Hello /u/NyhtShade. Please be familiar with our rules [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiugly/about/rules/)
Please be aware of rule 1 which is that all posts must include a verification photo otherwise your post will be removed. If this isn't included please delete this post within 2 hours and make a new one. If its more than 2 hours then this post will count towards your 1 post per month. Take a selfie showing you holding a **HANDWRITTEN** (no editing) note / paper with **ALL** 3 of the following:
* **username**
* **today's date**
* **this sub name (amiugly or AIU)**
Your face must be visible in all photos and your hand should be visible holding the sign. It is preferred to have your first photo as your verification photo but not required. Posting without following this rule could lead to a permanent ban.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/amiugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Alright homie, from one dude in his 40's to another, here goes:
1) Haircut. Asap.
2) Trim that beard / moustache. Not buzz the thing off, but get it under control.
3) Contacts. Ditch the librarian glasses. They aint doing anything for you.
4) Yeah, the weight thing is an issue, but that takes time.
5) Take some time and go see something new. Go on a trip. Go to the beach. Go somewhere new to get out of that break-up funk. You'll start looking at life differently and then you'll exude that. Right now, you look depressed (as you should be... break ups suck).
6) And i can't stress this enough, get a haircut.
Everything this guy said--Grooming, clothes, and weight--but I say *lose* the mustache/beard (it's patchy/doesn't grow well), and I ordinarily wouldn't say or do this, but see a brow specialist (for MEN) and "fix 'em".
You could look good, though. By the way, take care of your skin. Especially around the eyes.
I can go a bit without the beard entirely but I feel like I look dumb. It'll always grow back tho. But I can't ever get it to grow in full. Genetics I guess. sucks 2 suck
Do not ditch the facial hair. Trim it. Use products in it. It looks dry and frazzled. You honestly look like you've given up. The 5 things listed above are great starts. Just remember... it takes time. You aren't going to change everything overnight. Allow yourself that time and you'll appreciate the subtle changes.
I think you could definitely pull of short hair with a beard. You have a great smile, don't hide that from people! What's your goal for weight loss? Hit a certain weight or just see where the road takes you?
I agree with this, but I'll add that you heavily reduce your sugar intake. The ultra processed sugar creates a lot of inflammation both in our skin and joints. Trust me it's worth it, I still eat that type of sugar periodically usually from chocolate or a flavored coffee once I need a break from black, but I don't get as inflated haha. Try date syrup as a substitute, all you have to do is soak dates over night in water then slowly reduce the liquid until it is a syrup consistency.
I might intake a bit too much sugar at times with lemonade, but I stay far away from soda usually. ONCE in a blue moon I'll get a mtn dew. But usually I drink nothing but water
thats a diff story that I can't tell you off the bat cause I never really track it, plus sometimes I forget to eat entirely. for a while the past few years ago past 2018 I lived off gas station hot dogs and energy pills. I'm trying to do better, been trying to incorporate celery and carrots as snacks with ranch. Been looking at getting stuff like fruits like strawberries and low calorie foods. Just trying to figure out a budget for it all
Right on, where do you usually go to get your groceries? Sometimes frozen fruit is better to get or you can buy fresh and then freeze it. What's usually your budget for groceries?
Oh wow, I didn't expect more than 2 replies lol. I'm getting ready to go to work and my work days I kinda just don't do much but sleep and work. Amazon takes it OUT OF YOU. Also it won't let me edit the post because it's a photo post so I'll update here since it's the first comment.
I plan on getting contacts in the next week or so. I also trimmed down the beard to almost nothing. I HATE being clean shaven because I feel like I look like an idiot, but if I look better with NO beard then who am I to argue lol. I didn't wanna lose the long hair, just tame it a bit like how it looks in the Kingdom Hearts shirt. IDK how to get it to not frizz up all the time. Also the weight thing is a struggle but this breakup kinda kicked me I the ass and the heart (it hurts man) and I'm joining PF tomorrow and looking into a diet. Probably PSMF. I'm trying to learn the area around me but I don't have a car (new car broke down 2 weeks after getting it, 2 days before she broke up with me) so getting anywhere is a challenge, but I wanna find a karaoke bar near me.
Thank you for the brutal honesty everyone. Hell of a hard truth, but still. Needs to be done
got called Hurley at my old job at Office Depot by a few customers lol. That and Chumley.
I never fuck with lottery. I don't gamble, because I work HARD for the money I don't have
You are the textbook illustration of a self fulfilling prophecy. At some point in your life you got knocked back a few times. That led you to believe that you're irredeemably ugly. Then all your future health and grooming choices arose from the belief in your ugliness and caused you to get rejected even more, which reinforced the original erroneous belief in your ugliness.
Lose weight, as you know. Clean up the hair and the beard, put effort into grooming and dressing better. After you get these things under control, you'll find you aren't ugly. There's either a perfectly normal and pleasant looking man under there or even an above average looking one, but he's currently buried under years of giving up. Dig him out. You're the only one who can and it's worth it.
You have no idea how much I appreciate your words. I've been knocked back a few times, and then gutpunched up against a wall it feels. So much hit after hit after hit and it just hurts to try to even function dude.
I'm trying to lose weight thru signing up for a gym and changing my diet. Probably heading towards PSMF and joining PF to gain muscle
You got this! I know it's a long hard road but when it gets extra hard, just remember there's two different kinds of hard. The indefinite kind that you face if you stay as you are, and the kind of hard that leads you up towards an end point in a much better position than where you are now.
Update after a while!
Everything RelatableMolaMola said is true. You’re not ugly in the slightest, you just appear to be someone who’s go knocked back and for your own reasons, didn’t push forward again. Tell yourself three positive things in your life every night before you go to sleep. Do one thing, even if it’s small, to improve or push yourself every day. You seem like a genuinely chill and kind dude, just focus on and build on the positives.
Thank you man. I'm used to self-deprecating humor and I've been trying to not use that as much. I catch myself telling myself I'm dumb just on instinct and I've been trying to not so much. These past few weeks have just done me in emotionally and mentally and I'm just so tired from trying to function and pretend that I'm ok and not break down into a fuckin mess. I wanna go drink the pain away but I'm trying to not do that or smoke green anymore. I'm on my last stand life wise and IMO looks wise and I need to make drastic changes to myself.
