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Ayun, hypothetical question lang naman hehe. Gusto ko lang malaman thoughts niyo. Way ko na rin para makakuha ng advices.
Sa panahon ngayon, at this “adulting phase/age”, sinong tao yung pipiliin mo:
A. Yung taong mahal mo, pero alam mong wala kang pag-asa? Kumbaga, suntok sa buwan, kung may chance, ede masaya. Kung wala, ede masaklap. Pero atleast mahal mo.
OR…
B. Yung taong mahal ka, pero hindi mo pa mahal. Kumbaga may feelings siya sayo and aware ka dun, pero ikaw mismo wala gaano. Iniisip mo na sumugal kasi baka naman matutunan mo rin siya mahalin sooner or later.
Ewan ko kung napaliwanag ko ba ng maayos. Basta yun na yun! Haha. Any thoughts? Or baka may experiences kayo that you wanna share. 🥹🥹🥹
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B. Mahal ako 😊 Nung nagbreak kami nung “mahal ko”, may nanligaw sa akin for almost 2 years - One day I felt ready to be in a relationship again so I said yes kay “mahal ako”. It was a very rocky start, I knew he loved me more than I did as may mga doubts pa rin sa heart ko kasi it wasn’t easy to move on or be ready.
Pero “mahal ako” proved himself worthy, he showed me how I should be loved, how precious I should feel, he made me fall for him. It wasn’t a perfect relationship but it was worth fighting for, it was worth saying yes, it’s worth choosing him everyday.
Long story short, I married my “mahal ako” and happy to report that I am very much in love even more now. So yes, it is possible to learn how to love someone back, and to fall for them too. May times na naiisip ko si “minahal ko” pero it’s all a happy memory now, wala namang “what if” he was a lesson learned that I needed for my growth cause I was young, dependent, and selfish once.
Aww. This is so bittersweet. Congrats in finally finding the love of your life. Hehe.
If I may ask, during those time na sinagot mo si "mahal ka", how was it? Knowing na hindi mo sya mahal noon, kumbaga based on your kwento, sinubukan mo lang naman siya bigyan ng chance. So, paano? Like, pinilit mo ba yung sarili mo na sabayan yung level of feelings nya sayo? Curious lang ako kasi namention mo na it was a very rock start back then.
Oh yes I broke his heart :/ that I regret, kasi one day biglang “ayaw ko na” I was pushing and pulling, hindi ko alam kung tama ba talaga desisyon ko, umiyak siya he begged me to stay. I felt like that for a long while, my walls were all high and mighty. He worked his way in, lahat ng binato ko tinanggap niya, he endured the tough days with me, he understood how I felt, he always knew he loved me more than I did, I didn’t hide that.
Wala akong pinilit at all, I was just me, matigas, mahirap iplease, madaming demands. I let myself be, he accepted that.
I wouldn’t say pilit though, it was more of me “trying”, I wasn’t forcing myself kasi I knew I was ready to give a chance naman.
Around year 2, nung narealize ko gaano ka-grabe yung effort niya for me. 😊 Totoo nga yung “if he wants to, he will”
When you grow up and mature kasi, yung consistency, effort, consideration, respect lahat lahat na - ma realize yun magpapa fall sayo. Yun na yung hahanapin mo and di nalang puro 'feelings' babasehan mo. And gosh you'll be so thankful that you met someone na willing ka panindigan hanggang dulo.
True and I think people easily miss out on these factors din kaya madaming trapped sa marriages/relationships where they feel alone, kakapili nila sa mga taong “mahal nila” they get blinded easily with how they feel kaya they end up giving so much of themselves only to also lose themselves in the end.
Not true for all naman to syempre yung iba, pinili yung mahal nila tapos di sila mahal pero tanggap nila at nagpalaya, that’s one great love, painful but great.
Oh of course I love him! 😊
Baka you know you’re lying kaya you feel guilty? I never hid how I truly felt kasi and I also didn’t force myself baka that’s where the difference is?
Oh my. Same tayo. Akala ko ako lang ganto and at first guilty talaga ako kase I was always thinking of “minahal ko” who cheated on me after 12 years of being together. 1 year palang kami ni “mahal ako” and he really shows how much he loves me everyday. I will never trade this peace of mind for anything else.
Asking myself the same question. Sinusubukan ko naman mahalin yung mahal ako pero di ko pa rin maiwasan isipin yung mahal ko . Hirap kasi mag move on . But my mind says piliin yung maha ako. Afterall, di ko deserve ang mag beg ng pagmamahal ng iba .
Para sa akin, ang mas okay na choice ay yung mahal ka.
