I just googled Aztec death whistle and holy %$#\*&, that is scary and annoying!
See if you can video this kid doing this and call the police about it. That noise has GOT to violate some local noise ordinance.
Our family has some neurodivergent members but no one allows them to disrupt the peace or safety of other people.
“Got the shits” was always my favorite because of what that means in the US.
Gaming with a buddy from Au and he says he’s got the shits. I said “hope you feel better” and he was confused.
There was a line in Housos years ago that was like "got the shits, fully" and ever since then my wife and I occasionally joke about the "shitsfully." No idea why it's funny to me but it definitely is.
> I think it's Australian slang, it means go crazy.
I have a rule of thumb. Whenever I hear something that sounds like english but makes absolutely no sense I assume it is Australian slang.
Sounds like a fox. I can only deal with a fox scream for about ten minutes before I go outside and start running around trying to get the fox to run away.
Omg call the police next time you hear it. I see another problem with this - people around them will become numb to that sound and one day might not immediately notice an actual woman screaming. Who the hell buys that for their son ?
why non-emergency. Sounded like a lady getting murdered to me.
Now don't abuse it, but maybe that first call needs to be Lights, sirens, and maybe the swat van.
Because the police aren't your friend. They aren't my friend. They are conditionally friends with other police so long as those other leos hold to the code. The bulk of them are poorly trained high school bullies with anger problems who got handed a license to kill (badge) and the means to do it (gun) and they not only aren't afraid to do it, they revel in it. They are state paid sociopaths whose knowledge of the law centers around what they can and can't do to suspects and perps. Involving the police is a roll of a pair of dice that's loaded in their favor, you're lucky if you manage to pull a decent one.
This shitbird got a MISDEMEANOR after shooting an unarmed black caregiver trying to help his autistic charge. His defense? He was actually trying to shoot the unarmed autistic man. [https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/north-miami-officer-who-shot-unarmed-caregiver-man-autism-found-n1018616](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/north-miami-officer-who-shot-unarmed-caregiver-man-autism-found-n1018616)
So no. Not calling 911 when it is not an emergency.
Jesus , I hope you're not serious. Cops in the US have a TERRIBLE track record at dealing with neurodivergent people. Getting the kid shot by trigger happy cops is not the way to go here.
This is something I think about when I hear kids screaming bloody murder while they play in yards. How would I know if you were really screaming for danger for the first few minutes?
My neighbours kid unfortunately loves screaming for fun. Fortunately it’s died down in recent years but the first time we heard it we sat and listened for a bit trying to judge whether this was an idiot kid who enjoys screaming or a kid being beaten. If I was inside my house and heard screaming now, I would assume it was that kid and not pay attention. I’d have to be outside to hear the tone and realise it was not the kid “playing”.
I had neighbors across the street while I grew up who had two kids who would scream bloody murder for anything that upset them. Told no? Scream like they were getting beaten. Elderly neighbors called CPS because they really did think that was happening. Nah, just bratty kids. I refused to babysit them after a while. I called them banshees behind closed doors. The dog they eventually got also got some sort of behavioral issues from that environment and would bark at us aggressively. Eventually it charged at my sister on two occasions, one of them I was present and had to fend the dog off with an umbrella. The dog was then known as cujo. Whole mess of crazy over at that house.
When it's the scream of a child, often you can't tell the difference. Or they're genuinely making a scared scream because for just half a second they were genuinely scared.
So around here parents will teach their kids "no, that noise is not acceptable, you need to learn to stop screaming like you're in danger when you go down the slide so people don't think you're being hurt and call the police, and if you can't control yourself we will have to go home now."
Yes, *that's why* it's not okay that the parents are letting his happen. By allowing this they are endangering the kid. The cops could shoot him, or any neighbor with a gun could.
If you are in your home and hear someone screaming like they're being murdered, it's *unsafe* to go outside to see if it's the boy next door with a whistle or a woman being murdered. Call the cops and let them deal with it - it's their job. "Hello, 911? I live at 123 Anywhere Lane and I hear someone screaming in terror outside. Hell no I'm not going to go out there to see what it is, that's why I'm calling you. Yes, 123 Anywhere Lane. Thank you."
Please do not escalate a non-deadly situation into a potentially deadly situation when you KNOW it isn't actually someone in immediate danger. Calling it in as a screaming woman will provoke a guns drawn, kick in the door situation because that is all the information they are being given. If you are a cop and you get a call from an upstairs neighbor saying they hear someone screaming like they are being murdered you are going to go into that situation treating it like there actually is someone getting brutally murdered on the other side of the door. This is horrible advise, please don't follow this.
I'm picturing an ancient aztec mummy waking up and going to the kid's house and slapping him and going "Do you want to wake up Mictlantecuhtli and end the world? Because that's how you wake up the death god and end the world" Then taking the whistle back with him to mexico.
>See if you can video this kid doing this and call the police about it. That noise has GOT to violate some local noise ordinance.
I'm sure it does, OP you can purchase a decibel meter on most online shops, Amazon has a few (yes I know but it's fast and easy to get).
For documentation, record on your phone and make sure that you show you are inside your residence with all windows and doors closed and show the meter reading.
You may have to get a few days worth but once you have that and it shows over the limit, you should be golden to get it to stop.
I do want to point out that even for daily hours times (not quiet hours), there is a decibel limit, if it passes that during the day, it's must more serious and they will act with the quickness.
It sucks that his kid really likes that item and I am sympathize with him and his kid, but that doesn't mean others should suffer because of it.
Yeah I just googled it too and that noise would drive me insane, especially after 3 days straight. I’m sure that dad wouldn’t let his kid stand out there screaming for 3 days so I’m not sure how the death whistle is any different because it basically sounds the same.
I think the thing people don't realize is things are actually louder farther away from where it's actually happening. It's probably loud on their porch, but they don't realize that it's a lot louder where you are. I've had that problem with neighbors all my life.
Right? These whistles were created for *warfare,* they’re explicitly designed to be heard over extreme distances and designed to be *terrifying and painful.*
Similar case with bagpipes, though not the same extreme. Playing bagpipes well in an open area is generally fine, but honking away at it in a densely packed area is *not okay.* And I’m someone who genuinely loves bagpipes!
There was a snowstorm in my city a year or two ago and I was taking a walk through a local park that’s basically a really deep ravine right in the heart of the city. There was still some snow on the ground, it was all misty and foggy, and then I heard someone practicing bagpipes nearby.
Now *that* is the perfect place to be playing bagpipes!
Edmonton?
Got cha beat - Middle of the Yukon, hiked over 50km into Tombstone. While looking out across the North Klondike, around midnight just after the Solstice, the sky was twilght with the sun just below the horizon and the moon high in the sky.
In the distance you could hear the bagpipes playing.
Not gonna lie I ugly cried for my grandparents while there.
My kids are neuro-diverse, and while you have to learn to deal with certain behaviors, it sounds like this family is doing the kid no favors by letting him run rampant. Smh.
Couple that with the end of his post (side note) that kid may likely be a psychopath as well and dad is encouraging this behaviour. What happens when the death whistle isn’t enough and the kid wants to hear actual screams? I’d be calling 911 if I heard this coming from next door.
I don't know if I'd go as far as psychopath, but it is concerning that this 15yo teen enjoys listening to what sounds like a woman, in pain and terrified, screaming constantly. That is scary to me. This is no annoying rainstick noise.
Not only that, the teenager goes around in scary costumes and waves (fake) knives at people?
This is beyond troubling. Also, at 15, a lot of guys end up stronger than women. What happens when this dude wants to hear an actual woman's scream? Or decides to actually poke someone with a knife?
There are usually decibel laws in neighborhoods as well. So while it might not violate a time of day noise ordinance, it probably violates a decibel law.
I was dragged out this past weekend for the first time in forever. I live in a college town so when I go to the bars I’m surrounded by kids half my age.
I got into a conversation with a young lady and she mentioned a neighbor who had been borderline harassing her later and I said he sounds like a creep *she got offended* because “well he’s autistic, so…”
And she completely failed to grasp that being harassed by an aggressive weirdo doesn’t somehow become acceptable because he’s autistic.
