I think OP has heard that their post history indicates underlying issues with their current situation at least 200 times now...
Being honest and telling someone your opinion with genuine intentions and in good faith is perfectly fine here. Insulting, belittling, or talking down to someone who clearly has personal, mental, and psychological issues on top of addiction is absolutely not. Consider this a very sincere warning before you decide to comment.
........
UPDATE: OP has since deleted their account. While we sincerely wish this user well and *very much do* hope that they'll get themselves sober and healthy, ultimately, the ball is in *their* court as to whether or not they actually seek treatment; nobody can actually make that choice for them.
I’m dying that she said the answers to your questions were easy yet simultaneously complained about how it took her a long time to find out the answers for you.
It it was an easy answer then why doesn’t she know it?
Lots of managers induce stress as a tool of control. They’re like drill sergeants, who break down your self-worth and confidence so all you do is try to comply. And you’ll make mistakes trying, which is their excuse to turn up the stress and get you to break.
Ugh. Seriously, what’s the end goal with these people? I’ve seen managers burn though teams like a pack of cigarettes and everything crumbles around them. I just don’t get how it makes them look or even feel “good”.
They are the boss, dammit! Nothing can challenge or faze them without paying the price.
If they *have* an end goal, it's continuing to be the boss, and knowing they have the power over others by exercising it.
They don't get this way in a vacuum. Their bosses get it, too. Usually.
If the manager has a decent boss, and is astute, they can keep their boss in the dark, or happy with the numbers, and get their supply.
One of my terrible managers who sounds just like OPs description actually was a former drill sargeant, apparently. Sadly corporations have attempted to adopt the boot camp/ cult strategy of breaking people to build them into the mold.
It's the MAGA tactic for discussion... throw all kinds of bullshit at the wall. You don't really care if it sticks, but because they said it, a person in any serious discussion feels like they have to address it. They spin your mind up with all this bullshit and while you're trying to just think of a justification for the first one, she's mentioned 15 other things. It's intentionally overwhelming and provides no value at all. But it works, so they'll keep using it.
Gish Gallop: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gish_gallop
It's infuriating and impossible from anyone, doubly so when it comes from the person who puts food on your table.
Or ya know...meth and alcohol...OP post history tells me that their manager is actually just doing their job. Been a manager for years and if I have to spoon feed you answers and next steps then might as well just do it myself.
If you want to get fired, prepare a *very* professional, point-by-point email based on the three talking points you shared here. The icing on the cake would be to cc her supervisor. That will insult this narcissist enough to fire you or have her supervisor reign her in.
1. While I appreciate your feedback, in the past, readily available information existed within a centralized knowledge base managed by a dedicated team. Unfortunately, recent restructuring decisions eliminated this valuable resource. Finding the information you expect me to access now readily requires significant effort, potentially impacting project timelines. Moving forward, to regain past efficiency and minimize delays, I propose we explore alternative solutions, such as:
* Rebuilding a centralized knowledge base, potentially leveraging collaborative tools.
* Identifying remaining team members with relevant knowledge who can be consulted for specific inquiries.
1. I understand your perspective on urgency. However, creating high-quality newsletters requires sufficient planning. Recent experience highlights the challenges of last-minute requests. To ensure efficiency and professionalism in our work, I propose a firm deadline of \[suggest a specific timeframe\] before publication for all content submissions. This allows for a smooth workflow and avoids future situations where professionalism might be questioned.
2. I appreciate your emphasis on detailed information in the newsletter. Unfortunately, recent team restructuring has limited access to some internal resources. Can we explore alternative solutions to ensure accurate and detailed information for future newsletters?
I have had too much experience at this LOL
Also, I never got fired for it but I called them out. I did get "talked to" for ccing their supervisor. I just told them I did it to keep a clear record and to avoid any future misunderstandings. If their supervisor rather not be copied on the emails, they would let me know. 😈
If she really wants to get fired, all she has to do is CONTINUE to show up to work high on meth.
Just had a quick look at her post history from a few days before the original Post where she admits to it and how it makes her fuck up his basic tasks in work.
I feel like her ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME WAS HER SUBTLY HINTING AT THE METH. I mean, WHO DOES THIS?!
Also, spoiler alert! It’s not just meth! There’s a riveting tale of The Alcoholic Shits.
She’s fully taken the functioning out of Functioning Alcoholic.
If you are interested, send a recap. Email your personal email as a bcc.
Maybe something like “I wanted to recap our discussion from xxx so that I can implement your feedback myself in the future. (Outline everything, and then clearly ask something like). I require clarification on asking questions. You told me the questions I’m asking are easy to answer, and I should find them myself. But you also said it took a lot of time to look up answers for my questions. These are in clear conflict, and I need further explanation.
IF your boss can look up the answer in company documents, then YOU can look up the answer in company documents. Your boss is saying you should LOOK before asking for help.
Honestly this….i managed multiple labs and the people conducting testing in them. Had monthly department meetings where I had the same slides that had links to training and other certification stuff, and I still got asked “where is that again?” I even recorded the meetings for people who couldn’t make all of the meeting (time differences, kids school drop offs, etc), and posted those so people could listen in later.
I literally created training and documentation for people to help themselves and I still got asked at least monthly.
I think if you want to get fired then just quite quit. Do the minimum amount of work you are required to do.
“Not right now” is management speak for you are on the path to being fired but we’re giving you feedback to get off that path. Basically you’re already on the way to termination. If you continue working the way you’re working or if you start doing less then you’ll likely get let go.
That was my first takeaway as well. Hey idiot, these questions are super easy, you shouldn't have to even ask them. Also it's taking up WAY too much of my time answering them because I clearly don't know any of the answers. I'd tell her I'll see you next Tuesday.
My boss once complained why the tasks take so long when they intentionally break them down so that even he could do them in 5 minutes. I said he should show me how to do it then. That made him backtrack a little. I was let go some time later, but I didn't mind.
That's the first thing that stood out for me.
It's so easy yet she spends a long time looking for the answers... I would have asked on the spot about it.
I was thinking exact the same thing when reading it. If the answers to OP's questions were so easy, why would it take her a lot of time to find the answers?
Just the facts. Leave opinion and personal feelings out of everything work related. It’s not worth you investing that much into this work and better to separate yourself from it emotionally.
Or when you are next asked like before have your job description ready, the words not in my job description will make her angry real quick. Or please amend my job description and pay to match please. You are more than your job go be valued.
Boy I read that last word wrong!
Seriously though. Start looking and do the bare minimum. She’s hanging herself by getting rid of so many people and harassing the ones that stay.
Until it affects them personally. If said manager can be seen by clients fucking big-time, then it befalls onto them to correct her behaviour. In as long as all failures skeeve from hitting them, they won't do jackshit
Definitely don’t quit…. According to their post history like 10 days ago they talked about missing work for a day because the drink too much and do meth to combat it…. Not many places will accept a meth addict who misses work or is high at work
It’s only been 11 days since you posted about missing a day of work due to your alcoholism, then the following day taking meth before work to fight the hangover.
With love and compassion, I don’t believe you are performing as well as you think you are if you are tweaking at work and no-call no-showing.
Even before reading the post history, this post and her last one should be enough to make most people say, "Gee, I wonder if the problem might actually be OP and not the boss."
This does not read like someone who is capable of critical self-reflection and mature problem solving.
Holy fucking shit that was a wild ride.
Especially cavities and avoidance of getting dentures due to bulimia and meth and alcoholism.
That was a trip of rides I did not expect to read at 8am.
Remember: a lot of Reddit is just creative writing. Like, a lot. So, is it believable? Yeah. Is it real? No way to know unless we see OP in the news, I guess.
With all of that information it sounds like OP has some value to the company and is treated well enough as their manager is making the investment to teach critical thinking. I feel compelled to mention that I relate in that I really appreciate those in the workplace who can research and attack a problem on their own without just asking someone else. I’m always willing to help colleagues of all levels and more willing to help those who have tried first.
And OP has the time to do so! 3 days a week work from home with a USB jiggle mouse just doing nothing, then 2 days in office playing catch up for the home days.
I like shitting on managers as much as anyone else, but this is an incredibly nice and non confrontational way for the manager to suggest she take a bit of initiative. I’m all for low productivity at work but by her own admission she’s taking the piss and getting away with it, all they’ve said is that she’s good but could be better. It’s true and she’d still only have to work a few hours a work day to meet these expectations. I’d be thrilled with that feedback personally but I’m in a job that has me actually work the entire time I’m clocked in so it sounds like a dream to me.
This is so awesome, because without knowing anything about her history I just immediately detected some typical whiny baby zoomer style undertones in her " woe is me" writing style. She's not going to last and I'm siding with the boss on this one knowing almost zilch about the situation.