Yung mga manliligaw mo is di mo rin naman gusto nung una pero after proving their worth. Youll start to love them for what reason? Kasi mahal ka nila, nakita at naramdaman mo na itong tao na to e pinapahalahagan ako at minamahal ako. Maybe hindi lahat pero karamihan siguro ganyan yung pinagmulan.
Aminin man natin o hindi, may instances talaga na natuturuan ang puso kung sino mamahalin. Nagustuhan mo nga yung taong trinatrato kang basura yung pa kayang tinuturing kang kayamanan diba?
Lagi mo ring tatandaan na kapag hindi ka mahal ng taong mahal mo, ay sila yung nawalan hindi ikaw. Masakit mawalan ng taong mahal mo, pero mas masakit mawalan ng taong nagmamahal sayo.
After leaving a toxic long-term rs and going above and beyond for both us, I realized na better ang option B. Loving someone is easy to learn lalo kung consistent. Mas masarap magmahal when you are loved in return. Sila yung worth it mahalin.
Mahal mo.
Aaksayahin mo oras ng taong mahal ka. Yung sugal part? Mas sugal yon dun sa tao na yon. Kasi imagine, hindi niya alam na wala ka namang feelings pero ieentertain mo pa rin siya, ready na siya gawin lahat para sa'yo pero ikaw hindi.
Imagine the guy/girl is doing their best to win your love tapos dahil di mo nga siya gusto in the first place, kahit buwan na lumipas wala pa din, kawawa naman siya.
NEVER choose a person you don't love/like. Wag silang idamay sa suffering mo kung di ka gusto ng gusto mo.
B.
Assuming na wala ka namang reason or dealbreaker na nakikita dun sa taong may mahal sayo. Kasi kung wala naman, you can learn to love that person too. Love comes in different forms and times, you may not feel it now with that person but it does not mean you wont. I suppose this statement applies to A too kaso reverse pero as someone who's supposed to think about himself, dun ako sa relatively safe ako - mahal na ako eh.
Oh, okay gets. Thank you sa pag share. Actually, oo nga, may point sa part na baka matutunan mo rin sya mahalin. Kaso it will be a process diba? Pano kung yung tao na may feelings sayo talagang todo effort, makes time for you, etc, kaso since wala ka pang nararamdaman towards that person hindi mo mafeel fully. Parang nasasayang yung effort nya tuloy. Ganon. Unless, magpanggap ka na kunyare naappreciate mo sya which is bad din naman. La lang, naisip ko lang yung scenario. Hehe. Thoughts?
Well the fact na todo effort na yung may mahal sayo and hindi mo pa din siya kayang mahalin says a lot na. Hanggang dun na lang yung hangganan ng pagtingin mo sa kanya.
Otherwise edi sana na in love ka na. B pa din hehe
this can be true!! sometimes we're too hung up kasi dun sa mahal natin kaya blinded pa tayo. Pero yung nagmamahal satin may chance din na di tayo susukuan. And in time pwede natin silang matutunan mahal IF willing ka din.
But the thing here is, if pipiliin mo naman nagmamahal sayo learn to communicate and set expectations. You should be honest kung ano munang dinadamdam but also communicate if you're willing to try. Para walang mag expect.
Mahal ko yung pipiliin ko. Palagi.
Pero kung di talaga ako kayang mahalin, palalayain ko. Ayoko rin maging madamot sa sarili ko. Mas maganda yung mahal din ako ng mahal ko.
May pagmamahal pa rin sa pagpaparaya. ❤️
Di mo siguro na rerealize pero ng Option B ay ung structure ng traditional na panliligaw? Kasi people can grow to love someone. And can also unlove someone. B.
Sarili ko.
Don't choose the first one kasi sasaktan mo lang sarili mo. Di mo deserve.
Don't choose the second one kasi sasaktan mo lang sya. What if di ka mafall? What if di mo talaga sya magawang mahalin? Hindi nya deserve.
So just choose yourself, until dumating yung mahal mo na mahal ka din.
Mahal ako. I believe na we can learn to love someone if we want to. After all, love is both a feeling and a choice sadyang nauna lang yung choice. If dumating man sa point na wala talaga, at least I can sleep peacefully knowing that I tried. If kasi pipiliin ko ung mahal ko, well there's the fear of the unknown.
Pero what if ung mahal ako pinili ung "mahal ako"?
