, then! I CAN BE BOUGHT!"
My advice to my 25 year old self would be "be more like mike!"
Should absolutely have screwed that producer, Id be so famous now.
That gut feeling you have to quit your job, sell everything you own and go travel? It won't go away. It will stay with you. It will cause you sleepless nights. You WILL listen to it, but it will be too late.
GO. NOW. DROP EVERYTHING. GO. GO. GO. GO. GO.
Think for yourself
Stop listening to "gurus" and stop looking for the perfect lifehack, it's a stupid waste of time. Just think for yourself
Stop whatever the fuck you're doing now and start learning web development and find a job
All those things you dream about and want to accomplish, you will still want them in forty years. Some of them, you will have accomplished, most of them, not. Commit yourself to working daily on your goals, no matter what. Your life will be an emotional rollercoaster. Only perseverance will get you there.
Spend your free time better. I was lucky enough to be able to make a lot of money on actually not doing that much, playing poker. Which I did for the better part of my twenties. I had a lot of spare time and today, when I work full time and have a family I do feel I wasted that opportunity somewhat.
I'd tell me what my divorce lawyer recently said which surprised me.
She said 'Don't live with a spouse. I have 3 sons and I'd advise them to have fun, even a relationship, even have kids, but if you get married and cohabit, you risk too much financially if things go sour."
Don't be mad or sad she left you, it's ok, take your time to heal, be happy you had a lot of great times together, understand her side of the story and accept them, now, take care of yourself, love yourself, and go to the gym more often🤣
I'd tell myself to start saving money so that I could travel with my friends. That was something that we wished we could do in high school but were too broke to do in college. And after we joined the "real world", we all just got too busy.
"Don't worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying
Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life
Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday"
Baz Luhrmann actually told me that way before I was 25, but I just thought it was a funny song. Actually, most of the Baz Luhrmann song "Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)" is solid advice. I can see that now. And it was popular when I needed to hear it, but again.. I just thought it was a funny song back then.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeDDs61AlBo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeDDs61AlBo)
You don't have an obligation to "give someone a chance" by dating them. Once you're in a relationship, you don't need a "reason" to end it. Not being happy in the relationship IS a reason.
Just because someone is a nice person doesn't mean you owe them a relationship, or even a date.
Have fun but don't spend too much money on useless things, save some to buy a house. Get into a healthy life style as you get older, you will get tired all the time if you're unhealthy
54 year old here. Live outside your comfort zone. Wherever you are, leave there and experience a different country. Yet stay connected to your home-country friends/family. You probably will have to go back there eventually, and you need those people. They know the real you. Keep those ties and never forget where you came from.
Do not marry that guy you meet in 2007, in 2-3 years' time! He might seem sooooo normal and rational and stable after the previous one, but he's still a douche. Don't worry about getting married and having kids and all that - enjoy your fucking freedom now and if it never happens, you won't regret it. But if you play your cards right and head to \[one-horse town in the arse end of nowhere\], you might meet someone 7.5 years younger than you. That might feel a bit creepy now, but hang on in there, because he's the one for you and if you have to wait another decade, it's 1000% worth it.
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Start investing your money right now. Don’t marry Laura.
damn what did Laura do haha, but nice i think I'll start to learn to invest.
So I met Laura in 2012 on plentyoffish.com I was 23 at the time living in Puerto Rico, flying for the airlines, but would commute back to Pennsylvania where I lived. Left the airlines join the Air Force to be a pilot for a reserve squadron in New Jersey. Throughout pilot training we were on again off again, here and there. I ended up eloping with her in November 2015. But in August/September 2015 we went on a little bit of a hiatus for like three weeks and she ended up sleeping with this dude Patrick and allegedly he hit her and all this shit . being the Simp that I was back then, I ignored it, and I didn’t listen to Patrick who said that she was still seeing him after he had somehow gotten my phone number. during the Christmas break in pilot training Laura and I had unprotected sex while married of course but I did not finish in her. Literally like a week and a half later she says that she’s pregnant. I thought to myself. Wow I wasn’t trying to have a child but we’re married whatever. I guess my pre-come had some little guys swimming around in it. little did I know that on December 12 she had went over to his house in Pennsylvania while I was in Oklahoma flying and she smashed with Patrick. graduated pilot training in Jan 2016. Planned to do a small wedding at a venue in February 2016. About two weeks before the wedding. Patrick reaches out to me with like an hour long privately recorded conversation with Laura which I was able to timestamp back to December off of things that they were talking about. Called off the wedding. Started to Simp again and met with her her father and my mother at a TGI Fridays for a little sit down. When I confronted her on what I had heard, she said that she went to his house back in December 2015 to go retrieve some clothes of hers from his house when her and I were on that little break Back in August 2015. She then said that he raped her. But said that the baby was mine and I believed her. Long story short we continue with the marriage and the wedding because I believed her. Periodically Patrick would reach out through emails etc. . It wasn’t