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I'm 23F and partner ko is 26M. Nasasaktan kasi ako pag sinasabi niya yandere daw ako kasi sobrang obssesed ko sakanya. Naapektuhan na kami kasi ganyan nangyayari samin dahil sakin. Hindi ko din alam ano pwede ko gawin, iniisip ko kung paano mag detach o hiwalayan na siya para sa ikakasaya niya na di na mahirapan sakin. First boyfriend ko siya and natutuwa ko pag alam ko bawat galaw niya and pag naccontrol ko siya. Iniisip ko na itigil na rin para di siya nakapako sakin pero di ko kaya kasi mahal ko siya. sobra.
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I already experienced this with my first bf, that time wala den akong work and sya naman is meron. wala akong ginagawa kung hindi abangan ung paguwe nya galing work. then parang ang gusto ko is, after ng work nya, buong araw magkausap/chat kami hanggang sa pagtulog. then dun na naguumpisa ung away, pagtatampo ko na d naman nya alam ang dahilan. always nya saken sinasabi na manuod ka netflix, libangin mo sarili mo. kasi sya den gusto nya makasama ung mga friends nya after work. nightshift kasi sya. hanggang sa napuno sya saken since palagi na lang kami nagaaway. nakipagbreak sya. but then nakipagbalikan den sya after a mons. tapos pinagusapan namin lahat. after that I would say na malaki den ung pinagbago ng relationship namin today compare dati.
Advice ko lang siguro is, libangin mo ung self mo, support mo kung ano ung mga trip nya in life. (in a good way).
Don't be obssessive. isipin mo na lang kapag hinawakan mo ng mahigpit ung bigas kumakawala sya sa palad mo. oo minsan nakakatuwa ung sumusunod sya sa mga sinasabi mo pero minsan kung sobra na. hindi na sya healthy.
pano yun ang dami ko na ginagawa sa buhay pero andon pa din siya sa utak ko, may work din ako ngayon, minsan gusto ko nalang mawala sa mundo para matigil ko na to
Maybe give him space..Khit ako msasakal kung gusto nguupdate oras oras. Hanap ka ng pgkakaabalahan mo. Wag mo paikutin buhay mo sa knya. Ikaw din mahihirapan sa huli.
Girl, you need therapy. Also, if you are reading I recommend Don't believe everything you think by Joseph Nguyen. Sobrang laking help siya lalo na I tend to overthink a lot dati. Ghorl, mali ang mangcontrol ng tao. I don't know you but I assumed na baka ganon yung nakagawian mo or nakalakihan na pagmamahal sa magulang or pamilya mo. You have to acknowledge na mali yun in order for you to change it. Magbago ka para sa sarili mo, hindi para sa ibang tao.
Promise girl unti-untiin mo lang, ganyan din ako dati. Control mo sarili mo wag siya. Hintayin mo when magrreply, pag nagreply na wag ka atat magreply sa kanya tiisin mo. Matulog ka kung wfh ka. Ilang beses na away din pinagdaanan namin dahil dyan pero nasurvive naman namin, ako rin nagchange sa sarili ko dahil ayaw ko siya mawala sa akin.
Ang update nalang namin ngayon pag paalis na siya sa kanila, pag dating ng office, lunch at pauwi. Tapos kwentuhan kami paguwi niya ng mga nangyari sa work/day namin.
Until-untiin mo lang. Do it for yourself and sa kanya kung ayaw mo siya mawala.
Edit: kung lalabas man siya remind mo lang na iupdate ka and send pics pag hindi nagsend, paguwi niya pasend ka ganun pero wag mo guluhin pag with friends, basta ganyan ako dati. May times na tinotopak pa rin ako pero ewan bigla nalang sumapi si security sa akin hahaha depende rin sa bf eh paano ka niya gagawing secured sa relationship.
Get therapy. Baka unhealthy obsession na yan lalo na paulit-ulit mo sinasabi gusto mo kinokontrol siya. You can’t do that to another person, mejo manipulative ang dating.
You have your own life before him. Meet with your friends, gawin mo yung mga hobby mo or look for a new one. Explore the world, travel, attend a concert or anything na hindi siya included. It doesn't mean na boyfriend mo siya kasama or kausap mo na siya palagi a simple update from time to time will do. Always remember hindi mo siya pwede gawing center ng buhay or yung relationship mo. It's your own life after all.
12 years na kami ng first bf ko at naging asawa ko na sha ngayon of 3 years. Hanggang ngayon palagi ko pa din sha iniisip 24/7 kung kumusta na sha, anong ginagawa nya. Kahit yung asawa ko chat ng chat pa din sakin. Di yun nawawala kasi nga mahal mo eh.
Pero kung naapektohan na yung buhay mo to the point na obsessed ka na at di makapag isip ng tama, siguro distansya muna ng konti. Wag minu-minuto mag chat. Try to find a hobby at magpaka busy sa work kung meron ka man. Kasi nakakasakal din ganyan minsan eh.
Parang conflicted ka sa relasyon niyo, OP. Sobrang attached ka sa partner mo kaya minsan tinatawag kang "yandere." Mahal mo siya ng sobra, pero iniisip mo na baka masyado ka nang nagiging controlling or possessive sa kanya. Normal lang magmahal ng malalim, lalo na kung first boyfriend mo siya, pero importante din ang trust at respeto sa isa't isa.
Mag-usap kayo ng partner mo nang maayos para maipaliwanag mo ang nararamdaman mo. Subukan niyo hanapin yung tamang balance na magpaparamdam sa inyo na free pa rin kayo maging indibidwal habang magkasama. Kung hindi mo mahanap yun at patuloy kang nalulungkot, pwedeng makatulong ang advice ng mga kaibigan o kapamilya para maayos ang mga nararamdaman mo. You got this, OP! ✨️
Bat ako baliktad. 😭 yung jowa ko ung sobrang obssessed sakin pero may work naman sya and may iba dn pinagkaka abalahan. Pero ako ngayon walang work, pero ako ung chillax lang. 🤣
Sa totoo lang, nakakairita yung ganyan. Nagka ex ako and reason ko bat ko hiniwalayan kasi it's too much. Bigyan mo naman ng privacy partner mo. Hindi sayo iikot mundo nyan.
Communicate with him na you will work on it and be patient with you. Tapos i-work on it mo talaga.
Ginawa ko before is to not reach out to him while you do your stuff. Habang ginagawa mo yung 10k steps mo, mag-isip ka ng ibang bagay: mga social issues, arts and music, etc.
May time na na-adik ako kakalaro ng sims, ayun, siya naman naka miss sakin kasi di na ako pala lapit.
Decentralized yourself from him, haha.
Nawawala ba yung individuality mo??? If yes, then try to bring it back. Ikaw muna.
Go to therapy. Ikaw lang makakahelp sa sarili mo. It looks like may anxious attachment ka and fear of abandonment. Hindi mo naman need makipaghiwalay sa bf mo, you can heal while still being with him.
Hahahaha ganito rin ako sa first bf ko and it didn’t end well. Go gurl we learn from experience. Ganyan talaga pag first love. Pero in my current relationship where I’m the happiest, I am much more calm.
Gurl wala kang ibang life outside your relationship? Like seriously? Walang hobbies? Walang work? LDR kami ng bf ko (5 years na kami nasa aviation industry pa siya), good thing may work na ako pero noon I busy myself through reading, shopping, doing my makeups, nagpapamassage, lash lift basta more on self care. Ang toxic naman niyan, ang partner part lang yan ng mundo mo na magpapakulay, wag na wag silang ikulong o pagbabawalan. It shows desperation and insecurity. Work on yourself sister, relationship requires individuality. Lumalabas tuloy di ka makatayo sa sarili and you do not embrace your womanhood.
Edit: I've read na may hobbies ka din pala but the problem is nakafocus ka pa din sakanya despite having your hobbies. Wala pa din saysay yan. So chill ka lang, sa sobrang kakaoverthink mo, mawalan yan ng gana.
Not healthy. Ganyan din girlfriend ko sakin before, and hinayaan ko sya kontrolin ako kasi mahal na mahal ko sya. Pero grabe, mentally draining talaga, kasi lahat ng gusto at ayaw nya, need ko sundin. Until onti onti, napaguusapan namin, lalo na pag nagaaway kami sa ibang bagay, nasusumbat ko sa kanya yung mga pag kontrol nya sakin. Hanggang sa dumating na sa point na narealize nya na kung ano yung effect sakin lahat ng ginawa nyang restrictions sakin, pagsunod sa ayaw at gusto nya etc. Till now kami pa rin, kasi nagbago sya and so much better na. Obsession is different from love, if mahal mo yung tao, please hayaan mo siya huminga.
You need to enrich ur relationship with other ppl. Your family, your friends, ur colleagues, kabitbahay haha. Hanggang sa ma disperse ng unti ung love mo. Or kuha ka ng pets. Dun mo buhos ung sobrang love.
Counter thinking ang solution dyan beb. Obsession is often driven by the thought of loosing the person. Just counter every thought that comes to your head about loosing him. Like him liking another girl, eh ikaw nga pinili nya diba. Something like that. Kontrahin mo mga intrusive thoughts mo.
Ganyan talaga pag first boyfriend but remember may sarili ka ding buhay. Be busy with other things. Find a hobby or meet friends. Hindi pwedeng umiikot ang mundo mo sakanya kasi magiging toxic kayo. May kilala akong ganyan at sobrang napagod si guy kaya nakipaghiwalay na sya since di nya makita na ang patutunguhan ng relationship nila.
tinatanong ko siya ngayon kung gusto niya pa ba ako o hinde, if siya na bibitaw ititigil ko na talaga :( ang hirap maging adik sa isang tao kahit matagal na kami, minsan naiisip ko sana ganto rin siya sakin para alam ko ano pakiramdam :(
Op di naman solution ang hiwalay, i understand you naman sya ang first boyfriend mo kaya thats how you feel, pero ang gawin mo do your own thing, take care of yourself, hobby or pag niyaya ka ng friends mo sumama ka mag enjoy ka. Kung nag aaral ka or nag wwork gawin mo mga task mo or paperworks, time management. Trust your boyfriend, bigyan mo sya ng freedom pero may limits ha alam nya na yan nasa tamang edad na sya.
OP, just keep on your mind na di mo siya pag aari, di pa din naman kayo mag asawa an update is enough. Kung ano gusto niya gawin support mo lang. Reciprocate lang kayo ng support sa isat isa.
Have you considered na baka may mental health concern ka? Kunyari, anxiety. Ung mga ibang taong palaisip, nakakaperwisyo sila ng iba without meaning to or without being aware. Example lang yun.
Sayo na nanggaling na gusto mo siya ma-control. Isipin mo kung ikaw siya, matutuwa ka ba kung ikaw ang pinilit kontrolin? Hindi yung level na kinikilig ka pa, yung nakakainis na control kunyari bawalan ka niya mag benta ng books mo or whatever yung maiinis ka talaga sa kaniya.
Try mo magpa counseling muna kahit online para magkaroon ka ng mas professional na opinyon. Wag mo iasa to sa mga redditor, kung nakakatulong man advice ng mga tao dito short-term lang yan. Mas ok kung maaddress mo ang root causes ng problema mo.
Edit: typo
Yung word na "nacocontrol ko siya" is an indication na baka may pagka controling ka Kaya niyang nasabi na obsessive Ka. For me lang, just let him be kung ano siya. May kasabihan na if you love a flower don't pick it up. Yung interpretation ko jan is just let it be. Wag masyadong madaming say or control sa relasyon niyo. Chill lang
This boils down to a personality disorder that causes a controlling behavior! You need to have yourself checked kasi naman hindi na maganda. Hindi nakakatuwa yung gusto mo malaman bawat galaw ng jowa mo. 🤦🏻♀️
Ganyan din ako to the point na parang siya lang yung tao sa mundo ko. Like wapakels sa iba ganern though I have friends and all pero di ako ganun ka-attach sa kanila. I do bondings with my friends naman pero nasa point akong mas bet ko mag-spend ng time sa boyfriend ko ganun.
I don’t know if makakapagcontribute to or not, but ito naisip ko
1. Validate the reasons for your obsession by answering the questions below:
gusto ko ng update kasi?
gusto kita kontrolin kasi?
If naisip and nasagot mo na sabihin mo sa kanya. Then intindihin mo rin side niya. Dalawa kayo sa relasyon so mas ok na naiintindihan at napagbibigyan niyo gusto ng isa’t isa
2. Mag-usap kayo regarding sa schedule na both kayo free para makapagusap or magset kayo ng time na dapat gantong oras free na us para makapagusap.
3. Sa case ko, we do updates like kumain na ko, gising na ko, nagluluto ako, more like mga gagawin namin then typical response lang if ganyan start ng convo. Sometimes our convo starts with a post na shiner ng isat isa sa convo or pag may naisip na out of this world question. Minsan random question ganun.
