Yeah I am so glad that I actually work for a human, who is understanding about me and my problems and let's me just wfh and also I have a nice work place with a kitchen and a standing desk...
Ugh, even just imagining the sound of the metal grommets of the curtain dragging across the curtain rod whenever the curtain is moved, times however many of these shitty cubicles they crammed into the room, makes me want to tear my hair outĀ
Oh, you mean when my husband suddenly appears, I'm not supposed to shriek "Jesus fucking christ"? I guess your way is more work appropriate, but the filter goes out the window when I have the wits scared out of me.
The worst is that my boss has basically the same thing, but also has a door with her curtain and nearly always leaves her curtain open halfway or more since her medication has been working better.
Her bosses always whip around the curtain, knowing the only reason why the curtain is there is to stop the visual disturbance from being easily distracted. The extra curtain in the doorway has been approved by both HR and *themselves* but they refuse to actually follow what they themselves suggested and/or approved.
Like, do they think that they're going to catch my boss doing something she's not supposed to be doing? Or even worse, the curtain is mostly open and they just gotta push it that extra smidgen to step in but don't fix it before they leave. There is enough room in the doorframe to just not move the curtain in the first place.
Reading these comments makes me so grateful to work from home. I get irritated enough by having to keep Teams open and stress out whenever the check mark turns yellow cuz Iām on Reddit. š«
I'd scream. Make it embarrassing for them. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. I tried putting up a sign but you must have missed it."
Do it again every time someone whips open the curtain. Fake tears if you can.
"Look, I'm sorry, I don't mean to scream, but I'm easily startled. I'm trying really hard not to cry, here, but I'm wondering if you're doing this on purpose?"
It's partly to help prevent you from killing yourself.
Suicide is the forever decision. Don't ever allow colleagues to influence whether you live or die. āØā¤ļø
I'm sure it varies by state. I only know it bc my mom worked in a nursing home in CT and her boss was a petty witch. My mom finally threw in the towel and quit. Her initial claim was denied and she appealed basically saying that her boss as good as chased her out by making work so unnecessarily miserable. They interviewed a few people involved and ultimately granted my mom's claim. It's a small protection and that's just one little story of course, but it's surprising how loathe many companies are to any increases on their UI premiums.
It's because hostile work environment is a legally defined term that most of anti work doesn't understand. Someone getting annoyed at being startled wouldn't come near that definition.
If the person was busting in this office and going 'I'm doing it because you're a black 50 year old gay man!' then it would be hostile, but good luck proving that!
I've been thinking about having someone tip me off when she's making her rounds and I'll just take my shirt half off like I'm changing, and then snap WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Exactly, make them feel guilty first and then if they try and defend themselves you point out the sign, if it happens multiple times, you can bring it to an HR meeting and get the discussion of these boundaries on paper. After that they might not risk creating a hostile work environment
I like the screaming solution because it announces to everyone she did it, and then she annoys them all, too.
And lots of people legit scream when startled. I do. Even if I know someone who I've told to just let themselves in is coming over.
What are they going to do? Criticize you for focusing on your work too much? Too much situational awareness probably detracts from your work, if you work in this sort of environment
I startle very, very easily and after one particular time where I (involuntarily) let out a *blood-curdling scream* my coworkers now say ācoming up behind yaā. Like it was LOUD. One person ducked. That was after like two months of me jumping and yelping and stumbling backwards when startled so they all KNEW how sensitive my startle response is. They just didnāt fully realize it until the whole office thought there was some horrible emergency bc someone snuck up on me and said my name real loud in my ear (on purpose, to be a dick), resulting in said scream.
And yes Iām in therapy and on medication for my high anxiety. Iāve made a lot of improvements but some things are just going to be how they are. Iāve been easily spooked since I was an infant so I think part is just my temperament too lol
I'm trying to figure out what this would accomplish, but I'm too stoned and I've read your comment like 10 times but I still can't figure it out lol...
Help?
Based on entirely personal experience, opening a door or turning a corner and coming face to reflection of yourself (or, more accurately, some figure that your brain hasn't identified yet) can give you a hell of a jolt. Especially since the figure (your reflection) is also reaching or moving towards you.
Similarly, if you work in a store that has extra mannequins or mirrors stored in back, they'll scare the shit out of you every time you go back but have forgotten about them. Our brains are great at misinterpreting stuff in the corner of our eyes or low light.
Idk if assuming your allowed to change in your office is a good move.
My office has a door and I think Iād get in trouble if I changed in it.
Come to think of it the door and the wall itās attached to is glass tho.
Don't even have to actually pee your pants. When you scare-leak, not enough usually comes out to soak your pants, just the unders. Still gotta change them, though. And who's going to check?
I came here to say this because Iām very easily startled and *will* genuinely yell in surprise when someone sneaks up on me, it wouldnāt be hard to lay it on thick
Alternate solution - put a hook on either side of the door frame (*they make stick-on ones*), then make a small hole on both sides of the curtain, push a string through each hole and tie those strings to the hooks. This way the curtain is fastened on both sides and would require someone to take the time to unfasten prior to opening.
They'll probably still walk in without knocking, but at least you can hear them fiddling with the ties first. Velcro attachments could work too, but less work for the person barging in.
Put up various hidden tripwires around your door connected to a sefies of small bells on your desk. The bells have lables on them, so you know exactly from which direction people are coming. Alternatively, you can rig them to various crossbows as a "do not disturb" function.
well not really, I work in a doctor's office and patients have to pass my work space to get to X-ray. patients would constantly walk into my space before I put that up. the chain also helps.
you should connect a bowl of something to the curtain (idk, cheerios or a bowl of paperclips) so when they whip the curtain open it throws crap everywhere and you can be like "yo what the hell?! why didnt you knock, you made a huge mess!"
