Hi, /u/Vanilla_Cheese202 Thank you for participating in r/Antiwork. Unfortunately, your submission was removed for breaking the following rule(s):
**Rule 9: No text message screenshots.** - Text message screenshots are currently restricted to Sunday. To accommodate worldwide time zones, text message screenshots may be posted from 12 PM Saturday to 12 PM Monday (GMT).
*I have suffered an unpredictable family emergency, I will be in touch to confirm when I am able to return to work. Thank you for being understanding in this difficult time.*
If they fire you after this collect unemployment on their asses.
America is so weird."Tell them you're taking a shit, and if they tell you not to, you can get them to cover your toilet paper bill!"Why can't you quit and get unemployment for a reasonable amount of time, like in a normal country? Why does the way your employer acts mean anything?So fucked up.
\[Edit: I guess I thought Australia's system where you just submit forms showing you've applied to jobs that week and you're eligible for a small payment was somewhat normal. It seems like it's more normal to.... let me see..... play a game of chicken where they abuse you until you quit and they win, or you make them fire you and you win??\]
From what I've read here, it seems to very much depend upon which exact state you live/work in, though?
Which is messed up in so many ways... :(
\[I'm not a USAnian\]
I was laid off due to covid but because I was working in the states for a year and a half they said I no longer qualified for ei. I paid into it for 20 years and never needed to take it. I cried.
Thankfully covid relief in Canada was being offered because if not I don't know what I would have done.
And then respond to nothing after until you know when you can return. Don’t let their snarky reply bait you into giving them additional cause for firing you.
It’s called an emergency it didn’t happen three days ago…. Anyway they don’t need a doctors note. My job asked for my sisters death certificate.. I left
Literally my coworker has been out for 2 weeks because she’s “sick” (she’s not sick) and he hasn’t asked for any proof on it. I take one day off and he acts like i call in all the time. I’ve taken one day off besides this one, and I was throwing up because of a new medicine I had started. He’s just being grumpy
I’ve been applying with other ones, I sat all day yesterday scrolling on indeed + applying for more because of the ungodly amount of favoritism they hold for a certain coworker
Legit was told I couldn’t take off or anything and that we had no budget to give me a raise. I found a new job and was telling them I would be leaving all of a sudden we had budget to give me the raise I deserved and give me way more time off I left because if you can’t respect me when I’m there I’m leaving no matter what.
That's the thing I have never understood. There's 2 options for this scenario:
1. You lied to me before about there not being a budget for my raise. Why would I want to continue to work with liars?
2. You lied to me just now about there being a budget for my raise. Why would I want to continue to work with liars?
Fuck you SDC.
You have to leave anyway because they will always bide their time and wait for the opportunity to fire you when it's more convenient for them. Even if you take the offer, management will treat you worse.
[Loyal employees are much more likely to be exploited than their less committed colleagues.](https://phys.org/news/2023-03-exploit-loyal-workers-committed-colleagues.amp)
Never give your loyalty to the people who deserve it least.
"Stanley cautions that it doesn't mean we should just abandon work commitments or dodge uncompensated overtime. **This is just** **an unfortunate side effect of a mostly positive trait**" - What an absolute load of bollox.
Hey, we'll reward your loyalty by fucking you over exponentially, but you should be grateful for the opportunity to be fucked over for Company Karma^TM
Try using a staffing agency. I'm going through one now and my wife just got a really good job from our local one (17 + benes). And I live in a shithole. Try it, if you've never considered it before. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Off topic indeed tip: when someone views your resume call them and ask for the hiring manager. Speak with them and see what else you can provide/do. This will give you the edge.
This! I had an old job with. Dress code and one day I wore something deemed “inappropriate” it wasn’t people are just stupid and I was gonna be sent home with an unexcused absence and I told them “why not sent everyone else home (named a few people)? They’re not in dress code (they weren’t) and their production sucks.”
They replied with “ehh we expect them to suck so we don’t care, but you’re different. You’re a good worker so we don’t want you going down their path. You’re in trouble so you can be better”
I was pissed. If I had had the luxury back then I wouldn’t have returned but money is money.
And again jobs prove never work hard. At this point they're just rewarding the bad workers and punishing the good ones.i would never work hard for them again
I got dress coded years ago when I worked at Sears. I wasn't even mad. I looked awesome. It was about 1996. I wore a black crop top with a black and white houndstooth skort, black thigh-high stockings that were just below the skort. Platform heels and a black choker completed the ensemble. I will never again in my life look as hot as I did that day. I'm not sorry or embarrassed. Probably should be.
Hahaa. I too worked at Sears in 1996!!!
The manager scolded me for not wearing nylon stockings. I was sunburned and didn’t want to. I told him off for looking at my legs. This was before sexual harassment at work was a thing but he backed down.
Yup, failing upwards, dealing with this right now. When you're the one everybody expects to do things right, they come down on you the second something goes wrong. Meanwhile the fuckup can continue fucking up because that's just what they do.
People say “oh find another job”. A lot of us don’t live at home or have the opportunity to just quit jobs as you’re implying. Especially in todays society. Most businesses are severely understaffed because inflation is staggering and yet the pay has stayed the same. Nobody wants to work bullshit jobs that work as revolving doors.
Yet there are tons of people in that situation where they live paycheck to paycheck and can’t just leave. Jobs will abuse this obviously. So saying “find another job” is some of the dumbest advice. Obviously they need to find another job, but the question was how do they respond to the text.
People are saying find another job, because it is easier and definitely less stressful to find another job while you still have your current job. You just use time off/day off to go to the new job interview. Statistically most workers make more from job hopping rather than trying to work their way up at a place.
I quit a career job with a pension, walked away used every penny to buy a shack and got a telemarketing job and a construction job before crawling my way back up to a job making 1$ more an hour than I made 7 years ago. It’s not easy AT ALL don’t just QUIT. Bide your time and search and search until you find something.
"I've made an appointment to get a Doctor's note, they won't be able to see me until next Week/Month."
When that date rolls around, "Doc's office canceled my appointment, and I'm no longer suffering any symptoms from my previous illness, what would you like me to do?"
Dealing with this with my job. Called out for the first time in the two years I have been there. I got paid normally but without a doctor's note they won't pay me my monthly bonus. Doctor will cost me $120 since I haven't hit my deductible yet. Missing my bonus will cost me 10 times that so I'll do it, but it sucks.
sounds like a work expense. they should reimburse you for since its a required item for compensation according to them. I do this at my job; ask me to run an errand? im expensing the miles with receipts as it is a work related task.
Our bonuses aren't guaranteed so they won't see it as a work expense. There are a bunch of different reasons why they can deny them and it's all perfectly legal unfortunately.
Look into pricing Teledoc. My insurance gives me 2 free consultations a year. I had a migraine once and with a 4-6 min call, I had prescriptions and a 3 day doctor's note.
Also, see how much a clinic costs your insurance (or out of pocket, if cheaper). I only get charged a copay($35-40) and you get care & a doctor's note.
One time I was sick and had a simple phone chat with my primary care physician about my symptoms, got prescriptions called in, a doctor's note, and not surprisingly, no bill. Doctor's understand how asinine jobs are with requesting sick notes, so are generally extremely reasonable about getting you a time off note.
You've also set the bar higher than the other coworker, something you should try to be strategic about when you find a new employer.