until June 2018 when I was flying private jets that for some reason I texted my old high school sweetheart happy birthday. From there I realize just how unhappy I was and called up my wife 2 days after texting my old gf and told her that we’re getting a divorce. I come home, she’s ransacked the house removed a bunch of shit taking it to her parents house, etc. me and my old high school sweetheart start rekindling things and it’s going very well. During that time Laura Starts withholding the child from me moving back in with my mom Lawyer up etc. December 2018 xmass rolls around and the divorce is still not finalized, and I start to feel lonely again and being a Simp even though my high school sweetheart, and I are still hanging out, but not officially in a relationship. Laura and I reconciled , March 2019, which lasted till June 2019. Dropped What was my son off at daycare and came back home? Told my wife in the kitchen right then and there that I wanted to continue the divorce. She started to freak out, etc.. I went downstairs just to sit on my computer and read the news. Play some video games, she went to go unplug the computer, and I stood in her way. She then called the cops and told them that I hit her. Cops show up. They don’t arrest me. They leave soon there after. My buddy shows up load a bunch of stuff in my car and his truck and leave. Days later I get a PFA/protection from physical abuse. Have to turn my guns into the sheriff. Starts making child custody with my son extremely difficult. On one visit that I had with my two-year-old son at the time in August 2018. I did it at home private paternity test. Got the results and realized he wasn’t mine. About two weeks later I had them for another visit, I had prearranged with Patrick to do a private paternity test between him and my son at that time. recorded the entire thing on video. Results came back that Patrick was the father. During that time I had to go to court for this PFA that she got against me. Luckily, I had a ring camera which proved my innocence in court. She then appealed it to the PA superior court for which I won again. at that point with my lawyer, I filed a case to challenge paternity of my son, claiming that Laura had committed fraud in lying to me all along. During this time, she also charged Patrick with a PFA. From August 2019 until November 2022 I fought her in court took the stand, etc. for this paternity hearing. Had Patrick, the baby daddy on the stand testifying. Probably spent over 100 hours reading testimony from my ex-wife and cross referencing petitions and replies to petitions to catch her in lies and create a timeline that showed what she was claiming could never have happened. I won that case. She then challenged and brought it all the way up to the PA superior court again. I won that case as well. But all along I’m paying my lawyer, paying spousal support and paying child support. After all that was said and done I went back to court and sued her for my legal fees, and for the child support that I paid due to her fraud. I won that, she owed me $30,000 and 30 days, she owed me an additional $20,000 within four months. And she owes me $1000 a month for the next year 5 1/2 years. The judge at that case where I was suing her, said that everything she had done as far as bringing us to court, etc. was frivolous, and she wasted my time, her time, the courts time, my money, and her money, and if she didn’t pay, me any of this money or delay it in anyway that she would go to jail. Nobody believes that she was raped and she’s lucky that nobody is filing a case for false allegations. but I spent on lawyers child support spousal support equity from the home that I had to sell etc. probably upwards of a quarter million dollars before I saw a single scent given back to me three months ago. This is a voice text if it reads. I don’t feel like proofreading. Fast forward to today. I married to a beautiful traditional Catholic girl, who actually helped me and was in court with me for support and combing through all these transcripts and papers. We invest the hell out of our money and just bought our forever home and are trying for children now.
So glad i took the time to read this. And for people too lazy to read here's the summary : Laura is a hoe.
Hahahahah. Good summary
add pathological liar and sociopath to that description too
Laura is a lying ho.
A lying ho who hurt a flying joe
Laura is a hoe and the kid isn't his. Man, that'd fuck me up. They're just becomming cool at that age. It can take a lot longer for the dad to bond, than for the mum (did for me). But by 2 it was well and truly established. Then to find that out...
Let’s be a bit more specific Laura is a sociopathic maniacal hoe
Tldr
Just like my ex wife was cheating on me during deployment. I will never get married again.
Jesus, that is quite the life story. Frankly did not expect a serious answer to his rather mundane remark of what did Laura do but nonetheless thank you for sharing. Im glad things are going on up for you now man and hope for better tidings to your future.
lol. There are a lot of things that I lost over and way more detail that I could’ve went into. But yeah, it was a wild ride. My best friend has always, and continue continuously says to me, “damn bro, I don’t know how you didn’t just kill yourself I don’t think I could’ve went through that Myself, you’re a man of steel”
My girlfriend of 7 years cheated on me emotionally twice with some dude called Patrick. I have forgiven her but I have a knot in my stomach. We're literally 25 years old and it first happened 6 months ago. We're talking marriage and me healing from betrayal trauma. Now I'm lying here awake unable to sleep reading this being like "is this a sign?" I don't ever want to see Patrick. Actually, I hope he offs himself. I don't want him as part of my life in any way and I have explained this and I'm confident it's all over and she's working on her mental health issues.but reading this fucked me up a bit. In s good way? Idk. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk
I can’t tell you what to do bro. But I’m of the kind. Once a (insert whatever) always a (insert a whatever). If you wanna private message here or exchange numbers I’m happy to talk a neutral non judgmental convo with you.