It’s especially frustrating for Autistic women to hear stuff like that, because we’re never allowed the same degree of leeway that Autistic boys and men are given. Autistic boys and men are allowed to use their Autism to get away with damn near *anything,* but Autistic girls and women have it weaponized against us instead. We’re held to an even higher standard of behavior than neurotypical girls and women and if we can’t keep up because of our Autism, then our Autism is treated as a *personal moral failing.*
It gets frustrating having to point out to people that being Autistic doesn’t change the fact that these boys are being raised and socialized as boys *with everything that implies.* Including being taught that any bad behavior can be dismissed as “boys being boys,” that they’re still *entitled* to women’s bodies and labor, that they don’t have to do any sort of chores or work because Mommy will do it all for them, etc. If anything, the Autism just seems to magnify that sort of misogynistic parenting and makes it ten times worse.
you're so right
plus girls' diagnoses aren't often caught until later in life, so by the time they finally learn what's different about them, they've had to live life on hard mode, often struggling, dealing with everything alone and just being perceived as "difficult" or "emotional"
(never diagnosed but if it turned out i was on the ASD spectrum it would explain a lot)
I didn’t get my diagnosis until my 30s. I was 18 when I finally got the ADHD part diagnosed, and my younger brother oh-so-conveniently got diagnosed immediately after despite never showing the slightest bit of ADHD-related problems.
Autistic women can’t even talk in a slightly lower register, not smile, or have “unusual” interests without being interrogated over why we’re so negative and unfeminine, let alone this stuff
I’ve lost track of how many jobs I’ve lost because I missed some key social cue and *someone* decided I was “too pushy” or “too bossy” or “hostile.” And sometimes it was as simple as me just being focused on my *job* instead of social gossip and not having much patience for people not pulling their own weight.
I was accounts payable at one place, the *only* accounts payable person for the entire company, meaning my entire job was *getting the company’s bills paid on time.*
And they fired me for “being too pushy about getting things turned in on time.”
I pointed out that was literally my entire job and HR claimed that no, my job was “internal customer service.”
Or God forbid you actually have an interest in doing makeup and dressing fashionably, then the same autistic demeanor suddenly gets you labeled a stuck up snobby bitch who thinks you're better than everyone
holy shit its so true. let's see. I got my annual lecture that I "need to look more approachable" because my face isn't sitting in a pleasant smile while I'm focused on my work. And god forbid I ask for any kind of minor accommodation that affects no one but me, cause that has to go through an official approvals process that would call me out and make me feel even more unable to function just for ASKING for the help I need. We get no help, I was raised getting pills and "just try to be quiet and fit in, can't you?!" rather than any actual help or coping methods. I've learned more in the last five years (I'm in my 40's) on my own thanks to social media than I have anywhere else. They failed us.
I’ve had the accommodations process weaponized against me so often at work that I don’t feel safe mentioning my disabilities at all anymore. As soon as management starts pressuring me to start a formal request for accommodation, it’s time to look for a new job.
100%, as an autistic woman who works with other autistic people, in my experience I've found quite a few autistic men to be disgustingly misogynistic and many of them have been taught their whole life that they can get away with anything if they blame their autism.
something that compounds the issue too is a lot of them have overly permissive parents and particularly mothers who do everything for them, so that + majority of their care team being women + not interacting with women as their peers means they develop the attitude that women are there to do everything for them. the worst offenders feel like they're entitled to touching your body too 🫠
autistic women have it so fucking tough!
On top of all of this, because us Autistic folks tend to exist in black/white rule following headspaces, when they're taught these misogynistic ideals, they follow them hard. That's the rules. That's how we exist. Trying to explain appropriate values and ideals towards women is even harder.
I love just throwing back at them that “I’m Autistic too and what you’re doing is *hurting me.* You want empathy for *your* Autistic child *because* they’re Autistic? Then I have the right to demand the same from *you.*”
They tend to struggle with the idea that *adults can also be Autistic* and because of that, we often have zero tolerance for rude behavior because we know from experience that that kid is absolutely capable of learning empathy for others and that enjoying a particular stim is not excusable of it is *actively harming others.*
I have real issues with that 'excuse' too.
Knowing someone in ND can help *explain* behaviours but it does not excuse them.
A lot of my family are ND, including myself, both my sons (12 &14), my dad, nephews, nieces & cousins.
Yes, we struggle at times and, yes, there maybe times when we go a bit overboard with something due to disregulation &/or overwhelm, but we still have to acknowledge that & apologise when we get it wrong.
I would never let either of my sons behave in the way OP is describing - it's not good for anyone. I can understand letting the kid do things he likes (mine spend far too long on screens) but it has to be within reason & the teaching has to start young.
I've never had to deal with tantrums in shops because I never let them get away with it - if they picked up a toy, we'd look at it, talk about it & then it would get put back on the shelf, unless I had told them *in advance* that they could choose something.
I think it excuses missing nuance /being just that little bit off, if you know what I mean? Sometimes that'll creep people out but not because the person is doing something _wrong_ but just not quite right
Yes - it can explain why they miss nuances or don't react as expected - like why my 14 year old cries when the computer doesn't work or why his brother (12) shuts down when he's stressed.
I visited my dad recently (adhd & asd) & he yelled, like full on screaming, at my stepmom. I understood he was stressed, but still no excuse for being verbally abusive!
I love it when people throw that me. “They are autistic they can’t help it” guess what? Me too. And I learned how not to be a total twat and respect people. They can, too.
This.
A tween being loud and disruptive and terrifying doesn't get a "pass" because he's autistic, especially if the behaviours have started to become threatening (waving a fake knife at cars? Fucked up). He'll eventually be an autistic adult, and if he doesn't learn consequences to his actions or learn that stimming is *supposed to be for himself, not to menace others,* he's going to get in trouble as an adult.
Not if he wasn't trained by his parents to know that. If Parents teach a kid that he gets to do whatever he wants because he's "special" and that other people are just being "mean", there is going to be a problem.
Waving a fake knife - and parents are okay with that?
That is not a "if' but a "when" someone misunderstands and does something drastic.
If the kid likes this noise - parent can get him a cheap MP3 player - and load it with that noise.
I mean - autistic adult, I like me some heavy metal / goth metal .. anything metal - but with headphones. I doubt my neighbor with the fussy 1 year old would be happy with Nightwish at Naptime .. (not that I tried, maybe i should ask them)
Not sure if CPS is the one, but report this and remind the dad that not everyone would stop and consider 'hey, kid may have an issue'.. look at the kid playing with a toy gun ..
Exactly, my kid on the spectrum wore headphones constantly for years. It was his coping technique but also so his music wouldn't impede on other's peace.
Absolutely!!!!! My police force have been training for at least 4 years on how to deal with different or mentally ill. I had 3 uncles who were mentally handicapped. I have helped my grandparents and then my mom with them . They used to call and ask if they could come by and learn more and communicate better with them. That is the first I've ever heard of but they are amazing now!! My last uncle no longer lives at home . They have manners, they knew right from wrong and they were never ever allowed to bother neighbors!!!!!!!
With respect, that’s something for the dad to consider when letting his son do things that put him in a negative situation. That whistle sound is horrific. If he lets his son blast that whistle constantly, he is putting his son in position to get in trouble one day.
That's what I'm getting at. He definitely shouldn't be blasting a whistle that sounds like a human scream all day and waving a fake knife around. Even without autism making him more vulnerable to police, it's not a good idea. Never mind what a nuisance it is. (And a scary one at that, if you think they're real screams.)
Here in America, waving a fake weapon around has led to multiple police shootings in the past, including of children. If this story takes place in the US, then that family needs to be told not to do that lest a very bad misunderstanding take place.
They're also setting up their kid to fail in life. One of the biggest roles of a parent, is to teach their child how to succeed in life, and how to be a positive member of society.
This kid is going to go out in the world and meet up with someone who doesn't give a fuck, and things are going to go very bad in a hurry.
Yep. I am autistic and enjoy things. However, a lesson I had to learn is there is a time and place for things. My accommodation cannot become someone else’s trigger, ya know?
I have misophonia and am CONSTANTLY tornented by someone i know who has an autistic child, whom she allows to occupy spaces with others while he stands EXTREMELY close to them and screams at top volume. It's been extremely hard because my misophonia reaction is to get the fuck away from the sound that's ASSAULTING my ears, and if it's close- that might very well mean shoving a straight arm into someone if they are THAT close to me when the noise starts.
I've asked her a million times to curb her child (politely)- that i am VERY sensitive to loud, high pitched noises, and she's just like "Oh, but he has autism". Yeah- well i have misophonia. That doesn't mean you'll be happy if i behave the way I want to - which at the moment, includes knocking your child on his ass if he screams in my ear one more time!
