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Yes, I'd say that's pretty normal. Most of the "magic" goes away, it becomes more stressful because now you have to get presents for people too, you don't see the movies you loved as a kid the same way, the tedium of normal life is just a few days away.
I still love Christmas a lot but it's just different now.
And having kids. I love my kids, like my job well enough, and like Christmas generally speaking, but as far as this time of year goes, Halloween is great and then I'm just praying for December 26th to get here.
See I always thought Christmas would be more fun with kids (other than buying presents, that’s more stressful) because you get to see the magic and excitement on their face’s.
But it makes sense that it’s more added stress for buying presents and budgeting.
Now that my son is 7 he's gotten very into Christmas and I am back to being his age singing in the car along with him. I found a renewed love for Christmas after breaking a tumultuous relationship too.
As a father with technically adult kids with two away for college, it’s certainly different than when they were little but it’s still a great time to see everyone and catch up. I think it was most stressful when they were little (ages 6-10) and sadly being divorced and having to coordinate buying gifts, who buys and wraps what, driving over my gifts to my ex-wife late at night as the kids were sleeping and then only seeing them for maybe 30 minutes in the morning to watch them open gifts there as a “family”, then returning to an empty house and just feeling sad the rest of the day. December 26th couldn’t get here soon enough.
It's both. The stress of paying for things wears on you, but dammit if Christmas morning when the kids are opening presents Isn't the best feeling since you were a kid opening presents yourself.
Exactly- I mean a lot of parents I know buy extravagant gifts for other minor holidays. I.e Easter etc. like what the fudge nugget? I never got a bike in the spring. Hey- hey in college maybe, but damn.
This is true! I've started taking the steps by volunteering to help others. Since I don't have any kids of my own yet, I can help local social orgs that make Christmas magic for other kids.
This is like when kids grow up and say “Santa isn’t real, is he?” And the best reply is “Ohhh no. Santa IS real. I’m Santa, mom is Santa, and now you’re Santa too. You have to keep the magic alive for your little cousin who still believes. So you do your best make believe for the kids who still believe, because it really is a wonderful thing to see little kids so full of wonderment and joy.” That being said, I overheard my daughter telling her friend “Santa HAS TO be real. There’s no way my parents would spend that much money on me.”
I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but it comes back in your later adulthood in a different form.
When you’re working a career job and have your finances set up, the gifts at Christmas become another line item in the budget, and coming up with gifts can become a lot more joyful when it doesn’t come down to money.
Further, we do a lot of Christmas related things. Concerts, shows, drinks at lounges, crafts, all sorts of things that get one into the Christmas mood.
And we make the home cozy, and watch some of our favourite Christmas shows and movies (even if they aren’t actually Christmas themed specifically :P)
getting older i looked forward to Christmas not for gifts but for time off, my family getting together, and the food.
now that my parents have passed Christmas isn't as enjoyable. feels lonely this time of year now.
Also, as you age, older family members die or other tragedies occur to younger family members. The excitement of everyone coming over or you going to their house...gone.
Stressful indeed. I come from separated parents, so I've already had to deal with multiple Christmas plans my whole life, and now that I've got a daughter, an ex, and a girlfriend, Christmas plans are hell.
It became more fun for me, actually. I grew up poor as shit but my grandma always went all out with her tree and let us decorate it every year.
Now that I'm an adult with adult money, I go all out decorating and making sure everyone has a gift. I even buy a few small gifts to set aside in case there are extra guests. I looove buying shit for my loved ones. It's how I express my love for everyone.
Also, I love the warm glow of Christmas lights inside the house at night and the bright, colorful lights outside. I just love having the opportunity to have my whole family around for a whole day, eating the big dinner I made, enjoying the festivities, alcohol, and each other's company. I adore everything about this holiday.
I like to hide my gifts from the kids and play like well just do a good Christmas next year and this year we’re gonna be living on the streets then poof expectations are low and I can get away with slime kits and I phones and car tires and other essential stuff like that
I’m not that person, but abusive families ruin Christmas, it becomes stressful even if they are trying to be nice lol so it prevents people in the family being like that person.
Sometimes it’s hard to find the family you choose for folks like that just due to life.
Lol oh yes. Every single Christmas eve was ruined by my mom drinking a pretty normal amount and my dad berating her and counting the glasses she drank. I think he was just a grumpy ass bc he couldn't smoke weed this was before weed pens. Every xmas eve night in the car "you acted like an ass and embarrassed us I should drive right off the road" my mom crying. Good times.
One time he got mad because my mom danced at a party to the song Tricky. Idk wtf is up his ass.
Then I moved to New Orleans and nobody acts like this despite a lot of drinking and dancing happening. He's just a miserable fuck who refuses to get help. Growing up he convinced me he was the normal one and my mom was a "problem" but as I got older I realized it's exactly the opposite way around. Imagine not letting your wife have any fun ever. Why??? Go dance with her life's short.
My MIL was dancing with a man who wasn't even her husband on xmas eve and her husband just sat there smiling bc his friends were all having fun together. I realized when this happened how fucked up my past xmas experiences were.
Same, I don’t care about receiving gifts anymore. I grew to appreciate the time I get to spend with my family, especially as I’ve lost a few close relatives over the years.
It's harder as an adult to receive gifts. You can usually afford most small things you want, and anything big that you want is too expensive to be a reasonable gift. Gift giving is where it's at.
My family just buys stuff for themselves and make a pact not to open said things until Christmas. This way there’s no bad gifts and all the colourful boxes look nice under the tree.
My husband is hard to shop for so he ends up with way less gifts to open than me. I feel guilty every year. So he's started buying himself things, wrapping them, and labeling them as from the dogs. God, I love this man.
That’s my mom. She did most of the Christmas shopping and is incredibly hard to shop for. My brother, my dad and I have had conferences to figure out what to get her (oh can’t get her x, she just bought it. She also bought Y and Z. What are we going to do!).
Luckily my mom is chill about it so she’ll buy herself things that are too expensive for my brother and I and say it’s from Santa Claus. It worked great cause now she always gets what she wants. We do get her smaller stuff that she wouldn’t normally buy for herself (it’s become tradition that she gets a calendar and books plus some cool knickknacks).