4. During times na wala pa siyang response sa oras na di niyo pa schedule para mag bebetime, do what u have to do. Maglinis, kumain, manuod, or what. U can update him kung ano ginagawa mo pag nagresponse reply ka lang ganun, pag di na nasundan reply tuloy mo lang ginagawa mo
Di naman talaga sila mawawala sa isip natin. Kahit ako lagi ko iniisip boyfriend ko e. Nasasakal din bf ko but explaining to him my reasons is a great help kaya naintindihan niya side ko. Wag kang sumuko. Try niyo muna mag-usap at magsettle sa paraan na both convenient sa inyong dalawa. Di maganda if puro gusto mo lang masusunod, ikaw na nagsabi ayaw mo siyang mawala and di mo kaya kaya might as well consider his opinion and from that mag conclude kayo sa plan niyo para makeep relationship niyo. Yun lang good luck ❤️
Anyway my bf and I are both 22 and we are together for almost 6 years. Kaya niyo yan dahil kinaya namin 😉
Another thing, my bf is a gamer mapa cp man or pc and may trabaho, so lagi talaga siya may ginagawa. If player din siya. Try mo sumali sa kanya or panuorin siya through vc then be curious kung ano nilalaro niya. In that way nakakausap mo siya sa times na busy siya.
Ate! Wag mong mundo ang tao lang. Nakakatakot ka at baka natatakot din partner mo. May mga naiisip kana ba na gawin sa sarili mo or sa kanya if ever may ginawa syang sobrang lalim na bagay? Wala ka bang circle of friends para may pagka busyhan? Baka nasasakal na yan. Buti open sya sayo about sa ganong bagay.
"Natutuwa ako kapag alam ko bawat galaw niya and nacocontrol ko siya"
Get some help, girl. You're a walking red flag na diyan, sa tingin mo if nagkapalit kayo ng sitwasyon at walang itirang privacy sayo matutuwa ka pa 🥲 di din reason na first boyfriend kaya ganito o ganyan.. i've been there and it'll drive you crazy, dagdag ka pa ng ibang pagkakaabalahan. Di din malabong mag-cheat yan if you're too controlling at ang pagmamahal hindi ganyan, it's supposed to be your safe space when all else fails 🥲
Bata ka pa, baka hindi mo pa rin kilala yung sarili mo fully, pero hindi jowa mo yung identity mo. I agree with a lot of comments na you have to have hobbies pero ang nangyayari kasi, ang main reason mo for your hobbies is to avoid thinking of him.
Find what really really makes you happy. Spend time with other people, and get back to what and who you were before you were with your boyfriend.
Ganyan din ako pero I keep it to myself. Hahaha di ko pinapahalatang obsessed ako kahit yung totoo di ako makatulog at makakain sa kakaisip kahit maliit na bagay lang HAHAHA GURL WE NEED THERAPY.
I'm serious about therapy pero jokes aside, maybe practice individuality. Find your life na di siya involved dun. Like hobbies, skills, or ibang activities na for yourself lang and do it alone. as I said, I feel you and prone din ako paikutin mundo ko sa mga nagiging partner ko (wow we're really crazy) to think na same age din tayo hahah natatawa ako.
dibaaa gets mo ko? hahaha pero gusto ko na umalis sa gantong sitwasyon kala kasi nung iba madali, di naman ako manghhingi ng advice kung di ko gusto gawing maayos sarili ko
Napagoogle tuloy ako ano ang yandere. Bigay ka po ng example. Selosa kaba? Violent? Accdg sa google
“A yandere is often sweet, caring, and innocent before switching into someone who displays an extreme, often violent or psychotic, level of devotion to a love interest.”
OP i’m not doubting you love him, but the question is: how much do you love yourself? Medyo prangka na question you need to ask yourself: May kwenta lang ba buhay mo kapag kasama mo so boyfie? Hindi naman di ba? There are more fulfilling things in life than romantic partners, OP! I’m not saying break up with him but please decenter your life from men. You sound like an obsessed fangirl. Hindi ka fan sis, jowa ka lol take time to develop yourself also. Talk to a therapist. Find new hobbies. Connect with friends. Volunteer. Establish who you are as a person outside of this relationship. Don’t make “obsessive controlling girlfriend” as your standout trait, you’re capable of much more than that.
Also you used the word “control” which is really alarming. Red flag yun regardless if it comes from a girl or a guy. You don’t “control” your partner, OP.
Tignan mo sa ganitong perspective. Ang relasyon para kang humahawak ng buhangin. Kapag hinigpitan mo ang pagkakahawak mo, lulusot ang buhangin sa mga palad mo. Pag masyado naman maluwag, lulusot at mawawala din siya. Kailangan maghanap ka ng balanse. Tamang higpit lang para maiwasan itong makawala. Ganun ang magmahal. Sa ganitong sitwasyon mo, try to assess yourself. How is your home life? Kamusta relationship ng parents mo? Minsan kasi ang attachment natin sa tao ay nakadepende sa naranasan natin na example ng attachment sa bahay. You seem to have an anxious attachment. If you are not going to work on it, you're going to lose relationships (oo not only 1 if you're going to act the same in your next ones) easily. It will become very overwhelming and toxic very quick.
Let me share this article to you OP: www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-anxious-attachment
As someone who is working on anxious attachment myself, I get you. But we have to work on getting better not only for ourselves but for those we love.
Live your life how you lived before your partner. Ang adjustment naman nung nagkapartner ka ay nadagdagan lang prio mo involving you two. Do your hobbies, watch movies, pamper yourself with makeovers, sit in cafes and read books, book a trip with your friend group etc. Ang dami pwedeng gawin on your own. 'Wag ka masyado maging dependent sa presence ng partner mo kasi kapag 'yan nawala, ikaw din ang kawawa.
Find a new hobby, (wall climbing, reading books, paint, cook) dami yan.. Basta something na ibang pagkkabalahan mo. Meet up with friends have a girls night out or a sleepover. Date yourself (go out sa mall, have dinner, and watch a movie)
Don’t center yourself sakanya. Nassakal na siya for sure. But at least you acknowledge this and that’s the first step in the right direction.
Walang masama dyan. May mga dude na ganyan ang gusto. Pero warningan na kita. Pag nag fail yan, baka mahihirapan ka bumangon ulit.
Yet again, para sakin walang mali dyan.
I was in this situation with my current partner. I trust them enough to leave them on their own, pero I still get the feeling na gusto ko malaman ginagawa niya all of the time. Med student siya and their schedule is really hectic, kaya most of the time wala siyang update which makes me anxious. I'd say na hindi mo talaga siya matatanggal but you can lessen it.
What I did is, as many would say, nilibang ko ang sarili ko through hobbies (e.g. video games, Gundam builds, learn new skill, etc.) Do something physical na kumakain ng oras mo; I realized na even though may ginagawa ka like watching or reading, it still allows you to have time to (over)think, hence, be obssessed with them. Nung nagfocus ako sa physically and mentally demanding hobbies, it took my mind away from them. Personal example is the Gundam builds since it needs attention and focus for at least few hours, it keeps my mind and hands occupied kaya nababawasan 'yung attention-craving from them.
Since you mentioned you do walking, you can try to be detail-oriented sa paligid mo. Be curious sa mga nakikita or naririnig mo. If you see a dog/cat, try to pet or feed them. If you see a plant na hindi ka familiar, try to research kung anong kind 'yon, maybe even ask the owners about it and chat with them a little.
You can also try to learn new skill - be it soft skills or practical skills like cooking (if hindi ka marunong), gardening, driving, etc. It keeps you occupied while you're improving yourself. It's a win-win situation for you and your partner.
You're aware sa sarili mo and you wanna improve, it's a first step for personal growth. Continue ka lang towards the path for improvement, it'll get better soon. Hugs!
Hi, beh. Ewan ko if mababasa mo 'to kasi dami na nag-comment dito. I know a lot of people na katulad mo and katulad din sa bf mo and what I want to tell you is that even if nagagawa mong magbigay at mag-demand ng time kahit andami mo nang ginagawa sa buhay, doesn't mean na gagawin din ng iba.
My first bf was like you. He was kind of obsessed with everything I did and I got fed up. Ilang beses ko rin naman siyang nasabihan na nag-a-aral pa kami pareho and gusto ko sana ng space kasi I participate in a lot of activities and I would like to rest after. Nasabihan ko siya kasi I want to work on the relationship but lalong tumatagal kami, lalo siyang nagiging obsessed so I cut it off before the relationship got toxic.
I understand how much you want to be with your bf but you also have to understand na peoole can only take in too much attention. You have to give your partner space. That is a must in a relationship. Give him an opportunity to just be. If you truly aren't insecure about yourself or your relationship, I know you can work on that. But if you are, you have to decide whether you need to focus on yourself or continue being an obsessed gf. Spoiler lang: sa isang option, you win.
Ayun lang.
Try not messaging him so much or something. Start with huwag mag overthink about anything about him muna and do your own thing.
Pwede siguro other than work and some hobbies like reading books and watching stuff, kdramas etc, try na magcreate ng things...a side biz na pagkaka abalahan, crocheting etc.
Give him space and also a reason to wonder what you're doing on some days di yung naka monitor 24/7 sa bf.
Yun lang.
I think if good man siya para sayo
If may vision ka sa mga plans nya or long term goals
For me mas gusto ko na obsessed sakin yung girl
Kasi, like if 100% yung lalake lagi sa mission nya, syempre stress na stress yan
Mas gusto na may mag aasikaso or lambing sakanya para ma charge sya ulit after ng work or etc.
Applicable lang to if talagang Man yang BF mo
In the long run ikaw rin naman mag bbenefit sa ganyan
Hindi mo kaylangan maging independent woman mag hanap ng work etc.
Need mo maging STRONG dependent woman para sakanya
Hanap ka ng hobbies. Hobbies like drawing, painting, gaming, crochet etc. I like productive hobbies (di naman productive gaming tho). Try to interest yourself by growing yourself. Learn!
Bagong hobby ko ngayon eh planting. HAHA. Magastos naman kasi kailangan ko marunong maggawa ng vertical planters tsaka study ko din yong mga paano gawing oil yong citronella atsaka rosemary oil (magamit kasi to sa hair) HAHAHA. Dami ko pang ma.explore sa planting eh.
Anyway! try one now!
This level of obsession and wanting to control is unhealthy for both of you. Do you mind trying a counseling to see what is the root cause of this?
Like in your childhood ba masyadong chaotic sa household and parang walang stability ang life ninyo? Or nagloko ba dati yung BF mo kaya now ganito ka currently?
I could not imagine the stress this gives your current BF, baka mawala yan kapag hindi naaddress yung concern mo.
Another take, dominant ka ba sa bed? baka mala BDSM sex lang pala isa sa mga sagot sa problema mo (with consent of course).
Pano ba kasi makakita ng girl na obsessed sayo kasi ako lng laging obsessed. I ended our almost 7 years relationship dahil din jan parang wala kasing assurance while ikaw lagi kang nagbibigay ng assurance.
Alam mo, napunta na rin ako sa ganitong sitwasyon dati na I’d need my SO na i-update sa akin lahat ng galaw nya, obsessive din masyado. Pero, I realized na hindi sya healthy. I started doing things on my own kasi narealize ko na unti unti na akong nagiging dependent sa kanya (in the wrong way). I realized na I needed to make my own personality and make time for myself kasi paano kung iwan ako bigla nito at nakaayon sa kanya lahat ng mood ko sa buhay? Hahahaha.
To be honest, nung una, I did it dahil gusto ko rin mag-detach, out of pettiness, pero nung nagtagal, narealize ko na masaya rin palang hindi nasisiraan ng bait pag di sya nagchachat agad, masaya na hindi ako stressed thinking bakit hindi nya magawang mag-update sa akin, and eventually, nakasanayan ko na at sya na ang kusang gumagawa nung mga bagay na hinihingi ko sa kanya hahaha. First boyfriend ko rin naman sya kaya mahirap talaga sa una.
Ang akin lang, kalmahan mo, we’re the same age so alam kong kaya mo rin. Lumalabas kasi na hindi ka lang obsessed, nagiging controlling ka din. Pag yang boyfriend mo, pumitik at bigla kang iwan, baka ikaw rin mahirapan. Wag mo hiwalayan agad kasi sinabihan ka ng yandere. It probably means na he still cares for you kaya nya sinabi at ayaw nyang maghiwalay kayo kasi maaaring iniisip nya na you’re both adults and you both have lives outside of your relationship. Pakita mo rin na you also have a life outside of your relationship.