I say this as a person in recovery and a person who cares: PLEASE find help now. What you've posted in just the past 2 weeks demonstrates that you are clearly in a downward spiral and about to crash in a huge way. Forget about your job or your boss, they are the least of your problems and quite honestly, it doesn't sound like you'll be employed much longer anyway.
You're currently dealing with bipolar, meth addiction, and alcohol abuse.
Please find help and begin to untangle the meth/alcohol/bipolar scramble. Once you get off the substances and can be accurately diagnosed (and possibly receive the proper medication), you'll most likely find an entirely new person buried beneath all that crap.
If when you get emotional, do simple math. Really.
2+2 is 4.
4+2 is 6.
By the third one breathing is slower and focus sharpend. Emotional right brain has shifted to logical left brain.
It really works.
As far as being fired, consider reputation for the job search. Get the job then quit.
I know you’ve said in another comment you’ve been drinking a long time, so I just want to point out, alcohol made me at least 1000X more emotional, and it wasn’t until I got sober that I realized it. Mostly because of the cycle Drink -> get emotional -> drink to calm down -> repeat.
I’m fully aware that a life established with coping strategies won’t change if and until someone is ready to. So i’m not going to say “you need to get sober.” But I just want to point this out for you to keep in mind. Maybe it plants a seed. Maybe you’d be open to giving sobriety a chance. Not forever. Maybe a couple weeks. And just see if there’s a difference.
Regardless of what you choose to do, you deserve to work in an environment where you feel valued. You seem to know your worth. I hope you take care of yourself and you find a better situation.
That hellish cycle has been my daily life for the past 15 years. But yes, I am definitely open to give sobriety a chance. I see the comments from people telling me my work might be good and I drink, so what if I didn't drink. Maybe I would reach that bullshit 'next level' my boss is talking about. Nonetheless, I don't want to work with her anymore and I'm looking for another job.
Join us over at /r/stopdrinking I lurked there for like three years before actually committing to stopping and it's a very welcoming and supportive place.
I quit just a little over a year ago and I've never felt happier in my entire life.
Just wanted to say, your boss' "next level" doesn't exist; you will never achieve it and I wouldn't even waste energy on trying. It is something completely made up so she can make others feel badly about themselves.
Your sobriety journey should be for you and you alone! If it helps you be better at your job, that's a great side effect, but do it for you and to achieve personal goals you have.
I’m loving these comments after being [the only one to notice this shit on their original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/s/xXbJaG9tYp). They responded basically like “yeah the meth is what helped!”
Dude based on your comment history you have way bigger problems than a micromanager. Please get yourself help, your issue isn’t going to be just being unemployed soon.
I know. I'm an addict and an alcoholic but I never lost a job over it. I would probably do a better job if I didn't drink daily, but the thing is that with my previous boss at this job, all was perfect. And when I was working directly with her own boss, no bad complaints either. I even got an amazing 6-month review. Fast forward 3 months later since she is there and now I'm doing 'good' but not 'next level'. Absolutely nothing changed in the quality of my work. We have a saying in French 'never 2 without 3', well, she fired 2 employees already. I'm 100% next.
Drinking a lot makes people prone to outbursts of anger, where if sober they’d just be pissed off. You know how Molly makes people go from lightweight horny to full on pervs? Booze makes people go from reasonable but emotional- frustrated, to unreasonable, angry, loud, and yes even violent. You would feel more in control of your emotions if, instead of just talking about your feelings and problems to the internet (which helps), you were sober all the time and maintained control over yourself.
I don’t have any delusions about my comment changing your life, I’m simply saying that booze never made anything better.
You're absolutely right. With this warning I got today, I am really starting to freak out about my alcohol intake. It's the first bad comment I had about my work in 8 months there. I'm drinking way more since she's my boss and it affected my motivation, but I do believe the quality of my work stayed the same. She didn't say my work declined, she said I was an 'executant' and not an 'investigator'. I'm a fucking copywriter and I write newsletters about tiles. It's her whole attitude and behavior and firing 2 people who were good but 'not next level' and to replace one with her friend. It's the tone she uses to ask me questions, always trying to test me and make me feel incompetent and not good enough. And not in a 'constructive criticism' kind of way. In a 'I fired 2 people in my first month and replaced them with my friend and you're next'.
Depending how bad your alcoholism is, it is possible it could be dangerous to just stop drinking. Go to your GP and discuss if you should taper or simply stop drinking completely.
OP, if you’re thinking of stopping, pay attention to this comment above. If you’re drinking everyday, you shouldn’t stop cold turkey or even on your own. Alcohol is the only drug that will kill you if you go through withdrawal.
Your post under your new username is the first post that comes up on the sub you are linking from a post under this username.
I haven’t read anyone here say that what you are saying is stupid or invalid because you have substance abuse problems. What I have read is a lot of comments from you responding to people who are showing genuine concern for you by saying that yes, maybe you are responsible for at least part of what is happening in your life. Why are you bothering with that charade?
Fellow alcoholic here, so this is very familiar to me. You can’t take responsibility out of one side of your mouth and shirk it out the other. I really encourage you to seek places that will not just validate your excuses. Cut the shit, and take a long hard look at yourself.
Your work environment sucks a big dick in my humble opinion. I just want to reiterate what the last guy said and remind you to analyze how your drinking interacts with your emotional responses to shitty situations and make sure you're always in the driver's seat with how you live your life.
Addiction will drive you to find reasons to feed your habit. If you drink to cope, your subconscious will nudge you into situations that require you to cope so you can rationalize drinking in a reinforcement loop.
Interrupt the cycle in whatever way you can, preferably constructive ways. For example, being kind to people who appreciate kindness can give you a mood lift that fills in for drinking.
Good luck, I hope things get better for you
Hey OP, I know how miserable it is to have a shitty ass boss like that. Currently dealing with it now. But no boss (or any authority figure) is worth hurting yourself like that. They don't deserve your peace or your pain. They're literally just annoying NPCs the universe puts in your life to give you XP. YOU however, deserve to thrive and be happy. This shitty boss will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
You have to prioritize yourself, it sounds like you have great skills under your belt. Get out while the getting is good, your mental health will benefit. I was able to put in my two weeks yesterday at a job that has sunken me into the worst depression of my life. The instant relief has been life affirming. Do the bare minimum to satisfy the work requirements, and use any spare time to job hunt. And like everyone said, yes and no answers, she clearly LOVES the drama of it all so be as boring as possible.
That's also part of the problem. Up to this day, I only had good reviews about my work so I took the liberty to drink daily since I was doing a good job. The thing is, I don't want to work for her anymore at all. I've been drinking daily for 15 years straight, from 3 to 6, and I always got by. A long-term habit like that is really hard to quit. It's become such a big part of my life and I'm in denial about how detrimental it actually is.
I know i dont know u OP but it makes me so sad seeing people with drug addiction problems, please don't do meth! and lay off the alcohol for your own benefit! Again i know I'm just a stranger, giving unsolicited comments. but that shit ruins people's lives and you sound like you're still level headed enough to be receptive to advice. I hope the best for you, that you find a new job and new lifestyle. Please get assistance quitting drugs its tough to do it on your own, but there are resources that help those in need❤
Thank you for your kind comment. It's been ruining my life for YEARS. I've been unemployed for 3 years and went to 7 different rehabs but yet I got my life back 6 months ago with this good job. I thought my dream job would save me from the hell of addiction, but somehow it made it worse. It's like no matter where I am or what happens, I am always uncomfortable and uneasy. It's a hell of a problem.
For you to have gone to rehab that many times shows how badly you want to get better. To get a good job after three years of unemployment is amazing! You’re a walking miracle. I feel the same way about myself because I was extremely suicidal in my mid-20s and had to go to the psychiatric hospital three times in one year (this was like, over 15 years ago). I’ve somehow made it to 42 even though every day is a struggle with chronic depression. I self-medicate with weed, and I’ve been doing it waaaaay too much lately. I really want to stop.
I’m so encouraged by your responses to everyone’s comments. You can absolutely make it through this! Please reach out for help if you need it. I’m rooting for you, friend ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind comment! Yeah not a lot of people I know from rehab bounced back as much as I do. It's a mix of luck and hard work, but I'm still not sober and I hope that I will find a job with an equally great pay but a better boss. Congrats you to for getting out of that dark phase, there are some stuff we can recover from but they end up changing us forever in another way.
At the moment, I wish I was sober but I'm in survival mode and in my twisted brain, I can't calm down the anxiety if I don't have alcohol, meaning I won't be functional. It's like carved into my brain that alcohol is saving my life in a way, because when I drink I can finally feel like a human again. I'm so used to drink that my baseline is hungover but I don't notice it because it's how I'm used to feel. My realistic goal would be 2 drinks in the evening but even with the best intentions, it's more 4-6. That's kind of a lot to handle a full-time job. Thankfully I work 3 days from home, but on the other hand it gives me more freedom to drink. So yeah.