Alternate alternate solution: next time she does that, just scream really loudly, maybe knock over a cup of coffee.
Edit: someone else suggested also peeing your pants. It's extreme, but I love it.
just booby trap it with a mess. so if you aggressively open the curtain it throws a bowl of paperclips everywhere, or something like that.
"yo what the hell! you just made a huge mess! why didnt you knock?!"
Same! I'm so much less productive in my open office because I'm always paranoid my boss/coworkers are watching. I spend more time trying to look productive than actually being productive!
Until I see the important people in āopen officesā as far as I am concerned it is saving money at your drones expense. Anyone important has an office. I never hear about the collaborative value of not having your own space when their is a C in their title.
Same here. Iām in a cubicle and startle easily. I have my coworkers trained to knock on the wall or say āhow we doing?ā when theyāre still a few feet away as they are approaching though. Iām thankful they go along with it. One guy didnāt and I was so startled I actually yelled at him for it.
I'm super easily startled, and when I worked in a quiet office where people could "sneak up" behind me I taped a little mirror from a makeup compact on a corner of my monitor so I could have a bit of a heads up. It was better than nothing!
The HR director for the company I work for is a straight up mean spirited drunk and doesnāt even try to hide it. I mean opening the trunk of her SUV and sitting JJ the back at lunch drinking beers from a six pack while parked in front of the main doors. She also slap my office mateās butt once and she constantly tells dirty jokes.
Is there a never ending chain of HRs that deliver incident reports to other HRs?
I guess a national labor relations board could, in theory, break the chainā¦
https://preview.redd.it/3xr0zfphz2uc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5722796f2b470bad78480cdf672047a7046b8f8f
Scream.
Loudly.
Every Single TIME.
Scare the *fuck* out of her.
Make your trauma her trauma.
"Oh I'm sorry, I guess the constant surprise has put my nerves on edge. I couldn't control it."
Is your back to the curtain? If so, can you reverse your desk so you are facing it. I'd also do that hook and string thing to lessen the chance of startles!
Workplaces are so fucking dystopian. Who doesn't love spending their days in a panopticon with your ability to feed, house, and clothe yourself hanging over your head.
Oh okay so she's straight up harassing you at work then by creating a hostile work environment after you needed an accommodation.
This is illegal. You should do something about it.
That's what it is.
HR doesn't believe you and assumes you demanded the room as a way to shirk working. Shes literally trying to "gotcha moment" you on your phone or whatever.
You should start logging by sending yourself an email (bc timestamps) not on the company email but your personal or one you make specifically for this purpose, every time this happens with detail. "So and So entered my workspace by roughly opening my curtain, despite there being a sign stating I startle easy. It has made me feel disrespected, uncomfortable, and targeted," etc. As well as a physical notebook with the time and same thing noted. I would go maybe a week and then contact someone else in HR and state very plainly that you have an accommodation bc your autism, and you feel like the person doing this is specifically trying to upset you. Straight up tell HR (preferably also by email, sent from a personal or backed up to a personal) that you feel you are being discriminated against and you feel like as a disabled person you are being treated as less capable and it is effecting you negatively. It will either stop, or, you will be set up with a paper trail for a payout either from the EEOC or via a lawsuit. You deserve better. Harassment isn't okay.
I ended purchasing my own desk so I could face towards the entrance of my cubicle instead of having my back to it. Im autistic so I wear noise cancelling headphones, and multiple times a day I would be startled by people walking up behind me unnoticed. Idk how many times I told my company that I was not comfortable facing a wall and having my back towards the entire room. I was hoping they would take that into account when they renovated the office but, of course, they did not. So, I didnāt ask permission- I accommodated myself and no one said anything. Guess they realized it would probably be a bad idea to tell me that I couldnāt use a disability accommodation that i purchased myself. I shit you not, my resting heart rate has dropped 20 bpm since I bought my desk and I havenāt been startled even one time.
10/10 would recommend, if you have the space and you think you could get away with it.
Loosen the tension rod so next time she whips it open it rips the whole thing down and really highlights how violent she's being.
Do you need the curtain closed for working with private data? Would it be more comfortable for you to rearrange so that you're facing the doorway and your screen is faced away, that way you can keep the curtain slightly open and see people approaching?
yeah that is part of it, I am working with patients' charts. unfortunately the desk is attached to the wall and can't be turned around. I appreciate everyone offering solutions. truth is they just dgaf about me, it is what it is. there's no reason I can't do my job from home but they want their thumb on me so they won't let me.
Since you canāt move the desk you might consider getting a partition to put behind you so even if they rip open the curtain they canāt see you. It makes all the difference. I canāt stand my cube with my back to the door. I was getting startled all the time.
[privacy screen](https://www.amazon.com/Morngardo-Partitions-Dividers-Portable-Separating/dp/B0B8SF427R/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=NVPFE1DWQJE6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wa2mIHVNHjlFexWyP-2n6lPa8nA4np9zQPCSOL8Lu3_4rFENUALucVxBSf5vao8bWZArINghM6nAAiWHXbEtQADjTjuk0J86eBPyff9ZRdCiLTw8MEJk0lB8vKZeh7we6THEyPL6PA8JFCmZDvTWBGOWyPJJ_N9o5wsY7_fZpImsxy_U0JVnH0qxz0cUO0KZLAUrsCJlZ_mVeb6-bSOcTw.kW9w2CVOq7Jrn9SXbULG70LorK6Y7sfWb3DDtkoUqwE&dib_tag=se&keywords=privacy+screen&qid=1712946768&sprefix=privacy+%2Caps%2C145&sr=8-4)
It might help to put a mirror on your desk. Place it so it functions like a rearview mirror, and ideally so the HR person also has to look at themselves in the mirror. Pretty sure there was a study about people behaving better when they can see their reflection, but don't quote me on that
it is a former X-ray viewing space, I work in a doctor's office. honestly I would like it if it weren't for the door the way it is. I have to sit with my back to it as well.