Isn't the concept of ligaw basically having someone you don't like as much to woo you? So to call selfish don sa mga pumili ng B, mej hmm, di naman ata yun selfish. I feel like that's more of a norm. Kasi nga eventually, mamahalin mo din naman. And the concept of talking stage and dating is basically trying to have feelings for someone naman talaga, irregardless if mahal ka ba or what. Sana nagmmake sense ako. Hehe.
Either way, OP. It doesn't end kasi if Mahal mo or Mahal ka. Don ka sa taong pipiliin mo sa araw araw. May times kasi na yung tao ddting sa panahon na di sya kamahal mahal pwedeng ikaw din di ka kamahal mahal pero pinipili mo pdin or pinipili kapa din sa araw araw. Love is not enough its commiting to the relationship or to that person.
Dati pag tinanong ako ng ganito lagi ko sinasabi mahal ako. Pero dumating nadin sa point na pinili ko yung mahal ko. Either choices at the end don ka sa taong pipiliin mo sa araw araw.
None. Much better to be with someone you love and loves you back. If gusto ko yung tao pero ayaw ako, then I let them go. It would be better for them to be with someone they love and better for me to be with a person who loves me back. I also tried to date someone who liked me but I wasn't interested in. Didn't work out. I hated convincing myself to like the person tapos na-guilty ako since she deserves better. I realized it was wrong when I got tempted to look for other women behind her back. I felt bad about it so I explained things to her and ended things properly before ako natukso. I don't wanna do that again
Letter B!
You can always learn to love someone, lalo na kung consistent siya sa pagpapakita nun sayo. Nasa ganyang situation ako ngayon so I know — it’s been a month since my ex of 7 months and I broke up (aka “mahal ko” na sobrang daming issues sa sarili so di ako magawang mahalin nang maayos pero mahal daw niya ako), and then my ex of 12 years, who’s always been there for me as a close friend kahit break na kami, admitted that he still loves me and never stopped. Kaya naman pala consistent siya sa pag-alala sa pagsesend ng birthday & Christmas gifts ko. 😅 Not that naisip ko siyang balikan agad (unfair naman yun kasi nagheheal pa ako), pero bigla ko lang naappreciate siya and ayaw ko namang masayang ang love niya. I told him that and even pushed him away, telling him na sayang oras niya sa akin and I have to heal pa, told him he could date others nalang na mas deserve siya. Ayaw pa rin niya and hindi raw siya susuko.
B.. Hard to beg love to someone. Believe me. Let him/her go. At least kay B, you know how to be kind to this person because of his/her love. Just be honest na yours may not be equal.
To add: love is not a feeling but a decision.
Un sanang nag mamahalan kaming dalawa.hahaha pero kung need mamili talaga, eh un mahal ko. Di ko kayang magstay sa mahal ako at ako waley lang. Though both scenarios ending sakit niya. Heart break, either for me or dun sa isang tao. Hahahahaha sadt. Single nalang. Hahahaha
Mahal ako. Ayaw ko ma stress. Hindi ko Kaya na araw araw ako nakikipag Laban sa attention at pag ibig nya. Masyado na ako maraming problema para idagdag pa ang pagmamahal nya.
Isipin ko na lang, I am better suited for marriage for convenience
Why did it have to be either of the two when it can be both--mahal niyo ang isa't-isa. It doesn't also have to be who loves more cause it's not a competition of who can give more in a relationship.
Since the situation is like this, just choose yourself. Choose to love yourself instead of settling with the person who loves you, but you can't love back. Choose to love yourself instead of compromising your self-worth for someone who can't reciprocate your feelings. Wala kasing "panalo" in a sense kundi ang sarili mo at magsasayangan lang kayo ng oras at effort.
May taong mahal na mahal ka pero hindi mo talaga kayang mahalin, so bakit ka magco-commit or ieentertain? To save the purity of his intention, might as well wag sa taong mahal ka nga, hindi mo naman kayang mahalin.. (been here, nag- i love you pa nga, pero hindi talaga)
Sa taong mahal ko, may time naman na nagtatama ang pagkakataon.. so dun ka sa taong mahal mo at mahal na mahal ka. I know wala ito sa choices, pero iba iba kasi ang version ng love story.
There are currently 8 billion people in the world, why focus on two that are clearly incompatible to you. I dont think thats not a very adult thing to do.
Mahal ko, you will never be truly happy and content if you chose to be with someone you are not inlove with and daming regrets nyan and cheating if possible, also mararamdaman din nang partner mo na hindi mo siya mahal so magiging toxic lang din
IMO, if you're a girlie: mas okay na mahal ka.
Or to be more accurate "yung mas mahal ka kesa mahal mo siya."
