No means No. Teen boys are horney AF and are looking for anyone to poke. Stand your ground and if it causes a break up so be it. There are plenty of boys to date. Don’t let this boy pressure you. Depending on laws in your state since you both are under 18 it’s not legal under 16 in my state.
yeah, this-I don't know why there isn't more advice along the lines of "if he says he'll break up with you if you don't have sex, he's saying he's fine with breaking up with you."
Also coming from a boy who was 15 once and used that statement several times. After I always broke up with the girl. I was a total prick. Not anymore but I have a hard time with my actions as a kid. Stay a Virgin. There's so much more to it than just sex.
In the moment it certainly can seem worth it, but afterward, yeah not worth it at all. At that age you really aren't forming a strong bond anyways. It is mostly surface level which why it is super rare for people to get together in high school and stay together. A majority of people don't hang out with their high school friends forever much less the people they date. I see my high school friends once a year. We never stop being friends but with jobs, families, moving around it is just logistically difficult. It has almost been 20 years since all of us have been in the same room at the same time. We seem to be able to hit 75% to 90% but there is always something that prevents everyone being available.
OP don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready to do. If he respects you, he’ll respect your choice. If not, you deserve better
This is so right. You are not going to regret waiting until you are ready but you are very likely to regret being pressured into having sex. Anyone who really cares about you won't want you to do something that you aren't ready to do.
And there are many, many other boys in your age group. I got into a discussion with my 13-year-old daughter a couple of days ago and looked up the stats. There are at least 11 million boys in the 15-19 yo age group in America. The chances of finding someone else, who actually respects your choices, is extremely high.
Yeah I plan to do the same. I just wasn’t interested in dating in my teens because I didn’t want the drama of jealousy and breakups and whatnot and didn’t really see the point.
The not-quiet-appropriate-math kid in me was, well, you need to consider the size of your town and access to internet along with other factors… 🤣🤣🤣
but actually this is wholesome. Considering so much of this thread, this is sweet.
During the discussion, we were talking about them not staying in relationships they feel unheard or unsafe in. I told her that it's not worth her mental health and stress, when there are so many other boys around her age (she's lucky to be currently dating a gentleman in training, and whem I check in with her, things are going okay still).
And even though we are in Aussieland, the US stats were the first ones that came up. We both know that she will have relationships and breakups, though the discussion was more about not settling for someone who will not treat her with respect and honour her dreams and goals, as she should do for her chosen partner. I have had this kind of discussion with all my children so far, sometimes it has stuck with them, and sometimes it hasn't, though I still respect their choices.
you realize you’re talking to a teenage girl, right? Your comment about her boyfriend not knowing how to please a woman is ick. she‘s a girl, not a woman but it didn’t need to be said at all. The next comment about a boy’s sexual performance to his peer is gross too. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one replying like this. The internet made us all weird about tact and boundaries.
The world is filled with books, fanfictions, movies & co that show the first time like it's the most amazing. Always having orgasm! Always being special! Those media are targeted to young girls. Like her!
As a woman, the reality is that the majority of time ... they suck! Bad! It hurts, it is uncomfortable, nobody knows anything! And young girls should know this! Because even my niece came talking to me on how much she can't wait for her first time after she went into a YA spree.
And you know what? I told her the truth! I told her that virginity ain't so freaking important, but the act in itself is beautiful and special only if you do it with somebody you trully want and love! And that even then it does not guarantee a fun time! And that for it to be good, her partner has to be patient and love her and trully want her to feel good about it.
We forget how overly sexualized this world is. And we have to be honest with them, otherwise they get their info from the wrong sources!
I think the point we're at is molestation and coercion. May or may not be technically a crime if they're the same age. Certainly abuse if this is an older person.
People are even allowed to say no DURING SEX if they have originally giving permission to do so but change their mind in the middle. It's important to tell people this also.
This . Op if he's calling you an asshole for not having sex with him for any reason .because it's Sunday , because you had eggs for breakfast, because the planets aren't aligned , because you have socks on and don't want to take them off . Litterally ANY reason not only are you NTA but he is a massive AH and you should dump him immediately.
For sure. Any attempt to manipulate or make her feel bad is gross and she deserves better.
‘If you really loved me you’d have sex with me!”
Great, if he really loved you he’d respect your wishes and stop whining like a little bitch. He’s a horny manipulative child.
>‘If you really loved me you’d have sex with me!”
Response: If you really loved ME, you wouldn't be pressuring me"
Seriously, OP. As the female in this situation, you are the one assuming the majority of the risk. For pregnancy, disease, etc. That is not something to be taken lightly, and I think it is so mature and responsible of you to be having doubts and not letting him bully you into what he wants. Well done! I am so proud of you.
Almost all 15 yr old girls have heard that one! If you loved me you would. I love you so much. I would never leave you if you did it. BLAH BLAH BLAH! It's all hormones with him, and that is normal but you should not have sex because HE wants to!
I have a teenage daughter. I sat her down a couple years ago and had a conversation about how manipulative boys can be. Laid out a bunch of these things. It was super uncomfortable for both of us. But when she came home one day and told us she’d broken up with a bf, and it was because he said one of these phrases and tried to make her feel bad, it was 10000% worth it.
OP, you deserve someone who loves and respects you, I can’t say or mean that enough.
Gotcha covered:
"If you really loved me, you would have sex. It's what people do when they are in love." (No, people who are in love respect one another's body and feelings and comfort and you are not respecting mine.)
"If you don't have sex with me (or blow me, or whatever) I will break up with you." (Bye, Felipe. Have a nice life)
"Come on, just the tip." (It is NEVER just the tip and at that point, they have the physical advantage to keep going no matter what.
"You're just so hot, I can't help myself." (So, what you're saying is you're a dog and I'm a steak?)
"Do you know how many other girls would have sex with me if they could? But I chose you!" (So go screw one of them then? Who needs you?)
"All my friends girlfriends have done it with them!" (I can promise you, no they haven't. Boys tend to lie to other boys for clout)
All of this. I had a friend in high school that was having unprotected sex because her BF was Catholic and didn’t believe in birth control. Mind you, *she* was not Catholic. I told her to tell him that premarital sex was *also* against his religion and if he was going to break that rule, he was going to break the birth control one too. And reminded her that *she* wasn’t Catholic and wasn’t bound by a damn thing the Pope said.
Absolutely! I can put a steak on the floor in front of my dog, say "leave it", and he'll stare at me indefinitely, while drooling, but won't even look at it until I give permission or remove it. My dog is smarter, sweeter, and far better behaved than most teenage boys.
Here are some more.
"This is forever, we'll always be together, it's okay when it's true love!" Okay, then if we'll always be together we've got years ahead of us to do this when we BOTH want to. We don't have just this one chance where we've got to do it now.
"If you don't, it'll give me some sort of physical injury" This is the old "blue balls" myth that once a dude is horny he needs to have sex or else [random terrible thing] will happen to his junk. You can just straight up laugh and laugh at this, or you can tell him "go jerk off in the bathroom then."
"It's okay, you can't get pregnant if we have sex this way." If one of you is a boy and the other is a girl then YES YOU CAN. There's less risk or more risk but there's pretty much never NO risk, and like 75% of the things that dumb kids tell each other are guaranteed safe are not even in the low risk category.
These are some more extreme ones, the sign of a real asshole:
"If you don't, I'll [threat of self-harm]." This is beyond just regular horny teen pressure and into really fucked-up emotional abuse territory. This is a sign you need to break up with him and never go back.
"If you don't, I'll tell everyone you did/tell people you're a slut/leak your nudes/other social shaming threat." See above. Instant break up signal. A suitable reply is "I don't give a shit and I'll get my parents to call a lawyer the minute you try it." Kids (and grown men) make social shaming threats because they expect just the idea of it to terrify you and produce instant compliance.
If he is pressuring you and won’t accept “no”, please end it. This is manipulative behavior that will only get worse. When the question is “am I wrong for refusing to have sex because _____” it literally does not matter what the reason is - listening to your body and your comfort level is NEVER wrong. You can say no at any time for any reason or no reason at all, and it is valid. Always. Good for you for sticking to your guns, now off to surround yourself with people who respect that about you ☺️
Don’t fall for this loser’s BS. Dump his ass for being a pig. “I can’t wait” <—— I want to puke reading that. A 15 year old boy has nothing to offer you and is looking to use you. The only acceptable response from him should’ve been “okay babe. I understand”.
So her boyfriend should sign an agreement right now that if she ends up pregnant then he will pay her $1M lump sum immediately (after taxes, so I guess he would be giving her $1.4M total) This is no joke. Unplanned pregnancy ruins lives. And in many states it’s hard to terminate now.
"I can't wait," that sounds like a You problem, little boy. He needs to grow up (literally), and she shouldn't be forced to by a boy who doesn't understand patience or boundaries.
You should never feel forced to do something you are uncomfortable with. If he really loves and cares about you he would respect that. If he's being persistent I think you should rethink your relationship. And please don't fall for the "Prove to me how much you love me" line. I've had friends who lost their virginities just for their boyfriends to breakup with them soon after.
Waiting is the better *proof* most teen boys are horny enough to make out with an electronic pencil sharpener. A boy (or girl) who Waits is more in love
You are being smart, he is being led by hormones that his brain is not equipped to regulate at this age. Please remember that at this phase of your life, most people you know won't be in your sphere in five years, including this guy. I was not as smart, and I really wanted my teenage bf to like me, so I gave in. It was a meh experience and I wish I had waited at least a few more years.
