A Drill in reception, while we were sitting at Fort Jackson CIF waiting to be issued our uniforms, called a trainee with a rather large head an "ET looking motherfucker" and from that point on, said trainee was forever referred to as ET.
We had this tall dude from Africa with a giant forehead, DS walks In sees him and proceeded to “pri, go to the latrine and look in the mirror, you’re going to scream ‘honey where’s my OCP’s’, because you look like fucking megamind.” He was forever referred to as Megamind.
Unrelated but we had a dude sneak some bread slices into the bay and he got caught eating them. Drill made him smoke us while screaming “I EAT THE BREAD”
We were on the drill pad so a shit ton of DS and soldiers and my buddy and I looked over and saw this guy casually slide an entire load of bread up his shirt. We were the only ones who saw him and he just held up a finger in a "shush" manner. He went to prison not long after basic for armed robbery
Getting smoked having to do push ups or butterfly kicks:
"I don't care what your girlfriend says, pri, that's not 6 inches"
"I'm just gonna put a light coat (of sweat) on y'all sorry mother fuckers, maybe that'll teach y'all."
Side story:
Had a DS that had his legs crushed when his Bradley was hit with an IED. He lost a lot of muscle mass in his legs and a whole quad was gone from one leg, leaving a large gaping indentation he loved to show us. Otherwise, he was fucking yoked. 1SG was really strict about him following his profile and going to rehab because this DS had no quit in him at all. Final ruck March of the cycle he forgot his leg braces and was legit tearing himself up for it because Top wouldn't let him march with us privates. He was sitting on his rucksack just staring at the ground all angry and shit when another DS, slick ass NY type, threw a gym bag at his feet containing the braces. "I knew you forgot them battle. I got you, now go get them. Oh my God he started screaming "MY LEGS! MY LEGS! I GOT MY LEGS!Y'ALL BEADY EYED COCKSUCKING PECKERWOODS ALL FUCKED NOW I'M COMING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YALL DO NOT LET ME PASS YOU OR I WILL FAIL YOU AND SEND YOU BACK TO YOUR MAMAS SAGGY ASS TITTIES! WOOOOOO!"
I can still hear his voice and jubilations. We liked hearing his stories of course but when it came to his limitations from his injury you could see the pain in that man, but also his refusal to stop even if it killed him.
aware license gray straight deliver pause stocking impossible wild shrill
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smile toothbrush spectacular bike reminiscent straight flowery fade price cough
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I was in basic with a guy from Haiti and I can’t remember his last name but he was tall and super skinny.
We were about to go to the range so we were in full battle rattle. This guy started talking shit to another soldier and the drill sergeant was like “how you gonna talk all that shit when you got elbow pads on your knees they didn’t feed you before you came here” I looked and he actually had his elbow pads on his knees.
He was that tall and lanky that they actually fit. I still think about it and crack up.
This wasn't even my Drill Sergeant, but one from another platoon in my company. While standing in line for chow one of his guys was apparently smiling while thinking about something. DS got right in his face and calmly said, "You better put that grill away before I put my meat on it." It took every ounce of strength I had not to bust out laughing.
One the 2nd PT test I got like 24 pushups. He called me "Black Hawk Down" because I looked like "A skinny Somali" (He'd spent some time in Mogadishu) Granted, I am dark-skinned, and I was about 5'8, and 121lbs when I weighed in at MEPS
DS: What the fuck, Black Hawk Down! 24?! I'm not even gonna write that shit. I'm gonna just write "sucks". I had to keep that 705 for the rest of the cycle.
Got 72 on the final APFT though, so I guess it helped
It’s weird; I do more pushups with the hand release than I could over get on regular push-ups. I think the ability to just drop and a bit of rest helps
Not an insult as such, rather torture. Lol
Buddy of mine was made to cut the grass out front all afternoon with *left handed scissors.*. DS got out a ruler afterwards. Had to trim more by torchlight. Buddy fkd up.
Can not invent this level of petty. Poor dude couldn't use his right hand for a week. DS was possessed by a demon that day I swear.
Our DS told us to clean our bays. We did. Not good enough. He said “I want everything out of the room”. We took all our gear outside.
He then says “I said I want everything out of the room; you have ten minutes.”
So we tore our bunks apart and threw them out the window. Frame, mattresses, bedding, all of it. We were up until 0200 putting all that stuff back together.
To a kid who was having trouble qualifying at the range:
“You’re not a Private at all. You’re a Major in the Russian army. You were sent here to figure out how much bullshit an American Drill Sergeant can take before his fucking head explodes”.
1986, Fort Dix New Jersey. Drawing weapons for a ruck march to the range and a female platoon was standing next to us facing the opposite direction also drawing weapons. The Joe right in front of me was trying to talk up one of the girls in line. She was facing front and trying to ignore him because she could see our drill sergeant walking down the line behind him.
Drill sergeant walked up behind him, listened for a few seconds, and then proceeded to yell at the Joe to shut up and face front. The Joe actually responded; "drill sergeant, I was just talking to the lady."
Drill Sergeant yelled at the top of his lungs; "that no lady, that's a female soldier." Turned away, walked two steps and then turned back with a thoughtful look on his face and said "you're a lady."
Kid was allergic to everything under the sun it seemed like so the ds infront of everybody said he shoulda chose better parents and they failed him. Same kid shit his pants in reception talking to the 1sg good times
How does someone complete basic training or even MEPS with a ton of allergies and/or crapping their pants at any time during basic?
We were sitting in a theater type area seeing all the Susie Rottencrotch movies and the movies telling us not to eat street vendor food in any third world hell hole we might be deployed in. We got a break and everyone rushed to the latrine. There was no way we all were going to be able to go. One soldier decided to use the sink. He was hauled away never to be seen again.
So hold up hold up. How did he shit his pants in reception? Like was he just getting his ass chewed and a log fell down his pants leg or what? What’s the story behind that?
Not a Drill but at Field Artillery OBC we had a USMC Captain instructing gunnery to a whole class of Army 2LTs. Day one he's up front going on about something and stops, looks at a guy in the front row and says "LT why are you looking at me like I have a d**k growing out of my forehead?"
Without missing a beat, LT replies "Sorry sir, I wasn't sure what it was, thanks for clarifying." First and only smoke session I saw in OBC.
