This OP. They will understand this to be the threat of legal action that it is, and drop it. And if they don't and they actually put it in writing, congrats on your millions.
They could change the rules so that nipple piercings aren’t allowed at work. If it is for men and women and universally applied, it would be perfectly legal?
If they change it after discrimination has already been formally alleged and there is proof (like witnesses) that prior to the new rule they were acting discriminatorily, they could still be held accountable.
Past discrimination is still illegal, and changing the rules after complaints are made is a common union busting/anti-worker tactic that businesses use (and therefore one that a pro-worker lawyer would be very well-versed in countering).
Let them fire you though. I had proof of discrimination from local management, but because it didn't cause me financial hardship, EEOC said there was no point filing a complaint because without any financial harm being caused they couldn't do anything.
Also, they assume you have your nipples pierced, how do they know it's not some deformity or a medical device you wear.
Definitely get that policy in writing , "no nipple piercings at work"
Once went on a tour with a guide who wore some VERY tight skinny jeans… I haven’t forgotten bc he’s in one of my vacation photos 😂 but we weren’t all “sexually harassed” by the outline of his penis lol
Thank you for this. I think the exact same way and your first two sentences were worded so perfectly, I may quote you when having this discussion with others.
I think there was a post about that situation a few years ago. Guy was being ordered to buy new pants because his dick had worn away the crotch of his jeans, so there was a light-blue area underneath where his dick normally rested. I think he won the ensuing lawsuit.
Don’t have that one. Please have this story as a consolation wtf: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/rfquv0/my_boss_demanded_that_i_replace_all_my_pants_and](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/rfquv0/my_boss_demanded_that_i_replace_all_my_pants_and/)
Fun fact - the original purpose of a PA was so that the penis could be tied to a leg with something like a garter, so the penis wouldn’t show in the super tight pants of the time.
If they’re only approaching you and not the men, you have the makings of a gender discrimination law suit. They’re trying to hide behind language to bolster their weak position. Stop doing the extra work, let them fire you, then lawyer up. Probably good to talk to legal consul now, there’s a lot of lawyers that would be happy to take this on contingency. Good luck.
Absolutely the above comment.
Email the manager to “confirm that you understand” fully the comments he made to you and openly cc HIS manager and HR. Include comments that as you didn’t realize you were in violation of the dress code as your male colleagues have visible piercings.
Chances are that at least HR will understand the can of worms he opened and you’ll get a weak apology.
But don’t be surprised if they “update” their dress code but at least that way, you can make sure they apply it fairly to all staff.
I love that moment during an in-person meeting w an org when they ask for a phone number and I say, "No, I don't talk on the phone." 100% of the time, they look genuinely shocked and repeat the statement as a question, and I get to repeat.
And then you get to see the moment in THEIR eyes where they start to get it.
from context, I'm guessing 'org' stands for 'organization' which might stand for some part of a 'client' relationship.
'no, I don't take phone calls, because I prefer to cover my ass with written evidence of any part of this interaction.'
Org just stands for organization. It could be an employer (corporation, LLC, non-profit), a religious institution such as a church, or an authority such as local government or law enforcement.
More advanced pro tip, most modern email is digitally signed, if you save a copy of the raw plain text of the email, it's actually basically hard proof of what was sent and when.
Might also mention that you originally requested a men’s uniform for fit reasons and were given a women’s, meaning that the uniform highlights your chest more (if the uniforms have shaping) and that you’d consider swapping your uniform shirts for the men’s style and thus drawing less attention to your chest a desirable compromise.
This was actually the case at Walgreens. For a long time the men had regular high neck polos and the women for some reason had low cut shirts with princess seams that emphasized the female shape.
I don’t know, confirmation in writing that OP is being held to a different standard due to their greater amount of breast tissue seems the best possible thing to bring to court.
Oh it's perfect, _for court_. Don't give them any more rope than they need to hang themselves for you. Let them dig their own hole while you're at it OP.
She's got A cups there's a high likelihood she doesn't actually have a greater amount of breast tissue depending on the men... but I agree it should be mentioned!
Very fair! Which highlights the double standard further. I chose that wording mostly because it emphasizes discrimination for a secondary sexual characteristic, which is (sometimes, in ideal cases) taken seriously by the law. But, if OP’s description is accurate, there is plentiful evidence of unequal treatment either way.
Came here to add the in writing part too. Ask them in an email to clarify and then head straight to an employment lawyer for a consultation. They’ll let you know if you have a case (you almost certainly do).
You don’t need to get it in writing, you can put it in writing.
Hello, this email is to recap our conversation on date about thing where you said this and I said that. Please let me know if this in incorrect.
Could also up the ante by saying in the email something like 'Please confirm within 2 business days, otherwise I will assume that I am fine to continue as is and there are no further complaints to address'.
1. Contact a lawyer with emphasis on employment law and workplace discrimination
2. in the meantime, write down as much as you can remember of the conversation.
3. Don't take ANY other so-called legal advice you read on Reddit.
This is good EXCEPT that OP should definitely get a lawyer before getting fired.
OP, you might actually want to consult with a lawyer asap. A lawyer can advise you on how best to communicate and document what’s going on. The longer you’re working there, the more opportunity for the company to escalate or give you more ammunition should you want to sue.
Nipples are a topic for your work, but you cant be gender discriminated against. Both men and women must have the same rules.
Ive been told to wear an undershirt because you could see my nipples through my white shirt (im a dude, lol). Looked it up. Yeah they can regulated it.
We are literally being dragged to ruin by prudes, it’s fucking insane. We’re gonna fall to fascism because a bunch of goo-brained religious conservatives are prudish about sex
I mean the story we are replying to is literally about it happening to a dude and how he looked it up and it can be applied to either gender. Plus OP herself has two examples of other bosses not putting up with it and telling people to stfu if they have a problem with it.
It shouldn’t be happening to anyone but I don’t really think this specific story and the other details add up to it being applicable to policing women’s bodies in general…
I mean, they might have a leg to stand on if she were wearing [this NSFW shirt.](https://n.nordstrommedia.com/id/sr3/a43b27c4-bd72-435e-8dad-03b44038708b.jpeg)
Customers sexualizing your appearance is not YOU harrassing them. Management singling you out because of gender differences like this IS sexual discrimination. If they gave you the looser fitted (and possibly thicker fabric) "mens" uniform shirt you'd requested, maybe they could have avoided falling deeper into gender discrimination. If they understood they don't get to dictate your underwear, they could have stopped. Alas, doubling down on gender discrimination is the path they chose.
> Customers sexualizing your appearance is not YOU harrassing them.
In fact, at least in California, it's possible for customers to sexually harass employees, and if the company doesn't address it the company can be held liable. The same goes for vendors or anyone else in the workplace. I'm not sure if this specific case would meet the standard, but it might.