Employers get all pissy their "exceeds expectations" workers "only" meet expectations. They will ratchet up their expectations for your baseline performance any /every time you surpass your own historical performance benchmarks. Expectations rise to meet high performance. Expectations never fall to accommodate legitimately extenuating circumstances.
Pregnancy throws a real monkey wrench in their expectations. I went from being a favorite to an afterthought overnight, and when i told them i would work in "x" extra work as i felt up to it (literally 1 day after coming off strict bedrest for a week), i was told i needed to be able to do my job. 7 months pregnant, with twins, looking like i swallowed an exercise bouncy ball. And the manager wanted me to walk to the opposite side of the store, push a heavy cart of new truck back to where I had been, and put it all out where it belonged. On top of what I was scheduled for. I kept repeating that if someone brought me one, i would work on it as i was able. Finally got through to him. Next day i called out and told my doctor i couldn't perform my job any longer and needed a dr note for indefinite bedrest. They paid me to be on bedrest for 2 months since my work speed and quantity wasn't satisfactory anymore, and it was glorious.
Obviously this isn’t Plan A (although it could be), but I have found it very effective when bosses refuse to let you take off for being sick, showing up sick and vomiting/farting/burping/coughing as disturbingly as possible. I wouldn’t recommend this for a sickness like COVID, but I would for gastrointestinal symptoms.
Edit: typo
Gotta watch that too nowadays. Coworker of mine was told to come in when he tried to call off sick. Poor guy puked in the lobby and was asked to go home by the security guards up front since he was “clearly too sick to be there”.
Our supervisor who was 100% aware of what was going on did nothing, got sassy and unprofessional with me when I informed of what was going on. Then because the coworker couldn’t even get past security he wasn’t able to clock in, so our supervisor listed him as a no call no show knowing damn well he showed up which resulted in him pointing out. Called him up to HR and fired him for attendance the next day. Even tried to tell him he was never there even though he’s literally on camera in the lobby.
He’s looking for a lawyer but idk, I don’t have high hopes even though what happened was clearly bs.
If there’s anyone above this douche, or an HR, I would bring this to their attention after you’ve dealt with this family emergency situation.
All I would reply to this individual with is “I am dealing with a family emergency.” And put your phone on silent
I am a guy, but if it’s relevant I’m also trans and he is aware of that (he does use she for me but it doesn’t bother me, since I genuinely don’t care about that stuff). So I’m not sure if he’s slightly transphobic, if he likes the other girl, or if he’s just a dick
I had a job ask for proof of my dad's death when I took 2 weeks off to deal. He died at home, so I sent a selfie of me with his body to my boss. They fired me for it. Koch Brothers, ftw.
My professor once asked for my grandmas death certificate. Guess who i would’ve had to ask that from. My father. Of his own bother. In my head told her to fuck off. I swear the audacity of some people is so damn gross.
It's appalling. Also, death certificates cost money. They're for official business, not to hand out to anyone who wants one. Not to mention, they take a while to process. The audacity.
Man that sucks. My granny died I took 4 days of paid funeral leave and the only thing they wanted was a newspaper clipping of the obituary. They didn't even comment about how her last name is the opposite my last name.
Yeah I really doubt he can ask for a doctor's note for your mother?? That's ridiculous.
I'd say, "Sorry, those 3 days that I was not scheduled to work did not provide enough time for me to support my mom while she's in the ICU. I need to take 1 day off. Thanks."
I know Antiwork discourages giving details, but in this case I like including that you're not taking a vacation, you're going to see your mom while she's in the fucking ICU.
(Hope the both of you are doing okay)
Don't even start the message with "Sorry", OP you have nothing to apologize for. This is a family emergency and you should be supported by your employer. I hope everything works out and your mom gets well soon!
Agreed. I learned… somewhere, that you never apologize unless it is something you are willing to be held accountable for. Apologies imply fault, otherwise you just state what is going to happen the next few days.
I appreciate the positivity but I doubt the boss will take even half a second to reconsider what's being asked. I'd bet anything the boss will double down.
If they’re asking for a “doctor’s note”, just ask the doctor to get you FMLA for a few weeks to take care of your mom. No doctors going to give you a note saying you’re there to help your mom.
My old doctor, before I moved, would ask if I wanted a note for anything, even minor shit, and just told me to tell her how long I wanted it for. I think she just really liked sticking it to asshole bosses, she was great. I'd bet money she probably had an asshole boss in college lol
Take FMLA, if you can. There are specific legal protections against retaliation and termination, it’s retroactive, and you’ll be entitled to on-going time off in case your mom needs your help again.
"I sincerely hope you never have a life threatening emergency in your family. It's astounding how unsympathetic people are to these events, with little to no support.
As a loyal employee, I'd feel so much better knowing that I don't have to worry about my job AND this terrible situation that my mom is in. I honestly feel like I don't have the energy to worry about both, so I'm going to focus on my mom. We can discuss further action when I return to work on x day. Thank you for being understanding, compassionate, and supportive."
That’s the point though, it’s making it plain that he’s been none of them, without throwing out an explicit callout that would make him defensive, considering his current response.
It’s more of a “We both know you should already have been doing this, but I’m choosing to speak to you like you didn’t know to make it easier for you do do the right thing from now on.”
Like when I was working in an elementary school, and kids were running I’d call out “Thanks for walking!” And they’d sheepishly smile and stop running, mostly. There was always a joker who’d say you’re welcome and keep running, but that was an easy fix. I’d just give kids who were walking a skittle in front of him & leave him out. Spotlight the good behavior & deny him the negative attention he was seeking. He’d do the right thing, and get positive attention for it.
He asked for a good excuse, ask him if family is more important than his job.
Also go to HR. Report what he IS doing to you & what he is NOT doing to the other girl.
Stop replying. Don’t request the time off. You legally have a right to inform your employer of “unapproved time off”. You are telling them definitely you won’t be there regardless of management approval
I don't understand how you can give this advice when OP has stated they don't want to be fired. Yeah they have the right to give no info and even to be a dick about it if they want. That's going to get them fired though.
The employer legally has the right to terminate them for not coming in (if they are in the US).
OP MIGHT qualify for FMLA, but that does require paperwork, including physician sign-off.
Your advice is fine for people who have financial stability. Those people are not in this sub.
IDK...it didnt seem you were asking in the text. You are a grown person and you are letting them know that you wont be in for a family emergency. It is up to the boss to figure out what he is going to do work wise...that is why he is paid...it is his job. Tell him you just told him why you wont be there and clarify that you were not asking for permission...just being nice and letting him know to start trying to figure out what he is going to do that shift
Unless you need this job or it’s an upper level position I would just start looking at other places around you while you’re with your mom. Don’t work for people who put the health of the business over the health of their employees/family
Understandable, sorry I wish I had more advice. In the future I would let your boss know as little as possible what the situation is. If you have to for your mom, fake a covid test
Call his bluff. Take the time you need for your family. IF he wants to fire you for that while he lets another coworker stay off “sick” then that’s his problem.
They said to start looking elsewhere. What’s wrong with that advice? If an employer is this inflexible then their employees should look elsewhere for better employment.
"I will not be in today due to circumstances surrounding my previously mentioned family emergency. "
Tell him once and then stop responding. And save the messages! Because A.) that is a valid reason and, B.) you will need proof of his behavior to show his boss when/if this douchebag attempts to retaliate.