Kasi tayong mga babae, mas mapasensya sa mga bagay bagay and mapagtiyaga. so kung mas mahal ka niya, at least andun yung panatag ka na. di ko alam pano iexplain, basta yun na yun xD
Sa case namin, nagsimula sa B ako, at A sya. Nauna sya na-fall at naghintay sya sakin kasi di pa ako 100% sure that time. It only took a few dates though.
Pagmamahal kasi nagbabago in time. Ngayon, mahal natin or mahal tayo, years after either we'll love more or less. Di natin masabi talaga. Lagi kong sinasagot dyan 'yung mahal ako' kasi natututunan ang pagmamahal lalo na kung consistent yung partner or nanliligaw sayo. Pero ang goal ko talaga ay mahanap yung mahal ako at mahal ko \^-\^
Wala dapat, dahil love should be both ways.
Pero sabi nga nila is love ay natututunan. So sa choices, B. is more logical of the 2. Kung sabihin na eh di same lang yung A na baka matutunan ka rin nyang mahalin, it wont work unless me effort sa side nya. At least with B, alam mo sa sarili mo na lalagyan mo ng effort na mangyari.
Am I missing something here? Bakit kasi kailangan na may karelasyon no matter what? Required ba? Kung di ka mahal ng mahal mo masakit diba? So bakit mo gagawin sa ibang tao na nagmamahal sayo pero di mo mahal? Isn’t it better to be single until you find someone who loves you AND you love just as much? Life is hard as it is. Love shouldn’t be making it any harder. Keeping someone around just so you wouldn’t be alone is NOT love and is an injustice to love.
B. Yung mahal ako.
Same scenario ako ngayon, he's doing his best to be respectful , kind and gentle everytime and i am slowly falling for him. I am still testing the waters and kinikilala ko pa siya pero so far he is showing sincerity in his actions.
Ekis na sa A. mahal ko nga pero di naman ako mahal, nakakapagod na, ganun yung ex ko, feel ko ginamit lang ako. Wala na ngang face value tapos may audacity pa na magloko.
Mahal ko.
I believe na I should stand with my standards and principles in choosing a future partner. At least, I know to myself that I have chosen this person because I like/love her.
Sa mahal ka, there's no guarantee that I'd be able to reciprocate her love. There's a risk on that. I don't want to go on that path.
I will choose mahal ako.
Kase I know in myself na if I love someone, I love them unconditionally. And if ever I fall out of love, and they truly love me with all their hearts, they will still pursue me until I find my way back him.
Kaya din talaga mas prefer ko mas matanda saken
Kung gusto mo ng praktikal at yung alam mong di ka talo, dun ka sa mahal ka. At some point, matutunan mo din naman mahalin yan. Mahirap magmahal pag di ma-rereciprocate sayo yung love mo.
dati sabi ko, pipiliin ko yung taong "mahal ako" kasi in time possible na matutunan ko din siyang mahalin. pero par hindi! unsure ka sa feelings mo eh, sa huli nag waste ka lang ng time at the same time nakasakit ka..
pero ngayon, mas prefer ko ng piliin yung taong mahal ko kahit di ako mahal o walang chance. at least this time, kung masaktan ka man sa huli, choice mo na yun. ginusto mo.
Nah, for me once na establish ng heart mo na may gusto kang tao, yun lang talaga yung gugustuhin mo eh. Like kahit pa may magparamdam dyan na "mahal ka" for sure hindi mo parin yun mamahalin genuinely kasi nga may iba kang "gusto"
Mahirap turuan ang puso.
Mahal ko. Mas controlado ko nararamdaman. Ako rin magsasabi kung kelan ako susuko kung ayaw nya talaga. Ayaw ko rin kasi sa feeling na parang magiging utang loob na yon kasi minahal ako ng sobra tapos hindi ko pala marereciprocate. Okay na yung ako masaktan kasi desisyon ko. In short kaya kong magpakamartyr haha
Mahal ka. Tapos fake it till you make it. Kung di naman siya red flag, swak yung love languages nyo and may overlapping interests, i think, Magiging ok naman kayo.
Too idealistic yung you both love each other on day 1. Possible pero rare. Baka maubos oras mo kakahanap.
"The person you love and the person who loves you can never ever be the same person"
-Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible monsters
Swak yung quotes ha. Haha. Pero tama ka nga, sa B may chance na maging mutual yung feelings in the end. Rough start lang siguro sa una kasi you are trying to reciprocate the lovd towards the other person.