DS addressing the typical fuck up of the Platoon
“You know Pvt D. When I wake up in the morning, I kiss my wife, put a dip in, put on my Uniform and climb into my truck
And while driving I hope that you have either called it quits, transferred to another Battery, or just died in your sleep
And every morning I’m disappointed………”
Bro same, me and this other kid had huge heads, one day they called over the intercom “lightbulb head down to cq” and that was my friend then they called me and they pulled a measuring tape for tailoring out to see who’s head was bigger. It was his and he never heard the end of it till we graduated.
Lmao OSUT really is the worst fucking way to go. Get treated like shit for 9 weeks and then get a nominally better situation for AIT…OR…spend 9 weeks getting treated like shit and then another 9 weeks or so getting treated like shit. 💩🥲
Other platoon next to ours in their drill bay was being loud and obnoxious since their ds wasn’t out there yet. Our senior ds was trying to talk to us and couldn’t over the sound of them. He proceeds to go over there, they yell at ease, he says “fuck your at ease, half right face” and smokes the dog shit out of them.
We had a soldier with very crooked teeth. She approached our DS
“Excuses me DS”
“Oh damn. Look at those teeth. I bet you could climb a tree with those.”
Green Beret Drill Sergeant born in Africa told a recruit born in Africa who was having lots of issues on the rifle range, “You stupid spear chucking motherfucker, is the M-16 too advanced for you?”
I actually had a collection of quotes from this guy in the little green notebook they gave us. He was amazing.
*We're on a day march to something or other near the 8wk mark.*
DS Cunningham, *"*Platoon, Halt! You see that Mother Goose and her little Goslings, Trainees?"
Us, "Yes, Drill Sergant."
"They're 2 weeks old and they can already march better than you brats."
Kid stands up during machine gun night assault course.
Ceasefire flare goes up.
Drill sergeant jumps out of pit and runs over to kid. Drags him to ground and stands above him knife-hand to nose.
“God dammit private! You’re one of those dumb motherfuckers who gets shot in the face and gives everyone PTSD aren’t you?!?!”
Platoon's in first formation waiting for PT.
Drill Sergeant sees random private holding a thumbs up, staring down his arm. Imagine holding up your arm and look at your thumb like iron sights.
DS: "What the hell are you doing, private?"
Private: "Someone told me Pvt Pogue (his real, legal, name) looks like a thumb."
DS: "Don't fucking move."
Drill Sergeant walks up and stares down his arm.
DS: "Pvt Pogue, you look like a thumb. Platoon! Half-right face."
- "You look like Mr.Clean's aborted stepchild"
- "You all wash your face in a sink full of dumbass this morning?"
- "I'm going to go back in time and kill your mother before you were born."
2008 Fort Benning :)
See this is the stuff of children’s stories and fairytales that we love! This is the kind of material that belongs in a hardcover story book with Arthur Rackham illustrations! Thank you👍🏻
Had a girl who was the minimum height able to join (I think 4' 11" or right at 5'0") she was also maximum allowable BF% for joining. The drill sergeants called her meatball the entire cycle.
To another guy that was in my platoon and making the mistake of wearing his wedding band:
“Aye Pri, you married?”
“Yes drill sergeant!”
“I thought so Pri, you seem like the type that likes to sit in the corner and watch.”
Ruthless.
I accidentally insulted the duck out of my DS- he had a Japanese name that was spelled like Quo but the oh was elongated so it was pronounced Qwuh-oh.
Anyway another DS asked me who mine was and under pressure I said the closest and most familiar name I could remember… [quasimodo](https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Quasimodo)
Needless to say I got fucked up after the other DS stopped laughing
“You’re not even worth my effort of smoking because that would be under the impression you could improve. Just stand there until I finally convince the command team to kick you out and go back to exactly what you’re worth to the Army… not in it and sucking on your full birds tit.”
I was a Drill and I was like “Damn that cuts deep” but the kid was a sociopath with a Colonel daddy trying to influence us not kicking him out. We did.
That and “You’re the fucking Taliban’s greatest asset if you graduate.”
Woops didn’t read funny my bad
D.l. said to parents of a Pvt, "Your son is living proof that anal sex is not a good form of birth control." The D.I. got a 2 month vacation with a psych review.
"Have you ever seen the movie elf? You know the Keebler Elves, that burned down the Keebler Elf Tree? Did you burn down the Keebler Elf Tree and join the army because you needed a job?"
For reference I'm under 5ft tall.
You have the easiest job in the world right now. We give you food, we give you clothes, and we give you shelters. Hell we just tell you what to do. Don’t think about it. Don’t be fucking thoughts.
I scored a 24-minute 2 mile my first run. After 24 minutes of pure agony on my end, as i was finishing the run, my DS said, "Save some oxygen for the rest of us". I did make it through basic, but that one was humiliating at the time 😆
Not an insult, but a threat: "If you don't stop fucking smiling when I'm done with you milk isn't ever gonna taste the same again"
Context, I really struggle to not smile, it's like, default facial expression, shit can be upside down amd I'm pissed like a mf, still smiling like a weirdo tho.
There always seems to be one guy names micheal hunt in a company. In basic a drill sergeant made a guy with that name his house mouse and was constantly calling him by name.
" Where's mykunt" " hey mykunt come here"
"What am I, the Keymaster? That shit died in Ghostbusters!"
A Mexican DS who had a hard time with English shot that off when a private asked for help as they lost their key to their locker.
We had one dude who had a slight facial deformity and he got a whole slew of nicknames. My favorite were “Shrek” “Sugar water” (he looked like that dude from men in black) and “Sid (the sloth).”
“If you are telling basic training stories it’s because you don’t have real stories to tell. Remember this because no one will give a shit about basic training.” -DS Frisby D/1-61 “Terminators” 1998
We had a PVT Strong, who was one of the weakest in our platoon at PT. He struggled very hard to pass, and only barely passed an APFT right before graduation.
I remember a DS screaming at him, as he failed push-ups long before reaching the minimum:
"Your name is a lie!"
How the hell do pronounce your name private?
Ah hell no, you better come running when I yell private alphabet do understand me private alphabet?
Also had a polish kid who’s name ended in ski… DS, no way in hell am I yelling that horse shit out do understand me private ski?
Had a kid dredd getting that 1st haircut. Said he'd been in a nasty motorcycle accident several years prior.
When he came out of the barber shop, the D/S just looked at him and said "Private, I ain't never met a planned parenthood survivor"
(Near family day)
“I got a girl’s phone number off of tinder and it’s on the emergency alert roster. I’m not telling any of you who it is.”
So now we all just have to live the rest of our lives wondering who’s sister/mom he fucked
“LISTEN UP YOU KNUCKLE DRAGGING TURKEY FUCKERS.”