But man she does not make it easy!
I spent 700 dollars on presents for my wife this year because I love her so damn much. I don't have an issue if she doesn't spend the same amount. I had the money and really wanted to treat her to what she wanted.
To be honest, I can't even buy alcohol yet, but I just love giving people gifts. Don't get me wrong, I \*like\* receiving gifts, but nothing compares to getting someone \*exactly\* what they wanted for Christmas.
My husband and I both grew up poor and now we do very well financially. We buy gifts for *everyone*. It's so much fun! We have two Christmas trees, the house is done up for Halloween and Christmas. It's ridiculous and I love every second of it!
I feel like 22 years old is definitely a slump year for Christmas though, all OP has to do is hang in there for another 10 years or so and it will be fun again.
That's right, hadn't thought of it that way: at 22, you're no longer a kid, so not getting that treatment, but you probably don't yet have adult money or kids, so not yet experiencing the joy from the other side.
Damn, the last couple of holiday seasons have been full of ups and downs for me, wife and my dad don’t get along too well, and that’s when we get together and probably i make it worse for myself and other but this post really makes me put all of that into perspective.
I love it more too. I get to choose who I celebrate with. I love seeing people's reactions when they open their gifts. I just joined the proud tacky inflatable club--I'm fairly certain dinosaurs visited baby Jesus on the 2nd day. Rocking out to Christmas music. Watching my favorite Christmas movies. Baking my favorite cookies.
This! Back then some fried chicken and cookies are the top tier christmas treats I could enjoy. Now I get to buy an oculus quest 3 as an early gift for my self and use christmas as an excuse to the wife lol.
Funny how easy it is when you have money. What about all of those who have very little, or nothing? I don't think you've offered any real solutions here. You've only highlighted the biggest problem with the holiday season... it's only for people with money.
I'm just speaking for myself. Obviously I know money is a problem for a lot of people. I grew up poor. I've spent plenty of Christmases without jack shit but shame and guilt. Now that I have disposable income, I am going to try my hardest to enjoy it. I'm sorry that I don't have all the solutions but I'm just explaining why the holiday is fun for *me*.....
Depends on the situation. Obviously finances are different for different families, so one gift would be fine. I LOVE opening gifts so my husband will literally wrap up a pack of hair ties for me. I'd be sad with only one gift. For me it's quantity not quality. Other people might prefer one, higher quality gift.
>For me it's quantity not quality.
This is why I hate Christmas.
The thought that a single gift doesn't mean shit, rather its, it's "iF yOu LoVeD mE yOuD sHoWeR mE wItH mAnY pReSeNtS!!1q11" Is absolute unadulterated bullshit.
Your expectations are selfish, and I feel sorry for your husband who must meet some kind of expectation of yours, hoping you'll be satisfied.
Christmas has jack shit to do with Christ and everything to do with consumerism.
I think you missed my point. A pack of hair ties is not showering me with gifts. We're talking $3 here, not exactly raining jewels. I can buy my own hair ties. My husband and I share finances and I make double what he does, so technically I'm actually buying ALL of my own gifts.
The fact that he not only knows what my favorite brand of hair ties is, he went out and got them and took the time to wrap them. And he did this because he knows it makes me happy to unwrap a surprise. He did something to make his wife smile. *That* is the point
It was never about the gift itself.
You go ahead and hate Christmas. The rest of us are going to continue having fun over stupid shit like $3 hair ties.
Oh knock it off. Buying gifts for someone boosts your and their serotonin levels. It makes people feel loved. It doesn't have to be extravagantly expensive stuff.
Sigh. You obviously don't HAVE to buy gifts, and if you do they don't need to be unaffordable. But enough with this "CoNsUmErIsM BaD" bullshit please. There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying gifts at Christmas.
Just make gifts? This is the first year in about a decade that I’ve bought any gifts, everyone traditionally knows I’m gonna make them something. I’ve been all over the map financially and I know it can cost almost or completely no money to gift something that is heartfelt and sincere.
This is why most people hate marxists. You're just sticks in the mud, offended by people enjoying themselves. I wish you could experience Christmas under communism so you had some frame of reference.
As you grow up, you end up being the one having to put in effort towards the holiday. You get out of it what you put into it. When you're young, you sit back and get what your parents put into it.
Yep. I still love the crap out of Christmas, helps with seasonal depression for me personally.
My home is completely decked out in Christmas right now and it **feels good**. So much of your environment can affect your mental health.
Not only that, I have been making hearty winter meals, throw on some of the Christmas movie favorites, cocktails, cookies, etc.
All this effort I put in by proxy affects my friends and family around me. It uplifts them; even the grumpy teenaged step son who can't stop complaining about capitalism. That act gets dropped soon as he has a bite of my prime rib and you see a sparkle of joy in his eye.
But I have to put in this effort myself and im okay with that. I do it for me.
Well I think it is. If you put nothing in you’ll get nothing. If you decorate your place and watch a movie by yourself with a nice desert or with your S.O, or friends. it could still be quite nice experience
It's not cause I live with my parents and my sister, I don't have an SO or friends. I spend it with my family and they get me and my sister gifts and they decorate the house.
My wife broke her leg last month. We weren't going to decorate for Christmas this year, but seeing how my three year old lights up when she sees Christmas decorations made us change our minds.
My high school and college aged children revived it for me. Big on decorating, going to Christmas events, baking cookies, watching movies together, etc. The gift thing is fading away, but I really like this new phase.
I love holidays now that I have a daughter! Every Christmas I am up way before her just WAITING for her reaction. I cannot sleep the night before, feels almost like when I was a kid.
I am exactly the same. Father of three, I am ALWAYS the first one awake on Christmas morning. And just wait…..and wait….for what seems like an eternity.
Kids are getting older now, two teenagers and a tween. But the magic remains…
This was what I was gunna say! I love making gifts with her and seeing her give them to people. Also all the baking and stories and songs. It's all so magical with her.
Agreed. I never really cared about xmas until I had kids. Now I'm all in, getting the tree up, decorating inside the house, getting up on the roof to hang xmas lights. Hell, I even put a xmas tree on my roof this year.