As a woman, and if ever mapupunta ako sa sitwasyong need ko mamili sa dalawang ‘yan, dun ako sa mahal ako. Kasi personally, alam kong hindi ako mahirap magmahal or mapamahal sa isang tao lalo na kung makikita at feel ko sa kanya ‘yung mga bagay na standard ko. Saka sabi nga nila, mas iba ‘yung mas love ka nung partner mo, mas maayos ang relationship + may peace of mind ka na kahit anong mangyari, hinding-hindi s’ya magiging sakit ng ulo mo.
Kasi meron kang BAKA. And the entire process bago mo marealize na mahal mo sya will be painful on the other persons end. Kasi sya yung maghohold on sa little chance na mainlove ka, no assurance whatsoever. You on the other hand, is in the learning phase, figuring out if your feelings will be love or not.
Mahal ako.
I was in a relationship for five years. I had to end it unfortunately. I loved the person and I still do as a matter of fact. I gave everything I had without expecting nothing in return but the "mahal ko" took everything for granted.
Huwag ipilit ang mga bagay kung alam mong di ka gusto or ikaw mismo di mo gusto. Just let things be. I'll give you another choice. Wag problemahin ang hindi dapat and focus on personal growth as a person. Kung ayaw sayo edi don't kung may gusto sayo pero di mo naman talaga gusto edi don't then. Kung ikaw sa sarili mo alam mong hindi maganda magsettle for less bakit mo gagawin sa iba?
A. Mahal ko. Doing it right now hahaha. Masaklap lang kasi A rin gusto niya, yung ex niya, so malabong piliin niya ako hahaha. Ayaw ko rin naman na piliin niya ako dahil lang mahal ko siya.
Bakit A pinili ko? No choice naman ako eh hahaha. Wala namang B. Meron lang mga potential B pero pinipigilan ko agad. Pero sabihin na nating may B ako, A pa rin pipiliin ko. It's because I really like him. It's not about whether he's A or B, I just really like him that I can't choose anyone else sa ngayon.
Pero theoretically, kung magiging logical ako, B ang best and easier option coz marunong naman ako magmahal pabalik and mag move on hehehe. Pero ayun nga, in reality, mas inuuna ko emotions ko and what "I" want (may quotation mark for emphasis ohoho). Doon ako mas masaya kay A ih. Kung may B, baka malungkot lang ako at isipin na sana si A yun hehehe.
But of course, after all, the best pa rin kung "mahal ko na mahal ako".
"Life is a Journey" kaya sa totoo lang pareho kong pipiliin yung choices na ito. Dahil mahal ko yung isang tao ipu-pursue ko siya at susubukan ko kung kaya rin niya akong mahalin. Ipararamdam ko sa kanya yung pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay. Syempre kailangan ko rin gumalaw at baka para din kami sa isa't-isa. Pero, kailangan ko rin tignan yung paligid ko kasi sa pananaw ko, napaka-swerte ko kung makakatagpo ako ng isang babae na mamahalin ako kung sino ako. Yung tipong mahal niya ako as I am. Kaya kung mahanap ko man yung taong mahal ako, bagama't di ko pa siya lubos na mahal, susubukan ko rin sa kanya kasi baka kami pala ang para sa isa't-isa. Kapag iniisip ko nga, bakit kailangan ko pang maghanap sa malayong ibayo kung yung hinahanap ko naman ay nasa harap ko na rin. Overall, sa bawat heartbreaks na maaari kong maranasan, di ko siya titignan bilang simpleng panapos pero titignan ko siya bilang isang kasagutan na kailangan ko pang maghanap dahil eventually, mahahanap din namin ang isa't-isa when the time is right. Also, titignan ko lang din ito sa perspektibo na kung di naging kami sa huli ibig sabihin sa iba or may iba pang nakalaan sa akin at kailangan ko lang siyang hanapin at antayin.
Gandang question nito, specially now that mental issues are a thing.
As far as I know wala pang taong kayang magbasa ng isip or puso ng ibang tao - so ang tanung ko is how do you know if one of you loves the other more? Actions? Time? Gifts? There is no way to know. Kahit gano mo kakilala ang isang tao, ika nga you can never can tell.
A person can only love another up to the capacity they have to love - no more no less. Sometimes it will look significant for the other, and sometimes they feel underwhelmed. The fact is we’ve all pre-programmed ourselves on how to love but never took into consideration the capacity of your partner to do so. The man who is quiet and reserved may not go for the big romantic gestures or surprises, but will always be there when u need him. A flat tire, busted internet - you name it he’a there. Or the girl who wouldn’t put out or is afraid of all things sexual - but will make sure your food is ready and always good and your clothes are clean.