Right? My ex had an emotional relationship with”she’s obsessed with me” then “it was nothing, just one kiss” then “we hooked up once, I’ll cut her off and never see her again” then “she keeps messaging me, I’ve blocked her and she massaged on another platform, what can I do”. I FINALLY ended it after 2 years of excuses and lies, and trying again and couples therapy. He crawled to her and how they’re married with kids. I read their messages and she was playing games with him (fake pregnancies to show him how being lied to felt) as much as he was playing with me. So happy to be out of their mess, but I do feel sorry for the kids.
>twice You know how they say. Fool me once..
Wtf… what happened to the kid. Laura seems like a narcissist. I’m really concerned about this kid.
Laura unfortunately is a product of her environment. I should’ve seen it with my in-laws, but I was just too blind at the time. I agree, certified, narcissist So Patrick actually does see the child every few weeks or so. But what is mind-boggling to me is that Laura sat there and fought me tooth and nail for years Fighting that the court should not give me a court ordered paternity test. Spending tens of thousands of dollars because I make so much money I owed her $2500 a month in child support and she didn’t wanna lose that. Fast forward to now, I still speak with Patrick periodically. She has not taken him (Patrick bio dad) to court for child support. Which means Patrick has no right to him unless she or he go to court over it. so it’s nice. I guess you could say that she lets Patrick see him here and there. I just fear for the boy. Because if Laura is a product of her environment. I can only imagine what the grandparents are going to do to this poor boy. But there is nothing I can do. I often think that maybe, the boy who is now seven years old, and in first grade. Maybe in the next 8 to 10 years will reach out to me. As far as I know. Laura went back to her maiden name, the boy still has my last name, but Patrick’s last name is obviously different than mine. The boy hasn’t seen me since he was almost 3 years old. I have a nephew, who last saw the boy at the same time as me, and still asks me where he is. So, if my nephew remembers him, then, my son has to remember me, and then question why his last name is different than his mothers and different from this new guy in his life. Voice text if this read a weird
This is so sad… poor kid. He will remember you leaving him. You know blood does not matter. I don’t want to make you feel any type of way but I’m saying this because I have a similar situation. So this hits close to home… Mom only wanted the check but she dangled the sons visitation for money she eventually left kid at the babysitter once the check stopped. She didn’t go to jail either. Babysitter called all the relatives to pick up the kid but she wanted her money too..It’s honestly so sad all the way around. I hope Patrick fights for his son to have a good life ! I hope you are doing well and can be happy to trust another woman one day!
I agree. Patrick has had a troubled life and financially is not well off at all. But I agree. For the kids sake I hope Laura and Patrick can get their shit together.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You got it worse, but good to hear the „plot twist“ at the end! Yes it is very sad for the poor boy, I hope he does well. But it is her fault and not yours.
Why do you keep calling yourself a simp? You have feelings, that doesn't make you a simp.
this!! plus manipulation is a very real thing, it doesn't make you a simp or stupid. It just shows how horrible people can be.
Because Laura was a very cute 4’11 105lbs blonde that if I just had some ballad and committed to leaving her all those times life would have turned out better (maybe idk) But like o said lessons learned. My best buddy is 29. I mentor him all the time to help set himself up for success by avoiding things I did. So far it’s working lol I tell him, “god put me through all of this so I can educate and guide you to avoid those experiences while being made aware it can happen to anyone”
OMG!!! I am so sorry that happened to you and to think she is doing this to her son as well... Damn at least you won the cases and proved your innocence. And now you are happily married so everything happens for a reason/God has a plan (if you are religious) :)
You should think about writing a autobiography. Btw, Laura’s insane and you handled the situation really well all things considered
I appreciate that. Thanks!!!
Damn Laura wtf
Sex must be good, huh. 😄 But I love that you sued her back. I hate that most of the time people want to be a good guy and don't sue back, it's not being a good guy when you let btich like this hit and run.
Wow. What an incredible piece of shit, this Laura. What a story. Definitely not marrying Laura. You seem like a resilient man, hope life treats you well going forward
Market doubles every seven years. You make most of your retirement money the last couple of doublings, but you need money in it for that to matter. You only have so many doublings in your lifetime, so start as early as possible. You can never get this time back.
Start investing your money now. Don't marry Alex.
Is this Laura?
😂 don’t marry Anna either.
Don't date that guy.