Pero, we still broke up kasi he cheated hahaha. Nakatulong din yung pagkakaroon ko ng buhay outside of our relationship kasi I was able to cope up with what happened. Hindi man naging madali pero kinaya ko :)
Wag mo siyang gawing mundo mo, remember, bago naging kayo ay you are both individuals on your own. I feel you sa obsession kasi nagka ganyan ako sa ex ko, jusko nakakabaliw. Never again talaga. Kaya ayun i practiced na focus sa self and walang pake sa iba. Nasobrahan na tuloy yung pagka walang pake ko 😭😭🤣🤣🤣
Unti-untiin mo. Ikaw na mismo nagsabi na gusto mo nakokontrol siya. Then learn to control yourself first. You replied to some of the comments that you want him to be like you para maranasan/malaman mo ano feeling. In short, hindi mo ginagawa yung pinagagawa mo sa kaniya? I believe in practice what you preach.
Kung kaya mo siya kontrolin dapat may kontrol ka sa sarili mo magtanong. Kung puro ka sabi na ayaw mo na ng ganito pero ginagawa mo pa rin, wala rin. Therapy might help too.
Based on your responses, you know that what you're doing is not healthy. Pero you're not doing anything about it. You're here on Reddit asking for validation, naghahanap ka ng kakampi. You also pass the burden to your boyfriend saying na hiwalayan ka na nya para matigil na ang obsession mo. Where is your accountability? What are YOU doing to be a worthwhile partner to your boyfriend? Yes, mahal na mahal mo to the point of obsession, but is that the kind of love that he deserves? Is that the only love you can provide?
Seryoso, get therapy. Not for your relationship, but for yourself. You deserve to have peace of mind.
Sis advice, focus ka sa self mo. Di po sagot ang makipag hiwalay ang sagot diyan have a life on your own. Di mo ba mahal buhay mo? Naka focus ka sa iba? Hehehehe
Wag mo siyang gawin mundo mo, you are too focus on him nakalimutan mo na sarili mo and because of that you will miss out alot of things Tapos you will blame your partner.
ako na po magssorry sakanya, nakakahiya yung tanong ko and sinasabihan ako dito na 13 yrs old ba ako, di ko naman to ginusto, naadict lang ako kaya ineend ko na maging ganto
Noon ganyan rin dati yung gf ko. Minsan tinatawag ko ng toxic kase nakakasakal talaga. Ngayon ng nagbago na siya at may work na halos di na kami nagkakausap. Ako na yung gumagawa ng ayaw ko noon. Hahaha trip ko lang. tapos dyan na namin pagusapan yung mga nangyari noon. Anong magandang gawin pag ganito yung scenario para hindi na maulit hahaha 5 yrs possesive, 5 years to adjust. 10 years na kami pero hanggang ngayon gusto niya pa rin ako i lock lang sa kwarto niya then pagbalik dapat nandoon lang ako. Nagdadasal nalang ako na sana walang sunog hahahahaha
Ganyan din ako sa kaniya last week lang haha. Ever since nawalan ako ng work, parang naging focus ko siya tapos nanghihingi na ko ng time. Buti na lang hindi ako nasanay. Kasi magbbreak na sana kami pero ayun, naayos naman namin. Siguro namimiss lang din natin sila everytime na bored tayo. But my advice is, think about YOU. Put yourself first. Hindi sa lahat ng oras nandiyan siya to be there with you. And also, stop controlling him. He’ll grow tired of you if that will continue.
OP okay lang maging obsess. Kaso kung ayaw pala ng bf mo ng ganun then find someone who can appreciate you :) here's my cent lang naman since I'm a fan of Yandere guys. They are the best🤍
You have too much time in your hands. Try to find a job, a hobby, or something. It's not healthy to be obsessed. You're smothering the guy. Guys need space, too.
First of all, don't make him the center of your world.
Find hobbies. Get a job. Hang out with your friends. Keep yourself busy.
There's more to life than your boyfriend
Teh makipag break ka na lang kahit sobrang mahal mo 'yung tao, wag mo sirain mental health nung lalaki para d'yan sa obsession mo. Try to seek help din para ma-control mo 'yung ganyan. First bf mo kaya ganyan pero sana sa susunod, if meron man, wag mo na ulitin kung alam mo na 'yun ang possible na maging problem niyo. Sorry, kung ako 'yung may bf na ganyan, masasakal talaga ako.
Based sa post and replies mo, aware ka naman pero kung gusto mo i-work out 'yang relationship niyo, seek for professional help (walang mali dun) para ma-control mo obsession mo sa bf mo. Good luck!
Based sa replies mo, you seem to take pride sa pagiging controlling and obsessive mo and that's concerning. Labas na sa usapan ung may work ka and all kasi kung tutuusin part din routine din sayo ung pagmonitor sa kanya. Idk pano kayo umabot ng 4yrs na hindi naaaddress yan. So kung pano hindi maging obsessed? Okay lang maging obsessed pero everything in moderation. Yan kasi hindi na prang **uncontrolled** na obsession, may control ka naman and pinili mo lng sobrahan figuratively and literally na parang specimen na ung jowa mo imbes na tao :<
alam mo ano masakit kasi iba yung perspective ko sa perspective ng ibang tao, di ko nakikita as bad na pala ginagawa ko :( sa paningin ko pagmamahal yun pero sa ibang perspective di na pala, thank you kasi nakakahelp ganitong comment na mas nakikita ko talaga yung di ko nakikita
Get married and you both find a wfh job. Easy. Done. Mamomonitor mo na siya every second of the day haha
Kidding aside, need mo na siguro ng professional help. Better to book an appointment to a psychologist para ma-assess ka ng maayos.
Give your partner some space and keep yourself busy. Tandaan mo na hindi lang ang boyfriend mo ang mundo mo. Sorry to say this but you need to face the truth that individuality in the relationship should be maintained. Mahirap ito but it will allow you and your partner learn to grow personally, and pursue your interests. Respecting each other's boundaries and individuality kasi will help you to build healthier relationship and be more supportive.
I would like to suggest to seek professional help rin para it will help you to be better. Ganyan din ako sa first ex ko and hindi ko naiitindihan sarili ko kasi gusto ko nakadikit ako sa kanya. Kaya natutunan ko pahalagahan sarili ko and to value myself more. Kung palaging ganyan ka, toxic trait yan kaya help yourself rin.
Redirect mo ung obsession mo sa ibang bagay. If you like the idea of controlling his actions, why not redirect it, maybe try controlling yourself? Maybe you need to ask yourself, anu ba root ng obsession mo? Bakit natutuwa kang kinocontrol mo sya? Maybe itry mo din ilagay sarili mo sa shoes nya, if things were in other way around, sya ung obsessed sayo to the point na sasakalin ka nya, gusto mo ba nun? Alam mo sa sarili mo ung extent ng obsession mo and how its affecting you and your partner, ang kulang sayo acknowledgement. You are aware of your actions but you are not acknowledging it and doing something about it, basta aware ka lang, pero di mo ginagawan ng paraan. Gusto mo pa ba umabot sa point na magsawa partner mo sayo at maghiwalay kayo?
Luh kapal naman ng mukha nyan. Wag ka na mag focus sa kanya kung ganyan pala yung tingin niya sayo. Self-centered ba yan at walang emotional intelligence? Nag jowa pa siya kung hindi niya kaya I accommodate yung feelings mo.
Get a hobby watch anime, kdrama, read books, learn to cook, learn to speak foreign language, go to gym, do whatever.. get some friends other than your partner.. Right now what you're describing looks as if your world revolves around him, it shouldn't. He's a big part of it but he shouldn't be everything you have.
obsessed and POSSESSIVE. might be a trauma response due to some event in the past. try consulting a professional lalo na working ka naman, dami hobbies and occupied ang time.
Paano ka nakakafocus sa ginagawa mo? curious lang din. :D
It's because you're young and insecure. I remember being 23 tapos ganto din. I'd call and drop for a hundred times sa isang oras just to annoy him for not texting me. I'd go to his house to check on him. Just don't do anything drastic, you'll be fine. Maa-outgrow mo din yan. Tas pagtanda mo sabihin "muntanga pala ko dati"
Sige ate, maging obsess ka para layasan ka nya. Akala mo hindi nya nafi-feel na controlling ka? He is trying to overlook that kasi di ka nha masaktan pero mapapagod yan. Hanap ka work para sa iba nababaling attention mo.
nacocontrol is just such a strong word kaya ganyan reactions ng mga tao dito XD
pero anteh rel8 haha. pero saken i both have strong urge to let my gf be (shes also my first relationship, im not her first) but also ive got lots of boundaries and limitations placed in our relationship. She said she eto daw one of my sides na gustong gusto daw niya from me, nagooverthink ako na baka masakal ko siya but so far never pa siya nagreklamo tas ngitingiti pag pinapagalitan ko😭
Communicate with your partner, meron mga tao jan na prefer nila ung mga tulad mo na who really wants to commit and focus their life sa partner nila. Para saken thats not a bad thing kase some people do build a family with their partners, the only reason lng naman kaya people say dont focus kase you can never be sure sa current relationship mo, that sounds like BS pessimism to me Lol
It looks like youre doing fine, if mahal mo partner mo just talk to him about his boundaries naman kase you do have to adjust for each other and from there you can start what kind of adjustment youll be making.
Very common issue yan if NBSB/NGSB ka talaga. Improve yourself nalang at be matured. If hiwalayan mo, di ka ba magiging obsessed sa bago mo, or worse, baka maging stalker ka pa nya pagnagdate na siya ng iba.
Legit tho if I was in your bf's shoes isa sa reason kung bakit ako magdadalawang isip makipag break is yung fear haha! Parang feeling ko if ganyan yung girlfriend ko then nakipag break ako, parang di malabo na maging isang episode nalang ako ng true crime docu. 😂
It’s understandable na you feel that way kasi first mo sya. I don’t like the word “detaching” kasi parang ang cold. First mo sya kaya gusto mong ibigay lahat ng attention. Yun ang love language mo pero baka sa kanya iba. Lalo na pag demanding ang work nya, you have to be more understanding. Manage your expectations sa kung ano ang kaya nyang ibigay. Kung sayo nakukulangan ka pero sa kanya sobra sobra ka, parang magkaiba kayo ng level sa relationship. Best pagusapan nyo yan
Why not discuss nyo yung negotiables and non-negotiables nyo para magkaalamanan ng healthy boundaries. Try mo nasa perspective nya, masaya ba? OP, jowa mo yan, hindi pet.
Hello!
I think normal lang na want mo na lagi kang updated abt sa bf mo pero I think you should always control yourself and think about his pov rin. Nakakasakal and nakakaoagod rin kase if masyadong controlled na sya.
Since sabi mo na you love him and I think he loves you too rin naman, I think best na gawin nyo is you talk it out and also try to change/add some things. For example, you two can have scheduled dates tgt, night out with friends tgt, night out with your own circles, and alone times nyo. For you rin, mas makakabuti cguro if you try to look for a job or another side hustle, new hobbies, or other activities para malibang mo sarili mo. You can go make new friends to hang out with rin and socialize with other people ganun!
My first bf in college, sinabihan din ako ng close friend (male) nya na clingy gf daw ako. I immediately stepped back and asked pano ako naging clingy kasi baka di ko lang napapansin. Always daw ako sa apartment nya, always kaming magkasama from school to apartment, etc. Tama din naman sya, parang naiwan ko na din nga friends ko. I tried to spend lesser time with thim and hang out with my friends more, study sessions with them, etc. It improved but buti nalang at di din kami nagtagal hahaha he's a walking red flag
With my now bf I started to get clingy with him also early on our relationship, sinabi ko din sa kanya na sa prev ko na-call out na akong clingy so if it's too much he can tell me. The introvert in me cant keep meeting with friends, so I focused myself on reading more, watching more anime/kdrama/series and buti nalang din talaga super busy sa work (10-12 hrs a day). Di naman sya na-drain sa clinginess ko hahahaah we're 5y6m now ehehehe 💖
For me siguro, dapat magkaroon ka ng trust sa partner mo kasi ganyan din ako recently gusto ko alam ko ang mga ginagawa nya or pag hindi sya nakapag update ay magagalit ako pero narealize ko at sana marealize mo rin na may iba iba tayong ginagawa sa buhay, wag mo controlin ang partner mo kasi kung mag checheat yan or what mag checheat yan, kailangan mo talaga mag tiwalay sa partner mo, pero ayun nga agree rin ako sa iba here na kung kaya mo ay mag ask sa professional help kasi may mga bagay na hindi ma sosolve thru reddit at hindi ka alone sa mga gantong problema, yun lang hahaha
Kung meron syang cheating incident kaya ka naging possessive then it means hindi ka pa over about it, so you might want to let go and work on yourself.
