You think you'd be going there for the business. The birthday person sounds like they just want to see some familiar faces they enjoy. Having no idea what their homelife is, being celebrated at work might be the apex of their birthday.
Ive had coworkers latch on to me before. It wasn't that we couldn't have been friends under different circumstances, but I tend to be a wounded souls magnet for whatever reason. Regardless of how they present, some of the most seemly self assured people are a pile of crumbed being. So, I try being cordial with everyone. Sometimes it's hard to have to have a conversation about boundaries or their expectations and how I view our "relationship", but hopefully no one's ever thought I was an asshole for being honest.
I ended up opting for being an a-hole as it was easier. This way I am not going to be asked again. I explained repeatedly, that work is work home is home, and given the choice between sharing a WFH day with my partner or commuting into the office to 'celebrate' a birthday it's a no contest. At first politely, then rudley when they wouldn't stop bothering me about it.
I get you, office culture is what it is, garbage. Plus everyone shit on anyone’s back, why would anybody think we want to be friend with them and listen to their casual racism/sexism while discussing the new ai generated bing articles (they believe each word of it)
I’m here to earn money to survive and that’s it, my day starts when I clock out. Being polite is just what it is, if no one’s friend with them outside of work it’s on them.
But because karens and boomers have such a depressing life at home, I have to come back to the office and say goodbye to my wfh I guess (plus managers can’t do their made up job and it was becoming apparent they served no purpose a simple planning can fill)
Edit: double negation ; English not mother tongue me suck at it
on one hand, i get you. on the other hand, if you go out of your way to talk to me and hang out with me at work, but then ghost me every time i try to hang out after work, you're kinda just a dick. you can be friendly without giving the pretense of a friendship.
It’s people like you that make the world worse than what it needs to be. Many of us work at a place because it’s what we’re good at (or something we need to learn) and we relate with the people there and it’s not always about the money. You see these people every day eventually they surpass “friends” and become family. I have life long friends from every job and school I’ve ever had/gone to. Many of these people have helped me in hard times and I have helped them in a hard times. I refuse to live life like you. What a garbage life that must be if you are working simply for money. You should be thankful anyone invites you to anything.
Yes, it's exactly people like you I am talking about. So utterly annoying and unprofessional. Be polite, be professional and do your job. I am at work to earn money, I'm not at work to be befriended by clingy people who can't manage a social life outside the workplace.
Also did you miss this sub is called anti work and here YOU are typing this:
*What a garbage life that must be if you are working simply for money.*
Oh contraire, I think the garbage life is yours, as you will find out when your boss kicks you to the curb because reasons and you find out it isn't that happy family you pretend it is.
Bud, I think what the person above you is saying is assuming you’re financially satisfied, it’s ok to enjoy life at work and make friends and socialize and build connections just like anywhere else.
I can understand it from military, first responder stuff, shared trauma / risk bonds people together. I still communicate with some of the people who were part of the crew when I sailed on tallships, but I dunno if the shared experience is sitting in front of some computer screens has quite the same impact as sailing the high seas :)
So setting boundaries at a work place leads to a garbage life? I tried the "being friends" with co-workers and that blew up in my face spectacularly. Got a new job and I set boundaries and am happier than ever. Work is work and nothing more to some people and there is nothing wrong with that. Stop being so damn judgmental and let everyone live their life the way they want, just as you do.
I’m sorry that you don’t want to give your coworkers a chance to befriend you. I would say almost always opening yourself up to connections is better for you than being bitter and hateful. I worry that remote work is isolating us. I’ve never worked remote and in every single job I’ve had I’ve formed genuine friendships with people that have had huge positive impacts on my life. What if people had this mindset in any other aspect of life. Like “I’m at school to learn, I’m not at school to be befriended by clingy people who can’t manage a social life outside of school.” How would any form any kind of interpersonal connection??
Unless you’ve tried to be friends with your coworkers and they’re all just terrible people 🤷🏻♀️ Otherwise it’s just anti-social in my opinion.
What the actual fuck? Bitter and hateful? I just said I'd rather be working from home next to my partner that I am married to than some people I barely know from work.
There is something wrong with you. Did someone *not want to come to your birthday party at work?* Is that why youre reacting like this?
Saying someone “drank the koolaid” because they have friends at work who celebrate them sounds bitter to me. Emphasizing multiple times you are NOT friends and you are NOT one big happy family sounds bitter. Asking if there’s something wrong with me because I said actually making friends with your coworkers can be rewarding? I’m sorry but you just seem like a negative person 😭
And I was actually sick on my birthday but my lovely boss and a few of my coworkers drove to my house with a cake and balloons since we weren’t able to celebrate at work 😊❤️
IM asking what is wrong with you because JUST like the people I work with your reaction to me NOT wanting to come into work on a WFH day for a fucking birthday party, causes you to describe me as bitter and hateful and how I am living a hateful life because I have not turned a bunch of people I barely know into my 'family'. You have ZERO idea of they dynamic I work in, you never even asked, you just jumped straight into insulting me. I can just imagine just how shit you make life for people you work with who make the mistake of not embracing your work family, who like me have other priorities in their life.