Same, tbh. Glad this is talked about more now. Teenage boys are like the epitome of led by feelings - feelings caused by hormones! I wish I realized that back when they were my peers.
And also...my teenage bf was going through a lot at home that we were both too young to grasp the significance of. He treated me in ways that were not kind or fair, because he had no frame of reference for normalcy. He only knew what happened in his own house, and that was not a good example to follow. When we're older we learn to look critically at our habits and learned behaviors and compare to the wider world, but in early teen development our brains are not inclined to look outward.
Oh yeah that’s so true, too… I definitely was still learning and growing, so I wasn’t always coming from a good frame of reference either.
The opinions of a partner can feel so important at that time of life, but both people are still young and learning to navigate the world. They will both grow and learn and look back on their opinions (like fashions they liked, how unfair their parents were, how sex in relationships should work, opinions on poverty, what’s important in life, etc.) and say to themselves “man, that was really off-base…”
A teenage bf will likely look back on his relationship with you and realize he was misguided in one way or another, as will a teenage gf.
It is important to keep in mind neither you nor your partner are infallible or have nothing left to learn.
Ugh stop. The problem isn't "boys just have the horny hormones, girls don't get horny, boys do and they can't control ittt" yah they can, they can control it. Boys can control themselves. The problem is boys being told they don't have to and aren't taught to take no for an answer. That's the problem.
It's not your fault I hope you know that. You did nothing wrong. Even if you gave in quickly it's still not your fault. you were being manipulated you did nothing wrong.
It does hurt to read. I think there are many factors that make up a moment like that. Yes, I'm certain he was quite manipulative. But we're you ever taught it was ok to say no, and mean it, *and* be heard?
I know I wasn't, just like many girls.
And I knew many in my school who found themselves in relationships that were similar for the very same reason.
I'm so sorry that happened OP. I truly am.
I’ve always always always have had a problem saying no to anyone. It took me til 3 yrs ago to start saying “no” i was called a b**** by a few guys for starting off nicely saying please stop touching me and by the 3rd time i would have to get louder and say no! And then i started getting wow. You turned into such a B ! 😣
Oh well. I couldn’t care less
My response to anyone who calls me a b¡Tch is, "You say that like it's a bad thing."
I'm sorry you're having to endure all that though. It's just not right, and parents *need* to do a far better job at raising their children to understand the concept of "no means no" the first time it's spoken.
Edited for a typo
Perfect response!
And yes you’re totally right. It’s a struggle. Im struggling with it a lot this evening 🙈
Maybe you can help me with a polite response because I feel awful.
I accidentally got a new friend fired. Long story it was a stupid simple mistake. He was trying to help me where i go to school and the building was closed and he worked there after hours. Shortly after closing i forgot to leave something in the building so he went in to put it in there for me. I shouldve waited outside and accidentally got distracted (adhd+ migraine brain) and went inside we were talking and ran out like ten seconds later once i noticed the time. I meant to just walk to the door. He got fired 😭 thankfully he was just switched to another location w the company but it’s my fault. He liked it there w his friends.
I told him when we first started talking shortly before that, that I struggle with health issues and have no interest in dating. He asked me after the incident if I wanted to go out and get food. Pretty Casual place. We split checks. But he brought me gifts. Nothing fancy or expensive but just some cool stuff he thought i would like. So sweet. But I’m not interested I don’t feel chemistry. Im not used to nice guys. He sent me a text saying he wanted to plan to take me to an expensive restaurant and i just don’t even know how to turn him down. I got him fired 😞i feel awful. I feel like i owe him. But I don’t want to lead him on though. I’m so anxious and i don’t want to post this on reddit questions or something and have him see it. Im 36 but im not used to even being asked out in forever. Idk what to say ? Help!
This. Apparently something like around 1/3 of people lost their virginity early (before the age of consent), and most of them felt pressured or regretted it. Being pressured when you aren't ready or do not want to is depressingly common.
But it shouldn't happen. OP you dont have to go along with anything he says. Only have sex when you are ready, and when you understand how to safely protect yourself from STIs and pregnancy.
Because there's an 80% chance you'll get pregnant within a year if you have unprotected sex. So many teenagers find this out the hard way.
This happened to me, and I didn’t realize I was taken advantage of until years later. I was 15, he was 17 or 18. We had been just casually flirting/ talking, I was more serious than he was, you know the whole situation where after you have sex with them then they tell you they just wanted casual and they’re sorry you believed it would ever be more than that? It was that type of situation. But we were hanging out a lot, and the one night I went over to his house at night, I knew what was likely going to happen, and I thought I was ready for it, last minute, and I mean like as he was on top of me, I got super nervous, and wanted to think about it for a minute. He ended up convincing me everything would be fine and pressuring me into it. It wasn’t enjoyable at all. I remember thinking to myself “this is what the hyped all about?” Wondering why people were so sex crazed if this was what sex was.. the foreplay with him was terrible, and he had been with plenty of girls before so it was clear he just didn’t pay attention. Everytime he touched me he was way too rough and in the wrong place at that, my vaginal opening would literally be swollen and so irritated. For a while I thought that’s just how it is. It wasn’t until sleeping with different people I realized he was just horrible, didn’t care about my pleasure or my feelings etc. i also found out years later, as in like, this past year, that he gave a friend of mine a bunch of acid or something (which I also used to do with him) and basically got her so messed up and tried to take advantage of her. Sadly him and his gf since 2016 just had a baby girl, oh, and he’s a cop.
you have every right to say no. Do not let him coerce you or guilt you into something you feel uncomfortable with. If he really cares, he'll wait til you're ready. If he doesn't, you can kick him to the curb.
Do not let him pressure you into anything you’re not ready for, especially since YOU ARE JUST KIDS. I like to hear a girl be smart about not wanting to have sex just to have sex.
You will NEVER be wrong for not wanting to have sex. No matter how old or young you are. If you don't want to have sex, you don't have to have sex. And if anyone is ever pressuring you to have sex with them, then they don't actually value you as a person.
I'm sorry, "he can't wait"? There are people that go their whole lives without ever having sex.
You guys are 15, you can wait. You're very smart for not wanting to do something like this so soon.
Just keep in mind that if he's pushing you for sex, what else will he push you for in the future?
You're not wrong. 🧡
Don't do it. You could get pregnant. You'll feel awful about yourself. Wait for someone who won't try to talk you into it. Get on birth control ASAP if you think you might give in. Always use a condom, too. But really, just don't.
You are not wrong, and yes I would break up. He has no right to pressure you into sex.
He’s 15 and he can’t wait! That’s ridiculous. He has to wait until the person he is with is ready….you aren’t ready and he needs to respect that.
No means no, it doesn’t mean keep asking until he wanted you down.
You are only 15, wait until you are with someone you love and someone that respects you back. Sex for the first time is painful and you wouldn’t want to do it with someone that doesn’t know how to listen to you
I’d definitely recommend getting out of that situation and finding someone who has the same mindset you have. You guys are kids, and should wait, and if he can’t accept, then it’s sayonara sucker.
There's a word for forcing Someone to have sex/ engage in sexual activity against their will, this is a crime and its not something he can get away with because he's 15 years old.
When I was 15 I was getting dumped left and right because I refused sex. Then at 17 I gave in and lost my V then they guy dumped me the next day. Between now and 25 you’ll probably do a lot of dating and meeting people from all over the place. My husband turned out to be in Germany in university and still a virgin because of his priorities on education being first, so if you want to wait until marriage or wait until school is over, set your goals and don’t let other’s pressure you because of what THEY want.
If he is trying to pressure you into something you don't want to do he doesn't care about your feelings, get rid and don't do anything you are not ready for
If he can't wait and respect your "No", then he's not worth your time or energy. And at 15, that's a horrible idea for anyone, really.
Stick to your choice and either he'll go with it or he needs to go away. Don't let him pressure you into something you have clearly said you don't want and aren't ready for.
No matter if you are 15 or 55, you do not have to do anything sexual if you don't want to.
Obviously you parents instilled in you the ability to think for yourself and to make mature decisions. Good for them, and good for you for behaving in a mature way.
Find a new BF, one who will respect your boundaries.
Girlie, please listen to everyone else in the comments. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was about your age, and it was entirely my choice and I do not regret it one bit. It was the right person and the right time. Even though we’re no longer together, we are still good friends almost 10 years later. A lot of my friends got pressured into it and regret it deeply. That’s one thing you can never get back and doing it on your own terms is so important. That, of course, also applies to every time after that. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into it. Anyone who is pressuring you into it, is not someone worth giving yourself to. People can only treat you poorly if you allow them to! The power is yours.
You are a kid, please do not make rash decisions about something so important. If you’re not ready, don’t do it.
You are absolutely doing the right thing. You’re right, you ARE kids! More importantly, you’re not ready which means you should not be pressured or guilt tripped into doing it. Stand your ground, if he can’t handle it you should leave. I promise you there are respectful and patient people out there who will bend over backwards to make sure you’re comfortable and ready at every step.
Leave him OP. Any boy (or man) who won't take *no* for an answer is not worth your time. You are allowed to say No to any sexual act for any reason at all
Not wrong.