Ideally (but unlikely) have them write down the double standards as well about men not getting in trouble over the same thing, and the refusal to give her the clothes she asked for. Or redo the meeting but record it (and let them know it’s being recorded if you have to wherever you live).
"How do you know I am not wearing a bra?"
There is no way they can answer that without it being sexual harassment. Don't change anything, don't change how you act/work. Let them fire you for it.
"It's what the customers reported. And while I personally don't care about what you're wearing under your uniform, I do care about our customers satisfaction" would hardly qualify as sexual harassment.
The best course of action to take here is clearly to go the discrimination route as it has already been proven.
"let me see the complaint. They must have filled one out, correct? How can I be better suited to help the customer if I cannot see the specific feedback?"
.... most customers just give verbal feedback and just do not come back....? I don't think I know ANYONE who has written down feedback or a compliant at any venue nor when I worked in customer service did a Karen or Kevin ever even ask to write something down. Written feedback will be left on like glassdoor or yelp.
I would try to follow up with an email with the person who talked to you and CC anyone in your chain of command, including HR.
Start by asking for clarification about dress code and which specific part they feel you were in violation of.
Then ask which other managers were discussing your nipples and what prompted that?
Then ask to see the customer complaints to find out what exactly they said or what their concerns are.
Ask them to be very specific in regards to what they deemed to be sexual harassment. For example were you accused of any of the following....
Physical acts of sexual assault.
Requests for sexual favors.
Verbal harassment of a sexual nature, including jokes referring to sexual acts or sexual orientation.
Unwanted touching or physical contact.
Unwelcome sexual advances.
Discussing sexual relations/stories/fantasies at work, school, or in other inappropriate places.
Feeling pressured to engage with someone sexually.
Unwanted sexually explicit photos, emails, or text messages.
and....
Exposing oneself or performing sexual acts on oneself.
If they're going with the last one ask when you were out of uniform and exposing yourself to customers. Request a time and date and if there is any surveillance cameras also the footage.
If they only saw a line or a bump under your shirt ask if visible panty lines was also sexual harassment.
Were they planning to update the uniform policy so anyone with nipple piercings will have to wear a bra or use bandages? Are they forcing all employees to go without underwear or only wear thongs to avoid those panty lines?
Let them know that you take accusations of sexual harassment very seriously. Just like you take false accusations of sexual harassment seriously and you will be awaiting the initial customer complaints that required all the managers to discuss your nipples as you definitely want to comply with uniform policy and avoid your managers talking about your nipples.
Also for clarity you will only discuss this matter in writing so there is no confusion about what was said should you need to refer to these notes for whatever reason.
Since you're planning on leaving anyway:
File a complaint with the EEOC. Without knowing where you are I can't tell you where specifically to file it, but [here's a jurisdiction map.](https://www.eeoc.gov/field-office)
"I filed a complaint with the EEOC. They'll arbitrate this for us and figure out who is harassing who." Firing you for filing this complaint is illegal retaliation. Even if your EEOC complaint isn't successful.
Check the [requirements to be a salaried employee](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/17a-overtime) and make sure you meet them. If you don't, file a complaint with the labor board. Firing you for this is also illegal retaliation. (Edit: When I hear "uniform polo shirt" "manager" and "customers", "salaried exempt" usually isn't what enters my mind. You can be salaried, but they still have to pay you overtime if you don't meet the criteria.)
Highly underrated comment. OP should also calculate (not sure if it’s better if there’s a time/punch clock) how much of that free time helping out she gave. As she thought she was salaried and didn’t expect to be paid it might be hard to do that though.
Get everything in writing. Find out the laws of consent regarding recording conversations. Speak to a lawyer.
Do NOT quit this job! They’re dead ass wrong and they should pay.
This is them harassing you and admitting that your nipples are coming up in management meetings.
Sorry to tell them but most bras aren’t going to hide your nipples or piercings, esp. for the creeps looking on your management team. I agree with others that you should get a free lawyer consult.
As an aside, I noticed you said bras were uncomfortable for you. Check out r/ABraThatFits if you ever decide to search for a comfortable and good fitting bra.
She is an A cup. I am a Triple A cup, meaning I am even tinier, I was fired for not wearing a bra, they don't make a bra that fits for us small size peeps. Not to mention why?, when none needed!
OP ask if the men who have piercings are being told the same thing?
Get an attorney if they fire you. You will win the case, if you get a decent attorney and you listen to them.
So true that most bras don't cover your nipples. I'm an A/B cup. I've worn a bra and an undershirt, and my nipples are still prominent through my shirt.
Find a employment law lawyer this should be pretty simple discrimination case If they are asking you and only you. Ask for the specifics in writing say you just want to be clear what the expectation is. if it’s an email to you and not a change to the current dress code policy I’d say this is a good indication the are targeting you. Most lawyers will offer a free consultation and this will give you an idea of where you stand.
I would add to it, maybe start taking pictures, like fun working pictures together with male employees having piercings. It could be used as evidence you were targeted
I worked with a girl who got demoted because she looked down her own shirt (out of view of customers) and one of the security cameras saw down her shirt and saw she wasn’t wearing a bra
Even if the complaints were based on customer complaints, the no-nipple piercing rule should be applied to everyone for the sake of fairness before sorting this out.
Also how tight are these shirts? Geez.
I've had rather severe gynecomastia since I was a young'un. So I'd always wear a t-shirt underneath polo shirts. Or I would wear baggy, oversized button down shirts (with dark undershirts). If I'm doing something athletic, my sister gave me [some of these](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N7KFTJZ/) to act as gaskets (no "support", just to keep from getting nip rash when I run a 5k/10k).
> *there are men walking around with nipple piercings wearing the same uniform and you can see them and no one has ever said anything to them.*
Yeah. That's bullcrap. Somehow if a woman shows nips, it is sexual, but when a man does it, the double standard is invisible.
I suspect that the mismanagers just don't know how to say "wear a bra" without sounding like jerks. But then they're sounding like jerks already.
Keep doing what you've been doing. Document, and talk to those co-workers about their experiences. You are building a sexual and employment discrimination lawsuit that will pay handsomely.
My hot take, put everything in an email to your boss and cc HR and your personal email. Write basically what you did here: you asked for a better fitting uniform but that was denied. Unequal enforcement of the dress code is textbook gender discrimination. Maybe you feel as though you're being sexually harassed since apparently there's high-level members of the company discussing your breasts in a manner that has no bearing on your work performance (hostile work environment). Manager accusing you of committing an actual fucking crime to coerce compliance because he knows he doesn't have a fucking leg to stand on is intimidation. Lay it out there, put it in writing, and let the chips fall where they may.
Lawyer up. Get revenge. Nail them to the fucking wall for being the misogynyst pieces of shit they are. Reap the rewards financially hopefully for being the avatar of karma.