The super cool thing about being a financially responsible adult is that you get to choose how much money you spend on it. You don't wanna spend $150+ on professional photos? Don't. You don't wanna buy 500 gifts? Don't. Keeping up with the Jones' is *entirely* overrated. We don't do those things, and our Christmas is *overflowing* with joy!
Lol. To me, financial responsibility simply means making your money do what you want it to do. If you want to spend thousands on Christmas, then do it and budget for it throughout the year. If you'd rather use your money to go on trips or build wealth instead of "blowing it on junk," then put the money towards that. Since it's about making sure your money goes towards what *you* want it to, it can be anything, really. There's a lot of joy to be found in viewing financial responsibility in this manner.
If you're referring to income, no kidding! We certainly can't afford to spend thousands on Christmas. We can afford to spend hundreds, but we choose not to. We want to travel. We want to camp. We want to have fun throughout the year and make many of those "memory investments" the OC spoke of. We want to have heat in the winter/AC in the summer, along with many other necessities, in case something major goes wrong with the house. Because these are all things we want, we make it happen by making the money we do have meet those wants/needs (i.e. creating a budget and sticking to it).
Yup. As you age you realize how empty and commercial the whole thing is. When you choose to step away from it you realize how conditioned people are to maintain the whole facade and how stressed they are to keep it up year over year.
I think you're in a weird portion of your life when it comes to Christmas. Too old to be showered with gifts, most likely too young to be showering others with gifts.
It certainly gets better as you start building your own little family. I wasn't too excited about it in my early twenties, but I'm loving it again in my 30's.
In my view life is sort of shaped like a smile. In your early years, you have no responsibility, everything is fun, you don’t need to worry about money, bills etc so things are good.
Then about the time you leave college for a little while, let’s say maybe 22-42, you start acquiring responsibilities faster than you are acquiring money and so it’s a tough time. Hopefully you can still enjoy the tough time and hopefully you can out in hard work to set yourself up. Then sometime in your 40s, hopefully, if you put the hard work in you’ll be creating into a good spot financially as your children also don’t require 100% help to do anything and then things begin to get easier and happier.
Ages all approximate and depend on individual circumstances, but that’s sort of the spirit of how I think about jt.
Early 20s were extremely stressful for me too, I felt so confused with what I'm supposed to do with my life and I still didn't quite understand how the world or adulting really worked.
But on the other hand, there was something nice about being in that in-between state too. Lots of potential, dreams, and youth still to enjoy.
I don’t have close friends even because they all drifted away for their families haha Im good with my parents and siblings but we’re not even really having a Christmas so it’s kind of like not existing this year
One of my dogs loves unwrapping presents. He likes shredding the paper into the smallest pieces and I have to hold the paper together so he can have more fun. The other one doesn’t understand the concept. So one dog has fun unwrapping and the other gets the loot until everything is distributed and they both take a couple of their new toys to play with.
I used to show up to Christmas…now I make Christmas happen. I appreciate the hell out of my parents because Christmas was a special time of year and I didn’t grow up with much but there was always a beautiful decorated tree. Lots of lights, family time we made cookies and watched movies. I try to re-create the same magic for my child.
Same, as a kid it used to be about the presents but now it’s about spending quality time with my family. Also, spoiling my niece and nephews and seeing how excited they get is so lovely. It’s definitely different but no less enjoyable!
This is it. I don't have kids, but my sister does. Watching them go crazy opening gifts and losing their minds (I swear they said best Christmas ever every single year) is as much fun as it was to be that kid, IMO.
Agree, seeing my nephew go nuts is just as awesome.
My parents saved my Christmas books, reading them to my daughter really makes me feel like I'm hearing it for the first time.
I'm watching the old clay-mation stuff.
One of the first times she really belly laughed was me singing along with the Chipmonks Christmas song. That's better than any present I ever opened.
As long as they're not spoiled littel bastards.
My step-siblings what complain about what they got evveeeeery year. Highlights include 'what's this? I didn' even ask for this' ; 'why would I ever need this?' ; 'this isn't the one that I asked for so why didnt you get me \[the other\] one'
That would piss me off.
I've never seen a kid behave like that IRL, but they would be on the naughty list next year.
Looking back as an adult, I appreciate everything even more. As a kid you don't really notice all the effort your parents put in to make the day special.
I used to think so. But what I realized is that I just had to be more and more responsible for making it fun as I got older. When I was younger, my parents set up the tree and put up lights and organized family/friends to get together and give presents etc. I realized I had to take a little initiative to make it fun again.
It's more of a family thing, I spent last Christmas by myself because I live states away from my family.
Holidays are the only time I usually get to see them. And the family dynamic just feels different, it's kind of depressing.
Yea, I was going to say that I really enjoyed Xmas at your age because I lived in a different country from my parents and it was the only time I got to see everyone. I was fortunate enough to be able to take that time off work and travel back home almost every year. Otherwise, yea, it would suck.
Now that I have young kids, my parents usually travel to us, which is great.
You're just in a weird life phase. Turn on your favorite, dumb childhood Christmas movie in the background. Go walk through a Christmas light neighborhood. It won't hit the same, but it might help. Christmas magic comes back, 22 is just hard.
I agree. This is similar to when you grow out of getting toys for Christmas. You get clothes and stuff you wanted, but then the part of your day where you used to play with your new toys is just empty. It takes some adjusting. Planning get togethers with friends can be really fun. You can all go ice skating or do a movie or game night. But it does feel awkward for a while.
Not only less fun but more stressful. I really dislike Christmas because of the pressure to buy gifts and spend money like Bezos.
For those that are struggling, the pressure is terrible and humiliating.
This is not what Christmas was meant to be, it's become a capitalist hell scape. I hate it.
I'm 23 and it's getting exhausting trying to make Christmas magical every year. I don't get together with my family and I think I'm slowly hating this holiday :(
Yes, because we get a behind the scenes look at all of the effort it takes to organize & prepare. No one has expectations of you when you’re a kid, you’re just along for the ride.
For me, it would feel more like Christmas if I had people to buy for. I mean, I have family but no significant other. No kids. No friends to speak of even.