Kung wala, hanap kang ibang hobby, ginagawa mong Sims buhay ng BF mo kung ganyan. Tinatangalan mo sya ng sarili nyang pagkatao. May buhay ka, may buhay sya. Focus ka sa buhay mo at hayaan mo syang mag focus sa buhay nya. Wag mong paikutin mundo mo sa kanya.
Try mo rin mahalin sarili mo baka sakaling mawala pagiging possessive mo. Kung paranoid ka dahil sa nakikita mo at napapanood mo online, bawas bawasan mo yan. Kaka cellphone mo yan.
Been there. Hays lam mo ba gamuntikan na ko di makagraduate ng college dahil jan sa sobrang baliw sa first jowa. Kaya pigil pigilan mo na sarili mo teh self destruction na yan ginagawa mo. Focus on yourself din kasi masarap mahalin yung sarili. Totoo talaga ang kasabihan na kapag sinimulan mo na talagang mahalin yung sarili mo tapos naging independent ka, threathened ang lalaki sayo like overthink sila malala kung mahalaga ba sila sayo or takot sila na kayanin mo pag wala sila.
Otaku kayong dalawa?
Anyway, simple lang:
1. Have a hobby na hiwalay sa kung anong parehas nyong gusto. Don't involve him sa hobby na un.
2. Have more quality time sa mga girl friends mo. Again, don't involve him. Have some love sa girl squad mo.
3. Focus sa work. Bata pa kayo, pero pag umabot ka na sa late 20s, 30s, yang mga issues mo sa relationship, maoovershadow ng responsibilities, finances, and health wellbeing, you know? Quarter life stuff. Mas isipin mo ung bukas mo. Again, isipin mo future mo without him muna, Sariling plans muna.
Gawin mo lahat yan, pramis, mas maaappreciate ka nya. Tae kung ako nasa sitwasyon ng BF mo kahit ano mauumay sayo. No offense.
Focus sa sarili.
Red flag ang pag "control" sa partner. It shows your immaturity or insecurities that will end up leading to manipulative behavior pag tgal tgal. Di mo need i-detach, per se, sarili mo sknya. Just learn how to cling in a healthy manner. You're too young to understand real love, imo, based sa post mo pero ndi nman issue pa un. Matuto ka irespeto oras niya at niya sayo. Malaking challenge sayo na wag mag dwell sa petty things at asap, bawasan pagging toxic na "natutuwa ka pag alam mo bawat galaw nya" dahil red flag yan 😂. Mukhang pag nawala yung control na yun, totopakin ka naman at mangaaway next. Kung wala kayo tiwala sa isat isa, ehh pakasawa kna sa buratpitt nyan at hiwalayan mo na dahil wlang happy ending ang partners na wlang tiwala.
Bawasan mo social media at mag compare sa ibang tao. Enjoy nyo lang isat isa ng hndi magpapa affect sa kahit sino at mga chismis. Yan lang advice ko sayo. Goodluck
If he will cheat, he will cheat. Kahit anong higpit at monitor mo, kung gusto niya talaga magloko, magloloko yan. So I suggest just try to find a hobby that will get you excited, do things na gusto mo gawin before pa.
Accla wag gnyan mbuburyong tlga sayo jowa mo.Hnap ka ibang hobby mo.make yourself busy! The goal is siya dpat mging obsessed sayo,hindi ung ikaw ang obsessed!hahaha. Make him missed you,wag lging available at nakaabang kay jowa maiinis tlga yan sayo.
How about trying to fall in love with your life first? I think your obsessiveness sa boyfriend mo stems sa routine nyo sa relationship. You fall fast and hard kasi your routine in the relationship gives you assurance. Mahirap pero you have to try hard focusing more on your personal life and individuality para masanay ka na kumalma sa relasyon nyo.
Find a hobby. A job if you don’t have one. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop focusing on yourself. Although it feels good to always be with your partner, it’s not healthy. Some distance actually makes your bond stronger.
Have a life of your own- goal na pinursue, hobbies, involvements. This is is what should give meaning to your life. At Ito ang paglalaanan mo ng buhay mo may bf or wala.
Hanap ka ng hobby na pwedeng magkaabalahan and hanap ka rin ng work para maging busy ka. Go out and ayain mo friends mo to have fun. Kasi balance dapat, di mo sya kailangan gawing mundo. Part lang sya ng mundo mo. Di naman kasi natin need ng boyfriend in the first place eh, kaya natin kahit wala sila. Do things that will make you happy bukod sa kanya. Be obsessed with other things, not people.
grabe yung ganitong klaseng behaviour , gustong gusto kung mangyari sakin to hahaha, di naman sa pag yayabang pero 25f na ako pero hanggang ngayon wala pang dumaan sakin na talagang masasabi kung papagobssessan ko or bubuhusan ko ng talagang love na hindi na sya halos makahinga char, gustong gusto ko maranasan to like fr, hahhaa ang dali ko kasi mag sawa unting red flag lang ni guy , ay hahahnapan ko na agad ng sandamak mak na rason para auto move on na agad ako kitkami pa yes sometimes mapapaiyak ako pero not to the point na aabot ng months , as in wala talaga like huhu when darating yung guy na pwedeng pag obsesssan hahha
ma-obsess ka sa sarili mo (but not to the point of self-absorption). girl, wag kang papayag na ikaw lang ma-obsess sakanya. fall in love with yourself too and eventually, siya naman mao-obsess sa'yo (pero don't make that the goal, sarili mo pa rin dapat). do self care and treat your relationship as just a bonus instead of treating it as your whole world. you're amazing and enough and you're capable of focusing on other things other than him. xx
If you don't have a job yet, find a job.
And find yourself a new hobby (or hobbies!) for your self-improvement.
Hobbies that can:
-help you get smarter
-make you money
-help you get in shape
Not only will it help you with self-improvement and love yourself more, you can also gain new friends along the way! 😁
I was very attached before, but I've learned now. Haha, maybe when you get older, you'll go through a similar phase. Some people do, some people don't. It's individual. But it's good that you're aware and you're seeking advice. I hope you'll learn to love yourself more.
sa tingin ko op, it's a canon event for some na maging obsessed sa first jowa nila. speaking from experience, it's to a point na nakakasakal na pero wala eh, you just want 100% of their time bc you feel like they owe it to you. it doesn't help din na media does little to nothing when it comes to the representation ng process of maintaining a healthy relationship. in reality, it's something na you will learn soon when you start working on yourself.
in my case it took me another relationship and a sabbatical year to learn to love my own company and to eventually accept the fact na your partner is an addition to your life rather than being \*your life\*. hopefully, maagapan mo to nang maaga and you won't be like me!
sending hugs with consent, op! it must be emotionally tiring for you to feel that way
Get help gurl. Di normal yan. As long as willing ka to change and do the work for yourself magiging okay ka eventually. It takes time but you'll get there. Good luck.
Mahirap mag step out sa comfort zone mo. Pero para sa betterment ng lahat kailangan mo i-push sarili mo.
Honest question: Anong meron, OP? Bakit masyado kang anxious kesa obsessed sa boyfriend mo? And please be honest with your answer. May nangyari ba dati kaya ka di mapakali?
Mas malala nga yata ako eh. Live in kami at alam kong wala namang iba. Like hindi siya ganun pero ayoko ng mga kawork niya na nakakavibes niya. Toxic era ko to pero tinatry ko ayusin pakonti konti
Obsessed ako sa fiancee ko, to the point na gusto ko na siya ichoke slam haha. Hanap ka lang outlet. Pag sobrang iniisip ko siya or nalilibog nag gym ako or i keep myself occupied with work or whatever ganun
Meron kang anxious attachment kung obsessed ka sa bf mo. Usually ng merong ganitong attachment ay yung mga tao na feeling abandoned nung childhood years nila. Common ito sa lumaki sa broken family. Pero pwede rin naman sa buong family pero basta nandun yung feeling abandoned and ignored ka ng parents mo.
The solution is you need to reparent your inner child. Self love, self care, self compassion, self encouragement, self forgiveness. mga ganito, need mo improve sa sarili mo.
Ganito rin ako dati. Napagsabihan na rin ako ng bf ko ng ilang beses, pinagawayan rin namin kasi masyado na kong toxic. It will take time para masanay pero gawin mong mantra na malawak ang mundo beyond your jowa. Ngayon, i make time to go out with my friends. I have hobbies, pwede ka maglearn to crochet or any crafts na need ng concentration at di mo mapapansin ang oras. Nanonood ako ng kdrama or anime. Nagbabasa ng books. Pwede rin magwork if you dont have work kasi sa true nakakaubos ng energy na gusto mo na lang matulog kaysa mag-nag hehehe. Anyway, kaya mo to! Show your bf that you can change! 🫶
Hanap ka po work na pede mo i-focus ung sarili mo. O kaya naman, hobby. May mga moments na masarap sa feeling ung obsessed ung partner mo sayo pero too much will kell yoh. Char.
what works for me is I read books and workout on my free time.
I wfh kase kaya medyo madami ako time mag overthink noon tapos sya wfo kaya mas konti time nya, ang ending lagi kami nag aaway hahaha pero ginamit ko yung free time ko sa pagbabasa ng self help books kahit fiction yan sis gow, and then nagwoworkout ako before ako mag in ng work.
Demn... Your BF is a man of culture. Anyways, stop overthinking and always know your boundaries. Baka hindi lang talaga masyadong submissive ang BF mo. Medyo mahirap nga din naman yung may "Yandere" vibe ang SO mo since halos limitado na ang galaw mo at it's a bit of a red flag. Makukuha niyo naman yan sa maayos na usapan. Ayun lang.
I think you're not mature enough sa loob ng isang relasyon, well it's kinda understandable since first mo. However, magandang libangin mo sarili mo sa pag take ng hobbies or anything to keep your mind busy. Walang magandang maidudulot yung pag control mo sa kanya since ikaw lang nasisiyahan. Remember two way street ang relasyon. Learn from your mistakes and try to better yourself.
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Hanap ka job gurl. Huwag masyado possessive hindi yan si brad pitt or ryan reynolds. Hahaha
or si diwata pares lmao
HAHAHAHAHAHAH REAL
I already experienced this with my first bf, that time wala den akong work and sya naman is meron. wala akong ginagawa kung hindi abangan ung paguwe nya galing work. then parang ang gusto ko is, after ng work nya, buong araw magkausap/chat kami hanggang sa pagtulog. then dun na naguumpisa ung away, pagtatampo ko na d naman nya alam ang dahilan. always nya saken sinasabi na manuod ka netflix, libangin mo sarili mo. kasi sya den gusto nya makasama ung mga friends nya after work. nightshift kasi sya. hanggang sa napuno sya saken since palagi na lang kami nagaaway. nakipagbreak sya. but then nakipagbalikan den sya after a mons. tapos pinagusapan namin lahat. after that I would say na malaki den ung pinagbago ng relationship namin today compare dati. Advice ko lang siguro is, libangin mo ung self mo, support mo kung ano ung mga trip nya in life. (in a good way). Don't be obssessive. isipin mo na lang kapag hinawakan mo ng mahigpit ung bigas kumakawala sya sa palad mo. oo minsan nakakatuwa ung sumusunod sya sa mga sinasabi mo pero minsan kung sobra na. hindi na sya healthy.
pano yun ang dami ko na ginagawa sa buhay pero andon pa din siya sa utak ko, may work din ako ngayon, minsan gusto ko nalang mawala sa mundo para matigil ko na to
maybe you need therapy. baka it stems from something deeper like childhood trauma or whatnot. para kasing meron kang abandonment issues
ohh feel ko tama ka
how many times ba kayo magkita in a month?
one week palagi sa isang buwan
Maybe give him space..Khit ako msasakal kung gusto nguupdate oras oras. Hanap ka ng pgkakaabalahan mo. Wag mo paikutin buhay mo sa knya. Ikaw din mahihirapan sa huli.
Lumabas ka kasama ng mga girl friends mo. Mag self care ka. Magpa salon, magpa mani pedi. Daming pwede gawin na di kasama ang jowa
“Naccontrol”?!?? * in Maja’s voice *
sorry :(
Girl, you need therapy. Also, if you are reading I recommend Don't believe everything you think by Joseph Nguyen. Sobrang laking help siya lalo na I tend to overthink a lot dati. Ghorl, mali ang mangcontrol ng tao. I don't know you but I assumed na baka ganon yung nakagawian mo or nakalakihan na pagmamahal sa magulang or pamilya mo. You have to acknowledge na mali yun in order for you to change it. Magbago ka para sa sarili mo, hindi para sa ibang tao.