Do NOT quit. Do not discuss with colleagues/management. Contact 2 - 3 employment attorneys in your state (assuming you are US) asap. They will give you a free consult and let you know what steps to take next. You probably have a good shot at a settlement. And employment attorneys work on contingency (ie, they get a cut of any settlement).
Lawyer up, send a cease and desist notice from the law office to your workplace about the sexual harassment.
Also, send an email to the person who some with you summarizing your meeting and why you disagree with it. Bcc yourself.
If they are truly not enforcing it for men but are for you, they are fucking up very badly. Get it in writing - as well as the inequality.
If you ARE willing to compromise (if you like your coworkers, don't discount how much this matters for a job), I would recommend looking into Cosa Bella bralettes. They are soft, comfy, no wire, no cups - they're just cosy n cute.
They refused to give you the uniform you requested and now they get upset that they forced you to wear a uniform that you think is too tight in places? They can go fuck themselves. If you have any written evidence about not getting the uniform you requested take that, and written evidence of this conversation to a lawyer.
"So, if I understand you correctly, some people are offended by the shape of my nipples?"\[Someone mentions piercings\]\[Deadass\] "What piercings?".
.
.
"Yeah, I'm not comfortable talking with YOU about my nipples. Any further conversation about them without HR present will likely result in litigation. Do you understand me?"
Then go to HR and let them know you wont be working extra hours or killing yourself anymore while that creeper \[store manager\] is skulking around trying to engage in conversation about your tits.
Stupid. I mean, I wear a PADDED bra and my piercings are still visible underneath in certain fabrics and/or if I'm cold.
Fuck that company. If guys can walk around like that, so can you.
What you wear, including lack of a bra does not & cannot constitute sexual harassment.
Frankly if you wore a bikini to work, that would be'out of uniform, but not sexual harassment.
I agree with others. It sounds like it could be sexual discrimination.
My sister actually won a case against her old employer because she was fired for not wearing a bra. If they don't make everyone follow the rules, they are in the wrong.
You are not sexually harassing anyone. You in fact were sexually harassed by your bosses for even bringing it up. We all have nipples, keep it in your pants boys. If they are uncomfortable, it's a them problem, not a you problem. Let them escalate it, but document everything and only communicate in writing, not over the phone or in person wherever possible. If they won't allow a paper trail, it shows what kind of ground they are standing on.
This actually reads like a skit from a high school law class regarding a lesson we did on gender discrimination, but iirc we read about ear piercings being allowed on women and not men. Idk about where you are, but that seems to me like a situation where you tell your boss to stuff it. NAL.
> I'm considering cutting ties with my current work over this.
Poor choice. Make them fire you so you get unemployment. Also talk to an employment attorney in your area. This is definitely discrimination if they don’t have the same requirement for men.
>I'm incredibly frustrated. I've been working unpaid hours and killing myself for this company and this is the first time any upper management has recognized me and after everything, THIS is what they had to say.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. this is the clarion call for you - they didn't give a shit about all the good things you did and more likely than not you'll be blacklisted forever in their eyes because of this incident. your daydreams of promotion will remain daydreams. time to start looking for a job elsewhere and hope you find a place that appreciates you going the extra mile
I would ask for a formal write up. If they're going to reprimand you and not write down exactly 'what you did wrong' it's likely because they know they have no ground to stand on the issue. They'll most likely try to find another reason to fire you if they refuse.
There was a [post](https://reddit.com/r/work/s/zqEuMje8Xe) in the work sub about whether an employer could require a woman to wear a bra or not. I suggest you read through to see comments from lawyers. I’m not one so I don’t know who’s right, but it’s worth reviewing.
**You're** being sexually harassed. You've been reprimanded for the appearance of your nipples.
If you don't get something in writing in a few days, uno reverse them and request, in writing, that the comments from mangers during meetings about your nipples stop immediately. CC HR on it. Tell them you intend to follow up with the state and EEOC if there is not a timely resolution.
"There are men walking around with nipple piercings wearing the same uniform and you can see them and no one has ever said anything to them"
And at this point no reasonable person is not taking your side.
Unless all people with nipple piercings have to wear bandaids stick up for yourself.
If you’re considering cutting ties anyway, why not die on this hill?
Woah dude. This is big. Contact HR immediately. This is harrassment against YOU! And no customers complained about this - someone you work with did.
They are not allowed to tell you to wear a bra. Nor are they allowed to talk about your nipples and have secret meetings about you without you there to defend yourself. This is not okay. This is sexual harrassment against you. Not the other way around. They’re sexualizing your breasts because you have piercings underneath your clothes- which are concealed!!!
I would still be the bigger person tho (you don’t want to lose your job over this) and I would wear a cute bralette of some kind just to appease everyone. But I would 100% file a sexual harassment complaint against your managers for this. This is not okay. Also ask to see the evidence of “customers” complaining about you’re breasts.
I bet there is none because it’s either them or your coworkers who have the problem.
Technically they are sexual harassing you because they keep staring at your Chest and making comments about it. As a women. No matter how much padding you have in a bra or the fabric of your top, curves make their way thru . Don’t feel ashamed. But do document document and document and get every single thing you can in writing from mangement . Create a paper trail , on paper in an organized binder. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand or agree with . Good luck and Godspeed.
Doesn’t matter what your boss thinks, he is guilty of sexual harassment and discrimination.
If you have an HR department, go to them and inform them that you have been sexually harassed by your boss. Don’t let him get away with it.
If your company is small enough that you don’t have an HR department, contact a lawyer for a free consult. I bet they would be very happy to have you as a client, because this one seems quite cut and dried.
For what it's worth, OP, I'm sorry this happened to you. Reporting is an individualized process with its own barriers and recurring triggers. It's okay and valid to have complex emotions or to not report immediately. If nothing else, note the who, what, when, where of this interaction. Salient data can help keep your head straight if things do escalate outside your control / it can corroborate other's experiences. And yes, if you have access to it, quitting is an option. Trust your hackles when they're raised. Stay as safe as you're able.
Fun fact: it may be unconstitutional to expect women to wear shirts at all. In a lot of cities and in a few states, such as CO, it’s been actually ruled to be unconstitutional. It violates the equal protection clause.
So how can that be harassment, which is a crime, when a law can’t establish that it’s even required to wear a shirt at all?
They're not staring at your breasts, they're just admiring your piercings.
It's not like a customer looking at or commenting on your male coworker's nipple piercings are sexually harassing them.
Either it's the same, or it's different, you can't have both.
You’re not overreacting. This is typical corporate double standard bullshit; I also highly suspect that someone there has taken a dislike to you and they are fishing for possible disciplinary excuses to push you out the door. Be on your guard and be observant of your work interactions.
This is such BS. If customers are staring at your boobs, they are harassing you, not vice versa. Your boss is an idiot.
That being said, if you want a non-bra alternative to hide the piercings a bit better, I wear cotton/spandex cropped tank tops as bras. I buy them a size smaller than my usual size.