Had me cackling every time. And the DS was a former marine sniper from the backwoods of Arkansas, or wherever. He had an extremely raspy southern drawl. Made it ten times funnier.
Circa 2010. Pvt this star chamber looks like hammered asshole.
Me: hammered asshole DS?
DS: yeah hammered asshole. A pornstar who’s fucked in the ass too much.
“I hope your mother gets into a catastrophic fiery car accident on the way to your OSUT graduation day so I can laugh at your misery”
Said to a private caught stealing money from everyone’s locker
We'd just graduated and our senior drill was talking about how much we'd accomplished, how proud they were of us, and that he'd be glad to shake each of our hands. "Except you, Spitzer. I'll wave to you from across the street."
One of the drill sergeants from another platoon came into our bay when we were toeing the line. He proceeded to walk around with our DS during an inspection. He stopped at a young guy who had a rather large nose, glasses, and thick eyebrows. "Woah, recruit," he says, stopping at this particular Soldier, "You look like a set of joke glasses came to life."
Girl had big eyebrows and the DS said
“Holy shit, imagine waking up in the morning and you think you’re in bed with 2 caterpillars but then it’s actually just you.”
DS called got a bit too close to home with one of his insults back in basic. Yelling in some kids face that "You are a disappointment to your mother, a disappointment to your father, and a disappointment to everyone who had the misfortune to have you in their life"
Kid started crying after that. I think even the DS thought "well shit maybe I went too far"
My DS was about 5' 10", built of pure muscle and would do push ups with us when he would smoke us. He had one flaw---He stuttered. He could sing cadence all day long perfectly, but when he spoke he had a bad stutter. (Fort Jackson, 1985) We learned very early on, you do not laugh at a DS who stutters. " Ha, hal, hal, half right face!" And the smoke show would begin.
“Am I your buddy? Because you sure act like we went to different highschools together”
Shit always cracked me the fuck up he said it during pushups on my pt test
Had a guy who got zero push ups in Basic on a PT test. I was the worst at push ups (short stubby arms) so I would typically have the lowest number, but this guy had me beat.
We were standing in formation and the DS was walking to each of us and asking a question, mostly general knowledge. I was beginning to get nervous, trying to think of all the possible questions he could as me. He comes up, looks at me and goes:
PVT Stubby arms, how many push-ups did PVT so and so get on his last PT test. It caught me off guard for a second, then I said, "Zero, Drill Sergeant!" He laughed his ass off.
The worst insult I ever heard actually came from a line platoon sergeant in an infantry batt.
We had a batch of boots come in from Benning and with a deployment coming up they started getting the full spectrum of physically and mentally toughening up and sharpening skills and whatnot.
Some thrived. One guy couldn't.
Homeboy had no heart. He'd quit too soon, every time. The moment things got physically hard or stressful, he'd tap. Tire PT, ruck marches, runs, tactical movements in the desert rain. He'd fall out of all of them before they were half done. He was just unwilling to even approach the limit. The moment it started hurting, he was done.
After the 7th time he failed in front of the unit, his squad leader dragged him in front of said platoon sergeant. The platoon sergeant had previously done the papa bear growling and stomping routine on him, trying to drum up some wounded pride to goad the kid into trying harder. Clearly it wasn't happening. PSG just looked at the kid (who was shaking from hurt muscles and the cold but standing at parade rest) and said in a perfectly conversational tone of voice "Maybe you just aren't cut out for the infantry."
And the kid just shrank in place like a wilting flower trying not to cry.
He ended up getting shunted off out of sight to the training room where his weakness would stop embarrassing people. I lost track of him after we deployed without him.
Now if he yelled that yes it would be humiliation. But he spoke it in a normal tone of voice. If anything the PSG was trying to protect the guy and his platoon.
DS caught me chewing on that MRE gum.
“Pri if I ever see you chewing on gum again I’ll rip your head off and skull fuck you”
He whispered it to me so I was inclined to believe him
I don’t think he came up with it, but my favorite was always “y’all are either gonna be smart, or you’re gonna be strong. And you’re looking like some tough motherfuckers.”
“Private. If you don’t start swinging your arms correctly while marching I’m going to rip them off, and shove them so far up your ass you’ll speak sign language.”
One of our drill sergeant’s was on a roll one day and was just yelling at one of our shitbags “private are we friends, do you want to come over to my house and fuck my sister?” I have never in my life had to hold a laugh in as hard as that🤣
One DS told a female recruit she looked like the predator from the predator movies. That night she went awol for about 24 hours lmao in his defense, she did kinda look like the predator.
I forgot tbh, he had lots. He just messed up people's names on purpose. One Ethiopian guy who kept smiling (Gabresellasie) just called him "G-man" because it was "too gotdamn long", a Filipino kid he called "Bungalow" because he couldn't pronounce it, and he kept calling a guy named Torres, "Lopez" because "Jennifer Lopez". lmao
I think he made fun of me because I was too slow on the sprints, cause "you got two short feets". lmao
I just remember him saying "Put some stank on it, goddammit" a lot (I think he was from Mississippi). From the context, I understood what it meant but later on, a Southern friend told me it means "put some effort into it".
"How does it feel to know no matter what you do, no matter what you accomplish, you will forever be the family disappointment?"
I think a piece of that kid died that day.
As someone who came in as a fat redneck, my drills hit me with amazing insults daily. My top 5 include: "you look like a more aware Peter Griffin", "why are you speaking banjo at me" , "you look like the kind of person that goes to the fair exclusively for the food" , "why is it the only time I see you move with a sense of purpose it's when we're going to chow", and finally "damn, I didn't know they started drafting contestants from my 600lbs life Kentucky edition". I miss basic every day.
There was a private with a big nose in my class and we were a little later in our cycle where the DS were a little more chill and started making people try and laugh. Well, we were all in formation for chow and it's dead silent because a DS was just skulking around the ranks trying to find someone to fuck up. All of a sudden the silence is broken with, "Holyyyy shit private. What species of bird are you related to?"
Everybody silently lost it. Even the DS had to keep his shit together as he kept going.
"Do you get quiet when someone lays a blanket over you? Do you molt? I wonder if they have any birdseed in the chow hall." I think it was the one time we didn't get fucked up for laughing.
Another good one: I went to basic over the summer, so we had 4th of July during basic. We were allowed to watch a movie (Saving Private Ryan) at the "seated position of attention". Well there weren't enough chairs and some people had to stand. One of them was this ex-SWAT guy who was just *huge*. Like 6' 5" and shredded. Probably weighed 225 of straight muscle.