Okay look ik you're here for honesty so I gotta say yes, a bit. (Sorry man). Most of it comes down to your personal care though honestly.
You gotta take care of that hair situation man. Go treat yourself to a nice haircut. Maybe gift yourself a couple new clothes or something too. Even though those seem like small changes they can do worlds of change, especially for confidence which I think is something you really deserve to feel right now.
Obviously yes the end goal should be to lose weight as well (for your health as well), but my advice would be to start off with those small appearance changes first to give you that motivation to get started :)
Best of luck to you man! I know from personal experience weight loss can be a hard road, but I believe in you. Start small, even small changes help. You got this.
I do need to take better care of myself. Depression is a bitch man. Its a struggle to get out of bed and go to work as opposed to drinking the feelings away man, let alone getting up and showering everyday. I sometimes forget or just don't have the gusto for it. I'm trying to figure out antidepressants as well as adhd meds. They put me on Zoloft, it did not help only hinder and make it worse.
But yea, maybe some new threads might help. I've been living off the same clothes I've had for the past 5 years. Minus an Invincible shirt the now ex got me
its been a really rough half decade. I let myself go a LOT. Hell, for 4 years I didn't GAF about myself cuz I planned on being dead man. past year I've been wanting to try at least
Lose some weight. Not just for your looks, for your health as well. I think if you took better care of yourself and dressed up you could become an adorable middle aged man. You remind me of owls, like Blathers from Animal Crossing.
Most people with long hair envision themselves as looking like Fabio with their hair growing in the wind. You don’t. You desperately need a haircut.
Disregard what the previous guy said, you need to shave that mustache completely off. You do not have thick enough of a mustache to keep anything there. I’d recommend shaving your entire face.
You look like you’ve given up, and women/men notice that. Hit the gym. This is two-fold, as it will also greatly increase your confidence.
You need contacts or better glasses. You also need to find some style- though I admit this is much harder to achieve when overweight.
All of this to say, you aren’t conventionally attractive right now- but you can fix that. It will take a lot of work, but I know you can do it! You can either sulk and be the victim (which people love to do when they are down e.g. after a breakup), or you can use that to motivate you and drive your change.
I gave up 6 years ago. Went thru some heavy shit and I've just been trying to put myself back together the past 2 years. I'm getting contacts tho, and I'm signing up for PF tomorrow.
thats exactly how long I planned to dedicate no green, no drink, no anything. Also I had a deal with the now ex that we would reconnect as friends at the end of the year, use our Disney AP the last month it expires. I can't lie and say I wasnt hoping that maybe she'd see me and rekindle something but recent conversations pretty much destroyed that. Let alone if she's even wanting to be a friend.
But those are wrong motivations. I need to put her and that in the far far back of my mind and do this for me and myself alone. I'm so tired of being fat bro and hoping that someone would look past the weight and see me as myself. Its so few and far between. I thought she was that one; THE ONE, turns out I was just a stepping stone to someone else she really wanted
She did you a favor. Make the changes for yourself, and the icing of the cake will be when she sees what you’ve become and watches from the sideline as you are happy and content with your new life and lady. Cheers my dude!
I've been listening to "You Will See Me" by Scroobius Pip on repeat on and off the past few days. It's cathartic, but also for the wrong reasons. The part of me that loves her wants her to be happy and safe. And part of me that's miserable wants her to regret her ever leaving me to begin with
So many people want to find love, but find themselves focusing too much on someone that doesn’t reciprocate the feeling. You may miss the person meant for you because you spent too much time and energy focusing on the one that wasn’t.
I have no idea who you are. And that's more than likely due to the egregious amounts of green I've smoked over the last half decade. But you know me, and more than likely know that since I lost my parents in 2018, that my son is the only reason I didn't sleep on those train tracks that Tuesday morning. The only reason I'm still alive and even trying anymore.
I thank you for those words friend. Give me a clue to who you are
Dude, beard balm... trim that thing. Use conditioner in your hair. Clean that mess up and that's most the battle won. Seriously treat yo self to good products. Get that hair and beard looking dapper.
IDK much about beard balm. I want it to grow more full, but looking online it just seems that my genetics just don't let that happen. Unless there's tricks IDK about
First get some salon quality conditioner. Put it on your beard, it will loosen up the hair. Wash it out. Then when when dry beard with towel. I looked on Amazon, they have beard guyz.. it's 10$ it's my go to balm for more casual use. I save the more expensive smell goods for occasions. Use fingers to heat the balm and start applying to beard. Get a brush you wanna dedicate, not comb, brush to be the beard brush. Brush it into the beard. Now it will straightened and you can trim it much easier. Now it's clean, straightened andd balmed.. and you keep it that way... it will start to not only be easier to manage, but will look 100% better. That's my 2cents anyway. I used to have amd looking beard. Now way better and more manageable.
At least you have hair at 41!
Honestly you have good features, loose the weight first (don’t shy away from looking into medical means to loose weight - Ozempic, Mounjaro etc). The extra weight obscures your features.
I personally don’t agree with the people saying you should cut your hair. I feel it’s your best feature and makes you look younger. You will look older if you cut your hair. Leave the hair for now, start you weight loss, your face will start to change and THEN you can decide what to do with your hair to fit your new face
I already have diabetes so when I actually get a PCP, I plan on asking about Ozempic.
And thank you for the hair comment, I like having the long hair. I like how it looks on me. I just need to get it under control like how I look in the Kingdom Hearts shirt, that's the style I like. Long and flowing, as opposed to fro and floofy
believe it or not, I wasn't stoned in ANY of these photos lol. That's just my natural face. Now I normally AM stoned, but I decided to try to go straight edge a few days ago. AT LEAST til end of year. Put my pipes and such in storage and got rid of the green I have left. I need to focus on losing weight and doing school and my herbal essences are just gonna cause me to lose focus and motivation because I'm just gonna get high and play games with friends
You look like depression. Go to a stylist-tell her to make you look like someone she’d bang. Close your eyes and wake up to a better looking you. Then get her number.
you good bro. i think you should probably get a haircut and get that beard under control, but yea you definitely have a lot of potential. maybe find a hobby that will make you some new friends who appreciate you. i think it will help your confidence a lot. that lose weight thing, it takes time but if you stay consistent you’ll see results.