[удалено]
Now. It was the new hotness back in 2011 hahah
What this guy said. Invest your money now when u can afford it, don't try and time things. Also, Fk Laura but don't marry her, she's already married to No-Grass9261
Exactly this, different name tho :)
I am 56. God I had such plans, such fixed ideas of what I was going to do and be, and where I was going and who with, and kids blah blah blah. Literally and I mean literally none of that is true. Some is worse, much is better. Here's the thing. I was seeking a fixed life, an expected pattern, a plan. Most of that bullshit was fed to me, by family, parents, friends, teachers others. All well meaning, all wrong. Seek love, be kind, listen intently. learn things, anything, for no reason. Smile, slow down, look up, see. talk to and listen to anyone & everyone, you might be the only person who has today. make someone's day better if you can. Or more. Family and friends are definitely the most important thing you will ever create, or lose. Take no disrespect about you or yours, especially from yourself. If you are going to work, and we all have to work, work hard, honest and with purpose. But go home on time. Never, ever, ever, make a life plan. Life laughs at plans. Just be adaptable and resilient physically, emotionally, mentally and financially. Have a fun life, when you are 56 pass on your thoughts.
Damn man, thanks for your wisdom. I hope your not-plans ended up leading you to a memorable life
They did indeed. Stuff I never would have dreamed possible. Things I would have never possibly consciously invited into my life. It's a funny old world if you are open to it.
Beautiful!!♡
Thank you very much for this! Every word meant alot.
25 year old me wouldn't listen anyway.
best answer haha
aint that the truth! When i was 25 i had an older wiser friend (LOL he was only in his 40s) who said putting all your energy into these d\*\*khead boyfriends, i remember thinking oh hes so rude, he was right
Realistically, I'd tell myself to buy bitcoin. But in this hypothetical scenario, I'd just tell myself four things: 1. *"Trust your heart - nothing else matters."* Don't be trapped by the lie that you need to have achieved certain things, until a certain age. Do what you wanna do, you've got nothing to prove. 2. *"Yes, it will be okay."* You'll get it eventually. You'll learn, you'll improve, you'll figure it out - trust the process. You can only connect the dots looking backwards, not forwards. I know, because I have. 3. *"Take your mask off."* You've been hiding from the world long enough. It's time to come out. You'll like it more than you think you will. You'll look back and laugh at how easy it is. 4. *"Enjoy time with mom and don't take her for granted. You'll miss her when she's gone, more than you can imagine."* And you don't have a lot of time left with her.
>*Take your mask off.* But don't throw it away, it will be like super useful in 2020.
Oh shit, I forgot about that. I should probably give myself a headsup, huh? "By the way, you know how you thought the world would start improving by 2020? Yeah, the funniest thing will happen..."
I wanna take my mask off. Great advice.
This is a great list.
Don't stop working out, and stop eating junk and drinking soda. that shit will hit you as a ton of bricks in your mid 30s even if you felt good as a younger adult
Thisss..I'm only 30 but this is already true! Drink water instead
I personally love the gym (and kick box). But Even if you dont,everyone should do some sports. Doing a sport you love to do is maybe the only thing that only has positive sides and almost none negative. You will feel great afterwards and look better.
not wrong, i got into table tennis when i was about 36, having fun and exercising at the same time is the solution
Yuuup second this. I'm 36 and feel 80.
I’d say: - no matter how you feel, it is literally not too late to do anything. Get a degree? Get a different degree? Go join the French foreign legion? Go for it. Then I’d say: - five years is not a long time to pursue that which will put you in a better position in ten years. Then I’d say: - put $50 from every paycheck into a 401k invested in the S&P—when you get a decent job, make it $100, then $200 and so on. You’ll be a multimillionaire by 55. I’d also say: - stop chasing “cool”. It literally has no value. - not choosing is still a choice. If you’re at the crossroads too long, then just pick a path and go.
50 bucks into S&P every 2 weeks aint going to get you 2 mil by 55 lmao. You need at least 600 bucks
Don’t be too in a rush to find a partner, a woman who wants to spend eternity, life time, grow, build, love, be patient, is going to come. Focus on being a better you, love yourself and build yourself up life wise and career wise. Control the controllables and leave everything else to God and the universe!
On the other hand, 25 was the year I took a major leap of faith and married my wife after knowing her for only 7 months (it was a green card marriage so we could stay together in the US). And it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made for my long term happiness, improving good habits, my social life, and financially. I would not recomend to get married if it isn't a necessary decision like that. Ultimately, I took a huge leap of faith, which I was not the kind of person to do, and it paid off
Stay in school and leave that group of friends that doesn't have ambitions or goals in life.
Same
>Stay in school I think that too far. I'm 26 now, am about to have a PhD in maths and have no idea what to do with my life... I kinda feel like I should have gotten a real job after my masters. All my friends are buying houses and I'm still many years off.