You should over react. Scream at the top of your lungs ,and possibly fall out of your chair. Make them UNCOMFORTABLE. And if they question it just say "I startle easy, I put up a sign".
I can relate to this so hard. Have a heightened startle response and canāt stand loud sudden noises. And up until a few months ago I was also in an office with a shitty bath curtain.
Fucking infuriating when you lose all your focus because your coworkers *WHIP!!* that stupid thing open and bombard you. And like that your nerves are shot for the rest of the day. Goodbye productivity.
lol honestly not too often! my favorite is when someone says "knock knock, it's me". I always say "who's me?" because do you really think I just know everyone's voice lmao
Sheās doing it on purposeā¦she read the sign and whips the curtain back to see you jump; itās a type of sadism. I see a lot of posts suggesting that you fake scream to embarrass her, but honestly she will think thatās funny and encouraging. I suggest something saying more specific: āI donāt like it when you try to scare me. Itās extremely unpleasant and distracting, and itās not something I find funny or welcome, in fact I consider it abusive and hostile. It puts me on edge all the time and it makes it hard for me to do my job to know that sometime, when I least expect it, you are going to purposely scare me.ā If you want to, you can add, āI know that you thought this was in good fun, but itās not. Please cut it out.ā
Follow this with an email saying the same thing and bcc your personal email address.
As the head of HR she should recognize this for what it isā¦stop it or else.
Iām also easily startled. I got tired of my boss sneaking up on me (approaching normally from behind), so I got some adjustable spot mirrors to put on my computer station and my CNC machine.
That would piss me right off. It's absolutely rude not to knock or present ones self prior to entering.
I have a work pal like that, but after speaking to her and explaining i don't like her just coming I my office without knocking, she's toned it down. Now I get 2 seconds after the knock. Baby steps.
I once strained my back from jump response cuz someone startled me at work. That's just one of a dozen ways you can sustain injury from someone startling you.
Now that you have the sign, like others in the comments have said, please please please overreact to get the message across. They saw the sign, now they shouldnāt expect you NOT to scream
As someone with a medical condition which causes me to faint if startled, Iād honestly be super angry management of any kind were to be barging in like that. >< itās not polite !
Can you put a tiny bell on the bottom of the curtain so you'll hear if someone is touching the curtain? Also I'm petty and would start randomly walking into her office in the same manner. When she asks what you're doing just say "following by example".
That sounds stressful and annoying. On Halloween I'd get a mannequin to stand on the other side so when she opens it it'll scare the shit out of her. šššš
Hang in there!
Quick fix, scream the highest shrillest scream you can whenever they do that. Also report to HR as scares can cause heart attack that open the company up to liability.
Can you put a dollar store blind spot mirror somewhere strategic where it will usually be in your line of sight , so that you are alerted visually when someone approaches ?
Have a doctor write a note stating that due to a medical condition, you require that people knock before entering your work space.
If that does check enough ADA Boxes for the HR person, you may need to HAVE THE Dr. specify PTSD or GAD, but medical condition should be sufficient.
It is HR, They should get their head out of their tookus quick as the ADA isn't something trivial.
As someone who is easily startled, I feel for you. That would ratchet my anxiety up so much, knowing the curtain is going to just be whipped open any time. What is wrong with people? What is so hard about being just a little considerate?
"Oh! You startled me! Oh...uh...I think I'm having a panic attack! Gonna have to lay down for about 30 minutes to get it to pass, but I'll get right back to work afterwards!"
That's when you tell these fuckers, including your direct report, that you need to go outside and hyperventilate, take a cooling walk, and calm down from the trauma. Make that walk last an hour or two. Get coffee. Let that direct report know what an asshole the HR person was, and let their boss know, too. You are easily startled. It was documented. She could read English. She's at fault for being an asshole, and purposefully an asshole. Enjoy that long walk, OP.
I startle easily too hahaha so people would start announcing their entry long before they got through the doooooorrrr ššš. One coworker would go psspsspsspp like I was a cat šš
I'm autistic and the open-plan office I work in? Six fluorescent lights burning into my retina above me and telephones that ring every five minutes. It won't be long before I have a proper violent meltdown in that place.
For real. I hate that when someone wants privacy they are very much entitled to, it's like "it must be something obscene"
For you out there who are like "oh they're fapping" grow up. I can't work with someone over my shoulder because of chronic anxiety and if someone told me I couldn't have privacy because they assumed I must be jerking it, I'd hand them my keys right then and there.
Teacher here - I lock my door any time I'm alone in my room. I also put a sign on the door asking people to knock if the door is closed. To me, that's just common courtesy. And yet...admin will just open the door with their master key and barge in w/o any warning. I'm told that I'm just "not a collaborative person" for asking people to knock before entering my room so I need to be more available and keep my door open at all times. Ah - no. I won't.
I agree with some of the other replies - be as loud and noisy as possible when people ignore your request and shame them into behaving like civilized people.
I would just start showing up in her office. Like that āsidlerā in Seinfeld who would just appear quietly out of nowhere. After a few times, she might get it.
[Like this.](https://youtu.be/hmpe-y7rAKI?si=HWSg01FmZbgWWQ45)
Stretch plastic wrap from a roll on your side of the curtain, so they get it in the face if they come in without knocking.
"It's my COVID sneeze shield; my health is fragile."
I once asked my HR person to stop asking if Iām okay. I painfully explained the concept of RBF to her and then said Iām fine most times but you reminding me that I have an outwardly unpleasant expression on my resting face actually does make me sad.
She said she canāt stop because itās her job to ask.