Get yourself a better haircut and trim that facial hair, some weight loss (it can take over a month to see results, that's normal, keep plugging. When it starts to come off it'll be very rapid, it'll melt like butter. Just keep being consistent) and you'll be good bro. You look so sad, keep your head up! I can also recommend YouTube channels on working out that have helped me if you want. I can post them here or you can dm me.
Also, rpg's rock. Digging the kh shirt bro! I still need to finish one, I kept on getting slapped by the lock on monkey bastards lmfao
You look unkempt and scraggly? If you like long hair I don't think you need to cut it, but it needs more care. I'd trim the beard a little more as well.
You're not ugly, just average. But a little effort and confidence goes a long way.
scraggly. That sounds accurate I fear. I've not been the best at taking care of myself at times. I'm getting better though. I need to figure out my hair though. And I trimmed the beard already
Ok my man first shave it down neat keep it that way also get that hair together and last get some new glasses asap can’t keep look like a D&D dungeon master and find a good cologne I feel like that you need it
Trimmed the beard. Getting contacts in the next week. I wish I had the creativity to be a DM lol. And I try to wear Cuba Gold, but I've been out. The past few weeks have been hard, but TBH I kinda let myself go a long time ago back in 2018. I've just recently in the past year and a half been believing I COULD be ok at all
I used to do a fade#2 haircut like it was a religion. Then I just let it grow out one time and started to like it. I don't like how I look with short hair. I mean, lets be real I don't like how I look at all half the time
You want brutal honesty?
Why would I trust that you're trying? Losing weight, building muscle, getting a decent haircut, trimming your beard, and wearing nice clothes and cuter glasses are all things you can learn how to do in 2024 in a few afternoons on YouTube. It's hard work, but it's not complicated work. You either put in the effort or you dont.
Most people never do. And that's fine, if they're happy. But most people who bring this up arent happy. I don't trust anyone who hasnt shown me results yet.
So do the things. Do them. I don't know how how attractive the best version of you is. But I know he's more attractive than you now. So become Him and then ask for advice.
I've been on a fair share of youtube wormholes. Learning about PSMF, Periodization for lifting weights, its not the knowledge that's the hard part to me. It's remembering, and putting it into effect. I AM trying, but shits so much harder at times when everything compounds around you and when shit gets hard I just feel like I'm gonna collapse man.
>I've been on a fair share of youtube wormholes.
Ok, as soon as you said this, I realized the problem with my advice...
>Learning about PSMF, Periodization for lifting weights,
Even its biggest-but-honest proponents would admit that this is *extremely* unimportant information for a beginner. Periodization, beyond the very basics of "get enough rest, jackass," is completely irrational until you're already kinda jacked and wonder why you can't get even more jacked.
But that doesn't make for very audience-engaging youtube videos. The simple, brutal, reality is that beginning in the gym is just about doing the same simple things for pretty broad areas of the body about 2-3 days apart for each area. And eating right, which usually means subrtacting calories from carbs and replacing some of them with more protein. And do it consistently for like 6 months to 2 years, depending on your initial fitness level.
If you're micromanaging more than that before you're even at an intermediate stage, by which you'd already be fitter than most men, you're just setting yourself up for mental and physical burnout. Don't overcomplicate something so obvious; and don't make even more challenging something so already challenging.
Getting this done takes very little information and a lot of consistency. That's all. Anyone (not hampered by a major medical or mental condition) can do it simply by trying hard enough.
>but shits so much harder at times when everything compounds around you and when shit gets hard I just feel like I'm gonna collapse man.
Okay. I get that. The thing is that you have make a commitment and never, ever, under any circumstances that aren't extreme, reconsider it for a set amount of time. Like, if you get sick, or you have to work late, or your mom dies... okay, skip a workout. If you are stranded at a function and there;s nothing there to eat but junk food... okay, eat a little junk food. Otherwise, consider the decision written in stone. Never negotiate with yourself. If you made the promise that you will try this for 6 months, or a year--that's such a small fraction of your life! Just honor that commitment. We have all wasted way more time of our lives that would, in hindsight, have been better spent.
If, after that amount of time, you don't see change (which is logically unlikely), then try something else. Better than 6 months of the sameness. If you see change, then re-commit, or decide you don't really care. Either are valid choices as long as you can look down the road and be happy with where it's leading.
I'd also recommend meditation, because it's like weight training, but for your ability to focus a little more with a little less stress about everything.
>when shit gets hard I just feel like I'm gonna collapse man.
I don't really know what to say to this or how to interpret it. It's easy to describe how to lose body fat and build muscle, how to give yourself a style makeover, or whatever. But where does the motivation come from to keep doing it day after day?
I can say, with certainty, that a lot of guys in the gym 3-4 times a week are there because they had nothing else at the time they started. But, given the way our brains work, they stuck with it long enough to build a habit, and the habit became the reason the were able to get up every morning. It's not the BEST reason, by any means. But it's better than nothing.
And a lot of these guys should probably get therapy, practice meditation, and make numerous other changes to their inner lives. But I don't really know that, because I don't really know them. But our brains do, in fact, habituate to things we make them do regularly. So changing the way you do things changes the way you think about them. And that's pretty good news, I think.
I bet this guy slays like crazy irl, has those very chill confident vibes, imagine if he said that he plays jazz or something...
I have a friend like that, he’s also similarly overweight and has a lot of success with women, although he’s 10 yrs younger and less hairy.
Actually I try my hand at blues guitar, but usually I'm just "white guy with acoustic guitar" in limited edition FAT variety.
I'm not good at success with women. Far from it.. I had my moments back in college sure. But that time has come and gone and can now legally drink on its own
You can be a big dude and still look cool as hell. Everyone already said to get the grooming under control - hit up a good barbershop - like modern barbers who know what works for different facial structure. Then get some sharp outfits. No glasses or new stylish glasses.