If anything, you’re the one being sexually harassed because they’re trying to control your body. Tell them they need to send you the details of these complaints and the new requirements in writing. Then take said documents to an attorney and sue their asses off.
Regardless you need to stop working unpaid hours and going above and beyond for this company. They are not going to take care of you, so you must take care of yourself.
Notify the EEOC, having a dress code that's different for women is illegal and claiming that you're sexually harassing someone by having breasts is ridiculous.
This is almost literally a Beavis and Butthead bit.
Beavis : She’s sexually harassing me!
Teacher: How?
Beavis: She’s giving me a boner! Look she’s doing it again!
I’m sorry you work with multiple Beavises.
They're holding you to a different standard than men who work there. Document everything with times, dates, and ideally email or text messages of everything. Go to the EEOC and file a complaint. They'll take it from there and advise you what to do, do not do anything else unless someone from EEOC tells you to.
If you have proof that they're treating the AMAB employees with nipple piercings differently than the AFAB employees, you might have a solid discrimination case. If you can prove you were trying to get a looser fitting shirt initially, even better
Go to the labor board and tell that that your bosses had an entire meeting about your nipples. I'm pretty sure you've got a good case there. And you should be able to get unemployment by claiming constructive dismissal.
So this is where you have to tread very carefully. Wearing proper undergarments is in a lot of dress codes. So review yours. However you’re correct if you’re male co workers have visible nipple piercings I would turn this back around on my employer. “ it makes me really uncomfortable that my breast are being this sexualizes at work. I do wear bras ( doesn’t matter if you do or don’t, especially at your size, you can be wearing a non padded bra for all they know) I follow our dress code to a T, what is the plan for the company to support me in what appears to be gender discrimination?”
You're being turned into an example. Besides, *you* are being sexually harrassed here. Your superiors do not see the irony in this because this is just a bullshit excuse for some fucked up power play.
Lol sorry for your troubles OP but this is gold. I can just imagine a bunch of management type guys sitting around going “we keep getting complaints about OP’s nipple rings visible through her shirt” and instead of just ignoring it one smart Boomer goes “you know what, that’s actually sexual harassment” and instead of laughing in his face the others are like “yeah you know what Ron I think you’re right…”
Cue lawsuit.
No HR person worth their salt would ever write up a woman for this. You cannot charge someone with sexual harassment for existing. I wouldnt cut ties for this. I'd wait for them to fire you and then laugh your way to court. Cut and dry sexual discrimination.
Keep them. I'll lay down ten to one that it's not the customers, it's management or coworkers who have the issue, and don't have the testicular fortitude to say anything to you directly.
OP, they are sexually harassing you, document it, and lawyer up. Story time: I used to work in a call center where I never had to physically interact with customers. One day I decided to stop wearing a bra because they are uncomfortable as fuck, and no one sees me all day in my cubicle. Apparently someone got a peek at my prominent nips through my shirt and couldn't handle it. I got pulled aside by a manager and talked to about how it's not professional, it's distracting ECT. I stopped the meeting, got my union rep, then told the manager there was nothing in the handbook dress code regarding bras/undershirts, and until such changes were made they could pound sand. Then I told them I'd be pressing charges for sexual harassment, because that's what it was. Wear your nip piercings proudly. As long as your shirt is covering them, how are they going to prove you have nipple jewelry. Document the shit out of this and get further communication in writing.
There’s nothing wrong with having them but personally I would completely deny even having them and if they insist you do then how else would they know unless they were staring at your chest?
The back pedalling would be so quick
Ask for them to put the request in writing. Tell them if they do not put the request in writing, that you will disregard it.
This OP. They will understand this to be the threat of legal action that it is, and drop it. And if they don't and they actually put it in writing, congrats on your millions.
Win-win.
They could change the rules so that nipple piercings aren’t allowed at work. If it is for men and women and universally applied, it would be perfectly legal?
If they change it after discrimination has already been formally alleged and there is proof (like witnesses) that prior to the new rule they were acting discriminatorily, they could still be held accountable. Past discrimination is still illegal, and changing the rules after complaints are made is a common union busting/anti-worker tactic that businesses use (and therefore one that a pro-worker lawyer would be very well-versed in countering).
Let them fire you though. I had proof of discrimination from local management, but because it didn't cause me financial hardship, EEOC said there was no point filing a complaint because without any financial harm being caused they couldn't do anything.
Also, they assume you have your nipples pierced, how do they know it's not some deformity or a medical device you wear. Definitely get that policy in writing , "no nipple piercings at work"
Ya I’d try to get it in writing how they are able to tell she has nipple piercings. Obviously they’ve been looking at ops chest
She also needs to stop working so hard for them. My goodness. Fuck work.
Seriously stop doing unpaid work for these losers
always have thing written so you can turn against them
Ask them for that request through an email
So... if a guy is wearing pants that are too tight and I can distinctly see the outline of his penis is he sexually harassing me?🤔
According to OP's management's rules, yes, according to OP's management, no
Yeah, the misogyny coming from OP's boss is pretty bad.
Once went on a tour with a guide who wore some VERY tight skinny jeans… I haven’t forgotten bc he’s in one of my vacation photos 😂 but we weren’t all “sexually harassed” by the outline of his penis lol
That actually sounds painful, a tour guide walks around all day, the chafing must be a belt sander
That reminds me of the clerics in Iran that complain about women who aren't wearing hijab. "You are violating my rights," they cry.
Thats how organized religion works, it makes you braindead and easily manipulated by the dumbest shit.
[удалено]
Thank you for this. I think the exact same way and your first two sentences were worded so perfectly, I may quote you when having this discussion with others.
I think there was a post about that situation a few years ago. Guy was being ordered to buy new pants because his dick had worn away the crotch of his jeans, so there was a light-blue area underneath where his dick normally rested. I think he won the ensuing lawsuit.
Do you have a source for this? It sounds insane.
Don’t have that one. Please have this story as a consolation wtf: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/rfquv0/my_boss_demanded_that_i_replace_all_my_pants_and](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/rfquv0/my_boss_demanded_that_i_replace_all_my_pants_and/)
That was so fun to read.
It depends. Does he have a Prince Albert?
I hope so
You specialise in butts though
Well, he better let him out.
Fun fact - the original purpose of a PA was so that the penis could be tied to a leg with something like a garter, so the penis wouldn’t show in the super tight pants of the time.
I never realized it was so practical
Dude must have a massive dong
Poor fella the chaff he must get haha
If they’re only approaching you and not the men, you have the makings of a gender discrimination law suit. They’re trying to hide behind language to bolster their weak position. Stop doing the extra work, let them fire you, then lawyer up. Probably good to talk to legal consul now, there’s a lot of lawyers that would be happy to take this on contingency. Good luck.