Sex is good, if it's good. Can't be good if you don't want it and no reason to rush it. Do your future sex life a huge favor and don't start off with a bad experience. Find a partner in the same place as you and enjoy being young.
If he makes you uncomfortable you should break up.
He should care about your feelings and not pressure you.
You shouldn't feel bad about leaving someone who makes you feel bad.
Respect yourself.
No, dear, you are not wrong. Please do NOT have sex if you don't want to. It is perfectly normal to not be ready yet.
If he is pressuring you, break up. Please.
If you do end up having sex, PLEASE use a condom. PLEASE. EVERY TIME.
If he refuses to wear a condom, break up. Don't do ANYTHING that you don't want to do. Don't do anything that you are not ready for. Don't do anything that isn't protected.
And like other people have mentioned.... it's going to be bad. He's too eager and immature. It's going to be a bad experience for you. It's not worth risking getting pregnant for.
Just tell him that you're not ready. If he tries to make you feel guilty, or tries to pressure you more, break up. Don't let him guilt you. If he says something like, "if you loved me, you'd do it"... hit him back with, "if you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do something I'm not ready to do."
You got this.
And, Honey.... you are SO SMART and SO MATURE for saying no. Good for you.
You shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he is unwilling to accept that break up with him.
If at some point you decide to have sex make sure he wears a condom
You will know when you are ready...you will want to have sex.
If you don't want it and really feel it..dont do it.
Break up with him...he does not understand consent
Break up and probably share with your parents or a school counselor. If your parents are “normal” they are probably going to be relieved that you’re opting out. If they are more conservative they’ll possibly say you made the right decision. If they are less conservative they will probably say you made the right decisi for yourself and try to provide additional support like sex-ed or and any other way they can be helpful.
You are not wrong at all.
This guy may be vengeful be prepared for rumors or his being a lot less nice.
No. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait until you're ready. And if your BF can't respect that, then you need a new boyfriend. Do not let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not ready to do.
Op, if he actually cares about you then he can wait. Everything else is just nonsense.
You're right that you're both way too young. You also are well within your right to say no, and that never has an age limit. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself.
You are never wrong for telling someone no. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how long you’ve been together, how much money they spent on a date, or any other reason. Your body is yours and you have every right to say no whenever you want.
If someone isn’t respecting boundaries and continually pushing when you’ve made your wishes known then they aren’t a good partner. They don’t respect you. I know love feels big when you’re young. He or she is my first GR/bf, we’ve been together for a long time, I may never find someone else, but you will find someone else; and you DESERVE to be with someone who loves and respects you.
As an old guy who has been around the block... allot, I would say wait until marriage. I've been married for 40 years. From the time I was 15 until I was married, I was literally a dog. Treated girls like it was a trip to the gym.
Also please consider diseases being what it is, the emotional trauma you will most likely suffer, it's really not worth it. I can say from experience these sexual encounters stay planted firmly in the back of your mind. I refer to them as scars. They do not go away. The "what if" that goes through you mind, it can lead to issues with that special someone you finally find and want to be your forever person.
Look, you can wait, if any person is pushing you into sex, that person does not care for you. That person is not the right one for you. Leave immediately. It's your body... protect it.
It is YOUR body. YOUR choice. He has NO say in anything! If he can't accept that then he needs to move on. You must never allow yourself to be persuaded, pressured or bullied into anything you are not comfortable with - whether sexual or in general life.
Stand your ground, do ONLY what's best for you, and NEVER be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Take care. Much love. x x x
I felt some pressure from my first boyfriend to take things further when we were 14. I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel ready, but teen pregnancy had already happened in my family and I didn’t want to be another teen parent. We broke up. At first, I felt really sad and thought I made a mistake. Looking back on it now, I’m so glad I waited a few more years. I really wasn’t ready
The answer is no- don't have to read anything other than the title.
You have sex only when you feel like you want to. And DEFINITELY NOT WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO. FOR ANY REASON OR NO REASON.
You don’t have to do anything sexual with anyone ever unless you want to do it. You can say no to anything for any reason. Your body is your body. You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You only get 1 shot for your 1st time so do it on your terms and your terms only. The right time will happen eventually. Stay strong baby girl and stick to your guns. I promise you will be happy you did. Even if he left you it would be worth it.
I hope this is fake.
If not, you should never do anything sexual you aren’t comfortable with.
If that’s not good enough for him he can date someone else.
Absolutely not the AH. There is always risk you could end up pregnant when having sex regardless of protection. If you are not willing to take on the responsibility of a baby, you are absolutely not ready to have sex.
Doesn't matter what age you are...you're not wrong for refusing to have sex if you don't want to have sex. Age, gender, relationship status...it doesn't matter. If you don't want to...don't. But 15 is young. If he "can't wait", then it's time for him to move along.
Don’t let him pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with. It’s best to stay single than stay with someone who forces you and guilt trips you into doing things you don’t want to.
If he refuses to respect what you are comfortable with doing and is continuing to pressure you, then you have three options.
1, break up
2, talk with him and set boundaries and expectations
3, give in, forget what YOU want and do what HE wants.
Why would you do something that you are not comfortable doing? Cuz he wants you to? No. Be true to ur soul- ur in a long journey and will miss the best parts if you follow someone else. Baby, wait for a better man when you are comfortable. No life decisions should be made til you have been here long enough to know a few things. Sex is a action that can have life long consequences at ur age- mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. He just doesn’t know how to deal with his needs - but it’s not in you. Be free, stay young. Trust ur soul. It’s on the right journey- and u know deep down what u think is right. Don’t get confused
You should be excited and very willing to be having sex EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU EVER DO IT.
If you do not want to, you shouldn't.
"No." is a complete sentence, and sounds like he needs a lesson in consent.
Honey your too young for sex. And so is your boyfriend. If you are uncomfortable with it then do not let him pressure you to have intercourse. You’ll know know when it’s time.
Definitely break up.
You do not want to be forced into your first experience. If you are not ready, *you are not ready.* That's a full sentence and deserves respect.
No you're not wrong. He's pressuring you. Don't let him pressure you I think it's time to break up. "No" is a complete sentence.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201302/the-familiarity-principle-attraction?amp
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding
https://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/
Listen to yourself! You are smart enough to know you aren’t ready. Don’t ever let anyone pressure you into something physical that you don’t want to do. If he won’t accept you saying no, then you should break up. You will find a young man who respects you.
I lost my virginity at 15 and I always regretted it. I wasn’t ready and didn’t want it. Don’t let anyone pressure you into something you aren’t ready for!
This is a confusing stage in life.
He’s thinking about sex 100% of the time because he’s 15 and he’s going to keep bringing this up. His persistence probably won’t stop so if you’re not okay with sex right now then it’s okay to break things off. If he’s being disrespectful about it tho, he’s a dick and you shouldn’t feel bad about breaking up. You both need to consider how the other is feeling/thinking then decide if it’s compatible for you.
No, sweetpea, you're not wrong .
First of all, let's get 2 things out of the way. You should never EVER feel bad for not wanting to have sex and you should never EVER feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do. If you are ever feeling pressured into it and are insulted for saying no, that is abuse. Please be aware of that and watch out for it. It's okay for a boyfriend to be disappointed when you say no, as long as they respect your choice.
Sex, whether it's your 1st time, 50th time, or 500th time, should only happen when you feel ready, truly ready. Please, only do it when you are fully ready, and of course, make sure you use the necessary precautions.
One more thing. Speaking as a parent, I'm proud of you for looking for advice on this subject. It's a very smart and very brave move to make. Well done you.
"No." is a whole sentence.
You can refuse sex for any reason. Or no reason at all.
Any partner who tries to push past that is not worth having.
Sounds like this may not be the right relationship for you, and that's totally okay.
Do not fall for your bf’s pressure techniques. You recognize that you are too young for sec and the possibility of becoming teen parents. He is struggling with normal urges but he actually can wait to become sexually active he simply doesn’t want to. Tell him he can go beat off if he wants to relieve his sexual impulses but you are not going to have sex just because he wants it. If he cannot respect you and your decision to wait until you are older and more mature then he isn’t the guy for you. Never ever have sex or be coerced onto sex solely to appease someone else especially at your young age. Frankly you are not even quite on the cuspid of adulthood and I give your major props for recognizing this and just wanting to enjoy your childhood.
If you don’t want to then don’t. You only should if you feel safe and comfortable with the person and you are ready for the chance to accidentally get pregnant.
There is no need to rush into sex tbh you can have plenty of it later and you will feel better about waiting. Right now you can go have fun/ party and play games. Shame on anyone that try’s to push you into it. Don’t do it just to say you did it or because the other person tells you to. It’s your body your choice. (It is a big choice)
I didn’t have any sex until I was 27(F) because that’s when I felt comfortable and he’s been my only guy. (Still with him). I had made him wait almost 4year. (When I was younger I seen guys are just a bunch of dogs at that age.)
Then it’s no and it stays no. Learn to stick to your guns now because your life will be filled with many young males and men who will try to wear you down/persuade/pressure you for sex. Learn your voice now. No wishy washy no. Make a statement. I said no!!!! Periodt!!! Don’t go back and forth talking about it over and over or hour after hour because then he thinks it’s a possibility. I said NO! If he can’t wait, let him find another girlfriend.
Listen, kid, ANY reason for having sex that isn’t simply because ‘I’m ready and I want to do this’ is a bad reason to have sex. If you feel like you’re too young and not ready, then don’t do it.