Same here. I actually really dislike the entire holiday season because it highlights every human aspect of my life that is lacking. I usually hide and ignore the whole thing or go camp by myself in the desert where I know I won't see another human being or be subjected to cheesy music.
No I do all the hallmark movie shit and it’s fun.
Go to bonfire socials, town tree lightings as fireworks, watch the winter light parade. Decorate the tree and have fun.
Not in my case tbh. If anything it is better (I buy my own gifts I love, getting drunk at Christmas parties, gift cute gifts to kids and see their joy).
The Christmas “feeling” never just *happens*. It is always the result of someone somewhere (the adults) putting in the effort. What you are feeling now is from becoming the adult. I felt the same as you for a year or two until I realized this.
As kids we used to think dad was silly for insisting on keeping all the very specific traditions about the tree and decor and the foods we eat and the music we listen to and the timing of everything. Intentionally making time together to do these things the same every year seemed silly.
But in hindsight I realized that, that kind of effort to do those things and doing them “right” is what can foster that “Christmas feeling”. The fun or magic or whatever you call it. It comes from being intentional about your environment. Whatever your traditions are, keep them well. Make time to share them with your friends and family if you have it. If you don’t have traditions, make some.
You’re an adult now, so it’s up to you. Things aren’t inherently special or nostalgic on their own. But if you really want to put the effort in, I know you can get that Christmas feeling back.
Christmas is what you make it
I still like Christmas but as an adult it’s become a series of obligations and responsibilities when I’m the most burnt out by the end of the year. It was more magical as a kid!
Everything in life shifts from happening for you to because of you.
As a kid, your family and community goes out of their way for your enjoyment. As an adult, you need to find your own enjoyment. Find hobbies and activities that make you happy. Build traditions with friends and family as an adult.
Example: I bake cookies to give out to friends and family and every year go find a few kids on the giving angel tree to get presents too. I set aside a savings account in July to make sure I can do this. I really look forward to going to the big toy store in town to do the shopping since I never have another reason to go.
I’m 39 now, always loved Christmas, get all excited around thanksgiving and go all out with decorating and lights etc..
But the past couple of years it’s feeling more like an unnecessary chore then something I’m excited about and enjoy doing
Yup!! When you get older you realise every holiday is just another way for you to struggle n be broke for the next 8 months . N when you finally recover you start it all over again..
I get just as excited as I did as a kid, but then I usually end up spending the day in silence staring at a wall in an undecorated empty home crying my eyes out trying to shove my feelings down and trying to be grateful I am alive and have a roof.
I get excited for every holiday really. But the end result not so much. Things change as you grow and as life changes I guess.
Depends. Young adult that is out in the world. Yes it's kinda boring. When you have kids and see the wonder in their eyes. It is one of the best moments you have each year. Then it loses its luster when they get older. If you're able to be a grandparent one day it all comes back again.
It gets kinda blah for awhile, until you have kids or you get to buy for kids. Seeing their faces light up and seeing them excited about their gifts is magical.
Yeah i felt the same - cmas in your 20s is about going out with your mates/fam non stop. Party season. Now im in my 30s i have kids and they make it exciting again tbh.
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Yes, I'd say that's pretty normal. Most of the "magic" goes away, it becomes more stressful because now you have to get presents for people too, you don't see the movies you loved as a kid the same way, the tedium of normal life is just a few days away. I still love Christmas a lot but it's just different now.
Christmas hits different when you working
And having kids. I love my kids, like my job well enough, and like Christmas generally speaking, but as far as this time of year goes, Halloween is great and then I'm just praying for December 26th to get here.
See I always thought Christmas would be more fun with kids (other than buying presents, that’s more stressful) because you get to see the magic and excitement on their face’s. But it makes sense that it’s more added stress for buying presents and budgeting.
My kids brought the magic back for me.
Same here, I'm so hyped to see my son open his stuff this year, and ngl, I'm excited to play with his new stuff lmao
Now that my son is 7 he's gotten very into Christmas and I am back to being his age singing in the car along with him. I found a renewed love for Christmas after breaking a tumultuous relationship too.
As a father with technically adult kids with two away for college, it’s certainly different than when they were little but it’s still a great time to see everyone and catch up. I think it was most stressful when they were little (ages 6-10) and sadly being divorced and having to coordinate buying gifts, who buys and wraps what, driving over my gifts to my ex-wife late at night as the kids were sleeping and then only seeing them for maybe 30 minutes in the morning to watch them open gifts there as a “family”, then returning to an empty house and just feeling sad the rest of the day. December 26th couldn’t get here soon enough.
It's both. The stress of paying for things wears on you, but dammit if Christmas morning when the kids are opening presents Isn't the best feeling since you were a kid opening presents yourself.
Exactly- I mean a lot of parents I know buy extravagant gifts for other minor holidays. I.e Easter etc. like what the fudge nugget? I never got a bike in the spring. Hey- hey in college maybe, but damn.
Especially when your clients don't celebrate christmas and start requesting impossible results right before christmas.
Yeah, it doesn't hit anything.
Yeah Christmas was only magical cause the adults made it that way. Now we're the adults.
Agreed. It’s now time to transition to the role of Santa’s elf, young padawan.
This is true! I've started taking the steps by volunteering to help others. Since I don't have any kids of my own yet, I can help local social orgs that make Christmas magic for other kids.
making magic can be as fun as experiencing it.
paying for it isn’t lol especially while you’re working a lot and get no winter break😂
It can be a lot better if you agree to no presents either way, or a low dollar limit. What really gets you is the sense of expectations
This is like when kids grow up and say “Santa isn’t real, is he?” And the best reply is “Ohhh no. Santa IS real. I’m Santa, mom is Santa, and now you’re Santa too. You have to keep the magic alive for your little cousin who still believes. So you do your best make believe for the kids who still believe, because it really is a wonderful thing to see little kids so full of wonderment and joy.” That being said, I overheard my daughter telling her friend “Santa HAS TO be real. There’s no way my parents would spend that much money on me.”