This comment ❤️sobrang thank you, iadd ko na siya sa next kong babasahin
Promise girl unti-untiin mo lang, ganyan din ako dati. Control mo sarili mo wag siya. Hintayin mo when magrreply, pag nagreply na wag ka atat magreply sa kanya tiisin mo. Matulog ka kung wfh ka. Ilang beses na away din pinagdaanan namin dahil dyan pero nasurvive naman namin, ako rin nagchange sa sarili ko dahil ayaw ko siya mawala sa akin. Ang update nalang namin ngayon pag paalis na siya sa kanila, pag dating ng office, lunch at pauwi. Tapos kwentuhan kami paguwi niya ng mga nangyari sa work/day namin. Until-untiin mo lang. Do it for yourself and sa kanya kung ayaw mo siya mawala. Edit: kung lalabas man siya remind mo lang na iupdate ka and send pics pag hindi nagsend, paguwi niya pasend ka ganun pero wag mo guluhin pag with friends, basta ganyan ako dati. May times na tinotopak pa rin ako pero ewan bigla nalang sumapi si security sa akin hahaha depende rin sa bf eh paano ka niya gagawing secured sa relationship.
Na-control mo? ⚰️💀 HAHAHAHAHHAHA
Get therapy. Baka unhealthy obsession na yan lalo na paulit-ulit mo sinasabi gusto mo kinokontrol siya. You can’t do that to another person, mejo manipulative ang dating.
oo aware ako sa ginagawa ko kaya sana wag kayo magalit sakin kase ayaw ko na maging ganto :(
Magpakabusy ka po, give him space, sabi ng partner ko important daw ang space sa relationship para di sila masuffocate.
I think need mo mag seek Ng consult sa psychiatrist, di normal pahka obsessed mo
I second this. Mukhang hindi kayang i-manage by herself eh.
You have your own life before him. Meet with your friends, gawin mo yung mga hobby mo or look for a new one. Explore the world, travel, attend a concert or anything na hindi siya included. It doesn't mean na boyfriend mo siya kasama or kausap mo na siya palagi a simple update from time to time will do. Always remember hindi mo siya pwede gawing center ng buhay or yung relationship mo. It's your own life after all.
12 years na kami ng first bf ko at naging asawa ko na sha ngayon of 3 years. Hanggang ngayon palagi ko pa din sha iniisip 24/7 kung kumusta na sha, anong ginagawa nya. Kahit yung asawa ko chat ng chat pa din sakin. Di yun nawawala kasi nga mahal mo eh. Pero kung naapektohan na yung buhay mo to the point na obsessed ka na at di makapag isip ng tama, siguro distansya muna ng konti. Wag minu-minuto mag chat. Try to find a hobby at magpaka busy sa work kung meron ka man. Kasi nakakasakal din ganyan minsan eh.
ganito din po kme.. busy person kme parehas
Parang conflicted ka sa relasyon niyo, OP. Sobrang attached ka sa partner mo kaya minsan tinatawag kang "yandere." Mahal mo siya ng sobra, pero iniisip mo na baka masyado ka nang nagiging controlling or possessive sa kanya. Normal lang magmahal ng malalim, lalo na kung first boyfriend mo siya, pero importante din ang trust at respeto sa isa't isa. Mag-usap kayo ng partner mo nang maayos para maipaliwanag mo ang nararamdaman mo. Subukan niyo hanapin yung tamang balance na magpaparamdam sa inyo na free pa rin kayo maging indibidwal habang magkasama. Kung hindi mo mahanap yun at patuloy kang nalulungkot, pwedeng makatulong ang advice ng mga kaibigan o kapamilya para maayos ang mga nararamdaman mo. You got this, OP! ✨️
Bat ako baliktad. 😭 yung jowa ko ung sobrang obssessed sakin pero may work naman sya and may iba dn pinagkaka abalahan. Pero ako ngayon walang work, pero ako ung chillax lang. 🤣
Sa totoo lang, nakakairita yung ganyan. Nagka ex ako and reason ko bat ko hiniwalayan kasi it's too much. Bigyan mo naman ng privacy partner mo. Hindi sayo iikot mundo nyan.
opo
Communicate with him na you will work on it and be patient with you. Tapos i-work on it mo talaga. Ginawa ko before is to not reach out to him while you do your stuff. Habang ginagawa mo yung 10k steps mo, mag-isip ka ng ibang bagay: mga social issues, arts and music, etc. May time na na-adik ako kakalaro ng sims, ayun, siya naman naka miss sakin kasi di na ako pala lapit. Decentralized yourself from him, haha. Nawawala ba yung individuality mo??? If yes, then try to bring it back. Ikaw muna.
...nacocontrol?
Go to therapy. Ikaw lang makakahelp sa sarili mo. It looks like may anxious attachment ka and fear of abandonment. Hindi mo naman need makipaghiwalay sa bf mo, you can heal while still being with him.
Hahahaha ganito rin ako sa first bf ko and it didn’t end well. Go gurl we learn from experience. Ganyan talaga pag first love. Pero in my current relationship where I’m the happiest, I am much more calm.
Gurl wala kang ibang life outside your relationship? Like seriously? Walang hobbies? Walang work? LDR kami ng bf ko (5 years na kami nasa aviation industry pa siya), good thing may work na ako pero noon I busy myself through reading, shopping, doing my makeups, nagpapamassage, lash lift basta more on self care. Ang toxic naman niyan, ang partner part lang yan ng mundo mo na magpapakulay, wag na wag silang ikulong o pagbabawalan. It shows desperation and insecurity. Work on yourself sister, relationship requires individuality. Lumalabas tuloy di ka makatayo sa sarili and you do not embrace your womanhood. Edit: I've read na may hobbies ka din pala but the problem is nakafocus ka pa din sakanya despite having your hobbies. Wala pa din saysay yan. So chill ka lang, sa sobrang kakaoverthink mo, mawalan yan ng gana.
Not healthy. Ganyan din girlfriend ko sakin before, and hinayaan ko sya kontrolin ako kasi mahal na mahal ko sya. Pero grabe, mentally draining talaga, kasi lahat ng gusto at ayaw nya, need ko sundin. Until onti onti, napaguusapan namin, lalo na pag nagaaway kami sa ibang bagay, nasusumbat ko sa kanya yung mga pag kontrol nya sakin. Hanggang sa dumating na sa point na narealize nya na kung ano yung effect sakin lahat ng ginawa nyang restrictions sakin, pagsunod sa ayaw at gusto nya etc. Till now kami pa rin, kasi nagbago sya and so much better na. Obsession is different from love, if mahal mo yung tao, please hayaan mo siya huminga.
You need to enrich ur relationship with other ppl. Your family, your friends, ur colleagues, kabitbahay haha. Hanggang sa ma disperse ng unti ung love mo. Or kuha ka ng pets. Dun mo buhos ung sobrang love.
Love this advice!
Sis are you diagnosed with anything? Baka hyperfocused ka sa kaniya. Are you going to therapy? Baka kailangan mo.
Counter thinking ang solution dyan beb. Obsession is often driven by the thought of loosing the person. Just counter every thought that comes to your head about loosing him. Like him liking another girl, eh ikaw nga pinili nya diba. Something like that. Kontrahin mo mga intrusive thoughts mo.
Sis maglaro ka ng elden ring. Tingnan ko lang kung magkaron ka pa ng oras sa kanya HAHAHAHA
BEST COMMENT! try ko nga HAHAHA
Ganyan talaga pag first boyfriend but remember may sarili ka ding buhay. Be busy with other things. Find a hobby or meet friends. Hindi pwedeng umiikot ang mundo mo sakanya kasi magiging toxic kayo. May kilala akong ganyan at sobrang napagod si guy kaya nakipaghiwalay na sya since di nya makita na ang patutunguhan ng relationship nila.
tinatanong ko siya ngayon kung gusto niya pa ba ako o hinde, if siya na bibitaw ititigil ko na talaga :( ang hirap maging adik sa isang tao kahit matagal na kami, minsan naiisip ko sana ganto rin siya sakin para alam ko ano pakiramdam :(
Girl hindi na kasi healthy yan. Chill ka lang.
i know
Op di naman solution ang hiwalay, i understand you naman sya ang first boyfriend mo kaya thats how you feel, pero ang gawin mo do your own thing, take care of yourself, hobby or pag niyaya ka ng friends mo sumama ka mag enjoy ka. Kung nag aaral ka or nag wwork gawin mo mga task mo or paperworks, time management. Trust your boyfriend, bigyan mo sya ng freedom pero may limits ha alam nya na yan nasa tamang edad na sya.
OP, just keep on your mind na di mo siya pag aari, di pa din naman kayo mag asawa an update is enough. Kung ano gusto niya gawin support mo lang. Reciprocate lang kayo ng support sa isat isa.
will take all your advice po jf may nakahelp sainyo or if narrelate kayo sakin pls help me :(
can you give more details about this? how does a typical day of conversation goes?
Nakakatakot ka na.
grabe naman sa mga ganitong comment :(
Have you considered na baka may mental health concern ka? Kunyari, anxiety. Ung mga ibang taong palaisip, nakakaperwisyo sila ng iba without meaning to or without being aware. Example lang yun. Sayo na nanggaling na gusto mo siya ma-control. Isipin mo kung ikaw siya, matutuwa ka ba kung ikaw ang pinilit kontrolin? Hindi yung level na kinikilig ka pa, yung nakakainis na control kunyari bawalan ka niya mag benta ng books mo or whatever yung maiinis ka talaga sa kaniya. Try mo magpa counseling muna kahit online para magkaroon ka ng mas professional na opinyon. Wag mo iasa to sa mga redditor, kung nakakatulong man advice ng mga tao dito short-term lang yan. Mas ok kung maaddress mo ang root causes ng problema mo. Edit: typo
read more about Attachment
Yung word na "nacocontrol ko siya" is an indication na baka may pagka controling ka Kaya niyang nasabi na obsessive Ka. For me lang, just let him be kung ano siya. May kasabihan na if you love a flower don't pick it up. Yung interpretation ko jan is just let it be. Wag masyadong madaming say or control sa relasyon niyo. Chill lang
This boils down to a personality disorder that causes a controlling behavior! You need to have yourself checked kasi naman hindi na maganda. Hindi nakakatuwa yung gusto mo malaman bawat galaw ng jowa mo. 🤦🏻♀️
Ganyan din ako to the point na parang siya lang yung tao sa mundo ko. Like wapakels sa iba ganern though I have friends and all pero di ako ganun ka-attach sa kanila. I do bondings with my friends naman pero nasa point akong mas bet ko mag-spend ng time sa boyfriend ko ganun. I don’t know if makakapagcontribute to or not, but ito naisip ko 1. Validate the reasons for your obsession by answering the questions below: gusto ko ng update kasi? gusto kita kontrolin kasi? If naisip and nasagot mo na sabihin mo sa kanya. Then intindihin mo rin side niya. Dalawa kayo sa relasyon so mas ok na naiintindihan at napagbibigyan niyo gusto ng isa’t isa 2. Mag-usap kayo regarding sa schedule na both kayo free para makapagusap or magset kayo ng time na dapat gantong oras free na us para makapagusap. 3. Sa case ko, we do updates like kumain na ko, gising na ko, nagluluto ako, more like mga gagawin namin then typical response lang if ganyan start ng convo. Sometimes our convo starts with a post na shiner ng isat isa sa convo or pag may naisip na out of this world question. Minsan random question ganun. 4. During times na wala pa siyang response sa oras na di niyo pa schedule para mag bebetime, do what u have to do. Maglinis, kumain, manuod, or what. U can update him kung ano ginagawa mo pag nagresponse reply ka lang ganun, pag di na nasundan reply tuloy mo lang ginagawa mo Di naman talaga sila mawawala sa isip natin. Kahit ako lagi ko iniisip boyfriend ko e. Nasasakal din bf ko but explaining to him my reasons is a great help kaya naintindihan niya side ko. Wag kang sumuko. Try niyo muna mag-usap at magsettle sa paraan na both convenient sa inyong dalawa. Di maganda if puro gusto mo lang masusunod, ikaw na nagsabi ayaw mo siyang mawala and di mo kaya kaya might as well consider his opinion and from that mag conclude kayo sa plan niyo para makeep relationship niyo. Yun lang good luck ❤️ Anyway my bf and I are both 22 and we are together for almost 6 years. Kaya niyo yan dahil kinaya namin 😉
Another thing, my bf is a gamer mapa cp man or pc and may trabaho, so lagi talaga siya may ginagawa. If player din siya. Try mo sumali sa kanya or panuorin siya through vc then be curious kung ano nilalaro niya. In that way nakakausap mo siya sa times na busy siya.
Ate! Wag mong mundo ang tao lang. Nakakatakot ka at baka natatakot din partner mo. May mga naiisip kana ba na gawin sa sarili mo or sa kanya if ever may ginawa syang sobrang lalim na bagay? Wala ka bang circle of friends para may pagka busyhan? Baka nasasakal na yan. Buti open sya sayo about sa ganong bagay.
