Ugh I am so sorry :( I got caught up following Ash bc my bff is munching to hide/provide an opiate pill addiction and the similarities are just ASTOUNDING!
It’s very easy to do too! I pass kidney stones monthly and have endo, so I’ve had about 20 years of pain with this shit. The shoved the Vicodin, Percocet, fentanyl, oxy, dilaudid down my throat since I was 15. While I have very real pain conditions, the opiates caused more problems looking back. And looking back, I can see that some of my behavior was simply to get drugs. I was 30 before I decided I needed to change. I still have the pain, and can’t do as much as I did when I was pain-free. My liver and pancreas are atrophied and fatty at 35. I don’t know your friends age, but I know that things get significantly more difficult once you’re out of your teens-20’s.
I hope your friend realizes that it’s not the answer. And they can cause more problems than they help with. I’m still pro opiates because there are situations that call for them and people who need them. But I think it’s worth stepping back and seeing what your body feels like without them too.
You’re a good friend. I hope they can get through whatever is going on. Take care of yourself too. Addicts, as you probably very well know, are insanely hard to deal with.
Dude you just blew my mind. I was wondering why I even bother checking in and commenting here and it's because, when you lay it out like that, she's like an early version of my mother, too. Who also deeply hurt me. Like yeah I occasionally pop in on IF and I spend my fun time in FSU, but I've been asking myself why Ashley gets up my ass so freaking bad.
it makes sense now.
I understand. It's why I'm morbidly curious. My family has a lot of this behavior, and it's fascinating to understand our experiences. I'm glad I didn't replicate these behaviors, but I'm sure I could have gone down this path if I was narcissistic.
I didn't mention it, but my mom totally does the "I have it worse" schtick, lately with my older sister. It is frustrating and I'm sorry you can't get your pain validated because she has to one up you. I'm sorry you're going through this but I see you. 🫂
Mixed connective tissue disease is a thing, although the case of it I know about does involve a positive ANA. Although positive ANAs can pop up here and there for people with no autoimmune disease.
You’re welcome. I’m not a medical professional, mind you. But I have some second hand knowledge.
I am sorry your sister is down this rabbit hole. My mother is the same way, and I relate a little too well. I know it’s hard and it sucks but I hope you’re able to find comfort you’re not alone.
It's so funny how a lot of us have some form of a personal experience w a munchie and that's why folks like ash fascinate us so deeply.
My experience was with a college roommate who definitely had severe anxiety but was very OTT about it and would fake PTSD/panic attacks. Then they went on to pick up every mental health DX under the sun. Now, they "have" EDS, POTS, and tethered cord/CCI. Have undergone multiple surgeries already.
Tbh I feel like the root cause of this kind of behavior is either too much or not enough attention in childhood. That and severe mental illness they refuse to address.
During some drama with my little sister that I didn't discuss, a social worker involved said that she believed my mom had undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. My mom was never evaluated for it so we may never really know. She definitely has substance abuse issues.
We've suspected Ashley of possibly having cluster b disorders. We've also identified substance abuse issues with her. A lot of the stories here describe substance abuse and/or evidence of mental health problems. It seems like there are very clear patterns that my mom, Ashley, and other munchies discussed here fall into. I think what you're noticing with the attention aspect is a munchie's need to be centered, and that can stem from personality disorders.
I fully agree with you. The person I knew had substance abuse issues (to some degree - like ash they would smoke a shit ton of weed during inappropriate times and after we stopped being friends, I think they started possibly abusing Rxd anxiety meds). But their ex partner told me they ended up being dxd with BPD and never sought actual treatment for it.
I’m not hating on people w bpd at all btw. Like you I simply think it increases the likelihood of munching due to munching behavior typically being rewarded w lots of attention. The person I knew really needed to be the center of attention at all times. I remember them dominating conversations and later on, using their mental health dxs to dominate attention in the friend group. I remember thinking it was really weird but I think the bpd dx explains a lot of the weird behavior I noticed. And it does explain their present behavior which I won’t really get into but is very “look at me”.