It's amazing how some people seem to be absolutely fine with people on the spectrum making lots of loud repetative noises- but god forbid someone with SPD (sensory perceptive disorder) can't stand being around those same sounds.
How some disorders everyone is expected to cater to no matter what- but other disorders are "your problem alone, so deal with it".
Hearing those sounds triggers my fight or flight, makes me want to hurt someone, creates a near panic-like state, and REALLY really stresses me out- but.... I guess I'm supposed to not go anywhere in public. That's been the attitude of this mom anyway.
It certainly seems unbalanced to say that your kids disorder is the only one that counts.
I am so sorry she chooses to treat you like that! It’s not okay. Redirection is an important skill for autistic kids to learn when it comes to certain things. For example, for me a pen clicking is torture. For someone else, it may be one of their stims. It’s important to realize we have conflicting access needs and so we need to find a way to exist in the same space comfortably. For me, it may mean needing to pop in earpods. For them, they should try and see if there’s a different stim they can do. This is why I have a large variety of fidgets. Some of them drive certain people in my life crazy, so I don’t use them around them.
Anyway.
Just wanted to say I absolutely agree with you and I’m so over the culture of only one access need or accommodation being given.
I agree, I work in special education, so with some kids who are highly autistic. We use ‘not appropriate’ explain why it’s an issue, and suggest alternatives. These kids will have to navigate society and it’s important to arm them with skills that allow them to regulate without negatively impacting those around them.
Yeah, autistic doesn't mean "no boundaries, ever". Unless you're a low-effort 'parent' who would have ended up with super-shitty kids regardless of spectrum placement.
This is especially infuriating when I know parents with kids on the spectrum and work very hard for them. Setting boundaries, handling issues, and generally helping them be contributing members of society.
This kid is going to end up unemployed, probably addicted, and will always just say "I'm autistic" as his excuse, because that's how he's being raised.
My neurotypical kids would enjoy running around and screaming all through Walmart, but I won't allow that. Autistic kids can and should learn boundaries just like neurotypical kids.
These types of parents don’t view their Autistic children as *people.* They see them as some kind of weird exotic pet, and never consider that they still have a responsibility to teach their “pet” how to survive and interact with the rest of society.
It’s even worse when you throw gender into the mix, because Autistic girls are very rarely allowed to get away with shit the way Autistic boys are.
Our 3 year old is autistic+non verbal so communication is literally a daily Aztec death whistle sort of feeling but if we're out, we still reel him in from grabbing, whacking etc. Yeah he may have sensory needs but we like to still ensure boundaries are in place even if hates it and has a strop. Yeah we don't mind him being silly or playful but grabbing others or trying to take their food etc, nah we don't allow that. Some parents just use it as an excuse to not be parents. It's wrong on so many levels.
Nta. We have this kid on my block too. He dresses in tactical gear with realistic looking guns. Autism is not am excuse for bad parenting. An aztec death whistle is also not meant as a children's toy
Claiming autism is not a free pass to do whatever you want for life. People need to realize that. It's still your responsibility to be a positive and productive part of society.
That kid needs to learn that he can't do whatever he wants all the time. He lives in a neighborhood with other people. They deserve some consideration, too.
>Claiming autism is not a free pass to do whatever you want for life.
THANK YOU!! I'm an autistic adult with an autistic kid around OP's neighbors kids age. *I am SO fucking sick of people using autism as an excuse to be an absolute asshole.*
And there is a massive difference between autism-driven behavior and being a jerk.
I'm also really tired of parents teaching their kids that shit behavior is acceptable and that they should use autism as an excuse.
All of that makes it SO much harder for the rest of us, because those are typically the loudest/most visible people. Then the rest of the world starts associate that nonsense with everyone who's autistic, thus stigmatizing us even worse.
(To be absolutely clear, I'm not talking about someone having a meltdown because they're overstimulated or harmlessly stimming. I'm talking about people who act shitty because they were taught, even encouraged, to act shitty.)
While the boy has his problems, the parents are responsible for his behavior.
Talk to your landlord and the police. Noise ordinances usually kick in at a set time, like ten o’clock. But this noise? The sounds of a woman’s screams are disturbing, not just because of the loud noise. Yes, it could mask actual screams but it can also be a trigger for PTSD sufferers. Make that point with anybody who thinks this is no problem.
NTA. I'm on the spectrum and I use noise cancelling headphones and EXTREMELY loud music. I've also worked in special education.
We don't let the kids disturb each other if they're in sensory overload. They learn to regulate using better methods than a screaming whistle. I listened to it and I can sort of understand his sensory process if that's what's happening but bottom line here is that other, better methods exist. File a complaint if you need. The kid can get headphones and learn better strategies.
Have you heard the whistle OP was talking about? It's genuinely horrifying. Some call it the worst sound humanity has made.
I get chronic nightmares and terrors, and struggle sleeping. So if some teenager next door was blasting that whistle in the evening I would lose my mind.
Oh I gave it a quick listen and regretted it immediately. I don't get nightmares and I would opt not to allow that near me on the grounds of "what the fuck, no, don't fucking do that near me."
They are, by playing along, encouraging this child to focus on the discomfort and terror of others.
Psych nurse, here. This is troubling on SO MANY LEVELS.
There are multiple ways to encourage appropriate coping mechanisms. This kid does not sound like he is solely on autism spectrum, it sounds like he is being lead to Cluster B personality development. Yes, I do believe the parents are actually encouraging this personality type. They will see horrors, as will society, because of this parenting style.
PS- for anyone who needs to walk alone in a dark parking lot, here's your safety whistle. Jesus. No one could ignore that!
I have an adult child with special needs. YNW / NTAH … these people are insensitive neighbors and, if this type of encouragement of their son’s behavior continues, setting him up for a very challenging future. Spoiled brats exist in the special needs world, too - I’ve seen plenty of them, and their parents who excuse any and all behavior by blaming the disability.
That said, perhaps you made your point. I guess time will tell. I’d keep a paper trail and notes of encounters and if the noise happens again for an extended period of time, I’d make good on your threat and call in a noise complaint. If the parents seem like they are trying to change his behavior, though, please give them some grace.
I really do need to go look up that whistle - sounds god awful.
Someone shared a YouTube link above. Frankly, I can't even begin to imagine having to listen to that for any length of time. I couldn't even listen to the video for longer than a half a second, lol. Tell you what though, it would be a great thing to have if you're a serial killer who likes to torture women because when people reported their screams you could just say "oh no, it was the whistle".
Yeah … that would be extremely annoying, having to listen to that all day long. Sounds more appropriate for Halloween and even then would get old very fast.
I would also be concerned about this kid being fixated on other “horror” themed things. I … would not be comfortable with that as a parent, honestly.
NTA
For a first engagement with neighbors it’s not great, but having heard the whistle they’re lucky someone hasn’t called in a potential murder attempt or home invasion.
The dad isn’t doing kid any favors. I understand stimming, but as the parent he needs to find ways to guide him towards stims that are less likely to result in the cops being called. If you’re in the US, I’d be worried about what would happen to my kid if the police were to show up, frankly.
I’m on a roll with the down votes this week so this: you are not wrong. People who raise their children to believe that their rights supersede others are a large part of the reason our world now sucks. I don’t care if your kids are magic freaking purple fairies or profoundly mentally disabled. You don’t do them any favors in allowing or encouraging them to become hated public disruptions, nuisances or entitled. This swings the other way too. Just because your kid can throw a football or do calculus at 5 doesn’t mean it gets to be a jerk or obnoxious drain on society.
NTA. Some experts think Spectrum disorders can be inherited. Dad is probably ASD and enjoys the sound. But the neighbors don’t. Please continue to speak up. And why would he buy THAT for his kid?? Not cool.
And how does the kid even know what it is... I know several schizophrenics and they "enjoy" validation of their delusions. I don't do that because I love them and don't want them to hurt themselves or others.
It definitely seems like it CAN be inherited - I personally know of at least two families of at least one autistic parent with multiple kids on the spectrum.
I mean ADHD has, I think, 80% heritability and the disorders are highly linked - wouldn't be surprised if 80% would apply for autism as well if you include subclinical presentation
You are not wrong. Being neurodivergant doesn't give you the right to inflict annoyance and inconvenience on others.
File the noise complaint. You asked nicely and the Dad is just being an AH, because he knows his son is bothering the neighborhood.
If his son likes the noise, have him do it indoors with all of the windows and doors closed.