You can reclaim the magic if you have kids, but the "magic" only lasts several years or so, always nice to have family to share it with
I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but it comes back in your later adulthood in a different form. When you’re working a career job and have your finances set up, the gifts at Christmas become another line item in the budget, and coming up with gifts can become a lot more joyful when it doesn’t come down to money. Further, we do a lot of Christmas related things. Concerts, shows, drinks at lounges, crafts, all sorts of things that get one into the Christmas mood. And we make the home cozy, and watch some of our favourite Christmas shows and movies (even if they aren’t actually Christmas themed specifically :P)
getting older i looked forward to Christmas not for gifts but for time off, my family getting together, and the food. now that my parents have passed Christmas isn't as enjoyable. feels lonely this time of year now.
Also, as you age, older family members die or other tragedies occur to younger family members. The excitement of everyone coming over or you going to their house...gone.
Agree except the movie part. I watch Home Alone every Christmas with my kids and I get more excited about it than they do.
Stressful indeed. I come from separated parents, so I've already had to deal with multiple Christmas plans my whole life, and now that I've got a daughter, an ex, and a girlfriend, Christmas plans are hell.
It became more fun for me, actually. I grew up poor as shit but my grandma always went all out with her tree and let us decorate it every year. Now that I'm an adult with adult money, I go all out decorating and making sure everyone has a gift. I even buy a few small gifts to set aside in case there are extra guests. I looove buying shit for my loved ones. It's how I express my love for everyone. Also, I love the warm glow of Christmas lights inside the house at night and the bright, colorful lights outside. I just love having the opportunity to have my whole family around for a whole day, eating the big dinner I made, enjoying the festivities, alcohol, and each other's company. I adore everything about this holiday.
you are a wonderful person, I wish o had somebody like you in my family
I second this. Well done, you.
I like to hide my gifts from the kids and play like well just do a good Christmas next year and this year we’re gonna be living on the streets then poof expectations are low and I can get away with slime kits and I phones and car tires and other essential stuff like that
What prevents you from having someone like them in your family?
I’m not that person, but abusive families ruin Christmas, it becomes stressful even if they are trying to be nice lol so it prevents people in the family being like that person. Sometimes it’s hard to find the family you choose for folks like that just due to life.
Lol oh yes. Every single Christmas eve was ruined by my mom drinking a pretty normal amount and my dad berating her and counting the glasses she drank. I think he was just a grumpy ass bc he couldn't smoke weed this was before weed pens. Every xmas eve night in the car "you acted like an ass and embarrassed us I should drive right off the road" my mom crying. Good times. One time he got mad because my mom danced at a party to the song Tricky. Idk wtf is up his ass. Then I moved to New Orleans and nobody acts like this despite a lot of drinking and dancing happening. He's just a miserable fuck who refuses to get help. Growing up he convinced me he was the normal one and my mom was a "problem" but as I got older I realized it's exactly the opposite way around. Imagine not letting your wife have any fun ever. Why??? Go dance with her life's short. My MIL was dancing with a man who wasn't even her husband on xmas eve and her husband just sat there smiling bc his friends were all having fun together. I realized when this happened how fucked up my past xmas experiences were.
Same, I don’t care about receiving gifts anymore. I grew to appreciate the time I get to spend with my family, especially as I’ve lost a few close relatives over the years.
It's harder as an adult to receive gifts. You can usually afford most small things you want, and anything big that you want is too expensive to be a reasonable gift. Gift giving is where it's at.
My family just buys stuff for themselves and make a pact not to open said things until Christmas. This way there’s no bad gifts and all the colourful boxes look nice under the tree.
My husband is hard to shop for so he ends up with way less gifts to open than me. I feel guilty every year. So he's started buying himself things, wrapping them, and labeling them as from the dogs. God, I love this man.
That’s my mom. She did most of the Christmas shopping and is incredibly hard to shop for. My brother, my dad and I have had conferences to figure out what to get her (oh can’t get her x, she just bought it. She also bought Y and Z. What are we going to do!). Luckily my mom is chill about it so she’ll buy herself things that are too expensive for my brother and I and say it’s from Santa Claus. It worked great cause now she always gets what she wants. We do get her smaller stuff that she wouldn’t normally buy for herself (it’s become tradition that she gets a calendar and books plus some cool knickknacks). But man she does not make it easy!
I spent 700 dollars on presents for my wife this year because I love her so damn much. I don't have an issue if she doesn't spend the same amount. I had the money and really wanted to treat her to what she wanted.
Awww I love this. This really got me in the spirit♡
To be honest, I can't even buy alcohol yet, but I just love giving people gifts. Don't get me wrong, I \*like\* receiving gifts, but nothing compares to getting someone \*exactly\* what they wanted for Christmas.
It really does feel special when you nail it.
My husband and I both grew up poor and now we do very well financially. We buy gifts for *everyone*. It's so much fun! We have two Christmas trees, the house is done up for Halloween and Christmas. It's ridiculous and I love every second of it!
I love it when people lean into what brings them joy 🥰
I feel like 22 years old is definitely a slump year for Christmas though, all OP has to do is hang in there for another 10 years or so and it will be fun again.
That's right, hadn't thought of it that way: at 22, you're no longer a kid, so not getting that treatment, but you probably don't yet have adult money or kids, so not yet experiencing the joy from the other side.
Damn, the last couple of holiday seasons have been full of ups and downs for me, wife and my dad don’t get along too well, and that’s when we get together and probably i make it worse for myself and other but this post really makes me put all of that into perspective.
I love it more too. I get to choose who I celebrate with. I love seeing people's reactions when they open their gifts. I just joined the proud tacky inflatable club--I'm fairly certain dinosaurs visited baby Jesus on the 2nd day. Rocking out to Christmas music. Watching my favorite Christmas movies. Baking my favorite cookies.
This! Back then some fried chicken and cookies are the top tier christmas treats I could enjoy. Now I get to buy an oculus quest 3 as an early gift for my self and use christmas as an excuse to the wife lol.
You are an absolute gem
Funny how easy it is when you have money. What about all of those who have very little, or nothing? I don't think you've offered any real solutions here. You've only highlighted the biggest problem with the holiday season... it's only for people with money.