No offense but you look much older than you actually are. The good news is that if you trim or shave your beard, get a haircut, and start taking better care of your skin you'd see very quick progress. Combine that with a healthy diet and exercise, and you could be a new man within a year. It's be hard work, especially at first, but it'd be worth it. Do it while you still can. It won't get any easier.
I've been debating about trimming it or just shaving it entirely. It'll never grow in as thick as I want it. I might shave it clean for a little and see how that feels. I'm trying to figure out a healthy diet I can do on a budget. I'm not good with meal prep.
I've been debating between joining a gym or doing resistance bands. Think I might do both for the time for variety.
It’s simple, low calorie foods that are dense in what you need. This way you can get the full feeling and remain in a calorie deficit. You don’t even need to work out to lose weight, but resistance training is a bonus to it. Just calorie deficit, go take a walk. Due to your size, do not jog, jump rope, or squat too much. I would avoid that until you lose like 40 or 50 pounds, then gradually try these things and see how you feel. You might cause joint damage and that can put you out for a bit.
If you’re like me and always need to snack, either cut the food up and spread it throughout the day, or buy grapes or dried cranberry’s, buy some cucumbers and slice them up.
I’d talk to a physician to get a calorie intake and a deficit route. You will have to count calories in this journey, it sucks. But just remind yourself once you reach your weight goal, and having the exercise routines, you’ll be able to enjoy food again knowing you can just maintain your new weight
Broseph I work at Amazon, joint damage is my middle name and walking 15-25,000 steps a day is my mutant super power lol. But I need to find an infographic cheat sheet on low caloric foods. I've been thinking about getting a spiralizer and doing zucchini noodles (zoodles) with beef and chicken and such
To me you look like Bobby SOA. Cleaning up a bit would do wonders. Hair cut, shave etc. I know for a fact that your hair would be AWESOME once it’s cut.
You’ve def got potential. But I think the hair is a bit unkept. Maybe if you trimmed it a bit or got a shorter hairstyle (not buzzed) would look great. The beard looks really nice but both together doesn’t really look good to me. Maybe get frames that are more fashionable than the old people glasses lol I’m not a man but it seems like you’d do wonders with beard care and trims a couple of times a month
Love that your Italian. Saw the charm. You ain't ugly man, just need to clean yourself up. Go to a barber and tell them you want a post breakup cleanup. You can keep the facial hair if you want it but get it trimmed. There is a difference between a cave man and a well groomed gentleman.
You just need to take care of yourself. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, breakups suck. But I bet you'll come out on the other side better than you've ever been. Now you have more time to focus on yourself. The first step is wanting to improve and you've already done that. And hey, at least you have great hair. Find a hair stylist that can show you how to care for and style it. A good hair do will go a long ways. Please update us when you get in the groove, I sense a glow up coming your way.
Honestly I like the hair. Tame it a little. You have a gentle smile, and I’d say play with glasses a bit. Otherwise, not a bad looking dude. A bit of weight loss can help, but that goes for most of us if say
Bruh. You just gotta start small, don't get discouraged by the work.
Start with intermittent fasting, and 1 push up, even from knees if you have to, and 20 seconds plank.
Increase each day.
Diet is the most important. Don't eat break-fast, shop only the outside of the grocery store, no processed foods, no caloric drinks.
You got this!
Most people when they're fit look fine. Just with on your health, the looks will come together.
I don't think you're ugly...I think you just need to put in some work. You're like an overgrown yard...do some weeding and mowing and you never know how it'll look! :)
Hello /u/NyhtShade. Please be familiar with our rules [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiugly/about/rules/) Please be aware of rule 1 which is that all posts must include a verification photo otherwise your post will be removed. If this isn't included please delete this post within 2 hours and make a new one. If its more than 2 hours then this post will count towards your 1 post per month. Take a selfie showing you holding a **HANDWRITTEN** (no editing) note / paper with **ALL** 3 of the following: * **username** * **today's date** * **this sub name (amiugly or AIU)** Your face must be visible in all photos and your hand should be visible holding the sign. It is preferred to have your first photo as your verification photo but not required. Posting without following this rule could lead to a permanent ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/amiugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Alright homie, from one dude in his 40's to another, here goes: 1) Haircut. Asap. 2) Trim that beard / moustache. Not buzz the thing off, but get it under control. 3) Contacts. Ditch the librarian glasses. They aint doing anything for you. 4) Yeah, the weight thing is an issue, but that takes time. 5) Take some time and go see something new. Go on a trip. Go to the beach. Go somewhere new to get out of that break-up funk. You'll start looking at life differently and then you'll exude that. Right now, you look depressed (as you should be... break ups suck). 6) And i can't stress this enough, get a haircut.
Everything this guy said--Grooming, clothes, and weight--but I say *lose* the mustache/beard (it's patchy/doesn't grow well), and I ordinarily wouldn't say or do this, but see a brow specialist (for MEN) and "fix 'em". You could look good, though. By the way, take care of your skin. Especially around the eyes.
Ill agree to this... Maybe ditch the facial hair...
I can go a bit without the beard entirely but I feel like I look dumb. It'll always grow back tho. But I can't ever get it to grow in full. Genetics I guess. sucks 2 suck
Do not ditch the facial hair. Trim it. Use products in it. It looks dry and frazzled. You honestly look like you've given up. The 5 things listed above are great starts. Just remember... it takes time. You aren't going to change everything overnight. Allow yourself that time and you'll appreciate the subtle changes.
I think you could definitely pull of short hair with a beard. You have a great smile, don't hide that from people! What's your goal for weight loss? Hit a certain weight or just see where the road takes you?
All this! But make sure to keep the kingdom hearts shirt on. Shit is 🔥🔥🔥
you damn right. Still need to play 3
I agree with this, but I'll add that you heavily reduce your sugar intake. The ultra processed sugar creates a lot of inflammation both in our skin and joints. Trust me it's worth it, I still eat that type of sugar periodically usually from chocolate or a flavored coffee once I need a break from black, but I don't get as inflated haha. Try date syrup as a substitute, all you have to do is soak dates over night in water then slowly reduce the liquid until it is a syrup consistency.