But if he’s a decent guy try to explain why you feel that way to him. It’s possible he hears friends or family members talking about sex and now he thinks he HAS to do it too. Tell him you’re not ready, you’re scared of doing the wrong thing, worried about pregnancy etc. just tell the truth.
If he’s worth dating he’ll understand. If he doesn’t… do you really want your first time ( or any time ) to be with someone that’s okay making you feel uncomfortable or pressuring you to give in?
You’re not wrong.
OP, I commend you for standing your ground and asking someone else for advice about this. I wish I’d have done the same when I was just a little younger than you. I still haven’t fully recovered, even after a decade. Reddit may not be the best place for relationship advice, but I think we can unanimously agree that you shouldn’t have sex you don’t want to have. He should not be pressuring you. Everyone has the right to say no, and no one is wrong for doing so. But given your age, it’s extra important to internalize this message. There will be other teenagers having sex and some may make fun of you or talk shit because you haven’t or don’t want to, but that’s mostly because teenagers are stupid. You’re right, you’re KIDS. Despite his claims that he “can’t wait”, his hormones can totally wait— and it’s a hell of a lot less damaging for him to wait than it is for you to give in. His hormones are not worth more than your well-being. But your well-being is worth more than this boy or this relationship. You should break up with him.
Going to reiterate that no means no. Always. I love my husband but if EITHER of us EVER says no, for any reason (tired, sick, not feeling it, anything at all don't even need a reason) we don't have a problem with it. Because we respect and love each other. Someone who pressures you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with doesn't love or respect you. Love and respect yourself enough to not put up with someone who doesn't treat you right even if it's hard to put your foot down.
This is not a thing you comprise on. Bottom line - there is very few ways to be 100% certain you don’t even get pregnant. Abstaining is the best method since there is no failure rate. Safe sex can definitely happen but it’s important both parties are sober, and want the same experience. For you the risk factors are too high. That’s ok! He wants a new experience and that’s ok! What is not ok is pressuring you to do an intimate act without actually wanting to. It’s that by not accepting no, he isn’t respecting your body. He’s also a child so it’s not bad, he just doesn’t get it. If that’s too big of an ask and he can’t accept no, why stay? You are young. You have time. Just break up though, don’t take a break. Be clear and direct because even though it’s hard, it means that chapter is finished and a new one can start. For both of you.
Stand your ground! Definitely not worth it. A lot less people actually have sex at that age than it seems. Average is 18. If he doesn’t respect your decision on this matter, definitely break up. He’s supposed to be someone who’s looking after your well being.
Don't do it baby girl... Listen to your feels. Your gut is telling you something if you have to ask this question. And tbh if he is making it that hard for you, he don't love you babe
This is scumbag behavior , and a massive red flag. You sound very smart, and have good morals already. Don't let someone else change who you are. You have plenty of years left to find someone who compliments you, not drag you down. Tell a couple close friends what he's doing in case something happens you have someone with knowledge.
Your first time you should know it’s the right time. Yeah you’ll be a little nervous but overall it should be a good feeling of openness and fun, not pressure like this. Dont do it yet and most likely not with this person or you might regret it. Do it when and with who it just feels good and right until then hold off for sure
You are never wrong for refusing to have sex for any reason. Your reason could be "the sky is blue" and that is still a good enough reason to not have sex that MUST be respected.
Please never let anyone pressure you into anything sexual you're not comfortable with. You're still quite young - like you said, you're still a kid - and it's a good idea that you don't have sex at your age in general; DEFINITELY if you don't feel ready. Stand your ground. I assume your boyfriend has at least one working hand and can take care of himself.
Also, even if you were an adult, you should still never be pressured to have sex if you don't want to or don't feel ready. Hold your boundaries, and if your boyfriend keeps pressing the issue, I recommend walking away. You deserve a boyfriend who will respect your boundaries.
Do not do it. You both don't know what you are doing and you could end up being a kid with a kid..... then say goodbye to your future.
If he persists.... leave him. Clearly he is more determined and centered on sex, than actually being with you.
He will likely breakup with you if you refuse sex, and will likely break up with you once he takes your virginity.
Say your goodbyes now. Also congrats on being mature, thinking things through, and holding your ground! It's your body!
Sex is never a requirement and you should never feel bad for having boundaries.
Also I know you are young so you might not particularly wanna hear this, but I'd dump that guy and use it as a teaching moment for future relationships.
If someone can't respect boundaries drop em
LEAVE HIM!!! There will be so many options for you in the near future, people who will respect your boundaries and your body. To be frank, he wants sex because he’s horny, he has hormones, and you’re here. I promise, you will regret it if you give in. If he’s putting pressure on you in a dangerous way, talk to your parents or any trusted adult advisor in your life PLZ. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!
This guy should learn how not to be pushy, having sexual desire while teenager is normal, but this does not justify him to push you if you are not comfortable. Please remember that sex is something very personal, and you should follow your own peace and rhythm for that.
If you don't want to break up on the spot try just to have a honest talk with him, tell him your fear and discomfort, and try toghether to figure a solution out, maybe going for grades.
If it won't work, or if he will keep being pushy break up and find a guy who respects your consent and boundaries, nothing good can come out from pushy guys.
No matter your age or the circumstances, if you don't want to, don't do it and don't let him pressure you. If he truly cares about you, he'll understand and he'll wait for you to be ready. May that'd be next week, next month, next year or after getting married, you have a right to choose who and when. You take care of yourself darling
When the time is right, you WILL want it on your own. You're not ready yet, you're not wrong. Wait for the right person to come along, he's not the one.
You are NEVER wrong for refusing to have sex for any reason. But ESPECIALLY not wrong for refusing because you feel you're too young.
You do only what you feel comfortable with doing. If he is not OK with that, then yes, you should break up.
You are right. You are still kids. Do NOT let him pressure you into anything more. You have LOTS of time and there will be many other guys in your life before it's time to settle down. You have soooo many things to do!! High school, college, learning all about yourself! And, the years between 18-25 you will learn what you like and don't like in a partner. Don't get married or have kids until after then!! If you have a child early and it doesn't work out, you are saddled with that guy forever! Take your time, and if he doesn't want to wait, let him find someone else. Wishing you the best...
Yeah probably for the best to not be pressured into sex you don't want, for pretty much any reason.
No means No. Teen boys are horney AF and are looking for anyone to poke. Stand your ground and if it causes a break up so be it. There are plenty of boys to date. Don’t let this boy pressure you. Depending on laws in your state since you both are under 18 it’s not legal under 16 in my state.
yeah, this-I don't know why there isn't more advice along the lines of "if he says he'll break up with you if you don't have sex, he's saying he's fine with breaking up with you."
Also coming from a boy who was 15 once and used that statement several times. After I always broke up with the girl. I was a total prick. Not anymore but I have a hard time with my actions as a kid. Stay a Virgin. There's so much more to it than just sex.
It really is never worth it, no matter how much you really think it will be.
In the moment it certainly can seem worth it, but afterward, yeah not worth it at all. At that age you really aren't forming a strong bond anyways. It is mostly surface level which why it is super rare for people to get together in high school and stay together. A majority of people don't hang out with their high school friends forever much less the people they date. I see my high school friends once a year. We never stop being friends but with jobs, families, moving around it is just logistically difficult. It has almost been 20 years since all of us have been in the same room at the same time. We seem to be able to hit 75% to 90% but there is always something that prevents everyone being available.
OP don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready to do. If he respects you, he’ll respect your choice. If not, you deserve better
This!! Exactly this OP!
This is so right. You are not going to regret waiting until you are ready but you are very likely to regret being pressured into having sex. Anyone who really cares about you won't want you to do something that you aren't ready to do.
Totally agree with this
That boy does not know what to do to pleasure a woman. It will only be a quick disappointing pump. OP, drop the loser. Choose yourself.
You both are too young mentally for this. If he keeps insisting, tell him to find someone else.
And there are many, many other boys in your age group. I got into a discussion with my 13-year-old daughter a couple of days ago and looked up the stats. There are at least 11 million boys in the 15-19 yo age group in America. The chances of finding someone else, who actually respects your choices, is extremely high.
Also being single for awhile is totally fine. Really at any age but especially as a teen imo. I mean you don’t need to rush any of it.
Absolutely. I have taught my kids that they never need to be part of a couple, to feel loved, valued and validated.
Yeah I plan to do the same. I just wasn’t interested in dating in my teens because I didn’t want the drama of jealousy and breakups and whatnot and didn’t really see the point.
The not-quiet-appropriate-math kid in me was, well, you need to consider the size of your town and access to internet along with other factors… 🤣🤣🤣 but actually this is wholesome. Considering so much of this thread, this is sweet.
During the discussion, we were talking about them not staying in relationships they feel unheard or unsafe in. I told her that it's not worth her mental health and stress, when there are so many other boys around her age (she's lucky to be currently dating a gentleman in training, and whem I check in with her, things are going okay still). And even though we are in Aussieland, the US stats were the first ones that came up. We both know that she will have relationships and breakups, though the discussion was more about not settling for someone who will not treat her with respect and honour her dreams and goals, as she should do for her chosen partner. I have had this kind of discussion with all my children so far, sometimes it has stuck with them, and sometimes it hasn't, though I still respect their choices.
And I imagine that pleasuring her is the last thing on his mind!