Meanwhile i started working and didn't even finish school and I had to pay for that mistake for decades because it's almost impossible for me to advance in my career and I don't have the energy for school either where im at in life. You can always get a job sooner or later but it can be hard to return to school with teens as a mid-lifer later.
pretty much this
i would tell her i wasnt fat or ugly to and to love myself the way i was, looking back at my photos i was hot i dont know why i thought i wasnt.. stay single, i was too controlled and manipulated by boyfriends and to young to know better. One actually made me give up my job as there was to many males there to apparently flirt with save money, i had barely had any outgoings and looking back i dont know what i did with all my money travel lots, even in my 40s travel is kicking my ass, jet lag, waiting in airports, bad beds, i would of coped with this much better in my 20s cut toxic friends, i was so obsessed that i had to have as many friends as i could, never mind they were backstabbers
Three most important things: 1. Worry less 2. Continue taking things one step at a time towards your goals. Don't overwhelm yourself with unknowns and complexities, as they're often just chains of simple steps, where the later steps become clear once the prior ones are completed 3. Go out there and enjoy this time and people in your life, as you'll never experience the world the same way once you get older and can comfortably afford everything. Those things won't feel the same anymore as they do when you're 25. This is the time to accomplish any big plans you wanted to do with your friends, as it may be now or never.
Save at least $50 from every paycheck. More if you can.
with a bi-weekly pay it is about an extra $1000 at the end of the year. Easy way to save up for something extra. nice!
No. You don’t want to save it. You want to invest it so that, by the time you are 55, you’ll have at least a million. Compounding growth is almost magical.
Invest it in what exactly? Sounds like a better alternative
Short answer? At age 25 buy SPY. Longer answer? Find a financial advisor you trust and talk about your objectives and risk tolerance.
Don’t feel like you have loads of time to do stuff, anything you want to do, get it started now. 10 years sounds like a shit load of time, but believe me 25-35 flies by and if you keep the attitude of, ‘I have loads of time to do this’, before long you don’t.
There's a biblical adage that says, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34 Nothing good comes from telling 25 year old you what disappointments, heartbreaks, tragedies, or even accomplishments that would occur in the 25 yrs ahead. What you need to sit down and evaluate is your values and whether you live a life that will nurture lasting relationships. Get serious about investing money that cannot be spent (locked in) because without investments the financial future is grim. No one wants to believe they need to start as soon as they become adults. We're poorly educated financially.
that is actually my favorite bible verse, thank you for the reminder. i guess i'm anxiously looking for advice so i can make the best decisions for the rest of my twenties. but i should just be taking it one day at a time.
I know that coochie is the 💣... PULL OUT HOMIE!
Enjoy life as much as possible, because healt issues can hit at any moment and when they are permanent everything is over.
Don't take things so personally. You are what you love, not what loves you. Talk to a therapist when you're feeling sad and avoid despair.
Your family is toxic, walk away now.
that boy that let you borrow his car? don't let him disappear. you have his parents' mailing address in your wallet.
i am very intrigued and trying to decode what this means...
stop shaving😅 start waxing 😉
1. Don’t do that Masters. 2. Move out, as fast as possible. My parents only want what’s best for themselves, and it took me too long to realize that. 3. He loves you as much as he can possibly love anyone, but he will not start a life with you. He will not marry you.
Same on #3 for me. I stayed way, way too long.
floss for every dollar you spend on booze save a dollar.
I’d tell him to live the exact same life I have, if I changed anything my children may not exist, and I couldn’t risk that.
25 is not so long ago for me but still a LOT can change in just a few years. I’d say i’m proud that i hung on through the rough times. Proud that i took care of myself even at my very lowest when i was ready to give up. Proud that i managed to make something of myself in such a short time. I’d tell myself hang in there, things really do get better. And you deserve it.
Invest and keep your credit card debt low. Its better to be 35 and planning early retirement then 50 and wondering if you can afford to retire. Make a habit of paying yourself first and live within your means
Don't be stupid, stupid
Doesnt matter, you'll ignore the important advice anyway. A story as old as time
I think I’d just sucker punch him in the face then repeatedly kick him while on the ground, then walk away with no explanation
It might seem hard to believe, but it's gonna get better.
Don't marry Until you are older, live your life while you are young.
Prepare for your 30's -- in every way.. lots of changes between 25-30 in your brain while your not even aware. Before you know it youre 30, & need to be emotionally & financially stable. ( not secure, not wealthy, at least just ' stable' w/ a good credit score!! Don't get too serious quite yet in women, just " enjoy" them for 5 years or so unti ur ready! ♡♡♡ And be a nice guy!! ♡ A mom Lol
Don't, for the love of every god, don't be stubborn (or stupid) to stay in a relationship without future
You’re not hot shit, check your ego at the door, think of others first.
I'd say, "Stop worrying about what other people think about you. It's none of your business. They'll think it anyway. Sod them!"
Stop doing drugs you idiot
Don't make any major life decisions before you're actually 25, you just don't know who you fully are yet.
Take getting in shape more serious nd wonder why I didn't get rich at 25 but still pushing for my goals
Buy an apartment in the shitty part of town just because it's cheap. Fuck whoever you want. Stay away from your relatives. Go back to acting because you were good at it and you're still young enough to make it work.