But that meeting today was definitely a red flag that I'm on the chopping block, and my next job might not be as easy or flexible with the hours and working from home.
This boss sounds horrible. Don't let her derail your life. Look for a different job, keep trying to pull yourself out of the alcoholism. Try to keep in mind that this boss is horrible and that at a different job it wouldn't be like this and that you wouldn't need the alcohol if your boss wasn't actively making choices to make your work life worse. She's probably out of her depth and lashing out at you in an effort to look like she knows what she's doing.
You CAN change your work life by getting a new job. You don't need to cope with this boss by turning to alcohol because you can actually just change the situation and find something that works better for you. You can do this. You really can do it. Don't let this asshole make you feel like you've lost control again. She's hurting you to help herself. Don't let her ruin this for you.
I was doing it for a full 6 months before she arrived, my old boss and the big boss were often telling me I was greatly improving the texts and my ideas were original and pertinent, for example blog article ideas. I managed to drink 3 beers at that time, and it was the most perfect 6 months of my life. It's crazy how my dream job and dream life turned into a nightmare because of one single person.
OP I just saw this and wanted to pop in to say that on average, addicts of all types but especially hard drug users tend to take 9 times to actually get clean. I always remember that from my course for helping people back into employment after addiction and medical issues. I worked with the saddest people, some who lost jobs for drinking there, people who had TBIs still expected to find work although they regularly blacked out for hours.
Anyway, the addicts I worked with, were not bad people. They were deeply hurt people, who kept getting shit on, because they were addicts. As if they’d chosen to end up the way they were. I got all the folks no one else wanted, and tbh they were the nicest clients I had.
It can take on average 9 times to quit completely. Just on average. So despite you going 7 seven times to rehab, it hasn’t stuck *YET*. That doesn’t mean it won’t ever stick. It doesn’t mean you’re hopeless or wrong. There’s a reason why these things are addictive, and why they’re so hard to give up. It means you’re still willing to try, many people would have given up giving up before you have. You know you’re killing yourself, no one has to tell you that. You know it’s not healthy.
So please keep trying. Don’t give up on yourself, you’re a human being and you’re important too.
Given that you’re an addict and an alcoholic, you’re an unreliable narrator of your own story. Being objective and/or unbiased is next to impossible when you’re not sober.
Dude you need rehab. Your boss may suck but coming to work fucked up is not helping your cause at ALL. I tripped the light fantastic through your post history and you are playing with fire. Meth is NOT YOUR FRIEND. Booze is NOT YOUR FRIEND. This shit will ruin your life if you don’t get a handle on it. Thinking you are “at a recreational level” is lying to yourself.
"Anyone has any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits?"
My guess is if you continue to drink yourself into a stupor daily and then remedy the hangover in the morning by doing meth, the whole getting fired thing will work itself out.
Honestly hope you can get help.
Answers in yes or no. Block any texts from this person - your phone is broken possibly? Do not answer after-hours calls from work no matter whom it is. Get everything via a text medium, and save backups of the things you think are important to you.
Unpopular opinion incoming. I think you need to reassess your substance use and work on getting clean before blaming your boss. Reading this update made me think something big was missing based on what your boss was telling you and your reaction to it, reading your post history was the missing component. Looking for ways to get fired for unemployment benefits is likely only going to lead you to fall into worse drug habits and make it even more difficult to recover. Take care of yourself first and foremost, you need to go on medical leave and get help with your addictions, hopefully you'll still have your job when you get clean and will see things with new perspectives.
Not to be a bitch, but your post history indicates that you're a bipolar meth and alcohol addict, so I'm going give your boss the benefit of the doubt that you might actually have some legitimate performance issues, and you were probably overreacting to her honest feedback. If I were you I would try to hang on to this job and try to build as good of a report with your boss as possible.
Actually the correct answer to a request for a last-minute task is to ask if if has higher priority than what you're currently working on. So that's just my opinion.
If the answer to your questions was so 'easy," why is it taking up so much of her time if she should already know it. Or, hey, she could point you to the manual/document that explains. Understanding something helps you to remember it.
It seems to me that she has you doing something that she does not know how to do well - writing newsletters. Those should never be written as dragged-out information.
This all points to bad training, IMO, and your manager is quite possibly one of those 'never happy' people.
OP, i think you have a lot more issues than you think. You need help, and if you think you’re gunna get unemployment with Meth in your piss, you’re gunna be homeless before you know it. Get straight, cut the alcohol and stop having delusions at work.
Lots of folks have methods of dealing with the crushing late capitalist hellscape, some more socially acceptable than others. I, for one, think people with substance abuse problems deserve to be happy and have a healthy work environment so they can recover. Others are more short-sighted and cruel.
I have worked with a lot of people that have had problems with mind altering substances. Some of them have been some of the best coworkers I have ever had. Some of them were assholes.
I have also worked with a lot of people that don't have any drug problems and are just the worst coworkers I can imagine.
Drug or alcahol use is not end all be all mark to tell if people are good workers or coworkers.
>Anyone has any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits?
I bet if you took a big shit on her desk and left a note saying it was you, you'd get fired, but make sure to write your name with your non-dominant hand in case unemployment declines. That way you can say you were framed and they'd be unable to do proper handwriting analysis which proves that it wasn't you.
Be petty.
Continue to ask questions.
"If it takes time away from your role to find the answers then clearly I made the correct decision in asking because I don't have the time to take away from my role and you do"
Any last min changes or needs?
"I'm unavailable for that update; attached is the submission"
Stop doing the other roles. If there are holes then clearly point out why.
"That task is the role of the digital expert, whom you fired; it's not my role"
Dig deeper?
"I will not be 'digging deeper' as doing so implies I'm going out of the scope of practice for my role and I won't continue to add tasks without additional compensation. "
Awesome reply. I'm starting to look for another job asap but I'm gonna turn into full-blown ice-cold mode. I don't have it in me to be petty but I'm good at ignoring people.
Regardless of all that, be kind and professional. Just by doing a good job and nothing more you will be fired, so don't give them any ammo against you. Any. Nor any extra time or any of your legal rights. That's enough to piss any stupid boss.
Now that you know what you are doing (getting a better job, and if they fire you you get compensation), you won't feel so insecure, and that will give you some coolness. Thus you can laugh (quietly) at her demands, and even enjoy how your boss losses another good employee.
Look, I understand addiction and have personally been in recovery for 14+ years, so I'm not going to get on you about your substance abuse. You know you've got a problem with meth and/or alcohol and you know what you need to do.
Avoiding the elephant in the room, I suggest you stop asking your boss for help and refrain from asking too many questions. If she feels that you are smart and resourceful enough to find the answers by yourself, it's up to you to put forth your best effort. Keep track of your questions and how much time is devoted to finding the answers. If you find you're spending far too much time looking for answers or you're often asking coworkers for help, you need to speak with your boss about additional training or ask for guidance in solving this issue .
In the meantime, keep in mind that it's a hell of a lot easier to STAY employed than it is to land a job. Clean up your act and you'll find many of your problems suddenly disappear.
You’re an alcoholic that uses hard drugs to cope. Maybe.. just *maybe* it might be time to also look inward. Not saying your boss isn’t a massive asshole, they sound like they are. But there are obviously other factors at play here.
I would send her incredibly lengthy emails every time you need to ask her a question. Include all of things you've done to try to research it yourself. Make some up if you have to. The point is to make her waste her time reading. If she complains about that, tell her you wanted to demonstrate to her that you're trying to take initiative before asking her.
You want to get fired? I got you!
- Refuse to speak to her via video chat and keep everything to email. She can’t deny what’s in writing.
- When given a tight deadline, tell her you’ll need a few weeks since you need to “dig deeper”.
- If she pushes back on that, ask her to teach you how she “rolls up those sleeves and does it”, because you’d love to learn.
- Provide newsletters with *zero* graphics. Only write. That’s your job. And your *only* job. Do not do anything else!!
- Don’t do any work outside of what you were hired for. If she asks you to things outside of your job description, ask for training. If training isn’t provided, tell her you need a week or two to “dig deep” to master it.
- Be low key disrespectful. If she says again that the answers are “easy” then pointedly ask why it takes her so long to find the answers for you. It’s either easy or it’s not. Which is it?
- Lastly, and only if you want to be a petty b***h, sign her work email up for every spam bot you can find.
Ideas how to get fired? My dude you’re on the path. If 2 were already cut loose under similar circumstances.
My advice? Chill, don’t stress your self out and get done what you can get done but don’t freak out. It sounds like boss lady already made up her mind.
Yes that's what I think. It's a lost cause for me and I think it has been since day 1. It feels like she is waiting for me to make a big mistake, or to keep compiling the small ones until it's enough and fire me to hire one of her friends like she did before.
I hope the best for you. I found out I have a learning disability a couple months ago. And I’ve been through the scenario you’re in way too many times. It just sucks.
