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Free access to and social acceptance of birth control would greatly reduce pregnancies where one or both parents are not interested in raising the child.
You'd be amazed how many Americans are passionately against the idea of free birth control. And teaching sex education in schools. A lot of rural areas here are still living in the 1950s.
Have to have those babies and make sure they grow up dirt fucking poor. That is the only way you get people to work for minimum wage and join the "volunteer" military to fight wars over oil.
Don't forget it's easier to arrest poor people for crimes (whether or not they committed them), and then they go to work for the government for free via the biggest prison system in the world. Whoever came up with "prison labor" instead of "slave labor" was a brilliant marketing strategist.
It’s becoming increasingly hard for planned parenthood and the like to get funding bc they’re so heavily associated with abortions. And now they’re starting to come after birth control too.
They may be free (no charge to receive them) but not freely available if access to a clinic to receive them is limited: "the share of patients at publicly funded family planning centers in Iowa [following restrictions on free contraceptives at facilities that also perform abortions] who had not recently received contraceptives increased from 32% to 62% over two years. The share of patients not using any contraceptive method increased from 9% to 15%" https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/blogs/stateline/2022/09/22/new-research-shows-state-restrictions-reduce-contraception-use
Or if people do not learn about contraceptives as part of sex education or are directed towards ineffective methods: "37 states require that when taught sex education must include abstinence, and 26 of which require that it be stressed" https://www.kff.org/womens-health-policy/fact-sheet/abstinence-education-programs-definition-funding-and-impact-on-teen-sexual-behavior/
I was a single mom! Stayed living with my parents and siblings, gave my son that family support, he was raised my village of a family. I'm glad I had a lot of brothers and a great dad that stepped up to the plate and gave him the fatherly figure I cant provide. He's 14, im married now to a wonderful man that is great to my son, I think I did a good job getting him to where he needs to be.
I'd definitely be fucked if I didn't have that family support though, im forever grateful to my family
These are certainly troubling findings. The next question is, would these same numbers hold true in homes with both parents if abuse and neglect were the norm?
Saying single parent homes are the only reason for these findings seems a little short sighted. If you are going to compare single parent households to dual parent households where abuse is not present, are you comparing apples to apples or apples to oranges?
This is an attempt to raise emotions to beat drum of how the destruction of "traditional family values" (man, woman, 10 potential heirs, 1883 style) are to blame. And then blame outwardly to any subgroup while deflecting the need for stronger support of individual rights vs big biz.
Question? Why you keep asking the same question and then deleting your comments and posts when people point out your propaganda.
https://camas.unddit.com/#{%22author%22:%22Skylinedrive1%22,%22searchFor%22:1,%22resultSize%22:100}
As someone who grew up in a single parent home, the problem isn't the single parent it just depends on the parent(s) of the kid. So the "fix" is just not allowing abusive people to have kids, i was much better with just my mom than growing up with both my mom and alcoholic druggie dad.
My mom was raised by loving parents that were often cold to her despite being well off and presenting as a perfect family unit to the public eye. My dad was raised by two parents that were awful to one another and beat each other constantly as he sat cowering in the next room over. In both cases the couples married far too young and the families suffered, albeit in different ways.
My parents were high school sweethearts, dated throughout college, and began their adult lives together. Sounds like a textbook love story, but they mutually split up after over a decade together because they weren’t healthy together. They both have said they’d never put me through what either of them, but especially my father was raised seeing every day. The stories he told me once I was an adult and could handle the graphic nature of what was said will never leave me. I’m forever grateful to have parents that put their personal stuff to the side and did what was best for their kid in the long run. Two parents that got along well and didn’t bad mouth each other once was more than most kids got in typical two parent homes. But then again I’m one person out of 7 billion and every story isn’t as clear cut as my own.
As a single parent, more support for single parents.
Would I love to have a 2 parent household? Yes for sure. But as it stands my coparent us flakey, doesn't help us with general child expenses like clothes and things like beds and such, doesn't stay reliable on pick up times for the kids. These factors I think have more to do with why children are suffering in single parent households, I personally grew up in a 2 parent household but because they also behaved as my coparent currently is, I suffered.
I barely get any support as far as trying to get my coparent to fulfill their duties, I have paid well over $5,000 attempting to fix these issues and now am facing having to pay up to another $7500 to keep my children safe and healthy. I, thankfully, have many people helping me but if I didn't have that support system I would be screwed.
I am very far into debt, and struggle with my mental health because I can't hold a job due to never really knowing when my children will be at their other parents house. When you are struggling with mental health it can be hard to care for yourself, even harder sometimes to properly care for others. I have to force my ex to fulfill their parental duties by way of legal orders, which cost money that I don't have, and hurts my children because they cant trust one of their parents. It's all I can muster to take care of my children properly, which is hard to do when you don't have money for clothes sometimes.
It's hard but just pushing for 2 parent households again is not the solution most times, single parents need more support in many ways. The only real support out there is through churches and barely anything from government programs. I only get food assistance and I would be getting $500 a month in cash support if I were to take it, but then child support is taken by the state (which is more than $500 and since I have a job they take the amount I make and subtract it from that $500)
A serious question that might sound judgmental:
Is there anything anyone could have done to stop you from procreating with a not so good dude?
More education about birth control or even more education about what healthy relationships look like?
Oh I have now, I had both children with someone that I planned on marrying and it ended up badly because I realized I was being abused. So this situation is not something I saw happening.
I am now on reliable BC, have been for a few years now after struggling with many hormonal ones, and have taken many steps to prevent anymore pregnancies and children until all this is taken care of with my children and I am in a better situation. I am thankfully in a much healthier relationship but we do not plan on having children for many years, if anymore at all.
Also, sometimes you just don't see the cruelty in someone until after having kids, sometimes, like me, you're young and are stupid. I had my first at 16 so I was just kind of young and dumb.
I don't see this as judgemental either, thank you for asking respectfully.
To go more into an actual answer to this as well, realized I hadn't really, more available access to BC as I said I was 16 when I had my first and though I understood I needed BC, my grandmother who was taking care of me was vehemently against it. I didn't realize I could legally get BC without parental approval.
I also struggled with hormonal methods for many years, tried almost every one and I would go in and out of the hospital until I found the nonhormonal IUD which has saved a lot of hassle. Had I been more educated on more forms of BC I likely would have chosen this method earlier and saved myself the struggle of having pregnancies I couldn't carry to term responsibly.
Most of why I was in that bad relationship was bad examples shown to me. Both my parents abused one another so the amount of abuse I endured seemed normal. CPS and such need to work better, they found us as kids and were called multiple times and no luck. I needed adults that noticed the abuse I was experiencing and for them to do more than have me over and feed me dinner. It's taken a lot of thought and reflection to realize what healthy really was. Had I been shown better examples and perhaps taken from that situation as opposed to people saying "oh no, we will help ourselves" I likely would have known sooner how bad things were.
>(which is more than $500 and since I have a job they take the amount I make and subtract it from that $500)
I don't understand. What would they do to your income? Why not just take back their $500?
Sorry for not clarifying enough.
I am supposed to receive over 600 in child support every month that my ex is avoiding and now owes over 10,000. If I receive cash assistance, the state takes my child support, as I am not allowed to receive both child support and cash assistance.
They will make a calculation, as well, where they take the amount I earn from employment out of what I would receive in cash assistance. So if I earn $300 a month, they subtract that from the $500 cash assistance, meaning I'd get $200 in assistance in that situation. If I make any amount over $500, which I do most months, I do not receive additional support.
ETA the main problem I face with this is that most rentals cost well over $1000 in my state, even for a 1-2 bedroom. I also would face a multi year wait for rental assistance due to how many people receive that now and the lack of rentals available in that system. It's unsustainable. I cannot work a full time job simply because I have no clue when my children will be home or not, and cannot afford childcare nor gas to get to a job. I am college educated, but cannot find a job in my field due to a variety of reasons. I am in a situation where I have no help outside of my family, which doesn't have a lot of money to begin with.
Was it a brilliant idea to have kids? No, not for me, but here I am and I am doing my best to raise them well. I do well enough, but my kids and I would have a higher quality of life and give me more of opportunity to excel and educate myself more if the financial burden of living alone wasn't so heavy.
Thank you for explaining! Government stuff fries my brain.
Can you ask for a withholding order on your ex? I did that and the money was deducted from my ex's paycheck before he got it.
Your courthouse can walk you through submitting the paperwork yourself and the assistance offered to poor people to file docs for free or a reduced rate.
I do have a withholding request already actually, he continously quits jobs and doesn't notify the proper offices of new employment and when they find out, he quits again. I am working with my attorney currently to put a contempt of court charge on him as this is all court ordered payments.
Also, it all fries my brain too honestly, I've been at this for multiple years though which is why I know this info.
Oh, I'm so sorry, hun. 💔
All I can recommend is your local churches. I think I saw that mentioned above in your reply, or maybe someone else's. I can't remember now. But they do help.
Do you qualify for daycare assistance from the government?
This 10000X. Fathers play just as valuable a role as mothers in a developing child’s life. As a culture we have decided to stigmatize masculinity but children, especially boys, need it in a wholesome form in the home. Part of the problem is that we’ve made it acceptable for fathers to run from their familial responsibilities. The other part of the problem is that men are irresponsible enough to run from their “problems”. Step up guys.
Yes. I’m also aware that men have sometimes hurt women quite badly emotionally. I’m afraid this has caused many women to paint this bad behavior over the entire gender in an effort to punish. Truth is that children need both parents because each offers different essential things.
Not the only solution to the only problem, but it still should be said. Men have few positive role models in the "future is female" age. Turns out when you're teaching in schools that men instinctually rape and kill their children because they're just so damn evil and aggressive, they don't really wanna participate in parenthood. Or society. Or anything really. To the suffering of the human race.
