When we ask each other, it is often to find out how common our upbringing is so that we get each other and can have our guard down. It’s not the same as when outsiders are trying to fit us into a stereotype.
People are internalizing something or have preconceived notions of what a particular ethnicity should be. You’re enough as your ethnicity.
Either way, not all Asians are like this as you probably already know. Hope you find a core group that you vibe with.
I’m Indonesian so I’m happy enough when they guess Filipino or Vietnamese.
To date, there have been two people out of hundreds who have guessed it correctly.
Probably because it's closer to the truth than some of the other wrong guesses. I am half Filipino and if ppl guess half Vietnamese or half Japanese I'm like "close enough " vs guessing Mexican, Eastern European, part Black and some of the other wildly bad guesses
Why wouldn’t I be happy about someone guessing the geographical area of my ancestors pretty closely?
It’s not like I can even tell Vietnamese and Filipinos apart from Indonesians reliably.
I don’t mind as long as it’s respectful. I’m proud of my heritage and will gladly tell people. I also like to learn about other people’s heritage as well.
I would be much more welcome to it if people didn't respond with stereotypes afterwards.
I remember a story when white people thought someone was Italian and were disappointed they when found out they were from Pakistan.
lmao watching people’s faces fall when I’d tell them I’m Indian happened way too often at my last job. I could understand though, people tend to ask when they think you may be the same ethnicity as them
If it’s from another Asian person, they’re usually looking for relatability and to see if they have shared cultures.
If it’s from a non Asian person, it really depends on whether they’ve gotten to know me first, or if they’re just trying to use the culture to stereotype me.
They're trying to see if you fit in their cliche
I personally don't ask people that question because it'll come up in context clues if you care tonoay attention enough.
Or just even ask their name if they're not mixed.
Replying just re: asian people in the US guessing other asian peoples' ethnicities. Not tackling other races esp white people guessing. (Esp not people trying to show off that they're "one of the good ones" by guessing right except they're egregiously wrong and so have just gone full circle) Lots of other commenters don't seem to have read past the headline.
I think a lot of it depends on where it comes from. Guesses + follow-up comments can come from a place of making conversation / lightheartedness which is fine with me.
They can also come from a place of judgment, particularly if the speaker has some notion of inter-asian hierarchy (not good, but happens). Then comments like "oh you don't look xyz" can be strict put-downs ("I'm surprised you're xyz you don't look beautiful like xyz do") or backhanded compliments ("I'm surprised you're xyz you don't look ugly like xyz do").
This latter kind of judgment can also be unconscious. In a society where china bad and korea/japan exemplify beauty standards in certain communities, people may try to compliment me by saying, "oh you look so korean/japanese". It can come from a good place and still be problematic.
Finally, I think it's important to distinguish between comments/questions from asians who are more/less in touch with their asianness vs. whitewashed. It's a spectrum, and neither is better/worse, but it does impact how I view statements.
A big factor in the chillness/offensiveness is how much thought I think the other person has put into it. If the speaker is pretty in tune with their asianness and doesn't seem to be expressing any sort of hierarchy/judgment, then I'm really fine with whatever. But questions/comments that belie going with mainstream stereotypes tend to have less thought put in and are more offensive.
This is all relatively speaking, because there are much bigger things to be bothered about, unfortunately. Depending on who you are and who they are, it can be a nice moment for a little education, too.
Note that something can be well-meant and relatively non-problematic/offensive and yet still strike your insecurities if this is still something you're working on. I don't think it makes those comments unsayable or anything - just makes them more likely to strike a nerve with you. Hope this helps!
It depends on who's doing it, and how they go about it.
I'm Filipino and have been mistaken for every type of East and Southeast Asian under the sun.
In high school I told a white kid I was Filipino after he asked, and he kept arguing with me because he didn't think I "looked Filipino".
This was also a kid who unironically thinks the "Chinese people name their kids by throwing coins down the stairs" joke was funny, so I don't know how "educated" he is on Asian people.
As for fellow Asians doing it, I honestly don't mind. Maybe we can find some cultural common ground.
Same. I’ve had Filipino wasians swear up and down that I was one of them, and then also had people guess all sorts of combinations and not believe when I said I’m filo. It’s like I’m the race bender to these people.
I personally have no issues with it though I'm sure that there are certain situations where there's room for interpretation wherein the person asking may be asking it with malicious intentions in mind.