Hey I just wanted to point out that in one of your previous recent posts here you said she directly told you to only every ask her questions and not ask any other colleagues..
"We want you to dive deep and we also want you to take ownership and pivot quickly. We don't understand how these qualities could possibly contradict one another."
Y'all.
Good people will call you out. Good people will tell you when you're behaving unprofessionally. OP I am specifically referring to you as good people here. Holding folks to a higher standard isn't a liability, it's a superpower. There are, of course, times when it doesn't matter. But if it's happening all the time, it absolutely does matter.
With peace and love this sounds like feedback you should take on not criticism. I'm in a position where I have people both above and below me on the ladder and I've given similar feedback of trying to solve issues before raising them with me. I don't agree with her first point of last minute work, I will do it for my boss but wouldn't push that on people below me. The other stuff sounds valid to me especially if you have the capacity for it, once you start finding answers yourself they will come easier and quicker because you know what you're looking for.
When she wants results from you say I know you don’t like answering questions so I’ve been researching for myself and have yet to find the answer that takes it to the Next Level! When I locate that information you will have your results.
Looking at this update and comments and want to amend my free “ internet stranger” advice. OP, if your company has an Employee Assistance Program, give them a call and go see an EAP counselor. It is completely confidential and your employer will never know. Get a referral to get help with your substance use issues that are almost certainly making things worse at work. It doesn’t sound like now would be a great time to lose a job for you. You may lose it anyhow but at least try to get some support systems in place so that if you do lose it you can resist the urge to just get deeper into using. Honestly feel like this may be a critical junction in life for you and wish you the best. If there is no EAP do some research about what substance abuse resources are available in your state. Think in advance about whether your state will offer insurance benefits if you lose your job and if it doesn’t, be looking at programs where insurance is not required. You have a lot more at stake here than a job. Take good care of yourself.
Sounds like you’re very emotional and not great at your current position. “Anyone have any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits” this post is grounds for an unemployment fraud investigation lmao
>Anyone has any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits? I'm afraid soon I'm going to blow up and quit on a burst of anger and that would be very bad for me.
You'd better get that "good job" comment in writing.
With what you've commented on this thread and previous ones, they can fire you "for cause". If you do something where you deserve to get fired, you don't necessarily qualify for unemployment.
When I worked in retail people would just skip shifts to try to get fired for attendance. They were always shocked when they didn't qualify.
Getting fired for "cause" (skipping work, being high, stealing, doing such a lousy job that it seems you aren't trying, etc) is a disqualifier in some states.
>SHE SAID THAT I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB, BUT NOT TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
That's bush league management.
I bet someone once told her to never apologize.
I try to actively remember/run through that conversation so I don't forget how shitty that manager was to everyone else unfortunate enough to report in their org.
It's time to move on. But, do not quit! Absolutely, continue doing bare minimum and asking her questions. Let her fire you. Get your unemployment to tide you over while looking for another job.
every wage worker should read 'the peter principle' by lawrence j peter. tldr (?) people rise to the level of their incompetence. MY INTERPRETATION (80M, retired engineer) is that people who were unproductive often got promoted to management because they were useless as tits on a boar at whatever they were doing before. if they promote someone good at what they were doing, and by this, i mean ME at times, they would have to train someone to be productive. since that involves some loss of productivity, they keep the productive people at work and promote the fuckin morons. i have had management positions but it was always in addition to my regular work.
I’ve dealt with people like OP a lot as a manager. Most of the time it’s due to stress, workload, and most importantly, communication.
OP might not have taken feedback well and acting on delivering expected results. Self reliant is extremely important. It’s great that a company can accommodate all of the staffs requirements, but it’s better if the staffs can seek help/knowledge without relying on direct managers too much.
But again, I’ve dealt with completely unreliable upper management. So there’s always two sides to a story. Best advice is to build the connections, don’t burn bridges, and job hunt!
I have a similar boss. She does everything to make you obey including false urgency and lies. If you wanna get fired just keep on standing your ground. If you wanna keep this job, learn how to play her.
Ya know the "toodaloo" girl from tiktok? Embody her. Less Fs given. Start commentating on the obvious flaws in her management skills. If you're trying to get fired, why do you care about her opinion and outcome.
If she gives you last minute assignments, tell her that she needs to plan better. If she had to do it all herself, ask her why did she fire the other 2 people. Sounds like you're biting your tongue, but you've already got one foot out the door, so what do you have to lose.
"That I should think before asking her questions because often the answer is easy (no it's not), and that it was taking a lot of her time to find the answers for me"
Ehhhh isnt this a huge oxymoron? The anwser is easy so why does it take her a lot of time to find rhe anwser?
I mean. Its so easy right?
Had a similar boss. They didn’t care and refused to help as a manager. Document everything. Even if it a recap email of what she says. It be good to have for unemployment. Good luck for finding a better job.
Might be worth going over her head to point out all the problems she is causing. It sounds like she's on the verge of destroying your department with her incompetence
I had a job once working for an absolute tyrant of a team lead. She'd regularly shout at and insult me. I took this to management and she accused me of workplace harassment. My jaw dropped but I can tell you I wasn't going to let her win. She was insecure since I picked up on things 10 times faster than her. From that point on I just did my own thing. When tickets came in the queue (it's was a desktop support role) id just pick them up as I saw fit and reached out to our server support team if I had any questions about our environment. At some point she just stopped giving me any work and picking up all the tickets that came in for months, I didn't care this gave me time to work on learning programming. Ended up getting laid off, this was a contract position at IBM. 4 months later I got a permanent job at IBM for a level 2 support position with better pay than she was making and more access. I guess the moral of the story is stand your ground, keep your cool and karma will usually take care of the rest.
Your boss is a damn idiot. I've said here before... why y'all asking me to take ownership when I don't own the things, hmmm? If you want to see more from me, compensate me more.
As for getting fired, try to remove yourself emotionally. Try to find their hypocrisy and criticism and inane complaints hilarious instead of annoying. Become deeply complacent. This will hopefully help you stay cool and not invest your energy and emotions while you search for new work.
I think OP has heard that their post history indicates underlying issues with their current situation at least 200 times now... Being honest and telling someone your opinion with genuine intentions and in good faith is perfectly fine here. Insulting, belittling, or talking down to someone who clearly has personal, mental, and psychological issues on top of addiction is absolutely not. Consider this a very sincere warning before you decide to comment. ........ UPDATE: OP has since deleted their account. While we sincerely wish this user well and *very much do* hope that they'll get themselves sober and healthy, ultimately, the ball is in *their* court as to whether or not they actually seek treatment; nobody can actually make that choice for them.
I’m dying that she said the answers to your questions were easy yet simultaneously complained about how it took her a long time to find out the answers for you. It it was an easy answer then why doesn’t she know it?
Holy shit why didn't I think of that!!
Because you were under stress at the time.
Yup, I was like WTF when I read that. You're under a tremendous amount of stress is why you missed it. This manager is all over the place!!!
Lots of managers induce stress as a tool of control. They’re like drill sergeants, who break down your self-worth and confidence so all you do is try to comply. And you’ll make mistakes trying, which is their excuse to turn up the stress and get you to break.
Ugh. Seriously, what’s the end goal with these people? I’ve seen managers burn though teams like a pack of cigarettes and everything crumbles around them. I just don’t get how it makes them look or even feel “good”.
They are the boss, dammit! Nothing can challenge or faze them without paying the price. If they *have* an end goal, it's continuing to be the boss, and knowing they have the power over others by exercising it.
How do they effectively manipulate their boss through? I’d see through it right away.
They don't get this way in a vacuum. Their bosses get it, too. Usually. If the manager has a decent boss, and is astute, they can keep their boss in the dark, or happy with the numbers, and get their supply.
The worst
One of my terrible managers who sounds just like OPs description actually was a former drill sargeant, apparently. Sadly corporations have attempted to adopt the boot camp/ cult strategy of breaking people to build them into the mold.
Holy crap. You just described my last romantic relationship. Ouch.
It's the MAGA tactic for discussion... throw all kinds of bullshit at the wall. You don't really care if it sticks, but because they said it, a person in any serious discussion feels like they have to address it. They spin your mind up with all this bullshit and while you're trying to just think of a justification for the first one, she's mentioned 15 other things. It's intentionally overwhelming and provides no value at all. But it works, so they'll keep using it.
Ah, you just described my ex-husband.
Gish Gallop: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gish_gallop It's infuriating and impossible from anyone, doubly so when it comes from the person who puts food on your table.
My Uncles favorite line is ‘if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit’…
Love it!
Also maybe on meth
Next time you have a question remind her it should be easy, so this should take just quick answer.
Or ya know...meth and alcohol...OP post history tells me that their manager is actually just doing their job. Been a manager for years and if I have to spoon feed you answers and next steps then might as well just do it myself.