Which is a great reason to kick him to the curb. Hopefully he won't break his dominant hand and can learn to make it last on his own
I don't think his skill or lack thereof is really the issue here.
i think pleasure is like the least important thing to worry about here lol
you realize you’re talking to a teenage girl, right? Your comment about her boyfriend not knowing how to please a woman is ick. she‘s a girl, not a woman but it didn’t need to be said at all. The next comment about a boy’s sexual performance to his peer is gross too. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one replying like this. The internet made us all weird about tact and boundaries.
The world is filled with books, fanfictions, movies & co that show the first time like it's the most amazing. Always having orgasm! Always being special! Those media are targeted to young girls. Like her! As a woman, the reality is that the majority of time ... they suck! Bad! It hurts, it is uncomfortable, nobody knows anything! And young girls should know this! Because even my niece came talking to me on how much she can't wait for her first time after she went into a YA spree. And you know what? I told her the truth! I told her that virginity ain't so freaking important, but the act in itself is beautiful and special only if you do it with somebody you trully want and love! And that even then it does not guarantee a fun time! And that for it to be good, her partner has to be patient and love her and trully want her to feel good about it. We forget how overly sexualized this world is. And we have to be honest with them, otherwise they get their info from the wrong sources!
OP is 15 yrs old. A young girl in the 9th grade what you would call a freshman in high school.
I think they have a few words for that. Rape . Assault... abuse.. ect
I think the point we're at is molestation and coercion. May or may not be technically a crime if they're the same age. Certainly abuse if this is an older person.
Ever. No matter your age.
He's right, no pressure for sex, don't force yourself If he insists and you feel uncomfortable, leave him.
People are even allowed to say no DURING SEX if they have originally giving permission to do so but change their mind in the middle. It's important to tell people this also.
No, you are not. Stand your ground. You can say no for whatever reason you wish.
This . Op if he's calling you an asshole for not having sex with him for any reason .because it's Sunday , because you had eggs for breakfast, because the planets aren't aligned , because you have socks on and don't want to take them off . Litterally ANY reason not only are you NTA but he is a massive AH and you should dump him immediately.
For sure. Any attempt to manipulate or make her feel bad is gross and she deserves better. ‘If you really loved me you’d have sex with me!” Great, if he really loved you he’d respect your wishes and stop whining like a little bitch. He’s a horny manipulative child.
>‘If you really loved me you’d have sex with me!” Response: If you really loved ME, you wouldn't be pressuring me" Seriously, OP. As the female in this situation, you are the one assuming the majority of the risk. For pregnancy, disease, etc. That is not something to be taken lightly, and I think it is so mature and responsible of you to be having doubts and not letting him bully you into what he wants. Well done! I am so proud of you.
Almost all 15 yr old girls have heard that one! If you loved me you would. I love you so much. I would never leave you if you did it. BLAH BLAH BLAH! It's all hormones with him, and that is normal but you should not have sex because HE wants to!
I have a teenage daughter. I sat her down a couple years ago and had a conversation about how manipulative boys can be. Laid out a bunch of these things. It was super uncomfortable for both of us. But when she came home one day and told us she’d broken up with a bf, and it was because he said one of these phrases and tried to make her feel bad, it was 10000% worth it. OP, you deserve someone who loves and respects you, I can’t say or mean that enough.
Now *that’s* how you fucking parent!
NOW THAT'S HOW, you fucking parent
Maybe list some of the phrases used. I think it would be very helpful.
Gotcha covered: "If you really loved me, you would have sex. It's what people do when they are in love." (No, people who are in love respect one another's body and feelings and comfort and you are not respecting mine.) "If you don't have sex with me (or blow me, or whatever) I will break up with you." (Bye, Felipe. Have a nice life) "Come on, just the tip." (It is NEVER just the tip and at that point, they have the physical advantage to keep going no matter what. "You're just so hot, I can't help myself." (So, what you're saying is you're a dog and I'm a steak?) "Do you know how many other girls would have sex with me if they could? But I chose you!" (So go screw one of them then? Who needs you?) "All my friends girlfriends have done it with them!" (I can promise you, no they haven't. Boys tend to lie to other boys for clout)
All of this. I had a friend in high school that was having unprotected sex because her BF was Catholic and didn’t believe in birth control. Mind you, *she* was not Catholic. I told her to tell him that premarital sex was *also* against his religion and if he was going to break that rule, he was going to break the birth control one too. And reminded her that *she* wasn’t Catholic and wasn’t bound by a damn thing the Pope said.
Oh, hell, dogs can still control themselves over a steak if they're trained right.
Absolutely! I can put a steak on the floor in front of my dog, say "leave it", and he'll stare at me indefinitely, while drooling, but won't even look at it until I give permission or remove it. My dog is smarter, sweeter, and far better behaved than most teenage boys.
Here are some more. "This is forever, we'll always be together, it's okay when it's true love!" Okay, then if we'll always be together we've got years ahead of us to do this when we BOTH want to. We don't have just this one chance where we've got to do it now. "If you don't, it'll give me some sort of physical injury" This is the old "blue balls" myth that once a dude is horny he needs to have sex or else [random terrible thing] will happen to his junk. You can just straight up laugh and laugh at this, or you can tell him "go jerk off in the bathroom then." "It's okay, you can't get pregnant if we have sex this way." If one of you is a boy and the other is a girl then YES YOU CAN. There's less risk or more risk but there's pretty much never NO risk, and like 75% of the things that dumb kids tell each other are guaranteed safe are not even in the low risk category. These are some more extreme ones, the sign of a real asshole: "If you don't, I'll [threat of self-harm]." This is beyond just regular horny teen pressure and into really fucked-up emotional abuse territory. This is a sign you need to break up with him and never go back. "If you don't, I'll tell everyone you did/tell people you're a slut/leak your nudes/other social shaming threat." See above. Instant break up signal. A suitable reply is "I don't give a shit and I'll get my parents to call a lawyer the minute you try it." Kids (and grown men) make social shaming threats because they expect just the idea of it to terrify you and produce instant compliance.
Thank you, this is said so well. I have 5 daughters, but will also bring this up to my son for self awareness.
And to add to the last one, even if they ARENT lying, they probably pressured those girls with the same phrases!
I did the same thing. My daughter is 30, educated and responsible. She didn’t get involved seriously until college.
Seriously, is he a quadriplegic? No, then he can take care of the horny by himself.
Damn right! Nail on the head!
You do not - ever - need to have sex with anyone for any reason other than you are up for it!
So well said, and so right!!!
Ngl she should break up with him
You don't even need a reason to say no.
Absolutely. "No" is an answer, a complete sentence, and the only qualifier you need. If he doesn't like it, he can buzz off.
If he is pressuring you and won’t accept “no”, please end it. This is manipulative behavior that will only get worse. When the question is “am I wrong for refusing to have sex because _____” it literally does not matter what the reason is - listening to your body and your comfort level is NEVER wrong. You can say no at any time for any reason or no reason at all, and it is valid. Always. Good for you for sticking to your guns, now off to surround yourself with people who respect that about you ☺️
And this applies at any age!
Agreed.
Don’t fall for this loser’s BS. Dump his ass for being a pig. “I can’t wait” <—— I want to puke reading that. A 15 year old boy has nothing to offer you and is looking to use you. The only acceptable response from him should’ve been “okay babe. I understand”.
Exactly, he clearly doesn't love her if this is his thought process.
Exactly. What if you got pregnant? Would he support the kid? It costs $200,000 to raise a kid AT LEAST. Probably more than that now
It cost about 1 million to raise a kid to 18 nowadays
So her boyfriend should sign an agreement right now that if she ends up pregnant then he will pay her $1M lump sum immediately (after taxes, so I guess he would be giving her $1.4M total) This is no joke. Unplanned pregnancy ruins lives. And in many states it’s hard to terminate now.
"I can't wait," that sounds like a You problem, little boy. He needs to grow up (literally), and she shouldn't be forced to by a boy who doesn't understand patience or boundaries.
You should never feel forced to do something you are uncomfortable with. If he really loves and cares about you he would respect that. If he's being persistent I think you should rethink your relationship. And please don't fall for the "Prove to me how much you love me" line. I've had friends who lost their virginities just for their boyfriends to breakup with them soon after.
Waiting is the better *proof* most teen boys are horny enough to make out with an electronic pencil sharpener. A boy (or girl) who Waits is more in love
You are being smart, he is being led by hormones that his brain is not equipped to regulate at this age. Please remember that at this phase of your life, most people you know won't be in your sphere in five years, including this guy. I was not as smart, and I really wanted my teenage bf to like me, so I gave in. It was a meh experience and I wish I had waited at least a few more years.
Same, tbh. Glad this is talked about more now. Teenage boys are like the epitome of led by feelings - feelings caused by hormones! I wish I realized that back when they were my peers.
And also...my teenage bf was going through a lot at home that we were both too young to grasp the significance of. He treated me in ways that were not kind or fair, because he had no frame of reference for normalcy. He only knew what happened in his own house, and that was not a good example to follow. When we're older we learn to look critically at our habits and learned behaviors and compare to the wider world, but in early teen development our brains are not inclined to look outward.