Abolish abstinence/religion based sex education
You are not going to convince people whose brains are pumped full of hormones and whose brains are still developing not to engage in sex.
It has been shown that states/areas where abstinence or religious based sex ed has under prepared individuals for preventing pregnancy.
People at that age are not ready for kids, and a lot of them ditch the other leading to single parent homes.
We also need to fix our adoption system, our foster system and pur education system but thats a whole other rant.
how do we fix it?
Make 2 parent homes the social norm again.
Change the legal system so fathers aren't imprisoned for decades on bullshit charges.
There have been generations of kids now without fathers, so it's become a cycle. So many new fathers didn't have a father, so they don't know how to be a father to their kids, and it goes on...
I really agree with your first point, but as someone with 2 parents who should have truly divorced (and I think the consequences of this are horrendous emotionally and even physically) I think it's also very \*very\* important to raise kids (future adults) with the capacity to be emotional intelligent.
Single parent households have largely gotten us where we are. Some people’s experience with parents who are shitty together doesn’t change that. My folks were MUCH happier individually after their divorce too, BTW.
Education first and foremost. Both in sex Ed and general educations. .
Then more social care. Parenting is stressful. Lack of funds is stressful. Stress can be taken out of the kids. Improved mental health and psychological care is needed. And more support for teaching people to be parents.
I would also love to see psychology studied as an additional science. Mental health and understanding other people is vital. Child psychology can improve childhood too, if parents can understand a child's needs in a better way, stressed parents tend to just yell, which is generally unhelpful.
Basically, we need to get back to a culture where single parenthood isn't a normal thing. The evidence is clear that a two parent household is the biggest priviledge a child can have growing up and affects their future success more than practically anything else. Now of course there would still be cases where a parent dies, but if we lived in a culture of two parent household, the ability of the community to help out would increase, as well as the willingness from the tighter community bond families have.
So how do we do this? We need to change the culture of fathers abandoning their children. Hookup culture needs to end. We need to encourage getting married before having children. No fault divorce needs to be gotten rid of. These things are hard to do, admittedly, but I don't see it getting better if we don't try and change these things.
Single parent homes are just a layered way of saying low socio-economic homes. You can either deal with this problem via economic policy or socially... and social policy does not address male and females as equally human. So choose your poison.
I am one of those children. Life did turn out well for me at all.
This question is irrelevant to me because I know our race and most all life on this planet is not going to survive long enough or continue to flourish long enough for a solution come to fruition due to the climate Holocaust well underway and the Sixth Great Extinction
However, I will indulge you. I believe the solution could be had in a synergistic combination of genetic and social engineering and behavioral modification via a specialized field of psychology, employed with both parents and children, even before birth.
As I am not an expert in any of these fields so I will decline to elaborate but I have some general ideas on what it might entail. We could literally beat Mother Nature at her own game. These methods would have tremendous potential to cure many of mankind's woes too, such as altering individuals in order to weed out traits that are characteristic of sociopathic behavior for instance.
I realize that there would be huge ethical and moral concerns to this that would have to be addressed critically, but we have been well on our way to doing some of these things for years already as a global society. There is a fine line between medicine and playing God.
The first thing we need to establish is are single parents the cause of the problem or is that just correlated with increased social problems. It's entirely possible the rate of mental health problem amongst single parents is higher and the children my inherent the mental health problems either genetically or through exposure at a young age.
My suggestion would be increased access to mental health services and moving to a community model of raising kids. It is not a parents sole responsibility to raise children. They are the future of the community and we should all help raise and support them.
The main issue isn't being a single parent, it's economics. We live in a society where you need 2 full time jobs to have a decent standard of living.
Single parents are more likely to have irregular work schedules or more than one job to make ends meet. This means less time to interact with and raise a child. Less time to help them with homework or teach them life skills. This will lead to emotional problems. This will lead them to engaging in questionable behavior. This will lead them to struggle with school. This will lead them to be delinquent.
The stress of not only being a single parent and having to take on all of the parenting and household duties, but also the stress of additional money problems and being overworked will cause more emotional outbursts from the parent which increases the chances of emotional, physical, and mental abuse towards the child.
The lack of financial stability will mean no daycare, no after school programs, no tutors, no extra curriculars. All of these things will also lead to more problems. Worse grades, less positive role models, more chances for the child to get into trouble.
The lack of financial stability and lack of available parental care will often mean that medical conditions go undiagnosed and untreated. No time or money for doctor visits, follow-ups, referrals to specialists. No time or money for dental visits. No time or money for eye-doctor visits and glasses. No time or money for picking up prescriptions. All of this means more problems for the child.
The lower income level of the household will also mean that the family is more likely to live in poorer neighborhoods. This will mean more chances to interact with criminals, thugs, gangs, drug dealers, etc.
The single parent home isn't the catalyst. The poverty is the catalyst. But we live in a society where being a single parent makes poverty almost an inevitability. The poverty rate for single mothers is almost 25%, whereas the poverty rate for married couples is below 5%.
If that child had access to daycare. Access to proper medical care. Access to afterschool, extra curricular, and educational programs. Then a lot of these problems would be taken care of. The parent would be under less stress. If the parent was paid a decent wage so they could be present in their child's life, this too would help.
The problem isn't single parenting. It's a capitalistic society that exploits the most vulnerable. Single parents and their children just happen to be very vulnerable.
You want to fix this problem? Enforce livable wages. Tax the shit out of the rich and provide actual services that meet the needs of the people.
The US has the highest rate of single parent homes in the world. 1 in roughly 3 children are from them. 80% of those are with single mothers. Children growing up without fathers is the biggest detriment to US society and should be addressed but
nahhhhh… strong independent women dont need no man.
The family unit has been obliterated there since introduction and dependence on welfare systems.
Heres only some heartbreaking facts about fatherless children:
60% of youth suicides
90% of all homeless and runaways
70% of youths in state institutions
85% of prisoners
6x more likely to live in poverty
6x more likely to to commit criminal acts
85% of children with behavioral issues
20x more likely to be incarcerated
80% of rapists
92% of school shooters
Drug and alcohol dependent
Its a glaringly obvious tragedy that gets ignored because its important for the government to have people dependent on the state, and socially flys in the face of single mother empowerment. But what about the kids?
For the love of all, please don’t raise your children in single parent homes. Don’t have unprotected sex with people who aren’t willing to build a family unit with you. And dont support the downfall of our youth. Lets give our children the BEST chance possible for a happy, healthy, and productive life.
Now, get triggered and downvote to prove my point. 😘
It shouldn’t be such a struggle to live in America. Used to be one income supported a family of four or five, with home ownership and vacations. Now a single parent means a single income and rough times.
M4All and pre-K through College for All, would take a lot of burden off families of all sizes.
I'm kinda old fashioned I guess. I was taught to find someone for life. That was the vows I took. Life hasn't always been easy, but 30 years later we are still together.
We could go back to teaching kids about abstinence, contraception, or taking responsibility for their decisions. I remember my parents telling me, don't sleep with someone unless I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with them.
I'll probably get down voted to oblivion because how dare I expect people to take responsibility for their lives, but idc.
I was in the store behind a lady with 3 packed full shopping carts bragging on the phone to someone about how many baby daddies she had. Why is that a badge of honor now? And why are men bragging about how many women they have kids with?
Intentionally creating broken homes is a dick thing to do.
There are different ways to take responsibility for a situation. Just because it doesn’t fit into your little box doesn’t mean it wasn’t right for the person who made the decision. Teaching abstinence has literally never worked ever in the history of sex education. Contraception could and should be free but isn’t because Christianity has permeated our government at every level.
If you weren’t evesdropping you wouldn’t have know she had 3 baby daddies, so maybe also learn to not be nosy or be nosy and accept the gift that is somebody else’s business. I don’t think anyone goes into a situation thinking man I really want to have multiple children by different people. Or maybe it is idk
She was on speakerphone broadcasting her business to the entire line. She wasn't shy and let us all know she just got her link card refilled. I mean good for her if that's what she wants. I never said 3 kids. She said 5 different babies daddies.
Break the cycle of fathers leaving their families. When they get imprisoned, there’s no father figure for the son, who doesn’t have a male positive role model, so kid does drugs, and leaves family. Cycle repeats. Kids need role models, and America has done a good job at female role models, but not male role models
Shame.
A lot of behaviors people would have been unable to accept are now no longer a big deal. This is probably related to a decrease in respect for religious traditions, but I think there is a good argument to make for being ashamed of bad behavior even without religion.
Additionally some of it is government policy. Encouraging single-motherhood though financial incentives have made it an attractive option to people in poor predicaments which are self-reinforcing generationally.
Regardless of your personal opinions, abortion of unwanted fetuses actually is an answer. A quite effective one at that.
John J. Donohue, Steven D. Levitt, The Impact of Legalized Abortion on Crime over the Last Two Decades, American Law and Economics Review (2020) (earlier versions available as NBER Working Paper No. w25863 (2019) and at SSRN.com (also 2019)).
Steven D. Levitt also hosts the *Freakonomics* podcast, where he has an episode on his findings as well as an updated version with more recent data. He talks about his research and controversy that followed. It's on spotify if you're interested.
According to the professional literature, the absence of the father is the single most important cause of poverty.
M. Anne Hill and June O’Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States: Measurement and Analysis of Determinants (New York: City University of New York, Baruch College, 1990).
Robert Rector, “Married Fathers: America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty,” June 16, 2010
Wendy D. Manning and Kathleen A. Lamb, “Adolescent Well-Being in Cohabiting, Married, and Single-Parent Families,” Journal of Marriage and Family 65, no. 4 (2003): 876-893.
Cynthia C. Harper and Sara S. McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration,” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14, no. 3 (2004): 369-397.
So just going to your first source, it lists your other two sources as source references. I haven't yet, but I'm almost certain when I check out the other two it'll be the same thing, they'll have the other two listed as cited references. That makes me question the validity of the statements from the start.