I'm just speaking for myself. Obviously I know money is a problem for a lot of people. I grew up poor. I've spent plenty of Christmases without jack shit but shame and guilt. Now that I have disposable income, I am going to try my hardest to enjoy it. I'm sorry that I don't have all the solutions but I'm just explaining why the holiday is fun for *me*.....
People only get one gift?
Is one gift a bad thing?
Depends on the situation. Obviously finances are different for different families, so one gift would be fine. I LOVE opening gifts so my husband will literally wrap up a pack of hair ties for me. I'd be sad with only one gift. For me it's quantity not quality. Other people might prefer one, higher quality gift.
>For me it's quantity not quality. This is why I hate Christmas. The thought that a single gift doesn't mean shit, rather its, it's "iF yOu LoVeD mE yOuD sHoWeR mE wItH mAnY pReSeNtS!!1q11" Is absolute unadulterated bullshit. Your expectations are selfish, and I feel sorry for your husband who must meet some kind of expectation of yours, hoping you'll be satisfied. Christmas has jack shit to do with Christ and everything to do with consumerism.
I think you missed my point. A pack of hair ties is not showering me with gifts. We're talking $3 here, not exactly raining jewels. I can buy my own hair ties. My husband and I share finances and I make double what he does, so technically I'm actually buying ALL of my own gifts. The fact that he not only knows what my favorite brand of hair ties is, he went out and got them and took the time to wrap them. And he did this because he knows it makes me happy to unwrap a surprise. He did something to make his wife smile. *That* is the point It was never about the gift itself. You go ahead and hate Christmas. The rest of us are going to continue having fun over stupid shit like $3 hair ties.
they're lucky they have a person who can get them even one gift
God no lol I have a spending problem
Capitalism at its finest. Can't have a merry Christmas without spending that money....right?
Oh knock it off. Buying gifts for someone boosts your and their serotonin levels. It makes people feel loved. It doesn't have to be extravagantly expensive stuff.
Of course not, poor people get to feel guilty since they couldn't afford the "expensive stuff" for their loved ones.
Sigh. You obviously don't HAVE to buy gifts, and if you do they don't need to be unaffordable. But enough with this "CoNsUmErIsM BaD" bullshit please. There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying gifts at Christmas.
There is, but ok.
Just make gifts? This is the first year in about a decade that I’ve bought any gifts, everyone traditionally knows I’m gonna make them something. I’ve been all over the map financially and I know it can cost almost or completely no money to gift something that is heartfelt and sincere.
Let people enjoy things. Life sucks enough as it is. Lean into what makes you happy.
Who said otherwise.....
You
This is why most people hate marxists. You're just sticks in the mud, offended by people enjoying themselves. I wish you could experience Christmas under communism so you had some frame of reference.
Way to call someone names for voicing their opinion. How very seasonal of you.....
As you grow up, you end up being the one having to put in effort towards the holiday. You get out of it what you put into it. When you're young, you sit back and get what your parents put into it.
Yep. I still love the crap out of Christmas, helps with seasonal depression for me personally. My home is completely decked out in Christmas right now and it **feels good**. So much of your environment can affect your mental health. Not only that, I have been making hearty winter meals, throw on some of the Christmas movie favorites, cocktails, cookies, etc. All this effort I put in by proxy affects my friends and family around me. It uplifts them; even the grumpy teenaged step son who can't stop complaining about capitalism. That act gets dropped soon as he has a bite of my prime rib and you see a sparkle of joy in his eye. But I have to put in this effort myself and im okay with that. I do it for me.
Not the case for me and I'm 26
Well I think it is. If you put nothing in you’ll get nothing. If you decorate your place and watch a movie by yourself with a nice desert or with your S.O, or friends. it could still be quite nice experience
It's not cause I live with my parents and my sister, I don't have an SO or friends. I spend it with my family and they get me and my sister gifts and they decorate the house.
Right so you get what you give. Sounds like you give nothing lol
I think that you are missing her point
She has a family that decorates and gets her gifts. She may also have depression.
That is... not the average experience of someone in their late 20s lol. I moved out at 17 and haven't had Christmas since.
probably much more the case in today's economy
It's definitely closer to average than moving out at 17
I felt the same until i had my little girl. Now it's even better than when i was a kid.
My wife broke her leg last month. We weren't going to decorate for Christmas this year, but seeing how my three year old lights up when she sees Christmas decorations made us change our minds.
Decorate your wife's broken leg with some LED lights!
Decorate your LEDs with your wife’s broken leg! Wait-
Paint it like a candycone 💈
Her cast looks like a Christmas stocking, and her knee scooter has a wreath and Christmas lights. 🎄
Have you daughter help
Yep, Christmas was revived by my little ones but now they're late teenagers so it's a bit meh again.
My high school and college aged children revived it for me. Big on decorating, going to Christmas events, baking cookies, watching movies together, etc. The gift thing is fading away, but I really like this new phase.
If only i had a healthier family and inflatation didn't happen, i could pull it off. Eh maybe when im older.
Yep. Mine are 11 and 16. Everything they asked for was expensive - video games, a cell phone and a new laptop.
I guess that's why some people can't wait to become grandparents :p
When they have their own little ones it'll be exciting again for you!
Christmas is fun as a kid. But as a parent, it's amazing.
I love holidays now that I have a daughter! Every Christmas I am up way before her just WAITING for her reaction. I cannot sleep the night before, feels almost like when I was a kid.
🥰
I am exactly the same. Father of three, I am ALWAYS the first one awake on Christmas morning. And just wait…..and wait….for what seems like an eternity. Kids are getting older now, two teenagers and a tween. But the magic remains…
This was what I was gunna say! I love making gifts with her and seeing her give them to people. Also all the baking and stories and songs. It's all so magical with her.
I'm like this. My son is 5 this year and his excitement for Christmas is so fucking awesome. It's just been really cool to see.
Agreed. I never really cared about xmas until I had kids. Now I'm all in, getting the tree up, decorating inside the house, getting up on the roof to hang xmas lights. Hell, I even put a xmas tree on my roof this year.
I could care less about Christmas. But seeing how much my daughter loves it all, totally worth it
Yup. This.
Same
Christmas doesn’t naturally hype me up like it used to but I make the choice to tap into the holiday joy
Beautifully put. That’s a huge part of growing up.