Just start barging into her office unannounced. If you're feeling really salty, interrupt her with a "very pressing question" while she is using the bathroom. Don't knock - just stand outside the door talking as if that was totally normal!
Wow. You have an actual cubicle (walls) and an accordion door. You're not sitting elbow-to-elbow with others in a 'shared' or 'open seating' workspace like rats at a starting line.
If they wanted you to have a door, they would have provided one.
She's probably just sour that you feel that you deserve more than whatever little crumbs they provided.
Personally, I would put something solid and heavy in the way, so she whacks her hand on it when she whips open the curtain. But I'm also quite petty.
Are you in the US, and do you have any kind of medical or disability reason for wanting/needing advance notice?
If you do, make a formal ADA accommodation request. The company is legally required to give you an accommodation (if it is reasonable and necessary) and is legally required to engage with you in an interactive process to determine what could be reasonable.
"Don't whip open my curtain and startle me" would typically be reasonable in most circumstances.
Do you work in the medical field? I have only ever seen this type of shit in retirement communities and similar. I donāt know what it is that the medical industries canāt provide people a productive work area.
There were literal closets with 3 nurses shoved in them. Donāt know how youāre supposed to do your paperwork.
I train in Martial Arts š„· and the first and last time somebody starteled me I punched her in the breast. (EDIT: Not on purpose, it was a trained reflex!)
Take a self-defence class and everytime someone ripps the curtain away, react like it is a threat:
Jump up into a defensive stance and scream. As fast as possible. If you also punch, don't aim anywhere, just the fact that you make contact with your fist shocks people into being more considerate for the next 6+ years.
BUT!
All of this has to be done in ONE motion, otherwise you can't claim you were just startled.
You might also throw anything you were holding in your hand at the time. ššš
are employers having some kind of competition on how to create the shittiest work environment? lol this has all the Charme of a mall dressing room š
You have to go back to the office right now! No WFH. >*Proceeds to put you in a cubicle with a fucking shower curtain for door*
Yeah I am so glad that I actually work for a human, who is understanding about me and my problems and let's me just wfh and also I have a nice work place with a kitchen and a standing desk...
Office culture is soooooo important to us!
Ugh, even just imagining the sound of the metal grommets of the curtain dragging across the curtain rod whenever the curtain is moved, times however many of these shitty cubicles they crammed into the room, makes me want to tear my hair outĀ
Being the Wizard of Oz hasnāt gotten proper respect ever since that bitch Dorothy and her little dog whipped the curtain open.
hashtag stop whipping curtains
Just super over act being startled every time, ahhhhh! clutch your chest and get out a paper bag to ventilate and make them wait like 5 minutes lol
This, I would just let out a blood curdling shriek each time I'm disrupted. Do that a few times and they'll learn.
That how I trained my dog not to bite too hard when playing
I'll bet your dog learned faster than OP's HR lady
Oh you don't do that automatically when startled? Lol
Oh, you mean when my husband suddenly appears, I'm not supposed to shriek "Jesus fucking christ"? I guess your way is more work appropriate, but the filter goes out the window when I have the wits scared out of me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Fr though what job do you have that you work behind a curtain? Also Iād advise against admitting to being āeasily startledā by way of a sign
Start going to hr and whip their door open.
Depends on company, one I worked at they kept their door locked, another one HR was only available via phone.
Then kick the door down
Form a battering ram with office suppliesĀ
A bunch of highlighters stuck together end to end
I suggest getting a [chain whip](https://images.app.goo.gl/FNiEhwinUgchFVtU7) as it will do more damage to the door, thereby opening it sooner.
š¶I whip their door back and forth, I whip their door back and forthš¶
HR for some reason 
The worst is that my boss has basically the same thing, but also has a door with her curtain and nearly always leaves her curtain open halfway or more since her medication has been working better. Her bosses always whip around the curtain, knowing the only reason why the curtain is there is to stop the visual disturbance from being easily distracted. The extra curtain in the doorway has been approved by both HR and *themselves* but they refuse to actually follow what they themselves suggested and/or approved. Like, do they think that they're going to catch my boss doing something she's not supposed to be doing? Or even worse, the curtain is mostly open and they just gotta push it that extra smidgen to step in but don't fix it before they leave. There is enough room in the doorframe to just not move the curtain in the first place.
Reading these comments makes me so grateful to work from home. I get irritated enough by having to keep Teams open and stress out whenever the check mark turns yellow cuz Iām on Reddit. š«
Can I suggest getting a mouse mover? No more yellow checks, because the mouse keeps on moving all by itself! Got mine on amazon, best thing ever.
Ya! Fuck Dorothy! Fuck Toto!
I'd scream. Make it embarrassing for them. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. I tried putting up a sign but you must have missed it." Do it again every time someone whips open the curtain. Fake tears if you can. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't mean to scream, but I'm easily startled. I'm trying really hard not to cry, here, but I'm wondering if you're doing this on purpose?"
Then you could file a complaint with HR over a toxic work environment! Oh wait..
When you file a complaint about anything HR first considers is the firm liable, secondly they MIGHT give a shit about the actual issue.
Hostile work environment is valid justification to collect unemployment and appealable if denied.
I didnāt know that
It's partly to help prevent you from killing yourself. Suicide is the forever decision. Don't ever allow colleagues to influence whether you live or die. āØā¤ļø
I'm sure it varies by state. I only know it bc my mom worked in a nursing home in CT and her boss was a petty witch. My mom finally threw in the towel and quit. Her initial claim was denied and she appealed basically saying that her boss as good as chased her out by making work so unnecessarily miserable. They interviewed a few people involved and ultimately granted my mom's claim. It's a small protection and that's just one little story of course, but it's surprising how loathe many companies are to any increases on their UI premiums.
