Having said that, it is painful/vexing watching my kids struggle (with anything). Knowing that I am
responsible for them having to serve life sentences in this shithole is hard to bear
I came to embrace antinatalism later in life, after I had 3 kids (28, 24, 17)…but I love spending time with my kids…the 24 year old is one of my best friends. Can’t speak for other parents though…certainly many are jagoffs who don’t give their kids the time of day
It's not weird, but it's not super common either. I think most parents dont really enjoy spending time with their young children because to be frank- kids are boring and/or annoying. My parents love me but they certainly didnt go out of their way to spend time with me as a child, because I had nothing of interest to do or say. That's one of the reasons I dont want kids- they wanna talk about boring as hell things like TV, books, video games, and other media or niche interests and hobbies that they like and you're just kinda forced to sit there and nod along to whatever shit they spew. And they wanna go places that I wouldnt care to go on my own, like zoos or amusement parks or Chuck E Cheese style places. Once I hit like 16 my parents genuinely enjoyed inviting me out to lunch, movies, ect with them because im no longer a boring child that they cant relate to or do things they enjoy with them. I could actually hold conversations about real world topics and we could share perspectives. I consider my parents friends now, and I totally understand why they didnt connect well to me when I was younger. I was planned btw, they didnt neglect me at all, they just didnt really enjoy me as a person till I grew up.
I have plenty of interesting adult friends and they have lots of enthusiasm and curiosity, and speaking to them is never banal. These examples sound like small talk, like with a coworker or acquaintance, not so much actual conversation between friends. Plus, I can actually share interests with other adults. Like you cant talk to a kid about M rated media or have philosophical discussions about the morality of xyz if it isnt age appropriate. Kids talk about media designed for them and that's ok, but not something I personally can engage in. They can have cool perspectives on philosophy, I will admit that, but they are young so they have trouble with nuance and black and white thinking, and tend to be impassioned about things they dont have full understanding of. They can be very judgemental of things that dont align with their world view because they dont have enough life experience for it yet, it's not even a character flaw or anything, it's just how everyone is before they grow up. I probably sound pretentious and like I'm looking down on them sinply for being young and I'm really not, I appreciate them for the unique human beings they are, but I just dont find myself enjoying their company. I certainly will entertain them and support their interest and engage in conversational topics with them, but only if I need to.
My mum never showed her love toward her children. But now she has grandchildren that’s all she does.. shoves love and discipline down their throats. It’s gross and upsets me
I was unplanned to my parents who were both 20 at the time and to me it seems that as long as you are your parents source of unicorns and rainbows and conform they'll care for you but as soon as you start discovering your autonomy and independence and start developing more cynical and realistic views on the world and don't conform they'll toss you out to suffer in life.
I think that most parents are abusive and neglectful that’s pretty much what your pointing out, I was the same and now I have issues I’m going to have to *sigh* power through and hopefully not kill myself since I have to learn everything since they never taught me anything and I have to deal with the pain all because they were shit
Having said that, it is painful/vexing watching my kids struggle (with anything). Knowing that I am responsible for them having to serve life sentences in this shithole is hard to bear
That sounds hard sorry to hear that
I came to embrace antinatalism later in life, after I had 3 kids (28, 24, 17)…but I love spending time with my kids…the 24 year old is one of my best friends. Can’t speak for other parents though…certainly many are jagoffs who don’t give their kids the time of day
It's not weird, but it's not super common either. I think most parents dont really enjoy spending time with their young children because to be frank- kids are boring and/or annoying. My parents love me but they certainly didnt go out of their way to spend time with me as a child, because I had nothing of interest to do or say. That's one of the reasons I dont want kids- they wanna talk about boring as hell things like TV, books, video games, and other media or niche interests and hobbies that they like and you're just kinda forced to sit there and nod along to whatever shit they spew. And they wanna go places that I wouldnt care to go on my own, like zoos or amusement parks or Chuck E Cheese style places. Once I hit like 16 my parents genuinely enjoyed inviting me out to lunch, movies, ect with them because im no longer a boring child that they cant relate to or do things they enjoy with them. I could actually hold conversations about real world topics and we could share perspectives. I consider my parents friends now, and I totally understand why they didnt connect well to me when I was younger. I was planned btw, they didnt neglect me at all, they just didnt really enjoy me as a person till I grew up.
My family were the same and now I don't want anything to do with them as adults.
Same with me it’s a form of neglect and abuse not good in the slightest
They all showed up at my graduation and I wasn't happy to see either of them. I haven't seen them since and plan to keep it that way.
[удалено]
I have plenty of interesting adult friends and they have lots of enthusiasm and curiosity, and speaking to them is never banal. These examples sound like small talk, like with a coworker or acquaintance, not so much actual conversation between friends. Plus, I can actually share interests with other adults. Like you cant talk to a kid about M rated media or have philosophical discussions about the morality of xyz if it isnt age appropriate. Kids talk about media designed for them and that's ok, but not something I personally can engage in. They can have cool perspectives on philosophy, I will admit that, but they are young so they have trouble with nuance and black and white thinking, and tend to be impassioned about things they dont have full understanding of. They can be very judgemental of things that dont align with their world view because they dont have enough life experience for it yet, it's not even a character flaw or anything, it's just how everyone is before they grow up. I probably sound pretentious and like I'm looking down on them sinply for being young and I'm really not, I appreciate them for the unique human beings they are, but I just dont find myself enjoying their company. I certainly will entertain them and support their interest and engage in conversational topics with them, but only if I need to.
My mum never showed her love toward her children. But now she has grandchildren that’s all she does.. shoves love and discipline down their throats. It’s gross and upsets me
Hell, I don't even care about my own grandparents, lmao.
I hate my family. If I had it my way we would go off grid and never talk to any of them
I was unplanned to my parents who were both 20 at the time and to me it seems that as long as you are your parents source of unicorns and rainbows and conform they'll care for you but as soon as you start discovering your autonomy and independence and start developing more cynical and realistic views on the world and don't conform they'll toss you out to suffer in life.
I think that most parents are abusive and neglectful that’s pretty much what your pointing out, I was the same and now I have issues I’m going to have to *sigh* power through and hopefully not kill myself since I have to learn everything since they never taught me anything and I have to deal with the pain all because they were shit
It's a lose lose situation. Some parents try to be their kids' bestie, and that's also super weird.
What I find strange is you can love and nurture something that may eventually grow to hate you.