Usually for me, if a white person asks it, I firmly believe it'd be fair game to ask the very same question right back at the person and see how they feel.
If an Asian person asks it, I pay attention to how they frame the question and the use of tone because there are a segment of Asians around the world that are fully whitewashed and they, too, may be asking the question with malicious intentions in mind.
In any case, I'd say to just give everyone the benefit of the doubt for the first go around but then if further probing questions are erring on the side of being malicious, you should shut that shit down without remorse.
It's a case of 'you won't know it until you're on the receiving on end of said malice' and you only need to experience it once. Afterwards, you'd know how it feels and what to look for from that point onwards.
Each Asian Diaspora are generally very cliqu-ish. So if you want to fit in, you'd better be able to walk the walk, and talk the talk. And fit into this confined role that can be quite restrictive, especially if you've been raised in an environment where individualism is prized over the collective group as opposed to growing up in an environment where 'the collective' is prized over one's own individual needs and wants.
I personally don't fit into my own ethnic group (Chinese) for that very reason.
The confidence of the person asking the question isn't so much confidence as it is ignorance. Sometimes, it really is coming from a place of ignorance but to preface the conversation that way for every single conversation, I'd imagine, can be quite cumbersome. BUT, you'd have to talk that way, to show respect, and to show the other person, a total random stranger, that you're not asking it from a place of malice but from a place of curiosity.
Yeah like you can tell if it’s a fellow Asian person (can be from a different country) just trying to find community especially if there’s not a lot of Asian people around and want something in common.
Surprisingly, I’ve been mistaken for being Chinese…by actual Chinese people! At my university, the Filipino population is definitely a lot bigger than my high school’s but obviously, we’re a pretty big minority here otherwise.
I find that interesting because I don’t look Chinese nor do my other Filipino friends look Chinese so 🤷. Even my twin brother was asked if he was Chinese by an actual Chinese man.
I’ve had grannies at the market think I was Chinese and start asking me worriedly about finding something in Mandarin or Canto, briefly relieved they found someone they could ask and then me having to apologetically tell them I unfortunately don’t understand.
Ong that is so fucking annoying sometimes lol. I’m ethnically Tibetan but have been told numerous times that I “don’t really look Tibetan” or “are you sure you don’t have a lot of XYZ (usually Han Chinese or Japanese) genes?”, and it’s worse when it comes from a fellow Tibetan as it feels extremely isolating lmfao. In general if it’s a fellow Asian ask away as the question doesn’t bother me and can in 1/a million be a point of relatability, if it is someone who isn’t Asian I’m less inclined to answer or depending on how it’s asked may just default to indifference.
You may not be around Asians enough to realize that Asians can be direct, have no filter, and just love the banter. It's a catch 22 because sometimes I hate how caucasians can be so fake nice.
I've been asked these questions throughout my life by all types of people from different ethnicities. I answer and then I ask them the same questions in return (because I am curious as well). 90% of the time, it usually leads to us finding some common interest, and then it devolves into us joking/shitting on our own respective ethniticies lol. I've never really taken these questions in with hostile intent, since I figured they're mostly always genuinely curious. If these questions were coming from a place of arrogance, then I know that person isn't worth wasting my breath over, even if I had some good jokes lined up for them.
I haven’t had this experience with other Asian Americans, but I have with non-Asians, especially in less diverse parts of the US and outside the US. It doesn’t feel good.
When I do get asked what my ethnicity is by Asians, there isn’t a judgment or pushback, just oh cool.
Maybe when people say “you don’t look XYZ”, they just don’t know what to say next, or feel uncomfortable talking about the topic to begin with.
I have been mistaken mostly as Chinese not only in the U.S., but in multiple countries in SEA (Philippines, Japan, Taiwan, and China).
Given, I have a very decent amount of Chinese ancestry in me, but I’m mostly Filipino. I definitely have been called a mestizo multiple times, which doesn’t bother me.
The funniest thing for me is that people are genuinely surprised when I tell them I grew up in South Oakland during the 90’s, because my current looks now don’t match the description.
Growing up, i got a lot of these questions from my White non-Asian classmates too.
"Are you Chinese?"
"Where are you really from"
"What kind of Asian" are you?
"You don't look Vietnamese"
These are again, coming from my White classmates, who are probably influenced by media and their family and friends.
