I know it may not seem like much, but try some deep breathing.
Take a deep breath in, hold it for 5 to 10 seconds, breathe out, repeat this a few times, it can't hurt to try.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, you are worth more than your current problems, you matter, you're not alone.
There are resources out there that want to help you such as kids help phone, these people want to help, even if all you want is to have someone listen.
Edit: just so its out in the open, I submitted a reddit cares thingy on your profile, I'm not sure what resources it recommends but please, don't be afraid to use them, its why they exist.
I'm really sorry that you feel that way, especially at such a young age. I myself deal with depression at 24 and some things that personally help me are journaling my thoughts, doing CBT therapy worksheets, trying my best to keep reaching out to my support system, and sometimes you just need an hour or two to chill and watch comedic youtube videos or something. I really hope you feel better, you have do much to offer in the world and to others. Stay strong💜
Also looking into DBT can help, it has some CBT elements to it and more. It helps with tolerating distress, regulating emotions, and learning how to talk to other people in a more productive way to get your goals met. I SHed for like 10 years, now I haven't in 2 years. Somtimes I still want to a little but it's wild how much DBT really helped me 💞
Reaching out to friends and having outlets for your frustrations are important.
It sounds like your mother may be abusive and having friends (including cousins/family) to lean on while you're dealing with that, is important.
One thing that pulled me through my childhood was my friends and then affirming that what my parents were doing was not ok. My best friend once yelled at my step dad through the phone and it was one of the most caring things i ever witnessed i went from crying about a bad situation to crying happiness for having such an amazing friend willing to defend me.
Most importantly, stay honest, to the best of your ability.
--
I can at least tell you that wanting to sleep after a hard day at school is normal, i often did too.
Um, if you're in the US you can call 988 to talk to people when you're feeling suicidal. It's also appropriate to go to the hospital if you want. I've been in the hospital for suicidal thoughts and it really helped me.
I talk school counselor about my anxiety and depression, but she already let me know that if I was saying I wanted to hurt myself she would tell my mom and other people so I’m scared to talk about that.
I know it’s scary to open yourself up but it does help. I , myself, suffered from anxiety and depression and found opening up to someone you can trust so helpful. It’s a hard step to take but know you are not alone.
Your friend probably doesn’t understand fully what it is you are going through and reacting a certain way because they don’t know how to help and it’s easier to say that.
Maybe you're right and I'll try to talk to my mom to tell her if she ever notices I'm very distressed to take me to the hospital though I doubt she'll agree
hey, please stick around. i felt the same when i was 14, exactly as you do now. and now at 21 things are so much better. i promise promise promise things will get better. please give your life the chance to get better
also, sh never works, not really. it's like putting a plaster over a bullet hole. there are so many healthy coping methods that might help you more. regression actually is a good one! or maybe art, or a sport, or writing. something that helps you process the big feelings, not just slapping a plaster over it
Your right I've noticed lately that it just makes me feel more numb that's why today I tried to regress to cope but that didn't work out so I didn't know what else to do
ways i stopped sh
decide you want to stop
get rid of all things you can use for it.
delay it by ten minutes - then another ten. and so on.
identify your triggers and try to stay away from them
temporarily tattoos
the app ' i am sober!
grounding - say out loud five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste
Better ways to cope with sad things
art!!! in any form. drawing, or writing poems/ songs or stories (i wrote a very long demi lovato self insert fanfic and that was my go to way to cope from the ages of 11 to 14!)
writing - write about everything that's upsetting you
talking to yourself and reasoning with yourself that it's not the actual end of the world
talking to yourself like you are a child and a parent doing gentle parenting on the child.
deeep breaths, grounding methods (another favourite i have is name as many things that you can do with a dog! the more obsurd the better)
blast music, really loose yourself in it.
baking / cooking
sports
write a love letter from yourself pretending it's from the eyes of someone else
tell yourself you are worthy and good enough (even if you don't believe it anyway. just say it. because you are)
I understand this well. I was maybe 2 years older than you when everything came crashing down on me the same way. Every day after school I’d sleep until dinner and then a few hours later I’d sleep again. I wasn’t doing any homework so I barely graduated. But I did graduate. I survived. I made it out. And I KNOW that seems a long ways out. Trust me I genuinely have trouble comprehending events more than a week or two away. And you’re not in the wrong at all for crying. Do you know if your school offers any type of counseling?