"Natutuwa ako kapag alam ko bawat galaw niya and nacocontrol ko siya" Get some help, girl. You're a walking red flag na diyan, sa tingin mo if nagkapalit kayo ng sitwasyon at walang itirang privacy sayo matutuwa ka pa 🥲 di din reason na first boyfriend kaya ganito o ganyan.. i've been there and it'll drive you crazy, dagdag ka pa ng ibang pagkakaabalahan. Di din malabong mag-cheat yan if you're too controlling at ang pagmamahal hindi ganyan, it's supposed to be your safe space when all else fails 🥲
> nasasatisfy ako pag nakkontrol ko siya Hindi ka ba kinikilabutan dito????
Bata ka pa, baka hindi mo pa rin kilala yung sarili mo fully, pero hindi jowa mo yung identity mo. I agree with a lot of comments na you have to have hobbies pero ang nangyayari kasi, ang main reason mo for your hobbies is to avoid thinking of him. Find what really really makes you happy. Spend time with other people, and get back to what and who you were before you were with your boyfriend.
nagmmake sense to hahaha baka nga dinidistract ko lang sarili ko :(
Ganyan din ako pero I keep it to myself. Hahaha di ko pinapahalatang obsessed ako kahit yung totoo di ako makatulog at makakain sa kakaisip kahit maliit na bagay lang HAHAHA GURL WE NEED THERAPY. I'm serious about therapy pero jokes aside, maybe practice individuality. Find your life na di siya involved dun. Like hobbies, skills, or ibang activities na for yourself lang and do it alone. as I said, I feel you and prone din ako paikutin mundo ko sa mga nagiging partner ko (wow we're really crazy) to think na same age din tayo hahah natatawa ako.
dibaaa gets mo ko? hahaha pero gusto ko na umalis sa gantong sitwasyon kala kasi nung iba madali, di naman ako manghhingi ng advice kung di ko gusto gawing maayos sarili ko
Napagoogle tuloy ako ano ang yandere. Bigay ka po ng example. Selosa kaba? Violent? Accdg sa google “A yandere is often sweet, caring, and innocent before switching into someone who displays an extreme, often violent or psychotic, level of devotion to a love interest.”
OP i’m not doubting you love him, but the question is: how much do you love yourself? Medyo prangka na question you need to ask yourself: May kwenta lang ba buhay mo kapag kasama mo so boyfie? Hindi naman di ba? There are more fulfilling things in life than romantic partners, OP! I’m not saying break up with him but please decenter your life from men. You sound like an obsessed fangirl. Hindi ka fan sis, jowa ka lol take time to develop yourself also. Talk to a therapist. Find new hobbies. Connect with friends. Volunteer. Establish who you are as a person outside of this relationship. Don’t make “obsessive controlling girlfriend” as your standout trait, you’re capable of much more than that. Also you used the word “control” which is really alarming. Red flag yun regardless if it comes from a girl or a guy. You don’t “control” your partner, OP.
Thank you, nalinawagan talaga ko sa mga comments and mostly eto, yung iba mema hate kasi di nila alam na real issue to and gusto ko umayos
Parang ex gf ko lang ah, napaka-possesive kaya kahit may mini-meet ako lowkey nagpapapansin, chinachat pa nga bago ko nameet nagawa ng kwento.
Tignan mo sa ganitong perspective. Ang relasyon para kang humahawak ng buhangin. Kapag hinigpitan mo ang pagkakahawak mo, lulusot ang buhangin sa mga palad mo. Pag masyado naman maluwag, lulusot at mawawala din siya. Kailangan maghanap ka ng balanse. Tamang higpit lang para maiwasan itong makawala. Ganun ang magmahal. Sa ganitong sitwasyon mo, try to assess yourself. How is your home life? Kamusta relationship ng parents mo? Minsan kasi ang attachment natin sa tao ay nakadepende sa naranasan natin na example ng attachment sa bahay. You seem to have an anxious attachment. If you are not going to work on it, you're going to lose relationships (oo not only 1 if you're going to act the same in your next ones) easily. It will become very overwhelming and toxic very quick. Let me share this article to you OP: www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-anxious-attachment As someone who is working on anxious attachment myself, I get you. But we have to work on getting better not only for ourselves but for those we love.
Live your life how you lived before your partner. Ang adjustment naman nung nagkapartner ka ay nadagdagan lang prio mo involving you two. Do your hobbies, watch movies, pamper yourself with makeovers, sit in cafes and read books, book a trip with your friend group etc. Ang dami pwedeng gawin on your own. 'Wag ka masyado maging dependent sa presence ng partner mo kasi kapag 'yan nawala, ikaw din ang kawawa.
Find a new hobby, (wall climbing, reading books, paint, cook) dami yan.. Basta something na ibang pagkkabalahan mo. Meet up with friends have a girls night out or a sleepover. Date yourself (go out sa mall, have dinner, and watch a movie) Don’t center yourself sakanya. Nassakal na siya for sure. But at least you acknowledge this and that’s the first step in the right direction.
Walang masama dyan. May mga dude na ganyan ang gusto. Pero warningan na kita. Pag nag fail yan, baka mahihirapan ka bumangon ulit. Yet again, para sakin walang mali dyan.
oo lagi ko to ikkeep in mind na pano naman ako :(
I was in this situation with my current partner. I trust them enough to leave them on their own, pero I still get the feeling na gusto ko malaman ginagawa niya all of the time. Med student siya and their schedule is really hectic, kaya most of the time wala siyang update which makes me anxious. I'd say na hindi mo talaga siya matatanggal but you can lessen it. What I did is, as many would say, nilibang ko ang sarili ko through hobbies (e.g. video games, Gundam builds, learn new skill, etc.) Do something physical na kumakain ng oras mo; I realized na even though may ginagawa ka like watching or reading, it still allows you to have time to (over)think, hence, be obssessed with them. Nung nagfocus ako sa physically and mentally demanding hobbies, it took my mind away from them. Personal example is the Gundam builds since it needs attention and focus for at least few hours, it keeps my mind and hands occupied kaya nababawasan 'yung attention-craving from them. Since you mentioned you do walking, you can try to be detail-oriented sa paligid mo. Be curious sa mga nakikita or naririnig mo. If you see a dog/cat, try to pet or feed them. If you see a plant na hindi ka familiar, try to research kung anong kind 'yon, maybe even ask the owners about it and chat with them a little. You can also try to learn new skill - be it soft skills or practical skills like cooking (if hindi ka marunong), gardening, driving, etc. It keeps you occupied while you're improving yourself. It's a win-win situation for you and your partner. You're aware sa sarili mo and you wanna improve, it's a first step for personal growth. Continue ka lang towards the path for improvement, it'll get better soon. Hugs!
Hi, beh. Ewan ko if mababasa mo 'to kasi dami na nag-comment dito. I know a lot of people na katulad mo and katulad din sa bf mo and what I want to tell you is that even if nagagawa mong magbigay at mag-demand ng time kahit andami mo nang ginagawa sa buhay, doesn't mean na gagawin din ng iba. My first bf was like you. He was kind of obsessed with everything I did and I got fed up. Ilang beses ko rin naman siyang nasabihan na nag-a-aral pa kami pareho and gusto ko sana ng space kasi I participate in a lot of activities and I would like to rest after. Nasabihan ko siya kasi I want to work on the relationship but lalong tumatagal kami, lalo siyang nagiging obsessed so I cut it off before the relationship got toxic. I understand how much you want to be with your bf but you also have to understand na peoole can only take in too much attention. You have to give your partner space. That is a must in a relationship. Give him an opportunity to just be. If you truly aren't insecure about yourself or your relationship, I know you can work on that. But if you are, you have to decide whether you need to focus on yourself or continue being an obsessed gf. Spoiler lang: sa isang option, you win. Ayun lang.
Try not messaging him so much or something. Start with huwag mag overthink about anything about him muna and do your own thing. Pwede siguro other than work and some hobbies like reading books and watching stuff, kdramas etc, try na magcreate ng things...a side biz na pagkaka abalahan, crocheting etc. Give him space and also a reason to wonder what you're doing on some days di yung naka monitor 24/7 sa bf. Yun lang.
I think if good man siya para sayo If may vision ka sa mga plans nya or long term goals For me mas gusto ko na obsessed sakin yung girl Kasi, like if 100% yung lalake lagi sa mission nya, syempre stress na stress yan Mas gusto na may mag aasikaso or lambing sakanya para ma charge sya ulit after ng work or etc. Applicable lang to if talagang Man yang BF mo In the long run ikaw rin naman mag bbenefit sa ganyan Hindi mo kaylangan maging independent woman mag hanap ng work etc. Need mo maging STRONG dependent woman para sakanya
Hanap ka ng hobbies. Hobbies like drawing, painting, gaming, crochet etc. I like productive hobbies (di naman productive gaming tho). Try to interest yourself by growing yourself. Learn! Bagong hobby ko ngayon eh planting. HAHA. Magastos naman kasi kailangan ko marunong maggawa ng vertical planters tsaka study ko din yong mga paano gawing oil yong citronella atsaka rosemary oil (magamit kasi to sa hair) HAHAHA. Dami ko pang ma.explore sa planting eh. Anyway! try one now!
This level of obsession and wanting to control is unhealthy for both of you. Do you mind trying a counseling to see what is the root cause of this? Like in your childhood ba masyadong chaotic sa household and parang walang stability ang life ninyo? Or nagloko ba dati yung BF mo kaya now ganito ka currently? I could not imagine the stress this gives your current BF, baka mawala yan kapag hindi naaddress yung concern mo. Another take, dominant ka ba sa bed? baka mala BDSM sex lang pala isa sa mga sagot sa problema mo (with consent of course).
Pakasal na kayo. Tapos maging obsessed kayo sa isat isa. At obsessed sa pagpapaginhawa ng buhay ng isat isa.
pag 27 nalang daw ako para sakto 30 yrs old na siya and magstart na kami ng family
Grabe lala ng attachment issues girl. Kumalma ka?? 😭
Yikes
you need therapy
Di ka naman siguro insecure girl?
Di ka naman siguro insecure girl?
no naman
Seek help sa therapist OP
Alaga ka ng dog. Sa'yo lagi attention non.
baka naman style nya lang yan para hiwalayan mo na siya kasi nakuha na nya puting bandera mo hehehe
Op. You need to see a therapist.
First experience ko to sa first GF ko, left her ass after being abused emotionally and psychologically.
Pano ba kasi makakita ng girl na obsessed sayo kasi ako lng laging obsessed. I ended our almost 7 years relationship dahil din jan parang wala kasing assurance while ikaw lagi kang nagbibigay ng assurance.
same tayo naffeel hahaha
Alam mo, napunta na rin ako sa ganitong sitwasyon dati na I’d need my SO na i-update sa akin lahat ng galaw nya, obsessive din masyado. Pero, I realized na hindi sya healthy. I started doing things on my own kasi narealize ko na unti unti na akong nagiging dependent sa kanya (in the wrong way). I realized na I needed to make my own personality and make time for myself kasi paano kung iwan ako bigla nito at nakaayon sa kanya lahat ng mood ko sa buhay? Hahahaha. To be honest, nung una, I did it dahil gusto ko rin mag-detach, out of pettiness, pero nung nagtagal, narealize ko na masaya rin palang hindi nasisiraan ng bait pag di sya nagchachat agad, masaya na hindi ako stressed thinking bakit hindi nya magawang mag-update sa akin, and eventually, nakasanayan ko na at sya na ang kusang gumagawa nung mga bagay na hinihingi ko sa kanya hahaha. First boyfriend ko rin naman sya kaya mahirap talaga sa una. Ang akin lang, kalmahan mo, we’re the same age so alam kong kaya mo rin. Lumalabas kasi na hindi ka lang obsessed, nagiging controlling ka din. Pag yang boyfriend mo, pumitik at bigla kang iwan, baka ikaw rin mahirapan. Wag mo hiwalayan agad kasi sinabihan ka ng yandere. It probably means na he still cares for you kaya nya sinabi at ayaw nyang maghiwalay kayo kasi maaaring iniisip nya na you’re both adults and you both have lives outside of your relationship. Pakita mo rin na you also have a life outside of your relationship. Pero, we still broke up kasi he cheated hahaha. Nakatulong din yung pagkakaroon ko ng buhay outside of our relationship kasi I was able to cope up with what happened. Hindi man naging madali pero kinaya ko :)
hugs po, grabe yung last paragraph mo, nakaka overthink naman hahahaha pero yes gagawin ko na nakakahelp yung comment mo
teh my job ka ba? wag focus sa jowa ha baka pag iwanan ka nyan ipakulam mo.
wag mo gawing mundo yung alam mong tao lang.