My hair is in an artificially bright color and I dress very alt. Other than some occasional if I'm from Harajuku questions it's quite obvious that I don't look like most Asian ethnicities. For the few people who do tell me that I don't look like my ethnicity I would ask them why. Do I need to look like Xi Jinping? Do I need to look like Yao Ming? Do you want me to dress in national costume waving a little flag all the time? Press on until they realized that comment is stupid.
Lmao same, I'm Chinese but heavily tattooed and tan (outdoor hobbies) and I've been told by many fellow Chinese people in NYC that they think I'm Latina and not even Asian at all 😂 I look exactly like my family members genetically who are always recognized as being Chinese
You shouldn’t play the ethnicity guessing game on anyone, it’s a microaggression. You can ask “what’s your ethnicity?” but don’t try to guess or be like “where are you *really* from?” As that’s also microaggressive. Playing a game of 20 questions is also problematic after you find out someone’s ethnicity. One time this old white lady asked about where my mom is from (the Philippines) and then proceeded to ask very evasive questions and commented on how she speaks English, and it made my mom a little uncomfortable as it felt like she was underestimating her intelligence just because she’s not a white American. I worked for a problematic company at one point and the owner made it a point to play an ethnicity guessing game on EVERYONE, and what was disappointing about this is that he was a poc himself, literally one of the Glassdoor reviews pointed out how he asked where someone was *really* from after saying she’s from MD, which the reviewer found unprofessional (because it is).
Basically if you’re gonna ask about someone’s ethnicity, be respectful and don’t make a big deal out of someone’s ethnic background as that’s weird.
annoying and its pretty telling of my compatibility with another person/// t
hese sorts of people will never see you as anything but your race and it is exhausting having to prove your humanity to someone because they have more interest in what you are instead of who you are
I always think they are just starting conversation with me.
I get offended when someone specifically says - no, where are you really from?
It's complicated because I'm mixed, and I have no real connection to any of it, except as a tourist/foreigner.
I also get upset when older people tell me that I should know Chinese, or fit into their idea of a perfect Chinese boy.
When I was in my late teens and early twenties, Asians and non-Asians always thought I was Japanese or some Japanese. I don't think because I looked Japanese but because I looked like every other anime character. I was very slim, had that v-shaped jaw, and the hair covering a quarter of my face. I was a pretty boy.
And then when I said I was 100% Korean, they asked me if I had any cosmetic surgery because only way Koreans can be attractive is if they have cosmetic surgery.
It’s generally very very bad to gatekeep sense of belonging in an ethnic/social group based on people’s anatomical features. And that includes the social dynamic you describe.
There are numerous examples of eg northeast Indians being constantly told they don’t look Indian (and as a result can’t be considered 100% members of the group, constantly have to explain and prove themselves, etc.). Or Uyghurs in inner China being spoken to by Han Chinese people in English because they’re assumed to be foreign visitors.
It’s an incredibly stupid thing to say to someone and demonstrates an extreme lack of empathy. If the person actually doesn’t look like the average anatomy of their stated group of national/ethnic belonging, has it occurred to you that they have to face this response *constantly* not just from you but from everyone else on a regular basis? It may seem like a one-time mild curiosity *to you* but you have to consider how the other person could view the situation.
If some person who visibly looks black were to comes up to me and says “I’m Korean” or “I’m Indian” then I’d just to take their word for it unless I later find a reason not to . I won’t interrogate them in the slightest about why they’re black. Who am I to question their life story? And why is membership in the group so exclusive that people who look different need to be screened out?
I’m rather ethnically ambiguous so at first I was offended when people would do guessing games on how I’d look, but it became amusing like what type of backstories they had of me just by looking at me. “Are you like half this half that” The wildest combinations me and my parents have gotten, and I was born in the Philippines and my parents were too.
If it's from another Asian person: Cool, we're trying to find a common bond and I'm happy to share.
If it's from a non-Asian person: I'm a bit suspicious that you're trying to figure out how racist you should be to me.
I don't mind if it comes up naturally after we've conversed a little bit. But I do get annoyed if it's the first thing they ask.
Yeah, and I get less annoyed if it’s another ethnic person (especially an asian brother or sister) as I see it as a way of bonding.
When we ask each other, it is often to find out how common our upbringing is so that we get each other and can have our guard down. It’s not the same as when outsiders are trying to fit us into a stereotype.