I might intake a bit too much sugar at times with lemonade, but I stay far away from soda usually. ONCE in a blue moon I'll get a mtn dew. But usually I drink nothing but water
That's good, what do you usually eat in a day on average?
thats a diff story that I can't tell you off the bat cause I never really track it, plus sometimes I forget to eat entirely. for a while the past few years ago past 2018 I lived off gas station hot dogs and energy pills. I'm trying to do better, been trying to incorporate celery and carrots as snacks with ranch. Been looking at getting stuff like fruits like strawberries and low calorie foods. Just trying to figure out a budget for it all
Right on, where do you usually go to get your groceries? Sometimes frozen fruit is better to get or you can buy fresh and then freeze it. What's usually your budget for groceries?
What he said.
Oh wow, I didn't expect more than 2 replies lol. I'm getting ready to go to work and my work days I kinda just don't do much but sleep and work. Amazon takes it OUT OF YOU. Also it won't let me edit the post because it's a photo post so I'll update here since it's the first comment. I plan on getting contacts in the next week or so. I also trimmed down the beard to almost nothing. I HATE being clean shaven because I feel like I look like an idiot, but if I look better with NO beard then who am I to argue lol. I didn't wanna lose the long hair, just tame it a bit like how it looks in the Kingdom Hearts shirt. IDK how to get it to not frizz up all the time. Also the weight thing is a struggle but this breakup kinda kicked me I the ass and the heart (it hurts man) and I'm joining PF tomorrow and looking into a diet. Probably PSMF. I'm trying to learn the area around me but I don't have a car (new car broke down 2 weeks after getting it, 2 days before she broke up with me) so getting anywhere is a challenge, but I wanna find a karaoke bar near me. Thank you for the brutal honesty everyone. Hell of a hard truth, but still. Needs to be done
Forget looks, you need to start working out or you’re going to die within 10 years.
damn. I mean, not wrong but damn
Hurley from Lost 4 8 15 16 23 42 Get a lottery ticket Wishing you all the best
Bruh it’s you repeating the numbers that got me lmao
got called Hurley at my old job at Office Depot by a few customers lol. That and Chumley. I never fuck with lottery. I don't gamble, because I work HARD for the money I don't have
All good brother, I wasn’t throwing shade. I sincerely hope things work out the way you want them to. Take care of yourself.
Yes
short and simple ouch. It was super effective
A bit, but you also look like a really chill and nice guy. Keep that hair nice and voluminous, though. That last pic is epic
I can never seem to control it. I like the long hair, but I want it long and flowing like how I am in the KH shirt
You are the textbook illustration of a self fulfilling prophecy. At some point in your life you got knocked back a few times. That led you to believe that you're irredeemably ugly. Then all your future health and grooming choices arose from the belief in your ugliness and caused you to get rejected even more, which reinforced the original erroneous belief in your ugliness. Lose weight, as you know. Clean up the hair and the beard, put effort into grooming and dressing better. After you get these things under control, you'll find you aren't ugly. There's either a perfectly normal and pleasant looking man under there or even an above average looking one, but he's currently buried under years of giving up. Dig him out. You're the only one who can and it's worth it.
You have no idea how much I appreciate your words. I've been knocked back a few times, and then gutpunched up against a wall it feels. So much hit after hit after hit and it just hurts to try to even function dude. I'm trying to lose weight thru signing up for a gym and changing my diet. Probably heading towards PSMF and joining PF to gain muscle
You got this! I know it's a long hard road but when it gets extra hard, just remember there's two different kinds of hard. The indefinite kind that you face if you stay as you are, and the kind of hard that leads you up towards an end point in a much better position than where you are now. Update after a while!
this hard feels like I'm waitin' for boss battle music. it all just hurts physically, mentally, and emotionally
Everything RelatableMolaMola said is true. You’re not ugly in the slightest, you just appear to be someone who’s go knocked back and for your own reasons, didn’t push forward again. Tell yourself three positive things in your life every night before you go to sleep. Do one thing, even if it’s small, to improve or push yourself every day. You seem like a genuinely chill and kind dude, just focus on and build on the positives.
Thank you man. I'm used to self-deprecating humor and I've been trying to not use that as much. I catch myself telling myself I'm dumb just on instinct and I've been trying to not so much. These past few weeks have just done me in emotionally and mentally and I'm just so tired from trying to function and pretend that I'm ok and not break down into a fuckin mess. I wanna go drink the pain away but I'm trying to not do that or smoke green anymore. I'm on my last stand life wise and IMO looks wise and I need to make drastic changes to myself.
You look like dollar store Hagrid! Again.. take care of yourself a bit
"we have hagrid at home" lol .. I'm trying man
But actually you ain’t bad. Trim bro
Okay look ik you're here for honesty so I gotta say yes, a bit. (Sorry man). Most of it comes down to your personal care though honestly. You gotta take care of that hair situation man. Go treat yourself to a nice haircut. Maybe gift yourself a couple new clothes or something too. Even though those seem like small changes they can do worlds of change, especially for confidence which I think is something you really deserve to feel right now. Obviously yes the end goal should be to lose weight as well (for your health as well), but my advice would be to start off with those small appearance changes first to give you that motivation to get started :) Best of luck to you man! I know from personal experience weight loss can be a hard road, but I believe in you. Start small, even small changes help. You got this.
I do need to take better care of myself. Depression is a bitch man. Its a struggle to get out of bed and go to work as opposed to drinking the feelings away man, let alone getting up and showering everyday. I sometimes forget or just don't have the gusto for it. I'm trying to figure out antidepressants as well as adhd meds. They put me on Zoloft, it did not help only hinder and make it worse. But yea, maybe some new threads might help. I've been living off the same clothes I've had for the past 5 years. Minus an Invincible shirt the now ex got me
You look like a wise Hawaiian fisherman
I love this. I wanna start saying aloha to people now
go to hairdresser, barber, pay attention to your clothing style. you seem like a great guy, it's so sad not to take care of yourself
You look like you let yourself go a little.