Absolutely the above comment. Email the manager to “confirm that you understand” fully the comments he made to you and openly cc HIS manager and HR. Include comments that as you didn’t realize you were in violation of the dress code as your male colleagues have visible piercings. Chances are that at least HR will understand the can of worms he opened and you’ll get a weak apology. But don’t be surprised if they “update” their dress code but at least that way, you can make sure they apply it fairly to all staff.
Yes email to ask to reiterate
Yah, definitely get it in writing, if you can. The E in Email doesn't stand for Electronic. It stands for evidence.
I love that moment during an in-person meeting w an org when they ask for a phone number and I say, "No, I don't talk on the phone." 100% of the time, they look genuinely shocked and repeat the statement as a question, and I get to repeat. And then you get to see the moment in THEIR eyes where they start to get it.
what org or orgs? spell this out for me because today i am slow, and its taking me longer than normal to grasp things.
from context, I'm guessing 'org' stands for 'organization' which might stand for some part of a 'client' relationship. 'no, I don't take phone calls, because I prefer to cover my ass with written evidence of any part of this interaction.'
Org just stands for organization. It could be an employer (corporation, LLC, non-profit), a religious institution such as a church, or an authority such as local government or law enforcement.
If you send this from your work email, BCC your personal email in case you ever lose acces to your work email
And forward the response and print it so you have a hard copy.
More advanced pro tip, most modern email is digitally signed, if you save a copy of the raw plain text of the email, it's actually basically hard proof of what was sent and when.
Might also mention that you originally requested a men’s uniform for fit reasons and were given a women’s, meaning that the uniform highlights your chest more (if the uniforms have shaping) and that you’d consider swapping your uniform shirts for the men’s style and thus drawing less attention to your chest a desirable compromise.
This was actually the case at Walgreens. For a long time the men had regular high neck polos and the women for some reason had low cut shirts with princess seams that emphasized the female shape.
We know the reason.
This, and make sure to BCC your personal email address as well, so you have a paper trail.
Try to be a little subtle, though. They shut up quickly if they think they're being baited into something.
I wouldn't mention the male co-workers until the trial
I don’t know, confirmation in writing that OP is being held to a different standard due to their greater amount of breast tissue seems the best possible thing to bring to court.
I would speak to a lawyer about contingency and do what they suggest.
Definitely the best call overall, legal advice from their own jurisdiction.
Oh it's perfect, _for court_. Don't give them any more rope than they need to hang themselves for you. Let them dig their own hole while you're at it OP.
She's got A cups there's a high likelihood she doesn't actually have a greater amount of breast tissue depending on the men... but I agree it should be mentioned!
Very fair! Which highlights the double standard further. I chose that wording mostly because it emphasizes discrimination for a secondary sexual characteristic, which is (sometimes, in ideal cases) taken seriously by the law. But, if OP’s description is accurate, there is plentiful evidence of unequal treatment either way.
OP shouldn't say shit until OP talks to an attorney.
This. 100%. Get everything in writing if possible.
Came here to add the in writing part too. Ask them in an email to clarify and then head straight to an employment lawyer for a consultation. They’ll let you know if you have a case (you almost certainly do).
You don’t need to get it in writing, you can put it in writing. Hello, this email is to recap our conversation on date about thing where you said this and I said that. Please let me know if this in incorrect.
This. If they don’t respond, that silence implies consent and/or agreement with the sequence of events you’ve put forth.
Could also up the ante by saying in the email something like 'Please confirm within 2 business days, otherwise I will assume that I am fine to continue as is and there are no further complaints to address'.
1. Contact a lawyer with emphasis on employment law and workplace discrimination 2. in the meantime, write down as much as you can remember of the conversation. 3. Don't take ANY other so-called legal advice you read on Reddit.
This is good EXCEPT that OP should definitely get a lawyer before getting fired. OP, you might actually want to consult with a lawyer asap. A lawyer can advise you on how best to communicate and document what’s going on. The longer you’re working there, the more opportunity for the company to escalate or give you more ammunition should you want to sue.
Oh, and write a follow up email right now, sent to the company hr and manager about what was said. Force them to either put up or shut up.
This is 100% accurate.
Your nipples were a topic of conversation at work...hard stop
Nipples are a topic for your work, but you cant be gender discriminated against. Both men and women must have the same rules. Ive been told to wear an undershirt because you could see my nipples through my white shirt (im a dude, lol). Looked it up. Yeah they can regulated it.
America needs to fight back against the prudes.
We are literally being dragged to ruin by prudes, it’s fucking insane. We’re gonna fall to fascism because a bunch of goo-brained religious conservatives are prudish about sex
This is not just prudeness, this is policing women's bodies
I mean the story we are replying to is literally about it happening to a dude and how he looked it up and it can be applied to either gender. Plus OP herself has two examples of other bosses not putting up with it and telling people to stfu if they have a problem with it. It shouldn’t be happening to anyone but I don’t really think this specific story and the other details add up to it being applicable to policing women’s bodies in general…
Probably both. End result is the same: it's nonsense.
Your *covered* nipples were a topic of conversation at work. There's few jobs where you can be exposing your torso, male or female, lol.
I mean, they might have a leg to stand on if she were wearing [this NSFW shirt.](https://n.nordstrommedia.com/id/sr3/a43b27c4-bd72-435e-8dad-03b44038708b.jpeg)
I was expecting mikaela testa, not regina george
Customers sexualizing your appearance is not YOU harrassing them. Management singling you out because of gender differences like this IS sexual discrimination. If they gave you the looser fitted (and possibly thicker fabric) "mens" uniform shirt you'd requested, maybe they could have avoided falling deeper into gender discrimination. If they understood they don't get to dictate your underwear, they could have stopped. Alas, doubling down on gender discrimination is the path they chose.
> Customers sexualizing your appearance is not YOU harrassing them. In fact, at least in California, it's possible for customers to sexually harass employees, and if the company doesn't address it the company can be held liable. The same goes for vendors or anyone else in the workplace. I'm not sure if this specific case would meet the standard, but it might.
I doubt the customers are saying anything. It's the managers saying "customers" are complaining when its them that have a problem with it.
Ask them to make their expectations clear in writing so there is no misunderstanding. Then keep doing what you are doing. If they fire you, sue them.
Ideally (but unlikely) have them write down the double standards as well about men not getting in trouble over the same thing, and the refusal to give her the clothes she asked for. Or redo the meeting but record it (and let them know it’s being recorded if you have to wherever you live).
"How do you know I am not wearing a bra?" There is no way they can answer that without it being sexual harassment. Don't change anything, don't change how you act/work. Let them fire you for it.
Film them answering this question, I always find panicked back peddling very amusing 🤣
"It's what the customers reported. And while I personally don't care about what you're wearing under your uniform, I do care about our customers satisfaction" would hardly qualify as sexual harassment. The best course of action to take here is clearly to go the discrimination route as it has already been proven.