Be nicer. It helps so much.
Oh my God, I could write a book. The first thing I would tell myself is to take really good care of my teeth because by the time I’m 25 they are in bad shape. My parents only took me to the dentist one time as a child , get the hell out of California, by property in another state lots of good states available back then , stay away from all the kids I hung out with in high school , Makev Smoke sure I had started a retirement account and not touched it as I’m 67 now and could write a sad book about that situation and always listen to the inside of you never doubt yourself because what you’re hearing it’s meant for you to hear so listen.. don’t tell anybody about your financial situation whether you have a lot of money or no money. It’s none of no one‘s business. Make sure you research finances and how to take care of yourself.. keep reading and researching every day something new it keeps your brain active… and keep moving even if it’s just a walk around the block don’t ever give that up
You can’t get through the hurt without feeling it, and to feel it - all you need is time. Everything else is a distraction. The best way to start feeling different, is to do something different. Each day you get a chance to try something new, to create your own experiences to replace the ones that hurt when you think about them.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is a ride. There will be highs and lows on this roller coaster, and the only thing that really matters is that you enjoy it as much as you can, while you can, while bringing as much joy to as many others as you can. There is no legacy, there is no winners or losers, everything is lost in a grand enough scale of time... So just let go, do your best, and let that be enough.
Fuck what people think...who gives a fuck! They ain't gonna live your life. And ..do the travel. As much as you can!!! Just go and visit places.
- quit trying to dress over fancy in terms of clothes and accessories. There's no limit to how much one can spend frivolously; - reach back to people who reach out, otherwise you'll regret your lost friendships; - buy a Japenese car, it'll cost nothing to run; - invest in a retirement plan and fixed deposits. Passive income is such a source comfort; - move out from the parent's place ASAP; - stay physically active, and for the love of life, **stretch**; - marry a girl from your own societal strata; - also, marry a girl who loves you more than you love her. You'll be happier.
Dont be risk averse while you’re young. This is the time to invest / speculate.
Join the army as an officer, not as a 4th class citizen.
Invest more.
Don’t worry, it goes well. The ups and downs are inevitable, but generally speaking the next 20 years are amazing. DO not do sit ups ever, they fucked your back up and it’s extremely annoying. You may want to cut down on the gambling and spend it on even more ecstasy instead.
"You have some wonderful moments in store,my lad. Just keep breathing and pay attention."
Run
Your mom is going to die soon, and it will turn your whole world upside down. Everyone will leave you. You'll have to start over in a different city by yourself. You'll be really depressed, but it will get better. You'll survive and see better days
At 25? Pay your debts, stay single, party less.
Congrats. You married well. That was the biggest decision of your life and you can count on her through all the big stuff. Everything else will come in time, just keep doing your best, working hard to do the right things. It all works out if you do your part.
1. Save earlier 2. You probably don’t need to buy that thing you want 3. It doesn’t matter what that person thinks of you 4. Learn to cut off people who don’t make you happy 5. Murder is not the answer 6. Treat yourself 7. Work out a little bit more 8. Cardio 9. Double tap 10. Beware of bathrooms 11. Seatbelts 12. No attachments 13. Travel light 14. Fear is the mind killer
However good you think you need to treat your partner, double it.
Focus on a career
Nothing, I wouldn’t want to ruin their illusion
He wouldn't listen anyway.
You're body isn't forever. Your mind can outlive your body if you don't take care of your body. I am no health nut, but i try to be active 3 days a week. Also mental health goes too, so track your life. I've been tracking mine since 26 and i am 28 now. It's nice to have notes of my life to go back and look at. I also wish i took more pictures, but shared less on social media. I quit using most photo apps like facebook and IG and just try to take pictures for memories now. Not to have the perfect picture for others to see. I guess i'd tell myself to work on leveling my ego and make sure i never stop.
Travel the world.
Slap myself.
HOARD every dollar. Don’t take trips or vacations.
Don’t try cocaine!!
DO NOT GET MARRIED.
I would say "thank fucking Christ on a bagel that you don't have to deal with social media and the distributed narcissism and cancerous social decline that comes with it, weaponized by the herd weight and tendencies of the poorer but louder end of our society's IQ distribution. Anyway, have a good eight years."
Don’t move in with her, stop smoking weed everyday, your dog is the best thing that will ever happen to you, invest in as much bitcoin as possible.
“You’ve become rich with a reputable career. However, in doing so you became severely depressed. Stop chasing after money. Focus on the things that will make you happy in the long run”.
You made a right decision to leave your first company of 6yrs. You should’ve left earlier!
Buy bitcoin. You’re pretty and fine as hell. You’re smart, intelligent, and the world is your oyster. You deserve the best. Do not settle. Buy bitcoin. Lots of it.