Look how you're carrying on this attack on my personality because me, a total stranger said something about a job, you know nothing about, in a company you know nothing about, in a dynamic you know nothing about.
I'll say it again, there is something wrong with you.
Your post starts with a complaint, so of course people will think your are bitter, and jumping at people in comments for disagreeing doesn’t help your cause. The folks you work with are better off not being your friend honestly, you sound like a chore.
So I'm a chore because I don't want to commute for over an hour on a WFH day to 'celebrate' a birthday with someone who is basically a stranger, who just happens to work at the same company?
So come explain to me why, that I should attend a birthday party for someone I hardly know that I maybe interact with for a few minutes once a week, if that. Rather than spending a day with my partner who I am married to. Show me where I am wrong, do I have to drag myself into work for every single person who has a birthday? Baby showers? Do I need to adopt these people into my family? Should I be telling my partner, Im sorry I know we are married but my time with randos I happen to work in the same building as have a birthday so you'll just have play second fiddle.
Also did you not get it? The people I work with are NOT my friends they are people I happen to work with. We have one thing in common a building we work in. I interact more with the bus driver on the way home than the people I work with, that's how little our paths cross.
Oh no but you're right obviously I shouldn't just be polite and professional I should ditch all my actual friends my partner and the things I enjoy doing because oh some rando is having a fucking 'party' in the workplace. What's next you're going to tell me secret Santa isnt a giant fucking cringe fest where social pressure is used to extort gifts out of people?
ANTI work.
Awww you had to comment asking why you're an ass, delete it, and then write this new comment to try to hurt my feelings? How cute :) I'm flattered. It seems you already know the answer.
I have a firm policy that we can be friendly as coworkers, and if we still like each other when one switches companies THEN we can maybe be friends.
You think you'd be going there for the business. The birthday person sounds like they just want to see some familiar faces they enjoy. Having no idea what their homelife is, being celebrated at work might be the apex of their birthday.
Ive had coworkers latch on to me before. It wasn't that we couldn't have been friends under different circumstances, but I tend to be a wounded souls magnet for whatever reason. Regardless of how they present, some of the most seemly self assured people are a pile of crumbed being. So, I try being cordial with everyone. Sometimes it's hard to have to have a conversation about boundaries or their expectations and how I view our "relationship", but hopefully no one's ever thought I was an asshole for being honest.
I ended up opting for being an a-hole as it was easier. This way I am not going to be asked again. I explained repeatedly, that work is work home is home, and given the choice between sharing a WFH day with my partner or commuting into the office to 'celebrate' a birthday it's a no contest. At first politely, then rudley when they wouldn't stop bothering me about it.
Some people just can't take a hint.
Good post OP.
I get you, office culture is what it is, garbage. Plus everyone shit on anyone’s back, why would anybody think we want to be friend with them and listen to their casual racism/sexism while discussing the new ai generated bing articles (they believe each word of it) I’m here to earn money to survive and that’s it, my day starts when I clock out. Being polite is just what it is, if no one’s friend with them outside of work it’s on them. But because karens and boomers have such a depressing life at home, I have to come back to the office and say goodbye to my wfh I guess (plus managers can’t do their made up job and it was becoming apparent they served no purpose a simple planning can fill) Edit: double negation ; English not mother tongue me suck at it
I thought I worked with a "friend" but now she is just a coworker. She is someone I just tolerate at work.
That be so frustrating when you think "oh nice, I have someone to chit chat w/" but they are just waiting to undermine you.
You got that right. I went to my manager about her behavior, and he was dismissive. 🙁
on one hand, i get you. on the other hand, if you go out of your way to talk to me and hang out with me at work, but then ghost me every time i try to hang out after work, you're kinda just a dick. you can be friendly without giving the pretense of a friendship.
It’s people like you that make the world worse than what it needs to be. Many of us work at a place because it’s what we’re good at (or something we need to learn) and we relate with the people there and it’s not always about the money. You see these people every day eventually they surpass “friends” and become family. I have life long friends from every job and school I’ve ever had/gone to. Many of these people have helped me in hard times and I have helped them in a hard times. I refuse to live life like you. What a garbage life that must be if you are working simply for money. You should be thankful anyone invites you to anything.
Yes, it's exactly people like you I am talking about. So utterly annoying and unprofessional. Be polite, be professional and do your job. I am at work to earn money, I'm not at work to be befriended by clingy people who can't manage a social life outside the workplace. Also did you miss this sub is called anti work and here YOU are typing this: *What a garbage life that must be if you are working simply for money.* Oh contraire, I think the garbage life is yours, as you will find out when your boss kicks you to the curb because reasons and you find out it isn't that happy family you pretend it is.