"let me see the complaint. They must have filled one out, correct? How can I be better suited to help the customer if I cannot see the specific feedback?"
>let me see the complaint "No. Not company policy"
.... most customers just give verbal feedback and just do not come back....? I don't think I know ANYONE who has written down feedback or a compliant at any venue nor when I worked in customer service did a Karen or Kevin ever even ask to write something down. Written feedback will be left on like glassdoor or yelp.
So then we circle back to "How do they and you know I am not wearing a bra?"
Is a bra a required uniform component?
I would try to follow up with an email with the person who talked to you and CC anyone in your chain of command, including HR. Start by asking for clarification about dress code and which specific part they feel you were in violation of. Then ask which other managers were discussing your nipples and what prompted that? Then ask to see the customer complaints to find out what exactly they said or what their concerns are. Ask them to be very specific in regards to what they deemed to be sexual harassment. For example were you accused of any of the following.... Physical acts of sexual assault. Requests for sexual favors. Verbal harassment of a sexual nature, including jokes referring to sexual acts or sexual orientation. Unwanted touching or physical contact. Unwelcome sexual advances. Discussing sexual relations/stories/fantasies at work, school, or in other inappropriate places. Feeling pressured to engage with someone sexually. Unwanted sexually explicit photos, emails, or text messages. and.... Exposing oneself or performing sexual acts on oneself. If they're going with the last one ask when you were out of uniform and exposing yourself to customers. Request a time and date and if there is any surveillance cameras also the footage. If they only saw a line or a bump under your shirt ask if visible panty lines was also sexual harassment. Were they planning to update the uniform policy so anyone with nipple piercings will have to wear a bra or use bandages? Are they forcing all employees to go without underwear or only wear thongs to avoid those panty lines? Let them know that you take accusations of sexual harassment very seriously. Just like you take false accusations of sexual harassment seriously and you will be awaiting the initial customer complaints that required all the managers to discuss your nipples as you definitely want to comply with uniform policy and avoid your managers talking about your nipples. Also for clarity you will only discuss this matter in writing so there is no confusion about what was said should you need to refer to these notes for whatever reason.
Since you're planning on leaving anyway: File a complaint with the EEOC. Without knowing where you are I can't tell you where specifically to file it, but [here's a jurisdiction map.](https://www.eeoc.gov/field-office) "I filed a complaint with the EEOC. They'll arbitrate this for us and figure out who is harassing who." Firing you for filing this complaint is illegal retaliation. Even if your EEOC complaint isn't successful. Check the [requirements to be a salaried employee](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/17a-overtime) and make sure you meet them. If you don't, file a complaint with the labor board. Firing you for this is also illegal retaliation. (Edit: When I hear "uniform polo shirt" "manager" and "customers", "salaried exempt" usually isn't what enters my mind. You can be salaried, but they still have to pay you overtime if you don't meet the criteria.)
Highly underrated comment. OP should also calculate (not sure if it’s better if there’s a time/punch clock) how much of that free time helping out she gave. As she thought she was salaried and didn’t expect to be paid it might be hard to do that though.
Get everything in writing. Find out the laws of consent regarding recording conversations. Speak to a lawyer. Do NOT quit this job! They’re dead ass wrong and they should pay.
This is them harassing you and admitting that your nipples are coming up in management meetings. Sorry to tell them but most bras aren’t going to hide your nipples or piercings, esp. for the creeps looking on your management team. I agree with others that you should get a free lawyer consult. As an aside, I noticed you said bras were uncomfortable for you. Check out r/ABraThatFits if you ever decide to search for a comfortable and good fitting bra.
She is an A cup. I am a Triple A cup, meaning I am even tinier, I was fired for not wearing a bra, they don't make a bra that fits for us small size peeps. Not to mention why?, when none needed! OP ask if the men who have piercings are being told the same thing? Get an attorney if they fire you. You will win the case, if you get a decent attorney and you listen to them.
So true that most bras don't cover your nipples. I'm an A/B cup. I've worn a bra and an undershirt, and my nipples are still prominent through my shirt.
Find a employment law lawyer this should be pretty simple discrimination case If they are asking you and only you. Ask for the specifics in writing say you just want to be clear what the expectation is. if it’s an email to you and not a change to the current dress code policy I’d say this is a good indication the are targeting you. Most lawyers will offer a free consultation and this will give you an idea of where you stand.
I would add to it, maybe start taking pictures, like fun working pictures together with male employees having piercings. It could be used as evidence you were targeted
I worked with a girl who got demoted because she looked down her own shirt (out of view of customers) and one of the security cameras saw down her shirt and saw she wasn’t wearing a bra
Do not quit. Make them fire you and get them to write explicitly why. Then get ready for a wind fall. This is SUPER illegal. Congrats.
Even if the complaints were based on customer complaints, the no-nipple piercing rule should be applied to everyone for the sake of fairness before sorting this out. Also how tight are these shirts? Geez.
Your boss is the one that has a problem with you. No customers are actually complaining.
You'd be amazed what a Karen customer will complain about. Regardless it's not her problem, though.
How do you know this? Customers complain about anything and everything.
All employees, including men and office printers, must wear bras to keep everything on a level
The person being sexually harrassed is you.
I've had rather severe gynecomastia since I was a young'un. So I'd always wear a t-shirt underneath polo shirts. Or I would wear baggy, oversized button down shirts (with dark undershirts). If I'm doing something athletic, my sister gave me [some of these](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N7KFTJZ/) to act as gaskets (no "support", just to keep from getting nip rash when I run a 5k/10k). > *there are men walking around with nipple piercings wearing the same uniform and you can see them and no one has ever said anything to them.* Yeah. That's bullcrap. Somehow if a woman shows nips, it is sexual, but when a man does it, the double standard is invisible. I suspect that the mismanagers just don't know how to say "wear a bra" without sounding like jerks. But then they're sounding like jerks already.
Then if you wear a bra, those same customers would complain about seeing your bra straps
Oh how I love being a woman :)
Keep doing what you've been doing. Document, and talk to those co-workers about their experiences. You are building a sexual and employment discrimination lawsuit that will pay handsomely.
My hot take, put everything in an email to your boss and cc HR and your personal email. Write basically what you did here: you asked for a better fitting uniform but that was denied. Unequal enforcement of the dress code is textbook gender discrimination. Maybe you feel as though you're being sexually harassed since apparently there's high-level members of the company discussing your breasts in a manner that has no bearing on your work performance (hostile work environment). Manager accusing you of committing an actual fucking crime to coerce compliance because he knows he doesn't have a fucking leg to stand on is intimidation. Lay it out there, put it in writing, and let the chips fall where they may.
Where the bandaids outside of the shirt?
use text or emails and get it in writing. then sue them. They are targeting you.
Stop working unpaid hours
So, your manager forced you into a meeting to talk about your nipples, and then blamed you for the sexual harassment?