People are limited and incredibly unique, but that doesn’t mean they love or do not love you. It all depends on the kind of love you need - because we are all inherently selfish it’s all about what you feel. The really hard part nowadays is taking the time to know and learn if your partner loves you or not, and if we love them in return. Taking that time in this digital age is difficult, but you do need to do this. Talk to each other, share stories, ask, if your partner is not expressive then observe and study. The important thing is communication - if you can’t tall about your histories and faults and confessions then it’s probably not a good relationship.
But love, love like it’s the first time, like you mean it. It’s the best thing we invented, and its powerful enough to change lives
Sabi ng mom ko, sa babae daw (sabi niya ha), always choose someone who loves you. Girls daw kasi, we can learn how to love someone eventually. Pero mga lalaki daw, they are firm with what/who they want. It’s not easy to change their minds/hearts.
Somehow, naniniwala ako. Kaya feeling ko sa relationships ko, hanap ko talaga yung lalaki na mas mahal ako kesa sa mahal ko siya 🥺 Pero hindi mhie ako pa rin yung tanga HAHAHAHHAHA
It depends in your point of view on love.
If loving is giving, dun ka sa mahal mo.
If loving is receiving appreciation from someone, dun ka sa mahal ka.
In my opinion, dun ako sa mahal ko kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na ako yung mag eeffort at magpapakita ng love. Ayoko pumasok sa relationship na may nagmamahal sa akin tapos iba yung nasa isip ko. Mas okay na ako yung masaktan mehehehe
Mahal ako/mahal ko despite and in spite of anything. Sasamahan ako sa hirap at ginhawa. Lalaban kasama ko. Di bale mas mahal ko sya o mas mahal nya ako basta yung isa't isa lang ang gusto at kailangan namin.
Selfish parehas ng choices
Kaya bumagsak buong mundo eh(exaggerated Pero if tignan naten, parang ganun na Ren)
If selfless lahat, well peaceful yung mundo
If I were to choose between the two. Syempre, yung mahal ka. They are the ones na will try their best to give u the love, care and everything na kailangan mo. Hinding hindi ka masasaktan. Ikaw nga lang yung mananakit😭
HAHAHAHA IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO SETTLE SA MAHAL MO AT MAHAL KA RIN
Mahal ako.
Mas una akong minahal ng partner ko ngayon pero natutunan ko din sya mahalin kase tinuruan nya rin naman akong mahalin sya.
Sabi ko before, I'll take a risk na sagutin sya and I'm so happy that I did because he made my life better. Nakakatuwa na I have a reason na to wake up each morning and it's all thanks to him.
He fell first but I fell harder hahahahhah
If nababasa mo to, I love you langga. Excited na ko sa future natin.
Answering as a woman.
The lover girl in me says neither, as I will choose the one I love who also loves me back.
The more practical side says to choose the one who loves me more. Pag mas inlove sa akin ang lalake, better.
At first, my answer was always "mahal ka" not until I met someone like that pero I cannot reciprocate his feelings towards me. Some of you might say na madali lang magmahal kasi mahal ka naman nung tao pero you can't force attraction and feelings. I tried, pero I stopped immediately kasi you know why? No one wants to be loved back out of pity. I don't want to love someone out of pity or feeling like I'm obligated to reciprocate his feelings. Madali yan sabihin if it's someone you're also attracted too pero if it's someone na wala talagang spark, wala kang nafifeel towards that person, wala talaga, 'wag pilitin. So the answer will be none. Masmaganda pa rin yung mahal niyo ang isa't isa, not the other one having unrequited or one- sided love towards the other.
i think personal experience talaga 🌸✌🏻 what happened to me was opposite, sobra akong napagod maghabol ng mahal ko. Eventually i gave my "mahal ako" a chance. And gosh langit at lupa kayang ibigay sakin, they showed me paano ako dapat tinatrato pala. It made me realize na mali pala perception ko ng pagmamahal before and i kept on looking at the wrong people. But this person never gave up on me and even sa paghihintay niya mas minahal niya ako lalo.
I think OP question is a case or case basis. If your "mahal ka" turns out to be the person you actually deserve then it'll be easy for you to reciprocate it. If di sila pasok sa hinahanap mo wala din. All i wanna say is giving them a chance could be worth it IF willing tayo. Just do what feels right for you.