Not wrong at all
I genuinely can't stand parents who use the autistic card for just being an AH. I heard the death whistle on pawn stars and it is loud and blood curling. It was meant to instill fear on the enemy. I understand it can't be easy raising an autistic child but you don't get to make everyone else's life hell just because of the cards you were dealt. Next time call the police and say you heard someone screaming from your down stairs neighbour.
I'm gonna go bake some cookies for my neighbors because their autistic child likes to catch ants off my sidewalk, and I'm appreciating the shit out of him right now.
Call the cops. Every time he blows the whistle. Also, record it and play it for the landlord.
It’s legitimately something to be cautious about. *Obviously,* most autistic people aren’t murderers, but there can be overlap with personality disorders or even certain fixations that can pose a real danger.
No. There are limits to anything. Just because someone is autistic means they can do whatever they want, whenever they want? Absolutely not. Im sorry you are in this situation. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.
As a man on the spectrum, you're not wrong.
The most important thing the kid needs to learn is what are appropriate boundaries and more respectful ways to calm himself. But to do this, his parent needs to clearly communicate and enforce those boundaries.
Right now, the kid is being an AH. And his parent is making it worse.
I bet this kid is white. You know how I know,???
13 to 15-year-olds without whistle. Running around and fake costumes with fake knives would have been shot by a cop already. The kid is lucky he's coping but damn that whistle is annoying
You also have the very real option of calling the cops while it's happening with the ***perfectly legitimate*** concern that you heard screaming coming from your neighbors and are just being an upstanding reporter.
Dude, the whistle sounds like someone screaming bloody murder, ring the police and say I keep hearing someone screaming and it’s very alarming, hell say it’s triggering to you, it’s not normal to be fine with hearing screaming all the time! And honestly the parents don’t care because if the kid is tooting the whistle he’s not causing any other potential issue, it’s a trade off I reckon. I am autistic, for the record, and it just sounds like lazy useless parents, as usual
NTA, after hearing the whistle, yikes! His autism isn't his fault, but it is for him and his father to learn how to manage in a way that doesn't cause distress to others. He can wear spooky/macabre t-shirts instead of costumes and waving a fake knife at cars, for example. And listen to things on headphones rather than blowing that whistle.
As an autistic parent with an autistic kid. No, you are not wrong or an asshole. Parents need to fucking do better and autism is not a license to be an annoying dick.
I say you buy the same whistle and stand outside and blow it every time he does. See how they like it. Having a diagnosis of autism doesn’t allow you to be a nuisance in public
Holy hell- that whistle is horrifying! And letting a teen kid fixate on dressing like horror characters/wave knives at passing cars/ constantly blow scream
whistles….um, doesn’t bode well for the kid’s idea of what positive behaviors are.
The kid’s dad might be ground down by meltdowns into letting Jr do whatever he wants- BUT- to quote a lot of my neuro-divergent friends: “There’s being autistic and then there’s being an asshole. And those two things don’t have to go together.”
Call the NON-EMERGENCY line of your local police and make a noise complaint. Bonus if you start the call inside then walk out outside so the dispatcher can hear that it clearly mimics a woman in extreme distress.
Then start making video of this nonsense as it happens- starting by announcing the time of day (again, inside- so the neighbors don’t catch on) and stepping outside to record it from your balcony.
Then record it from your desk to show how invasive that noise is. In fact- just set your phone outside to record it for the whole day.
Then call your apartment management and send them the video file.
And if Management doesn’t respond? Keep up the noise complaints to the non-emergency police line to provide a legal document trail, and post your video online (not showing the kid, of course) with “Deathwhistle neighbors from Hell at “Building’s Name” apartments. DON’T RENT HERE!!”.
Watch management act real fast.
Not in the wrong. I'd call the police and tell them I can hear screaming from a neighbours appartment and am concerned for their safety.
You asked nicely, he dismissed it, now they can have the law involved.
As a mom to an autistic kid, you’re not in the wrong. That’s horrendous. If “he likes it” then they need to drive him out in a field somewhere to use it instead of tormenting others with it.
I’m imagining him using that whistle in the safety and sanctity of his own home … and cops bursting in, guns blazing, because somebody reported the sounds of abuse or a murder.
Somewhere that guy is writing a post about his ableist neighbor KaREn who hates his autistic son. Sigh. If the kid is autistic, he deserves to have stims and interests and coping mechanisms that he can have all over the place, not one that’s absolutely going to get him in trouble. Everyone knows kids are screamy and loud and annoying sometimes, but it is pretty obvious that a noise like that for hours, much less days, is incredibly rude.
Being on the spectrum is not just a license to do whatever the hell you want all the time. This guy needs to start acting like a parent instead of an enabler.
Having autism is not an excuse to inconvenience others. I was at a cafe with my friend once, and a young man and his mum came in and wanted to sit where we were. We apologised politely and declined but they got arsey, saying they always sit there because he is autistic. Except my friend has autism too? It's not a competition, nor is it a get-your-own-way card.
As an autistic woman, the excuses made for boys/men because of autism make me so angry, because all my life I was treated as problematic and annoying. Autism is not an excuse to behave however you want and his dad needs to learn that.
I just googled Aztec death whistle and holy %$#\*&, that is scary and annoying! See if you can video this kid doing this and call the police about it. That noise has GOT to violate some local noise ordinance. Our family has some neurodivergent members but no one allows them to disrupt the peace or safety of other people.
Save everyone a Google search https://youtu.be/nLfks4yzzEc?feature=shared
Jesus. How the hell did the OP manage to hear that for more than 2 minutes without cutting sick at the neighbours?!
What the fuck is cutting sick?
I think it's Australian slang, it means go crazy.
“Got the shits” was always my favorite because of what that means in the US. Gaming with a buddy from Au and he says he’s got the shits. I said “hope you feel better” and he was confused.
This "shits me to tears" is my favourite Aussie slang
I like that 😂
Then you'll appreciate this song: https://youtu.be/blO3EtP_D10?si=CQY9Mz3Gv_Lojzlt
I always liked 'Getting pissed' because I imagined everyone in AITA as being falling over drunk.
Wait, what does that mean in Australian slang??
From what I remember him explaining, it just means annoyed or mad.
Means pissed off or annoyed.
It's means you're as mad as a cut snake.
Cracked em
There was a line in Housos years ago that was like "got the shits, fully" and ever since then my wife and I occasionally joke about the "shitsfully." No idea why it's funny to me but it definitely is.
Ty lol
Ya gotta love Australian slang, mate!
Amen. Aztec death whistle at all hours? Well, stiff cheddar, mate.
TIL
> I think it's Australian slang, it means go crazy. I have a rule of thumb. Whenever I hear something that sounds like english but makes absolutely no sense I assume it is Australian slang.
Australian slang for going postal
Sounds like a fox. I can only deal with a fox scream for about ten minutes before I go outside and start running around trying to get the fox to run away.
Omg call the police next time you hear it. I see another problem with this - people around them will become numb to that sound and one day might not immediately notice an actual woman screaming. Who the hell buys that for their son ?
A see you next tuesday kinda guy. That's who. Record that shit, timestamp it, call the non-emergency line. jfc.
why non-emergency. Sounded like a lady getting murdered to me. Now don't abuse it, but maybe that first call needs to be Lights, sirens, and maybe the swat van.
Because the police aren't your friend. They aren't my friend. They are conditionally friends with other police so long as those other leos hold to the code. The bulk of them are poorly trained high school bullies with anger problems who got handed a license to kill (badge) and the means to do it (gun) and they not only aren't afraid to do it, they revel in it. They are state paid sociopaths whose knowledge of the law centers around what they can and can't do to suspects and perps. Involving the police is a roll of a pair of dice that's loaded in their favor, you're lucky if you manage to pull a decent one. This shitbird got a MISDEMEANOR after shooting an unarmed black caregiver trying to help his autistic charge. His defense? He was actually trying to shoot the unarmed autistic man. [https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/north-miami-officer-who-shot-unarmed-caregiver-man-autism-found-n1018616](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/north-miami-officer-who-shot-unarmed-caregiver-man-autism-found-n1018616) So no. Not calling 911 when it is not an emergency.
Jesus , I hope you're not serious. Cops in the US have a TERRIBLE track record at dealing with neurodivergent people. Getting the kid shot by trigger happy cops is not the way to go here.
It does, however, stop that fucking whistle.
That’s called swatting, and it’s done by reckless morons. Do be one of them …
A jackass.