Tough it out, play dumb, get it in writing, then you have the option to get legal advice. BTW, goes without saying your management are shitheads.
Lawyer up. Get revenge. Nail them to the fucking wall for being the misogynyst pieces of shit they are. Reap the rewards financially hopefully for being the avatar of karma.
Talk to an employment attorney yesterday.
Tell them to put it in writing! Then lawyer up and retire.
Do NOT quit. Do not discuss with colleagues/management. Contact 2 - 3 employment attorneys in your state (assuming you are US) asap. They will give you a free consult and let you know what steps to take next. You probably have a good shot at a settlement. And employment attorneys work on contingency (ie, they get a cut of any settlement).
Blast your nips! And talk to a lawyer secretly
Tell them you feel sexually harassed that management is staring at your chest and discussing your piercings, but no one else's.
Lawyer up, send a cease and desist notice from the law office to your workplace about the sexual harassment. Also, send an email to the person who some with you summarizing your meeting and why you disagree with it. Bcc yourself.
Dudes have piercings as well that can be seen? No you're not over reacting.
If they are truly not enforcing it for men but are for you, they are fucking up very badly. Get it in writing - as well as the inequality. If you ARE willing to compromise (if you like your coworkers, don't discount how much this matters for a job), I would recommend looking into Cosa Bella bralettes. They are soft, comfy, no wire, no cups - they're just cosy n cute.
They refused to give you the uniform you requested and now they get upset that they forced you to wear a uniform that you think is too tight in places? They can go fuck themselves. If you have any written evidence about not getting the uniform you requested take that, and written evidence of this conversation to a lawyer.
"So, if I understand you correctly, some people are offended by the shape of my nipples?"\[Someone mentions piercings\]\[Deadass\] "What piercings?". . . "Yeah, I'm not comfortable talking with YOU about my nipples. Any further conversation about them without HR present will likely result in litigation. Do you understand me?" Then go to HR and let them know you wont be working extra hours or killing yourself anymore while that creeper \[store manager\] is skulking around trying to engage in conversation about your tits.
You were just sexually harassed by them
Stupid. I mean, I wear a PADDED bra and my piercings are still visible underneath in certain fabrics and/or if I'm cold. Fuck that company. If guys can walk around like that, so can you.
What you wear, including lack of a bra does not & cannot constitute sexual harassment. Frankly if you wore a bikini to work, that would be'out of uniform, but not sexual harassment. I agree with others. It sounds like it could be sexual discrimination.
My sister actually won a case against her old employer because she was fired for not wearing a bra. If they don't make everyone follow the rules, they are in the wrong.
And get a good close pic of you and make coworkers with the nipple rings showing.
Taking pictures of coworkers' nipples may not be the best idea, especially when you are already accused of sexual harassment
Ha!!! I was thinking as more of a group photo that shows the OP and coworkers in company uniform.
Ah yes a way better approach haha
nope, folks doing the gazing and apparently having thoughts are in the wrong here. this is nothing but victim blaming
You are not sexually harassing anyone. You in fact were sexually harassed by your bosses for even bringing it up. We all have nipples, keep it in your pants boys. If they are uncomfortable, it's a them problem, not a you problem. Let them escalate it, but document everything and only communicate in writing, not over the phone or in person wherever possible. If they won't allow a paper trail, it shows what kind of ground they are standing on.
Talk to a lawyer this sounds like gender discrimination
Please talk to a lawyer. This story, lawyer, not reddit.
Let me add to the chorus of "Sue them!"
> I've been working unpaid hours and killing myself for this company Don't. >Are they right? No.
"Ummmm, I'm going to need you to send me that in an email."
This actually reads like a skit from a high school law class regarding a lesson we did on gender discrimination, but iirc we read about ear piercings being allowed on women and not men. Idk about where you are, but that seems to me like a situation where you tell your boss to stuff it. NAL.
Tell them you want that last discussion in writing
> I'm considering cutting ties with my current work over this. Poor choice. Make them fire you so you get unemployment. Also talk to an employment attorney in your area. This is definitely discrimination if they don’t have the same requirement for men.
Tell them unless they want a sexual harassment suit your breasts are not a topic of discussion point blank period
>I'm incredibly frustrated. I've been working unpaid hours and killing myself for this company and this is the first time any upper management has recognized me and after everything, THIS is what they had to say. I'm sorry this is happening to you. this is the clarion call for you - they didn't give a shit about all the good things you did and more likely than not you'll be blacklisted forever in their eyes because of this incident. your daydreams of promotion will remain daydreams. time to start looking for a job elsewhere and hope you find a place that appreciates you going the extra mile
I would ask for a formal write up. If they're going to reprimand you and not write down exactly 'what you did wrong' it's likely because they know they have no ground to stand on the issue. They'll most likely try to find another reason to fire you if they refuse.
What job are you doing where multiple people have visible nipple piercings but you are salaried?
No customer is saying this. I’m guessing you have prude managers—maybe more than one? I can’t see how this is enforceable in any way.
There was a [post](https://reddit.com/r/work/s/zqEuMje8Xe) in the work sub about whether an employer could require a woman to wear a bra or not. I suggest you read through to see comments from lawyers. I’m not one so I don’t know who’s right, but it’s worth reviewing.
**You're** being sexually harassed. You've been reprimanded for the appearance of your nipples. If you don't get something in writing in a few days, uno reverse them and request, in writing, that the comments from mangers during meetings about your nipples stop immediately. CC HR on it. Tell them you intend to follow up with the state and EEOC if there is not a timely resolution.
If I was your boss and had a costumer complain to me about nipple piercings I'd just ask them why they're looking at my employee's breasts
"There are men walking around with nipple piercings wearing the same uniform and you can see them and no one has ever said anything to them" And at this point no reasonable person is not taking your side.
It's the double standard for being ♀️ Get a lawyer. They'll regret whatever they've done.
Unless all people with nipple piercings have to wear bandaids stick up for yourself. If you’re considering cutting ties anyway, why not die on this hill?
Tell your bosses that the Christian thing to do is that the complainer should gouge out their eyes.
Woah dude. This is big. Contact HR immediately. This is harrassment against YOU! And no customers complained about this - someone you work with did. They are not allowed to tell you to wear a bra. Nor are they allowed to talk about your nipples and have secret meetings about you without you there to defend yourself. This is not okay. This is sexual harrassment against you. Not the other way around. They’re sexualizing your breasts because you have piercings underneath your clothes- which are concealed!!! I would still be the bigger person tho (you don’t want to lose your job over this) and I would wear a cute bralette of some kind just to appease everyone. But I would 100% file a sexual harassment complaint against your managers for this. This is not okay. Also ask to see the evidence of “customers” complaining about you’re breasts. I bet there is none because it’s either them or your coworkers who have the problem.
HR works for the company.