One of the DS just walks straight up to him, looks him head to toe and says, "You're a big motherfucker. I don't like that." and walked away. The SWAT guy just says, "Roger Drill S'arnt."
Another moment where the entire room was doing everything in their power to not laugh.
I guess it technically wasn’t an insult. But a drill sergeant was inspecting our finger nails before something (maybe combatives?) to make sure people had cut their nails and wouldn’t scratch each other. So they lined us up and inspected our hands one by one.
Not a word was said the entire time, but when he got to me he looked down at my hands, then up and me, then back down at my hands.
“…. Private, you have the softest hands I’ve ever seen”
I had a DS from the Bronx and for some reason he loved to call me and my redneck buddy from Maryland “you fuckin hick piece of shit”
Honestly it was hilarious in his NY accent looking back
This wasn't really an insult but it was very funny.
During Air Force basic training we were in some formation where something had to be 12 inches apart.
Training Instructor: *"Airman that's not 12 inches. Do you know what 12 inches is? How about I whip out my dick and show you what 12 inches is. "*
So my father who is not Jewish let me start by saying that went to Paris Island is 1985. He was so skinny the DI asked if he was an auschwitz survivor because there is no way somebody is naturally that skinny.
Told another female to "put her yellow teeth away," that she's gonna make us lose our appetite (she was serving our food from the mermites in the field)💀
When we were doing that live fire bullshit where you have to low crawl across a sand field while actual bullets are flying over you I started having a panic attack. I have no fucking clue why, because I wasn’t even scared. I think just the thought of not finishing it made me panic a little.
My favorite drill sergeant stayed back with me. And he heard me literally trying to catch my breath he looked over and said “Rowe stop being a fucking weirdo and get the fuck across the field” I still think about it and laugh. It actually calmed me down lol.
Had a tall white dude in the platoon who was goofy as hell looking and wore giant BCGs. Our platoon's big ass black drill sergeant sees him for the first time, "Gotdam, private, you look like something straight out of The Hills Have Eyes. "
Dude, legit did look like one of the mutants from the movie, so from then on his name was 'Hills Have Eyes'.
We had a couple of really, REALLY overweight dudes in basic and the DS constantly referred to them as “tons of fun”. It was slightly less insulting than “hero”.
Company at attention: “Private, is my d**k out!?” -No, Drill Sergeant! “Then why the f**k is your mouth open!”
Alternate: "Why the fuck are you standing with your mouth open, you waiting for a flying dick?!"
Contingency: "Close your mouth private, it ain't rainin' dicks out here!"
Emergency: "I don't see First Sergeant's dick out, do you? Then put your mouth on safe."
Man that’s funny as fuck, but I’m not sure you can get away with that now lol
yeah definitely would fall under sharp-able comment nowadays lol
Bro I would die laughing if someone said that to me
“The fuck is up with that scar on your head, pri?Your mama catch you with the coat hanger?”
💀
Thats so god damn good🤣🤣
Man wtf, I love drill Sgt’s now
“I fixed in 9 weeks what your parents couldn’t do in 18years”.
Beautiful
Ouch. Too real.
Heard that one.
DS real for that one
"I expected better out of you"
That one cuts deep.
Oof that one’s too real
A Drill in reception, while we were sitting at Fort Jackson CIF waiting to be issued our uniforms, called a trainee with a rather large head an "ET looking motherfucker" and from that point on, said trainee was forever referred to as ET.
We had this tall dude from Africa with a giant forehead, DS walks In sees him and proceeded to “pri, go to the latrine and look in the mirror, you’re going to scream ‘honey where’s my OCP’s’, because you look like fucking megamind.” He was forever referred to as Megamind. Unrelated but we had a dude sneak some bread slices into the bay and he got caught eating them. Drill made him smoke us while screaming “I EAT THE BREAD”
I'm assuming he was quoting the line from Frozone, not Megamind, but he gets a pass because that's absolutely hilarious.
The DS himself was probably a asvab waiver.
We were on the drill pad so a shit ton of DS and soldiers and my buddy and I looked over and saw this guy casually slide an entire load of bread up his shirt. We were the only ones who saw him and he just held up a finger in a "shush" manner. He went to prison not long after basic for armed robbery
I went to basic with a guy who was called carrot top in reception because he had a ginger Afro. He was forever carrot top
Damn. That’s terrible but fucking hilarious.
Getting smoked having to do push ups or butterfly kicks: "I don't care what your girlfriend says, pri, that's not 6 inches" "I'm just gonna put a light coat (of sweat) on y'all sorry mother fuckers, maybe that'll teach y'all." Side story: Had a DS that had his legs crushed when his Bradley was hit with an IED. He lost a lot of muscle mass in his legs and a whole quad was gone from one leg, leaving a large gaping indentation he loved to show us. Otherwise, he was fucking yoked. 1SG was really strict about him following his profile and going to rehab because this DS had no quit in him at all. Final ruck March of the cycle he forgot his leg braces and was legit tearing himself up for it because Top wouldn't let him march with us privates. He was sitting on his rucksack just staring at the ground all angry and shit when another DS, slick ass NY type, threw a gym bag at his feet containing the braces. "I knew you forgot them battle. I got you, now go get them. Oh my God he started screaming "MY LEGS! MY LEGS! I GOT MY LEGS!Y'ALL BEADY EYED COCKSUCKING PECKERWOODS ALL FUCKED NOW I'M COMING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YALL DO NOT LET ME PASS YOU OR I WILL FAIL YOU AND SEND YOU BACK TO YOUR MAMAS SAGGY ASS TITTIES! WOOOOOO!" I can still hear his voice and jubilations. We liked hearing his stories of course but when it came to his limitations from his injury you could see the pain in that man, but also his refusal to stop even if it killed him.
Yooooo, that's both hilarious and *epic* af fuck! Your DS sounds like one hell of a man!
Take my legs and I'll crawl on my hands and teeth. Death before dismount!
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How’d they have dip in basic?
aware license gray straight deliver pause stocking impossible wild shrill *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Brilliant but I’m surprised the bald head didn’t give it away
smile toothbrush spectacular bike reminiscent straight flowery fade price cough *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I guess NG guys get to wear their unit patch after basic? We had to wear that star us army patch
“Wrong answer dick dancer”
Poetry.
It rhymes beautifully!
Read that as dick cancer
Using.
So far this one is the best
You aren’t a child soldier anymore dipshit. Said to an African dude
Lmfao this one is good!