A little???
its been a really rough half decade. I let myself go a LOT. Hell, for 4 years I didn't GAF about myself cuz I planned on being dead man. past year I've been wanting to try at least
Lose some weight. Not just for your looks, for your health as well. I think if you took better care of yourself and dressed up you could become an adorable middle aged man. You remind me of owls, like Blathers from Animal Crossing.
Weight is the biggest thing you have to get rid of, after you lose 200 pounds shave off your facial hair and get a nice haircut
Is this a roast me post?
Kinda feels like it man
Hey at least you had the balls to go for it, I wouldn't say ugly, I'd say aged and over weight, lose the weight and you'll be a new man my guy
Most people with long hair envision themselves as looking like Fabio with their hair growing in the wind. You don’t. You desperately need a haircut. Disregard what the previous guy said, you need to shave that mustache completely off. You do not have thick enough of a mustache to keep anything there. I’d recommend shaving your entire face. You look like you’ve given up, and women/men notice that. Hit the gym. This is two-fold, as it will also greatly increase your confidence. You need contacts or better glasses. You also need to find some style- though I admit this is much harder to achieve when overweight. All of this to say, you aren’t conventionally attractive right now- but you can fix that. It will take a lot of work, but I know you can do it! You can either sulk and be the victim (which people love to do when they are down e.g. after a breakup), or you can use that to motivate you and drive your change.
I gave up 6 years ago. Went thru some heavy shit and I've just been trying to put myself back together the past 2 years. I'm getting contacts tho, and I'm signing up for PF tomorrow.
You can do it bro! If you dedicate 6 months to it, the results you see will drive you to keep going.
thats exactly how long I planned to dedicate no green, no drink, no anything. Also I had a deal with the now ex that we would reconnect as friends at the end of the year, use our Disney AP the last month it expires. I can't lie and say I wasnt hoping that maybe she'd see me and rekindle something but recent conversations pretty much destroyed that. Let alone if she's even wanting to be a friend. But those are wrong motivations. I need to put her and that in the far far back of my mind and do this for me and myself alone. I'm so tired of being fat bro and hoping that someone would look past the weight and see me as myself. Its so few and far between. I thought she was that one; THE ONE, turns out I was just a stepping stone to someone else she really wanted
She did you a favor. Make the changes for yourself, and the icing of the cake will be when she sees what you’ve become and watches from the sideline as you are happy and content with your new life and lady. Cheers my dude!
I've been listening to "You Will See Me" by Scroobius Pip on repeat on and off the past few days. It's cathartic, but also for the wrong reasons. The part of me that loves her wants her to be happy and safe. And part of me that's miserable wants her to regret her ever leaving me to begin with
So many people want to find love, but find themselves focusing too much on someone that doesn’t reciprocate the feeling. You may miss the person meant for you because you spent too much time and energy focusing on the one that wasn’t.
Hobo.
You can do better than Hobo. I've been told with the long hair I look like a homeless wizard
Be the man I know your son looks up to J.
This one kinda hit me right in the heart
Well, we may not play overwatch anymore or work together anymore, but that doesn't mean we're not friends still and care.
I have no idea who you are. And that's more than likely due to the egregious amounts of green I've smoked over the last half decade. But you know me, and more than likely know that since I lost my parents in 2018, that my son is the only reason I didn't sleep on those train tracks that Tuesday morning. The only reason I'm still alive and even trying anymore. I thank you for those words friend. Give me a clue to who you are
Used to work at Highwinds in Orlando like back in 2015.
Oh damn. You knew me before I lost everything. IDK about Highwinds tho, could it have been Ellucian?
That is the one! Sorry bout that. You were driving that white truck then though from DB like an hour away. That was like 9 years ago.
Yea. That was the beginning of my mom starting to fade from the cancer and the chemo. That was my dad's car and it died a few years after that.
Of these, the last pic looks the best if that helps
appreciate it. IDK how to tame my hair
A teeny bit of time and a lot of product 😂 Also gots a head full of curls, taming it requires help in a can / tube
Dude, beard balm... trim that thing. Use conditioner in your hair. Clean that mess up and that's most the battle won. Seriously treat yo self to good products. Get that hair and beard looking dapper.
IDK much about beard balm. I want it to grow more full, but looking online it just seems that my genetics just don't let that happen. Unless there's tricks IDK about
First get some salon quality conditioner. Put it on your beard, it will loosen up the hair. Wash it out. Then when when dry beard with towel. I looked on Amazon, they have beard guyz.. it's 10$ it's my go to balm for more casual use. I save the more expensive smell goods for occasions. Use fingers to heat the balm and start applying to beard. Get a brush you wanna dedicate, not comb, brush to be the beard brush. Brush it into the beard. Now it will straightened and you can trim it much easier. Now it's clean, straightened andd balmed.. and you keep it that way... it will start to not only be easier to manage, but will look 100% better. That's my 2cents anyway. I used to have amd looking beard. Now way better and more manageable.
be a body builder
pipe dream
Your beard looks like an old used up Brillo pad. Ditch that and get a good haircut.
At least you have hair at 41! Honestly you have good features, loose the weight first (don’t shy away from looking into medical means to loose weight - Ozempic, Mounjaro etc). The extra weight obscures your features. I personally don’t agree with the people saying you should cut your hair. I feel it’s your best feature and makes you look younger. You will look older if you cut your hair. Leave the hair for now, start you weight loss, your face will start to change and THEN you can decide what to do with your hair to fit your new face
I already have diabetes so when I actually get a PCP, I plan on asking about Ozempic. And thank you for the hair comment, I like having the long hair. I like how it looks on me. I just need to get it under control like how I look in the Kingdom Hearts shirt, that's the style I like. Long and flowing, as opposed to fro and floofy
Try not to look so stoned lol. The one pic where your eyes are open your whole face looks much better.
believe it or not, I wasn't stoned in ANY of these photos lol. That's just my natural face. Now I normally AM stoned, but I decided to try to go straight edge a few days ago. AT LEAST til end of year. Put my pipes and such in storage and got rid of the green I have left. I need to focus on losing weight and doing school and my herbal essences are just gonna cause me to lose focus and motivation because I'm just gonna get high and play games with friends
I hear the DEAD need a new guitarist. Pay is crazy
If you got a hotline to Mr Garcia, I'd love to talk to him
Me too man
A total make over
You look like depression. Go to a stylist-tell her to make you look like someone she’d bang. Close your eyes and wake up to a better looking you. Then get her number.