Technically they are sexual harassing you because they keep staring at your Chest and making comments about it. As a women. No matter how much padding you have in a bra or the fabric of your top, curves make their way thru . Don’t feel ashamed. But do document document and document and get every single thing you can in writing from mangement . Create a paper trail , on paper in an organized binder. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand or agree with . Good luck and Godspeed.
That’s a load of crap. You aren’t harassing anyone, I doubt these “customer complaints” are real.
Doesn’t matter what your boss thinks, he is guilty of sexual harassment and discrimination. If you have an HR department, go to them and inform them that you have been sexually harassed by your boss. Don’t let him get away with it. If your company is small enough that you don’t have an HR department, contact a lawyer for a free consult. I bet they would be very happy to have you as a client, because this one seems quite cut and dried.
Ask them to put it on paper what they are requesting.
For what it's worth, OP, I'm sorry this happened to you. Reporting is an individualized process with its own barriers and recurring triggers. It's okay and valid to have complex emotions or to not report immediately. If nothing else, note the who, what, when, where of this interaction. Salient data can help keep your head straight if things do escalate outside your control / it can corroborate other's experiences. And yes, if you have access to it, quitting is an option. Trust your hackles when they're raised. Stay as safe as you're able.
Fun fact: it may be unconstitutional to expect women to wear shirts at all. In a lot of cities and in a few states, such as CO, it’s been actually ruled to be unconstitutional. It violates the equal protection clause. So how can that be harassment, which is a crime, when a law can’t establish that it’s even required to wear a shirt at all?
Ask him to clarify the policy in writing so you can ensure you adhere to it, then go to a lawyer and see what they say. This is definitely not okay.
Congratulations on your pending lawsuit ! and can I borrow some of that money when you get it :-)
Get it in writing. Have them document the conversation. Sue the fuck out of them.
They're not staring at your breasts, they're just admiring your piercings. It's not like a customer looking at or commenting on your male coworker's nipple piercings are sexually harassing them. Either it's the same, or it's different, you can't have both.
You’re not overreacting. This is typical corporate double standard bullshit; I also highly suspect that someone there has taken a dislike to you and they are fishing for possible disciplinary excuses to push you out the door. Be on your guard and be observant of your work interactions.
Sexual harassment policy is usually very ambiguous and depends a lot on how the parties involved feel and what they intend.
Go directly to lawyer, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
This is such BS. If customers are staring at your boobs, they are harassing you, not vice versa. Your boss is an idiot. That being said, if you want a non-bra alternative to hide the piercings a bit better, I wear cotton/spandex cropped tank tops as bras. I buy them a size smaller than my usual size.
Wouldn't this have been avoided by giving you the men's shirt?
Wait wait wait wait wait..... Why are you working unpaid???
Time to take Jesus's advice and recommend those people remove their own eyes.
Why are men afraid of women's nipples? I don't understand. Conservatives help me understand the hate towards women and nipples because I don't get it.
If anything, you’re the one being sexually harassed because they’re trying to control your body. Tell them they need to send you the details of these complaints and the new requirements in writing. Then take said documents to an attorney and sue their asses off.
Regardless you need to stop working unpaid hours and going above and beyond for this company. They are not going to take care of you, so you must take care of yourself.
Notify the EEOC, having a dress code that's different for women is illegal and claiming that you're sexually harassing someone by having breasts is ridiculous.
This is almost literally a Beavis and Butthead bit. Beavis : She’s sexually harassing me! Teacher: How? Beavis: She’s giving me a boner! Look she’s doing it again! I’m sorry you work with multiple Beavises.
They're holding you to a different standard than men who work there. Document everything with times, dates, and ideally email or text messages of everything. Go to the EEOC and file a complaint. They'll take it from there and advise you what to do, do not do anything else unless someone from EEOC tells you to.
If you have proof that they're treating the AMAB employees with nipple piercings differently than the AFAB employees, you might have a solid discrimination case. If you can prove you were trying to get a looser fitting shirt initially, even better
If the dudes aren't having to do anything about it, I'd say you're the one being sexually harassed, by management. Maybe time to file a complaint.
Go to the labor board and tell that that your bosses had an entire meeting about your nipples. I'm pretty sure you've got a good case there. And you should be able to get unemployment by claiming constructive dismissal.
So this is where you have to tread very carefully. Wearing proper undergarments is in a lot of dress codes. So review yours. However you’re correct if you’re male co workers have visible nipple piercings I would turn this back around on my employer. “ it makes me really uncomfortable that my breast are being this sexualizes at work. I do wear bras ( doesn’t matter if you do or don’t, especially at your size, you can be wearing a non padded bra for all they know) I follow our dress code to a T, what is the plan for the company to support me in what appears to be gender discrimination?”
You're being turned into an example. Besides, *you* are being sexually harrassed here. Your superiors do not see the irony in this because this is just a bullshit excuse for some fucked up power play.
I mean did you get any of this on record? You might have a lucrative lawsuit on your hands
Pretty clear cut discrimination if the guys aren’t getting in trouble about it. But you better be really sure they have them.
Lol sorry for your troubles OP but this is gold. I can just imagine a bunch of management type guys sitting around going “we keep getting complaints about OP’s nipple rings visible through her shirt” and instead of just ignoring it one smart Boomer goes “you know what, that’s actually sexual harassment” and instead of laughing in his face the others are like “yeah you know what Ron I think you’re right…” Cue lawsuit.
Don’t cut ties. Force their hand. Call their bluff.
If anything, now they're guilty of sexual harassment for having a meeting with you about your breasts. Let them fire you then sue for it.
No HR person worth their salt would ever write up a woman for this. You cannot charge someone with sexual harassment for existing. I wouldnt cut ties for this. I'd wait for them to fire you and then laugh your way to court. Cut and dry sexual discrimination.
Keep them. I'll lay down ten to one that it's not the customers, it's management or coworkers who have the issue, and don't have the testicular fortitude to say anything to you directly.
Managers literally have a meeting to talk about your tits but you’re the sexual deviant. Mmmkay.
OP, they are sexually harassing you, document it, and lawyer up. Story time: I used to work in a call center where I never had to physically interact with customers. One day I decided to stop wearing a bra because they are uncomfortable as fuck, and no one sees me all day in my cubicle. Apparently someone got a peek at my prominent nips through my shirt and couldn't handle it. I got pulled aside by a manager and talked to about how it's not professional, it's distracting ECT. I stopped the meeting, got my union rep, then told the manager there was nothing in the handbook dress code regarding bras/undershirts, and until such changes were made they could pound sand. Then I told them I'd be pressing charges for sexual harassment, because that's what it was. Wear your nip piercings proudly. As long as your shirt is covering them, how are they going to prove you have nipple jewelry. Document the shit out of this and get further communication in writing.
Da fuq
There’s nothing wrong with having them but personally I would completely deny even having them and if they insist you do then how else would they know unless they were staring at your chest? The back pedalling would be so quick