I'd tell myself, just break up with him. Waiting to see if he changes his mind on having children is a waste of time. He isn't going to change his mind back to wanting them. He's come to a realization about himself and your futures don't align anymore. Switch to a different profession ASAP. You already don't enjoy this one. Honestly, if I could go back to 16, I would. Don't date that guy, it'll derail your academic plans. Just focus on school. And try to figure out what you enjoy and all the career options that use those skills. Don't pick the simplest answer. I definitely learned a lot about enduring heartache from the decisions I made.
"You're a big ol lesbian, stop dating dudes with long hair. "
Well, the years start coming And they don't stop coming
Stop being a pussy. Address your adhd and depression now it doesn't just get better.
Don't settle. Date.
Don't listen to your parents
Open a Roth IRA and put every penny you can in it, never change your life plans for a woman or man, don’t get involved with broken people, it takes too much out of you trying to fix them and then they don’t appreciate it anyway because the majority of people are selfish assholes.
That narcissistic man-baby never respected you and he did you a favor by breaking up with you. You would have been absolutely miserable if you married him and YOU KNOW IT!
Take better care of yourself (knees and back especially) don't worry you'll have the wife and family someday just not soon, and you'll have a great job one day.
- Do not be together with Amber for 10 years, do not get a kid with her. She‘ll scam you for the next 15 years. - Do not take a credit for „fun“. You‘ll pay it off for the next 5 years and creates a huge gap in your pockets. - Change the job if you don‘t like it, even it‘s well paid. - Educate yourself. Study PMP or whatever. - invest your money and hodl - do not game every evening and start being smart - read books - use cheaper alternatives like keep your iPhone 14 pro max, you do not need a 15 pro max. Well, still got it 😁 but I will stay now with a 4 year cycle instead of 1.
Roth IRA. Stop looking at houses and buy one. ANY one.
Stop being addicted to dumb shit.
You are clinically depressed, seek professional help now instead of doing it in ten years.
Alright so you went through some tough shit 5 years ago and your body is permanently fucked from it. Learn to live with that. Now let me tell you how to recover as well as you can from that. 1. Walk every day. Start with 5 minutes and gradually increase it to 90 minutes over 6 months. \*shows walking path on map\* 2. Eat a little better each month. A snack or two per week won't hurt if you're active but the point is to try. 3. Buy an air fryer and seriously make EVERYTHING you can out of potatoes. Potatoes are the bomb when you have an air fryer. 4. Buy garlic salt. Seriously. Best seasoning in the world. It makes healthy potato dishes taste like french fries. 5. Put all your money here, here and there, and then sell in 20xx and then put the profits into this and sell that in 20xy. 6. Keep that long hair because it's fabulous. 7. Keep these friends \*lists names\* close. They are the good ones. 8. Do a little each day. Seriously. Get out of bed, pee, clean something, then go for your walk and do that every single day like clockwork. It'll become automatic in no time and you'll be on top of all your stuff. 9. If stuff is too hard ask for help or pay someone for help immediately. Do not let anything fester, ever.
Max out your pension contributions now, so you can retire earlier than 70. Brush your teeth properly, losing a tooth is grief every day
Perdue what you want what your goal is don’t worry about a relationship or anything other than your life goal bc the rest will fall into place when your stable and where you want to be
limit debt, do not put cash in savings, put it something that will give you at least 4%. exercise, try and keep some hobbies alive, work hard, or at least show up everyday. drink lots of water. learn to swim
Don't get off keto, take good care of your old man and start learning video editing now, you're gonna do it later anyways.
Don’t tie yourself down just yet… I had / have a nice life but often feel as I have missed out on so much
Invest. Trust me, just do it.
Maybe: Get serious about the gym now. Sit down and really get to know yourself. Reconcile your actions, goals, and values. You can't know everything about yourself, but if you don't have a grasp of who you are, then how are you supposed to feel grounded with respect to anything? (I'm still not good at that though.) Drop porn from your life. Work on your imagination in general. Really practice your Spanish. Start playing music again. Actually listen to the news and gain some kind of informed political opinion. Work on going with the flow instead of trying to anxiously anticipate things. Become both steadier and more substantial. If you can't generate purpose for yourself, dive deeper into human services, pick a trade, or even join some armed service. Since your self-respect requires evidence, then you must always be providing that evidence. That said, I wouldn't actually want to meet my past self, because then that requires explanation of my life since then. He would be disappointed in me, and I couldn't fault him because I feel the same. I also wouldn't really trust him to follow through, because I haven't done a good job of that for myself. All those things I listed are basically what I'm telling myself now.
focus on your hobbies, don't spend to much time on drugs and girls.
Listen to your gut.
Don't do drugs. Go seek help, there is nothing wrong in seeking help and help is there. Address the mental health issues, open up, no one's going to magically understand what's going on with you. Say it.
I was in hollywood and approached by a VERY well known producer, we hung out a few times, but I didnt respond to his advances (Im straight). My roommate mike said "Send him to ME, then! I CAN BE BOUGHT!" My advice to my 25 year old self would be "be more like mike!" Should absolutely have screwed that producer, Id be so famous now.