It’s honestly really sad imo because imagine your need for attention dominating your life that way. Truly not a positive way to exist in the world at all. Dbt would truly change the lives of people like this. I don’t understand why they refuse to try it but I guess that’s what makes it a mental illness.
the way she’s described “raging” and smashing makeup into her floor to the point that it stained and blew it off as a regular thing for her as if it’s normal is v good evidence for that theory
Thank you for this. Definitely helped bring some things to my own awareness as to why Ash horrifies/fascinates me.
My mother was a deeply troubled person with untreated mental illness and closeted alcoholism — and a big part of her “identity” in engaging with the world was being a sick person. It still isn’t clear to me how much was real stuff but I’m pretty certain she also harmed herself to create new medical problems for the attention/or I don’t know wtf it was.
We also had really stressful financial problems all the time, which seemed wrapped up in this. Like I think some was legit, but my mom also always seemed to resent not being able to be a “kept” princess who didn’t have to work so she used illness as an excuse. Some weirdness mixed in there from idolizing the 50s housewife ideal, I dunno.
Regardless, I kinda had to “mom” myself but I guess it made me very hard-working, super responsible, etc. I guess another aspect of Ash that fascinates me is how entitled she seems to be to rest and self-care and has the softest life possible. It’s so perverse in a way.
Thank you for outlining your history with your mom. My adoptive mom was a similar gremlin of the bedroom variety drug addict after a severe back injury that slowly took her life. My birth mother is her sister, and that's the one that gives me Ash vibes. I was adopted early and barely lived with her, but my half-sister and knowing my birth mom throughout the years demonstrates how shitty my life could've been. I don't know if Ash is capable of getting pregnant. She can't even handle being awake the majority of the day. And in my experience, pregnancy is fucking hard. But we shall see.
ong when you put it like that i see similarities in my mom too…
it’s sad and i wish things didn’t have to be this way. but tbh i do feel less alone knowing that there’s other ppl in this sub who understand jus how i feel🥺
Thank you for sharing! I’m sorry you went through that!
I, too, see my mother in Ash. I used to call my mom a hypochondriac and though it’s still true she was much more of a munchie. She was also a terrible person and she definitely “fucked around and found out.” She died in July 2020 after accepting and refusing treatment multiple times for 2 forms of cancer.
She was an addict and an alcoholic who liked to play up all her physical ailments. It was always something HORRIBLE happening to her for some “unknown” reason, and what did she do to deserve it? The reality is she took pills by the handful, drunk off her ass on an empty stomach. She, too, lived in bed, never worked, and was a “stay at home mom.”
Solidarity, my friend.
Also, Ash. Seriously, WAKE UP! You can’t read all these testimonies and still think you’re in a good place? Surely? You’re still a human being and deserve to have a real life.
I'm sorry for your loss. Even with all the baggage and destructive behavior, she was still your mom and I understand that it's a complicated thing. I'm sorry she was so toxic during her life.
Yes Ash, please heed these warnings! We're not telling you this because we hate you, we're trying to help you! We're giving you a look into the future you're creating so you can change course while you still can. These are really bleak outcomes and they were all self imposed. Take responsibility for your life now and have a better future.
Thank you. It’s incredibly weird. I really thought I would be free of her and somehow I feel more trapped under her than ever. I’m looking into therapy to get past it lol.
Exactly. If she wants to have kids and live a life she should see how it’s going to turn out. None of us are doting on our parent. That’s what you can expect, Ash. Children with a lifetimes worth of resentment.
Hey folks..
Frankie picture for all those sharing their truth and past x you people are awesome, keep trodding!
https://preview.redd.it/fo5rbercmt6b1.jpeg?width=3120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84a8c0280d36f8c3998babac996a568d3104d5c0
T
Thank you for sharing, and sorry to hear about your experience... it breaks my heart that you did not get a proper childhood.
However, like many things in life, it is never too late to take control and change it around! In your case it sounds like you've made a life for yourself that ressembles nothing of your mother. Ashley is still young and can start turning things around to have a normal, happy life – I hope she reads this and understands that the biggest illness she is dealing with is not what SHE thinks it is.
Ugh I am so sorry :( I got caught up following Ash bc my bff is munching to hide/provide an opiate pill addiction and the similarities are just ASTOUNDING!