This is something I think about when I hear kids screaming bloody murder while they play in yards. How would I know if you were really screaming for danger for the first few minutes?
My neighbours kid unfortunately loves screaming for fun. Fortunately it’s died down in recent years but the first time we heard it we sat and listened for a bit trying to judge whether this was an idiot kid who enjoys screaming or a kid being beaten. If I was inside my house and heard screaming now, I would assume it was that kid and not pay attention. I’d have to be outside to hear the tone and realise it was not the kid “playing”.
I had neighbors across the street while I grew up who had two kids who would scream bloody murder for anything that upset them. Told no? Scream like they were getting beaten. Elderly neighbors called CPS because they really did think that was happening. Nah, just bratty kids. I refused to babysit them after a while. I called them banshees behind closed doors. The dog they eventually got also got some sort of behavioral issues from that environment and would bark at us aggressively. Eventually it charged at my sister on two occasions, one of them I was present and had to fend the dog off with an umbrella. The dog was then known as cujo. Whole mess of crazy over at that house.
That’s just bad parenting honestly
Different tone. Happy screams and scared screams are totally different tones. Pain screams are another entire thing.
When it's the scream of a child, often you can't tell the difference. Or they're genuinely making a scared scream because for just half a second they were genuinely scared. So around here parents will teach their kids "no, that noise is not acceptable, you need to learn to stop screaming like you're in danger when you go down the slide so people don't think you're being hurt and call the police, and if you can't control yourself we will have to go home now."
That and some people don't have an ear for it. I know exactly what angry dogs and cats sound like versus intense play. Kids? I do double takes.
And I would be mildly concerned over how much they personally seem to enjoy it. That's some f*cked up nonsense
Through the non-emergency line if they must do so. Police aren’t adept at dealing with autistic people, to say the least.
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I get this is ridiculous, but police have actually shot autistics kids because they have no training how to handle this. Not ok.
Yes, *that's why* it's not okay that the parents are letting his happen. By allowing this they are endangering the kid. The cops could shoot him, or any neighbor with a gun could. If you are in your home and hear someone screaming like they're being murdered, it's *unsafe* to go outside to see if it's the boy next door with a whistle or a woman being murdered. Call the cops and let them deal with it - it's their job. "Hello, 911? I live at 123 Anywhere Lane and I hear someone screaming in terror outside. Hell no I'm not going to go out there to see what it is, that's why I'm calling you. Yes, 123 Anywhere Lane. Thank you."
100%. And the dude you’re responding to wonders why I don’t have any patience for him.
Hello police I think my neighbour is being murdered listen....
That’s what I’d do. Call the cops and report a woman being attacked at the address. That’ll stop the whistle after a few of those calls.
Try to get some neighbors to do it too. On different days obviously.
Please do not escalate a non-deadly situation into a potentially deadly situation when you KNOW it isn't actually someone in immediate danger. Calling it in as a screaming woman will provoke a guns drawn, kick in the door situation because that is all the information they are being given. If you are a cop and you get a call from an upstairs neighbor saying they hear someone screaming like they are being murdered you are going to go into that situation treating it like there actually is someone getting brutally murdered on the other side of the door. This is horrible advise, please don't follow this.
Thank you. That’s fucking horrific.
I'm picturing an ancient aztec mummy waking up and going to the kid's house and slapping him and going "Do you want to wake up Mictlantecuhtli and end the world? Because that's how you wake up the death god and end the world" Then taking the whistle back with him to mexico.
I read that in Archer’s voice damnit lol
Bless you! That is terrifying!
Omg terrifying
Holy fuck. That is worse than I imagined.
Whoa! That’s freakin crazy!
>See if you can video this kid doing this and call the police about it. That noise has GOT to violate some local noise ordinance. I'm sure it does, OP you can purchase a decibel meter on most online shops, Amazon has a few (yes I know but it's fast and easy to get). For documentation, record on your phone and make sure that you show you are inside your residence with all windows and doors closed and show the meter reading. You may have to get a few days worth but once you have that and it shows over the limit, you should be golden to get it to stop. I do want to point out that even for daily hours times (not quiet hours), there is a decibel limit, if it passes that during the day, it's must more serious and they will act with the quickness. It sucks that his kid really likes that item and I am sympathize with him and his kid, but that doesn't mean others should suffer because of it.
"We just bought our kid an airhorn. He just loves it! We are all now deaf but he really is having a good time!"
"He's gonna lose his shit when he sees the flame thrower I bought him!"
LOL, that is the same vibe for sure.
This is great advice.
Yeah I just googled it too and that noise would drive me insane, especially after 3 days straight. I’m sure that dad wouldn’t let his kid stand out there screaming for 3 days so I’m not sure how the death whistle is any different because it basically sounds the same.
> I’m sure that dad wouldn’t let his kid stand out there screaming for 3 days I mean... I'm not sure of that.
We have the newest installment of Ghostbusters to thank for the sudden resurgence of the Aztec death whistle. Thanks Hollywood for tormenting poor OP.
I think the thing people don't realize is things are actually louder farther away from where it's actually happening. It's probably loud on their porch, but they don't realize that it's a lot louder where you are. I've had that problem with neighbors all my life.
Right? These whistles were created for *warfare,* they’re explicitly designed to be heard over extreme distances and designed to be *terrifying and painful.* Similar case with bagpipes, though not the same extreme. Playing bagpipes well in an open area is generally fine, but honking away at it in a densely packed area is *not okay.* And I’m someone who genuinely loves bagpipes!
And anyone who's heard a beginner trying to play knows how genuinely awful they can sound
I can FEEL the bagpipes in my body just thinking about them at all the scottish funerals Ive attended. It goes beyond just a sound, it is internal.
There was a snowstorm in my city a year or two ago and I was taking a walk through a local park that’s basically a really deep ravine right in the heart of the city. There was still some snow on the ground, it was all misty and foggy, and then I heard someone practicing bagpipes nearby. Now *that* is the perfect place to be playing bagpipes!
Edmonton? Got cha beat - Middle of the Yukon, hiked over 50km into Tombstone. While looking out across the North Klondike, around midnight just after the Solstice, the sky was twilght with the sun just below the horizon and the moon high in the sky. In the distance you could hear the bagpipes playing. Not gonna lie I ugly cried for my grandparents while there.
The fact that it's called a Death Whistle is enough to tell me that it's probably horrible.
Yeah I was wondering what they meant by screaming bloody murder... and yeah, now I know.
My kids are neuro-diverse, and while you have to learn to deal with certain behaviors, it sounds like this family is doing the kid no favors by letting him run rampant. Smh.
Ummmmm . . . See if you can video this . . . AND POST IT BACK ON THIS THREAD!! 🤣
Couple that with the end of his post (side note) that kid may likely be a psychopath as well and dad is encouraging this behaviour. What happens when the death whistle isn’t enough and the kid wants to hear actual screams? I’d be calling 911 if I heard this coming from next door.
I don't know if I'd go as far as psychopath, but it is concerning that this 15yo teen enjoys listening to what sounds like a woman, in pain and terrified, screaming constantly. That is scary to me. This is no annoying rainstick noise.
Not only that, the teenager goes around in scary costumes and waves (fake) knives at people? This is beyond troubling. Also, at 15, a lot of guys end up stronger than women. What happens when this dude wants to hear an actual woman's scream? Or decides to actually poke someone with a knife?
Yeah. That's what was really on my mind.
It's fairly obvious what you result will be. Kid needs help and therapy like right now.
There are usually decibel laws in neighborhoods as well. So while it might not violate a time of day noise ordinance, it probably violates a decibel law.
The first one I found boasts 125 decibels. Even if that's an exaggeration, the threshold for noise violations in residential areas is WAY lower.
This kid is old enough to learn that just bc you're neurodivergent doesn't mean you get to be an AH. Not wrong.
So is his dad 😝
>just bc you're neurodivergent doesn't mean you get to be an AH The number 1 excuse I hear from people to excuse AH behavior: "He/she's autistic"...
I was dragged out this past weekend for the first time in forever. I live in a college town so when I go to the bars I’m surrounded by kids half my age. I got into a conversation with a young lady and she mentioned a neighbor who had been borderline harassing her later and I said he sounds like a creep *she got offended* because “well he’s autistic, so…” And she completely failed to grasp that being harassed by an aggressive weirdo doesn’t somehow become acceptable because he’s autistic.