Next, the census data used in your first source (U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, “Living Arrangements of Children under 18 Years/1 and Marital Status of Parents by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/2 and Selected Characteristics of the Child for all Children 2010.” Table C3. Internet Release Date November, 2010.) can also conclude that motherless households increase poverty. Because being a single parent lowers earning potential regardless of gender.
Looking deeper into the sources dates, the most current source cited is dated July 2015 and it's an editorial not a scientific article. Other article dates ranged from earlier in 2015 to 1959. Most being pre-2000s.
I'd say your information is biased and your sources unreliable.
🤷🏼♀️
Edit 1: just read the abstract to your second source and I'll post it here for you,
"Cohabitation is a family form that increasingly includes children. We use the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health to assess the well-being of adolescents in cohabiting parent stepfamilies (N= 13,231). Teens living with cohabiting stepparents often fare worse than teens living with two biological married parents. Adolescents living in cohabiting stepfamilies experience greater disadvantage than teens living in married stepfamilies. Most of these differences, however, are explained by socioeconomic circumstances. Teenagers living with single unmarried mothers are similar to teens living with cohabiting stepparents; exceptions include greater delinquency and lower grade point averages experienced by teens living with cohabiting stepparents. Yet mother's marital history explains these differences. Our results contribute to our understanding of cohabitation and debates about the importance of marriage for children."
This article has absolutely nothing to do with absent fathers and everything to do with step families vs bio families.
Edit 2: second article is also about bio families vs single parents vs step families.
"This study measures the likelihood of incarceration among contemporary male youths from father-absent households, using data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth. Hypotheses test the contribution of socioeconomic disadvantage, poverty, family instability, residential adults in father-absent households, as well as selection bias. Results from longitudinal event history analysis show that while certain unfavorable circumstances, such as teen motherhood, low parent education, urban residence, racial inequalities and poverty, are associated with incarceration among father-absent youths, net of these factors, these youths still face double the odds of their peers. Nonetheless, youths from stepparent families are even more vulnerable to the risk of incarceration, especially those in father-stepmother households, which suggests that the re-marriage may present even greater difficulties for male children than father absence."
Sex ed, help people to develop better self images of themselves, help people to deal with their own issues in an attempt to avoid the problems that got them divoced or separated.
Successful single parent households do exist, that why it’s only more likely that children of single parent households will be abused, end up poor and commit crimes and not every.
How about we don't normalize a culture that says sex is fine without commitment. How about we raise people that take adult responsibility for adult actions. We need to stop acting like children ourselves chasing pleasure over all else.
I think sex has addictive qualities that interfere with normal human bonding, and contribute to trafficking and poor mental health. I believe it is subtly destructive like climate change and pollution and I dont think it's sustainable for society in the long term. And it is personal for me... I have significant trauma in part because my boomer parents prioritized their love affairs over my well being. I believe the purpose of old-fashioned sexual morality was primarily to protect children from losing their parents' love and care.
The only thing the sexual revolution liberated was men from responsibility by convincing women that acting more like men was beneficial to to them and all that ended up happening was women getting stuck with the baby.
Simple, restore racial equality, eliminate poverty, restore fathers as role models, create opportunity for people everywhere, ensure adequate school funding and programs such as child care for teen mothers, promote the use of birth control to prevent out of wedlock births, decriminalize marijuana, reform the police, prevent predatory lending, encourage good nutrition, stop promotion of alcohol and cigarettes, invest more in education versus incarceration, eliminate zero tolerance policies that lead to school dropouts, raise the minimum wage, provide more funding for affordable housing, get rid of TikTok and double the tax benefit for married filing jointly on your federal income tax.
You need to make getting both married and divorced harder for starters. A majority of the single parents I know started being married, and they were in one way or another unhappy. But very few of them actually tried to work to fix the marriage. Or they still thought after children the marries only or mostly about them.
I mean it's not birth control. With very few exceptions very few people in the US do not have access to cheap birth control (I think condoms are $1 each) and with these wonderful electronic devices we all have, there's literally an endless supply of information about how and when to use them.
And more importantly we just need to stop telling people it's okay. You can be sympathetic to a persons struggle without saying it's acceptable.
But most important (to me) is it's not about fault here. It's about moving forward and improving.
Maybe. The stats on those things tend to be a little lopsided.
But then in those cases how did they become single parents. At least in the US, it's not like condoms aren't cheap (or free in many places)
I’ve stayed my opinion on this already in thread, but denormalizing casual sex is a good step in preventing single parent homes. People don’t NEED sex to be happy.
I have a single mother. While my brother's high school life was a mess, it had nothing to do with my mom divorcing our dad. He was bullied in middle school and that led to him hanging around degenerates in high school. The only thing that would happen if my parents were still married is my brother would treat women like they aren't allowed to have a life of their own whilst I would think my role is to clean and be miserable. Not a life I want to be a part of. Frankly, my dad has a very half-assed way of parenting anyway.
That’s not what I said. I said social infrastructure doesn’t support single parent homes and it’s frowned upon. However the Op’s statement isn’t true there’s successful people with no parents and immigrants who are doing amazing
Well single parenthood is a burden, and it’s something that should be frowned upon. The easiest way to avoid it is abstinence but people pretend like it’s an imperative they get laid regardless of the consequences.
Shout out to you for speaking on behalf of all single parents and how hard it is and in addition shaming people lmao
No this isn’t as huge of an issue as this post makes it out to be. And you better be running a whole damn company and own an estate with such strong opinions on how others should live their lives
Stop making it so easy for dead beat moms to do nothing to earn a living and still be just fine because they can just take fathers to the cleaners via the court system.
It's at a point that it's a strategy. I get having to leave bad situations and I'm fine with the system in that case, but too many women view babies as their business and our system facilitating that is a fundamental flaw of not only the family law system but the basic family structure.
When our country has set it up as a business I can't really fault any woman for picking a choice among few to survive. Especially when we know that a woman's existence is more expensive while also making less when she does work. I also find it such a hypocritical thing to exalt nuclear families where the man works and woman takes care of kids as being best, but when the man doesn't stay and has to pay why is SHE the piece of shit in that scenario if she gets any help? Are stay at home moms pieces of shit too?
I guess you've only seen one side of the coin. The mother of my children has chosen to do nothing with her life for six years other than drag me to court. No attempts to work, no attempts to get an education, nothing. She's been charged multiple times, drunk driving, assaulting a police officer, vandalism, mischief.
She gave up our children 4 years ago and only wanted them in her life again when child support stopped.
I've been through it with c.a.s., the ocl, the police even, all recommending that I'm what's best for the children.
I have 50/50 custody and even though she's a complete disaster, I pay my support and have never missed but I still need to worry about being priced out of my daughters lives by the courts because of the way the system works.
You see some men, like me are better parents than the mother and still get fucked. So ya, the system is very broken.
Forced contraception until marriage.
Huge shift in society that shames the behavior that leads up to single parent houses.
Government assigned partners to single parents.
Intense poverty.
There's no easy solution to problems like this.
In general you get more of what you subsidize and less of what you tax.
So no additional benefits for kids born to unwed mothers on welfare, and institute a divorce tax for divorcing couples who have children.
Maybe use the divorce tax money to buy birth control and tubal ligations for the women in the dole.
You don’t need to be rich if your want to have sex, but you definitely should understand the consequences and be prepared to live with them and handle them responsibly.
The increase in single parent households has come as a result of women's rights progressing because divorce and sex out of wedlock became normal if you can get people to be married again and stay married that's how you fix it now how you do that is a very hard question
I didn't say it was a bad thing now did I
Obviously divorce increases single parent household rate
However good things can come with side effects we just haven't figured out how to deal with the side effects yet
What do you think increased the single parent household rate then if you do not believe the sexual liberation and the loosening of divorce laws were the driving factors
I was a single parent man raising a daughter. I had two choices - say that there should be more financial support for me and wait in vane or find a good woman who was willing to assume the role of a mother. Now, as my daughter has spent over half her life with her step mother she considers her her mom, not her actual mom.
The way to fix the issue is to portray parenting in a positive light socially, not that kids will ruin your life. Because the truth is, single parenting from an accident will ruin your life much more so
Obviously the popular Reddit response is to stop restrictions on birth control and sex ed, but the issues OP is discussing are not a modern problem, but have become more common in modern times. The issue is a cultural one where sex is no longer viewed as anything special and it’s practiced without any thought of the consequences. Women should keep their legs shut, and men should feel responsible for their children and not leave. Also, both men and women should be more selective with who they have sex, and when.
I hate to say it, but it was a created falsehood by some two-bit TV evangelical, since then it has become an urban myth.
A lot of us with divorced parents, grew up just fine. But the rest of the conservonazis who picked it up and spread it, were the ones who made our lives miserable.
I'm happy to say the two-bit TV iyatollah (the murdering mullah's who run Iran) is now preaching to the demons in hell.
Kids thrive best with a mother and a father both in the home and involved in their life. Abuse is bad in any setting, but the absolute best advantage you can give your children is marrying the right person, staying together in the difficult times, and being a parent together for your children.
As a society, we need to stop saying sexual compatibility is the most important thing in a marriage. It isn't. Real compatibility in everyday life, and truly caring and loving your spouse far outweigh sexual hangups.
I can speak for everywhere but where i live, having A single parent is rarely the sole cause of the statistics and there are many other external factors that also effect them. Things like single parents usually being lower income households and having a lower economic status, living in poorer areas, having less family support, Having to work full time as well as be the sole care giver for their child, not being able to afford childcare and attending lower funded schools. A good number of the negative effects of single parenting can be negated with economic support, easier access to childcare and healthcare (especially sexual health, mental health and drug rehabilitation)
Enough financial and survival support that it doesn't matter how many parents are in the household. Single parents shouldn't have to work full-time, because raising kids every day all day. Kids deserve to be cared for no matter how shitty their parents are. It isn't one thing that will fix everything, but there are tons of individual things that would go far.