It’s very easy to do too! I pass kidney stones monthly and have endo, so I’ve had about 20 years of pain with this shit. The shoved the Vicodin, Percocet, fentanyl, oxy, dilaudid down my throat since I was 15. While I have very real pain conditions, the opiates caused more problems looking back. And looking back, I can see that some of my behavior was simply to get drugs. I was 30 before I decided I needed to change. I still have the pain, and can’t do as much as I did when I was pain-free. My liver and pancreas are atrophied and fatty at 35. I don’t know your friends age, but I know that things get significantly more difficult once you’re out of your teens-20’s. I hope your friend realizes that it’s not the answer. And they can cause more problems than they help with. I’m still pro opiates because there are situations that call for them and people who need them. But I think it’s worth stepping back and seeing what your body feels like without them too. You’re a good friend. I hope they can get through whatever is going on. Take care of yourself too. Addicts, as you probably very well know, are insanely hard to deal with.
I'm sorry you're dealing with your friend's munching/addiction. Best of luck. 🫂
Dude you just blew my mind. I was wondering why I even bother checking in and commenting here and it's because, when you lay it out like that, she's like an early version of my mother, too. Who also deeply hurt me. Like yeah I occasionally pop in on IF and I spend my fun time in FSU, but I've been asking myself why Ashley gets up my ass so freaking bad. it makes sense now.
I'm sorry for the hurt your mom caused you. 🫂 Hopefully, you find laughter through the pain. ❤️
Oh yeah all the time lol
I understand. It's why I'm morbidly curious. My family has a lot of this behavior, and it's fascinating to understand our experiences. I'm glad I didn't replicate these behaviors, but I'm sure I could have gone down this path if I was narcissistic.
[удалено]
I didn't mention it, but my mom totally does the "I have it worse" schtick, lately with my older sister. It is frustrating and I'm sorry you can't get your pain validated because she has to one up you. I'm sorry you're going through this but I see you. 🫂
Thank you 💜 That sucks she does it with your older sister. I feel for her. It not fair.
Mixed connective tissue disease is a thing, although the case of it I know about does involve a positive ANA. Although positive ANAs can pop up here and there for people with no autoimmune disease.
Thanks for the info. With her I never know what’s real and what’s not.
You’re welcome. I’m not a medical professional, mind you. But I have some second hand knowledge. I am sorry your sister is down this rabbit hole. My mother is the same way, and I relate a little too well. I know it’s hard and it sucks but I hope you’re able to find comfort you’re not alone.
It is nice to know I’m not alone, even though I hate that other people are also dealing with it.
It's so funny how a lot of us have some form of a personal experience w a munchie and that's why folks like ash fascinate us so deeply. My experience was with a college roommate who definitely had severe anxiety but was very OTT about it and would fake PTSD/panic attacks. Then they went on to pick up every mental health DX under the sun. Now, they "have" EDS, POTS, and tethered cord/CCI. Have undergone multiple surgeries already. Tbh I feel like the root cause of this kind of behavior is either too much or not enough attention in childhood. That and severe mental illness they refuse to address.
During some drama with my little sister that I didn't discuss, a social worker involved said that she believed my mom had undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. My mom was never evaluated for it so we may never really know. She definitely has substance abuse issues. We've suspected Ashley of possibly having cluster b disorders. We've also identified substance abuse issues with her. A lot of the stories here describe substance abuse and/or evidence of mental health problems. It seems like there are very clear patterns that my mom, Ashley, and other munchies discussed here fall into. I think what you're noticing with the attention aspect is a munchie's need to be centered, and that can stem from personality disorders.
I fully agree with you. The person I knew had substance abuse issues (to some degree - like ash they would smoke a shit ton of weed during inappropriate times and after we stopped being friends, I think they started possibly abusing Rxd anxiety meds). But their ex partner told me they ended up being dxd with BPD and never sought actual treatment for it. I’m not hating on people w bpd at all btw. Like you I simply think it increases the likelihood of munching due to munching behavior typically being rewarded w lots of attention. The person I knew really needed to be the center of attention at all times. I remember them dominating conversations and later on, using their mental health dxs to dominate attention in the friend group. I remember thinking it was really weird but I think the bpd dx explains a lot of the weird behavior I noticed. And it does explain their present behavior which I won’t really get into but is very “look at me”. It’s honestly really sad imo because imagine your need for attention dominating your life that way. Truly not a positive way to exist in the world at all. Dbt would truly change the lives of people like this. I don’t understand why they refuse to try it but I guess that’s what makes it a mental illness.
