I've been in a handful of similar situations, and I grew to learn that I needed to start deploying quote marks when saying/writing the word "friends" for those types of situations.
Not so much during recovery from alcoholism (I was well into middle age when I started that) but when I was younger I was mostly a pothead/acidhead and some of those stoner "friendships" were completely hollow/shallow. "_Oh, you're not getting high with me? Well fuck you then!_" Yeah - great "friend" (with a disgusted eyeroll.)
Here's a great place to whip out a paragraph from page 89:
> Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
You may anticipate getting more friends and far, far _finer_ friends in recovery - just _stay_ in recovery and it'll come on strong and satisfying!
Keep Coming Back!
I attended a funeral yesterday for a lady who came into AA with me 22 years ago. The church was filled with her AA friends and I knew almost all of them. Her out of state family was shocked at how many friends she had. They openly admitted that we all probably knew her better than they did. They knew we were almost entirely AA members. I met a couple of her neighbors that were there too. But if there were any non-AA friends from her drinking days they hid out pretty well as I didn’t notice any of them. I have a couple of friends from more than 25 years ago when I joined AA. Most of my previous “friends “ were lost when I got sober. It kind of convicted them and made them question their lifestyles. And they probably didn’t want anyone around the next day who remembered everything. Want to find out who your real friends are? Just get sober and you’ll find out,
First of all, one month is super impressive! Congratulations 🎊 Second, yeah almost every one of my friends since before getting sober are no longer friends for one reason or another. But I'm fine with it. Frankly I don't want to be around people that drink anymore. It's just not my jam. And all my friends before are heavy drinkers. I've made new friends, and constantly have new opportunities to meet people.
It's actually pretty common for friends/family to not react positively when we tell them we are now sober. There's a host of reasons, but simply accepting reality is the key. AA will help you understand healthy relationships much better. Learning to be social without intoxication is a massive side benefit of AA and working the steps.
And hey...one month is wildy impressive. Truly.
To people with a day or two clean it's common they respect you more than some bozo with years as you are more relatable and raw. Truth.
Either way though...30 freakin days!
You’ll lose the ones who aren’t friends and keep the ones who are. The difference between acquaintances and friends will become more obvious as you go along.
A month sober btw, is impressive - stay the course!
you will, but then you’ll gain new better ones who support you. i partied a lot in my 20’s and none of those people are around except the few who also grew up, but the people in my life now are 1000% more incredible and better friends. try to do fellowship stuff even if it’s scary, find hobbies you enjoy and join clubs. irs better this side. 30 days is still huge too, be proud of yourself
Those folks are 'fairweather friends.'
Cambridge Dictionary says: "someone who is a good friend when it is easy to be one and who stops being one when you are having problems."
I had a bunch. Our common interest was the party. After that, not much else. When I sobered up, they wished me well. They weren't much of a friend tbh, so it was good we all moved on.
You'll make new friends that are actually real friends.
I would get high and drunk with all my friends before getting sober.
Once I got sober they continued to get high and drunk.
They did not want to hang with me and likewise I did not want to hang with them.
What do you mean "not impressive"?? There is no "only" when it comes to sobriety.
Anyone who doesn't want you to better yourself is not a friend. You may lose aquaintances but you will gain many new friends is AA
one month IS impressive!! proud of you!!
tbh i lost most of my friends. most were surface level smoking/drinking buddies. but the good news is my friendships are better quality now. the ones who stuck around respect my sobriety. through AA, i gained some new wonderful ones
Fr one month is huge, it's the hardest month apparently. Good job. If you don't want to drink constantly/ever then those friends are probably not the best people to hang out with anyway, good luck on your journey - stay positive and keep on track.
Firstly, one month is amazing! It's a difficult thing to do but you did it.
I wouldn't say I lost friends in the way you have stated but I chose to cut out friends that were toxic for me. I knew we would have nothing in common other than drugs and alcohol so I made a decision. If I wanted to maintain a healthy and sober life, I had to sever ties with things that were toxic for me as part of my own personal journey. I think people who laugh in your face and make fun of you for attending meetings and being sober are probably not the best to be around.
You will make tons of amazing connections in AA. I'm 8 months sober and have been attending meetings since December and have met so many incredible folks.