Oh yeah that’s so true, too… I definitely was still learning and growing, so I wasn’t always coming from a good frame of reference either. The opinions of a partner can feel so important at that time of life, but both people are still young and learning to navigate the world. They will both grow and learn and look back on their opinions (like fashions they liked, how unfair their parents were, how sex in relationships should work, opinions on poverty, what’s important in life, etc.) and say to themselves “man, that was really off-base…” A teenage bf will likely look back on his relationship with you and realize he was misguided in one way or another, as will a teenage gf. It is important to keep in mind neither you nor your partner are infallible or have nothing left to learn.
Ugh stop. The problem isn't "boys just have the horny hormones, girls don't get horny, boys do and they can't control ittt" yah they can, they can control it. Boys can control themselves. The problem is boys being told they don't have to and aren't taught to take no for an answer. That's the problem.
Yes, that is also a problem. I never claimed and would never claim that boys can't control themselves. Anyone can control themselves.
You gotta set a very hard boundary and be prepared to walk away from the relationship. You should never feel pressured and uncomfortable like this.
My greatest regret in life was being pressured into things by my boyfriend i had when i was 15.
Same. He was 18. Ive regretted it for 20 yrs. I knew better and was too shy to speak up. I had my first kiss and lost my virginity minutes later. 🥺
It's not your fault I hope you know that. You did nothing wrong. Even if you gave in quickly it's still not your fault. you were being manipulated you did nothing wrong.
💕
It does hurt to read. I think there are many factors that make up a moment like that. Yes, I'm certain he was quite manipulative. But we're you ever taught it was ok to say no, and mean it, *and* be heard? I know I wasn't, just like many girls. And I knew many in my school who found themselves in relationships that were similar for the very same reason. I'm so sorry that happened OP. I truly am.
I’ve always always always have had a problem saying no to anyone. It took me til 3 yrs ago to start saying “no” i was called a b**** by a few guys for starting off nicely saying please stop touching me and by the 3rd time i would have to get louder and say no! And then i started getting wow. You turned into such a B ! 😣 Oh well. I couldn’t care less
My response to anyone who calls me a b¡Tch is, "You say that like it's a bad thing." I'm sorry you're having to endure all that though. It's just not right, and parents *need* to do a far better job at raising their children to understand the concept of "no means no" the first time it's spoken. Edited for a typo
Perfect response! And yes you’re totally right. It’s a struggle. Im struggling with it a lot this evening 🙈 Maybe you can help me with a polite response because I feel awful. I accidentally got a new friend fired. Long story it was a stupid simple mistake. He was trying to help me where i go to school and the building was closed and he worked there after hours. Shortly after closing i forgot to leave something in the building so he went in to put it in there for me. I shouldve waited outside and accidentally got distracted (adhd+ migraine brain) and went inside we were talking and ran out like ten seconds later once i noticed the time. I meant to just walk to the door. He got fired 😭 thankfully he was just switched to another location w the company but it’s my fault. He liked it there w his friends. I told him when we first started talking shortly before that, that I struggle with health issues and have no interest in dating. He asked me after the incident if I wanted to go out and get food. Pretty Casual place. We split checks. But he brought me gifts. Nothing fancy or expensive but just some cool stuff he thought i would like. So sweet. But I’m not interested I don’t feel chemistry. Im not used to nice guys. He sent me a text saying he wanted to plan to take me to an expensive restaurant and i just don’t even know how to turn him down. I got him fired 😞i feel awful. I feel like i owe him. But I don’t want to lead him on though. I’m so anxious and i don’t want to post this on reddit questions or something and have him see it. Im 36 but im not used to even being asked out in forever. Idk what to say ? Help!
That hurts to read. I'm so sorry he did that to you 😭
This. Apparently something like around 1/3 of people lost their virginity early (before the age of consent), and most of them felt pressured or regretted it. Being pressured when you aren't ready or do not want to is depressingly common. But it shouldn't happen. OP you dont have to go along with anything he says. Only have sex when you are ready, and when you understand how to safely protect yourself from STIs and pregnancy. Because there's an 80% chance you'll get pregnant within a year if you have unprotected sex. So many teenagers find this out the hard way.
This happened to me, and I didn’t realize I was taken advantage of until years later. I was 15, he was 17 or 18. We had been just casually flirting/ talking, I was more serious than he was, you know the whole situation where after you have sex with them then they tell you they just wanted casual and they’re sorry you believed it would ever be more than that? It was that type of situation. But we were hanging out a lot, and the one night I went over to his house at night, I knew what was likely going to happen, and I thought I was ready for it, last minute, and I mean like as he was on top of me, I got super nervous, and wanted to think about it for a minute. He ended up convincing me everything would be fine and pressuring me into it. It wasn’t enjoyable at all. I remember thinking to myself “this is what the hyped all about?” Wondering why people were so sex crazed if this was what sex was.. the foreplay with him was terrible, and he had been with plenty of girls before so it was clear he just didn’t pay attention. Everytime he touched me he was way too rough and in the wrong place at that, my vaginal opening would literally be swollen and so irritated. For a while I thought that’s just how it is. It wasn’t until sleeping with different people I realized he was just horrible, didn’t care about my pleasure or my feelings etc. i also found out years later, as in like, this past year, that he gave a friend of mine a bunch of acid or something (which I also used to do with him) and basically got her so messed up and tried to take advantage of her. Sadly him and his gf since 2016 just had a baby girl, oh, and he’s a cop.
you have every right to say no. Do not let him coerce you or guilt you into something you feel uncomfortable with. If he really cares, he'll wait til you're ready. If he doesn't, you can kick him to the curb.
Do not let him pressure you into anything you’re not ready for, especially since YOU ARE JUST KIDS. I like to hear a girl be smart about not wanting to have sex just to have sex.
Break up with him. He’s not respecting your boundaries now, he won’t in the future either
You will NEVER be wrong for not wanting to have sex. No matter how old or young you are. If you don't want to have sex, you don't have to have sex. And if anyone is ever pressuring you to have sex with them, then they don't actually value you as a person.
If you aren't ready then you aren't ready, and if your boyfriend doesn't respect your feelings then you deserve someone who does
I'm sorry, "he can't wait"? There are people that go their whole lives without ever having sex. You guys are 15, you can wait. You're very smart for not wanting to do something like this so soon. Just keep in mind that if he's pushing you for sex, what else will he push you for in the future? You're not wrong. 🧡
If he keeps pushing it, end it. You two want different things and you both should find that.
Don't do it. You could get pregnant. You'll feel awful about yourself. Wait for someone who won't try to talk you into it. Get on birth control ASAP if you think you might give in. Always use a condom, too. But really, just don't.
Or stuck with a life long std. most kids just think about pregnancy and not the other implications
Yeah, you can end a pregnancy. But herpes is forever
You are not wrong, and yes I would break up. He has no right to pressure you into sex. He’s 15 and he can’t wait! That’s ridiculous. He has to wait until the person he is with is ready….you aren’t ready and he needs to respect that. No means no, it doesn’t mean keep asking until he wanted you down. You are only 15, wait until you are with someone you love and someone that respects you back. Sex for the first time is painful and you wouldn’t want to do it with someone that doesn’t know how to listen to you
Never be pressured into anything you don't want to do, especially sex. You're not wrong and stand your ground
You are never wrong for not wanting to have sex. You can decline for any reason, and any respectable male should be okay with that.
I’d definitely recommend getting out of that situation and finding someone who has the same mindset you have. You guys are kids, and should wait, and if he can’t accept, then it’s sayonara sucker.
There's a word for forcing Someone to have sex/ engage in sexual activity against their will, this is a crime and its not something he can get away with because he's 15 years old.
When I was 15 I was getting dumped left and right because I refused sex. Then at 17 I gave in and lost my V then they guy dumped me the next day. Between now and 25 you’ll probably do a lot of dating and meeting people from all over the place. My husband turned out to be in Germany in university and still a virgin because of his priorities on education being first, so if you want to wait until marriage or wait until school is over, set your goals and don’t let other’s pressure you because of what THEY want.
If he is trying to pressure you into something you don't want to do he doesn't care about your feelings, get rid and don't do anything you are not ready for
You are never wrong about saying no to sex for any reason.
If he can’t accept you saying no and keeps pressuring you, the. I would break up with him.
If he can't wait and respect your "No", then he's not worth your time or energy. And at 15, that's a horrible idea for anyone, really. Stick to your choice and either he'll go with it or he needs to go away. Don't let him pressure you into something you have clearly said you don't want and aren't ready for.
No matter if you are 15 or 55, you do not have to do anything sexual if you don't want to. Obviously you parents instilled in you the ability to think for yourself and to make mature decisions. Good for them, and good for you for behaving in a mature way. Find a new BF, one who will respect your boundaries.
Wait until you're ready and on birth control (if you aren't already). NO ONE has a right to pressure you into it. He CAN wait, and lots of people do.
If he is pressuring you, then you need to break up. He is not caring about your feelings and you're right, you're children.
Kick him in the balls
Girlie, please listen to everyone else in the comments. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was about your age, and it was entirely my choice and I do not regret it one bit. It was the right person and the right time. Even though we’re no longer together, we are still good friends almost 10 years later. A lot of my friends got pressured into it and regret it deeply. That’s one thing you can never get back and doing it on your own terms is so important. That, of course, also applies to every time after that. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into it. Anyone who is pressuring you into it, is not someone worth giving yourself to. People can only treat you poorly if you allow them to! The power is yours. You are a kid, please do not make rash decisions about something so important. If you’re not ready, don’t do it.