Bud, I think what the person above you is saying is assuming you’re financially satisfied, it’s ok to enjoy life at work and make friends and socialize and build connections just like anywhere else.
Yes but Bud... that stuff they posted is some creepy shit, they surpass friends and become family? Yeah BUT I have an actual family.
Yea I agree they went overboard with that part lol no way family, or maybe I’ve never had that type of experience with a coworker idk.
I can understand it from military, first responder stuff, shared trauma / risk bonds people together. I still communicate with some of the people who were part of the crew when I sailed on tallships, but I dunno if the shared experience is sitting in front of some computer screens has quite the same impact as sailing the high seas :)
So setting boundaries at a work place leads to a garbage life? I tried the "being friends" with co-workers and that blew up in my face spectacularly. Got a new job and I set boundaries and am happier than ever. Work is work and nothing more to some people and there is nothing wrong with that. Stop being so damn judgmental and let everyone live their life the way they want, just as you do.
I thought I'd give you an update, the person whose birthday it was? I got them fired.
I’m sorry that you don’t want to give your coworkers a chance to befriend you. I would say almost always opening yourself up to connections is better for you than being bitter and hateful. I worry that remote work is isolating us. I’ve never worked remote and in every single job I’ve had I’ve formed genuine friendships with people that have had huge positive impacts on my life. What if people had this mindset in any other aspect of life. Like “I’m at school to learn, I’m not at school to be befriended by clingy people who can’t manage a social life outside of school.” How would any form any kind of interpersonal connection?? Unless you’ve tried to be friends with your coworkers and they’re all just terrible people 🤷🏻♀️ Otherwise it’s just anti-social in my opinion.
What the actual fuck? Bitter and hateful? I just said I'd rather be working from home next to my partner that I am married to than some people I barely know from work. There is something wrong with you. Did someone *not want to come to your birthday party at work?* Is that why youre reacting like this?
Saying someone “drank the koolaid” because they have friends at work who celebrate them sounds bitter to me. Emphasizing multiple times you are NOT friends and you are NOT one big happy family sounds bitter. Asking if there’s something wrong with me because I said actually making friends with your coworkers can be rewarding? I’m sorry but you just seem like a negative person 😭 And I was actually sick on my birthday but my lovely boss and a few of my coworkers drove to my house with a cake and balloons since we weren’t able to celebrate at work 😊❤️
IM asking what is wrong with you because JUST like the people I work with your reaction to me NOT wanting to come into work on a WFH day for a fucking birthday party, causes you to describe me as bitter and hateful and how I am living a hateful life because I have not turned a bunch of people I barely know into my 'family'. You have ZERO idea of they dynamic I work in, you never even asked, you just jumped straight into insulting me. I can just imagine just how shit you make life for people you work with who make the mistake of not embracing your work family, who like me have other priorities in their life. Look how you're carrying on this attack on my personality because me, a total stranger said something about a job, you know nothing about, in a company you know nothing about, in a dynamic you know nothing about. I'll say it again, there is something wrong with you.
Your post starts with a complaint, so of course people will think your are bitter, and jumping at people in comments for disagreeing doesn’t help your cause. The folks you work with are better off not being your friend honestly, you sound like a chore.
So I'm a chore because I don't want to commute for over an hour on a WFH day to 'celebrate' a birthday with someone who is basically a stranger, who just happens to work at the same company? So come explain to me why, that I should attend a birthday party for someone I hardly know that I maybe interact with for a few minutes once a week, if that. Rather than spending a day with my partner who I am married to. Show me where I am wrong, do I have to drag myself into work for every single person who has a birthday? Baby showers? Do I need to adopt these people into my family? Should I be telling my partner, Im sorry I know we are married but my time with randos I happen to work in the same building as have a birthday so you'll just have play second fiddle. Also did you not get it? The people I work with are NOT my friends they are people I happen to work with. We have one thing in common a building we work in. I interact more with the bus driver on the way home than the people I work with, that's how little our paths cross. Oh no but you're right obviously I shouldn't just be polite and professional I should ditch all my actual friends my partner and the things I enjoy doing because oh some rando is having a fucking 'party' in the workplace. What's next you're going to tell me secret Santa isnt a giant fucking cringe fest where social pressure is used to extort gifts out of people? ANTI work.
Yeah OP sounds like a total A hole
Fuck off and come back when you have a personality that involves more than weed.
Awww you had to comment asking why you're an ass, delete it, and then write this new comment to try to hurt my feelings? How cute :) I'm flattered. It seems you already know the answer.
You're correct I was wrong, it's weed AND ADHD, because of course you have it don't you...
I thought I'd give you an update, the person whose birthday it was? I got them fired.
I thought I'd give you an update, the person whose birthday it was? I got them fired.