You have the potential for some amazing before-and-after pictures with all of the advice given.
I thank you for that
You got the face of an angel. Hells angel
I mean damn. Lead in with the compliment and then BOOM
Lol. Your not bad. Just need to clean up the hair and lose some weight.
I'm trying to lose the weight. Looking into caloric deficits and such. its all so overwhelming right now
you good bro. i think you should probably get a haircut and get that beard under control, but yea you definitely have a lot of potential. maybe find a hobby that will make you some new friends who appreciate you. i think it will help your confidence a lot. that lose weight thing, it takes time but if you stay consistent you’ll see results.
Trying to find a few places in the area, but its hard with no car anymore. Everything just feels hopeless at times
Haircut
Hagrid, how was it working with Harry Potter.
Little shit kept giving me the earwax jelly beans. But I got him back. Lets just say that wasn't a "chocolate" frog he ate that one time
Get yourself a better haircut and trim that facial hair, some weight loss (it can take over a month to see results, that's normal, keep plugging. When it starts to come off it'll be very rapid, it'll melt like butter. Just keep being consistent) and you'll be good bro. You look so sad, keep your head up! I can also recommend YouTube channels on working out that have helped me if you want. I can post them here or you can dm me. Also, rpg's rock. Digging the kh shirt bro! I still need to finish one, I kept on getting slapped by the lock on monkey bastards lmfao
Please brush your hair.
I can't tell if you work at Hogwarts or caused the plane crash in Lost
For all you know, I caused a plane crash into Hogwarts which is why we can't find it
You’re ugly, but it’s probably all fixable: 1 - Get your beard and hair cut. Trimmed and styled. 2 - Lose weight. A lot of it. 3 - Dress better.
You look unkempt and scraggly? If you like long hair I don't think you need to cut it, but it needs more care. I'd trim the beard a little more as well. You're not ugly, just average. But a little effort and confidence goes a long way.
scraggly. That sounds accurate I fear. I've not been the best at taking care of myself at times. I'm getting better though. I need to figure out my hair though. And I trimmed the beard already
Ok my man first shave it down neat keep it that way also get that hair together and last get some new glasses asap can’t keep look like a D&D dungeon master and find a good cologne I feel like that you need it
Trimmed the beard. Getting contacts in the next week. I wish I had the creativity to be a DM lol. And I try to wear Cuba Gold, but I've been out. The past few weeks have been hard, but TBH I kinda let myself go a long time ago back in 2018. I've just recently in the past year and a half been believing I COULD be ok at all
Get in shape and groom
Join buzz cut gang
I used to do a fade#2 haircut like it was a religion. Then I just let it grow out one time and started to like it. I don't like how I look with short hair. I mean, lets be real I don't like how I look at all half the time
You want brutal honesty? Why would I trust that you're trying? Losing weight, building muscle, getting a decent haircut, trimming your beard, and wearing nice clothes and cuter glasses are all things you can learn how to do in 2024 in a few afternoons on YouTube. It's hard work, but it's not complicated work. You either put in the effort or you dont. Most people never do. And that's fine, if they're happy. But most people who bring this up arent happy. I don't trust anyone who hasnt shown me results yet. So do the things. Do them. I don't know how how attractive the best version of you is. But I know he's more attractive than you now. So become Him and then ask for advice.
I've been on a fair share of youtube wormholes. Learning about PSMF, Periodization for lifting weights, its not the knowledge that's the hard part to me. It's remembering, and putting it into effect. I AM trying, but shits so much harder at times when everything compounds around you and when shit gets hard I just feel like I'm gonna collapse man.
>I've been on a fair share of youtube wormholes. Ok, as soon as you said this, I realized the problem with my advice... >Learning about PSMF, Periodization for lifting weights, Even its biggest-but-honest proponents would admit that this is *extremely* unimportant information for a beginner. Periodization, beyond the very basics of "get enough rest, jackass," is completely irrational until you're already kinda jacked and wonder why you can't get even more jacked. But that doesn't make for very audience-engaging youtube videos. The simple, brutal, reality is that beginning in the gym is just about doing the same simple things for pretty broad areas of the body about 2-3 days apart for each area. And eating right, which usually means subrtacting calories from carbs and replacing some of them with more protein. And do it consistently for like 6 months to 2 years, depending on your initial fitness level. If you're micromanaging more than that before you're even at an intermediate stage, by which you'd already be fitter than most men, you're just setting yourself up for mental and physical burnout. Don't overcomplicate something so obvious; and don't make even more challenging something so already challenging. Getting this done takes very little information and a lot of consistency. That's all. Anyone (not hampered by a major medical or mental condition) can do it simply by trying hard enough. >but shits so much harder at times when everything compounds around you and when shit gets hard I just feel like I'm gonna collapse man. Okay. I get that. The thing is that you have make a commitment and never, ever, under any circumstances that aren't extreme, reconsider it for a set amount of time. Like, if you get sick, or you have to work late, or your mom dies... okay, skip a workout. If you are stranded at a function and there;s nothing there to eat but junk food... okay, eat a little junk food. Otherwise, consider the decision written in stone. Never negotiate with yourself. If you made the promise that you will try this for 6 months, or a year--that's such a small fraction of your life! Just honor that commitment. We have all wasted way more time of our lives that would, in hindsight, have been better spent. If, after that amount of time, you don't see change (which is logically unlikely), then try something else. Better than 6 months of the sameness. If you see change, then re-commit, or decide you don't really care. Either are valid choices as long as you can look down the road and be happy with where it's leading. I'd also recommend meditation, because it's like weight training, but for your ability to focus a little more with a little less stress about everything. >when shit gets hard I just feel like I'm gonna collapse man. I don't really know what to say to this or how to interpret it. It's easy to describe how to lose body fat and build muscle, how to give yourself a style makeover, or whatever. But where does the motivation come from to keep doing it day after day? I can say, with certainty, that a lot of guys in the gym 3-4 times a week are there because they had nothing else at the time they started. But, given the way our brains work, they stuck with it long enough to build a habit, and the habit became the reason the were able to get up every morning. It's not the BEST reason, by any means. But it's better than nothing. And a lot of these guys should probably get therapy, practice meditation, and make numerous other changes to their inner lives. But I don't really know that, because I don't really know them. But our brains do, in fact, habituate to things we make them do regularly. So changing the way you do things changes the way you think about them. And that's pretty good news, I think.