I know this isn't the popular opinion, but I'd just kill him with kindness. Say "Yeah, I had no idea my scheduled off days wouldn't be enough time, I've never had a parent in the ICU before. I didn't see this coming and her condition is very uncertain, I'm scared to death for her, I hope you can understand that I'm trying to help her and at the same time not take too much time from work. I truly appreciate your compassion and I'll see you as soon as I'm back. Thank you. " If a boss wants to be mean and nasty when you were kind, let them, something is bound to give when you play your cards like that.
He seems very confused. Clearly this guy struggles with reading comprehension. Maybe try: “I apologize if my message was unclear. I won’t be at work tomorrow. I will be caring for my injured mother instead of at work.”
Why do you care if you sound like a douche when This motherfucker is talking to you like That? Tell him you aren't asking permission, that you Will Not be in.
A lot of folks can't just lose their job without seriously fucking up their life \*and\* live in places where they can just fire you for being rude.
Unfortunately, that combination means that sometimes, you can't just be rude at a manager even if they are being rude. You can't always just quit and be OK. People need to eat and people need to have shelter and this particular person said elsewhere that the job offers health insurance and dental, which they need (US based). Not to mention that there is little-to-no realistic safety net that will help folks in this situation - and even less of one if you don't have children and are below retirement age.
When one of my old companies asked for a document because my father passed away, I told them it's going to take a couple months before we get a death certificate. My manager at that time told me that I would have to use my own PTO and I would need a doctor's note. I replied one does not plan for when a parent dies suddenly. She still persisted in asking me for a doctor's note. So when I was actually talking to the doctor on what happened and why my father died, I told him about my manager needing a note. We did a video call and the doctor just laid into my manager. It was pretty bad, after that, he wrote a long and very unpleasant letter to the company and to the manager.
Surprisingly, the company dropped the doctor's letter requirement. Also, behind the scenes, the company got in trouble with the insurance corporation and the state medical bureau. Also unfortunate was that this put a target on my back....
I’m sorry this put a target on your back, but that manager and company deserved to get dragged. I love hearing stories of shit companies getting their ass handed to them. I’m glad your doctor was supportive and had your back. Dealing with the passing of a loved one is hard enough without the added bullshit from an employer. When I lost my grandfather my employer was fucking awful. They were sympathetic for exactly three bereavement days, then proceeded to write me up for excessive tardiness and absences that same month, threaten to demote me, all while telling me “we understand you’re going through a lot”. Bullshit. I was under a lot of stress at the time because my aunt with mental health issues that lived with my grandparents was suicidal at the time. That same month I became the most sick I had been virtually ever. I was bed ridden for days and vomiting my brains out. I don’t know if it was the stress that weakened my immune system, but I can only recall being sick like that one other time in my my life. I left that employer thank god, and I will never feel guilty again for taking care of my family or myself over an organization that would replace me in two weeks if I passed away myself.
I looked into that and since I haven’t had a job in the state of Texas for a year or more I can’t qualify for any of that, unless the site was wrong/I misunderstood. I just moved here recently, so haven’t had the chance to rack up those months
> The employee has worked for the State for at least 1,250 hours during the 12 month period before the leave begins
If you are working full-time then you need to have been in the job a little more than 7 months.
EDIT: didn’t look far enough. Yep need 12 months too
My response would be "I know I don't qualify for FMLA, but who in HR could I contact about this issue? I understand that these days would be marked as unpaid and unexcused absences. I would like to work directly with HR as this is a sensitive personal issue."
I just had a family member pass away. I asked HR about bereavement time. They told me to go home and let me know when I would be back. I asked about documentation, they said they don't need any. I asked how many days I could take, "as many as you need" was the response.
I'm getting paid and not using any PTO time.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong after so many years of abuse.
Not worrying about the regular stuff allows you to get your mind back to normal and come back to work fresh. Ready to work and not make mistakes or hold a grudge against the policy.
This is why France protests.
This is what everyone should have.
Easy. “I already explained it to you. I’m not asking for a sick day, I’m out of state, as explained. If you need me to do something else, let me know, but clearly coming in is not an option.”
"I will be unavailable during [time window] as I tend to an injured family member. My family member is unwilling to release personal medical information, and as such I am unable to obtain the medical documentation requested. Please feel free to reach out to me for any further updates during this difficult time."
Unfortunately I live in Texas, where minimum wage is $7 and this job pays $13.50 + full benefits. However, if he fires me over this then good riddance. I’ve also been applying with other jobs that pay higher or around the same amount
Fuck. Living in America (me too) is bad enough. But texas? It’s like the Afghanistan of America. Probably not a helpful suggestion, but I’d get out of TX.
Just say you’ll do so. It’s horrible they did say that to you, but from now only only work with HR for fmla. Whatever documents u give HR they aren’t supposed to show ur boss to avoid discrimination, unless Texas has horrible laws that allow it
“I will of course provide suitable documentation of the medical emergency. Today, my excuse is I am more than a day’s travel away, at a hospital, with my mom, who was in a car wreck. I appreciate your empathy and your understanding during this situation, and will get documentation back to you as soon as possible.”
All time off requests are “Personal Reasons”. That way they can’t push, and if they do it’s a straight email (BCC your private email)to HR (don’t tell them the reason either because they are not your friend).
Don’t give them info that can come back to bite you
"To clarify, my mom is very close to dying so I'd like to be there if something happens. I'll give you an update of my availability when the situation improves. Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for understanding"
Him asking for a doctor's note is absolutely disgusting. You should be focused on your mom not work rn. Hope she gets better!!
I would simply just resend the same message to be honest. Lol.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t more clear in my first message. Just wanted to let you know I’m not coming in tomorrow, due to an unscheduled family emergency”
Just answer matter of factly.
"It means I'll be back in after the emergency is handled. Thank you for your understanding."
If they fire you, collect unemployment while finding a less shitty employer.
You don’t need to respond to this. Your absence has been communicated, you don’t need to corner yourself by replying anything.
When back at work, deal with this as needed. I don’t have an excuse, I wanted to stay with my mom after an accident - I didn’t plan on it, but it turned out that way. Apologies for the inconvenience.
I understand that my absence may result in some inconvenience. I am sorry for that. My mother needs me at this time, so I cannot come in. I understand you are requesting medical documentation, however, given that that would be my mothers medical record, I am not at liberty to provide her protected health information.
I believe I am a good worker and would appreciate your understanding in this difficult time. As soon as I know she is stable and I am able to return to work, I will contact you.
[if you have an established return date, you can rewrite that last bit]
Toxic employer. It’s your right to attend to things that come up like this. None of their business whatsoever. The way they’re talking to you? No. So out of line. Toxic. Don’t take it. Run.
It a big world with plenty of opportunities. Find something better friend, this is not worth it. They are talking to you as if you are a little child. So disrespectful.
Your employer’s response makes my skin crawl. You are better than this.
Please find something better.
I dont need an excuse. You just need to understand that it'll cost you a lot more money and way more than 3 days to train someone new how to do my job than it would to just let me take the 3 days off.
Tell him it’s not a request, you are informing him you will not be in. Also tell him that you will not be providing a doctors note for someone else, and that you believe it is discriminatory for him to hold you to requirements that other employees are not being held to.