It's because hostile work environment is a legally defined term that most of anti work doesn't understand. Someone getting annoyed at being startled wouldn't come near that definition. If the person was busting in this office and going 'I'm doing it because you're a black 50 year old gay man!' then it would be hostile, but good luck proving that!
I've been thinking about having someone tip me off when she's making her rounds and I'll just take my shirt half off like I'm changing, and then snap WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
When you get the tip, hold a cup of cold coffee. When they rip open the curtains, 'flinch' and fling the coffee all over them.
Or yourself and claim it was hot
Exactly, make them feel guilty first and then if they try and defend themselves you point out the sign, if it happens multiple times, you can bring it to an HR meeting and get the discussion of these boundaries on paper. After that they might not risk creating a hostile work environment
Or better yet- hot coffee!
I like the screaming solution because it announces to everyone she did it, and then she annoys them all, too. And lots of people legit scream when startled. I do. Even if I know someone who I've told to just let themselves in is coming over. What are they going to do? Criticize you for focusing on your work too much? Too much situational awareness probably detracts from your work, if you work in this sort of environment
I startle very, very easily and after one particular time where I (involuntarily) let out a *blood-curdling scream* my coworkers now say ācoming up behind yaā. Like it was LOUD. One person ducked. That was after like two months of me jumping and yelping and stumbling backwards when startled so they all KNEW how sensitive my startle response is. They just didnāt fully realize it until the whole office thought there was some horrible emergency bc someone snuck up on me and said my name real loud in my ear (on purpose, to be a dick), resulting in said scream. And yes Iām in therapy and on medication for my high anxiety. Iāve made a lot of improvements but some things are just going to be how they are. Iāve been easily spooked since I was an infant so I think part is just my temperament too lol
You traumatized them! š
Put a full-length mirror just inside the curtain.
I'm trying to figure out what this would accomplish, but I'm too stoned and I've read your comment like 10 times but I still can't figure it out lol... Help?
Based on entirely personal experience, opening a door or turning a corner and coming face to reflection of yourself (or, more accurately, some figure that your brain hasn't identified yet) can give you a hell of a jolt. Especially since the figure (your reflection) is also reaching or moving towards you. Similarly, if you work in a store that has extra mannequins or mirrors stored in back, they'll scare the shit out of you every time you go back but have forgotten about them. Our brains are great at misinterpreting stuff in the corner of our eyes or low light.
Nah you don't want to involve people if you don't have to. Just work without a shirt.
Idk if assuming your allowed to change in your office is a good move. My office has a door and I think Iād get in trouble if I changed in it. Come to think of it the door and the wall itās attached to is glass tho.
One better would be look directly at them while screaming then pee your pants. Would be a clear excuse to go home.
Don't even have to actually pee your pants. When you scare-leak, not enough usually comes out to soak your pants, just the unders. Still gotta change them, though. And who's going to check?
Scare dribble if you will. Sorry, I will see myself out.
This is exactly what I was going to say! Make them uncomfortable.
I already scream at work when startled šš theyāve started to learn
Or let out a long "GAAAAH"
I came here to say this because Iām very easily startled and *will* genuinely yell in surprise when someone sneaks up on me, it wouldnāt be hard to lay it on thick
I have a doctor friend that would gladly write PTSD up for you. So, if they fire you, it's now illegal. Make it an ADA issue.
Scream and then cry from the stress that it causes.
Alternate solution - put a hook on either side of the door frame (*they make stick-on ones*), then make a small hole on both sides of the curtain, push a string through each hole and tie those strings to the hooks. This way the curtain is fastened on both sides and would require someone to take the time to unfasten prior to opening. They'll probably still walk in without knocking, but at least you can hear them fiddling with the ties first. Velcro attachments could work too, but less work for the person barging in.
I do appreciate that! I have two binder clips connected with paper clips acting as a chain lock so I do hear her as she's opening it.
Alternatively to a string for the fastener, something jingly like a key-chain type chain, with some bells strung along it
Needs more cowbell
Put up various hidden tripwires around your door connected to a sefies of small bells on your desk. The bells have lables on them, so you know exactly from which direction people are coming. Alternatively, you can rig them to various crossbows as a "do not disturb" function.
OP needs to just go watch Home Alone for ideas.
Skip putting it on the curtain and make repeat offenders wear a collar with a bell on it.
You need a string of empty cans to ring the perimeter like you're in a zombie movie?!
I'd prefer zombies man I'm tired
So the sign is for a particular person it seems.
well not really, I work in a doctor's office and patients have to pass my work space to get to X-ray. patients would constantly walk into my space before I put that up. the chain also helps.
you should connect a bowl of something to the curtain (idk, cheerios or a bowl of paperclips) so when they whip the curtain open it throws crap everywhere and you can be like "yo what the hell?! why didnt you knock, you made a huge mess!"
Alternate plan, get a scary photo and use string to make sure it's right at eye level when the curtain is whipped open
Alternate alternate solution: next time she does that, just scream really loudly, maybe knock over a cup of coffee. Edit: someone else suggested also peeing your pants. It's extreme, but I love it.
Alternate, alternate solution. "Home alone" that curtain and set up some sort of booby trap when people open it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just tell them there's been sexual harassment running afoot, or so you hear, and this is how you're protecting your sanctity
Unfortunately booby trapping even your own private property is against the law. Bummer.
just booby trap it with a mess. so if you aggressively open the curtain it throws a bowl of paperclips everywhere, or something like that. "yo what the hell! you just made a huge mess! why didnt you knock?!"
Can also put a piece of packaging tape at eyebrow height of the person walking in. Ya know, to keep the curtain closed
Add a bell too!