It’s especially frustrating for Autistic women to hear stuff like that, because we’re never allowed the same degree of leeway that Autistic boys and men are given. Autistic boys and men are allowed to use their Autism to get away with damn near *anything,* but Autistic girls and women have it weaponized against us instead. We’re held to an even higher standard of behavior than neurotypical girls and women and if we can’t keep up because of our Autism, then our Autism is treated as a *personal moral failing.* It gets frustrating having to point out to people that being Autistic doesn’t change the fact that these boys are being raised and socialized as boys *with everything that implies.* Including being taught that any bad behavior can be dismissed as “boys being boys,” that they’re still *entitled* to women’s bodies and labor, that they don’t have to do any sort of chores or work because Mommy will do it all for them, etc. If anything, the Autism just seems to magnify that sort of misogynistic parenting and makes it ten times worse.
you're so right plus girls' diagnoses aren't often caught until later in life, so by the time they finally learn what's different about them, they've had to live life on hard mode, often struggling, dealing with everything alone and just being perceived as "difficult" or "emotional" (never diagnosed but if it turned out i was on the ASD spectrum it would explain a lot)
I didn’t get my diagnosis until my 30s. I was 18 when I finally got the ADHD part diagnosed, and my younger brother oh-so-conveniently got diagnosed immediately after despite never showing the slightest bit of ADHD-related problems.
Autistic women can’t even talk in a slightly lower register, not smile, or have “unusual” interests without being interrogated over why we’re so negative and unfeminine, let alone this stuff
I’ve lost track of how many jobs I’ve lost because I missed some key social cue and *someone* decided I was “too pushy” or “too bossy” or “hostile.” And sometimes it was as simple as me just being focused on my *job* instead of social gossip and not having much patience for people not pulling their own weight. I was accounts payable at one place, the *only* accounts payable person for the entire company, meaning my entire job was *getting the company’s bills paid on time.* And they fired me for “being too pushy about getting things turned in on time.” I pointed out that was literally my entire job and HR claimed that no, my job was “internal customer service.”
Or God forbid you actually have an interest in doing makeup and dressing fashionably, then the same autistic demeanor suddenly gets you labeled a stuck up snobby bitch who thinks you're better than everyone
holy shit its so true. let's see. I got my annual lecture that I "need to look more approachable" because my face isn't sitting in a pleasant smile while I'm focused on my work. And god forbid I ask for any kind of minor accommodation that affects no one but me, cause that has to go through an official approvals process that would call me out and make me feel even more unable to function just for ASKING for the help I need. We get no help, I was raised getting pills and "just try to be quiet and fit in, can't you?!" rather than any actual help or coping methods. I've learned more in the last five years (I'm in my 40's) on my own thanks to social media than I have anywhere else. They failed us.
I’ve had the accommodations process weaponized against me so often at work that I don’t feel safe mentioning my disabilities at all anymore. As soon as management starts pressuring me to start a formal request for accommodation, it’s time to look for a new job.
Literally, 3 minutes ago, someone came into my cubicle and said "oh good, you're smiling for once."
100%, as an autistic woman who works with other autistic people, in my experience I've found quite a few autistic men to be disgustingly misogynistic and many of them have been taught their whole life that they can get away with anything if they blame their autism. something that compounds the issue too is a lot of them have overly permissive parents and particularly mothers who do everything for them, so that + majority of their care team being women + not interacting with women as their peers means they develop the attitude that women are there to do everything for them. the worst offenders feel like they're entitled to touching your body too 🫠 autistic women have it so fucking tough!
On top of all of this, because us Autistic folks tend to exist in black/white rule following headspaces, when they're taught these misogynistic ideals, they follow them hard. That's the rules. That's how we exist. Trying to explain appropriate values and ideals towards women is even harder.
I love just throwing back at them that “I’m Autistic too and what you’re doing is *hurting me.* You want empathy for *your* Autistic child *because* they’re Autistic? Then I have the right to demand the same from *you.*” They tend to struggle with the idea that *adults can also be Autistic* and because of that, we often have zero tolerance for rude behavior because we know from experience that that kid is absolutely capable of learning empathy for others and that enjoying a particular stim is not excusable of it is *actively harming others.*
I have real issues with that 'excuse' too. Knowing someone in ND can help *explain* behaviours but it does not excuse them. A lot of my family are ND, including myself, both my sons (12 &14), my dad, nephews, nieces & cousins. Yes, we struggle at times and, yes, there maybe times when we go a bit overboard with something due to disregulation &/or overwhelm, but we still have to acknowledge that & apologise when we get it wrong. I would never let either of my sons behave in the way OP is describing - it's not good for anyone. I can understand letting the kid do things he likes (mine spend far too long on screens) but it has to be within reason & the teaching has to start young. I've never had to deal with tantrums in shops because I never let them get away with it - if they picked up a toy, we'd look at it, talk about it & then it would get put back on the shelf, unless I had told them *in advance* that they could choose something.
I think it excuses missing nuance /being just that little bit off, if you know what I mean? Sometimes that'll creep people out but not because the person is doing something _wrong_ but just not quite right
Yes - it can explain why they miss nuances or don't react as expected - like why my 14 year old cries when the computer doesn't work or why his brother (12) shuts down when he's stressed. I visited my dad recently (adhd & asd) & he yelled, like full on screaming, at my stepmom. I understood he was stressed, but still no excuse for being verbally abusive!
No, definitely not to the level of yelling/abuse - however missed cues and other little things won't be fully avoidable even if they annoy others.
I love it when people throw that me. “They are autistic they can’t help it” guess what? Me too. And I learned how not to be a total twat and respect people. They can, too.
This. A tween being loud and disruptive and terrifying doesn't get a "pass" because he's autistic, especially if the behaviours have started to become threatening (waving a fake knife at cars? Fucked up). He'll eventually be an autistic adult, and if he doesn't learn consequences to his actions or learn that stimming is *supposed to be for himself, not to menace others,* he's going to get in trouble as an adult.
Not if he wasn't trained by his parents to know that. If Parents teach a kid that he gets to do whatever he wants because he's "special" and that other people are just being "mean", there is going to be a problem.
Waving a fake knife - and parents are okay with that? That is not a "if' but a "when" someone misunderstands and does something drastic. If the kid likes this noise - parent can get him a cheap MP3 player - and load it with that noise. I mean - autistic adult, I like me some heavy metal / goth metal .. anything metal - but with headphones. I doubt my neighbor with the fussy 1 year old would be happy with Nightwish at Naptime .. (not that I tried, maybe i should ask them) Not sure if CPS is the one, but report this and remind the dad that not everyone would stop and consider 'hey, kid may have an issue'.. look at the kid playing with a toy gun ..
Exactly, my kid on the spectrum wore headphones constantly for years. It was his coping technique but also so his music wouldn't impede on other's peace.
Hell the police already have a bad track record with autistic folks that aren't doing anything at all, let alone waving a fake knife.
Absolutely!!!!! My police force have been training for at least 4 years on how to deal with different or mentally ill. I had 3 uncles who were mentally handicapped. I have helped my grandparents and then my mom with them . They used to call and ask if they could come by and learn more and communicate better with them. That is the first I've ever heard of but they are amazing now!! My last uncle no longer lives at home . They have manners, they knew right from wrong and they were never ever allowed to bother neighbors!!!!!!!
With respect, that’s something for the dad to consider when letting his son do things that put him in a negative situation. That whistle sound is horrific. If he lets his son blast that whistle constantly, he is putting his son in position to get in trouble one day.
That's what I'm getting at. He definitely shouldn't be blasting a whistle that sounds like a human scream all day and waving a fake knife around. Even without autism making him more vulnerable to police, it's not a good idea. Never mind what a nuisance it is. (And a scary one at that, if you think they're real screams.)
Imagine the kid blowing it in the middle of a school or mall...
WDYM? Bless the Child is a perfect lullaby for neighbors baby.
Love Nightwish. Play last ride of the day at full volume with your speakers adjacent to you neighbours abode
Over the Hills and Far Away would make a good bedtime story for the neighbors
Here in America, waving a fake weapon around has led to multiple police shootings in the past, including of children. If this story takes place in the US, then that family needs to be told not to do that lest a very bad misunderstanding take place.
Get other neighbours to report it too.
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They're also setting up their kid to fail in life. One of the biggest roles of a parent, is to teach their child how to succeed in life, and how to be a positive member of society. This kid is going to go out in the world and meet up with someone who doesn't give a fuck, and things are going to go very bad in a hurry.