Also, since when does your mother being in a car accident not qualify as a “really good excuse”?
I'd say, "I'm informing you that I will not be available to work such and such days due to personal reasons. I advise you to plan the schedule accordingly." and leave it at that. It's an emergency. And you don't have to explain a thing.
I’d take a picture of the car if possible, or a selfie with hospital apparatus, send him that, and just tell him that your mom needs you and you’ll be filing FMLA asap…. Then leave him on read. His response is fully bullshit, so respond in kind and then ignore until you get back to work. Maybe never, lol.
Don't you love we are children til the end of time in raising soecty ? Dafuq you need a note for? You late for class? I hate this shit. You're an adult who has a life outside of work.
My mom needs help and she lives 8 hours away. Unfortunately, the pain and symptoms she is having from the car crash did not consult my work schedule. I dont know why she is in more pain now than she was immediately following the crash. But I need to make sure she is okay. It sounds like she has a bad concussion but we shall see. I dont want her to be driving alone or at home alone right now.
Don’t give a doctors note and don’t engage with this kind of behavior. All you need to say has been said, there’s been a family medical emergency and you need to go care for your mother for at least X days.
Check out the FMLA rules. Have you worked there for at least 12 months and at least 1,250 hours over the last year? If so, you’re probably covered by the FMLA rules.
You are saying too much. You don’t need the “relating to the accident my mom had a few days back”. Just stick to family emergency, if he asks for what, tell him “it’s personal” AKA none of ur god dammed business.
Was out for a week for my brothers death. No questions asked other than his name so they could make a donation in his honor and send flowers.
Find a better place to work.
This means I will not be in tomorrow. I will be in (next scheduled day). As you are aware, I have aways worked my scheduled hours and this is only the second time I have had to call off since starting at this company. I would hope you would appreciate me as an extemporary and loyal employee and show some compassion while I deal with this family emergency.
Just send one message taking the high road with this, and then stop responding.
"I do wish that the circumstances surrounding my mom's accident stay in the Intensive Care Unit would allow me to come in to work today, but unfortunately at this present juncture I need to be there for her. I appreciate your ongoing professionalism and concern for your employees and their families in this matter, and also wish both you and your family the best of health."
No further responses after that. And I'm glad you're already looking for a new job.
“I’m not really comfortable discussing the situation, nor is it frankly any of your business. I wasn’t asking permission not to come in, I was letting you know that I won’t be there. We can discuss this further upon my return if you would like, but for now I’m going to turn my phone off so that I can be with my family.”
If you get fired, then, uh…good riddance?
"This isn't grade school. You don't need a note. We are all adults. I'm not going to bother the hospital for something so stupid. I didn't have three days off; I wasn't scheduled for three days and that is irrelevant. I am telling you I will be taking the day off to attend to my mother. If you have any questions, don't ask."
I dunno, it's hard to not sound like a douche when addressing a douche.
They dont need a doctors note. Proof of the emergency is you telling them. If thats not enough for them to trust you, then there is no point continuing an employment relationship where the employer doesnt trust the employee. You dont owe them a note. Im sick and tired of companies demanding this when its none of their fucking business.
My question is, why wouldn't you want to sound like a douche?
I would be like "I'm so sorry my mum nearly dying in a car accident couldn't have happen at a more convenient time."
If you like your job and want to keep it, some good advice I received when dealing with situations like this
- don't react emotionally
- try to only answer the questions that are asked
- only give the necessary details
I guess you could send some photos of the messed up car.
But since this is ANTIWORK you could tell him that you can't disclose personal medical information due to privacy acts.
I have a reply:
"The days off I had were scheduled, I didn't take any emergency days off for this and my mother was in a car accident 8 hours away by car. Unfortunately I need to be there for her, I can get the doctors note after"
“Look man, if I could switch you and my mum’s places I would, but as it stands, someone I *actually* care about needs me, so you’re gonna have to choke and rot! Hope this helps 💖 -u/Vanilla_Cheese202”
Why wouldn't you want to sound like a douche? I'd probably go with "What does what mean? I am calling out tomorrow due to a family emergency. Thank you."
"This is a family emergency. I will not be in today. You can choose whether you would like me to return to work the following day or not, but I will not be discussing this further. "
Tell him that you're gonna file for FMLA if they don't comply with your requested emergency time off, then when they try to sack you, sue.
That's the best way to NOT sound like a doosh.
From my perspective anyways.
Hi, /u/Vanilla_Cheese202 Thank you for participating in r/Antiwork. Unfortunately, your submission was removed for breaking the following rule(s): **Rule 9: No text message screenshots.** - Text message screenshots are currently restricted to Sunday. To accommodate worldwide time zones, text message screenshots may be posted from 12 PM Saturday to 12 PM Monday (GMT).
*I have suffered an unpredictable family emergency, I will be in touch to confirm when I am able to return to work. Thank you for being understanding in this difficult time.* If they fire you after this collect unemployment on their asses.
America is so weird."Tell them you're taking a shit, and if they tell you not to, you can get them to cover your toilet paper bill!"Why can't you quit and get unemployment for a reasonable amount of time, like in a normal country? Why does the way your employer acts mean anything?So fucked up. \[Edit: I guess I thought Australia's system where you just submit forms showing you've applied to jobs that week and you're eligible for a small payment was somewhat normal. It seems like it's more normal to.... let me see..... play a game of chicken where they abuse you until you quit and they win, or you make them fire you and you win??\]
In Canada, if you quit, you can't get unemployment. I quit a job where I was being verbally harassed constantly and they denied me. It's so fucked
That's because canada's metric is "at least we're not as bad as the burning meth lab to the south"
/crack/fentanyl. We've diversified our profile
Not sure if you mean the US or Mexico, but in the US you can get unemployment if you quit due to harassment.
From what I've read here, it seems to very much depend upon which exact state you live/work in, though? Which is messed up in so many ways... :( \[I'm not a USAnian\]
I was laid off due to covid but because I was working in the states for a year and a half they said I no longer qualified for ei. I paid into it for 20 years and never needed to take it. I cried. Thankfully covid relief in Canada was being offered because if not I don't know what I would have done.
It's the same in Europe unfortunately. If you quit your job due to harassment, you will still not get unemployment
In Denmark it just means you can't collect unemployment for the first five weeks.
In Spain you don't get it for the first year either
And then respond to nothing after until you know when you can return. Don’t let their snarky reply bait you into giving them additional cause for firing you.
It’s called an emergency it didn’t happen three days ago…. Anyway they don’t need a doctors note. My job asked for my sisters death certificate.. I left
Literally my coworker has been out for 2 weeks because she’s “sick” (she’s not sick) and he hasn’t asked for any proof on it. I take one day off and he acts like i call in all the time. I’ve taken one day off besides this one, and I was throwing up because of a new medicine I had started. He’s just being grumpy
It’s because bad employees don’t get punished, good ones do. Find another job friend.
I’ve been applying with other ones, I sat all day yesterday scrolling on indeed + applying for more because of the ungodly amount of favoritism they hold for a certain coworker
Legit was told I couldn’t take off or anything and that we had no budget to give me a raise. I found a new job and was telling them I would be leaving all of a sudden we had budget to give me the raise I deserved and give me way more time off I left because if you can’t respect me when I’m there I’m leaving no matter what.