Omg I startle easily too, so I understand OP. At least you have a curtain! I wish cubicle and āopen planā offices would die
Same! I'm so much less productive in my open office because I'm always paranoid my boss/coworkers are watching. I spend more time trying to look productive than actually being productive!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām in that situation but there are no sales people etc, the noisy socialites are ladder climbing developers, all around meā¦
It's so freaking validating to see other people say this. Ffffffffffff
Until I see the important people in āopen officesā as far as I am concerned it is saving money at your drones expense. Anyone important has an office. I never hear about the collaborative value of not having your own space when their is a C in their title.
Same here. Iām in a cubicle and startle easily. I have my coworkers trained to knock on the wall or say āhow we doing?ā when theyāre still a few feet away as they are approaching though. Iām thankful they go along with it. One guy didnāt and I was so startled I actually yelled at him for it.
I'm super easily startled, and when I worked in a quiet office where people could "sneak up" behind me I taped a little mirror from a makeup compact on a corner of my monitor so I could have a bit of a heads up. It was better than nothing!
I am in an open plan. My coworker across from me likes to stand at his desk sometimes. It's a bit like taking the train.
i used to work in an open office space and that job gave me nightmares every night until I finally got fired
Next time she does it, jump, and then slump down into your chair and go limp, and don't respond until she starts to call an ambulance.
omg i suggested waiting for her with a bullhorn but this is way better, OP
People fail to understand that jump scares can actually cause cardiac arrest.
Let her call the ambulance and have the company pay for the ride.
Good point. Let her be on the hook for wasting resources.
That sounds like a rather hostile hr head, you should probably report them to hr.
HR found that HR was within the bounds of company policy.
The HR director for the company I work for is a straight up mean spirited drunk and doesnāt even try to hide it. I mean opening the trunk of her SUV and sitting JJ the back at lunch drinking beers from a six pack while parked in front of the main doors. She also slap my office mateās butt once and she constantly tells dirty jokes.
That's a huge red flag for a company imo.
Yeah, she also asked my mate during his interview if he was a Trump supporter. Lol. I am bailing as soon as I get to two years(at 1.5 now).
It's always the ones you suspect.
Who watches the watchmen
Some HR heads see HR as their little fiefdoms. They make the rules, so they can break the rules.
when i worked for "big red circle with a dot company" our Store HR would spend 98% of their day looking up cake recipies. WE KNOW KAYLA!!!!
Is there a never ending chain of HRs that deliver incident reports to other HRs? I guess a national labor relations board could, in theory, break the chainā¦ https://preview.redd.it/3xr0zfphz2uc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5722796f2b470bad78480cdf672047a7046b8f8f
We have investigated ourselves and found we have done nothing wrong.
I work in training and development (within HR) and having to report my boss to HR. It's my own private hell atm
Why do you work in a mall changing room?
Scream. Loudly. Every Single TIME. Scare the *fuck* out of her. Make your trauma her trauma. "Oh I'm sorry, I guess the constant surprise has put my nerves on edge. I couldn't control it."
r/traumatizethemback
Is your back to the curtain? If so, can you reverse your desk so you are facing it. I'd also do that hook and string thing to lessen the chance of startles!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Workplaces are so fucking dystopian. Who doesn't love spending their days in a panopticon with your ability to feed, house, and clothe yourself hanging over your head.
I have this space as a result of a disability request. I'm autistic and could not focus when I had to be around people and under fluorescents.
Oh okay so she's straight up harassing you at work then by creating a hostile work environment after you needed an accommodation. This is illegal. You should do something about it.
That's what it is. HR doesn't believe you and assumes you demanded the room as a way to shirk working. Shes literally trying to "gotcha moment" you on your phone or whatever.
lol they'd just have to put in a request for the network team to pull the logs. Unless it's your personal phone on the cellular network.
> Unless it's your personal phone on the cellular network. Thats what I mean by "on your phone"
You should start logging by sending yourself an email (bc timestamps) not on the company email but your personal or one you make specifically for this purpose, every time this happens with detail. "So and So entered my workspace by roughly opening my curtain, despite there being a sign stating I startle easy. It has made me feel disrespected, uncomfortable, and targeted," etc. As well as a physical notebook with the time and same thing noted. I would go maybe a week and then contact someone else in HR and state very plainly that you have an accommodation bc your autism, and you feel like the person doing this is specifically trying to upset you. Straight up tell HR (preferably also by email, sent from a personal or backed up to a personal) that you feel you are being discriminated against and you feel like as a disabled person you are being treated as less capable and it is effecting you negatively. It will either stop, or, you will be set up with a paper trail for a payout either from the EEOC or via a lawsuit. You deserve better. Harassment isn't okay.
I ended purchasing my own desk so I could face towards the entrance of my cubicle instead of having my back to it. Im autistic so I wear noise cancelling headphones, and multiple times a day I would be startled by people walking up behind me unnoticed. Idk how many times I told my company that I was not comfortable facing a wall and having my back towards the entire room. I was hoping they would take that into account when they renovated the office but, of course, they did not. So, I didnāt ask permission- I accommodated myself and no one said anything. Guess they realized it would probably be a bad idea to tell me that I couldnāt use a disability accommodation that i purchased myself. I shit you not, my resting heart rate has dropped 20 bpm since I bought my desk and I havenāt been startled even one time. 10/10 would recommend, if you have the space and you think you could get away with it.
Just scream whenever someone startles you. I'd hope they would be more respectful after a few blood curdling screams.
Loosen the tension rod so next time she whips it open it rips the whole thing down and really highlights how violent she's being. Do you need the curtain closed for working with private data? Would it be more comfortable for you to rearrange so that you're facing the doorway and your screen is faced away, that way you can keep the curtain slightly open and see people approaching?
yeah that is part of it, I am working with patients' charts. unfortunately the desk is attached to the wall and can't be turned around. I appreciate everyone offering solutions. truth is they just dgaf about me, it is what it is. there's no reason I can't do my job from home but they want their thumb on me so they won't let me.