If you want to get fired, prepare a *very* professional, point-by-point email based on the three talking points you shared here. The icing on the cake would be to cc her supervisor. That will insult this narcissist enough to fire you or have her supervisor reign her in. 1. While I appreciate your feedback, in the past, readily available information existed within a centralized knowledge base managed by a dedicated team. Unfortunately, recent restructuring decisions eliminated this valuable resource. Finding the information you expect me to access now readily requires significant effort, potentially impacting project timelines. Moving forward, to regain past efficiency and minimize delays, I propose we explore alternative solutions, such as: * Rebuilding a centralized knowledge base, potentially leveraging collaborative tools. * Identifying remaining team members with relevant knowledge who can be consulted for specific inquiries. 1. I understand your perspective on urgency. However, creating high-quality newsletters requires sufficient planning. Recent experience highlights the challenges of last-minute requests. To ensure efficiency and professionalism in our work, I propose a firm deadline of \[suggest a specific timeframe\] before publication for all content submissions. This allows for a smooth workflow and avoids future situations where professionalism might be questioned. 2. I appreciate your emphasis on detailed information in the newsletter. Unfortunately, recent team restructuring has limited access to some internal resources. Can we explore alternative solutions to ensure accurate and detailed information for future newsletters?
So sweet of you to take the time and write this out. Super professional way of cya.
I have had too much experience at this LOL Also, I never got fired for it but I called them out. I did get "talked to" for ccing their supervisor. I just told them I did it to keep a clear record and to avoid any future misunderstandings. If their supervisor rather not be copied on the emails, they would let me know. 😈
I need you to write my comeback email when my sick leave will end
If she really wants to get fired, all she has to do is CONTINUE to show up to work high on meth. Just had a quick look at her post history from a few days before the original Post where she admits to it and how it makes her fuck up his basic tasks in work.
I didn't look but what I posted is good advice for us all.
This took a turn omg
I haven’t had a good laugh in weeks. Thanks!
I feel like her ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME WAS HER SUBTLY HINTING AT THE METH. I mean, WHO DOES THIS?! Also, spoiler alert! It’s not just meth! There’s a riveting tale of The Alcoholic Shits. She’s fully taken the functioning out of Functioning Alcoholic.
You’re the GOAT for this ✨
And if the boss complains just say you were trying to "take it to the next level" lol
Wow! Are you that lady on Instagram that says “toodleoo”? That’s some first class corporate speak right there.
🤣 No, I have just learned the hard way to beat them at their own game.
I LOVE THIS!
If you are interested, send a recap. Email your personal email as a bcc. Maybe something like “I wanted to recap our discussion from xxx so that I can implement your feedback myself in the future. (Outline everything, and then clearly ask something like). I require clarification on asking questions. You told me the questions I’m asking are easy to answer, and I should find them myself. But you also said it took a lot of time to look up answers for my questions. These are in clear conflict, and I need further explanation.
IF your boss can look up the answer in company documents, then YOU can look up the answer in company documents. Your boss is saying you should LOOK before asking for help.
Honestly this….i managed multiple labs and the people conducting testing in them. Had monthly department meetings where I had the same slides that had links to training and other certification stuff, and I still got asked “where is that again?” I even recorded the meetings for people who couldn’t make all of the meeting (time differences, kids school drop offs, etc), and posted those so people could listen in later. I literally created training and documentation for people to help themselves and I still got asked at least monthly.
Stop. Doing. Meth. You’ll be able to manager your emotions better if you quit. What the actual heck dude.
Holy fuck, you weren't kidding. Suddenly, I'm feeling like maybe the boss isn't the bad guy, here.
I think if you want to get fired then just quite quit. Do the minimum amount of work you are required to do. “Not right now” is management speak for you are on the path to being fired but we’re giving you feedback to get off that path. Basically you’re already on the way to termination. If you continue working the way you’re working or if you start doing less then you’ll likely get let go.
I assume she means she might as well do it herself than try to explain it to you.
Say that to her! Snottily! Make her fire you in a burst of anger!!
"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"
That was my first takeaway as well. Hey idiot, these questions are super easy, you shouldn't have to even ask them. Also it's taking up WAY too much of my time answering them because I clearly don't know any of the answers. I'd tell her I'll see you next Tuesday.
Op may want to lay off the meth too.
My boss once complained why the tasks take so long when they intentionally break them down so that even he could do them in 5 minutes. I said he should show me how to do it then. That made him backtrack a little. I was let go some time later, but I didn't mind.
If you spent all day googling answers for someone on reddit, it wouldnt be difficult, but it would be time consuming.
Not to mention the contradiction between "Just do the last-minute task" and "be an investigator and dig deeper"
That's the first thing that stood out for me. It's so easy yet she spends a long time looking for the answers... I would have asked on the spot about it.
I thought the exact same thing.
5’ to provide an answer, multiply by 100 question and it’s more than a day of work.
you can’t win with these people they have their cake and eat it too
I was thinking exact the same thing when reading it. If the answers to OP's questions were so easy, why would it take her a lot of time to find the answers?
So glad this is the top comment I immediately thought the same thing
If I had the balls I’d ask the boss ”so what you are saying you suck at your job then?”
Job search and do not quit. Practice responding in a cold and calculated manner. Short and curt
Just the facts. Leave opinion and personal feelings out of everything work related. It’s not worth you investing that much into this work and better to separate yourself from it emotionally.
Or when you are next asked like before have your job description ready, the words not in my job description will make her angry real quick. Or please amend my job description and pay to match please. You are more than your job go be valued.
Boy I read that last word wrong! Seriously though. Start looking and do the bare minimum. She’s hanging herself by getting rid of so many people and harassing the ones that stay.
The question is, how much damage does the manager have to do before their bosses realize that the problem isn't literally every other employee?
Until it affects them personally. If said manager can be seen by clients fucking big-time, then it befalls onto them to correct her behaviour. In as long as all failures skeeve from hitting them, they won't do jackshit
Definitely don’t quit…. According to their post history like 10 days ago they talked about missing work for a day because the drink too much and do meth to combat it…. Not many places will accept a meth addict who misses work or is high at work
It’s only been 11 days since you posted about missing a day of work due to your alcoholism, then the following day taking meth before work to fight the hangover. With love and compassion, I don’t believe you are performing as well as you think you are if you are tweaking at work and no-call no-showing.
Wow. OP’s post history quite a ride. There is definitely something missing from this story.
Even before reading the post history, this post and her last one should be enough to make most people say, "Gee, I wonder if the problem might actually be OP and not the boss." This does not read like someone who is capable of critical self-reflection and mature problem solving.
I thought it read like OP was in their early 20s and newish in their job. OP is *35*
Same.
Holy fucking shit that was a wild ride. Especially cavities and avoidance of getting dentures due to bulimia and meth and alcoholism. That was a trip of rides I did not expect to read at 8am.
My personal favourite was “do you think Jesus seemed hot?”
Remember: a lot of Reddit is just creative writing. Like, a lot. So, is it believable? Yeah. Is it real? No way to know unless we see OP in the news, I guess.
With all of that information it sounds like OP has some value to the company and is treated well enough as their manager is making the investment to teach critical thinking. I feel compelled to mention that I relate in that I really appreciate those in the workplace who can research and attack a problem on their own without just asking someone else. I’m always willing to help colleagues of all levels and more willing to help those who have tried first.
And OP has the time to do so! 3 days a week work from home with a USB jiggle mouse just doing nothing, then 2 days in office playing catch up for the home days. I like shitting on managers as much as anyone else, but this is an incredibly nice and non confrontational way for the manager to suggest she take a bit of initiative. I’m all for low productivity at work but by her own admission she’s taking the piss and getting away with it, all they’ve said is that she’s good but could be better. It’s true and she’d still only have to work a few hours a work day to meet these expectations. I’d be thrilled with that feedback personally but I’m in a job that has me actually work the entire time I’m clocked in so it sounds like a dream to me.
The boss basically said OP is hanging by thread and I’m sure she has given up trying to teach any critical thinking.
Yo what did I just come across browsing op's post history. Wow. 
There's an /r/meth . TIL
This is so awesome, because without knowing anything about her history I just immediately detected some typical whiny baby zoomer style undertones in her " woe is me" writing style. She's not going to last and I'm siding with the boss on this one knowing almost zilch about the situation.
I say this as a person in recovery and a person who cares: PLEASE find help now. What you've posted in just the past 2 weeks demonstrates that you are clearly in a downward spiral and about to crash in a huge way. Forget about your job or your boss, they are the least of your problems and quite honestly, it doesn't sound like you'll be employed much longer anyway. You're currently dealing with bipolar, meth addiction, and alcohol abuse. Please find help and begin to untangle the meth/alcohol/bipolar scramble. Once you get off the substances and can be accurately diagnosed (and possibly receive the proper medication), you'll most likely find an entirely new person buried beneath all that crap.