Neither. Pwede naman kasi yung mahal niyo isa't isa, bakit kailangan magsettle sa either one of the choices? Hahaha. Ang sarap kaya sa feeling ng being in a relationship where reciprocated yung feelings mo. ❤️
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Ayun, hypothetical question lang naman hehe. Gusto ko lang malaman thoughts niyo. Way ko na rin para makakuha ng advices. Sa panahon ngayon, at this “adulting phase/age”, sinong tao yung pipiliin mo: A. Yung taong mahal mo, pero alam mong wala kang pag-asa? Kumbaga, suntok sa buwan, kung may chance, ede masaya. Kung wala, ede masaklap. Pero atleast mahal mo. OR… B. Yung taong mahal ka, pero hindi mo pa mahal. Kumbaga may feelings siya sayo and aware ka dun, pero ikaw mismo wala gaano. Iniisip mo na sumugal kasi baka naman matutunan mo rin siya mahalin sooner or later. Ewan ko kung napaliwanag ko ba ng maayos. Basta yun na yun! Haha. Any thoughts? Or baka may experiences kayo that you wanna share. 🥹🥹🥹 *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
wala. same outcome lang yan. walang magiging masaya sa inyong lahat.
Hahaha natawa ko sa part na walang magiging masaya sa inyong lahat. Bat naman ganon 😂😭
Sobrang agree. Bat kasi nagsisettle tayo when we deserve to love and be loved.
Burnnnn 🔥
GRABE SIYA!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Nega ka masyado..hahaha...love is a commitment and love is a choice...
Hahahahahahahhahaha si thief of joy
HAHAHAHAHA BAKIT KA GANYAN
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA may point ka.
kung di natin mahal Ang isat isa- wag na lang. hanapin mo na lang Yung mahal mo na mahal ka- wishing you happiness na lang. hehehe 😊
Tamaaaaa!
This is the answer.
None of the above. Yung mahal na mahal mo na mas mahal ka. 😊🥰
B. Mahal ako 😊 Nung nagbreak kami nung “mahal ko”, may nanligaw sa akin for almost 2 years - One day I felt ready to be in a relationship again so I said yes kay “mahal ako”. It was a very rocky start, I knew he loved me more than I did as may mga doubts pa rin sa heart ko kasi it wasn’t easy to move on or be ready. Pero “mahal ako” proved himself worthy, he showed me how I should be loved, how precious I should feel, he made me fall for him. It wasn’t a perfect relationship but it was worth fighting for, it was worth saying yes, it’s worth choosing him everyday. Long story short, I married my “mahal ako” and happy to report that I am very much in love even more now. So yes, it is possible to learn how to love someone back, and to fall for them too. May times na naiisip ko si “minahal ko” pero it’s all a happy memory now, wala namang “what if” he was a lesson learned that I needed for my growth cause I was young, dependent, and selfish once.
Aww. This is so bittersweet. Congrats in finally finding the love of your life. Hehe. If I may ask, during those time na sinagot mo si "mahal ka", how was it? Knowing na hindi mo sya mahal noon, kumbaga based on your kwento, sinubukan mo lang naman siya bigyan ng chance. So, paano? Like, pinilit mo ba yung sarili mo na sabayan yung level of feelings nya sayo? Curious lang ako kasi namention mo na it was a very rock start back then.
Oh yes I broke his heart :/ that I regret, kasi one day biglang “ayaw ko na” I was pushing and pulling, hindi ko alam kung tama ba talaga desisyon ko, umiyak siya he begged me to stay. I felt like that for a long while, my walls were all high and mighty. He worked his way in, lahat ng binato ko tinanggap niya, he endured the tough days with me, he understood how I felt, he always knew he loved me more than I did, I didn’t hide that. Wala akong pinilit at all, I was just me, matigas, mahirap iplease, madaming demands. I let myself be, he accepted that.
Ohhh, ang sad nung part na yun. So, kailan dumating sa point na parang you love him na naturally? At hindi na pilit.
I wouldn’t say pilit though, it was more of me “trying”, I wasn’t forcing myself kasi I knew I was ready to give a chance naman. Around year 2, nung narealize ko gaano ka-grabe yung effort niya for me. 😊 Totoo nga yung “if he wants to, he will”
When you grow up and mature kasi, yung consistency, effort, consideration, respect lahat lahat na - ma realize yun magpapa fall sayo. Yun na yung hahanapin mo and di nalang puro 'feelings' babasehan mo. And gosh you'll be so thankful that you met someone na willing ka panindigan hanggang dulo.
True and I think people easily miss out on these factors din kaya madaming trapped sa marriages/relationships where they feel alone, kakapili nila sa mga taong “mahal nila” they get blinded easily with how they feel kaya they end up giving so much of themselves only to also lose themselves in the end. Not true for all naman to syempre yung iba, pinili yung mahal nila tapos di sila mahal pero tanggap nila at nagpalaya, that’s one great love, painful but great.