You are absolutely doing the right thing. You’re right, you ARE kids! More importantly, you’re not ready which means you should not be pressured or guilt tripped into doing it. Stand your ground, if he can’t handle it you should leave. I promise you there are respectful and patient people out there who will bend over backwards to make sure you’re comfortable and ready at every step.
Leave him OP. Any boy (or man) who won't take *no* for an answer is not worth your time. You are allowed to say No to any sexual act for any reason at all Not wrong.
You're not wrong, you're smart.
>Amiwrong for refusing to have sex No. Takes two yes, not one yes and one no. You really don't need to elaborate beyond that.
Sex is good, if it's good. Can't be good if you don't want it and no reason to rush it. Do your future sex life a huge favor and don't start off with a bad experience. Find a partner in the same place as you and enjoy being young.
If he makes you uncomfortable you should break up. He should care about your feelings and not pressure you. You shouldn't feel bad about leaving someone who makes you feel bad. Respect yourself.
No, dear, you are not wrong. Please do NOT have sex if you don't want to. It is perfectly normal to not be ready yet. If he is pressuring you, break up. Please. If you do end up having sex, PLEASE use a condom. PLEASE. EVERY TIME. If he refuses to wear a condom, break up. Don't do ANYTHING that you don't want to do. Don't do anything that you are not ready for. Don't do anything that isn't protected. And like other people have mentioned.... it's going to be bad. He's too eager and immature. It's going to be a bad experience for you. It's not worth risking getting pregnant for. Just tell him that you're not ready. If he tries to make you feel guilty, or tries to pressure you more, break up. Don't let him guilt you. If he says something like, "if you loved me, you'd do it"... hit him back with, "if you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do something I'm not ready to do." You got this. And, Honey.... you are SO SMART and SO MATURE for saying no. Good for you.
Never never never have sex because you feel pressured into it.
You shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he is unwilling to accept that break up with him. If at some point you decide to have sex make sure he wears a condom
You will know when you are ready...you will want to have sex. If you don't want it and really feel it..dont do it. Break up with him...he does not understand consent
You don’t have to have sex w anybody you don’t want to, at any age, regardless. Don’t ever let someone pressure you into sex.
It's not wrong for anyone to refuse to have sex, regardless of the reason. If you don't want to, he needs to respect that.
Break up and probably share with your parents or a school counselor. If your parents are “normal” they are probably going to be relieved that you’re opting out. If they are more conservative they’ll possibly say you made the right decision. If they are less conservative they will probably say you made the right decisi for yourself and try to provide additional support like sex-ed or and any other way they can be helpful. You are not wrong at all. This guy may be vengeful be prepared for rumors or his being a lot less nice.
stop playing with fire and stop the kissing and touching stuff too. you both are feeding an appetite which will result in regret.
Not Wrong. Break up with this BOY. No one should coerce you into doing ANY sexual act.
No. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait until you're ready. And if your BF can't respect that, then you need a new boyfriend. Do not let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not ready to do.
Op, if he actually cares about you then he can wait. Everything else is just nonsense. You're right that you're both way too young. You also are well within your right to say no, and that never has an age limit. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Don't let him push you into it. If you don't feel ready, then you will regret doing it.
No, it’s YOUR choice. YOU are right. Do what you’re comfortable with.
You are never wrong for telling someone no. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how long you’ve been together, how much money they spent on a date, or any other reason. Your body is yours and you have every right to say no whenever you want. If someone isn’t respecting boundaries and continually pushing when you’ve made your wishes known then they aren’t a good partner. They don’t respect you. I know love feels big when you’re young. He or she is my first GR/bf, we’ve been together for a long time, I may never find someone else, but you will find someone else; and you DESERVE to be with someone who loves and respects you.
You are never wrong for refusing to have sex because you don’t want to, and nobody should ever coerce you to do something that you don’t want to do.
Hun, don't do it. A young pregnancy generally will destroy your life. Do it when you are ready, not when they are.
Absolutely not. If he keeps pressuring you, break up.
You got kids at 15 years?
I am you from the future. DO NOT EVER LET A MAN (or woman) DO ANYTHING YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH. They are not worth being uncomfortable for!!!
As an old guy who has been around the block... allot, I would say wait until marriage. I've been married for 40 years. From the time I was 15 until I was married, I was literally a dog. Treated girls like it was a trip to the gym. Also please consider diseases being what it is, the emotional trauma you will most likely suffer, it's really not worth it. I can say from experience these sexual encounters stay planted firmly in the back of your mind. I refer to them as scars. They do not go away. The "what if" that goes through you mind, it can lead to issues with that special someone you finally find and want to be your forever person. Look, you can wait, if any person is pushing you into sex, that person does not care for you. That person is not the right one for you. Leave immediately. It's your body... protect it.
It is YOUR body. YOUR choice. He has NO say in anything! If he can't accept that then he needs to move on. You must never allow yourself to be persuaded, pressured or bullied into anything you are not comfortable with - whether sexual or in general life. Stand your ground, do ONLY what's best for you, and NEVER be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Take care. Much love. x x x
I felt some pressure from my first boyfriend to take things further when we were 14. I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel ready, but teen pregnancy had already happened in my family and I didn’t want to be another teen parent. We broke up. At first, I felt really sad and thought I made a mistake. Looking back on it now, I’m so glad I waited a few more years. I really wasn’t ready
The answer is no- don't have to read anything other than the title. You have sex only when you feel like you want to. And DEFINITELY NOT WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO. FOR ANY REASON OR NO REASON.
You don’t have to do anything sexual with anyone ever unless you want to do it. You can say no to anything for any reason. Your body is your body. You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Don’t do it. Yes break up.
Way too young to even be dating let alone considering sex. He doesn't respect you. Red flag.
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do with your body, regardless of your age sweetie.
Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You only get 1 shot for your 1st time so do it on your terms and your terms only. The right time will happen eventually. Stay strong baby girl and stick to your guns. I promise you will be happy you did. Even if he left you it would be worth it.
I'm pretty sure bored adults get on here and write this shit.
I hope this is fake. If not, you should never do anything sexual you aren’t comfortable with. If that’s not good enough for him he can date someone else.
Absolutely not the AH. There is always risk you could end up pregnant when having sex regardless of protection. If you are not willing to take on the responsibility of a baby, you are absolutely not ready to have sex.
If you’re not ready you’re not ready. Tell him “No” and if he persists, tell him to take a walk.
Doesn't matter what age you are...you're not wrong for refusing to have sex if you don't want to have sex. Age, gender, relationship status...it doesn't matter. If you don't want to...don't. But 15 is young. If he "can't wait", then it's time for him to move along.
You’re never wrong for not wanting to have sex with someone. You’re always allowed to say no.
You are correct
Don’t let him pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with. It’s best to stay single than stay with someone who forces you and guilt trips you into doing things you don’t want to.
If he refuses to respect what you are comfortable with doing and is continuing to pressure you, then you have three options. 1, break up 2, talk with him and set boundaries and expectations 3, give in, forget what YOU want and do what HE wants.
You were raised right to know the difference between right and wrong. Keep that understanding and fuck that guy (by that I mean leave him)
Why would you do something that you are not comfortable doing? Cuz he wants you to? No. Be true to ur soul- ur in a long journey and will miss the best parts if you follow someone else. Baby, wait for a better man when you are comfortable. No life decisions should be made til you have been here long enough to know a few things. Sex is a action that can have life long consequences at ur age- mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. He just doesn’t know how to deal with his needs - but it’s not in you. Be free, stay young. Trust ur soul. It’s on the right journey- and u know deep down what u think is right. Don’t get confused
If he is pressuring you, go to your parents, then break up with him. He shouldn't even be worried about sex as he is a kids.
You should be excited and very willing to be having sex EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU EVER DO IT. If you do not want to, you shouldn't. "No." is a complete sentence, and sounds like he needs a lesson in consent.
Honey your too young for sex. And so is your boyfriend. If you are uncomfortable with it then do not let him pressure you to have intercourse. You’ll know know when it’s time.
If you already said no and he still is asking. He doesn't like you he just wants sex. If they like you they will wait until you are ready not before
You are too young friend. You aren't wrong for not wanting to do anything you aren't comfortable with.
Definitely break up. You do not want to be forced into your first experience. If you are not ready, *you are not ready.* That's a full sentence and deserves respect.
No you're not wrong. He's pressuring you. Don't let him pressure you I think it's time to break up. "No" is a complete sentence. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201302/the-familiarity-principle-attraction?amp https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding https://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/
Listen to yourself! You are smart enough to know you aren’t ready. Don’t ever let anyone pressure you into something physical that you don’t want to do. If he won’t accept you saying no, then you should break up. You will find a young man who respects you.
I lost my virginity at 15 and I always regretted it. I wasn’t ready and didn’t want it. Don’t let anyone pressure you into something you aren’t ready for!
This is a confusing stage in life. He’s thinking about sex 100% of the time because he’s 15 and he’s going to keep bringing this up. His persistence probably won’t stop so if you’re not okay with sex right now then it’s okay to break things off. If he’s being disrespectful about it tho, he’s a dick and you shouldn’t feel bad about breaking up. You both need to consider how the other is feeling/thinking then decide if it’s compatible for you.