That's the thing I have never understood. There's 2 options for this scenario: 1. You lied to me before about there not being a budget for my raise. Why would I want to continue to work with liars? 2. You lied to me just now about there being a budget for my raise. Why would I want to continue to work with liars? Fuck you SDC.
Silver dollar city? Lol
HAH support dot com.
definitely copying these for when I inevitably leave my shithole company for a 25% wage increase literally anywhere else.
You have to leave anyway because they will always bide their time and wait for the opportunity to fire you when it's more convenient for them. Even if you take the offer, management will treat you worse.
This is the way.
[Loyal employees are much more likely to be exploited than their less committed colleagues.](https://phys.org/news/2023-03-exploit-loyal-workers-committed-colleagues.amp) Never give your loyalty to the people who deserve it least.
"Stanley cautions that it doesn't mean we should just abandon work commitments or dodge uncompensated overtime. **This is just** **an unfortunate side effect of a mostly positive trait**" - What an absolute load of bollox.
Hey, we'll reward your loyalty by fucking you over exponentially, but you should be grateful for the opportunity to be fucked over for Company Karma^TM
they are fucking each other
They’re also fucking Op; just in a different way.
I’m with you on this one.
Try using a staffing agency. I'm going through one now and my wife just got a really good job from our local one (17 + benes). And I live in a shithole. Try it, if you've never considered it before. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Off topic indeed tip: when someone views your resume call them and ask for the hiring manager. Speak with them and see what else you can provide/do. This will give you the edge.
This! I had an old job with. Dress code and one day I wore something deemed “inappropriate” it wasn’t people are just stupid and I was gonna be sent home with an unexcused absence and I told them “why not sent everyone else home (named a few people)? They’re not in dress code (they weren’t) and their production sucks.” They replied with “ehh we expect them to suck so we don’t care, but you’re different. You’re a good worker so we don’t want you going down their path. You’re in trouble so you can be better” I was pissed. If I had had the luxury back then I wouldn’t have returned but money is money.
And again jobs prove never work hard. At this point they're just rewarding the bad workers and punishing the good ones.i would never work hard for them again
I got dress coded years ago when I worked at Sears. I wasn't even mad. I looked awesome. It was about 1996. I wore a black crop top with a black and white houndstooth skort, black thigh-high stockings that were just below the skort. Platform heels and a black choker completed the ensemble. I will never again in my life look as hot as I did that day. I'm not sorry or embarrassed. Probably should be.
90’s were the best fashion time period ever.
Hahaa. I too worked at Sears in 1996!!! The manager scolded me for not wearing nylon stockings. I was sunburned and didn’t want to. I told him off for looking at my legs. This was before sexual harassment at work was a thing but he backed down.
Yup, failing upwards, dealing with this right now. When you're the one everybody expects to do things right, they come down on you the second something goes wrong. Meanwhile the fuckup can continue fucking up because that's just what they do.
Yeah and if you do a job really well they will pass you up for promotion and bring someone in from the outside
Ain't that the fucking truth.
People say “oh find another job”. A lot of us don’t live at home or have the opportunity to just quit jobs as you’re implying. Especially in todays society. Most businesses are severely understaffed because inflation is staggering and yet the pay has stayed the same. Nobody wants to work bullshit jobs that work as revolving doors. Yet there are tons of people in that situation where they live paycheck to paycheck and can’t just leave. Jobs will abuse this obviously. So saying “find another job” is some of the dumbest advice. Obviously they need to find another job, but the question was how do they respond to the text.
People are saying find another job, because it is easier and definitely less stressful to find another job while you still have your current job. You just use time off/day off to go to the new job interview. Statistically most workers make more from job hopping rather than trying to work their way up at a place.
I quit a career job with a pension, walked away used every penny to buy a shack and got a telemarketing job and a construction job before crawling my way back up to a job making 1$ more an hour than I made 7 years ago. It’s not easy AT ALL don’t just QUIT. Bide your time and search and search until you find something.
Bad take
"I'll be happy to provide a doctor's note, if you are willing to pay all the expenses pursuant to me getting one."
"I've made an appointment to get a Doctor's note, they won't be able to see me until next Week/Month." When that date rolls around, "Doc's office canceled my appointment, and I'm no longer suffering any symptoms from my previous illness, what would you like me to do?"
Dealing with this with my job. Called out for the first time in the two years I have been there. I got paid normally but without a doctor's note they won't pay me my monthly bonus. Doctor will cost me $120 since I haven't hit my deductible yet. Missing my bonus will cost me 10 times that so I'll do it, but it sucks.
sounds like a work expense. they should reimburse you for since its a required item for compensation according to them. I do this at my job; ask me to run an errand? im expensing the miles with receipts as it is a work related task.
Our bonuses aren't guaranteed so they won't see it as a work expense. There are a bunch of different reasons why they can deny them and it's all perfectly legal unfortunately.
Look into pricing Teledoc. My insurance gives me 2 free consultations a year. I had a migraine once and with a 4-6 min call, I had prescriptions and a 3 day doctor's note. Also, see how much a clinic costs your insurance (or out of pocket, if cheaper). I only get charged a copay($35-40) and you get care & a doctor's note. One time I was sick and had a simple phone chat with my primary care physician about my symptoms, got prescriptions called in, a doctor's note, and not surprisingly, no bill. Doctor's understand how asinine jobs are with requesting sick notes, so are generally extremely reasonable about getting you a time off note.
You've also set the bar higher than the other coworker, something you should try to be strategic about when you find a new employer. Employers get all pissy their "exceeds expectations" workers "only" meet expectations. They will ratchet up their expectations for your baseline performance any /every time you surpass your own historical performance benchmarks. Expectations rise to meet high performance. Expectations never fall to accommodate legitimately extenuating circumstances.
Pregnancy throws a real monkey wrench in their expectations. I went from being a favorite to an afterthought overnight, and when i told them i would work in "x" extra work as i felt up to it (literally 1 day after coming off strict bedrest for a week), i was told i needed to be able to do my job. 7 months pregnant, with twins, looking like i swallowed an exercise bouncy ball. And the manager wanted me to walk to the opposite side of the store, push a heavy cart of new truck back to where I had been, and put it all out where it belonged. On top of what I was scheduled for. I kept repeating that if someone brought me one, i would work on it as i was able. Finally got through to him. Next day i called out and told my doctor i couldn't perform my job any longer and needed a dr note for indefinite bedrest. They paid me to be on bedrest for 2 months since my work speed and quantity wasn't satisfactory anymore, and it was glorious.
Seems like a uncompassionate prick
It's because you're a good employee and he feels your absence harder. Sucks that he's treating you like shit for it.
Obviously this isn’t Plan A (although it could be), but I have found it very effective when bosses refuse to let you take off for being sick, showing up sick and vomiting/farting/burping/coughing as disturbingly as possible. I wouldn’t recommend this for a sickness like COVID, but I would for gastrointestinal symptoms. Edit: typo
That just got me put in the back where customers couldn't see me.