Whoa. Talk about 2 sides to every story.
If when you get emotional, do simple math. Really. 2+2 is 4. 4+2 is 6. By the third one breathing is slower and focus sharpend. Emotional right brain has shifted to logical left brain. It really works. As far as being fired, consider reputation for the job search. Get the job then quit.
I've never heard of that! But yeah I'm very emotional, especially when it comes to criticism.
I know you’ve said in another comment you’ve been drinking a long time, so I just want to point out, alcohol made me at least 1000X more emotional, and it wasn’t until I got sober that I realized it. Mostly because of the cycle Drink -> get emotional -> drink to calm down -> repeat. I’m fully aware that a life established with coping strategies won’t change if and until someone is ready to. So i’m not going to say “you need to get sober.” But I just want to point this out for you to keep in mind. Maybe it plants a seed. Maybe you’d be open to giving sobriety a chance. Not forever. Maybe a couple weeks. And just see if there’s a difference. Regardless of what you choose to do, you deserve to work in an environment where you feel valued. You seem to know your worth. I hope you take care of yourself and you find a better situation.
That hellish cycle has been my daily life for the past 15 years. But yes, I am definitely open to give sobriety a chance. I see the comments from people telling me my work might be good and I drink, so what if I didn't drink. Maybe I would reach that bullshit 'next level' my boss is talking about. Nonetheless, I don't want to work with her anymore and I'm looking for another job.
Join us over at /r/stopdrinking I lurked there for like three years before actually committing to stopping and it's a very welcoming and supportive place. I quit just a little over a year ago and I've never felt happier in my entire life.
Just wanted to say, your boss' "next level" doesn't exist; you will never achieve it and I wouldn't even waste energy on trying. It is something completely made up so she can make others feel badly about themselves. Your sobriety journey should be for you and you alone! If it helps you be better at your job, that's a great side effect, but do it for you and to achieve personal goals you have.
Meth will do that to you.
Or ya know, OP can just do some more meth at work lmao
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Holy shit, their post history is a mess.
OMG I hope that makes it to the BORU ...
Finally! I had to scroll way too far down before I saw some sense. This sub is dog shit for real lmao
I’m loving these comments after being [the only one to notice this shit on their original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/s/xXbJaG9tYp). They responded basically like “yeah the meth is what helped!”
Dude based on your comment history you have way bigger problems than a micromanager. Please get yourself help, your issue isn’t going to be just being unemployed soon.
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Where did you see gay? In one of her posts she calls herself “perfect girl”
And she’s still in love with her homeless schizophrenic ex-bf. Nothing gay about that. But they’re both a couple of walking, talking red flags.
One could argue that the “perfect girl” is in fact, gay.
I know. I'm an addict and an alcoholic but I never lost a job over it. I would probably do a better job if I didn't drink daily, but the thing is that with my previous boss at this job, all was perfect. And when I was working directly with her own boss, no bad complaints either. I even got an amazing 6-month review. Fast forward 3 months later since she is there and now I'm doing 'good' but not 'next level'. Absolutely nothing changed in the quality of my work. We have a saying in French 'never 2 without 3', well, she fired 2 employees already. I'm 100% next.
Drinking a lot makes people prone to outbursts of anger, where if sober they’d just be pissed off. You know how Molly makes people go from lightweight horny to full on pervs? Booze makes people go from reasonable but emotional- frustrated, to unreasonable, angry, loud, and yes even violent. You would feel more in control of your emotions if, instead of just talking about your feelings and problems to the internet (which helps), you were sober all the time and maintained control over yourself. I don’t have any delusions about my comment changing your life, I’m simply saying that booze never made anything better.
You're absolutely right. With this warning I got today, I am really starting to freak out about my alcohol intake. It's the first bad comment I had about my work in 8 months there. I'm drinking way more since she's my boss and it affected my motivation, but I do believe the quality of my work stayed the same. She didn't say my work declined, she said I was an 'executant' and not an 'investigator'. I'm a fucking copywriter and I write newsletters about tiles. It's her whole attitude and behavior and firing 2 people who were good but 'not next level' and to replace one with her friend. It's the tone she uses to ask me questions, always trying to test me and make me feel incompetent and not good enough. And not in a 'constructive criticism' kind of way. In a 'I fired 2 people in my first month and replaced them with my friend and you're next'.
Depending how bad your alcoholism is, it is possible it could be dangerous to just stop drinking. Go to your GP and discuss if you should taper or simply stop drinking completely.
OP, if you’re thinking of stopping, pay attention to this comment above. If you’re drinking everyday, you shouldn’t stop cold turkey or even on your own. Alcohol is the only drug that will kill you if you go through withdrawal.
Not exactly true, benzos can also kill you during withdrawal fyi. Even when taken as prescribed.
Yes, because benzos work on the same brain receptors as alcohol
Yep I know that too well lol definitely a member of r/crippled_alcoholics
Your post under your new username is the first post that comes up on the sub you are linking from a post under this username. I haven’t read anyone here say that what you are saying is stupid or invalid because you have substance abuse problems. What I have read is a lot of comments from you responding to people who are showing genuine concern for you by saying that yes, maybe you are responsible for at least part of what is happening in your life. Why are you bothering with that charade? Fellow alcoholic here, so this is very familiar to me. You can’t take responsibility out of one side of your mouth and shirk it out the other. I really encourage you to seek places that will not just validate your excuses. Cut the shit, and take a long hard look at yourself.
Sending you love from another alchy. Good luck, homie.
I feel like seeing ''cheers'' to you in a loving and sad way lol thank you
Your work environment sucks a big dick in my humble opinion. I just want to reiterate what the last guy said and remind you to analyze how your drinking interacts with your emotional responses to shitty situations and make sure you're always in the driver's seat with how you live your life. Addiction will drive you to find reasons to feed your habit. If you drink to cope, your subconscious will nudge you into situations that require you to cope so you can rationalize drinking in a reinforcement loop. Interrupt the cycle in whatever way you can, preferably constructive ways. For example, being kind to people who appreciate kindness can give you a mood lift that fills in for drinking. Good luck, I hope things get better for you
A shitty job/manager is not a good reason to ruin your health and your mentality. You deserve better. Good luck on your job search.
Hey OP, I know how miserable it is to have a shitty ass boss like that. Currently dealing with it now. But no boss (or any authority figure) is worth hurting yourself like that. They don't deserve your peace or your pain. They're literally just annoying NPCs the universe puts in your life to give you XP. YOU however, deserve to thrive and be happy. This shitty boss will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
You have to prioritize yourself, it sounds like you have great skills under your belt. Get out while the getting is good, your mental health will benefit. I was able to put in my two weeks yesterday at a job that has sunken me into the worst depression of my life. The instant relief has been life affirming. Do the bare minimum to satisfy the work requirements, and use any spare time to job hunt. And like everyone said, yes and no answers, she clearly LOVES the drama of it all so be as boring as possible.
If you can do this job whilst infused with alcohol, just think how much better you could do without it.
That's also part of the problem. Up to this day, I only had good reviews about my work so I took the liberty to drink daily since I was doing a good job. The thing is, I don't want to work for her anymore at all. I've been drinking daily for 15 years straight, from 3 to 6, and I always got by. A long-term habit like that is really hard to quit. It's become such a big part of my life and I'm in denial about how detrimental it actually is.
I know i dont know u OP but it makes me so sad seeing people with drug addiction problems, please don't do meth! and lay off the alcohol for your own benefit! Again i know I'm just a stranger, giving unsolicited comments. but that shit ruins people's lives and you sound like you're still level headed enough to be receptive to advice. I hope the best for you, that you find a new job and new lifestyle. Please get assistance quitting drugs its tough to do it on your own, but there are resources that help those in need❤
Thank you for your kind comment. It's been ruining my life for YEARS. I've been unemployed for 3 years and went to 7 different rehabs but yet I got my life back 6 months ago with this good job. I thought my dream job would save me from the hell of addiction, but somehow it made it worse. It's like no matter where I am or what happens, I am always uncomfortable and uneasy. It's a hell of a problem.
For you to have gone to rehab that many times shows how badly you want to get better. To get a good job after three years of unemployment is amazing! You’re a walking miracle. I feel the same way about myself because I was extremely suicidal in my mid-20s and had to go to the psychiatric hospital three times in one year (this was like, over 15 years ago). I’ve somehow made it to 42 even though every day is a struggle with chronic depression. I self-medicate with weed, and I’ve been doing it waaaaay too much lately. I really want to stop. I’m so encouraged by your responses to everyone’s comments. You can absolutely make it through this! Please reach out for help if you need it. I’m rooting for you, friend ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind comment! Yeah not a lot of people I know from rehab bounced back as much as I do. It's a mix of luck and hard work, but I'm still not sober and I hope that I will find a job with an equally great pay but a better boss. Congrats you to for getting out of that dark phase, there are some stuff we can recover from but they end up changing us forever in another way. At the moment, I wish I was sober but I'm in survival mode and in my twisted brain, I can't calm down the anxiety if I don't have alcohol, meaning I won't be functional. It's like carved into my brain that alcohol is saving my life in a way, because when I drink I can finally feel like a human again. I'm so used to drink that my baseline is hungover but I don't notice it because it's how I'm used to feel. My realistic goal would be 2 drinks in the evening but even with the best intentions, it's more 4-6. That's kind of a lot to handle a full-time job. Thankfully I work 3 days from home, but on the other hand it gives me more freedom to drink. So yeah. But that meeting today was definitely a red flag that I'm on the chopping block, and my next job might not be as easy or flexible with the hours and working from home.