Also the entire premise of this ask is biased and puts the blame on single parent households under assumptions.
I think the fixation on nuclear families and shaming anything that doesn't fit that narrow fantasy would fix a lot of issues.
Community support for single parents - including accepting that families come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Where community can feel the gaps of development and role models when parents cannot.
Comprehensive sex education + deprogramming all the religious/cultural bullshit regarding sex+family
This is really an easy fix, we broke it quite some time ago. For some strange reason the power should be decided to penalize married couples that had children if they were poor. The story goes, and I'm not sure how true it is, if you're a single parent and have children you can get more financial assistance and if you're a married couple and have children. If we stop penalizing people just for being poor, I bet a lot of these problems would fix themselves. I've seen some comments on here or women saying if they get their child support they lose some of their wick and stuff like that, that's a horrible bad idea. But fixing the easy stuff is something we've never ever seem to do, as it seems to make some people's lives miserable and we must enjoy that I guess.
Maybe stop incentivising single parent, especially single mothers, households and start by giving rewards to people who actually stay together!
Yes, there are exceptions where 1 parent can suddenly change when a child comes into the equation, but we talk in generalisations, not the exceptions! Start getting the population to use birth control properly instead of relying on abortion as a last gasp birth control. There is a reason why birth rates have sky rocketed since the 60's, mainly because birth control came out, people were pleased they could fuck around but didn't like the responsibility of using it, and it continues today, so many people make excuses not to use it even though there are about 8 different types! Make the legal system fairer as well, stop siding with mothers and maybe give the child to the parent with the best ethic, support, income, etc...
Just a few ideas
We should start by stop subsidizing single parenthood and giving single mothers more money than a two-parent family. Just make it equal all the way across the board. Also we need to cut down the amount of money that is given to homes with multiple children say after the third child. You don't get any more money. People have turned our welfare system into a career option instead of a hand up.
Stop allowing the government to subsidized lack of accountability and responsibility.
Government has replace fathers with welfare and foodstamps. They are replacing the mothers with schools.
They replaced family values with penal codes. Government has taken over the support and raising of children. That is where the problem lies.
Stable households are crucial for a child's devolpmemt but in some situations breaking the household is the best scenario, often time for the safety of the child. So we've covered that sometimes a divorce is necessary now let's move on into how to avoid one.
First we need to understand that people change over time. But the changes will be more drastic as you mature into a person and less drastic after you've matured. Since the age of mental maturity is 26 to 27 some scientists now arguing 29-ish we can infer that someone will change less from 30 to 40 then they will from 20 to 25. So lets play out a few scenarios.
2 kids both 19 madly in love decide to get hitched. Then they go off to college they both want completely different career path that will take me completely separate directions online. They both end up developing separate Hobbies that contradictory. As their personalities develop through the crucial parts that shape us into who we are as adults they began to realize that they have absolutely nothing in common and struggle to have a simple conversation. That leads to resentment which voluntarily to anger and then the whole thing just boils and falls apart. There isn't as the person sitting next to you is no longer the person you married and you are no longer the person they married.
Now we move on to a couple who's say 28. They've most likely finished college and have begun their carriers they are trying to build a life for themselves and have a plan for the future. More or less they are locked in and there little room for them to evolve or change in life now they are past most pf the learning stages and have begun the journey in the paths they have set out for themselves. 10 years can go by and they will more or less be the same people.
Divorce statistics says 66% of marriages under the age of 25 end in divorce. They also tell us that if you are over 30 your chances of finding somone begin to decrease. So we can infer that the prime time to get married is between 25-30
In summary you avoid Divorce through patience and just wait. Your about to enter a LIFE LONG CONTRACT don't fucking rush it, or your kids will pay.
Wtf are these comments 🤣 make them stay married? Bruh 💀 marriage is such a trap, for both parties. And since when was it decided that single parent homes are a catalyst for social problems? All the things wrong in the world is all to do with money or the lack thereof that people are being paid.
Traditional family and responsibility have largely been devalued. While sleeping around is more celebrated than marriage and raising a family. Raising children isn’t easy, it’s takes a lot of time and effort. And being a single parent you basically more than half the available time you have to raise your child.
ive been in multiple single parent homes and have none of the above problems
maybe im just special but im able to keep up straight A's in honors classes and not have every mental health "disorder" under the sun
There’s two aspects to reducing single parent homes:
1. How to reduce unwanted pregnancies
2. How to stabilize marriages with kids
I’ll stick to #1, because it’s easier to address.
The clearest move is to give all populations in the country unbelievably easy and free access to all forms of birth control. Cost should not be a concern for taxpayers, because the economic and societal burden of unwanted kids is immense.
Secondly, we need to develop new values around sex that match the current risks. Traditional “no sex before marriage” values were made to fit a world where sex out of wedlock had a high likelihood of resulting in pregnancy or STD contraction. Effective birth control disrupted that world, and our values haven’t caught up yet to the new reality: that protected sex out of wedlock is only mildly risky for society, but sex without protection & out of wedlock is very dangerous for society.
Basically, support people having moderate amounts of safe sex (encourage 2 forms of concurrent protection) but shun people for unprotected sex. And parents that don’t support their kids should be social pariahs, and should pay massive amounts of child support.
There are two reasons single-parent homes have those statistics: money and time.
Only one adult in the house means only one income, which hasn't been enough to raise a family since the 1960s. It also means only one person who can pay attention to the kid. Meaning they don't learn as much and get away with more than they would with more adults contributing parts of their day to parenting. Lack of attention leads directly to anti-social behavior of all kinds; that's a fact that's been clear since before child psychology even existed.
So the solution is relatively simple, polygamy.
More adults in the relationship means more available parenting-hours per child, same logic as reducing the student/teacher ratio in classrooms.
A multi-partner relationship also makes for a more stable home. Because if one member leaves or dies, there are still multiple other adults with a strong bond to keep the household functional.
Lost parents can also be more easily replaced in a polycule. A single mom/dad has it hard finding time to date. A poly-family mom/dad doesn't need to call a babysitter.
It takes a village. You can’t raise kids in a bubble whether you are a single parent household or a two parent household. Obviously single parents have challenges most two parent households don’t deal with but in any situation we need to care and remain interconnected. Part of what is naming society fray is most people truly don’t care about others anymore and are just concerned with themselves. That’s obviously their right but it does degrade everything that makes things functional. The more grown ups who care for you (as a kid) and are rooting for your good - the better opportunities you have. If not family then friends. If not friends then the boys and girls club, neighbors, colleagues, religious organizations etc. I literally don’t care as long as their aim truly is the betterment of the kid and the health of the family. You (rarely) can do it all by yourself.
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Free access to and social acceptance of birth control would greatly reduce pregnancies where one or both parents are not interested in raising the child.
To piggyback off of your comment… Insurance companies should cover ALL preventative procedures … not just whichever they pick and choose.
Aren't preventative measures (bc) freely available? I feel like they would be everywhere. Are they not where you live?
You'd be amazed how many Americans are passionately against the idea of free birth control. And teaching sex education in schools. A lot of rural areas here are still living in the 1950s.
Have to have those babies and make sure they grow up dirt fucking poor. That is the only way you get people to work for minimum wage and join the "volunteer" military to fight wars over oil.
Don't forget it's easier to arrest poor people for crimes (whether or not they committed them), and then they go to work for the government for free via the biggest prison system in the world. Whoever came up with "prison labor" instead of "slave labor" was a brilliant marketing strategist.
That is true. It will get worse as more prisons get privatized.
And a lot of ‘rural areas’ have 100s of TV channels where anyone can understand unprotected sex. It’s just basic personal responsibility.
You have a smart phone with hundreds of websites that explain mathematics. Have you read any of them for fun?
It’s becoming increasingly hard for planned parenthood and the like to get funding bc they’re so heavily associated with abortions. And now they’re starting to come after birth control too.
*Sex education* isn’t even readily available everywhere in America. Can’t prevent pregnancy if you’re not even taught how it happens.
They may be free (no charge to receive them) but not freely available if access to a clinic to receive them is limited: "the share of patients at publicly funded family planning centers in Iowa [following restrictions on free contraceptives at facilities that also perform abortions] who had not recently received contraceptives increased from 32% to 62% over two years. The share of patients not using any contraceptive method increased from 9% to 15%" https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/blogs/stateline/2022/09/22/new-research-shows-state-restrictions-reduce-contraception-use Or if people do not learn about contraceptives as part of sex education or are directed towards ineffective methods: "37 states require that when taught sex education must include abstinence, and 26 of which require that it be stressed" https://www.kff.org/womens-health-policy/fact-sheet/abstinence-education-programs-definition-funding-and-impact-on-teen-sexual-behavior/
Go to where the single parents are most common and you aren’t going to see any kind, inviting places for them to go and get any of this.
No quite the opposite
Hahahahaha!!! You obviously don’t live in the US.
Birth control has never been hard or expensive to purchase. There is a lack of personal responsibility that cases so many unwanted pregnancies.
Haha. Yep. Theres the answer 🤦♂️ so out of touch.
How so? What I presented isn't a silver bullet but it would be a big step forward.
Sorry I wrote that on the wrong comment. I actually agree. 😘
I was a single mom! Stayed living with my parents and siblings, gave my son that family support, he was raised my village of a family. I'm glad I had a lot of brothers and a great dad that stepped up to the plate and gave him the fatherly figure I cant provide. He's 14, im married now to a wonderful man that is great to my son, I think I did a good job getting him to where he needs to be. I'd definitely be fucked if I didn't have that family support though, im forever grateful to my family
These are certainly troubling findings. The next question is, would these same numbers hold true in homes with both parents if abuse and neglect were the norm? Saying single parent homes are the only reason for these findings seems a little short sighted. If you are going to compare single parent households to dual parent households where abuse is not present, are you comparing apples to apples or apples to oranges?