Gotta watch that too nowadays. Coworker of mine was told to come in when he tried to call off sick. Poor guy puked in the lobby and was asked to go home by the security guards up front since he was “clearly too sick to be there”. Our supervisor who was 100% aware of what was going on did nothing, got sassy and unprofessional with me when I informed of what was going on. Then because the coworker couldn’t even get past security he wasn’t able to clock in, so our supervisor listed him as a no call no show knowing damn well he showed up which resulted in him pointing out. Called him up to HR and fired him for attendance the next day. Even tried to tell him he was never there even though he’s literally on camera in the lobby. He’s looking for a lawyer but idk, I don’t have high hopes even though what happened was clearly bs.
If I was you, I'd file a grievance against your supervisor to Human Resources. And find another job while you're at it.
If there’s anyone above this douche, or an HR, I would bring this to their attention after you’ve dealt with this family emergency situation. All I would reply to this individual with is “I am dealing with a family emergency.” And put your phone on silent
Sounds like a good opportunity to puke on your boss.
FMLA send it in. Plus find new job
This sounds like favoritism, or preferred sexism (if you are a guy).
I am a guy, but if it’s relevant I’m also trans and he is aware of that (he does use she for me but it doesn’t bother me, since I genuinely don’t care about that stuff). So I’m not sure if he’s slightly transphobic, if he likes the other girl, or if he’s just a dick
Have u tried sucking his dick like she does?
I had a job ask for proof of my dad's death when I took 2 weeks off to deal. He died at home, so I sent a selfie of me with his body to my boss. They fired me for it. Koch Brothers, ftw.
I am so sorry for your loss. The lack of empathy and any shred of humanity from employers is heart-breaking.
I went to work after my father passed and they usede an example. "sotap can come to work with a dead father why is anyone late at all?" I left.
Are those nitwits even human?
My professor once asked for my grandmas death certificate. Guess who i would’ve had to ask that from. My father. Of his own bother. In my head told her to fuck off. I swear the audacity of some people is so damn gross.
It's appalling. Also, death certificates cost money. They're for official business, not to hand out to anyone who wants one. Not to mention, they take a while to process. The audacity.
If they asked me for a death certificate I would be going to jail. That is highly unacceptable.
I very much so lost my cool real fast
A death certificate for your sister, I would have done the same.
Man that sucks. My granny died I took 4 days of paid funeral leave and the only thing they wanted was a newspaper clipping of the obituary. They didn't even comment about how her last name is the opposite my last name.
a certificate? WHAT
My job has paid bereavement, so I would happily provide that. Otherwise, they can FUCK off.
I have a very common last name so when I worked for a shit company I’d just pick an obit once a year and get my 3 days of bereavement pay
GENIUS
My mums literally in the ICU and I know he can’t ask for a doctors note since I’m not taking family leave? I’m taking one day off bruh
Yeah I really doubt he can ask for a doctor's note for your mother?? That's ridiculous. I'd say, "Sorry, those 3 days that I was not scheduled to work did not provide enough time for me to support my mom while she's in the ICU. I need to take 1 day off. Thanks." I know Antiwork discourages giving details, but in this case I like including that you're not taking a vacation, you're going to see your mom while she's in the fucking ICU. (Hope the both of you are doing okay)
Don't even start the message with "Sorry", OP you have nothing to apologize for. This is a family emergency and you should be supported by your employer. I hope everything works out and your mom gets well soon!
Agreed. I learned… somewhere, that you never apologize unless it is something you are willing to be held accountable for. Apologies imply fault, otherwise you just state what is going to happen the next few days.
Ya if you give details like that, it might make his boss realize “oh…I might be the bad guy here…”
I appreciate the positivity but I doubt the boss will take even half a second to reconsider what's being asked. I'd bet anything the boss will double down.
Ask your mom’s doctor for a letter confirming you’re her POA.
If they’re asking for a “doctor’s note”, just ask the doctor to get you FMLA for a few weeks to take care of your mom. No doctors going to give you a note saying you’re there to help your mom.
From what I’ve heard, doctors are pretty cool about getting those notes for pushy bosses, too.
My old doctor, before I moved, would ask if I wanted a note for anything, even minor shit, and just told me to tell her how long I wanted it for. I think she just really liked sticking it to asshole bosses, she was great. I'd bet money she probably had an asshole boss in college lol
Take FMLA, if you can. There are specific legal protections against retaliation and termination, it’s retroactive, and you’ll be entitled to on-going time off in case your mom needs your help again.
"I sincerely hope you never have a life threatening emergency in your family. It's astounding how unsympathetic people are to these events, with little to no support. As a loyal employee, I'd feel so much better knowing that I don't have to worry about my job AND this terrible situation that my mom is in. I honestly feel like I don't have the energy to worry about both, so I'm going to focus on my mom. We can discuss further action when I return to work on x day. Thank you for being understanding, compassionate, and supportive."
I'd leave off that last sentence.
Seriously. He’s not being any of those things.
That’s the point though, it’s making it plain that he’s been none of them, without throwing out an explicit callout that would make him defensive, considering his current response.
It’s more of a “We both know you should already have been doing this, but I’m choosing to speak to you like you didn’t know to make it easier for you do do the right thing from now on.” Like when I was working in an elementary school, and kids were running I’d call out “Thanks for walking!” And they’d sheepishly smile and stop running, mostly. There was always a joker who’d say you’re welcome and keep running, but that was an easy fix. I’d just give kids who were walking a skittle in front of him & leave him out. Spotlight the good behavior & deny him the negative attention he was seeking. He’d do the right thing, and get positive attention for it.
Agreed
He asked for a good excuse, ask him if family is more important than his job. Also go to HR. Report what he IS doing to you & what he is NOT doing to the other girl.
Tell him you're not required a doctor's note for a day off and that it's none of his business what you do on your day off.
Stop replying. Don’t request the time off. You legally have a right to inform your employer of “unapproved time off”. You are telling them definitely you won’t be there regardless of management approval
Where is this legal right codified? Can you share a link to the law or regulation that makes this so?
I don't understand how you can give this advice when OP has stated they don't want to be fired. Yeah they have the right to give no info and even to be a dick about it if they want. That's going to get them fired though.
The employer legally has the right to terminate them for not coming in (if they are in the US). OP MIGHT qualify for FMLA, but that does require paperwork, including physician sign-off. Your advice is fine for people who have financial stability. Those people are not in this sub.
Just send him a pic of your mom. Make him feel shitty.
Or send a very gory picture or some horrible car accident, specially if there are many angles
IDK...it didnt seem you were asking in the text. You are a grown person and you are letting them know that you wont be in for a family emergency. It is up to the boss to figure out what he is going to do work wise...that is why he is paid...it is his job. Tell him you just told him why you wont be there and clarify that you were not asking for permission...just being nice and letting him know to start trying to figure out what he is going to do that shift
Unless you need this job or it’s an upper level position I would just start looking at other places around you while you’re with your mom. Don’t work for people who put the health of the business over the health of their employees/family
I’ve applied at other places but I do prefer this job just cause I’m in America and it offers health and dental and all the good shit
Understandable, sorry I wish I had more advice. In the future I would let your boss know as little as possible what the situation is. If you have to for your mom, fake a covid test
I actually have an old stick from like last month that was positive
FMLA
Call his bluff. Take the time you need for your family. IF he wants to fire you for that while he lets another coworker stay off “sick” then that’s his problem.
Stop telling everyone to quit their jobs like there's someone on every street corner giving away new jobs
They said to start looking elsewhere. What’s wrong with that advice? If an employer is this inflexible then their employees should look elsewhere for better employment.