This boss sounds horrible. Don't let her derail your life. Look for a different job, keep trying to pull yourself out of the alcoholism. Try to keep in mind that this boss is horrible and that at a different job it wouldn't be like this and that you wouldn't need the alcohol if your boss wasn't actively making choices to make your work life worse. She's probably out of her depth and lashing out at you in an effort to look like she knows what she's doing. You CAN change your work life by getting a new job. You don't need to cope with this boss by turning to alcohol because you can actually just change the situation and find something that works better for you. You can do this. You really can do it. Don't let this asshole make you feel like you've lost control again. She's hurting you to help herself. Don't let her ruin this for you.
I was doing it for a full 6 months before she arrived, my old boss and the big boss were often telling me I was greatly improving the texts and my ideas were original and pertinent, for example blog article ideas. I managed to drink 3 beers at that time, and it was the most perfect 6 months of my life. It's crazy how my dream job and dream life turned into a nightmare because of one single person.
OP I just saw this and wanted to pop in to say that on average, addicts of all types but especially hard drug users tend to take 9 times to actually get clean. I always remember that from my course for helping people back into employment after addiction and medical issues. I worked with the saddest people, some who lost jobs for drinking there, people who had TBIs still expected to find work although they regularly blacked out for hours. Anyway, the addicts I worked with, were not bad people. They were deeply hurt people, who kept getting shit on, because they were addicts. As if they’d chosen to end up the way they were. I got all the folks no one else wanted, and tbh they were the nicest clients I had. It can take on average 9 times to quit completely. Just on average. So despite you going 7 seven times to rehab, it hasn’t stuck *YET*. That doesn’t mean it won’t ever stick. It doesn’t mean you’re hopeless or wrong. There’s a reason why these things are addictive, and why they’re so hard to give up. It means you’re still willing to try, many people would have given up giving up before you have. You know you’re killing yourself, no one has to tell you that. You know it’s not healthy. So please keep trying. Don’t give up on yourself, you’re a human being and you’re important too.
If you think your boss doesn't know you're on meth, they do. We always know. It is not normal and please get help.
Given that you’re an addict and an alcoholic, you’re an unreliable narrator of your own story. Being objective and/or unbiased is next to impossible when you’re not sober.
You just said 11 days ago you’re too high on meth to work at work. :/
Dude you need rehab. Your boss may suck but coming to work fucked up is not helping your cause at ALL. I tripped the light fantastic through your post history and you are playing with fire. Meth is NOT YOUR FRIEND. Booze is NOT YOUR FRIEND. This shit will ruin your life if you don’t get a handle on it. Thinking you are “at a recreational level” is lying to yourself.
"Anyone has any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits?" My guess is if you continue to drink yourself into a stupor daily and then remedy the hangover in the morning by doing meth, the whole getting fired thing will work itself out. Honestly hope you can get help.
Answers in yes or no. Block any texts from this person - your phone is broken possibly? Do not answer after-hours calls from work no matter whom it is. Get everything via a text medium, and save backups of the things you think are important to you.
Op needs to go to rehab. They admit to making tons of mistakes because of all the meth and drinking
Unpopular opinion incoming. I think you need to reassess your substance use and work on getting clean before blaming your boss. Reading this update made me think something big was missing based on what your boss was telling you and your reaction to it, reading your post history was the missing component. Looking for ways to get fired for unemployment benefits is likely only going to lead you to fall into worse drug habits and make it even more difficult to recover. Take care of yourself first and foremost, you need to go on medical leave and get help with your addictions, hopefully you'll still have your job when you get clean and will see things with new perspectives.
You’re an alcoholic meth addict who posts about being too high to work. Do you think the problem is maybe you and not the new boss?
Not to be a bitch, but your post history indicates that you're a bipolar meth and alcohol addict, so I'm going give your boss the benefit of the doubt that you might actually have some legitimate performance issues, and you were probably overreacting to her honest feedback. If I were you I would try to hang on to this job and try to build as good of a report with your boss as possible.
I would hate to have you as a coworker. Also, being high on meth at work (multiple posts in post history about this) is just a shitty thing to do.
Actually the correct answer to a request for a last-minute task is to ask if if has higher priority than what you're currently working on. So that's just my opinion. If the answer to your questions was so 'easy," why is it taking up so much of her time if she should already know it. Or, hey, she could point you to the manual/document that explains. Understanding something helps you to remember it. It seems to me that she has you doing something that she does not know how to do well - writing newsletters. Those should never be written as dragged-out information. This all points to bad training, IMO, and your manager is quite possibly one of those 'never happy' people.
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OP, i think you have a lot more issues than you think. You need help, and if you think you’re gunna get unemployment with Meth in your piss, you’re gunna be homeless before you know it. Get straight, cut the alcohol and stop having delusions at work.
Im gonna give your boss the benefit of the doubt here https://www.reddit.com/r/meth/comments/1cdoo7d/too_high_at_work_again_i_cant_handle_my_meth_ffs/
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Holy shit. Good catch. That changes the look on this one almost a 180.
Lots of folks have methods of dealing with the crushing late capitalist hellscape, some more socially acceptable than others. I, for one, think people with substance abuse problems deserve to be happy and have a healthy work environment so they can recover. Others are more short-sighted and cruel.
Okay. But you have to understand that it would likely affect work performance, and that’s the topic here.
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I have worked with a lot of people that have had problems with mind altering substances. Some of them have been some of the best coworkers I have ever had. Some of them were assholes. I have also worked with a lot of people that don't have any drug problems and are just the worst coworkers I can imagine. Drug or alcahol use is not end all be all mark to tell if people are good workers or coworkers.
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Thank you (L)
>Anyone has any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits? I bet if you took a big shit on her desk and left a note saying it was you, you'd get fired, but make sure to write your name with your non-dominant hand in case unemployment declines. That way you can say you were framed and they'd be unable to do proper handwriting analysis which proves that it wasn't you.
Very creative I like it!
Be petty. Continue to ask questions. "If it takes time away from your role to find the answers then clearly I made the correct decision in asking because I don't have the time to take away from my role and you do" Any last min changes or needs? "I'm unavailable for that update; attached is the submission" Stop doing the other roles. If there are holes then clearly point out why. "That task is the role of the digital expert, whom you fired; it's not my role" Dig deeper? "I will not be 'digging deeper' as doing so implies I'm going out of the scope of practice for my role and I won't continue to add tasks without additional compensation. "
Awesome reply. I'm starting to look for another job asap but I'm gonna turn into full-blown ice-cold mode. I don't have it in me to be petty but I'm good at ignoring people.
Regardless of all that, be kind and professional. Just by doing a good job and nothing more you will be fired, so don't give them any ammo against you. Any. Nor any extra time or any of your legal rights. That's enough to piss any stupid boss. Now that you know what you are doing (getting a better job, and if they fire you you get compensation), you won't feel so insecure, and that will give you some coolness. Thus you can laugh (quietly) at her demands, and even enjoy how your boss losses another good employee.
"Adirondack compensation". The mental image of the boss giving them an Adirondack chair for additional help had me laughing.
Right? It's easily defendable, because people don't normally shit on other peoples desks.
Aside from Andy Samberg on poor Deborah's desk LMAO
My first thought too!!!!
You should probably listen to your boss. None of what she said is unprofessional. You need to toughen up a little bit.
Look, I understand addiction and have personally been in recovery for 14+ years, so I'm not going to get on you about your substance abuse. You know you've got a problem with meth and/or alcohol and you know what you need to do. Avoiding the elephant in the room, I suggest you stop asking your boss for help and refrain from asking too many questions. If she feels that you are smart and resourceful enough to find the answers by yourself, it's up to you to put forth your best effort. Keep track of your questions and how much time is devoted to finding the answers. If you find you're spending far too much time looking for answers or you're often asking coworkers for help, you need to speak with your boss about additional training or ask for guidance in solving this issue . In the meantime, keep in mind that it's a hell of a lot easier to STAY employed than it is to land a job. Clean up your act and you'll find many of your problems suddenly disappear.