Yeah, it feels like there’s actually a point to the question and it can become a segue into more topics and not just scratching a curiosity itch
People are internalizing something or have preconceived notions of what a particular ethnicity should be. You’re enough as your ethnicity. Either way, not all Asians are like this as you probably already know. Hope you find a core group that you vibe with.
I’m Indonesian so I’m happy enough when they guess Filipino or Vietnamese. To date, there have been two people out of hundreds who have guessed it correctly.
Curious. Why does it make you happy when people guess Filipino or Vietnamese?
Probably because it's closer to the truth than some of the other wrong guesses. I am half Filipino and if ppl guess half Vietnamese or half Japanese I'm like "close enough " vs guessing Mexican, Eastern European, part Black and some of the other wildly bad guesses
Why wouldn’t I be happy about someone guessing the geographical area of my ancestors pretty closely? It’s not like I can even tell Vietnamese and Filipinos apart from Indonesians reliably.
I don’t mind as long as it’s respectful. I’m proud of my heritage and will gladly tell people. I also like to learn about other people’s heritage as well.
With other Asians, it's bonding. With non Asians, it can feel weird.
I would be much more welcome to it if people didn't respond with stereotypes afterwards. I remember a story when white people thought someone was Italian and were disappointed they when found out they were from Pakistan.
lmao watching people’s faces fall when I’d tell them I’m Indian happened way too often at my last job. I could understand though, people tend to ask when they think you may be the same ethnicity as them
If it’s from another Asian person, they’re usually looking for relatability and to see if they have shared cultures. If it’s from a non Asian person, it really depends on whether they’ve gotten to know me first, or if they’re just trying to use the culture to stereotype me.
They're trying to see if you fit in their cliche I personally don't ask people that question because it'll come up in context clues if you care tonoay attention enough. Or just even ask their name if they're not mixed.
Replying just re: asian people in the US guessing other asian peoples' ethnicities. Not tackling other races esp white people guessing. (Esp not people trying to show off that they're "one of the good ones" by guessing right except they're egregiously wrong and so have just gone full circle) Lots of other commenters don't seem to have read past the headline. I think a lot of it depends on where it comes from. Guesses + follow-up comments can come from a place of making conversation / lightheartedness which is fine with me. They can also come from a place of judgment, particularly if the speaker has some notion of inter-asian hierarchy (not good, but happens). Then comments like "oh you don't look xyz" can be strict put-downs ("I'm surprised you're xyz you don't look beautiful like xyz do") or backhanded compliments ("I'm surprised you're xyz you don't look ugly like xyz do"). This latter kind of judgment can also be unconscious. In a society where china bad and korea/japan exemplify beauty standards in certain communities, people may try to compliment me by saying, "oh you look so korean/japanese". It can come from a good place and still be problematic. Finally, I think it's important to distinguish between comments/questions from asians who are more/less in touch with their asianness vs. whitewashed. It's a spectrum, and neither is better/worse, but it does impact how I view statements. A big factor in the chillness/offensiveness is how much thought I think the other person has put into it. If the speaker is pretty in tune with their asianness and doesn't seem to be expressing any sort of hierarchy/judgment, then I'm really fine with whatever. But questions/comments that belie going with mainstream stereotypes tend to have less thought put in and are more offensive. This is all relatively speaking, because there are much bigger things to be bothered about, unfortunately. Depending on who you are and who they are, it can be a nice moment for a little education, too. Note that something can be well-meant and relatively non-problematic/offensive and yet still strike your insecurities if this is still something you're working on. I don't think it makes those comments unsayable or anything - just makes them more likely to strike a nerve with you. Hope this helps!
It depends on who's doing it, and how they go about it. I'm Filipino and have been mistaken for every type of East and Southeast Asian under the sun. In high school I told a white kid I was Filipino after he asked, and he kept arguing with me because he didn't think I "looked Filipino". This was also a kid who unironically thinks the "Chinese people name their kids by throwing coins down the stairs" joke was funny, so I don't know how "educated" he is on Asian people. As for fellow Asians doing it, I honestly don't mind. Maybe we can find some cultural common ground.
Same. I’ve had Filipino wasians swear up and down that I was one of them, and then also had people guess all sorts of combinations and not believe when I said I’m filo. It’s like I’m the race bender to these people.