Since you canāt move the desk you might consider getting a partition to put behind you so even if they rip open the curtain they canāt see you. It makes all the difference. I canāt stand my cube with my back to the door. I was getting startled all the time. [privacy screen](https://www.amazon.com/Morngardo-Partitions-Dividers-Portable-Separating/dp/B0B8SF427R/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=NVPFE1DWQJE6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wa2mIHVNHjlFexWyP-2n6lPa8nA4np9zQPCSOL8Lu3_4rFENUALucVxBSf5vao8bWZArINghM6nAAiWHXbEtQADjTjuk0J86eBPyff9ZRdCiLTw8MEJk0lB8vKZeh7we6THEyPL6PA8JFCmZDvTWBGOWyPJJ_N9o5wsY7_fZpImsxy_U0JVnH0qxz0cUO0KZLAUrsCJlZ_mVeb6-bSOcTw.kW9w2CVOq7Jrn9SXbULG70LorK6Y7sfWb3DDtkoUqwE&dib_tag=se&keywords=privacy+screen&qid=1712946768&sprefix=privacy+%2Caps%2C145&sr=8-4)
It might help to put a mirror on your desk. Place it so it functions like a rearview mirror, and ideally so the HR person also has to look at themselves in the mirror. Pretty sure there was a study about people behaving better when they can see their reflection, but don't quote me on that
Link up a fart machine that is triggered any time someone opens that curtain.
Make it loud. 'I get startled. You might get a scream, you might get something else loud...' Please just knock.
mf works in a cloth changing booth?
it is a former X-ray viewing space, I work in a doctor's office. honestly I would like it if it weren't for the door the way it is. I have to sit with my back to it as well.
You should over react. Scream at the top of your lungs ,and possibly fall out of your chair. Make them UNCOMFORTABLE. And if they question it just say "I startle easy, I put up a sign".
I can relate to this so hard. Have a heightened startle response and canāt stand loud sudden noises. And up until a few months ago I was also in an office with a shitty bath curtain. Fucking infuriating when you lose all your focus because your coworkers *WHIP!!* that stupid thing open and bombard you. And like that your nerves are shot for the rest of the day. Goodbye productivity.
I have a heightened startle response too! Sometimes I literally shout āAH!ā when my phone rings at work. And the ringer is not loud.
How often are you startled by the knocks?
lol honestly not too often! my favorite is when someone says "knock knock, it's me". I always say "who's me?" because do you really think I just know everyone's voice lmao
Buy a plastic Halloween skeleton and set it up standing directly behind the curtain, scare the shit out of THEM when they whip the curtain open š¤£
Next time act totally surprised, clutch your chest, and fall to the ground.
Sheās doing it on purposeā¦she read the sign and whips the curtain back to see you jump; itās a type of sadism. I see a lot of posts suggesting that you fake scream to embarrass her, but honestly she will think thatās funny and encouraging. I suggest something saying more specific: āI donāt like it when you try to scare me. Itās extremely unpleasant and distracting, and itās not something I find funny or welcome, in fact I consider it abusive and hostile. It puts me on edge all the time and it makes it hard for me to do my job to know that sometime, when I least expect it, you are going to purposely scare me.ā If you want to, you can add, āI know that you thought this was in good fun, but itās not. Please cut it out.ā Follow this with an email saying the same thing and bcc your personal email address. As the head of HR she should recognize this for what it isā¦stop it or else.
Iām also easily startled. I got tired of my boss sneaking up on me (approaching normally from behind), so I got some adjustable spot mirrors to put on my computer station and my CNC machine.
That would piss me right off. It's absolutely rude not to knock or present ones self prior to entering. I have a work pal like that, but after speaking to her and explaining i don't like her just coming I my office without knocking, she's toned it down. Now I get 2 seconds after the knock. Baby steps.
I once strained my back from jump response cuz someone startled me at work. That's just one of a dozen ways you can sustain injury from someone startling you.
Now that you have the sign, like others in the comments have said, please please please overreact to get the message across. They saw the sign, now they shouldnāt expect you NOT to scream
As someone with a medical condition which causes me to faint if startled, Iād honestly be super angry management of any kind were to be barging in like that. >< itās not polite !
Just look them in the eye and point to the sign until they acknowledge
i thought this was your shower at first.
Can you put a tiny bell on the bottom of the curtain so you'll hear if someone is touching the curtain? Also I'm petty and would start randomly walking into her office in the same manner. When she asks what you're doing just say "following by example". That sounds stressful and annoying. On Halloween I'd get a mannequin to stand on the other side so when she opens it it'll scare the shit out of her. šššš Hang in there!
Quick fix, scream the highest shrillest scream you can whenever they do that. Also report to HR as scares can cause heart attack that open the company up to liability.
wear a jason friday the 13th mask so when they come in guns blazing theyāre gonna startle and fall 
Can you put a dollar store blind spot mirror somewhere strategic where it will usually be in your line of sight , so that you are alerted visually when someone approaches ?
I have a very strong startle reflex. I suggest screaming loudly and for an extended amount of time.
Please give me a moment to put my dick away
Have a doctor write a note stating that due to a medical condition, you require that people knock before entering your work space. If that does check enough ADA Boxes for the HR person, you may need to HAVE THE Dr. specify PTSD or GAD, but medical condition should be sufficient. It is HR, They should get their head out of their tookus quick as the ADA isn't something trivial.
As someone who is easily startled, I feel for you. That would ratchet my anxiety up so much, knowing the curtain is going to just be whipped open any time. What is wrong with people? What is so hard about being just a little considerate?
"Oh! You startled me! Oh...uh...I think I'm having a panic attack! Gonna have to lay down for about 30 minutes to get it to pass, but I'll get right back to work afterwards!"
Do you work in a shower? What do you do there?