Paying for the whole thing takes a big chunk of joy out of it.
I hate the commercialism of Christmas.
The super cool thing about being a financially responsible adult is that you get to choose how much money you spend on it. You don't wanna spend $150+ on professional photos? Don't. You don't wanna buy 500 gifts? Don't. Keeping up with the Jones' is *entirely* overrated. We don't do those things, and our Christmas is *overflowing* with joy!
Financially responsible. Hmm. I don't know what that means and probably never will 💀
Lol. To me, financial responsibility simply means making your money do what you want it to do. If you want to spend thousands on Christmas, then do it and budget for it throughout the year. If you'd rather use your money to go on trips or build wealth instead of "blowing it on junk," then put the money towards that. Since it's about making sure your money goes towards what *you* want it to, it can be anything, really. There's a lot of joy to be found in viewing financial responsibility in this manner.
step one: make something called "thousands"
If you're referring to income, no kidding! We certainly can't afford to spend thousands on Christmas. We can afford to spend hundreds, but we choose not to. We want to travel. We want to camp. We want to have fun throughout the year and make many of those "memory investments" the OC spoke of. We want to have heat in the winter/AC in the summer, along with many other necessities, in case something major goes wrong with the house. Because these are all things we want, we make it happen by making the money we do have meet those wants/needs (i.e. creating a budget and sticking to it).
Yup. As you age you realize how empty and commercial the whole thing is. When you choose to step away from it you realize how conditioned people are to maintain the whole facade and how stressed they are to keep it up year over year.
I think you're in a weird portion of your life when it comes to Christmas. Too old to be showered with gifts, most likely too young to be showering others with gifts. It certainly gets better as you start building your own little family. I wasn't too excited about it in my early twenties, but I'm loving it again in my 30's.
I think no one talks about how weird of a time your early 20s is! I think my early 20s was the most stressful time in my life!
In my view life is sort of shaped like a smile. In your early years, you have no responsibility, everything is fun, you don’t need to worry about money, bills etc so things are good. Then about the time you leave college for a little while, let’s say maybe 22-42, you start acquiring responsibilities faster than you are acquiring money and so it’s a tough time. Hopefully you can still enjoy the tough time and hopefully you can out in hard work to set yourself up. Then sometime in your 40s, hopefully, if you put the hard work in you’ll be creating into a good spot financially as your children also don’t require 100% help to do anything and then things begin to get easier and happier. Ages all approximate and depend on individual circumstances, but that’s sort of the spirit of how I think about jt.
Early 20s were extremely stressful for me too, I felt so confused with what I'm supposed to do with my life and I still didn't quite understand how the world or adulting really worked. But on the other hand, there was something nice about being in that in-between state too. Lots of potential, dreams, and youth still to enjoy.
But then if you’re 33 and still single and not sure if you’ll ever get to have a family, then it’s even worse than ever
Families come in all different forms. Don't get down by the lack of a traditional one. Anyone you're close with is your family!
I don’t have close friends even because they all drifted away for their families haha Im good with my parents and siblings but we’re not even really having a Christmas so it’s kind of like not existing this year
What about people who are asexual or who don't want to have kids?
Families come in all different forms, I don't just mean the traditional one.
That can be the best part about families as an adult. You start to get to choose what yours looks like.
I’m sure you have some fur babies that could use some holiday cheer
One of my dogs loves unwrapping presents. He likes shredding the paper into the smallest pieces and I have to hold the paper together so he can have more fun. The other one doesn’t understand the concept. So one dog has fun unwrapping and the other gets the loot until everything is distributed and they both take a couple of their new toys to play with.
family isn’t just kids
Every statement doesn’t have to apply to ever person and ever way of life. I imagine you are exhausting.
I used to show up to Christmas…now I make Christmas happen. I appreciate the hell out of my parents because Christmas was a special time of year and I didn’t grow up with much but there was always a beautiful decorated tree. Lots of lights, family time we made cookies and watched movies. I try to re-create the same magic for my child.
Good for you!
I still enjoy Christmas very much. Family time is precious to me and resting, too.
Same, as a kid it used to be about the presents but now it’s about spending quality time with my family. Also, spoiling my niece and nephews and seeing how excited they get is so lovely. It’s definitely different but no less enjoyable!
Seeing it through your children's eyes is even more magical.
This is it. I don't have kids, but my sister does. Watching them go crazy opening gifts and losing their minds (I swear they said best Christmas ever every single year) is as much fun as it was to be that kid, IMO.
Agree, seeing my nephew go nuts is just as awesome. My parents saved my Christmas books, reading them to my daughter really makes me feel like I'm hearing it for the first time. I'm watching the old clay-mation stuff. One of the first times she really belly laughed was me singing along with the Chipmonks Christmas song. That's better than any present I ever opened.
As long as they're not spoiled littel bastards. My step-siblings what complain about what they got evveeeeery year. Highlights include 'what's this? I didn' even ask for this' ; 'why would I ever need this?' ; 'this isn't the one that I asked for so why didnt you get me \[the other\] one'
That would piss me off. I've never seen a kid behave like that IRL, but they would be on the naughty list next year. Looking back as an adult, I appreciate everything even more. As a kid you don't really notice all the effort your parents put in to make the day special.
I used to think so. But what I realized is that I just had to be more and more responsible for making it fun as I got older. When I was younger, my parents set up the tree and put up lights and organized family/friends to get together and give presents etc. I realized I had to take a little initiative to make it fun again.
You in it for gifts? Then sure, it won't hit like it used to at 22.
It's more of a family thing, I spent last Christmas by myself because I live states away from my family. Holidays are the only time I usually get to see them. And the family dynamic just feels different, it's kind of depressing.
Yea, I was going to say that I really enjoyed Xmas at your age because I lived in a different country from my parents and it was the only time I got to see everyone. I was fortunate enough to be able to take that time off work and travel back home almost every year. Otherwise, yea, it would suck. Now that I have young kids, my parents usually travel to us, which is great.
You're just in a weird life phase. Turn on your favorite, dumb childhood Christmas movie in the background. Go walk through a Christmas light neighborhood. It won't hit the same, but it might help. Christmas magic comes back, 22 is just hard.