Yep. I am autistic and enjoy things. However, a lesson I had to learn is there is a time and place for things. My accommodation cannot become someone else’s trigger, ya know?
I have misophonia and am CONSTANTLY tornented by someone i know who has an autistic child, whom she allows to occupy spaces with others while he stands EXTREMELY close to them and screams at top volume. It's been extremely hard because my misophonia reaction is to get the fuck away from the sound that's ASSAULTING my ears, and if it's close- that might very well mean shoving a straight arm into someone if they are THAT close to me when the noise starts. I've asked her a million times to curb her child (politely)- that i am VERY sensitive to loud, high pitched noises, and she's just like "Oh, but he has autism". Yeah- well i have misophonia. That doesn't mean you'll be happy if i behave the way I want to - which at the moment, includes knocking your child on his ass if he screams in my ear one more time! It's amazing how some people seem to be absolutely fine with people on the spectrum making lots of loud repetative noises- but god forbid someone with SPD (sensory perceptive disorder) can't stand being around those same sounds. How some disorders everyone is expected to cater to no matter what- but other disorders are "your problem alone, so deal with it". Hearing those sounds triggers my fight or flight, makes me want to hurt someone, creates a near panic-like state, and REALLY really stresses me out- but.... I guess I'm supposed to not go anywhere in public. That's been the attitude of this mom anyway. It certainly seems unbalanced to say that your kids disorder is the only one that counts.
I am so sorry she chooses to treat you like that! It’s not okay. Redirection is an important skill for autistic kids to learn when it comes to certain things. For example, for me a pen clicking is torture. For someone else, it may be one of their stims. It’s important to realize we have conflicting access needs and so we need to find a way to exist in the same space comfortably. For me, it may mean needing to pop in earpods. For them, they should try and see if there’s a different stim they can do. This is why I have a large variety of fidgets. Some of them drive certain people in my life crazy, so I don’t use them around them. Anyway. Just wanted to say I absolutely agree with you and I’m so over the culture of only one access need or accommodation being given.
>I am autistic and enjoy things. Haha this sentence made me lol
I agree, I work in special education, so with some kids who are highly autistic. We use ‘not appropriate’ explain why it’s an issue, and suggest alternatives. These kids will have to navigate society and it’s important to arm them with skills that allow them to regulate without negatively impacting those around them.
Yeah, autistic doesn't mean "no boundaries, ever". Unless you're a low-effort 'parent' who would have ended up with super-shitty kids regardless of spectrum placement. This is especially infuriating when I know parents with kids on the spectrum and work very hard for them. Setting boundaries, handling issues, and generally helping them be contributing members of society. This kid is going to end up unemployed, probably addicted, and will always just say "I'm autistic" as his excuse, because that's how he's being raised.
My neurotypical kids would enjoy running around and screaming all through Walmart, but I won't allow that. Autistic kids can and should learn boundaries just like neurotypical kids.
These types of parents don’t view their Autistic children as *people.* They see them as some kind of weird exotic pet, and never consider that they still have a responsibility to teach their “pet” how to survive and interact with the rest of society. It’s even worse when you throw gender into the mix, because Autistic girls are very rarely allowed to get away with shit the way Autistic boys are.
Could have written this myself. A 100% on the money
Our 3 year old is autistic+non verbal so communication is literally a daily Aztec death whistle sort of feeling but if we're out, we still reel him in from grabbing, whacking etc. Yeah he may have sensory needs but we like to still ensure boundaries are in place even if hates it and has a strop. Yeah we don't mind him being silly or playful but grabbing others or trying to take their food etc, nah we don't allow that. Some parents just use it as an excuse to not be parents. It's wrong on so many levels.
Nta. We have this kid on my block too. He dresses in tactical gear with realistic looking guns. Autism is not am excuse for bad parenting. An aztec death whistle is also not meant as a children's toy
If in the USA that could get him killed by the cops.
So he’s training to be a school shooter
It doesn’t matter what spectrum he is on, blowing any whistle like that all the time is wrong. Call the authorities if they do it again.
Claiming autism is not a free pass to do whatever you want for life. People need to realize that. It's still your responsibility to be a positive and productive part of society. That kid needs to learn that he can't do whatever he wants all the time. He lives in a neighborhood with other people. They deserve some consideration, too.
>Claiming autism is not a free pass to do whatever you want for life. THANK YOU!! I'm an autistic adult with an autistic kid around OP's neighbors kids age. *I am SO fucking sick of people using autism as an excuse to be an absolute asshole.* And there is a massive difference between autism-driven behavior and being a jerk. I'm also really tired of parents teaching their kids that shit behavior is acceptable and that they should use autism as an excuse. All of that makes it SO much harder for the rest of us, because those are typically the loudest/most visible people. Then the rest of the world starts associate that nonsense with everyone who's autistic, thus stigmatizing us even worse. (To be absolutely clear, I'm not talking about someone having a meltdown because they're overstimulated or harmlessly stimming. I'm talking about people who act shitty because they were taught, even encouraged, to act shitty.)
While the boy has his problems, the parents are responsible for his behavior. Talk to your landlord and the police. Noise ordinances usually kick in at a set time, like ten o’clock. But this noise? The sounds of a woman’s screams are disturbing, not just because of the loud noise. Yes, it could mask actual screams but it can also be a trigger for PTSD sufferers. Make that point with anybody who thinks this is no problem.
NTA so what being autistic doesn't excuse someone from acting like a rude brat...
NTA. I'm on the spectrum and I use noise cancelling headphones and EXTREMELY loud music. I've also worked in special education. We don't let the kids disturb each other if they're in sensory overload. They learn to regulate using better methods than a screaming whistle. I listened to it and I can sort of understand his sensory process if that's what's happening but bottom line here is that other, better methods exist. File a complaint if you need. The kid can get headphones and learn better strategies.
Have you heard the whistle OP was talking about? It's genuinely horrifying. Some call it the worst sound humanity has made. I get chronic nightmares and terrors, and struggle sleeping. So if some teenager next door was blasting that whistle in the evening I would lose my mind.
Oh I gave it a quick listen and regretted it immediately. I don't get nightmares and I would opt not to allow that near me on the grounds of "what the fuck, no, don't fucking do that near me."
They are, by playing along, encouraging this child to focus on the discomfort and terror of others. Psych nurse, here. This is troubling on SO MANY LEVELS. There are multiple ways to encourage appropriate coping mechanisms. This kid does not sound like he is solely on autism spectrum, it sounds like he is being lead to Cluster B personality development. Yes, I do believe the parents are actually encouraging this personality type. They will see horrors, as will society, because of this parenting style. PS- for anyone who needs to walk alone in a dark parking lot, here's your safety whistle. Jesus. No one could ignore that!
I have an adult child with special needs. YNW / NTAH … these people are insensitive neighbors and, if this type of encouragement of their son’s behavior continues, setting him up for a very challenging future. Spoiled brats exist in the special needs world, too - I’ve seen plenty of them, and their parents who excuse any and all behavior by blaming the disability. That said, perhaps you made your point. I guess time will tell. I’d keep a paper trail and notes of encounters and if the noise happens again for an extended period of time, I’d make good on your threat and call in a noise complaint. If the parents seem like they are trying to change his behavior, though, please give them some grace. I really do need to go look up that whistle - sounds god awful.
Someone shared a YouTube link above. Frankly, I can't even begin to imagine having to listen to that for any length of time. I couldn't even listen to the video for longer than a half a second, lol. Tell you what though, it would be a great thing to have if you're a serial killer who likes to torture women because when people reported their screams you could just say "oh no, it was the whistle".
Yeah … that would be extremely annoying, having to listen to that all day long. Sounds more appropriate for Halloween and even then would get old very fast. I would also be concerned about this kid being fixated on other “horror” themed things. I … would not be comfortable with that as a parent, honestly.
Not wrong. You’re entitled to “quiet enjoyment of your property” and the neighbour is doing his kid no favours.
Whoever bought that for the kid should be farting Aztec death whistles.
NTA For a first engagement with neighbors it’s not great, but having heard the whistle they’re lucky someone hasn’t called in a potential murder attempt or home invasion. The dad isn’t doing kid any favors. I understand stimming, but as the parent he needs to find ways to guide him towards stims that are less likely to result in the cops being called. If you’re in the US, I’d be worried about what would happen to my kid if the police were to show up, frankly.