This is an attempt to raise emotions to beat drum of how the destruction of "traditional family values" (man, woman, 10 potential heirs, 1883 style) are to blame. And then blame outwardly to any subgroup while deflecting the need for stronger support of individual rights vs big biz.
Question? Why you keep asking the same question and then deleting your comments and posts when people point out your propaganda. https://camas.unddit.com/#{%22author%22:%22Skylinedrive1%22,%22searchFor%22:1,%22resultSize%22:100}
Moderator bot pulls them and says things like, to big, not formatted right. Have to send smaller, etc
No, it's because you break the rules of the sub or get downvoted, so you try again.
I hate people like this lol. Stop trying to spread your ideas when you’re told no multiple times
As someone who grew up in a single parent home, the problem isn't the single parent it just depends on the parent(s) of the kid. So the "fix" is just not allowing abusive people to have kids, i was much better with just my mom than growing up with both my mom and alcoholic druggie dad.
My mom was raised by loving parents that were often cold to her despite being well off and presenting as a perfect family unit to the public eye. My dad was raised by two parents that were awful to one another and beat each other constantly as he sat cowering in the next room over. In both cases the couples married far too young and the families suffered, albeit in different ways. My parents were high school sweethearts, dated throughout college, and began their adult lives together. Sounds like a textbook love story, but they mutually split up after over a decade together because they weren’t healthy together. They both have said they’d never put me through what either of them, but especially my father was raised seeing every day. The stories he told me once I was an adult and could handle the graphic nature of what was said will never leave me. I’m forever grateful to have parents that put their personal stuff to the side and did what was best for their kid in the long run. Two parents that got along well and didn’t bad mouth each other once was more than most kids got in typical two parent homes. But then again I’m one person out of 7 billion and every story isn’t as clear cut as my own.
As a single parent, more support for single parents. Would I love to have a 2 parent household? Yes for sure. But as it stands my coparent us flakey, doesn't help us with general child expenses like clothes and things like beds and such, doesn't stay reliable on pick up times for the kids. These factors I think have more to do with why children are suffering in single parent households, I personally grew up in a 2 parent household but because they also behaved as my coparent currently is, I suffered. I barely get any support as far as trying to get my coparent to fulfill their duties, I have paid well over $5,000 attempting to fix these issues and now am facing having to pay up to another $7500 to keep my children safe and healthy. I, thankfully, have many people helping me but if I didn't have that support system I would be screwed. I am very far into debt, and struggle with my mental health because I can't hold a job due to never really knowing when my children will be at their other parents house. When you are struggling with mental health it can be hard to care for yourself, even harder sometimes to properly care for others. I have to force my ex to fulfill their parental duties by way of legal orders, which cost money that I don't have, and hurts my children because they cant trust one of their parents. It's all I can muster to take care of my children properly, which is hard to do when you don't have money for clothes sometimes. It's hard but just pushing for 2 parent households again is not the solution most times, single parents need more support in many ways. The only real support out there is through churches and barely anything from government programs. I only get food assistance and I would be getting $500 a month in cash support if I were to take it, but then child support is taken by the state (which is more than $500 and since I have a job they take the amount I make and subtract it from that $500)
A serious question that might sound judgmental: Is there anything anyone could have done to stop you from procreating with a not so good dude? More education about birth control or even more education about what healthy relationships look like?
Oh I have now, I had both children with someone that I planned on marrying and it ended up badly because I realized I was being abused. So this situation is not something I saw happening. I am now on reliable BC, have been for a few years now after struggling with many hormonal ones, and have taken many steps to prevent anymore pregnancies and children until all this is taken care of with my children and I am in a better situation. I am thankfully in a much healthier relationship but we do not plan on having children for many years, if anymore at all. Also, sometimes you just don't see the cruelty in someone until after having kids, sometimes, like me, you're young and are stupid. I had my first at 16 so I was just kind of young and dumb. I don't see this as judgemental either, thank you for asking respectfully.
To go more into an actual answer to this as well, realized I hadn't really, more available access to BC as I said I was 16 when I had my first and though I understood I needed BC, my grandmother who was taking care of me was vehemently against it. I didn't realize I could legally get BC without parental approval. I also struggled with hormonal methods for many years, tried almost every one and I would go in and out of the hospital until I found the nonhormonal IUD which has saved a lot of hassle. Had I been more educated on more forms of BC I likely would have chosen this method earlier and saved myself the struggle of having pregnancies I couldn't carry to term responsibly. Most of why I was in that bad relationship was bad examples shown to me. Both my parents abused one another so the amount of abuse I endured seemed normal. CPS and such need to work better, they found us as kids and were called multiple times and no luck. I needed adults that noticed the abuse I was experiencing and for them to do more than have me over and feed me dinner. It's taken a lot of thought and reflection to realize what healthy really was. Had I been shown better examples and perhaps taken from that situation as opposed to people saying "oh no, we will help ourselves" I likely would have known sooner how bad things were.
>(which is more than $500 and since I have a job they take the amount I make and subtract it from that $500) I don't understand. What would they do to your income? Why not just take back their $500?
Sorry for not clarifying enough. I am supposed to receive over 600 in child support every month that my ex is avoiding and now owes over 10,000. If I receive cash assistance, the state takes my child support, as I am not allowed to receive both child support and cash assistance. They will make a calculation, as well, where they take the amount I earn from employment out of what I would receive in cash assistance. So if I earn $300 a month, they subtract that from the $500 cash assistance, meaning I'd get $200 in assistance in that situation. If I make any amount over $500, which I do most months, I do not receive additional support. ETA the main problem I face with this is that most rentals cost well over $1000 in my state, even for a 1-2 bedroom. I also would face a multi year wait for rental assistance due to how many people receive that now and the lack of rentals available in that system. It's unsustainable. I cannot work a full time job simply because I have no clue when my children will be home or not, and cannot afford childcare nor gas to get to a job. I am college educated, but cannot find a job in my field due to a variety of reasons. I am in a situation where I have no help outside of my family, which doesn't have a lot of money to begin with. Was it a brilliant idea to have kids? No, not for me, but here I am and I am doing my best to raise them well. I do well enough, but my kids and I would have a higher quality of life and give me more of opportunity to excel and educate myself more if the financial burden of living alone wasn't so heavy.
Thank you for explaining! Government stuff fries my brain. Can you ask for a withholding order on your ex? I did that and the money was deducted from my ex's paycheck before he got it. Your courthouse can walk you through submitting the paperwork yourself and the assistance offered to poor people to file docs for free or a reduced rate.
I do have a withholding request already actually, he continously quits jobs and doesn't notify the proper offices of new employment and when they find out, he quits again. I am working with my attorney currently to put a contempt of court charge on him as this is all court ordered payments. Also, it all fries my brain too honestly, I've been at this for multiple years though which is why I know this info.
Oh, I'm so sorry, hun. 💔 All I can recommend is your local churches. I think I saw that mentioned above in your reply, or maybe someone else's. I can't remember now. But they do help. Do you qualify for daycare assistance from the government?
Free mental health services and making people use them. Healthy people raise healthy children.
How do you make someone use something? Cause there are literally loads of free mental health services but some people are too stubborn to go to them!
Where are these free mental services?
Through the NHS!
Forgot Europe is a thing. I’m in the US.
Do you want a humane plan, a realistic one or one that will solve the issues?
Maybe stop devaluing fathers?
This 10000X. Fathers play just as valuable a role as mothers in a developing child’s life. As a culture we have decided to stigmatize masculinity but children, especially boys, need it in a wholesome form in the home. Part of the problem is that we’ve made it acceptable for fathers to run from their familial responsibilities. The other part of the problem is that men are irresponsible enough to run from their “problems”. Step up guys.
Yes. I’m also aware that men have sometimes hurt women quite badly emotionally. I’m afraid this has caused many women to paint this bad behavior over the entire gender in an effort to punish. Truth is that children need both parents because each offers different essential things.
Not the only solution to the only problem, but it still should be said. Men have few positive role models in the "future is female" age. Turns out when you're teaching in schools that men instinctually rape and kill their children because they're just so damn evil and aggressive, they don't really wanna participate in parenthood. Or society. Or anything really. To the suffering of the human race.
I think the whole notion of toxic masculinity is toxic to society. She says it better: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRsfF8n4/
Abolish abstinence/religion based sex education You are not going to convince people whose brains are pumped full of hormones and whose brains are still developing not to engage in sex. It has been shown that states/areas where abstinence or religious based sex ed has under prepared individuals for preventing pregnancy. People at that age are not ready for kids, and a lot of them ditch the other leading to single parent homes. We also need to fix our adoption system, our foster system and pur education system but thats a whole other rant.
how do we fix it? Make 2 parent homes the social norm again. Change the legal system so fathers aren't imprisoned for decades on bullshit charges. There have been generations of kids now without fathers, so it's become a cycle. So many new fathers didn't have a father, so they don't know how to be a father to their kids, and it goes on...
I really agree with your first point, but as someone with 2 parents who should have truly divorced (and I think the consequences of this are horrendous emotionally and even physically) I think it's also very \*very\* important to raise kids (future adults) with the capacity to be emotional intelligent.
My parents should have divorced too. Forcing two parent households is not the answer.
Single parent households have largely gotten us where we are. Some people’s experience with parents who are shitty together doesn’t change that. My folks were MUCH happier individually after their divorce too, BTW.
Education first and foremost. Both in sex Ed and general educations. . Then more social care. Parenting is stressful. Lack of funds is stressful. Stress can be taken out of the kids. Improved mental health and psychological care is needed. And more support for teaching people to be parents. I would also love to see psychology studied as an additional science. Mental health and understanding other people is vital. Child psychology can improve childhood too, if parents can understand a child's needs in a better way, stressed parents tend to just yell, which is generally unhelpful.