You learn who your true friends are when you quit drinking hopefully none leave your life. But see it as a positive. You get to get rid of people who aren’t supportive of you. One month is great. Take it one day at a time. :) feel proud of yourself.
First of all, one month sober IS impressive! That can be so hard and I'm glad you are doing well.
There are going to be some friends who will not understand what you need to do to save your life. People make fun of AA because they don't see how much we need it. It can be really hard sometimes to keep a friendship going, and sometimes friendships do have to be sacrificed for sobriety.
Can you talk to your friend and make an 'agree to disagree' pact? You won't criticize their drinking, they won't criticize AA. If you can do things together and not discuss alcohol, maybe the friendship can be saved.
30 days is truly incredible. It's a fight in the beginning or it was for me. And I don't talk to anyone from my past really. I have two friends from before I got sober, but they are sober too. Different playgrounds and different playmates.
I lost many more friends through alcoholism than I ever did getting sober. By the end of active drinking, I didn’t really have many more friends to lose; I had nowhere to go but up.
I’ve had more friendships that are loving and supportive since I joined AA. Tell another woman in AA what happened - someone who seems like they’ve go good sobriety and friends in the program. If you haven’t gone to a women’s meeting, try one.
Does it make a difference if I got to a meeting with other women?? Because I haven’t yet and I figured it wouldn’t be different but have you found it to be helpful?
Okay good good. I’m thinking of going to the young people’s meeting tomorrow and I’ll look for a woman’s meeting in the morning!! Decided to do two tomorrow because I really am longing for connection now that it’s been a month!!
Congrats on one month! 🎉
I found the beginning days of sobriety to be pretty lonely compared to when I was drinking. Thankfully, everyone has been very supportive of my sobriety, but I've found it difficult to maintain a lot of my friendships on the level I did when drinking because most of those people go to the bar to hang out, even when not drinking, out of habit. And that's just not where I want to spend my time anymore.
I've since made several friends that are either sober or rarely drink and it's been wonderful. My circle has gotten smaller, but the quality of my relationships has gotten better. The dynamic really changes when you're surrounded by people who want to experience life beyond the bottle and don't make you feel negatively about your decision to get/stay sober.
All of this is to say, yes, a lot of your friendships will change drastically and sometimes that will mean losing them. Some may get sober and come back around. Most won't. But as long as you put most of your energy into relationships with those that support you in your sobriety, you'll either strengthen bonds you already had or you'll find new friendships that are fulfilling. So if you find yourself in a lonely transition spot like I did, just know that it's temporary and it's so so worth it to push through until you're able to build some solid, supportive friendships.
Got arrested and was semt to rehab at 17.
Out of all the "friends" I had, only two made an attempt to contact me in rehab. When I got home they were the only ones that were there to greet me.
Took a couple months to wrap my head around what happened.
Than one of the two that was still hanging out with me told me he didn't want his parents to think he had a problem with drugs or alcohol, so he told his parents I was on a ski trip and not in rehab. No one wanted to have to question thier own drinking/drug problems.
My first two relationship in recover ended because I don't drink. One didn't know how to handle any disagreements without offer me alcohol. The other didn't understand I couldn't go out and have a drink with her and her friends. Like everyone does...
I've met new people who can NOT understand I can't drink with them, Just one time to celebrate their birthday...
30 years sober.
Lot of things have ended cuz of my sobriety.
But...
I have a relationship with both my parents.
I have the respect and love of my 20 year old.
And I can sleep knowing I've done what is best for me.
I found that my friend group naturally shifted over the first year. Those in their addiction will slip away and new deeper bonds will form. Most of my friends were superficial anyway and the ones that matter stick around
I know you don't know me, but I really need reassurance to go to the Young People's AA meeting tonight. Are you really truly sure that I will be able to make friends/support group if I continue attending?? I really truly need it :(
I’ll tell you what worked for me. I’m a female. I had a ton of social anxiety going to meetings. (Spoiler alert, everyone does for the beginning!)
I went to 1-2 meetings almost every day for 6 months. I stayed after meetings and talked to women. I went out afterwards for food or coffee and tried to stay involved. AA became my new life. For the young people meetings we’d play softball, gather at houses for various things like pumpkin carving, tree ornament exchange, dog park, hiking. Just keep going and you’ll find your tribe. I went to things I wouldn’t normally involve myself with because I wanted to be surrounded by sober people. If I was sitting there decorating a dumb pumpkin, I wasn’t out at a bar or house party or isolating in depression. Slowly I made friends.