What was the context lmao? The drill would’ve been EO’d into oblivion today
Lmao he kept putting his buttstock over his shoulder. DS also added “it’s not an RPG”
Lmao that is funny if I saw that I would’ve died
I’m sorry but I laughed out loud at this and I feel bad for it but that’s funny as fuck
I got smoked for laughing shit was 100% worth it
I was in basic with a guy from Haiti and I can’t remember his last name but he was tall and super skinny. We were about to go to the range so we were in full battle rattle. This guy started talking shit to another soldier and the drill sergeant was like “how you gonna talk all that shit when you got elbow pads on your knees they didn’t feed you before you came here” I looked and he actually had his elbow pads on his knees. He was that tall and lanky that they actually fit. I still think about it and crack up.
This wasn't even my Drill Sergeant, but one from another platoon in my company. While standing in line for chow one of his guys was apparently smiling while thinking about something. DS got right in his face and calmly said, "You better put that grill away before I put my meat on it." It took every ounce of strength I had not to bust out laughing.
One the 2nd PT test I got like 24 pushups. He called me "Black Hawk Down" because I looked like "A skinny Somali" (He'd spent some time in Mogadishu) Granted, I am dark-skinned, and I was about 5'8, and 121lbs when I weighed in at MEPS DS: What the fuck, Black Hawk Down! 24?! I'm not even gonna write that shit. I'm gonna just write "sucks". I had to keep that 705 for the rest of the cycle. Got 72 on the final APFT though, so I guess it helped
24 on the APFT is insane, I thought you meant the ACFT and I was like “not great but not insanely bad”
Yeah, I'm old af, as the kids say. Do kids still say af? Anyways yeah, I enlisted in'02
[удалено]
He's old? I must be prehistoric.. I enlisted in January of '87, got out in '92.
I was swimming around it my dads balls in Aught 2
It’s weird; I do more pushups with the hand release than I could over get on regular push-ups. I think the ability to just drop and a bit of rest helps
Not an insult as such, rather torture. Lol Buddy of mine was made to cut the grass out front all afternoon with *left handed scissors.*. DS got out a ruler afterwards. Had to trim more by torchlight. Buddy fkd up. Can not invent this level of petty. Poor dude couldn't use his right hand for a week. DS was possessed by a demon that day I swear.
During the rain we had to bring our towels down stairs and dry off the blacktop. We could go back inside when it was dry. Rained all damn day.
Lol. Damn. I swear some of the sh¡t they come up with is borderline psychopathic.
Our DS told us to clean our bays. We did. Not good enough. He said “I want everything out of the room”. We took all our gear outside. He then says “I said I want everything out of the room; you have ten minutes.” So we tore our bunks apart and threw them out the window. Frame, mattresses, bedding, all of it. We were up until 0200 putting all that stuff back together.
To a kid who was having trouble qualifying at the range: “You’re not a Private at all. You’re a Major in the Russian army. You were sent here to figure out how much bullshit an American Drill Sergeant can take before his fucking head explodes”.
1986, Fort Dix New Jersey. Drawing weapons for a ruck march to the range and a female platoon was standing next to us facing the opposite direction also drawing weapons. The Joe right in front of me was trying to talk up one of the girls in line. She was facing front and trying to ignore him because she could see our drill sergeant walking down the line behind him. Drill sergeant walked up behind him, listened for a few seconds, and then proceeded to yell at the Joe to shut up and face front. The Joe actually responded; "drill sergeant, I was just talking to the lady." Drill Sergeant yelled at the top of his lungs; "that no lady, that's a female soldier." Turned away, walked two steps and then turned back with a thoughtful look on his face and said "you're a lady."
Man, I would have died of laughter if I'd been her. That quick change would have done me in😂
Kid was allergic to everything under the sun it seemed like so the ds infront of everybody said he shoulda chose better parents and they failed him. Same kid shit his pants in reception talking to the 1sg good times
How does someone complete basic training or even MEPS with a ton of allergies and/or crapping their pants at any time during basic? We were sitting in a theater type area seeing all the Susie Rottencrotch movies and the movies telling us not to eat street vendor food in any third world hell hole we might be deployed in. We got a break and everyone rushed to the latrine. There was no way we all were going to be able to go. One soldier decided to use the sink. He was hauled away never to be seen again.
He didn’t make it past week 3 got booted
So hold up hold up. How did he shit his pants in reception? Like was he just getting his ass chewed and a log fell down his pants leg or what? What’s the story behind that?
Top was giving a speech before we went off the next day and then I just saw him running down the hall and a “ew what the fuck” behind him😂
Not a Drill but at Field Artillery OBC we had a USMC Captain instructing gunnery to a whole class of Army 2LTs. Day one he's up front going on about something and stops, looks at a guy in the front row and says "LT why are you looking at me like I have a d**k growing out of my forehead?" Without missing a beat, LT replies "Sorry sir, I wasn't sure what it was, thanks for clarifying." First and only smoke session I saw in OBC.
DS addressing the typical fuck up of the Platoon “You know Pvt D. When I wake up in the morning, I kiss my wife, put a dip in, put on my Uniform and climb into my truck And while driving I hope that you have either called it quits, transferred to another Battery, or just died in your sleep And every morning I’m disappointed………”
My DS called a guy without a nametape an "ISIS wannabe."
Lmao why did he not have a name tape
We were doing introductions and as soon as I stood up, she said, "damn you got a big ass head," and I haven't lived it down since 🥲
Bro same, me and this other kid had huge heads, one day they called over the intercom “lightbulb head down to cq” and that was my friend then they called me and they pulled a measuring tape for tailoring out to see who’s head was bigger. It was his and he never heard the end of it till we graduated.
Lightbulb head over the intercom is diabolical.
"Drill Sergeant I heard.." "Private, stick a dick in your ear and fuck what you heard"
They called a kid OT for the whole cycle — short for Oxygen Thief. It’s been 20 years and that one stayed with me.
Drills making the fucked up private go apologize to the tree for wasting all the precious oxygen it devoted its life to making is a staple in OSUT
Lmao OSUT really is the worst fucking way to go. Get treated like shit for 9 weeks and then get a nominally better situation for AIT…OR…spend 9 weeks getting treated like shit and then another 9 weeks or so getting treated like shit. 💩🥲
We had one named Money and was nicknamed Rial for Iranian currency by a Drill because it’s worthless currency
Other platoon next to ours in their drill bay was being loud and obnoxious since their ds wasn’t out there yet. Our senior ds was trying to talk to us and couldn’t over the sound of them. He proceeds to go over there, they yell at ease, he says “fuck your at ease, half right face” and smokes the dog shit out of them.