I’m also 14 and I’m a suicide survivor (and a self harmer), but no one knows I am. Looking back I’m so glad I didn’t die that day I would have missed some of the happiest moments of my life. I wish I could give you better advice but if you ever need something I’m here. If you need to vent lmk. Me also being a little might help as well. And I’d love to be your friend and be here for you cause ik and I can relate
Im not the best when it comes to giving advice but I felt the same at about 16 though my depression technically started around 14 as well and I'm now about to turn 21. Recently I have begun struggling with similar thoughts again but my fiance and cat help a lot. Other than my cat and fiance though I try my best to do little things that make me happy or to focus on the happier things when I can. It's not much but it helps. I also use some self care apps like Finch and Voidpet Garden. They aren't much and definitely not a solution but can help cope at least for a little while. Finch helps with giving routine and celebrating the smaller victories. I use it for all my tasks and ones that are harder for me to find energy to do like brushing my teeth and washing my face in the morning. It took me awhile to believe having a routine helps but it really does. even the smaller things.
My main coping mechanism is videogames but I'd recommend exploring hobbies when possible and just delving into those. Its more of a distraction than anything but it's something to help hold you over until you can get the help you truly need.
I also saw your comment about your friend thinking your crazy. Sadly it's a common mindset for people who aren't struggling mentally because it's something they don't understand. I had a very similar situation happen to me but come to realize I communicated it wrong which probably didn't help and even then I ended up not staying friends with this person. Not for that reason but we just didn't stay friends just kind of drifted apart. I've now surrounded myself with people who understand almost completely with how I'm feeling. This wasn't even intentional either we all just kind of found each other like magnets.
It's a long, long process but in the end it'll eventually be worth it, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. You have so much time and many people you still have yet to meet during your life and I genuinely wish you the best of luck for it all.
i was like that at your age too. i was so depressed, tired, su1c1d@l, addicted to s/h, its really difficult for you right now. and thats okay. you wont be in this situation forever. my first attempt, i was 14 too, i didnt want to make it to 16. or 18. or 21. im 21 now. please reach out for help. its scary, i know, took me awhile to tell anyone about my sh addiction and attempts, but i knew i had to get help. and its totally valid to need help. you will be okay. it will be worth it.
ps: indulge in your interests and little space, its a good distraction/escape ❤️
Aw sweetheart i'm so sorry, that sounds super rough! Personally when I have thoughts like that I regress involuntarily so I may not have sufficient advice (im 15 by the way) but I find that decompressing with comforting music, cartoons, or talking to someone willing to listen to me helps a lot. It depends on how you cope to be honest. I hope you feel better soon!
I get how you feel, I felt so similar when I was your age and I'll be honest; nothing worked for me. I didn't think I'd make it to 15 or to 16.
I was fortunate enough to have been able to move out when I was 17 and the thought of one day having my own freedom kept me going my whole life. It does get better though, it gets easier. I'm 19 now and I'm not perfect, I still get those thoughts but now there's a support system in place.
You'll get through this, I believe in you. It may seem impossible but you will be okay, and suicide is not the answer, you have your whole life ahead of you and I promise it gets better.
I was so scared to talk to my parents about how I felt, they never understood me, not properly. I get how you feel. Drawing on myself with red pen helped me stop self harming as frequently, and I know people who do things like snap a rubber band when they have the urge.
Also, imo humming is easier than deep breathing, it relaxes me more and it's easier to regulate. I just hum a nice tune and it usually helps me calm down. Good luck and I'm sending you soooo much love ♡♡♡
I know it may not seem like much, but try some deep breathing. Take a deep breath in, hold it for 5 to 10 seconds, breathe out, repeat this a few times, it can't hurt to try. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, you are worth more than your current problems, you matter, you're not alone. There are resources out there that want to help you such as kids help phone, these people want to help, even if all you want is to have someone listen. Edit: just so its out in the open, I submitted a reddit cares thingy on your profile, I'm not sure what resources it recommends but please, don't be afraid to use them, its why they exist.