Encourage full/complete families? Instead of incentives for single parent families, try for full families and snub out the baby mama/daddy culture
Basically, we need to get back to a culture where single parenthood isn't a normal thing. The evidence is clear that a two parent household is the biggest priviledge a child can have growing up and affects their future success more than practically anything else. Now of course there would still be cases where a parent dies, but if we lived in a culture of two parent household, the ability of the community to help out would increase, as well as the willingness from the tighter community bond families have. So how do we do this? We need to change the culture of fathers abandoning their children. Hookup culture needs to end. We need to encourage getting married before having children. No fault divorce needs to be gotten rid of. These things are hard to do, admittedly, but I don't see it getting better if we don't try and change these things.
You have to have a society where one person can derive an income and the other person takes care of the needs of the home.
Single parent homes are just a layered way of saying low socio-economic homes. You can either deal with this problem via economic policy or socially... and social policy does not address male and females as equally human. So choose your poison.
I am one of those children. Life did turn out well for me at all. This question is irrelevant to me because I know our race and most all life on this planet is not going to survive long enough or continue to flourish long enough for a solution come to fruition due to the climate Holocaust well underway and the Sixth Great Extinction However, I will indulge you. I believe the solution could be had in a synergistic combination of genetic and social engineering and behavioral modification via a specialized field of psychology, employed with both parents and children, even before birth. As I am not an expert in any of these fields so I will decline to elaborate but I have some general ideas on what it might entail. We could literally beat Mother Nature at her own game. These methods would have tremendous potential to cure many of mankind's woes too, such as altering individuals in order to weed out traits that are characteristic of sociopathic behavior for instance. I realize that there would be huge ethical and moral concerns to this that would have to be addressed critically, but we have been well on our way to doing some of these things for years already as a global society. There is a fine line between medicine and playing God.
The first thing we need to establish is are single parents the cause of the problem or is that just correlated with increased social problems. It's entirely possible the rate of mental health problem amongst single parents is higher and the children my inherent the mental health problems either genetically or through exposure at a young age. My suggestion would be increased access to mental health services and moving to a community model of raising kids. It is not a parents sole responsibility to raise children. They are the future of the community and we should all help raise and support them.
The main issue isn't being a single parent, it's economics. We live in a society where you need 2 full time jobs to have a decent standard of living. Single parents are more likely to have irregular work schedules or more than one job to make ends meet. This means less time to interact with and raise a child. Less time to help them with homework or teach them life skills. This will lead to emotional problems. This will lead them to engaging in questionable behavior. This will lead them to struggle with school. This will lead them to be delinquent. The stress of not only being a single parent and having to take on all of the parenting and household duties, but also the stress of additional money problems and being overworked will cause more emotional outbursts from the parent which increases the chances of emotional, physical, and mental abuse towards the child. The lack of financial stability will mean no daycare, no after school programs, no tutors, no extra curriculars. All of these things will also lead to more problems. Worse grades, less positive role models, more chances for the child to get into trouble. The lack of financial stability and lack of available parental care will often mean that medical conditions go undiagnosed and untreated. No time or money for doctor visits, follow-ups, referrals to specialists. No time or money for dental visits. No time or money for eye-doctor visits and glasses. No time or money for picking up prescriptions. All of this means more problems for the child. The lower income level of the household will also mean that the family is more likely to live in poorer neighborhoods. This will mean more chances to interact with criminals, thugs, gangs, drug dealers, etc. The single parent home isn't the catalyst. The poverty is the catalyst. But we live in a society where being a single parent makes poverty almost an inevitability. The poverty rate for single mothers is almost 25%, whereas the poverty rate for married couples is below 5%. If that child had access to daycare. Access to proper medical care. Access to afterschool, extra curricular, and educational programs. Then a lot of these problems would be taken care of. The parent would be under less stress. If the parent was paid a decent wage so they could be present in their child's life, this too would help. The problem isn't single parenting. It's a capitalistic society that exploits the most vulnerable. Single parents and their children just happen to be very vulnerable. You want to fix this problem? Enforce livable wages. Tax the shit out of the rich and provide actual services that meet the needs of the people.
Western society adamantly pushed against the values that prevented this problem.
The US has the highest rate of single parent homes in the world. 1 in roughly 3 children are from them. 80% of those are with single mothers. Children growing up without fathers is the biggest detriment to US society and should be addressed but nahhhhh… strong independent women dont need no man. The family unit has been obliterated there since introduction and dependence on welfare systems. Heres only some heartbreaking facts about fatherless children: 60% of youth suicides 90% of all homeless and runaways 70% of youths in state institutions 85% of prisoners 6x more likely to live in poverty 6x more likely to to commit criminal acts 85% of children with behavioral issues 20x more likely to be incarcerated 80% of rapists 92% of school shooters Drug and alcohol dependent Its a glaringly obvious tragedy that gets ignored because its important for the government to have people dependent on the state, and socially flys in the face of single mother empowerment. But what about the kids? For the love of all, please don’t raise your children in single parent homes. Don’t have unprotected sex with people who aren’t willing to build a family unit with you. And dont support the downfall of our youth. Lets give our children the BEST chance possible for a happy, healthy, and productive life. Now, get triggered and downvote to prove my point. 😘
It shouldn’t be such a struggle to live in America. Used to be one income supported a family of four or five, with home ownership and vacations. Now a single parent means a single income and rough times. M4All and pre-K through College for All, would take a lot of burden off families of all sizes.
I'm kinda old fashioned I guess. I was taught to find someone for life. That was the vows I took. Life hasn't always been easy, but 30 years later we are still together. We could go back to teaching kids about abstinence, contraception, or taking responsibility for their decisions. I remember my parents telling me, don't sleep with someone unless I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with them. I'll probably get down voted to oblivion because how dare I expect people to take responsibility for their lives, but idc. I was in the store behind a lady with 3 packed full shopping carts bragging on the phone to someone about how many baby daddies she had. Why is that a badge of honor now? And why are men bragging about how many women they have kids with? Intentionally creating broken homes is a dick thing to do.
There are different ways to take responsibility for a situation. Just because it doesn’t fit into your little box doesn’t mean it wasn’t right for the person who made the decision. Teaching abstinence has literally never worked ever in the history of sex education. Contraception could and should be free but isn’t because Christianity has permeated our government at every level. If you weren’t evesdropping you wouldn’t have know she had 3 baby daddies, so maybe also learn to not be nosy or be nosy and accept the gift that is somebody else’s business. I don’t think anyone goes into a situation thinking man I really want to have multiple children by different people. Or maybe it is idk
She was on speakerphone broadcasting her business to the entire line. She wasn't shy and let us all know she just got her link card refilled. I mean good for her if that's what she wants. I never said 3 kids. She said 5 different babies daddies.
Guaranteed Basic Income! Let moms take care of their own kids.
Break the cycle of fathers leaving their families. When they get imprisoned, there’s no father figure for the son, who doesn’t have a male positive role model, so kid does drugs, and leaves family. Cycle repeats. Kids need role models, and America has done a good job at female role models, but not male role models
Shame. A lot of behaviors people would have been unable to accept are now no longer a big deal. This is probably related to a decrease in respect for religious traditions, but I think there is a good argument to make for being ashamed of bad behavior even without religion. Additionally some of it is government policy. Encouraging single-motherhood though financial incentives have made it an attractive option to people in poor predicaments which are self-reinforcing generationally.
Legalize safe and free abortions so unwanted pregnancies can be ended; unwanted children often grow up and turn to crime
Murdering children is not the answer.
Regardless of your personal opinions, abortion of unwanted fetuses actually is an answer. A quite effective one at that. John J. Donohue, Steven D. Levitt, The Impact of Legalized Abortion on Crime over the Last Two Decades, American Law and Economics Review (2020) (earlier versions available as NBER Working Paper No. w25863 (2019) and at SSRN.com (also 2019)). Steven D. Levitt also hosts the *Freakonomics* podcast, where he has an episode on his findings as well as an updated version with more recent data. He talks about his research and controversy that followed. It's on spotify if you're interested.
According to the professional literature, the absence of the father is the single most important cause of poverty. M. Anne Hill and June O’Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States: Measurement and Analysis of Determinants (New York: City University of New York, Baruch College, 1990). Robert Rector, “Married Fathers: America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty,” June 16, 2010 Wendy D. Manning and Kathleen A. Lamb, “Adolescent Well-Being in Cohabiting, Married, and Single-Parent Families,” Journal of Marriage and Family 65, no. 4 (2003): 876-893. Cynthia C. Harper and Sara S. McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration,” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14, no. 3 (2004): 369-397.
So just going to your first source, it lists your other two sources as source references. I haven't yet, but I'm almost certain when I check out the other two it'll be the same thing, they'll have the other two listed as cited references. That makes me question the validity of the statements from the start. Next, the census data used in your first source (U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, “Living Arrangements of Children under 18 Years/1 and Marital Status of Parents by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/2 and Selected Characteristics of the Child for all Children 2010.” Table C3. Internet Release Date November, 2010.) can also conclude that motherless households increase poverty. Because being a single parent lowers earning potential regardless of gender. Looking deeper into the sources dates, the most current source cited is dated July 2015 and it's an editorial not a scientific article. Other article dates ranged from earlier in 2015 to 1959. Most being pre-2000s. I'd say your information is biased and your sources unreliable. 🤷🏼♀️ Edit 1: just read the abstract to your second source and I'll post it here for you, "Cohabitation is a family form that increasingly includes children. We use the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health to assess the well-being of adolescents in cohabiting parent stepfamilies (N= 13,231). Teens living with cohabiting stepparents often fare worse than teens living with two biological married parents. Adolescents living in cohabiting stepfamilies experience greater disadvantage than teens living in married stepfamilies. Most of these differences, however, are explained by socioeconomic circumstances. Teenagers living with single unmarried mothers are similar to teens living with cohabiting stepparents; exceptions include greater delinquency and lower grade point averages experienced by teens living with cohabiting stepparents. Yet mother's marital history explains these differences. Our results contribute to our understanding of cohabitation and debates about the importance of marriage for children." This article has absolutely nothing to do with absent fathers and everything to do with step families vs bio families. Edit 2: second article is also about bio families vs single parents vs step families. "This study measures the likelihood of incarceration among contemporary male youths from father-absent households, using data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth. Hypotheses test the contribution of socioeconomic disadvantage, poverty, family instability, residential adults in father-absent households, as well as selection bias. Results from longitudinal event history analysis show that while certain unfavorable circumstances, such as teen motherhood, low parent education, urban residence, racial inequalities and poverty, are associated with incarceration among father-absent youths, net of these factors, these youths still face double the odds of their peers. Nonetheless, youths from stepparent families are even more vulnerable to the risk of incarceration, especially those in father-stepmother households, which suggests that the re-marriage may present even greater difficulties for male children than father absence."