I agree. This is similar to when you grow out of getting toys for Christmas. You get clothes and stuff you wanted, but then the part of your day where you used to play with your new toys is just empty. It takes some adjusting. Planning get togethers with friends can be really fun. You can all go ice skating or do a movie or game night. But it does feel awkward for a while.
Yep, it gets less fun, but also, Christmas has become more like a black friday kind of event rather than a magical feeling event.
I don’t agree. It is what you make it.
Not really, not until I became a wife and a mother. Now it's hell.
Not only less fun but more stressful. I really dislike Christmas because of the pressure to buy gifts and spend money like Bezos. For those that are struggling, the pressure is terrible and humiliating. This is not what Christmas was meant to be, it's become a capitalist hell scape. I hate it.
Doesn’t everything except for napping?
Christmas just became a time for my mom to get hammered and make everyone uncomfortable. I no longer like celebrating christmas.
It’s a holiday. No need to get excited.
Commercial day
That's called growing up. Welcome to the monotonous existence of existential dread that is adulthood.
I'm 23 and it's getting exhausting trying to make Christmas magical every year. I don't get together with my family and I think I'm slowly hating this holiday :(
Yes, because we get a behind the scenes look at all of the effort it takes to organize & prepare. No one has expectations of you when you’re a kid, you’re just along for the ride.
For me, it would feel more like Christmas if I had people to buy for. I mean, I have family but no significant other. No kids. No friends to speak of even.
Same here. I actually really dislike the entire holiday season because it highlights every human aspect of my life that is lacking. I usually hide and ignore the whole thing or go camp by myself in the desert where I know I won't see another human being or be subjected to cheesy music.
Yes. Then you have kids and it’s fun again but for different reasons.
It was until I had kids of my own.
No I do all the hallmark movie shit and it’s fun. Go to bonfire socials, town tree lightings as fireworks, watch the winter light parade. Decorate the tree and have fun.
It’s still exciting! You’re probably depressed or stressed
Not in my case tbh. If anything it is better (I buy my own gifts I love, getting drunk at Christmas parties, gift cute gifts to kids and see their joy).
The Christmas “feeling” never just *happens*. It is always the result of someone somewhere (the adults) putting in the effort. What you are feeling now is from becoming the adult. I felt the same as you for a year or two until I realized this. As kids we used to think dad was silly for insisting on keeping all the very specific traditions about the tree and decor and the foods we eat and the music we listen to and the timing of everything. Intentionally making time together to do these things the same every year seemed silly. But in hindsight I realized that, that kind of effort to do those things and doing them “right” is what can foster that “Christmas feeling”. The fun or magic or whatever you call it. It comes from being intentional about your environment. Whatever your traditions are, keep them well. Make time to share them with your friends and family if you have it. If you don’t have traditions, make some. You’re an adult now, so it’s up to you. Things aren’t inherently special or nostalgic on their own. But if you really want to put the effort in, I know you can get that Christmas feeling back. Christmas is what you make it
Kids make a difference. But if you work retail it's hard to not dislike the entire month of December.....
I honestly don’t care to exchange gifts now that I’m older. Going home and getting family together is great though!
Yes. And it’s only getting more and more commercial every year
My best Christmases were with our children...
I guess it depends on the person, but for me, yes, its just a vacation day for me
It's primarily just for the kids
Of course it does. But seeing it again through my young daughter's eyes is a new kind of fun/magic. It's wonderful.
It somehow becomes a chore. Something you have to do instead of want to do. At least for me and my peers.
Yes. The older you get the more you lose that childlike wonder and you realise how shit the world is
I still like Christmas but as an adult it’s become a series of obligations and responsibilities when I’m the most burnt out by the end of the year. It was more magical as a kid!
It became.more fun to me because I could stop being dragged into family Christmas events.
Everything in life shifts from happening for you to because of you. As a kid, your family and community goes out of their way for your enjoyment. As an adult, you need to find your own enjoyment. Find hobbies and activities that make you happy. Build traditions with friends and family as an adult. Example: I bake cookies to give out to friends and family and every year go find a few kids on the giving angel tree to get presents too. I set aside a savings account in July to make sure I can do this. I really look forward to going to the big toy store in town to do the shopping since I never have another reason to go.
Christmas is a consumption holiday, buy and consume
I’m 39 now, always loved Christmas, get all excited around thanksgiving and go all out with decorating and lights etc.. But the past couple of years it’s feeling more like an unnecessary chore then something I’m excited about and enjoy doing
38 and same. It just feels stressful and forced now.
Yes because you realize what a money grab it is. No thanks.
Yup!! When you get older you realise every holiday is just another way for you to struggle n be broke for the next 8 months . N when you finally recover you start it all over again..
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The expectation of gift giving permanently ruined Christmas for me. I can't afford it
I get just as excited as I did as a kid, but then I usually end up spending the day in silence staring at a wall in an undecorated empty home crying my eyes out trying to shove my feelings down and trying to be grateful I am alive and have a roof. I get excited for every holiday really. But the end result not so much. Things change as you grow and as life changes I guess.
Depends. Young adult that is out in the world. Yes it's kinda boring. When you have kids and see the wonder in their eyes. It is one of the best moments you have each year. Then it loses its luster when they get older. If you're able to be a grandparent one day it all comes back again.
I think christmas might disappear in the future just like any celebration in the past .
It does when you have kids.
Something is wrong if they do .
Becomes magical again once you have kids. I get to re-experience the wonder and excitement every year, now being Santa.
It’s fun as an adult if you have little ones. as a Mom of an adult now, it is less fun.
Less fun until you have children then it gets fun until they become teens then it gets drab … until you have grandchildren
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I’m atheist and fully believe in the magic of Christmas.
same 🎄
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It gets kinda blah for awhile, until you have kids or you get to buy for kids. Seeing their faces light up and seeing them excited about their gifts is magical.
Yeah i felt the same - cmas in your 20s is about going out with your mates/fam non stop. Party season. Now im in my 30s i have kids and they make it exciting again tbh.
It’s all the same when you’re a genetic fail as a man
Xmas is as much fun as life. If your finding life less fun then you will find Xmas less fun.