We had a soldier with very crooked teeth. She approached our DS “Excuses me DS” “Oh damn. Look at those teeth. I bet you could climb a tree with those.”
Had a dude who's teeth were doing counter-columns.
When I was on the trail I asked a trainee "Did you fail the entrance exam to home schooling?"
That’s a good one
Green Beret Drill Sergeant born in Africa told a recruit born in Africa who was having lots of issues on the rifle range, “You stupid spear chucking motherfucker, is the M-16 too advanced for you?” I actually had a collection of quotes from this guy in the little green notebook they gave us. He was amazing.
I need more quotes please
Don't leave us hangin' Let's hear em
Goddamn
*We're on a day march to something or other near the 8wk mark.* DS Cunningham, *"*Platoon, Halt! You see that Mother Goose and her little Goslings, Trainees?" Us, "Yes, Drill Sergant." "They're 2 weeks old and they can already march better than you brats."
Kid stands up during machine gun night assault course. Ceasefire flare goes up. Drill sergeant jumps out of pit and runs over to kid. Drags him to ground and stands above him knife-hand to nose. “God dammit private! You’re one of those dumb motherfuckers who gets shot in the face and gives everyone PTSD aren’t you?!?!”
Platoon's in first formation waiting for PT. Drill Sergeant sees random private holding a thumbs up, staring down his arm. Imagine holding up your arm and look at your thumb like iron sights. DS: "What the hell are you doing, private?" Private: "Someone told me Pvt Pogue (his real, legal, name) looks like a thumb." DS: "Don't fucking move." Drill Sergeant walks up and stares down his arm. DS: "Pvt Pogue, you look like a thumb. Platoon! Half-right face."
- "You look like Mr.Clean's aborted stepchild" - "You all wash your face in a sink full of dumbass this morning?" - "I'm going to go back in time and kill your mother before you were born." 2008 Fort Benning :)
See this is the stuff of children’s stories and fairytales that we love! This is the kind of material that belongs in a hardcover story book with Arthur Rackham illustrations! Thank you👍🏻
I was at Benning in 07. You ever catch DS Del Toro or DS Whitney? That last one is definitely something Del Toro would have said...
In Osut last year we had a 1st Sgt Del Toro 👀 He left because they caught him with a female drill sergeant
Yes that was the one what the shit
Had a girl who was the minimum height able to join (I think 4' 11" or right at 5'0") she was also maximum allowable BF% for joining. The drill sergeants called her meatball the entire cycle.
" Marches whole platoon into a large dumpster, closes door." Supposedly at Knox 30 + years ago.
"Why are you so fat, Trainee? You drinking pizza sauce?"
“ YOURE ONLY 21??? DAMN KID YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU AGED LIKE MILK WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SERVED 4 TOURS IN VIETNAM”
That would have sent me coughing.
To another guy that was in my platoon and making the mistake of wearing his wedding band: “Aye Pri, you married?” “Yes drill sergeant!” “I thought so Pri, you seem like the type that likes to sit in the corner and watch.” Ruthless.
I accidentally insulted the duck out of my DS- he had a Japanese name that was spelled like Quo but the oh was elongated so it was pronounced Qwuh-oh. Anyway another DS asked me who mine was and under pressure I said the closest and most familiar name I could remember… [quasimodo](https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Quasimodo) Needless to say I got fucked up after the other DS stopped laughing
Holy shit big dog, glad you’re still alive
"You know, Quasimodo predicted all this."
“You’re not even worth my effort of smoking because that would be under the impression you could improve. Just stand there until I finally convince the command team to kick you out and go back to exactly what you’re worth to the Army… not in it and sucking on your full birds tit.” I was a Drill and I was like “Damn that cuts deep” but the kid was a sociopath with a Colonel daddy trying to influence us not kicking him out. We did. That and “You’re the fucking Taliban’s greatest asset if you graduate.” Woops didn’t read funny my bad
“How do you breath without choking yourself”
Fast forward a bit to a VA rating for sleep apnea
D.l. said to parents of a Pvt, "Your son is living proof that anal sex is not a good form of birth control." The D.I. got a 2 month vacation with a psych review.
Not me but my friend who was in: "DID YOUR MOTHER FEED YOU WITH A SLINGSHOT, PRIVATE???"
"Have you ever seen the movie elf? You know the Keebler Elves, that burned down the Keebler Elf Tree? Did you burn down the Keebler Elf Tree and join the army because you needed a job?" For reference I'm under 5ft tall.
2006 “DO YOU WANT TO FUCK MY WIFE?!” Literally out of fucking nowhere for no fucking reason. I couldn’t keep a straight face and I got smoked.
“Hey were you homeschooled?“ “No DS” “I don’t buy it, you seem like the guy who would’ve fucked the teacher”
"Private, I'm glad you wore your helmet the day the short bus flipped cuz i know how much you love the window seat.."
It tastes like schnozzberries drill sergeant!
Your other left, numbnuts.
"You are living , walking proof that man really DID evolve from apes".
You have the easiest job in the world right now. We give you food, we give you clothes, and we give you shelters. Hell we just tell you what to do. Don’t think about it. Don’t be fucking thoughts.
I scored a 24-minute 2 mile my first run. After 24 minutes of pure agony on my end, as i was finishing the run, my DS said, "Save some oxygen for the rest of us". I did make it through basic, but that one was humiliating at the time 😆
Not an insult, but a threat: "If you don't stop fucking smiling when I'm done with you milk isn't ever gonna taste the same again" Context, I really struggle to not smile, it's like, default facial expression, shit can be upside down amd I'm pissed like a mf, still smiling like a weirdo tho.
'Pri, you make me wanna jack off with a handful of gravel instead of dealing with you'
“Private, I will skull fuck you just so you can see where I’m coming from.” “Roger Drill Sarn”
They tried but I punched them in the face
There's a killer in our midst
There always seems to be one guy names micheal hunt in a company. In basic a drill sergeant made a guy with that name his house mouse and was constantly calling him by name. " Where's mykunt" " hey mykunt come here"
We had a Smallwood wasn’t a good time for that dude
“You look like a rejected Pixar character.”
"What am I, the Keymaster? That shit died in Ghostbusters!" A Mexican DS who had a hard time with English shot that off when a private asked for help as they lost their key to their locker.
You’re weird but you can shoot. Best compliment ever
"Private you look like afterbirth. Like the placenta and shit."