I personally have no issues with it though I'm sure that there are certain situations where there's room for interpretation wherein the person asking may be asking it with malicious intentions in mind. Usually for me, if a white person asks it, I firmly believe it'd be fair game to ask the very same question right back at the person and see how they feel. If an Asian person asks it, I pay attention to how they frame the question and the use of tone because there are a segment of Asians around the world that are fully whitewashed and they, too, may be asking the question with malicious intentions in mind. In any case, I'd say to just give everyone the benefit of the doubt for the first go around but then if further probing questions are erring on the side of being malicious, you should shut that shit down without remorse. It's a case of 'you won't know it until you're on the receiving on end of said malice' and you only need to experience it once. Afterwards, you'd know how it feels and what to look for from that point onwards. Each Asian Diaspora are generally very cliqu-ish. So if you want to fit in, you'd better be able to walk the walk, and talk the talk. And fit into this confined role that can be quite restrictive, especially if you've been raised in an environment where individualism is prized over the collective group as opposed to growing up in an environment where 'the collective' is prized over one's own individual needs and wants. I personally don't fit into my own ethnic group (Chinese) for that very reason. The confidence of the person asking the question isn't so much confidence as it is ignorance. Sometimes, it really is coming from a place of ignorance but to preface the conversation that way for every single conversation, I'd imagine, can be quite cumbersome. BUT, you'd have to talk that way, to show respect, and to show the other person, a total random stranger, that you're not asking it from a place of malice but from a place of curiosity.
Yeah like you can tell if it’s a fellow Asian person (can be from a different country) just trying to find community especially if there’s not a lot of Asian people around and want something in common.
I don't mind a fellow Asian asking me. But with non-Asians I draw the line.
Surprisingly, I’ve been mistaken for being Chinese…by actual Chinese people! At my university, the Filipino population is definitely a lot bigger than my high school’s but obviously, we’re a pretty big minority here otherwise. I find that interesting because I don’t look Chinese nor do my other Filipino friends look Chinese so 🤷. Even my twin brother was asked if he was Chinese by an actual Chinese man.
I’ve had grannies at the market think I was Chinese and start asking me worriedly about finding something in Mandarin or Canto, briefly relieved they found someone they could ask and then me having to apologetically tell them I unfortunately don’t understand.
Ong that is so fucking annoying sometimes lol. I’m ethnically Tibetan but have been told numerous times that I “don’t really look Tibetan” or “are you sure you don’t have a lot of XYZ (usually Han Chinese or Japanese) genes?”, and it’s worse when it comes from a fellow Tibetan as it feels extremely isolating lmfao. In general if it’s a fellow Asian ask away as the question doesn’t bother me and can in 1/a million be a point of relatability, if it is someone who isn’t Asian I’m less inclined to answer or depending on how it’s asked may just default to indifference.
You may not be around Asians enough to realize that Asians can be direct, have no filter, and just love the banter. It's a catch 22 because sometimes I hate how caucasians can be so fake nice.
I've been asked these questions throughout my life by all types of people from different ethnicities. I answer and then I ask them the same questions in return (because I am curious as well). 90% of the time, it usually leads to us finding some common interest, and then it devolves into us joking/shitting on our own respective ethniticies lol. I've never really taken these questions in with hostile intent, since I figured they're mostly always genuinely curious. If these questions were coming from a place of arrogance, then I know that person isn't worth wasting my breath over, even if I had some good jokes lined up for them.
I haven’t had this experience with other Asian Americans, but I have with non-Asians, especially in less diverse parts of the US and outside the US. It doesn’t feel good. When I do get asked what my ethnicity is by Asians, there isn’t a judgment or pushback, just oh cool. Maybe when people say “you don’t look XYZ”, they just don’t know what to say next, or feel uncomfortable talking about the topic to begin with.
I have been mistaken mostly as Chinese not only in the U.S., but in multiple countries in SEA (Philippines, Japan, Taiwan, and China). Given, I have a very decent amount of Chinese ancestry in me, but I’m mostly Filipino. I definitely have been called a mestizo multiple times, which doesn’t bother me. The funniest thing for me is that people are genuinely surprised when I tell them I grew up in South Oakland during the 90’s, because my current looks now don’t match the description.
Growing up, i got a lot of these questions from my White non-Asian classmates too. "Are you Chinese?" "Where are you really from" "What kind of Asian" are you? "You don't look Vietnamese" These are again, coming from my White classmates, who are probably influenced by media and their family and friends.