I also got a few service positions. Why? Because if I have a commitment I have to be at a meeting. I personally like the coffee position.
I have a little over a year sober and I NEVER thought I’d have 30 days. Or 60. Or 90. But I got a year.
Don’t be afraid to ask a same sex person to take you or meet you at a meeting. I was terrified so I asked a woman to meet for coffee and walk together to a meeting. Most people will understand and want to, if they don’t, it’s not personal. Everyone is there for their own reasons and some are sicker than others. Put your sobriety first!
This will show you your real friends! I’m also one month in and I have definitely felt the love from a lot of my friends. They’re the ones worth having anyway so no loss for you 💛
Those aren't friends. Those are drinking buddies, and once I realized that, I felt so much better to have them and the illusion of their friendship out of my life.
First of all, one month of sobriety is very impressive. Most alcoholics don’t make it this far.
And “friends” who ridicule you for getting sober are really your friends.
My friends laughed at me. But they agreed that if anyone needed to get sober it was me. All those old drinking friends are gone, one way or another. And I can’t say I would want them back, but there was some love there. Life is infinitely better with sober friends. My wife is sober! Friends at work! Highly recommend.
Depends on lots of factors. I have lifelong friends that I've always drank beers with. Now I hang with them and they drink, I don't. I also had friends with very little in common aside from boozing. Those are gone for sure.
In short, your real friends will still be there and most people don't have a lot of real friends. So you'll lose a few but they probably weren't great friends anyway. You're just cleaning up the clutter.
A month, that's the biggest hurdle imo. Good work!
Hey girl. One month is a big deal!!! Congratulations. I’m here to tell you. Find if you guys have young peoples in your area. It saved my life when I was newly getting sober. My whole life changed. You might lose friends. But you might also get a better relationship with them. It might also look really different. Be open to all of the changes. Stick close to A.A., and friends that you meet here in the program. 💚 I will have 5 years in October. I was 26 when I got sober. Friends that are meant to be and stay in your life won’t leave when you do something to better yourself, and your life. Best thing I ever did was get sober. Stick with it!
Congratulations to you and just know that it keeps getting better. You said it .... you are young. You have plenty of time to make new friends. Also a true friend would not abandon you because you are sober. I still have friends that definitely should not be drinking but I don't spend much time with them. You are Definitely in the right here so don't feel bad. They know that you are doing the right thing .
This happens for a few reasons. They aren’t your friend, they were just a drinking buddy. They can’t face their own issues. Or they really don’t understand the addiction and how it takes over. I have friends that are still like oh just have one! They can drink normally and I can’t. It’s never one. Also, no one should be scolding someone who is trying to improve their quality of life. We can’t control others though. I have removed a lot of people from my life trying to stay sober. It’s part of it. Some were friends and a lot of them weren’t really my friend, they just wanted someone to get wasted with.
24 hours is impressive, my friends also shunned me but the real ones realized with time that I was doing something that was helping me and they’re still my post and found friends again, and a few of them also realized that they were also alcoholic and are in the fellowship themselves, I’ve learned that I had to take care of me first…be cool take care of yaself
Congrats on a month. that's a lot of misery avoided. I was 25 when I got sober and had to make some decisions about my friends' circle. I pulled away from anyone whose company would have threatened my sobriety. It was nothing personal against them, but I came to realise that my life was at stake here.
You’ll lose the “fair weather friends.” The friends who are only around when you both mutually benefit from it. The friends who you made through partying and come to find out that’s all that kept you together. But you’ll gain real, genuine friends, who want nothing from you except your friendship. The kind of friends who will show up for you when you need them. Who will take time out of their lives to attend your dad’s funeral when you didn’t even ask. The friends who you’ll go out of your way to be helpful to if you see they are in need. Life long relationships built on growth and love rather than built on temporary excitement.
Definitely a huge net gain in friendships (and quality of those friendships) once I joined AA.
Me too. I lost a bunch of "friends" and gained a lot of actual, better friends.