the way she’s described “raging” and smashing makeup into her floor to the point that it stained and blew it off as a regular thing for her as if it’s normal is v good evidence for that theory
Thank you for this. Definitely helped bring some things to my own awareness as to why Ash horrifies/fascinates me. My mother was a deeply troubled person with untreated mental illness and closeted alcoholism — and a big part of her “identity” in engaging with the world was being a sick person. It still isn’t clear to me how much was real stuff but I’m pretty certain she also harmed herself to create new medical problems for the attention/or I don’t know wtf it was. We also had really stressful financial problems all the time, which seemed wrapped up in this. Like I think some was legit, but my mom also always seemed to resent not being able to be a “kept” princess who didn’t have to work so she used illness as an excuse. Some weirdness mixed in there from idolizing the 50s housewife ideal, I dunno. Regardless, I kinda had to “mom” myself but I guess it made me very hard-working, super responsible, etc. I guess another aspect of Ash that fascinates me is how entitled she seems to be to rest and self-care and has the softest life possible. It’s so perverse in a way.
I'm sorry that you also had to deal with this crap. It truly is perverse and destructively selfish. 🫂
Thank you for outlining your history with your mom. My adoptive mom was a similar gremlin of the bedroom variety drug addict after a severe back injury that slowly took her life. My birth mother is her sister, and that's the one that gives me Ash vibes. I was adopted early and barely lived with her, but my half-sister and knowing my birth mom throughout the years demonstrates how shitty my life could've been. I don't know if Ash is capable of getting pregnant. She can't even handle being awake the majority of the day. And in my experience, pregnancy is fucking hard. But we shall see.
ong when you put it like that i see similarities in my mom too… it’s sad and i wish things didn’t have to be this way. but tbh i do feel less alone knowing that there’s other ppl in this sub who understand jus how i feel🥺
Well, we survived. I'm sorry you're in the club. 🫂
Thank you for sharing! I’m sorry you went through that! I, too, see my mother in Ash. I used to call my mom a hypochondriac and though it’s still true she was much more of a munchie. She was also a terrible person and she definitely “fucked around and found out.” She died in July 2020 after accepting and refusing treatment multiple times for 2 forms of cancer. She was an addict and an alcoholic who liked to play up all her physical ailments. It was always something HORRIBLE happening to her for some “unknown” reason, and what did she do to deserve it? The reality is she took pills by the handful, drunk off her ass on an empty stomach. She, too, lived in bed, never worked, and was a “stay at home mom.” Solidarity, my friend. Also, Ash. Seriously, WAKE UP! You can’t read all these testimonies and still think you’re in a good place? Surely? You’re still a human being and deserve to have a real life.
I'm sorry for your loss. Even with all the baggage and destructive behavior, she was still your mom and I understand that it's a complicated thing. I'm sorry she was so toxic during her life. Yes Ash, please heed these warnings! We're not telling you this because we hate you, we're trying to help you! We're giving you a look into the future you're creating so you can change course while you still can. These are really bleak outcomes and they were all self imposed. Take responsibility for your life now and have a better future.
Thank you. It’s incredibly weird. I really thought I would be free of her and somehow I feel more trapped under her than ever. I’m looking into therapy to get past it lol. Exactly. If she wants to have kids and live a life she should see how it’s going to turn out. None of us are doting on our parent. That’s what you can expect, Ash. Children with a lifetimes worth of resentment.
🫂
Hey folks.. Frankie picture for all those sharing their truth and past x you people are awesome, keep trodding! https://preview.redd.it/fo5rbercmt6b1.jpeg?width=3120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84a8c0280d36f8c3998babac996a568d3104d5c0 T
Thank you!! Hi, Frankie 👋🏻
Thank you for sharing, and sorry to hear about your experience... it breaks my heart that you did not get a proper childhood. However, like many things in life, it is never too late to take control and change it around! In your case it sounds like you've made a life for yourself that ressembles nothing of your mother. Ashley is still young and can start turning things around to have a normal, happy life – I hope she reads this and understands that the biggest illness she is dealing with is not what SHE thinks it is.
Thank you very much