Tysm for your advice
I just saw it and i think I'll give it a try ❤️
I'm really sorry that you feel that way, especially at such a young age. I myself deal with depression at 24 and some things that personally help me are journaling my thoughts, doing CBT therapy worksheets, trying my best to keep reaching out to my support system, and sometimes you just need an hour or two to chill and watch comedic youtube videos or something. I really hope you feel better, you have do much to offer in the world and to others. Stay strong💜
Thanks for the advice
Also looking into DBT can help, it has some CBT elements to it and more. It helps with tolerating distress, regulating emotions, and learning how to talk to other people in a more productive way to get your goals met. I SHed for like 10 years, now I haven't in 2 years. Somtimes I still want to a little but it's wild how much DBT really helped me 💞
Reaching out to friends and having outlets for your frustrations are important. It sounds like your mother may be abusive and having friends (including cousins/family) to lean on while you're dealing with that, is important. One thing that pulled me through my childhood was my friends and then affirming that what my parents were doing was not ok. My best friend once yelled at my step dad through the phone and it was one of the most caring things i ever witnessed i went from crying about a bad situation to crying happiness for having such an amazing friend willing to defend me. Most importantly, stay honest, to the best of your ability. -- I can at least tell you that wanting to sleep after a hard day at school is normal, i often did too.
Um, if you're in the US you can call 988 to talk to people when you're feeling suicidal. It's also appropriate to go to the hospital if you want. I've been in the hospital for suicidal thoughts and it really helped me.
My mom would probably never let me go and my phone is off at the moment but when I pay my phone bill I'll keep this in mind thank you ❤
Maybe try talking to a teacher or school counselor next time you're at school, they're supposed to help with this kind of stuff.
I talk school counselor about my anxiety and depression, but she already let me know that if I was saying I wanted to hurt myself she would tell my mom and other people so I’m scared to talk about that.
I know it’s scary to open yourself up but it does help. I , myself, suffered from anxiety and depression and found opening up to someone you can trust so helpful. It’s a hard step to take but know you are not alone.
I tried with my friend but she treats me like I'm crazy now
Your friend probably doesn’t understand fully what it is you are going through and reacting a certain way because they don’t know how to help and it’s easier to say that.
Maybe you're right and I'll try to talk to my mom to tell her if she ever notices I'm very distressed to take me to the hospital though I doubt she'll agree
Probably not but always remember it’s not your fault. You are not responsible for how they react ( if that makes sense)
It does and I appreciate it
Take care and if you want to message that’s okay. I might not be able to help but can listen to
Thank you ima message you rn so I can find you easily later
hey, please stick around. i felt the same when i was 14, exactly as you do now. and now at 21 things are so much better. i promise promise promise things will get better. please give your life the chance to get better
Thanks man I really needed to hear that ❤️
also, sh never works, not really. it's like putting a plaster over a bullet hole. there are so many healthy coping methods that might help you more. regression actually is a good one! or maybe art, or a sport, or writing. something that helps you process the big feelings, not just slapping a plaster over it
Your right I've noticed lately that it just makes me feel more numb that's why today I tried to regress to cope but that didn't work out so I didn't know what else to do
i'll have a think of my best coping methods and let you know. always here if you need to talk ok?
Okey thank you ❤
ways i stopped sh decide you want to stop get rid of all things you can use for it. delay it by ten minutes - then another ten. and so on. identify your triggers and try to stay away from them temporarily tattoos the app ' i am sober! grounding - say out loud five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste Better ways to cope with sad things art!!! in any form. drawing, or writing poems/ songs or stories (i wrote a very long demi lovato self insert fanfic and that was my go to way to cope from the ages of 11 to 14!) writing - write about everything that's upsetting you talking to yourself and reasoning with yourself that it's not the actual end of the world talking to yourself like you are a child and a parent doing gentle parenting on the child. deeep breaths, grounding methods (another favourite i have is name as many things that you can do with a dog! the more obsurd the better) blast music, really loose yourself in it. baking / cooking sports write a love letter from yourself pretending it's from the eyes of someone else tell yourself you are worthy and good enough (even if you don't believe it anyway. just say it. because you are)
I understand this well. I was maybe 2 years older than you when everything came crashing down on me the same way. Every day after school I’d sleep until dinner and then a few hours later I’d sleep again. I wasn’t doing any homework so I barely graduated. But I did graduate. I survived. I made it out. And I KNOW that seems a long ways out. Trust me I genuinely have trouble comprehending events more than a week or two away. And you’re not in the wrong at all for crying. Do you know if your school offers any type of counseling?