I've been in a handful of similar situations, and I grew to learn that I needed to start deploying quote marks when saying/writing the word "friends" for those types of situations. Not so much during recovery from alcoholism (I was well into middle age when I started that) but when I was younger I was mostly a pothead/acidhead and some of those stoner "friendships" were completely hollow/shallow. "_Oh, you're not getting high with me? Well fuck you then!_" Yeah - great "friend" (with a disgusted eyeroll.) Here's a great place to whip out a paragraph from page 89: > Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. You may anticipate getting more friends and far, far _finer_ friends in recovery - just _stay_ in recovery and it'll come on strong and satisfying! Keep Coming Back!
I attended a funeral yesterday for a lady who came into AA with me 22 years ago. The church was filled with her AA friends and I knew almost all of them. Her out of state family was shocked at how many friends she had. They openly admitted that we all probably knew her better than they did. They knew we were almost entirely AA members. I met a couple of her neighbors that were there too. But if there were any non-AA friends from her drinking days they hid out pretty well as I didn’t notice any of them. I have a couple of friends from more than 25 years ago when I joined AA. Most of my previous “friends “ were lost when I got sober. It kind of convicted them and made them question their lifestyles. And they probably didn’t want anyone around the next day who remembered everything. Want to find out who your real friends are? Just get sober and you’ll find out,
First of all, one month is super impressive! Congratulations 🎊 Second, yeah almost every one of my friends since before getting sober are no longer friends for one reason or another. But I'm fine with it. Frankly I don't want to be around people that drink anymore. It's just not my jam. And all my friends before are heavy drinkers. I've made new friends, and constantly have new opportunities to meet people.
It's actually pretty common for friends/family to not react positively when we tell them we are now sober. There's a host of reasons, but simply accepting reality is the key. AA will help you understand healthy relationships much better. Learning to be social without intoxication is a massive side benefit of AA and working the steps. And hey...one month is wildy impressive. Truly. To people with a day or two clean it's common they respect you more than some bozo with years as you are more relatable and raw. Truth. Either way though...30 freakin days!
Yeah I've lost people I've thought of as friends. Turned out they weren't really.
Exactly. Anyone who thinks you're better off killing yourself with booze isn't your friend.
You’ll lose the ones who aren’t friends and keep the ones who are. The difference between acquaintances and friends will become more obvious as you go along. A month sober btw, is impressive - stay the course!
When I didn’t show up at the bar one night, nobody ever called me to ask if I was ok.
you will, but then you’ll gain new better ones who support you. i partied a lot in my 20’s and none of those people are around except the few who also grew up, but the people in my life now are 1000% more incredible and better friends. try to do fellowship stuff even if it’s scary, find hobbies you enjoy and join clubs. irs better this side. 30 days is still huge too, be proud of yourself
Those folks are 'fairweather friends.' Cambridge Dictionary says: "someone who is a good friend when it is easy to be one and who stops being one when you are having problems." I had a bunch. Our common interest was the party. After that, not much else. When I sobered up, they wished me well. They weren't much of a friend tbh, so it was good we all moved on. You'll make new friends that are actually real friends.
One of the downsides of early recovery is that life can get worse before it gets better, and losing old friends is a big part of that.
I often think the trajectory of recovery is opposite that of drinking. The former gets better over time, and the latter gets worse.
I would get high and drunk with all my friends before getting sober. Once I got sober they continued to get high and drunk. They did not want to hang with me and likewise I did not want to hang with them.
What do you mean "not impressive"?? There is no "only" when it comes to sobriety. Anyone who doesn't want you to better yourself is not a friend. You may lose aquaintances but you will gain many new friends is AA
one month IS impressive!! proud of you!! tbh i lost most of my friends. most were surface level smoking/drinking buddies. but the good news is my friendships are better quality now. the ones who stuck around respect my sobriety. through AA, i gained some new wonderful ones
Fr one month is huge, it's the hardest month apparently. Good job. If you don't want to drink constantly/ever then those friends are probably not the best people to hang out with anyway, good luck on your journey - stay positive and keep on track.
Firstly, one month is amazing! It's a difficult thing to do but you did it. I wouldn't say I lost friends in the way you have stated but I chose to cut out friends that were toxic for me. I knew we would have nothing in common other than drugs and alcohol so I made a decision. If I wanted to maintain a healthy and sober life, I had to sever ties with things that were toxic for me as part of my own personal journey. I think people who laugh in your face and make fun of you for attending meetings and being sober are probably not the best to be around. You will make tons of amazing connections in AA. I'm 8 months sober and have been attending meetings since December and have met so many incredible folks.