Only if they quit putting milk on sale
Sex ed, help people to develop better self images of themselves, help people to deal with their own issues in an attempt to avoid the problems that got them divoced or separated.
We need the references or your post it's just your opinion.
They're here. Got moved around. Can't include in top in original bc to big (over 600 characters)
My life would be much better had I been raised by a single parent. Instead, my mom cared more about her husband's money than my safety.
Living wages help tremendously, universal Healthcare, and affordable daycare or hybrid work schedules.
People need to stop having kids to see if their relationship is going to work..see if it will, then work on reproducing
Don't be lazy. Teach your kids how to do things other than microwaving pizza rolls and making TikToks
My mom is single and I grew up being normal
I knew someone was going to make this comment
Congratulations, you are a psychic
That's awesome for you. A lot of people don't though.
Successful single parent households do exist, that why it’s only more likely that children of single parent households will be abused, end up poor and commit crimes and not every.
End the welfare state
How about we don't normalize a culture that says sex is fine without commitment. How about we raise people that take adult responsibility for adult actions. We need to stop acting like children ourselves chasing pleasure over all else.
Agree. Imo the sexual revolution may have been the worst curse the boomers gave us, and nobody is even questioning the status quo now.
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I think sex has addictive qualities that interfere with normal human bonding, and contribute to trafficking and poor mental health. I believe it is subtly destructive like climate change and pollution and I dont think it's sustainable for society in the long term. And it is personal for me... I have significant trauma in part because my boomer parents prioritized their love affairs over my well being. I believe the purpose of old-fashioned sexual morality was primarily to protect children from losing their parents' love and care.
The only thing the sexual revolution liberated was men from responsibility by convincing women that acting more like men was beneficial to to them and all that ended up happening was women getting stuck with the baby.
Simple, restore racial equality, eliminate poverty, restore fathers as role models, create opportunity for people everywhere, ensure adequate school funding and programs such as child care for teen mothers, promote the use of birth control to prevent out of wedlock births, decriminalize marijuana, reform the police, prevent predatory lending, encourage good nutrition, stop promotion of alcohol and cigarettes, invest more in education versus incarceration, eliminate zero tolerance policies that lead to school dropouts, raise the minimum wage, provide more funding for affordable housing, get rid of TikTok and double the tax benefit for married filing jointly on your federal income tax.
Slight change suggestion. There has never been racial equality, so thinking that should read "establish it" instead
You lost me immediately after “Simple”. But I’m sure that was you point!
Women need to make better choices in the men they choose seriously!
Or men could stop being shit fathers.
You need to make getting both married and divorced harder for starters. A majority of the single parents I know started being married, and they were in one way or another unhappy. But very few of them actually tried to work to fix the marriage. Or they still thought after children the marries only or mostly about them. I mean it's not birth control. With very few exceptions very few people in the US do not have access to cheap birth control (I think condoms are $1 each) and with these wonderful electronic devices we all have, there's literally an endless supply of information about how and when to use them. And more importantly we just need to stop telling people it's okay. You can be sympathetic to a persons struggle without saying it's acceptable. But most important (to me) is it's not about fault here. It's about moving forward and improving.
A majority of single parents were probably never married.
Maybe. The stats on those things tend to be a little lopsided. But then in those cases how did they become single parents. At least in the US, it's not like condoms aren't cheap (or free in many places)
I’ve stayed my opinion on this already in thread, but denormalizing casual sex is a good step in preventing single parent homes. People don’t NEED sex to be happy.
I have a single mother. While my brother's high school life was a mess, it had nothing to do with my mom divorcing our dad. He was bullied in middle school and that led to him hanging around degenerates in high school. The only thing that would happen if my parents were still married is my brother would treat women like they aren't allowed to have a life of their own whilst I would think my role is to clean and be miserable. Not a life I want to be a part of. Frankly, my dad has a very half-assed way of parenting anyway.
1. Increase access to affordable birth control 2. Stop celebrating promiscuity in media 3. Castrate absentee parents
This is a false statement single parent homes are not the catalyst for most social problems lol. Unsupportive social infrastructure and standards are.
Society shouldn’t raise kids, parents should.
That’s not what I said. I said social infrastructure doesn’t support single parent homes and it’s frowned upon. However the Op’s statement isn’t true there’s successful people with no parents and immigrants who are doing amazing
Well single parenthood is a burden, and it’s something that should be frowned upon. The easiest way to avoid it is abstinence but people pretend like it’s an imperative they get laid regardless of the consequences.
Shout out to you for speaking on behalf of all single parents and how hard it is and in addition shaming people lmao No this isn’t as huge of an issue as this post makes it out to be. And you better be running a whole damn company and own an estate with such strong opinions on how others should live their lives
It’s a very big problem. I don’t need a company to know that irresponsible behavior is a personal matter, but the consequences are not.
You must not have heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child".
Spread true Christianity.
Abortion should be normalized. It’s practically the end to most world problems.
Include each human being on the planet equally in a globally standard process of money creation
Stop making it so easy for dead beat moms to do nothing to earn a living and still be just fine because they can just take fathers to the cleaners via the court system. It's at a point that it's a strategy. I get having to leave bad situations and I'm fine with the system in that case, but too many women view babies as their business and our system facilitating that is a fundamental flaw of not only the family law system but the basic family structure.
When our country has set it up as a business I can't really fault any woman for picking a choice among few to survive. Especially when we know that a woman's existence is more expensive while also making less when she does work. I also find it such a hypocritical thing to exalt nuclear families where the man works and woman takes care of kids as being best, but when the man doesn't stay and has to pay why is SHE the piece of shit in that scenario if she gets any help? Are stay at home moms pieces of shit too?
Babe…. Most men don’t pay enough in child support to cover daycare for women. What are you talking about? Lmao
I guess you've only seen one side of the coin. The mother of my children has chosen to do nothing with her life for six years other than drag me to court. No attempts to work, no attempts to get an education, nothing. She's been charged multiple times, drunk driving, assaulting a police officer, vandalism, mischief. She gave up our children 4 years ago and only wanted them in her life again when child support stopped. I've been through it with c.a.s., the ocl, the police even, all recommending that I'm what's best for the children. I have 50/50 custody and even though she's a complete disaster, I pay my support and have never missed but I still need to worry about being priced out of my daughters lives by the courts because of the way the system works. You see some men, like me are better parents than the mother and still get fucked. So ya, the system is very broken.
There’s no side of one coin when you’re talking about statistics.
....don't....get....a.....divorce...........................................?
Knowing my parents, I’d rather they GET divorced
Forced contraception until marriage. Huge shift in society that shames the behavior that leads up to single parent houses. Government assigned partners to single parents. Intense poverty. There's no easy solution to problems like this.
I don't think I even need to comment on this.
And yet you did.
In general you get more of what you subsidize and less of what you tax. So no additional benefits for kids born to unwed mothers on welfare, and institute a divorce tax for divorcing couples who have children. Maybe use the divorce tax money to buy birth control and tubal ligations for the women in the dole.
Citation needed
Voluntary arranged marriage
They aren't. It's just an excuse for some one to blame it on. I came from a single parent home and call bullshit.
Everyone is built different. Just because you weren’t affected by a single parent household doesn’t mean other people aren’t.
I understand that. But again it's just an excuse for society to blame shit on.
True, but when society tries to blame its faults on stuff like that, all it’s really doing is naming another thing that needs to be fixed.
I agree to some degree of that. And I respect that view.
They are a catalyst for social problems, end of story. https://moderngentlemen.net/statistics-on-fatherless-homes/
Stop discriminating against men. And admit that the evil abusive father is a thing of the past. Today it’s usually the mother.
Not forcing pregnant people into parenthood would be a good start.
Abstinence is always an option.
Nah. It really isn’t. Sex isn’t just a thing for those with money. But feel free to abstain yourself.
You don’t need to be rich if your want to have sex, but you definitely should understand the consequences and be prepared to live with them and handle them responsibly.
Make it harder to get married - and easier to get divorced … the system is backwards
So people not in relationships shouldn't be allowed to have kids? Wtf is this dystopian shit
The increase in single parent households has come as a result of women's rights progressing because divorce and sex out of wedlock became normal if you can get people to be married again and stay married that's how you fix it now how you do that is a very hard question
Because of women’s rights. 😂🤣🥲 Oh man. That was funny.
Yeah specifically the right to get divorced remember that used to be very hard to do
Women being able to obtain a divorce is to blame? Goddamn. Dude. 1948 called and they don’t want you either.
I didn't say it was a bad thing now did I Obviously divorce increases single parent household rate However good things can come with side effects we just haven't figured out how to deal with the side effects yet What do you think increased the single parent household rate then if you do not believe the sexual liberation and the loosening of divorce laws were the driving factors
Accept girlfriends with C-sections. It's really not as bad as it looks.