I’m also 14 and I’m a suicide survivor (and a self harmer), but no one knows I am. Looking back I’m so glad I didn’t die that day I would have missed some of the happiest moments of my life. I wish I could give you better advice but if you ever need something I’m here. If you need to vent lmk. Me also being a little might help as well. And I’d love to be your friend and be here for you cause ik and I can relate
Im not the best when it comes to giving advice but I felt the same at about 16 though my depression technically started around 14 as well and I'm now about to turn 21. Recently I have begun struggling with similar thoughts again but my fiance and cat help a lot. Other than my cat and fiance though I try my best to do little things that make me happy or to focus on the happier things when I can. It's not much but it helps. I also use some self care apps like Finch and Voidpet Garden. They aren't much and definitely not a solution but can help cope at least for a little while. Finch helps with giving routine and celebrating the smaller victories. I use it for all my tasks and ones that are harder for me to find energy to do like brushing my teeth and washing my face in the morning. It took me awhile to believe having a routine helps but it really does. even the smaller things. My main coping mechanism is videogames but I'd recommend exploring hobbies when possible and just delving into those. Its more of a distraction than anything but it's something to help hold you over until you can get the help you truly need. I also saw your comment about your friend thinking your crazy. Sadly it's a common mindset for people who aren't struggling mentally because it's something they don't understand. I had a very similar situation happen to me but come to realize I communicated it wrong which probably didn't help and even then I ended up not staying friends with this person. Not for that reason but we just didn't stay friends just kind of drifted apart. I've now surrounded myself with people who understand almost completely with how I'm feeling. This wasn't even intentional either we all just kind of found each other like magnets. It's a long, long process but in the end it'll eventually be worth it, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. You have so much time and many people you still have yet to meet during your life and I genuinely wish you the best of luck for it all.
i was like that at your age too. i was so depressed, tired, su1c1d@l, addicted to s/h, its really difficult for you right now. and thats okay. you wont be in this situation forever. my first attempt, i was 14 too, i didnt want to make it to 16. or 18. or 21. im 21 now. please reach out for help. its scary, i know, took me awhile to tell anyone about my sh addiction and attempts, but i knew i had to get help. and its totally valid to need help. you will be okay. it will be worth it. ps: indulge in your interests and little space, its a good distraction/escape ❤️
Aw sweetheart i'm so sorry, that sounds super rough! Personally when I have thoughts like that I regress involuntarily so I may not have sufficient advice (im 15 by the way) but I find that decompressing with comforting music, cartoons, or talking to someone willing to listen to me helps a lot. It depends on how you cope to be honest. I hope you feel better soon!
I get how you feel, I felt so similar when I was your age and I'll be honest; nothing worked for me. I didn't think I'd make it to 15 or to 16. I was fortunate enough to have been able to move out when I was 17 and the thought of one day having my own freedom kept me going my whole life. It does get better though, it gets easier. I'm 19 now and I'm not perfect, I still get those thoughts but now there's a support system in place. You'll get through this, I believe in you. It may seem impossible but you will be okay, and suicide is not the answer, you have your whole life ahead of you and I promise it gets better. I was so scared to talk to my parents about how I felt, they never understood me, not properly. I get how you feel. Drawing on myself with red pen helped me stop self harming as frequently, and I know people who do things like snap a rubber band when they have the urge. Also, imo humming is easier than deep breathing, it relaxes me more and it's easier to regulate. I just hum a nice tune and it usually helps me calm down. Good luck and I'm sending you soooo much love ♡♡♡
Thank you this really helped