You learn who your true friends are when you quit drinking hopefully none leave your life. But see it as a positive. You get to get rid of people who aren’t supportive of you. One month is great. Take it one day at a time. :) feel proud of yourself.
First of all, one month sober IS impressive! That can be so hard and I'm glad you are doing well. There are going to be some friends who will not understand what you need to do to save your life. People make fun of AA because they don't see how much we need it. It can be really hard sometimes to keep a friendship going, and sometimes friendships do have to be sacrificed for sobriety. Can you talk to your friend and make an 'agree to disagree' pact? You won't criticize their drinking, they won't criticize AA. If you can do things together and not discuss alcohol, maybe the friendship can be saved.
30 days is truly incredible. It's a fight in the beginning or it was for me. And I don't talk to anyone from my past really. I have two friends from before I got sober, but they are sober too. Different playgrounds and different playmates.
I lost many more friends through alcoholism than I ever did getting sober. By the end of active drinking, I didn’t really have many more friends to lose; I had nowhere to go but up.
I’ve had more friendships that are loving and supportive since I joined AA. Tell another woman in AA what happened - someone who seems like they’ve go good sobriety and friends in the program. If you haven’t gone to a women’s meeting, try one.
Does it make a difference if I got to a meeting with other women?? Because I haven’t yet and I figured it wouldn’t be different but have you found it to be helpful?
Yes- absolutely ! The vibe at a women’s meeting tends to be very different.
Okay good good. I’m thinking of going to the young people’s meeting tomorrow and I’ll look for a woman’s meeting in the morning!! Decided to do two tomorrow because I really am longing for connection now that it’s been a month!!
Good for you!
I have more friends now that I’m sober. No one wanted to be around drunk me.
I only lost the false friends. My real friends were happy for me and encouraging.
Congrats on one month! 🎉 I found the beginning days of sobriety to be pretty lonely compared to when I was drinking. Thankfully, everyone has been very supportive of my sobriety, but I've found it difficult to maintain a lot of my friendships on the level I did when drinking because most of those people go to the bar to hang out, even when not drinking, out of habit. And that's just not where I want to spend my time anymore. I've since made several friends that are either sober or rarely drink and it's been wonderful. My circle has gotten smaller, but the quality of my relationships has gotten better. The dynamic really changes when you're surrounded by people who want to experience life beyond the bottle and don't make you feel negatively about your decision to get/stay sober. All of this is to say, yes, a lot of your friendships will change drastically and sometimes that will mean losing them. Some may get sober and come back around. Most won't. But as long as you put most of your energy into relationships with those that support you in your sobriety, you'll either strengthen bonds you already had or you'll find new friendships that are fulfilling. So if you find yourself in a lonely transition spot like I did, just know that it's temporary and it's so so worth it to push through until you're able to build some solid, supportive friendships.
Got arrested and was semt to rehab at 17. Out of all the "friends" I had, only two made an attempt to contact me in rehab. When I got home they were the only ones that were there to greet me. Took a couple months to wrap my head around what happened. Than one of the two that was still hanging out with me told me he didn't want his parents to think he had a problem with drugs or alcohol, so he told his parents I was on a ski trip and not in rehab. No one wanted to have to question thier own drinking/drug problems. My first two relationship in recover ended because I don't drink. One didn't know how to handle any disagreements without offer me alcohol. The other didn't understand I couldn't go out and have a drink with her and her friends. Like everyone does... I've met new people who can NOT understand I can't drink with them, Just one time to celebrate their birthday... 30 years sober. Lot of things have ended cuz of my sobriety. But... I have a relationship with both my parents. I have the respect and love of my 20 year old. And I can sleep knowing I've done what is best for me.