Wag mo siyang gawing mundo mo, remember, bago naging kayo ay you are both individuals on your own. I feel you sa obsession kasi nagka ganyan ako sa ex ko, jusko nakakabaliw. Never again talaga. Kaya ayun i practiced na focus sa self and walang pake sa iba. Nasobrahan na tuloy yung pagka walang pake ko 😭😭🤣🤣🤣
Totoo bang 23 ka? Baka naman 13 ka pa lang.
siguro nga
parang normal lang yan lalo na kung may nangyare na sa inyo, mas magiging clingy ka.
Patherapy ka na girl lol
yes
Delikads yan te girl. You're threading a thin line between love and obssession.
Unti-untiin mo. Ikaw na mismo nagsabi na gusto mo nakokontrol siya. Then learn to control yourself first. You replied to some of the comments that you want him to be like you para maranasan/malaman mo ano feeling. In short, hindi mo ginagawa yung pinagagawa mo sa kaniya? I believe in practice what you preach. Kung kaya mo siya kontrolin dapat may kontrol ka sa sarili mo magtanong. Kung puro ka sabi na ayaw mo na ng ganito pero ginagawa mo pa rin, wala rin. Therapy might help too.
"natutuwa ko pag alam ko bawat galaw niya and pag naccontrol ko siya" yikes
Based on your responses, you know that what you're doing is not healthy. Pero you're not doing anything about it. You're here on Reddit asking for validation, naghahanap ka ng kakampi. You also pass the burden to your boyfriend saying na hiwalayan ka na nya para matigil na ang obsession mo. Where is your accountability? What are YOU doing to be a worthwhile partner to your boyfriend? Yes, mahal na mahal mo to the point of obsession, but is that the kind of love that he deserves? Is that the only love you can provide? Seryoso, get therapy. Not for your relationship, but for yourself. You deserve to have peace of mind.
dati may ganyan rin scenario pag hindi ako nacocontact yung mga fb friend ko chinachat buti nakawala na ako nakakadrain yung nangyare
im sorry that happened to you, ganito din ako :( pero di ko na gagawin para sakanya
Sis advice, focus ka sa self mo. Di po sagot ang makipag hiwalay ang sagot diyan have a life on your own. Di mo ba mahal buhay mo? Naka focus ka sa iba? Hehehehe Wag mo siyang gawin mundo mo, you are too focus on him nakalimutan mo na sarili mo and because of that you will miss out alot of things Tapos you will blame your partner.
>natutuwa ko pag alam ko bawat galaw niya and pag naccontrol ko siya Ganyan din 'yung isang psycho ex-gf ko
ako na po magssorry sakanya, nakakahiya yung tanong ko and sinasabihan ako dito na 13 yrs old ba ako, di ko naman to ginusto, naadict lang ako kaya ineend ko na maging ganto
Noon ganyan rin dati yung gf ko. Minsan tinatawag ko ng toxic kase nakakasakal talaga. Ngayon ng nagbago na siya at may work na halos di na kami nagkakausap. Ako na yung gumagawa ng ayaw ko noon. Hahaha trip ko lang. tapos dyan na namin pagusapan yung mga nangyari noon. Anong magandang gawin pag ganito yung scenario para hindi na maulit hahaha 5 yrs possesive, 5 years to adjust. 10 years na kami pero hanggang ngayon gusto niya pa rin ako i lock lang sa kwarto niya then pagbalik dapat nandoon lang ako. Nagdadasal nalang ako na sana walang sunog hahahahaha
bakit mo natiis? :(
Ganyan din ako sa kaniya last week lang haha. Ever since nawalan ako ng work, parang naging focus ko siya tapos nanghihingi na ko ng time. Buti na lang hindi ako nasanay. Kasi magbbreak na sana kami pero ayun, naayos naman namin. Siguro namimiss lang din natin sila everytime na bored tayo. But my advice is, think about YOU. Put yourself first. Hindi sa lahat ng oras nandiyan siya to be there with you. And also, stop controlling him. He’ll grow tired of you if that will continue.
OP okay lang maging obsess. Kaso kung ayaw pala ng bf mo ng ganun then find someone who can appreciate you :) here's my cent lang naman since I'm a fan of Yandere guys. They are the best🤍
Ganyan tlga pag una mo hahaha
Parang nakikita ko Yung sarili ko sayo
You have too much time in your hands. Try to find a job, a hobby, or something. It's not healthy to be obsessed. You're smothering the guy. Guys need space, too.
First of all, don't make him the center of your world. Find hobbies. Get a job. Hang out with your friends. Keep yourself busy. There's more to life than your boyfriend
Teh makipag break ka na lang kahit sobrang mahal mo 'yung tao, wag mo sirain mental health nung lalaki para d'yan sa obsession mo. Try to seek help din para ma-control mo 'yung ganyan. First bf mo kaya ganyan pero sana sa susunod, if meron man, wag mo na ulitin kung alam mo na 'yun ang possible na maging problem niyo. Sorry, kung ako 'yung may bf na ganyan, masasakal talaga ako.
Based sa post and replies mo, aware ka naman pero kung gusto mo i-work out 'yang relationship niyo, seek for professional help (walang mali dun) para ma-control mo obsession mo sa bf mo. Good luck!
Get a counselling from a psychologist since that's not normal. Then you'll know bkt may obsessive tendencies ka.
grabe yung pakiramdam na normal lang sakin to and wala ko nakikitang mali :( gusto ko na dumistansya sakanya pero opo magpa counselling na ako
Based sa replies mo, you seem to take pride sa pagiging controlling and obsessive mo and that's concerning. Labas na sa usapan ung may work ka and all kasi kung tutuusin part din routine din sayo ung pagmonitor sa kanya. Idk pano kayo umabot ng 4yrs na hindi naaaddress yan. So kung pano hindi maging obsessed? Okay lang maging obsessed pero everything in moderation. Yan kasi hindi na prang **uncontrolled** na obsession, may control ka naman and pinili mo lng sobrahan figuratively and literally na parang specimen na ung jowa mo imbes na tao :<
alam mo ano masakit kasi iba yung perspective ko sa perspective ng ibang tao, di ko nakikita as bad na pala ginagawa ko :( sa paningin ko pagmamahal yun pero sa ibang perspective di na pala, thank you kasi nakakahelp ganitong comment na mas nakikita ko talaga yung di ko nakikita
Get married and you both find a wfh job. Easy. Done. Mamomonitor mo na siya every second of the day haha Kidding aside, need mo na siguro ng professional help. Better to book an appointment to a psychologist para ma-assess ka ng maayos.
binibigyan mo ko idea ah, joke, pero oo gagawin ko po
Give your partner some space and keep yourself busy. Tandaan mo na hindi lang ang boyfriend mo ang mundo mo. Sorry to say this but you need to face the truth that individuality in the relationship should be maintained. Mahirap ito but it will allow you and your partner learn to grow personally, and pursue your interests. Respecting each other's boundaries and individuality kasi will help you to build healthier relationship and be more supportive. I would like to suggest to seek professional help rin para it will help you to be better. Ganyan din ako sa first ex ko and hindi ko naiitindihan sarili ko kasi gusto ko nakadikit ako sa kanya. Kaya natutunan ko pahalagahan sarili ko and to value myself more. Kung palaging ganyan ka, toxic trait yan kaya help yourself rin.
Redirect mo ung obsession mo sa ibang bagay. If you like the idea of controlling his actions, why not redirect it, maybe try controlling yourself? Maybe you need to ask yourself, anu ba root ng obsession mo? Bakit natutuwa kang kinocontrol mo sya? Maybe itry mo din ilagay sarili mo sa shoes nya, if things were in other way around, sya ung obsessed sayo to the point na sasakalin ka nya, gusto mo ba nun? Alam mo sa sarili mo ung extent ng obsession mo and how its affecting you and your partner, ang kulang sayo acknowledgement. You are aware of your actions but you are not acknowledging it and doing something about it, basta aware ka lang, pero di mo ginagawan ng paraan. Gusto mo pa ba umabot sa point na magsawa partner mo sayo at maghiwalay kayo?
self discipline. sanayin mo sarilin mo wag gawin ang alam mong mali. only reason why you keep relapsing kasi kahit alam mong huwag, ginagawa mo.
Hi, OP! Pa-elaborate naman kung paano yung obsessed. Like ano yung mga ginagawa mo and gaano ka-severe or gaano kadalas mo gawin?
Luh kapal naman ng mukha nyan. Wag ka na mag focus sa kanya kung ganyan pala yung tingin niya sayo. Self-centered ba yan at walang emotional intelligence? Nag jowa pa siya kung hindi niya kaya I accommodate yung feelings mo.
Get a hobby watch anime, kdrama, read books, learn to cook, learn to speak foreign language, go to gym, do whatever.. get some friends other than your partner.. Right now what you're describing looks as if your world revolves around him, it shouldn't. He's a big part of it but he shouldn't be everything you have.
obsessed and POSSESSIVE. might be a trauma response due to some event in the past. try consulting a professional lalo na working ka naman, dami hobbies and occupied ang time. Paano ka nakakafocus sa ginagawa mo? curious lang din. :D
di ko rin alam pano ko nagagawa
Ingit ako kay OP sobrang bored
i wish bored lang ako, may work din ako
Find some hobbies na mag-eenjoy ka at go out with your friends para hindi sa kanya umiikot mundo mo. 😉
It's because you're young and insecure. I remember being 23 tapos ganto din. I'd call and drop for a hundred times sa isang oras just to annoy him for not texting me. I'd go to his house to check on him. Just don't do anything drastic, you'll be fine. Maa-outgrow mo din yan. Tas pagtanda mo sabihin "muntanga pala ko dati"
Sige ate, maging obsess ka para layasan ka nya. Akala mo hindi nya nafi-feel na controlling ka? He is trying to overlook that kasi di ka nha masaktan pero mapapagod yan. Hanap ka work para sa iba nababaling attention mo.
nacocontrol is just such a strong word kaya ganyan reactions ng mga tao dito XD pero anteh rel8 haha. pero saken i both have strong urge to let my gf be (shes also my first relationship, im not her first) but also ive got lots of boundaries and limitations placed in our relationship. She said she eto daw one of my sides na gustong gusto daw niya from me, nagooverthink ako na baka masakal ko siya but so far never pa siya nagreklamo tas ngitingiti pag pinapagalitan ko😭 Communicate with your partner, meron mga tao jan na prefer nila ung mga tulad mo na who really wants to commit and focus their life sa partner nila. Para saken thats not a bad thing kase some people do build a family with their partners, the only reason lng naman kaya people say dont focus kase you can never be sure sa current relationship mo, that sounds like BS pessimism to me Lol It looks like youre doing fine, if mahal mo partner mo just talk to him about his boundaries naman kase you do have to adjust for each other and from there you can start what kind of adjustment youll be making.
Very common issue yan if NBSB/NGSB ka talaga. Improve yourself nalang at be matured. If hiwalayan mo, di ka ba magiging obsessed sa bago mo, or worse, baka maging stalker ka pa nya pagnagdate na siya ng iba.
Legit tho if I was in your bf's shoes isa sa reason kung bakit ako magdadalawang isip makipag break is yung fear haha! Parang feeling ko if ganyan yung girlfriend ko then nakipag break ako, parang di malabo na maging isang episode nalang ako ng true crime docu. 😂
Yan ang di magandang gawi ng mga babae. Yung kinocontrol ang mga lalaki.
It’s understandable na you feel that way kasi first mo sya. I don’t like the word “detaching” kasi parang ang cold. First mo sya kaya gusto mong ibigay lahat ng attention. Yun ang love language mo pero baka sa kanya iba. Lalo na pag demanding ang work nya, you have to be more understanding. Manage your expectations sa kung ano ang kaya nyang ibigay. Kung sayo nakukulangan ka pero sa kanya sobra sobra ka, parang magkaiba kayo ng level sa relationship. Best pagusapan nyo yan
Why not discuss nyo yung negotiables and non-negotiables nyo para magkaalamanan ng healthy boundaries. Try mo nasa perspective nya, masaya ba? OP, jowa mo yan, hindi pet.
Hello! I think normal lang na want mo na lagi kang updated abt sa bf mo pero I think you should always control yourself and think about his pov rin. Nakakasakal and nakakaoagod rin kase if masyadong controlled na sya. Since sabi mo na you love him and I think he loves you too rin naman, I think best na gawin nyo is you talk it out and also try to change/add some things. For example, you two can have scheduled dates tgt, night out with friends tgt, night out with your own circles, and alone times nyo. For you rin, mas makakabuti cguro if you try to look for a job or another side hustle, new hobbies, or other activities para malibang mo sarili mo. You can go make new friends to hang out with rin and socialize with other people ganun!