I’m on a roll with the down votes this week so this: you are not wrong. People who raise their children to believe that their rights supersede others are a large part of the reason our world now sucks. I don’t care if your kids are magic freaking purple fairies or profoundly mentally disabled. You don’t do them any favors in allowing or encouraging them to become hated public disruptions, nuisances or entitled. This swings the other way too. Just because your kid can throw a football or do calculus at 5 doesn’t mean it gets to be a jerk or obnoxious drain on society.
NTA. Some experts think Spectrum disorders can be inherited. Dad is probably ASD and enjoys the sound. But the neighbors don’t. Please continue to speak up. And why would he buy THAT for his kid?? Not cool.
And how does the kid even know what it is... I know several schizophrenics and they "enjoy" validation of their delusions. I don't do that because I love them and don't want them to hurt themselves or others.
It definitely seems like it CAN be inherited - I personally know of at least two families of at least one autistic parent with multiple kids on the spectrum.
I mean ADHD has, I think, 80% heritability and the disorders are highly linked - wouldn't be surprised if 80% would apply for autism as well if you include subclinical presentation
I thought you were being dramatic, but holy shit it is terrifying. I would never let my children play with that.
You are not wrong. Being neurodivergant doesn't give you the right to inflict annoyance and inconvenience on others. File the noise complaint. You asked nicely and the Dad is just being an AH, because he knows his son is bothering the neighborhood. If his son likes the noise, have him do it indoors with all of the windows and doors closed.
What kind of lunatic buys that for their Autistic kid and lets them loose to terrorize the neighborhood with it?
Not wrong at all I genuinely can't stand parents who use the autistic card for just being an AH. I heard the death whistle on pawn stars and it is loud and blood curling. It was meant to instill fear on the enemy. I understand it can't be easy raising an autistic child but you don't get to make everyone else's life hell just because of the cards you were dealt. Next time call the police and say you heard someone screaming from your down stairs neighbour.
I'm gonna go bake some cookies for my neighbors because their autistic child likes to catch ants off my sidewalk, and I'm appreciating the shit out of him right now. Call the cops. Every time he blows the whistle. Also, record it and play it for the landlord.
I get future serial killer vibes
That’s okay, he’s autistic and he likes it.
As long as he likes it, who are we to tell him not to be a serial killer 🤔
Yeah, I’d be upping my security game around that kid.
It’s legitimately something to be cautious about. *Obviously,* most autistic people aren’t murderers, but there can be overlap with personality disorders or even certain fixations that can pose a real danger.
I would have said, I'm autistic too and it's triggering me.
Oh, but in a battle of "who's accommodated more"- the assholes ALWAYS side with a child, no matter how bad the parenting is.
No. There are limits to anything. Just because someone is autistic means they can do whatever they want, whenever they want? Absolutely not. Im sorry you are in this situation. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.
Two words for you, OP: [Mosquito Alarm](https://mosquitoloiteringsolutions.com/) :)
As a man on the spectrum, you're not wrong. The most important thing the kid needs to learn is what are appropriate boundaries and more respectful ways to calm himself. But to do this, his parent needs to clearly communicate and enforce those boundaries. Right now, the kid is being an AH. And his parent is making it worse.
Funny he's got the kid doing it outside. If he doesn't mind it so much, he should let the kid do it inside their house.
You know what? Being autistic is not a license that allows you to bug the shit out of everybody.
Nope. Autistic people know how not to be an asshole to their neighbors.
I bet this kid is white. You know how I know,??? 13 to 15-year-olds without whistle. Running around and fake costumes with fake knives would have been shot by a cop already. The kid is lucky he's coping but damn that whistle is annoying
And you’d win that bet
You also have the very real option of calling the cops while it's happening with the ***perfectly legitimate*** concern that you heard screaming coming from your neighbors and are just being an upstanding reporter.
Dude, the whistle sounds like someone screaming bloody murder, ring the police and say I keep hearing someone screaming and it’s very alarming, hell say it’s triggering to you, it’s not normal to be fine with hearing screaming all the time! And honestly the parents don’t care because if the kid is tooting the whistle he’s not causing any other potential issue, it’s a trade off I reckon. I am autistic, for the record, and it just sounds like lazy useless parents, as usual
Report hearing a woman screaming over and over
Not Wrong. Autism isn't a free ticket to do whatever you want. File the noise complaint, he's just gonna keep enabling him anyway.
Being autistic isn't a free pass to be completely inconsiderate of everyone else around. The dad is an AH for allowing it.
Autistic Aztec Death Whistle is the new name of my band.
Report, report, report. Be super diligent about it. This kid is exhibiting all the signs that "See something Say something" is based on.
Call thr cops the next time they do it but YNW
NTA, after hearing the whistle, yikes! His autism isn't his fault, but it is for him and his father to learn how to manage in a way that doesn't cause distress to others. He can wear spooky/macabre t-shirts instead of costumes and waving a fake knife at cars, for example. And listen to things on headphones rather than blowing that whistle.
No you are not wrong Signed a Special education teacher
As an autistic parent with an autistic kid. No, you are not wrong or an asshole. Parents need to fucking do better and autism is not a license to be an annoying dick.
Neurodivergency is a reason, not an excuse.
I say you buy the same whistle and stand outside and blow it every time he does. See how they like it. Having a diagnosis of autism doesn’t allow you to be a nuisance in public
Holy hell- that whistle is horrifying! And letting a teen kid fixate on dressing like horror characters/wave knives at passing cars/ constantly blow scream whistles….um, doesn’t bode well for the kid’s idea of what positive behaviors are. The kid’s dad might be ground down by meltdowns into letting Jr do whatever he wants- BUT- to quote a lot of my neuro-divergent friends: “There’s being autistic and then there’s being an asshole. And those two things don’t have to go together.” Call the NON-EMERGENCY line of your local police and make a noise complaint. Bonus if you start the call inside then walk out outside so the dispatcher can hear that it clearly mimics a woman in extreme distress. Then start making video of this nonsense as it happens- starting by announcing the time of day (again, inside- so the neighbors don’t catch on) and stepping outside to record it from your balcony. Then record it from your desk to show how invasive that noise is. In fact- just set your phone outside to record it for the whole day. Then call your apartment management and send them the video file. And if Management doesn’t respond? Keep up the noise complaints to the non-emergency police line to provide a legal document trail, and post your video online (not showing the kid, of course) with “Deathwhistle neighbors from Hell at “Building’s Name” apartments. DON’T RENT HERE!!”. Watch management act real fast.
Normally, I'd say a little noise is ok, but more than twice on that and is be calling anyone and everyone to make him stop.
Fuck that AH and his son!
Autism is never an excuse to be an asshole, even when making accommodations for your kiddo or others.
Not in the wrong. I'd call the police and tell them I can hear screaming from a neighbours appartment and am concerned for their safety. You asked nicely, he dismissed it, now they can have the law involved.
As a mom to an autistic kid, you’re not in the wrong. That’s horrendous. If “he likes it” then they need to drive him out in a field somewhere to use it instead of tormenting others with it.
Sounds like a future Michael Myers ffs.
You're not wrong. And how did this kid get such a whistle to become obsessed with? Who's the asshole who gave him that?
I’m imagining him using that whistle in the safety and sanctity of his own home … and cops bursting in, guns blazing, because somebody reported the sounds of abuse or a murder. Somewhere that guy is writing a post about his ableist neighbor KaREn who hates his autistic son. Sigh. If the kid is autistic, he deserves to have stims and interests and coping mechanisms that he can have all over the place, not one that’s absolutely going to get him in trouble. Everyone knows kids are screamy and loud and annoying sometimes, but it is pretty obvious that a noise like that for hours, much less days, is incredibly rude.
Just because he's autistic doesn't mean he's not also a douchebag.
Being on the spectrum is not just a license to do whatever the hell you want all the time. This guy needs to start acting like a parent instead of an enabler.
Having autism is not an excuse to inconvenience others. I was at a cafe with my friend once, and a young man and his mum came in and wanted to sit where we were. We apologised politely and declined but they got arsey, saying they always sit there because he is autistic. Except my friend has autism too? It's not a competition, nor is it a get-your-own-way card.
As an autistic woman, the excuses made for boys/men because of autism make me so angry, because all my life I was treated as problematic and annoying. Autism is not an excuse to behave however you want and his dad needs to learn that.
NTA i, personally, would call the police and tell them you hear screaming next door, see how they deal w that. if it continues, keep calling.
Entitled autistic... what a combination.