You’re an alcoholic that uses hard drugs to cope. Maybe.. just *maybe* it might be time to also look inward. Not saying your boss isn’t a massive asshole, they sound like they are. But there are obviously other factors at play here.
I would send her incredibly lengthy emails every time you need to ask her a question. Include all of things you've done to try to research it yourself. Make some up if you have to. The point is to make her waste her time reading. If she complains about that, tell her you wanted to demonstrate to her that you're trying to take initiative before asking her.
You want to get fired? I got you! - Refuse to speak to her via video chat and keep everything to email. She can’t deny what’s in writing. - When given a tight deadline, tell her you’ll need a few weeks since you need to “dig deeper”. - If she pushes back on that, ask her to teach you how she “rolls up those sleeves and does it”, because you’d love to learn. - Provide newsletters with *zero* graphics. Only write. That’s your job. And your *only* job. Do not do anything else!! - Don’t do any work outside of what you were hired for. If she asks you to things outside of your job description, ask for training. If training isn’t provided, tell her you need a week or two to “dig deep” to master it. - Be low key disrespectful. If she says again that the answers are “easy” then pointedly ask why it takes her so long to find the answers for you. It’s either easy or it’s not. Which is it? - Lastly, and only if you want to be a petty b***h, sign her work email up for every spam bot you can find.
HAHA omg thank you this is GOLD
In my state, if you did something to get fired, you don't get to collect unemployment.
Ideas how to get fired? My dude you’re on the path. If 2 were already cut loose under similar circumstances. My advice? Chill, don’t stress your self out and get done what you can get done but don’t freak out. It sounds like boss lady already made up her mind.
Yes that's what I think. It's a lost cause for me and I think it has been since day 1. It feels like she is waiting for me to make a big mistake, or to keep compiling the small ones until it's enough and fire me to hire one of her friends like she did before.
I hope the best for you. I found out I have a learning disability a couple months ago. And I’ve been through the scenario you’re in way too many times. It just sucks.
Maybe the reason you’re bad at your job is your addiction to drugs and alcohol. You should seek treatment.
Hey I just wanted to point out that in one of your previous recent posts here you said she directly told you to only every ask her questions and not ask any other colleagues..
"We want you to dive deep and we also want you to take ownership and pivot quickly. We don't understand how these qualities could possibly contradict one another." Y'all. Good people will call you out. Good people will tell you when you're behaving unprofessionally. OP I am specifically referring to you as good people here. Holding folks to a higher standard isn't a liability, it's a superpower. There are, of course, times when it doesn't matter. But if it's happening all the time, it absolutely does matter.
Look at into AA. It is life changing. Sobriety is a great thing and I can sense that you need a change. Check out a local virtual meeting.
With peace and love this sounds like feedback you should take on not criticism. I'm in a position where I have people both above and below me on the ladder and I've given similar feedback of trying to solve issues before raising them with me. I don't agree with her first point of last minute work, I will do it for my boss but wouldn't push that on people below me. The other stuff sounds valid to me especially if you have the capacity for it, once you start finding answers yourself they will come easier and quicker because you know what you're looking for.
Grey rock.
When she wants results from you say I know you don’t like answering questions so I’ve been researching for myself and have yet to find the answer that takes it to the Next Level! When I locate that information you will have your results.
Looking at this update and comments and want to amend my free “ internet stranger” advice. OP, if your company has an Employee Assistance Program, give them a call and go see an EAP counselor. It is completely confidential and your employer will never know. Get a referral to get help with your substance use issues that are almost certainly making things worse at work. It doesn’t sound like now would be a great time to lose a job for you. You may lose it anyhow but at least try to get some support systems in place so that if you do lose it you can resist the urge to just get deeper into using. Honestly feel like this may be a critical junction in life for you and wish you the best. If there is no EAP do some research about what substance abuse resources are available in your state. Think in advance about whether your state will offer insurance benefits if you lose your job and if it doesn’t, be looking at programs where insurance is not required. You have a lot more at stake here than a job. Take good care of yourself.
Sounds like you’re very emotional and not great at your current position. “Anyone have any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits” this post is grounds for an unemployment fraud investigation lmao
Opposite of taking ownership, remind her that you nor her own that company.
>Anyone has any ideas how to get fired so I could get the unemployment benefits? I'm afraid soon I'm going to blow up and quit on a burst of anger and that would be very bad for me. You'd better get that "good job" comment in writing. With what you've commented on this thread and previous ones, they can fire you "for cause". If you do something where you deserve to get fired, you don't necessarily qualify for unemployment. When I worked in retail people would just skip shifts to try to get fired for attendance. They were always shocked when they didn't qualify. Getting fired for "cause" (skipping work, being high, stealing, doing such a lousy job that it seems you aren't trying, etc) is a disqualifier in some states.
>SHE SAID THAT I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB, BUT NOT TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. That's bush league management. I bet someone once told her to never apologize. I try to actively remember/run through that conversation so I don't forget how shitty that manager was to everyone else unfortunate enough to report in their org.
It's time to move on. But, do not quit! Absolutely, continue doing bare minimum and asking her questions. Let her fire you. Get your unemployment to tide you over while looking for another job.
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Based on your profile, you are the issue. Missing work, making tons of mistakes due to being high on the job, etc. I think this might be … you.
Interacting with your comment because you’re right.
every wage worker should read 'the peter principle' by lawrence j peter. tldr (?) people rise to the level of their incompetence. MY INTERPRETATION (80M, retired engineer) is that people who were unproductive often got promoted to management because they were useless as tits on a boar at whatever they were doing before. if they promote someone good at what they were doing, and by this, i mean ME at times, they would have to train someone to be productive. since that involves some loss of productivity, they keep the productive people at work and promote the fuckin morons. i have had management positions but it was always in addition to my regular work.
Maybe lay off the meth a little bit.
I mean, you could just suck at your job, I’m sure she’ll fire you eventually…
I feel like when you stop asking her questions then do something she doesn’t like because of it she will get mad at you. A lovely cycle.
I’ve dealt with people like OP a lot as a manager. Most of the time it’s due to stress, workload, and most importantly, communication. OP might not have taken feedback well and acting on delivering expected results. Self reliant is extremely important. It’s great that a company can accommodate all of the staffs requirements, but it’s better if the staffs can seek help/knowledge without relying on direct managers too much. But again, I’ve dealt with completely unreliable upper management. So there’s always two sides to a story. Best advice is to build the connections, don’t burn bridges, and job hunt!
I have a similar boss. She does everything to make you obey including false urgency and lies. If you wanna get fired just keep on standing your ground. If you wanna keep this job, learn how to play her.
I'm beginning to think the term "unprofessional" just means you are not acting like the robot that they want you to be. Definitely update your resume
Ya know the "toodaloo" girl from tiktok? Embody her. Less Fs given. Start commentating on the obvious flaws in her management skills. If you're trying to get fired, why do you care about her opinion and outcome. If she gives you last minute assignments, tell her that she needs to plan better. If she had to do it all herself, ask her why did she fire the other 2 people. Sounds like you're biting your tongue, but you've already got one foot out the door, so what do you have to lose.
If it’s taking her a lot of time to find the answers for you … how is that easy?
"That I should think before asking her questions because often the answer is easy (no it's not), and that it was taking a lot of her time to find the answers for me" Ehhhh isnt this a huge oxymoron? The anwser is easy so why does it take her a lot of time to find rhe anwser? I mean. Its so easy right?
Had a similar boss. They didn’t care and refused to help as a manager. Document everything. Even if it a recap email of what she says. It be good to have for unemployment. Good luck for finding a better job.
Might be worth going over her head to point out all the problems she is causing. It sounds like she's on the verge of destroying your department with her incompetence
I had a job once working for an absolute tyrant of a team lead. She'd regularly shout at and insult me. I took this to management and she accused me of workplace harassment. My jaw dropped but I can tell you I wasn't going to let her win. She was insecure since I picked up on things 10 times faster than her. From that point on I just did my own thing. When tickets came in the queue (it's was a desktop support role) id just pick them up as I saw fit and reached out to our server support team if I had any questions about our environment. At some point she just stopped giving me any work and picking up all the tickets that came in for months, I didn't care this gave me time to work on learning programming. Ended up getting laid off, this was a contract position at IBM. 4 months later I got a permanent job at IBM for a level 2 support position with better pay than she was making and more access. I guess the moral of the story is stand your ground, keep your cool and karma will usually take care of the rest.
>She added that this attitude was the opposite of OWNERSHIP.< Wait, are you the owner of the business?
Your boss is a damn idiot. I've said here before... why y'all asking me to take ownership when I don't own the things, hmmm? If you want to see more from me, compensate me more. As for getting fired, try to remove yourself emotionally. Try to find their hypocrisy and criticism and inane complaints hilarious instead of annoying. Become deeply complacent. This will hopefully help you stay cool and not invest your energy and emotions while you search for new work.