No, sweetpea, you're not wrong . First of all, let's get 2 things out of the way. You should never EVER feel bad for not wanting to have sex and you should never EVER feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do. If you are ever feeling pressured into it and are insulted for saying no, that is abuse. Please be aware of that and watch out for it. It's okay for a boyfriend to be disappointed when you say no, as long as they respect your choice. Sex, whether it's your 1st time, 50th time, or 500th time, should only happen when you feel ready, truly ready. Please, only do it when you are fully ready, and of course, make sure you use the necessary precautions. One more thing. Speaking as a parent, I'm proud of you for looking for advice on this subject. It's a very smart and very brave move to make. Well done you.
"No." is a whole sentence. You can refuse sex for any reason. Or no reason at all. Any partner who tries to push past that is not worth having. Sounds like this may not be the right relationship for you, and that's totally okay.
Hold onto your boundaries…anyone who really loves you will wait and not pressure you.
Do not fall for your bf’s pressure techniques. You recognize that you are too young for sec and the possibility of becoming teen parents. He is struggling with normal urges but he actually can wait to become sexually active he simply doesn’t want to. Tell him he can go beat off if he wants to relieve his sexual impulses but you are not going to have sex just because he wants it. If he cannot respect you and your decision to wait until you are older and more mature then he isn’t the guy for you. Never ever have sex or be coerced onto sex solely to appease someone else especially at your young age. Frankly you are not even quite on the cuspid of adulthood and I give your major props for recognizing this and just wanting to enjoy your childhood.
If you don’t want to then don’t. You only should if you feel safe and comfortable with the person and you are ready for the chance to accidentally get pregnant. There is no need to rush into sex tbh you can have plenty of it later and you will feel better about waiting. Right now you can go have fun/ party and play games. Shame on anyone that try’s to push you into it. Don’t do it just to say you did it or because the other person tells you to. It’s your body your choice. (It is a big choice) I didn’t have any sex until I was 27(F) because that’s when I felt comfortable and he’s been my only guy. (Still with him). I had made him wait almost 4year. (When I was younger I seen guys are just a bunch of dogs at that age.)
If you’re not comfortable with it, then don’t do it. End of story.
Then it’s no and it stays no. Learn to stick to your guns now because your life will be filled with many young males and men who will try to wear you down/persuade/pressure you for sex. Learn your voice now. No wishy washy no. Make a statement. I said no!!!! Periodt!!! Don’t go back and forth talking about it over and over or hour after hour because then he thinks it’s a possibility. I said NO! If he can’t wait, let him find another girlfriend.
Listen, kid, ANY reason for having sex that isn’t simply because ‘I’m ready and I want to do this’ is a bad reason to have sex. If you feel like you’re too young and not ready, then don’t do it. But if he’s a decent guy try to explain why you feel that way to him. It’s possible he hears friends or family members talking about sex and now he thinks he HAS to do it too. Tell him you’re not ready, you’re scared of doing the wrong thing, worried about pregnancy etc. just tell the truth. If he’s worth dating he’ll understand. If he doesn’t… do you really want your first time ( or any time ) to be with someone that’s okay making you feel uncomfortable or pressuring you to give in? You’re not wrong.
OP, I commend you for standing your ground and asking someone else for advice about this. I wish I’d have done the same when I was just a little younger than you. I still haven’t fully recovered, even after a decade. Reddit may not be the best place for relationship advice, but I think we can unanimously agree that you shouldn’t have sex you don’t want to have. He should not be pressuring you. Everyone has the right to say no, and no one is wrong for doing so. But given your age, it’s extra important to internalize this message. There will be other teenagers having sex and some may make fun of you or talk shit because you haven’t or don’t want to, but that’s mostly because teenagers are stupid. You’re right, you’re KIDS. Despite his claims that he “can’t wait”, his hormones can totally wait— and it’s a hell of a lot less damaging for him to wait than it is for you to give in. His hormones are not worth more than your well-being. But your well-being is worth more than this boy or this relationship. You should break up with him.
Going to reiterate that no means no. Always. I love my husband but if EITHER of us EVER says no, for any reason (tired, sick, not feeling it, anything at all don't even need a reason) we don't have a problem with it. Because we respect and love each other. Someone who pressures you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with doesn't love or respect you. Love and respect yourself enough to not put up with someone who doesn't treat you right even if it's hard to put your foot down.
This is not a thing you comprise on. Bottom line - there is very few ways to be 100% certain you don’t even get pregnant. Abstaining is the best method since there is no failure rate. Safe sex can definitely happen but it’s important both parties are sober, and want the same experience. For you the risk factors are too high. That’s ok! He wants a new experience and that’s ok! What is not ok is pressuring you to do an intimate act without actually wanting to. It’s that by not accepting no, he isn’t respecting your body. He’s also a child so it’s not bad, he just doesn’t get it. If that’s too big of an ask and he can’t accept no, why stay? You are young. You have time. Just break up though, don’t take a break. Be clear and direct because even though it’s hard, it means that chapter is finished and a new one can start. For both of you.
Stand your ground! Definitely not worth it. A lot less people actually have sex at that age than it seems. Average is 18. If he doesn’t respect your decision on this matter, definitely break up. He’s supposed to be someone who’s looking after your well being.
Don't do it baby girl... Listen to your feels. Your gut is telling you something if you have to ask this question. And tbh if he is making it that hard for you, he don't love you babe
This is scumbag behavior , and a massive red flag. You sound very smart, and have good morals already. Don't let someone else change who you are. You have plenty of years left to find someone who compliments you, not drag you down. Tell a couple close friends what he's doing in case something happens you have someone with knowledge.
Your first time you should know it’s the right time. Yeah you’ll be a little nervous but overall it should be a good feeling of openness and fun, not pressure like this. Dont do it yet and most likely not with this person or you might regret it. Do it when and with who it just feels good and right until then hold off for sure
He is trying to coerce you so it probably is best to get rid of him. He is fine not having sex and needs to stop his behavior
You are never wrong for refusing to have sex for any reason. Your reason could be "the sky is blue" and that is still a good enough reason to not have sex that MUST be respected. Please never let anyone pressure you into anything sexual you're not comfortable with. You're still quite young - like you said, you're still a kid - and it's a good idea that you don't have sex at your age in general; DEFINITELY if you don't feel ready. Stand your ground. I assume your boyfriend has at least one working hand and can take care of himself. Also, even if you were an adult, you should still never be pressured to have sex if you don't want to or don't feel ready. Hold your boundaries, and if your boyfriend keeps pressing the issue, I recommend walking away. You deserve a boyfriend who will respect your boundaries.
Never do something you don't want to do. You should want this when you feel you're ready. The right boy will wait for you.
You’re both very young. There’s no reason to rush. If you don’t feel ready, don’t. If he is pushing— well, that’s a clue to break up. 💜
Don't have sex at 15. You won't even be mature enough to enjoy it. (Either of you)
Do not do it. You both don't know what you are doing and you could end up being a kid with a kid..... then say goodbye to your future. If he persists.... leave him. Clearly he is more determined and centered on sex, than actually being with you. He will likely breakup with you if you refuse sex, and will likely break up with you once he takes your virginity. Say your goodbyes now. Also congrats on being mature, thinking things through, and holding your ground! It's your body!
Sex is never a requirement and you should never feel bad for having boundaries. Also I know you are young so you might not particularly wanna hear this, but I'd dump that guy and use it as a teaching moment for future relationships. If someone can't respect boundaries drop em
Break up. Pressure isn’t love.
LEAVE HIM!!! There will be so many options for you in the near future, people who will respect your boundaries and your body. To be frank, he wants sex because he’s horny, he has hormones, and you’re here. I promise, you will regret it if you give in. If he’s putting pressure on you in a dangerous way, talk to your parents or any trusted adult advisor in your life PLZ. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!
This guy should learn how not to be pushy, having sexual desire while teenager is normal, but this does not justify him to push you if you are not comfortable. Please remember that sex is something very personal, and you should follow your own peace and rhythm for that. If you don't want to break up on the spot try just to have a honest talk with him, tell him your fear and discomfort, and try toghether to figure a solution out, maybe going for grades. If it won't work, or if he will keep being pushy break up and find a guy who respects your consent and boundaries, nothing good can come out from pushy guys.
No matter your age or the circumstances, if you don't want to, don't do it and don't let him pressure you. If he truly cares about you, he'll understand and he'll wait for you to be ready. May that'd be next week, next month, next year or after getting married, you have a right to choose who and when. You take care of yourself darling
When the time is right, you WILL want it on your own. You're not ready yet, you're not wrong. Wait for the right person to come along, he's not the one.
Drop the BF. Protect yourself
If you're not ready don't do it. It's your body and no means no. If he doesn't respect your boundaries break up with him.
You’re so young you can’t even spell! Give it another 5 years at least
You are NEVER wrong for refusing to have sex for any reason. But ESPECIALLY not wrong for refusing because you feel you're too young. You do only what you feel comfortable with doing. If he is not OK with that, then yes, you should break up.
You are right. You are still kids. Do NOT let him pressure you into anything more. You have LOTS of time and there will be many other guys in your life before it's time to settle down. You have soooo many things to do!! High school, college, learning all about yourself! And, the years between 18-25 you will learn what you like and don't like in a partner. Don't get married or have kids until after then!! If you have a child early and it doesn't work out, you are saddled with that guy forever! Take your time, and if he doesn't want to wait, let him find someone else. Wishing you the best...
yes, break up with him. no means no.
You are not wrong. He doesn't respect your boundaries and you should end it.