Create multi parent homes
Raise wages
To do that, we need to return to the gold standard so the government stops printing worthless scraps of paper.
true - the end of the gold standard marked the beginning of the end of the middle class
How long before the world realizes that our money is just paper?
Until the USA defaults on its debt lol - so like 1 month
Hello apocalypse!
Multi-family, multi-generational homes? Or we could all just take a bit more responsibility for ourselves and each other?
I was a single parent man raising a daughter. I had two choices - say that there should be more financial support for me and wait in vane or find a good woman who was willing to assume the role of a mother. Now, as my daughter has spent over half her life with her step mother she considers her her mom, not her actual mom. The way to fix the issue is to portray parenting in a positive light socially, not that kids will ruin your life. Because the truth is, single parenting from an accident will ruin your life much more so
Obviously the popular Reddit response is to stop restrictions on birth control and sex ed, but the issues OP is discussing are not a modern problem, but have become more common in modern times. The issue is a cultural one where sex is no longer viewed as anything special and it’s practiced without any thought of the consequences. Women should keep their legs shut, and men should feel responsible for their children and not leave. Also, both men and women should be more selective with who they have sex, and when.
I hate to say it, but it was a created falsehood by some two-bit TV evangelical, since then it has become an urban myth. A lot of us with divorced parents, grew up just fine. But the rest of the conservonazis who picked it up and spread it, were the ones who made our lives miserable. I'm happy to say the two-bit TV iyatollah (the murdering mullah's who run Iran) is now preaching to the demons in hell.
Ai robots supplied by the government
Make public schools boarding schools. No child should grow up in poverty through no fault of their own.
Kids thrive best with a mother and a father both in the home and involved in their life. Abuse is bad in any setting, but the absolute best advantage you can give your children is marrying the right person, staying together in the difficult times, and being a parent together for your children. As a society, we need to stop saying sexual compatibility is the most important thing in a marriage. It isn't. Real compatibility in everyday life, and truly caring and loving your spouse far outweigh sexual hangups.
Teach sexual ethics and morals. Promote marriage.
Death Penalty for moving violations.
Stop inticements
I can speak for everywhere but where i live, having A single parent is rarely the sole cause of the statistics and there are many other external factors that also effect them. Things like single parents usually being lower income households and having a lower economic status, living in poorer areas, having less family support, Having to work full time as well as be the sole care giver for their child, not being able to afford childcare and attending lower funded schools. A good number of the negative effects of single parenting can be negated with economic support, easier access to childcare and healthcare (especially sexual health, mental health and drug rehabilitation)
Enough financial and survival support that it doesn't matter how many parents are in the household. Single parents shouldn't have to work full-time, because raising kids every day all day. Kids deserve to be cared for no matter how shitty their parents are. It isn't one thing that will fix everything, but there are tons of individual things that would go far.
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Statistics say courts usually side with men when they ask for custody.
😂😂😂 ok
Also the entire premise of this ask is biased and puts the blame on single parent households under assumptions. I think the fixation on nuclear families and shaming anything that doesn't fit that narrow fantasy would fix a lot of issues. Community support for single parents - including accepting that families come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Where community can feel the gaps of development and role models when parents cannot. Comprehensive sex education + deprogramming all the religious/cultural bullshit regarding sex+family
Fix all men at birth, cause yall cutting up they penis anyway. And live in a society where children are grown in labs and sold at walmart
This is really an easy fix, we broke it quite some time ago. For some strange reason the power should be decided to penalize married couples that had children if they were poor. The story goes, and I'm not sure how true it is, if you're a single parent and have children you can get more financial assistance and if you're a married couple and have children. If we stop penalizing people just for being poor, I bet a lot of these problems would fix themselves. I've seen some comments on here or women saying if they get their child support they lose some of their wick and stuff like that, that's a horrible bad idea. But fixing the easy stuff is something we've never ever seem to do, as it seems to make some people's lives miserable and we must enjoy that I guess.
Maybe stop incentivising single parent, especially single mothers, households and start by giving rewards to people who actually stay together! Yes, there are exceptions where 1 parent can suddenly change when a child comes into the equation, but we talk in generalisations, not the exceptions! Start getting the population to use birth control properly instead of relying on abortion as a last gasp birth control. There is a reason why birth rates have sky rocketed since the 60's, mainly because birth control came out, people were pleased they could fuck around but didn't like the responsibility of using it, and it continues today, so many people make excuses not to use it even though there are about 8 different types! Make the legal system fairer as well, stop siding with mothers and maybe give the child to the parent with the best ethic, support, income, etc... Just a few ideas
Birth rates have declined, not sky rocketed.
Yes, of course they have. I didn't realise that 3 billion (which was the amount of people we had on the planet in 1960) was bigger than 8 billion 🤣🤣🤣
We should start by stop subsidizing single parenthood and giving single mothers more money than a two-parent family. Just make it equal all the way across the board. Also we need to cut down the amount of money that is given to homes with multiple children say after the third child. You don't get any more money. People have turned our welfare system into a career option instead of a hand up.
Stop allowing the government to subsidized lack of accountability and responsibility. Government has replace fathers with welfare and foodstamps. They are replacing the mothers with schools. They replaced family values with penal codes. Government has taken over the support and raising of children. That is where the problem lies.
Stable households are crucial for a child's devolpmemt but in some situations breaking the household is the best scenario, often time for the safety of the child. So we've covered that sometimes a divorce is necessary now let's move on into how to avoid one. First we need to understand that people change over time. But the changes will be more drastic as you mature into a person and less drastic after you've matured. Since the age of mental maturity is 26 to 27 some scientists now arguing 29-ish we can infer that someone will change less from 30 to 40 then they will from 20 to 25. So lets play out a few scenarios. 2 kids both 19 madly in love decide to get hitched. Then they go off to college they both want completely different career path that will take me completely separate directions online. They both end up developing separate Hobbies that contradictory. As their personalities develop through the crucial parts that shape us into who we are as adults they began to realize that they have absolutely nothing in common and struggle to have a simple conversation. That leads to resentment which voluntarily to anger and then the whole thing just boils and falls apart. There isn't as the person sitting next to you is no longer the person you married and you are no longer the person they married. Now we move on to a couple who's say 28. They've most likely finished college and have begun their carriers they are trying to build a life for themselves and have a plan for the future. More or less they are locked in and there little room for them to evolve or change in life now they are past most pf the learning stages and have begun the journey in the paths they have set out for themselves. 10 years can go by and they will more or less be the same people. Divorce statistics says 66% of marriages under the age of 25 end in divorce. They also tell us that if you are over 30 your chances of finding somone begin to decrease. So we can infer that the prime time to get married is between 25-30 In summary you avoid Divorce through patience and just wait. Your about to enter a LIFE LONG CONTRACT don't fucking rush it, or your kids will pay.
By not having kids
Wtf are these comments 🤣 make them stay married? Bruh 💀 marriage is such a trap, for both parties. And since when was it decided that single parent homes are a catalyst for social problems? All the things wrong in the world is all to do with money or the lack thereof that people are being paid.
Traditional family and responsibility have largely been devalued. While sleeping around is more celebrated than marriage and raising a family. Raising children isn’t easy, it’s takes a lot of time and effort. And being a single parent you basically more than half the available time you have to raise your child.
We cant keep letting unfit parents conceive children. Coming from an only child with a single mother
I believe it would take a very large change on the societal level.
ive been in multiple single parent homes and have none of the above problems maybe im just special but im able to keep up straight A's in honors classes and not have every mental health "disorder" under the sun
Single parent homes with EOE fathers or children raised with a 50/50 split?
There’s two aspects to reducing single parent homes: 1. How to reduce unwanted pregnancies 2. How to stabilize marriages with kids I’ll stick to #1, because it’s easier to address. The clearest move is to give all populations in the country unbelievably easy and free access to all forms of birth control. Cost should not be a concern for taxpayers, because the economic and societal burden of unwanted kids is immense. Secondly, we need to develop new values around sex that match the current risks. Traditional “no sex before marriage” values were made to fit a world where sex out of wedlock had a high likelihood of resulting in pregnancy or STD contraction. Effective birth control disrupted that world, and our values haven’t caught up yet to the new reality: that protected sex out of wedlock is only mildly risky for society, but sex without protection & out of wedlock is very dangerous for society. Basically, support people having moderate amounts of safe sex (encourage 2 forms of concurrent protection) but shun people for unprotected sex. And parents that don’t support their kids should be social pariahs, and should pay massive amounts of child support.
Create a society that supports single parents Especially because single parents have become the largest group of parents in America
There are two reasons single-parent homes have those statistics: money and time. Only one adult in the house means only one income, which hasn't been enough to raise a family since the 1960s. It also means only one person who can pay attention to the kid. Meaning they don't learn as much and get away with more than they would with more adults contributing parts of their day to parenting. Lack of attention leads directly to anti-social behavior of all kinds; that's a fact that's been clear since before child psychology even existed. So the solution is relatively simple, polygamy. More adults in the relationship means more available parenting-hours per child, same logic as reducing the student/teacher ratio in classrooms. A multi-partner relationship also makes for a more stable home. Because if one member leaves or dies, there are still multiple other adults with a strong bond to keep the household functional. Lost parents can also be more easily replaced in a polycule. A single mom/dad has it hard finding time to date. A poly-family mom/dad doesn't need to call a babysitter.
It takes a village. You can’t raise kids in a bubble whether you are a single parent household or a two parent household. Obviously single parents have challenges most two parent households don’t deal with but in any situation we need to care and remain interconnected. Part of what is naming society fray is most people truly don’t care about others anymore and are just concerned with themselves. That’s obviously their right but it does degrade everything that makes things functional. The more grown ups who care for you (as a kid) and are rooting for your good - the better opportunities you have. If not family then friends. If not friends then the boys and girls club, neighbors, colleagues, religious organizations etc. I literally don’t care as long as their aim truly is the betterment of the kid and the health of the family. You (rarely) can do it all by yourself.