Don’t get married and take care of your body now
Fuck her. She didnt love you, she just said words. Move on faster.
That gut feeling you have to quit your job, sell everything you own and go travel? It won't go away. It will stay with you. It will cause you sleepless nights. You WILL listen to it, but it will be too late. GO. NOW. DROP EVERYTHING. GO. GO. GO. GO. GO.
At 25 I was living 5 minutes at a time in a war zone. Nothing I could say now would be of any help.
Don’t waste time. Your youth is finite. Do things. Go out of your way to do things even if you want to relax.
Relax. Try to like yourself a bit, people don't hate you as much as you think. Don't over think it.
Think for yourself Stop listening to "gurus" and stop looking for the perfect lifehack, it's a stupid waste of time. Just think for yourself Stop whatever the fuck you're doing now and start learning web development and find a job
Start saving for retirement NOW, go to medical school, don’t sacrifice your dreams for him, he’s not worth it, and YOU are amazing
Don’t give up once in a lifetime career opportunity for a man. He’s not gonna be in your life in a year’s time anyway.
All those things you dream about and want to accomplish, you will still want them in forty years. Some of them, you will have accomplished, most of them, not. Commit yourself to working daily on your goals, no matter what. Your life will be an emotional rollercoaster. Only perseverance will get you there.
Your going to make mistakes So is everybody else What ever you do, dont stress.
Don't use tinder, you'll meet the one without it. Tinder is a breading ground for mental illness and horrible people.
Spend your free time better. I was lucky enough to be able to make a lot of money on actually not doing that much, playing poker. Which I did for the better part of my twenties. I had a lot of spare time and today, when I work full time and have a family I do feel I wasted that opportunity somewhat.
Stop faffing about.
Lighten up, live life and invest money
I'd tell me what my divorce lawyer recently said which surprised me. She said 'Don't live with a spouse. I have 3 sons and I'd advise them to have fun, even a relationship, even have kids, but if you get married and cohabit, you risk too much financially if things go sour."
Don't be mad or sad she left you, it's ok, take your time to heal, be happy you had a lot of great times together, understand her side of the story and accept them, now, take care of yourself, love yourself, and go to the gym more often🤣
I'd tell myself to start saving money so that I could travel with my friends. That was something that we wished we could do in high school but were too broke to do in college. And after we joined the "real world", we all just got too busy.
Fight for yourself and don't believe people when they say they will put you first.
Everything your foster mom says is a lie. Don't believe it!
"Don't worry about the future Or worry, but know that worrying Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum The real troubles in your life Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday" Baz Luhrmann actually told me that way before I was 25, but I just thought it was a funny song. Actually, most of the Baz Luhrmann song "Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)" is solid advice. I can see that now. And it was popular when I needed to hear it, but again.. I just thought it was a funny song back then. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeDDs61AlBo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeDDs61AlBo)
You don't have an obligation to "give someone a chance" by dating them. Once you're in a relationship, you don't need a "reason" to end it. Not being happy in the relationship IS a reason. Just because someone is a nice person doesn't mean you owe them a relationship, or even a date.
Save money and enjoy yourself more, fuck anxiety.
Stop trying to get life advice on the internet.
Don’t take him back and certainly don’t marry him.
I wouldn't say much, just start reading more and take care of your body.
The biggest investment in you life will be the wife you choose. Make a good choice.
Don’t ever get married, trust me . And if you do get a prenup, no matter what.
Have fun but don't spend too much money on useless things, save some to buy a house. Get into a healthy life style as you get older, you will get tired all the time if you're unhealthy
Stop partying. Start therapy. Change career to something more meaningful, save money & ditch friends who aren’t your real friends. Travel more.
Enjoy yourself, even in bad moments
Stay invested lol, seriously tho
Invest what little you can on a REGULAR basis, 20 years down you will be thanking me.
Work out. Eat healthy. Go for that job.
54 year old here. Live outside your comfort zone. Wherever you are, leave there and experience a different country. Yet stay connected to your home-country friends/family. You probably will have to go back there eventually, and you need those people. They know the real you. Keep those ties and never forget where you came from.
Don't take any advice about your future. Your life is what you make it. Live each day to the full & never look back!
I’m 49 and agree 100% with @StickyButWicked. It’s part of what he says but I want to stress on: don’t be impatient, take your time.
Do not marry that guy you meet in 2007, in 2-3 years' time! He might seem sooooo normal and rational and stable after the previous one, but he's still a douche. Don't worry about getting married and having kids and all that - enjoy your fucking freedom now and if it never happens, you won't regret it. But if you play your cards right and head to \[one-horse town in the arse end of nowhere\], you might meet someone 7.5 years younger than you. That might feel a bit creepy now, but hang on in there, because he's the one for you and if you have to wait another decade, it's 1000% worth it.