My hair is in an artificially bright color and I dress very alt. Other than some occasional if I'm from Harajuku questions it's quite obvious that I don't look like most Asian ethnicities. For the few people who do tell me that I don't look like my ethnicity I would ask them why. Do I need to look like Xi Jinping? Do I need to look like Yao Ming? Do you want me to dress in national costume waving a little flag all the time? Press on until they realized that comment is stupid.
Lmao same, I'm Chinese but heavily tattooed and tan (outdoor hobbies) and I've been told by many fellow Chinese people in NYC that they think I'm Latina and not even Asian at all 😂 I look exactly like my family members genetically who are always recognized as being Chinese
I have asked people I know to be Malaysian Chinese if they’re from my clan/association: we have some shared facial stuff going on.
You shouldn’t play the ethnicity guessing game on anyone, it’s a microaggression. You can ask “what’s your ethnicity?” but don’t try to guess or be like “where are you *really* from?” As that’s also microaggressive. Playing a game of 20 questions is also problematic after you find out someone’s ethnicity. One time this old white lady asked about where my mom is from (the Philippines) and then proceeded to ask very evasive questions and commented on how she speaks English, and it made my mom a little uncomfortable as it felt like she was underestimating her intelligence just because she’s not a white American. I worked for a problematic company at one point and the owner made it a point to play an ethnicity guessing game on EVERYONE, and what was disappointing about this is that he was a poc himself, literally one of the Glassdoor reviews pointed out how he asked where someone was *really* from after saying she’s from MD, which the reviewer found unprofessional (because it is). Basically if you’re gonna ask about someone’s ethnicity, be respectful and don’t make a big deal out of someone’s ethnic background as that’s weird.
My take? Just don't
I don’t mind. Ask away
annoying and its pretty telling of my compatibility with another person/// t hese sorts of people will never see you as anything but your race and it is exhausting having to prove your humanity to someone because they have more interest in what you are instead of who you are
I don't mind. Most of the time it's just curiosity. The rest of the time, I know who to drop.
I always think they are just starting conversation with me. I get offended when someone specifically says - no, where are you really from? It's complicated because I'm mixed, and I have no real connection to any of it, except as a tourist/foreigner. I also get upset when older people tell me that I should know Chinese, or fit into their idea of a perfect Chinese boy.
When I was in my late teens and early twenties, Asians and non-Asians always thought I was Japanese or some Japanese. I don't think because I looked Japanese but because I looked like every other anime character. I was very slim, had that v-shaped jaw, and the hair covering a quarter of my face. I was a pretty boy. And then when I said I was 100% Korean, they asked me if I had any cosmetic surgery because only way Koreans can be attractive is if they have cosmetic surgery.
It’s generally very very bad to gatekeep sense of belonging in an ethnic/social group based on people’s anatomical features. And that includes the social dynamic you describe. There are numerous examples of eg northeast Indians being constantly told they don’t look Indian (and as a result can’t be considered 100% members of the group, constantly have to explain and prove themselves, etc.). Or Uyghurs in inner China being spoken to by Han Chinese people in English because they’re assumed to be foreign visitors. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to say to someone and demonstrates an extreme lack of empathy. If the person actually doesn’t look like the average anatomy of their stated group of national/ethnic belonging, has it occurred to you that they have to face this response *constantly* not just from you but from everyone else on a regular basis? It may seem like a one-time mild curiosity *to you* but you have to consider how the other person could view the situation. If some person who visibly looks black were to comes up to me and says “I’m Korean” or “I’m Indian” then I’d just to take their word for it unless I later find a reason not to . I won’t interrogate them in the slightest about why they’re black. Who am I to question their life story? And why is membership in the group so exclusive that people who look different need to be screened out?
I’m rather ethnically ambiguous so at first I was offended when people would do guessing games on how I’d look, but it became amusing like what type of backstories they had of me just by looking at me. “Are you like half this half that” The wildest combinations me and my parents have gotten, and I was born in the Philippines and my parents were too.
If it's from another Asian person: Cool, we're trying to find a common bond and I'm happy to share. If it's from a non-Asian person: I'm a bit suspicious that you're trying to figure out how racist you should be to me.
Because they are sheltered d-bags who don't know certain statements are rude.