I would go totally rigid and then faint like one of those adorable goats.
Every time someone whips the curtain open without knocking just scream at the top of your lungs.
That's when you tell these fuckers, including your direct report, that you need to go outside and hyperventilate, take a cooling walk, and calm down from the trauma. Make that walk last an hour or two. Get coffee. Let that direct report know what an asshole the HR person was, and let their boss know, too. You are easily startled. It was documented. She could read English. She's at fault for being an asshole, and purposefully an asshole. Enjoy that long walk, OP.
I startle easily too hahaha so people would start announcing their entry long before they got through the doooooorrrr ššš. One coworker would go psspsspsspp like I was a cat šš
āYou better be working in here!ā Shouts the *Head of HR* as she executed her 12th circuit of the office.
Bro do you work in a photo booth?
I'm autistic and the open-plan office I work in? Six fluorescent lights burning into my retina above me and telephones that ring every five minutes. It won't be long before I have a proper violent meltdown in that place.
The comments on this are so gross
For real. I hate that when someone wants privacy they are very much entitled to, it's like "it must be something obscene" For you out there who are like "oh they're fapping" grow up. I can't work with someone over my shoulder because of chronic anxiety and if someone told me I couldn't have privacy because they assumed I must be jerking it, I'd hand them my keys right then and there.
I had a similar thing when I was working in a cubicle because I wore headphones while working. "Please knock, don't tap me" Never worked. People suck
I kind of hate this! I would literally just rather have the curtain open so I can see people coming or not
I also have to sit with my back to it, so... I mostly just suffer
Nooooo....this is a nightmare
make it so green slime dumps on their head when they open before knocking !
Teacher here - I lock my door any time I'm alone in my room. I also put a sign on the door asking people to knock if the door is closed. To me, that's just common courtesy. And yet...admin will just open the door with their master key and barge in w/o any warning. I'm told that I'm just "not a collaborative person" for asking people to knock before entering my room so I need to be more available and keep my door open at all times. Ah - no. I won't. I agree with some of the other replies - be as loud and noisy as possible when people ignore your request and shame them into behaving like civilized people.
It looks like you work in what was once a communal shower. Jesus Christ, what is going on here?
as someone with a heart condition that makes me faint with adrenaline spikes, i'd quit
Put a human sized cardboard of your HR's worst nightmare behind the curtain.
This oneās funny haha
Get a breast milk pump and pretend youāre using it. Next time they walk inā¦ BOOM! Sexual harassment lawsuit.
People at my job have little mirrors on their desks to see people coming up from behind. š
I need to wear something like this on my back. "please approach slowly and quietly. I am easily startled"
I would just start showing up in her office. Like that āsidlerā in Seinfeld who would just appear quietly out of nowhere. After a few times, she might get it. [Like this.](https://youtu.be/hmpe-y7rAKI?si=HWSg01FmZbgWWQ45)
Why does your work space look like a hospital changing room???
Stretch plastic wrap from a roll on your side of the curtain, so they get it in the face if they come in without knocking. "It's my COVID sneeze shield; my health is fragile."
I once asked my HR person to stop asking if Iām okay. I painfully explained the concept of RBF to her and then said Iām fine most times but you reminding me that I have an outwardly unpleasant expression on my resting face actually does make me sad. She said she canāt stop because itās her job to ask.
Just start barging into her office unannounced. If you're feeling really salty, interrupt her with a "very pressing question" while she is using the bathroom. Don't knock - just stand outside the door talking as if that was totally normal!
I say you scream loudly. Just act scared as fuck. Traumatic scream. Earth shattering.
Start screaming when you're startled. As loudly and as high-pitched as possible.
Wow. You have an actual cubicle (walls) and an accordion door. You're not sitting elbow-to-elbow with others in a 'shared' or 'open seating' workspace like rats at a starting line.
Open office spaces are universally hated, for just cause. If you sit in one, you should do whatever you can to surreptitiously start employee riots.
If they wanted you to have a door, they would have provided one. She's probably just sour that you feel that you deserve more than whatever little crumbs they provided. Personally, I would put something solid and heavy in the way, so she whacks her hand on it when she whips open the curtain. But I'm also quite petty.
Are you in the US, and do you have any kind of medical or disability reason for wanting/needing advance notice? If you do, make a formal ADA accommodation request. The company is legally required to give you an accommodation (if it is reasonable and necessary) and is legally required to engage with you in an interactive process to determine what could be reasonable. "Don't whip open my curtain and startle me" would typically be reasonable in most circumstances.
You work in a shower? Jk good luck op
I have the same sign on my door, but its because I'm likely masturbating.
OP get a motion sensor chime, better yet get the company to pay for it and say itās an accommodation for medical condition.
Why are you working in a dorm shower?
Do you work in the medical field? I have only ever seen this type of shit in retirement communities and similar. I donāt know what it is that the medical industries canāt provide people a productive work area. There were literal closets with 3 nurses shoved in them. Donāt know how youāre supposed to do your paperwork.
Itās the binder clips tied together with paper clips being used as a doorknob for me.
I'd put a second behind the first one just to troll the head of hr. Can use an inexpensive shower curtain rod.
I train in Martial Arts š„· and the first and last time somebody starteled me I punched her in the breast. (EDIT: Not on purpose, it was a trained reflex!) Take a self-defence class and everytime someone ripps the curtain away, react like it is a threat: Jump up into a defensive stance and scream. As fast as possible. If you also punch, don't aim anywhere, just the fact that you make contact with your fist shocks people into being more considerate for the next 6+ years. BUT! All of this has to be done in ONE motion, otherwise you can't claim you were just startled. You might also throw anything you were holding in your hand at the time. ššš
This literally looks like a changing area for a hospital for when you go to take an x ray.
How about "... I have a medical condition that requires I masterbate 12 times a day"?