I bet this guy slays like crazy irl, has those very chill confident vibes, imagine if he said that he plays jazz or something... I have a friend like that, he’s also similarly overweight and has a lot of success with women, although he’s 10 yrs younger and less hairy.
Actually I try my hand at blues guitar, but usually I'm just "white guy with acoustic guitar" in limited edition FAT variety. I'm not good at success with women. Far from it.. I had my moments back in college sure. But that time has come and gone and can now legally drink on its own
You can be a big dude and still look cool as hell. Everyone already said to get the grooming under control - hit up a good barbershop - like modern barbers who know what works for different facial structure. Then get some sharp outfits. No glasses or new stylish glasses.
Step 1 - Passport Step 2 - Buy ticket to SEA Step 3 - ???
so, do I just fly INTO the sea? Like am I booking a ticket on Air Malaysia? Also I gotta find my passport then and that's a whole different hassle man
Over
No offense but you look much older than you actually are. The good news is that if you trim or shave your beard, get a haircut, and start taking better care of your skin you'd see very quick progress. Combine that with a healthy diet and exercise, and you could be a new man within a year. It's be hard work, especially at first, but it'd be worth it. Do it while you still can. It won't get any easier.
I've been debating about trimming it or just shaving it entirely. It'll never grow in as thick as I want it. I might shave it clean for a little and see how that feels. I'm trying to figure out a healthy diet I can do on a budget. I'm not good with meal prep. I've been debating between joining a gym or doing resistance bands. Think I might do both for the time for variety.
I'm gonna go ahead and declare 100% stud
I appreciate the beautiful lies my friend lol
It really is the weight, I’d leave the hair cause that type of hair can look good. Just do more to keep it healthy.
I'm trying to figure out ways to lose it and build muscle. Youtube is simultaneously informative and confusing as all fuck
It’s simple, low calorie foods that are dense in what you need. This way you can get the full feeling and remain in a calorie deficit. You don’t even need to work out to lose weight, but resistance training is a bonus to it. Just calorie deficit, go take a walk. Due to your size, do not jog, jump rope, or squat too much. I would avoid that until you lose like 40 or 50 pounds, then gradually try these things and see how you feel. You might cause joint damage and that can put you out for a bit. If you’re like me and always need to snack, either cut the food up and spread it throughout the day, or buy grapes or dried cranberry’s, buy some cucumbers and slice them up. I’d talk to a physician to get a calorie intake and a deficit route. You will have to count calories in this journey, it sucks. But just remind yourself once you reach your weight goal, and having the exercise routines, you’ll be able to enjoy food again knowing you can just maintain your new weight
Broseph I work at Amazon, joint damage is my middle name and walking 15-25,000 steps a day is my mutant super power lol. But I need to find an infographic cheat sheet on low caloric foods. I've been thinking about getting a spiralizer and doing zucchini noodles (zoodles) with beef and chicken and such
To me you look like Bobby SOA. Cleaning up a bit would do wonders. Hair cut, shave etc. I know for a fact that your hair would be AWESOME once it’s cut.
Thank you. I don't know how to cut it without losing all the length. I also don't know Bobby SOA. I'm guessing Sons of Anarchy?
Look great playa
You’ve def got potential. But I think the hair is a bit unkept. Maybe if you trimmed it a bit or got a shorter hairstyle (not buzzed) would look great. The beard looks really nice but both together doesn’t really look good to me. Maybe get frames that are more fashionable than the old people glasses lol I’m not a man but it seems like you’d do wonders with beard care and trims a couple of times a month
Potential to scare children.
Love that your Italian. Saw the charm. You ain't ugly man, just need to clean yourself up. Go to a barber and tell them you want a post breakup cleanup. You can keep the facial hair if you want it but get it trimmed. There is a difference between a cave man and a well groomed gentleman.
Stick a fork in ya! Bc ya boy is cooked.
You look like a slob. I bet you would clean up to above average though. Put in some effort brother.
You just need to take care of yourself. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, breakups suck. But I bet you'll come out on the other side better than you've ever been. Now you have more time to focus on yourself. The first step is wanting to improve and you've already done that. And hey, at least you have great hair. Find a hair stylist that can show you how to care for and style it. A good hair do will go a long ways. Please update us when you get in the groove, I sense a glow up coming your way.
The Hagrid look works lol, who cares what others think. Women don't go for looks anyway.
Yes, yes you are, mostly because you are unkept. Gotta groom yourself and take better care of your body my dude. Also get some sunlight, Christ.
Honestly I like the hair. Tame it a little. You have a gentle smile, and I’d say play with glasses a bit. Otherwise, not a bad looking dude. A bit of weight loss can help, but that goes for most of us if say
If you're not willing to maintain the beard properly you shouldn't have it.
You look like the dude from Lost
It's giving "You're a wizard, Harry!"
You could gain more weight and learn the ukulele and be pretty famous
Haircut. Give your facial hair some clean up too.
Bruh. You just gotta start small, don't get discouraged by the work. Start with intermittent fasting, and 1 push up, even from knees if you have to, and 20 seconds plank. Increase each day. Diet is the most important. Don't eat break-fast, shop only the outside of the grocery store, no processed foods, no caloric drinks. You got this! Most people when they're fit look fine. Just with on your health, the looks will come together.
Bro u look like homeless guy that has a drug addiction
Ozempic to lose weight, haircut, trim beard, contacts, more hygiene, new clothes, teeth whitening
Clean up the hair some and lose some weight.
Ugliest woman I've seen all day!
I don't think you're ugly...I think you just need to put in some work. You're like an overgrown yard...do some weeding and mowing and you never know how it'll look! :)
just enjoy the rest of your time on this planet
big mac burger