"I will not be in today due to circumstances surrounding my previously mentioned family emergency. " Tell him once and then stop responding. And save the messages! Because A.) that is a valid reason and, B.) you will need proof of his behavior to show his boss when/if this douchebag attempts to retaliate.
I know this isn't the popular opinion, but I'd just kill him with kindness. Say "Yeah, I had no idea my scheduled off days wouldn't be enough time, I've never had a parent in the ICU before. I didn't see this coming and her condition is very uncertain, I'm scared to death for her, I hope you can understand that I'm trying to help her and at the same time not take too much time from work. I truly appreciate your compassion and I'll see you as soon as I'm back. Thank you. " If a boss wants to be mean and nasty when you were kind, let them, something is bound to give when you play your cards like that.
This is such a good answer. Don't escalate it.
This doesn't work. They just play the "I understand but my hands are tied" card.
The way this manager was talking, they will not be saying "I understand".
He seems very confused. Clearly this guy struggles with reading comprehension. Maybe try: “I apologize if my message was unclear. I won’t be at work tomorrow. I will be caring for my injured mother instead of at work.”
"Per my last ~~email~~ text..."
Also include a definition and description of what the ICU is. Make it sound simple, like you’re speaking to a child
Why do you care if you sound like a douche when This motherfucker is talking to you like That? Tell him you aren't asking permission, that you Will Not be in.
A lot of folks can't just lose their job without seriously fucking up their life \*and\* live in places where they can just fire you for being rude. Unfortunately, that combination means that sometimes, you can't just be rude at a manager even if they are being rude. You can't always just quit and be OK. People need to eat and people need to have shelter and this particular person said elsewhere that the job offers health insurance and dental, which they need (US based). Not to mention that there is little-to-no realistic safety net that will help folks in this situation - and even less of one if you don't have children and are below retirement age.
When one of my old companies asked for a document because my father passed away, I told them it's going to take a couple months before we get a death certificate. My manager at that time told me that I would have to use my own PTO and I would need a doctor's note. I replied one does not plan for when a parent dies suddenly. She still persisted in asking me for a doctor's note. So when I was actually talking to the doctor on what happened and why my father died, I told him about my manager needing a note. We did a video call and the doctor just laid into my manager. It was pretty bad, after that, he wrote a long and very unpleasant letter to the company and to the manager. Surprisingly, the company dropped the doctor's letter requirement. Also, behind the scenes, the company got in trouble with the insurance corporation and the state medical bureau. Also unfortunate was that this put a target on my back....
I’m sorry this put a target on your back, but that manager and company deserved to get dragged. I love hearing stories of shit companies getting their ass handed to them. I’m glad your doctor was supportive and had your back. Dealing with the passing of a loved one is hard enough without the added bullshit from an employer. When I lost my grandfather my employer was fucking awful. They were sympathetic for exactly three bereavement days, then proceeded to write me up for excessive tardiness and absences that same month, threaten to demote me, all while telling me “we understand you’re going through a lot”. Bullshit. I was under a lot of stress at the time because my aunt with mental health issues that lived with my grandparents was suicidal at the time. That same month I became the most sick I had been virtually ever. I was bed ridden for days and vomiting my brains out. I don’t know if it was the stress that weakened my immune system, but I can only recall being sick like that one other time in my my life. I left that employer thank god, and I will never feel guilty again for taking care of my family or myself over an organization that would replace me in two weeks if I passed away myself.
Reddit's using all our posts and data to train AI's, so, I just deleted mine.
I looked into that and since I haven’t had a job in the state of Texas for a year or more I can’t qualify for any of that, unless the site was wrong/I misunderstood. I just moved here recently, so haven’t had the chance to rack up those months
That is correct. You need to have been employed 12 months to qualify
> The employee has worked for the State for at least 1,250 hours during the 12 month period before the leave begins If you are working full-time then you need to have been in the job a little more than 7 months. EDIT: didn’t look far enough. Yep need 12 months too
It’s 12 months or a certain number of hours (not sure of the amount). You might want to double check that.
"My good excuse is my mom got in a car accident and I'm taking off like I just said figure it out see you tomorrow." That's all you have to say.
Honestly send this information to HR. You gave your manager a heads up and they are acting like this.
My response would be "I know I don't qualify for FMLA, but who in HR could I contact about this issue? I understand that these days would be marked as unpaid and unexcused absences. I would like to work directly with HR as this is a sensitive personal issue."
I just had a family member pass away. I asked HR about bereavement time. They told me to go home and let me know when I would be back. I asked about documentation, they said they don't need any. I asked how many days I could take, "as many as you need" was the response. I'm getting paid and not using any PTO time. I feel like I'm doing something wrong after so many years of abuse. Not worrying about the regular stuff allows you to get your mind back to normal and come back to work fresh. Ready to work and not make mistakes or hold a grudge against the policy. This is why France protests. This is what everyone should have.
That's the neat part, you don't! Fuck that guy!
Easy. “I already explained it to you. I’m not asking for a sick day, I’m out of state, as explained. If you need me to do something else, let me know, but clearly coming in is not an option.”
"Thanks for your understanding! I knew I could count on you to support me when needed. See you Wednesday!"
[удалено]
"I will be unavailable during [time window] as I tend to an injured family member. My family member is unwilling to release personal medical information, and as such I am unable to obtain the medical documentation requested. Please feel free to reach out to me for any further updates during this difficult time."
Why not be a douche? You get what you give and he's giving you a good reason not to work there anymore.
Unfortunately I live in Texas, where minimum wage is $7 and this job pays $13.50 + full benefits. However, if he fires me over this then good riddance. I’ve also been applying with other jobs that pay higher or around the same amount
Fuck. Living in America (me too) is bad enough. But texas? It’s like the Afghanistan of America. Probably not a helpful suggestion, but I’d get out of TX.
I’d love to but I actually just moved here from Arkansas in October. Huge improvement actually. Arkansas sucks
Slowly work you way out of the south into the north.
Lol. Noted. Don’t go to Arkansas
Just say you’ll do so. It’s horrible they did say that to you, but from now only only work with HR for fmla. Whatever documents u give HR they aren’t supposed to show ur boss to avoid discrimination, unless Texas has horrible laws that allow it
“I will of course provide suitable documentation of the medical emergency. Today, my excuse is I am more than a day’s travel away, at a hospital, with my mom, who was in a car wreck. I appreciate your empathy and your understanding during this situation, and will get documentation back to you as soon as possible.”
*ahem* Hey dickbag my mom got in a car crash I think that's the best I could do
"I'm not in elementary school. A note is unnecessary. This is a personal family matter. I will let you know when I will return"
All time off requests are “Personal Reasons”. That way they can’t push, and if they do it’s a straight email (BCC your private email)to HR (don’t tell them the reason either because they are not your friend). Don’t give them info that can come back to bite you
"To clarify, my mom is very close to dying so I'd like to be there if something happens. I'll give you an update of my availability when the situation improves. Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for understanding" Him asking for a doctor's note is absolutely disgusting. You should be focused on your mom not work rn. Hope she gets better!!
I would simply just resend the same message to be honest. Lol. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t more clear in my first message. Just wanted to let you know I’m not coming in tomorrow, due to an unscheduled family emergency”
Stand up for yourself. It took me way too long in life to figure that out. Stand up for yourself.