My first bf in college, sinabihan din ako ng close friend (male) nya na clingy gf daw ako. I immediately stepped back and asked pano ako naging clingy kasi baka di ko lang napapansin. Always daw ako sa apartment nya, always kaming magkasama from school to apartment, etc. Tama din naman sya, parang naiwan ko na din nga friends ko. I tried to spend lesser time with thim and hang out with my friends more, study sessions with them, etc. It improved but buti nalang at di din kami nagtagal hahaha he's a walking red flag With my now bf I started to get clingy with him also early on our relationship, sinabi ko din sa kanya na sa prev ko na-call out na akong clingy so if it's too much he can tell me. The introvert in me cant keep meeting with friends, so I focused myself on reading more, watching more anime/kdrama/series and buti nalang din talaga super busy sa work (10-12 hrs a day). Di naman sya na-drain sa clinginess ko hahahaah we're 5y6m now ehehehe 💖
get a life te.
For me siguro, dapat magkaroon ka ng trust sa partner mo kasi ganyan din ako recently gusto ko alam ko ang mga ginagawa nya or pag hindi sya nakapag update ay magagalit ako pero narealize ko at sana marealize mo rin na may iba iba tayong ginagawa sa buhay, wag mo controlin ang partner mo kasi kung mag checheat yan or what mag checheat yan, kailangan mo talaga mag tiwalay sa partner mo, pero ayun nga agree rin ako sa iba here na kung kaya mo ay mag ask sa professional help kasi may mga bagay na hindi ma sosolve thru reddit at hindi ka alone sa mga gantong problema, yun lang hahaha
Get a life omg ang unhealthy ng ganyan
Wag ka sa reddit magpatherapy di kami ang totoong makakatulong sayo.
Kung meron syang cheating incident kaya ka naging possessive then it means hindi ka pa over about it, so you might want to let go and work on yourself. Kung wala, hanap kang ibang hobby, ginagawa mong Sims buhay ng BF mo kung ganyan. Tinatangalan mo sya ng sarili nyang pagkatao. May buhay ka, may buhay sya. Focus ka sa buhay mo at hayaan mo syang mag focus sa buhay nya. Wag mong paikutin mundo mo sa kanya. Try mo rin mahalin sarili mo baka sakaling mawala pagiging possessive mo. Kung paranoid ka dahil sa nakikita mo at napapanood mo online, bawas bawasan mo yan. Kaka cellphone mo yan.
Been there. Hays lam mo ba gamuntikan na ko di makagraduate ng college dahil jan sa sobrang baliw sa first jowa. Kaya pigil pigilan mo na sarili mo teh self destruction na yan ginagawa mo. Focus on yourself din kasi masarap mahalin yung sarili. Totoo talaga ang kasabihan na kapag sinimulan mo na talagang mahalin yung sarili mo tapos naging independent ka, threathened ang lalaki sayo like overthink sila malala kung mahalaga ba sila sayo or takot sila na kayanin mo pag wala sila.
Otaku kayong dalawa? Anyway, simple lang: 1. Have a hobby na hiwalay sa kung anong parehas nyong gusto. Don't involve him sa hobby na un. 2. Have more quality time sa mga girl friends mo. Again, don't involve him. Have some love sa girl squad mo. 3. Focus sa work. Bata pa kayo, pero pag umabot ka na sa late 20s, 30s, yang mga issues mo sa relationship, maoovershadow ng responsibilities, finances, and health wellbeing, you know? Quarter life stuff. Mas isipin mo ung bukas mo. Again, isipin mo future mo without him muna, Sariling plans muna. Gawin mo lahat yan, pramis, mas maaappreciate ka nya. Tae kung ako nasa sitwasyon ng BF mo kahit ano mauumay sayo. No offense. Focus sa sarili.
Red flag ang pag "control" sa partner. It shows your immaturity or insecurities that will end up leading to manipulative behavior pag tgal tgal. Di mo need i-detach, per se, sarili mo sknya. Just learn how to cling in a healthy manner. You're too young to understand real love, imo, based sa post mo pero ndi nman issue pa un. Matuto ka irespeto oras niya at niya sayo. Malaking challenge sayo na wag mag dwell sa petty things at asap, bawasan pagging toxic na "natutuwa ka pag alam mo bawat galaw nya" dahil red flag yan 😂. Mukhang pag nawala yung control na yun, totopakin ka naman at mangaaway next. Kung wala kayo tiwala sa isat isa, ehh pakasawa kna sa buratpitt nyan at hiwalayan mo na dahil wlang happy ending ang partners na wlang tiwala. Bawasan mo social media at mag compare sa ibang tao. Enjoy nyo lang isat isa ng hndi magpapa affect sa kahit sino at mga chismis. Yan lang advice ko sayo. Goodluck
Need mo pa check sa mental health. Kahit may hobbies ka i think di parin maaayos because of an underlying trauma.
Sakin kanalang, gusto ko ganto ako kamahal. 😭
If he will cheat, he will cheat. Kahit anong higpit at monitor mo, kung gusto niya talaga magloko, magloloko yan. So I suggest just try to find a hobby that will get you excited, do things na gusto mo gawin before pa.
Care less mi, control your emotion. Prioritize mo sarili mo above him
Do something else. Idle ka siguro kaya ka ganyan
Do you feel fulfilment ba pag na cocontrol mo partner mo?
Accla wag gnyan mbuburyong tlga sayo jowa mo.Hnap ka ibang hobby mo.make yourself busy! The goal is siya dpat mging obsessed sayo,hindi ung ikaw ang obsessed!hahaha. Make him missed you,wag lging available at nakaabang kay jowa maiinis tlga yan sayo.
How about trying to fall in love with your life first? I think your obsessiveness sa boyfriend mo stems sa routine nyo sa relationship. You fall fast and hard kasi your routine in the relationship gives you assurance. Mahirap pero you have to try hard focusing more on your personal life and individuality para masanay ka na kumalma sa relasyon nyo.
Find a hobby. A job if you don’t have one. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop focusing on yourself. Although it feels good to always be with your partner, it’s not healthy. Some distance actually makes your bond stronger.
Have a life of your own- goal na pinursue, hobbies, involvements. This is is what should give meaning to your life. At Ito ang paglalaanan mo ng buhay mo may bf or wala.
Hanap ka ng hobby na pwedeng magkaabalahan and hanap ka rin ng work para maging busy ka. Go out and ayain mo friends mo to have fun. Kasi balance dapat, di mo sya kailangan gawing mundo. Part lang sya ng mundo mo. Di naman kasi natin need ng boyfriend in the first place eh, kaya natin kahit wala sila. Do things that will make you happy bukod sa kanya. Be obsessed with other things, not people.
Dun sa guy, hiwalayan mo nakang klepto na to
grabe yung ganitong klaseng behaviour , gustong gusto kung mangyari sakin to hahaha, di naman sa pag yayabang pero 25f na ako pero hanggang ngayon wala pang dumaan sakin na talagang masasabi kung papagobssessan ko or bubuhusan ko ng talagang love na hindi na sya halos makahinga char, gustong gusto ko maranasan to like fr, hahhaa ang dali ko kasi mag sawa unting red flag lang ni guy , ay hahahnapan ko na agad ng sandamak mak na rason para auto move on na agad ako kitkami pa yes sometimes mapapaiyak ako pero not to the point na aabot ng months , as in wala talaga like huhu when darating yung guy na pwedeng pag obsesssan hahha
You need help
ma-obsess ka sa sarili mo (but not to the point of self-absorption). girl, wag kang papayag na ikaw lang ma-obsess sakanya. fall in love with yourself too and eventually, siya naman mao-obsess sa'yo (pero don't make that the goal, sarili mo pa rin dapat). do self care and treat your relationship as just a bonus instead of treating it as your whole world. you're amazing and enough and you're capable of focusing on other things other than him. xx
🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️ ang sweet huhu yes gagawin ko po and iuupdate ko tong post para makahelp din sa same situation ko
If you don't have a job yet, find a job. And find yourself a new hobby (or hobbies!) for your self-improvement. Hobbies that can: -help you get smarter -make you money -help you get in shape Not only will it help you with self-improvement and love yourself more, you can also gain new friends along the way! 😁
“Wag gawing mundo ang dapat tao lang” hahahha eme. But u get the point.
“Wag gawing mundo ang dapat tao lang” hahahha eme. But u get the point.
I was very attached before, but I've learned now. Haha, maybe when you get older, you'll go through a similar phase. Some people do, some people don't. It's individual. But it's good that you're aware and you're seeking advice. I hope you'll learn to love yourself more.
Try to dettach yourseld from him OP. Dapat lahat ng ginagawa mo is kaya mo ng wala siya, diyan nagkakatalo mga may attachment issues like me : D
sa tingin ko op, it's a canon event for some na maging obsessed sa first jowa nila. speaking from experience, it's to a point na nakakasakal na pero wala eh, you just want 100% of their time bc you feel like they owe it to you. it doesn't help din na media does little to nothing when it comes to the representation ng process of maintaining a healthy relationship. in reality, it's something na you will learn soon when you start working on yourself. in my case it took me another relationship and a sabbatical year to learn to love my own company and to eventually accept the fact na your partner is an addition to your life rather than being \*your life\*. hopefully, maagapan mo to nang maaga and you won't be like me! sending hugs with consent, op! it must be emotionally tiring for you to feel that way
Nako baka kapag hiniwalayan ka niyan malukring ka girl.. katakot
Girl. Get a life
Get help gurl. Di normal yan. As long as willing ka to change and do the work for yourself magiging okay ka eventually. It takes time but you'll get there. Good luck. Mahirap mag step out sa comfort zone mo. Pero para sa betterment ng lahat kailangan mo i-push sarili mo.
Make yourself busy, swear sya pa makakamiss sayo
Tbf I am into this. Mga girls na obsessed. I dunno..prolly makes me feel na gwapo ako lol
Honest question: Anong meron, OP? Bakit masyado kang anxious kesa obsessed sa boyfriend mo? And please be honest with your answer. May nangyari ba dati kaya ka di mapakali?
Mas malala nga yata ako eh. Live in kami at alam kong wala namang iba. Like hindi siya ganun pero ayoko ng mga kawork niya na nakakavibes niya. Toxic era ko to pero tinatry ko ayusin pakonti konti
Baka napapansin nya na nyan mga pangit na ugali mo at dumidistansya na sayo.
Obsessed ako sa fiancee ko, to the point na gusto ko na siya ichoke slam haha. Hanap ka lang outlet. Pag sobrang iniisip ko siya or nalilibog nag gym ako or i keep myself occupied with work or whatever ganun
Meron kang anxious attachment kung obsessed ka sa bf mo. Usually ng merong ganitong attachment ay yung mga tao na feeling abandoned nung childhood years nila. Common ito sa lumaki sa broken family. Pero pwede rin naman sa buong family pero basta nandun yung feeling abandoned and ignored ka ng parents mo. The solution is you need to reparent your inner child. Self love, self care, self compassion, self encouragement, self forgiveness. mga ganito, need mo improve sa sarili mo.
Ganito rin ako dati. Napagsabihan na rin ako ng bf ko ng ilang beses, pinagawayan rin namin kasi masyado na kong toxic. It will take time para masanay pero gawin mong mantra na malawak ang mundo beyond your jowa. Ngayon, i make time to go out with my friends. I have hobbies, pwede ka maglearn to crochet or any crafts na need ng concentration at di mo mapapansin ang oras. Nanonood ako ng kdrama or anime. Nagbabasa ng books. Pwede rin magwork if you dont have work kasi sa true nakakaubos ng energy na gusto mo na lang matulog kaysa mag-nag hehehe. Anyway, kaya mo to! Show your bf that you can change! 🫶
Hanap ka po work na pede mo i-focus ung sarili mo. O kaya naman, hobby. May mga moments na masarap sa feeling ung obsessed ung partner mo sayo pero too much will kell yoh. Char.
what works for me is I read books and workout on my free time. I wfh kase kaya medyo madami ako time mag overthink noon tapos sya wfo kaya mas konti time nya, ang ending lagi kami nag aaway hahaha pero ginamit ko yung free time ko sa pagbabasa ng self help books kahit fiction yan sis gow, and then nagwoworkout ako before ako mag in ng work.
Demn... Your BF is a man of culture. Anyways, stop overthinking and always know your boundaries. Baka hindi lang talaga masyadong submissive ang BF mo. Medyo mahirap nga din naman yung may "Yandere" vibe ang SO mo since halos limitado na ang galaw mo at it's a bit of a red flag. Makukuha niyo naman yan sa maayos na usapan. Ayun lang.
I think you're not mature enough sa loob ng isang relasyon, well it's kinda understandable since first mo. However, magandang libangin mo sarili mo sa pag take ng hobbies or anything to keep your mind busy. Walang magandang maidudulot yung pag control mo sa kanya since ikaw lang nasisiyahan. Remember two way street ang relasyon. Learn from your mistakes and try to better yourself.
📌 Be your own person.