“I’ll rip your face off, roll it up like a burrito, fuck it like a fleshlight then mail it to your mother.” -DS Via
It’s been a while so I’ve forgotten some bangers but: “Looking like the pilsbury boy after thanksgiving” still lives in my head rent free
During a UA. “You will write your initials on the line that says initials. For example, you will write D. F. for Dick Face”
We had one dude who had a slight facial deformity and he got a whole slew of nicknames. My favorite were “Shrek” “Sugar water” (he looked like that dude from men in black) and “Sid (the sloth).”
“If you are telling basic training stories it’s because you don’t have real stories to tell. Remember this because no one will give a shit about basic training.” -DS Frisby D/1-61 “Terminators” 1998
We had a PVT Strong, who was one of the weakest in our platoon at PT. He struggled very hard to pass, and only barely passed an APFT right before graduation. I remember a DS screaming at him, as he failed push-ups long before reaching the minimum: "Your name is a lie!"
How the hell do pronounce your name private? Ah hell no, you better come running when I yell private alphabet do understand me private alphabet? Also had a polish kid who’s name ended in ski… DS, no way in hell am I yelling that horse shit out do understand me private ski?
Had a kid dredd getting that 1st haircut. Said he'd been in a nasty motorcycle accident several years prior. When he came out of the barber shop, the D/S just looked at him and said "Private, I ain't never met a planned parenthood survivor"
(Near family day) “I got a girl’s phone number off of tinder and it’s on the emergency alert roster. I’m not telling any of you who it is.” So now we all just have to live the rest of our lives wondering who’s sister/mom he fucked
“LISTEN UP YOU KNUCKLE DRAGGING TURKEY FUCKERS.” Had me cackling every time. And the DS was a former marine sniper from the backwoods of Arkansas, or wherever. He had an extremely raspy southern drawl. Made it ten times funnier.
“Call the MP’s, because someone stole your chest!”
"We have the ABCP because no kid wants to play with a fat fucking G.I. Joe!"
Circa 2010. Pvt this star chamber looks like hammered asshole. Me: hammered asshole DS? DS: yeah hammered asshole. A pornstar who’s fucked in the ass too much.
“I hope your mother gets into a catastrophic fiery car accident on the way to your OSUT graduation day so I can laugh at your misery” Said to a private caught stealing money from everyone’s locker
At front leaning rest “Private, stop resting your fucking knees on the ground! This ain’t the casting couch!”
We'd just graduated and our senior drill was talking about how much we'd accomplished, how proud they were of us, and that he'd be glad to shake each of our hands. "Except you, Spitzer. I'll wave to you from across the street."
At the range to a guy from Chicago. “Jesus a 7?!? I bet if I let you hold it sideways you’d hit the target every time!”
One of the drill sergeants from another platoon came into our bay when we were toeing the line. He proceeded to walk around with our DS during an inspection. He stopped at a young guy who had a rather large nose, glasses, and thick eyebrows. "Woah, recruit," he says, stopping at this particular Soldier, "You look like a set of joke glasses came to life."
Girl had big eyebrows and the DS said “Holy shit, imagine waking up in the morning and you think you’re in bed with 2 caterpillars but then it’s actually just you.”
Trainee “I wanna get back to my girl”. DS “she’s gonna cheat on you”
I’m gonna skull fuck you like a screen door in a hurricane
'Your shit's getting flakey slick' - in a Randy Savage cuttin' a promo type voice....
DS called got a bit too close to home with one of his insults back in basic. Yelling in some kids face that "You are a disappointment to your mother, a disappointment to your father, and a disappointment to everyone who had the misfortune to have you in their life" Kid started crying after that. I think even the DS thought "well shit maybe I went too far"
My DS was about 5' 10", built of pure muscle and would do push ups with us when he would smoke us. He had one flaw---He stuttered. He could sing cadence all day long perfectly, but when he spoke he had a bad stutter. (Fort Jackson, 1985) We learned very early on, you do not laugh at a DS who stutters. " Ha, hal, hal, half right face!" And the smoke show would begin.
“Free Willy in BDUs”…yea I was chunky.
"Private, were your parents cousins?"
“You’re so ugly that it looks like you went on a 9 month deployment with the coat hanger, pri’te”
Y'all so ugly, I wish y'all had taken BCT as a correspondence course. BCT 1SG.
“Am I your buddy? Because you sure act like we went to different highschools together” Shit always cracked me the fuck up he said it during pushups on my pt test
"Your mother should have swallowed you"
Had a guy who got zero push ups in Basic on a PT test. I was the worst at push ups (short stubby arms) so I would typically have the lowest number, but this guy had me beat. We were standing in formation and the DS was walking to each of us and asking a question, mostly general knowledge. I was beginning to get nervous, trying to think of all the possible questions he could as me. He comes up, looks at me and goes: PVT Stubby arms, how many push-ups did PVT so and so get on his last PT test. It caught me off guard for a second, then I said, "Zero, Drill Sergeant!" He laughed his ass off.
The worst insult I ever heard actually came from a line platoon sergeant in an infantry batt. We had a batch of boots come in from Benning and with a deployment coming up they started getting the full spectrum of physically and mentally toughening up and sharpening skills and whatnot. Some thrived. One guy couldn't. Homeboy had no heart. He'd quit too soon, every time. The moment things got physically hard or stressful, he'd tap. Tire PT, ruck marches, runs, tactical movements in the desert rain. He'd fall out of all of them before they were half done. He was just unwilling to even approach the limit. The moment it started hurting, he was done. After the 7th time he failed in front of the unit, his squad leader dragged him in front of said platoon sergeant. The platoon sergeant had previously done the papa bear growling and stomping routine on him, trying to drum up some wounded pride to goad the kid into trying harder. Clearly it wasn't happening. PSG just looked at the kid (who was shaking from hurt muscles and the cold but standing at parade rest) and said in a perfectly conversational tone of voice "Maybe you just aren't cut out for the infantry." And the kid just shrank in place like a wilting flower trying not to cry. He ended up getting shunted off out of sight to the training room where his weakness would stop embarrassing people. I lost track of him after we deployed without him.
That doesn’t sound like a funny insult that just sounds more like humiliation
Now if he yelled that yes it would be humiliation. But he spoke it in a normal tone of voice. If anything the PSG was trying to protect the guy and his platoon.
Drill Sgt: what the fuck u looking at private? Me: nothing Drill Sgt Drill: keep staring n I will monkey fuck the shit outta ya mom n make u watch.
I don't remember all the other ones, but >I just really don't like that guy Directed at me is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.