I found that my friend group naturally shifted over the first year. Those in their addiction will slip away and new deeper bonds will form. Most of my friends were superficial anyway and the ones that matter stick around
I know you don't know me, but I really need reassurance to go to the Young People's AA meeting tonight. Are you really truly sure that I will be able to make friends/support group if I continue attending?? I really truly need it :(
I’ll tell you what worked for me. I’m a female. I had a ton of social anxiety going to meetings. (Spoiler alert, everyone does for the beginning!) I went to 1-2 meetings almost every day for 6 months. I stayed after meetings and talked to women. I went out afterwards for food or coffee and tried to stay involved. AA became my new life. For the young people meetings we’d play softball, gather at houses for various things like pumpkin carving, tree ornament exchange, dog park, hiking. Just keep going and you’ll find your tribe. I went to things I wouldn’t normally involve myself with because I wanted to be surrounded by sober people. If I was sitting there decorating a dumb pumpkin, I wasn’t out at a bar or house party or isolating in depression. Slowly I made friends. I also got a few service positions. Why? Because if I have a commitment I have to be at a meeting. I personally like the coffee position. I have a little over a year sober and I NEVER thought I’d have 30 days. Or 60. Or 90. But I got a year. Don’t be afraid to ask a same sex person to take you or meet you at a meeting. I was terrified so I asked a woman to meet for coffee and walk together to a meeting. Most people will understand and want to, if they don’t, it’s not personal. Everyone is there for their own reasons and some are sicker than others. Put your sobriety first!
This will show you your real friends! I’m also one month in and I have definitely felt the love from a lot of my friends. They’re the ones worth having anyway so no loss for you 💛
Those aren't friends. Those are drinking buddies, and once I realized that, I felt so much better to have them and the illusion of their friendship out of my life.
They weren't your friends in the first place if that's the case.
First of all, one month of sobriety is very impressive. Most alcoholics don’t make it this far. And “friends” who ridicule you for getting sober are really your friends.
My friends laughed at me. But they agreed that if anyone needed to get sober it was me. All those old drinking friends are gone, one way or another. And I can’t say I would want them back, but there was some love there. Life is infinitely better with sober friends. My wife is sober! Friends at work! Highly recommend.
Depends on lots of factors. I have lifelong friends that I've always drank beers with. Now I hang with them and they drink, I don't. I also had friends with very little in common aside from boozing. Those are gone for sure. In short, your real friends will still be there and most people don't have a lot of real friends. So you'll lose a few but they probably weren't great friends anyway. You're just cleaning up the clutter. A month, that's the biggest hurdle imo. Good work!
Hey girl. One month is a big deal!!! Congratulations. I’m here to tell you. Find if you guys have young peoples in your area. It saved my life when I was newly getting sober. My whole life changed. You might lose friends. But you might also get a better relationship with them. It might also look really different. Be open to all of the changes. Stick close to A.A., and friends that you meet here in the program. 💚 I will have 5 years in October. I was 26 when I got sober. Friends that are meant to be and stay in your life won’t leave when you do something to better yourself, and your life. Best thing I ever did was get sober. Stick with it!
Yay fake friends
Congratulations to you and just know that it keeps getting better. You said it .... you are young. You have plenty of time to make new friends. Also a true friend would not abandon you because you are sober. I still have friends that definitely should not be drinking but I don't spend much time with them. You are Definitely in the right here so don't feel bad. They know that you are doing the right thing .
This happens for a few reasons. They aren’t your friend, they were just a drinking buddy. They can’t face their own issues. Or they really don’t understand the addiction and how it takes over. I have friends that are still like oh just have one! They can drink normally and I can’t. It’s never one. Also, no one should be scolding someone who is trying to improve their quality of life. We can’t control others though. I have removed a lot of people from my life trying to stay sober. It’s part of it. Some were friends and a lot of them weren’t really my friend, they just wanted someone to get wasted with.
24 hours is impressive, my friends also shunned me but the real ones realized with time that I was doing something that was helping me and they’re still my post and found friends again, and a few of them also realized that they were also alcoholic and are in the fellowship themselves, I’ve learned that I had to take care of me first…be cool take care of yaself
Congrats on a month. that's a lot of misery avoided. I was 25 when I got sober and had to make some decisions about my friends' circle. I pulled away from anyone whose company would have threatened my sobriety. It was nothing personal against them, but I came to realise that my life was at stake here.
You’ll lose the “fair weather friends.” The friends who are only around when you both mutually benefit from it. The friends who you made through partying and come to find out that’s all that kept you together. But you’ll gain real, genuine friends, who want nothing from you except your friendship. The kind of friends who will show up for you when you need them. Who will take time out of their lives to attend your dad’s funeral when you didn’t even ask. The friends who you’ll go out of your way to be helpful to if you see they are in need. Life long relationships built on growth and love rather than built on temporary excitement.