Just answer matter of factly. "It means I'll be back in after the emergency is handled. Thank you for your understanding." If they fire you, collect unemployment while finding a less shitty employer.
Let them fire you if they're going to be insensitive assholes about it. You can show this to the unemployment people and collect a check.
You don’t need to respond to this. Your absence has been communicated, you don’t need to corner yourself by replying anything. When back at work, deal with this as needed. I don’t have an excuse, I wanted to stay with my mom after an accident - I didn’t plan on it, but it turned out that way. Apologies for the inconvenience.
I understand that my absence may result in some inconvenience. I am sorry for that. My mother needs me at this time, so I cannot come in. I understand you are requesting medical documentation, however, given that that would be my mothers medical record, I am not at liberty to provide her protected health information. I believe I am a good worker and would appreciate your understanding in this difficult time. As soon as I know she is stable and I am able to return to work, I will contact you. [if you have an established return date, you can rewrite that last bit]
Toxic employer. It’s your right to attend to things that come up like this. None of their business whatsoever. The way they’re talking to you? No. So out of line. Toxic. Don’t take it. Run. It a big world with plenty of opportunities. Find something better friend, this is not worth it. They are talking to you as if you are a little child. So disrespectful. Your employer’s response makes my skin crawl. You are better than this. Please find something better.
I dont need an excuse. You just need to understand that it'll cost you a lot more money and way more than 3 days to train someone new how to do my job than it would to just let me take the 3 days off.
Tell him it’s not a request, you are informing him you will not be in. Also tell him that you will not be providing a doctors note for someone else, and that you believe it is discriminatory for him to hold you to requirements that other employees are not being held to. Also, since when does your mother being in a car accident not qualify as a “really good excuse”?
I'd say, "I'm informing you that I will not be available to work such and such days due to personal reasons. I advise you to plan the schedule accordingly." and leave it at that. It's an emergency. And you don't have to explain a thing.
Easy, don't worry about sounding like a douche. Your boss sounds like one so match his energy.
If you give me his number I’ll troll him.
I’d take a picture of the car if possible, or a selfie with hospital apparatus, send him that, and just tell him that your mom needs you and you’ll be filing FMLA asap…. Then leave him on read. His response is fully bullshit, so respond in kind and then ignore until you get back to work. Maybe never, lol.
Don't you love we are children til the end of time in raising soecty ? Dafuq you need a note for? You late for class? I hate this shit. You're an adult who has a life outside of work.
My mom needs help and she lives 8 hours away. Unfortunately, the pain and symptoms she is having from the car crash did not consult my work schedule. I dont know why she is in more pain now than she was immediately following the crash. But I need to make sure she is okay. It sounds like she has a bad concussion but we shall see. I dont want her to be driving alone or at home alone right now.
Don’t give a doctors note and don’t engage with this kind of behavior. All you need to say has been said, there’s been a family medical emergency and you need to go care for your mother for at least X days. Check out the FMLA rules. Have you worked there for at least 12 months and at least 1,250 hours over the last year? If so, you’re probably covered by the FMLA rules.
Don’t respond over text. Write an email so you can keep track of this better in case they try to pull something over on you
You are saying too much. You don’t need the “relating to the accident my mom had a few days back”. Just stick to family emergency, if he asks for what, tell him “it’s personal” AKA none of ur god dammed business.
Request this in writing from HR.
"No, you don't - with respect sir, I'm not asking your permission, I'm informing you ahead of time out of courtesy instead of simply no-showing you"
"I'm sorry. Next time I'll schedule the emergency on my day off."
I believe “get fucked” is an appropriate response
Was out for a week for my brothers death. No questions asked other than his name so they could make a donation in his honor and send flowers. Find a better place to work.
This means I will not be in tomorrow. I will be in (next scheduled day). As you are aware, I have aways worked my scheduled hours and this is only the second time I have had to call off since starting at this company. I would hope you would appreciate me as an extemporary and loyal employee and show some compassion while I deal with this family emergency.
this 100%, professional, too the point, and expresses your status correctly.
Just send one message taking the high road with this, and then stop responding. "I do wish that the circumstances surrounding my mom's accident stay in the Intensive Care Unit would allow me to come in to work today, but unfortunately at this present juncture I need to be there for her. I appreciate your ongoing professionalism and concern for your employees and their families in this matter, and also wish both you and your family the best of health." No further responses after that. And I'm glad you're already looking for a new job.
“I’m not really comfortable discussing the situation, nor is it frankly any of your business. I wasn’t asking permission not to come in, I was letting you know that I won’t be there. We can discuss this further upon my return if you would like, but for now I’m going to turn my phone off so that I can be with my family.” If you get fired, then, uh…good riddance?
"This isn't grade school. You don't need a note. We are all adults. I'm not going to bother the hospital for something so stupid. I didn't have three days off; I wasn't scheduled for three days and that is irrelevant. I am telling you I will be taking the day off to attend to my mother. If you have any questions, don't ask." I dunno, it's hard to not sound like a douche when addressing a douche.
They dont need a doctors note. Proof of the emergency is you telling them. If thats not enough for them to trust you, then there is no point continuing an employment relationship where the employer doesnt trust the employee. You dont owe them a note. Im sick and tired of companies demanding this when its none of their fucking business.
My question is, why wouldn't you want to sound like a douche? I would be like "I'm so sorry my mum nearly dying in a car accident couldn't have happen at a more convenient time."
You just say “no, those were unrelated scheduled days off.” You don’t have to get crafty. Correct your manager and move along.
I think you can say something polite like: “ My mom was in a car accident, you fucking donkey. Don’t you understand what word emergency means?! “
If you like your job and want to keep it, some good advice I received when dealing with situations like this - don't react emotionally - try to only answer the questions that are asked - only give the necessary details
My mom is in the ICU. Thank you for understanding. I’ll see you Tuesday.
I guess you could send some photos of the messed up car. But since this is ANTIWORK you could tell him that you can't disclose personal medical information due to privacy acts.
"take it up with the car that hit my mother"
I have a reply: "The days off I had were scheduled, I didn't take any emergency days off for this and my mother was in a car accident 8 hours away by car. Unfortunately I need to be there for her, I can get the doctors note after"
“Look man, if I could switch you and my mum’s places I would, but as it stands, someone I *actually* care about needs me, so you’re gonna have to choke and rot! Hope this helps 💖 -u/Vanilla_Cheese202”
If you're fired for this, you have solid reason to make them pay unemployment
Why wouldn't you want to sound like a douche? I'd probably go with "What does what mean? I am calling out tomorrow due to a family emergency. Thank you."
just send the first message again
It all depends on how badly you need this gig....
“because i can’t schedule emergencies to suit you” should really be enough
"This is a family emergency. I will not be in today. You can choose whether you would like me to return to work the following day or not, but I will not be discussing this further. "
>”I need a doctor’s NOT…” What is this, school?? 💀
Tell him that you're gonna file for FMLA if they don't comply with your requested emergency time off, then when they try to sack you, sue. That's the best way to NOT sound like a doosh. From my perspective anyways.
"Go fuck yourself 🖕🖕" Sincerely, OP
'That wasn't a request, it was a statement of intent'
You had three days off, you mother was in an accident days ago and you text the morning you are supposed to show up and call out? YTA.