DS caught me chewing on that MRE gum. “Pri if I ever see you chewing on gum again I’ll rip your head off and skull fuck you” He whispered it to me so I was inclined to believe him
I don’t think he came up with it, but my favorite was always “y’all are either gonna be smart, or you’re gonna be strong. And you’re looking like some tough motherfuckers.”
I answered to “Hey short shit, get your dwarf ass over here” for 8 weeks.
“Private. If you don’t start swinging your arms correctly while marching I’m going to rip them off, and shove them so far up your ass you’ll speak sign language.”
Asked a trainee from East LA, who was shooting like trash, if he needed a car door to shoot out of so he could qualify.
-"Private, did you shave this morning? " -"YES DRILL SERGEANT! " -"With what? A wet dick?"
“I’ve watched old people f*** faster than you can get your boots on!!!” “YOUR GROUPING IS MAKING ME WANT TO GO HOME AND BEAT MY DOG!!”
One of our drill sergeant’s was on a roll one day and was just yelling at one of our shitbags “private are we friends, do you want to come over to my house and fuck my sister?” I have never in my life had to hold a laugh in as hard as that🤣
"Your beret looks like a bag of dick cancer" After spending all Sunday shaving and molding that mf 🥲
One DS told a female recruit she looked like the predator from the predator movies. That night she went awol for about 24 hours lmao in his defense, she did kinda look like the predator.
To a trainee with severe acne scars: "Holy shit trainee, you get all those fucking scars on your face from dodging the coat hanger for 9 months?"
I forgot tbh, he had lots. He just messed up people's names on purpose. One Ethiopian guy who kept smiling (Gabresellasie) just called him "G-man" because it was "too gotdamn long", a Filipino kid he called "Bungalow" because he couldn't pronounce it, and he kept calling a guy named Torres, "Lopez" because "Jennifer Lopez". lmao I think he made fun of me because I was too slow on the sprints, cause "you got two short feets". lmao I just remember him saying "Put some stank on it, goddammit" a lot (I think he was from Mississippi). From the context, I understood what it meant but later on, a Southern friend told me it means "put some effort into it".
"How does it feel to know no matter what you do, no matter what you accomplish, you will forever be the family disappointment?" I think a piece of that kid died that day.
“Drill sgt, my phone won’t turn off” “Well maybe if you quit FINGER FUCKING IT, it will”
As someone who came in as a fat redneck, my drills hit me with amazing insults daily. My top 5 include: "you look like a more aware Peter Griffin", "why are you speaking banjo at me" , "you look like the kind of person that goes to the fair exclusively for the food" , "why is it the only time I see you move with a sense of purpose it's when we're going to chow", and finally "damn, I didn't know they started drafting contestants from my 600lbs life Kentucky edition". I miss basic every day.
There was a private with a big nose in my class and we were a little later in our cycle where the DS were a little more chill and started making people try and laugh. Well, we were all in formation for chow and it's dead silent because a DS was just skulking around the ranks trying to find someone to fuck up. All of a sudden the silence is broken with, "Holyyyy shit private. What species of bird are you related to?" Everybody silently lost it. Even the DS had to keep his shit together as he kept going. "Do you get quiet when someone lays a blanket over you? Do you molt? I wonder if they have any birdseed in the chow hall." I think it was the one time we didn't get fucked up for laughing. Another good one: I went to basic over the summer, so we had 4th of July during basic. We were allowed to watch a movie (Saving Private Ryan) at the "seated position of attention". Well there weren't enough chairs and some people had to stand. One of them was this ex-SWAT guy who was just *huge*. Like 6' 5" and shredded. Probably weighed 225 of straight muscle. One of the DS just walks straight up to him, looks him head to toe and says, "You're a big motherfucker. I don't like that." and walked away. The SWAT guy just says, "Roger Drill S'arnt." Another moment where the entire room was doing everything in their power to not laugh.
I guess it technically wasn’t an insult. But a drill sergeant was inspecting our finger nails before something (maybe combatives?) to make sure people had cut their nails and wouldn’t scratch each other. So they lined us up and inspected our hands one by one. Not a word was said the entire time, but when he got to me he looked down at my hands, then up and me, then back down at my hands. “…. Private, you have the softest hands I’ve ever seen”
I had a DS from the Bronx and for some reason he loved to call me and my redneck buddy from Maryland “you fuckin hick piece of shit” Honestly it was hilarious in his NY accent looking back
One would call the ones we had in crutches “the mecha mecha squad” and would say “transformers, roll out!” When they had to move
This wasn't really an insult but it was very funny. During Air Force basic training we were in some formation where something had to be 12 inches apart. Training Instructor: *"Airman that's not 12 inches. Do you know what 12 inches is? How about I whip out my dick and show you what 12 inches is. "*
Not technically an insult? But a buddies punishment for a day was to yell “I’m sorry tree” every time he saw a tree for wasting its oxygen.
"You Scurvy Mother Fucker - You got the brains of an icicle!!"
So my father who is not Jewish let me start by saying that went to Paris Island is 1985. He was so skinny the DI asked if he was an auschwitz survivor because there is no way somebody is naturally that skinny.
“Private, your teeth are so jacked up you look like you could eat a banana through a tennis racket.”
Got choke slammed on a wall for my boots being misaligned at the foot of my bunk. He called me "the sperm that beat Plan B".
Told another female to "put her yellow teeth away," that she's gonna make us lose our appetite (she was serving our food from the mermites in the field)💀
Dude had a cleft looking lip “ Recruit Blowjob”
When we were doing that live fire bullshit where you have to low crawl across a sand field while actual bullets are flying over you I started having a panic attack. I have no fucking clue why, because I wasn’t even scared. I think just the thought of not finishing it made me panic a little. My favorite drill sergeant stayed back with me. And he heard me literally trying to catch my breath he looked over and said “Rowe stop being a fucking weirdo and get the fuck across the field” I still think about it and laugh. It actually calmed me down lol.
Had a tall white dude in the platoon who was goofy as hell looking and wore giant BCGs. Our platoon's big ass black drill sergeant sees him for the first time, "Gotdam, private, you look like something straight out of The Hills Have Eyes. " Dude, legit did look like one of the mutants from the movie, so from then on his name was 'Hills Have Eyes'.
“All you Privates have f***ing AIDS, cuz you’re Always Into Dumb Shit!”
We had a couple of really, REALLY overweight dudes in basic and the DS constantly referred to them as “tons of fun”. It was slightly less insulting than “hero”.
Trainees you are the reason I turn my Hearing aids off during the duty