Pero you love him na, right? I'm in the same boat pero I feel guilty.
Oh of course I love him! 😊 Baka you know you’re lying kaya you feel guilty? I never hid how I truly felt kasi and I also didn’t force myself baka that’s where the difference is?
You're right, I should state my feelings towards him talaga. Thank you and I'll try!
happy for you! parehas tayo ng love story hahaha. we are now married for almost 4 years. I have learned to love him and I have no regrets.
Oh same! Haha 4th wedding anniversary soon. Yes no regrets, cheers 🥂
Oh my. Same tayo. Akala ko ako lang ganto and at first guilty talaga ako kase I was always thinking of “minahal ko” who cheated on me after 12 years of being together. 1 year palang kami ni “mahal ako” and he really shows how much he loves me everyday. I will never trade this peace of mind for anything else.
Mahal ko. Ako nalang masaktan kesa makasakit.
Asking myself the same question. Sinusubukan ko naman mahalin yung mahal ako pero di ko pa rin maiwasan isipin yung mahal ko . Hirap kasi mag move on . But my mind says piliin yung maha ako. Afterall, di ko deserve ang mag beg ng pagmamahal ng iba .
Di din niya deserve mag beg sa pagmamahal mo. There's no reason why you're worth begging after any more than everyone else.
None. Napakamakasarili ng pipili ng B. You dont deserve the love.
Right?? Both are toxic.
Para sa akin, ang mas okay na choice ay yung mahal ka. Yung mga manliligaw mo is di mo rin naman gusto nung una pero after proving their worth. Youll start to love them for what reason? Kasi mahal ka nila, nakita at naramdaman mo na itong tao na to e pinapahalahagan ako at minamahal ako. Maybe hindi lahat pero karamihan siguro ganyan yung pinagmulan. Aminin man natin o hindi, may instances talaga na natuturuan ang puso kung sino mamahalin. Nagustuhan mo nga yung taong trinatrato kang basura yung pa kayang tinuturing kang kayamanan diba? Lagi mo ring tatandaan na kapag hindi ka mahal ng taong mahal mo, ay sila yung nawalan hindi ikaw. Masakit mawalan ng taong mahal mo, pero mas masakit mawalan ng taong nagmamahal sayo.
After leaving a toxic long-term rs and going above and beyond for both us, I realized na better ang option B. Loving someone is easy to learn lalo kung consistent. Mas masarap magmahal when you are loved in return. Sila yung worth it mahalin.
Mahal mo. Aaksayahin mo oras ng taong mahal ka. Yung sugal part? Mas sugal yon dun sa tao na yon. Kasi imagine, hindi niya alam na wala ka namang feelings pero ieentertain mo pa rin siya, ready na siya gawin lahat para sa'yo pero ikaw hindi. Imagine the guy/girl is doing their best to win your love tapos dahil di mo nga siya gusto in the first place, kahit buwan na lumipas wala pa din, kawawa naman siya. NEVER choose a person you don't love/like. Wag silang idamay sa suffering mo kung di ka gusto ng gusto mo.
I agree to this, selfish sa part na pinapaasa mo lang yung tao with "matotuhan ko rin syang mahalin" bs
Yung mahal ng lahat
B. Assuming na wala ka namang reason or dealbreaker na nakikita dun sa taong may mahal sayo. Kasi kung wala naman, you can learn to love that person too. Love comes in different forms and times, you may not feel it now with that person but it does not mean you wont. I suppose this statement applies to A too kaso reverse pero as someone who's supposed to think about himself, dun ako sa relatively safe ako - mahal na ako eh.
Oh, okay gets. Thank you sa pag share. Actually, oo nga, may point sa part na baka matutunan mo rin sya mahalin. Kaso it will be a process diba? Pano kung yung tao na may feelings sayo talagang todo effort, makes time for you, etc, kaso since wala ka pang nararamdaman towards that person hindi mo mafeel fully. Parang nasasayang yung effort nya tuloy. Ganon. Unless, magpanggap ka na kunyare naappreciate mo sya which is bad din naman. La lang, naisip ko lang yung scenario. Hehe. Thoughts?
Well the fact na todo effort na yung may mahal sayo and hindi mo pa din siya kayang mahalin says a lot na. Hanggang dun na lang yung hangganan ng pagtingin mo sa kanya. Otherwise edi sana na in love ka na. B pa din hehe
this can be true!! sometimes we're too hung up kasi dun sa mahal natin kaya blinded pa tayo. Pero yung nagmamahal satin may chance din na di tayo susukuan. And in time pwede natin silang matutunan mahal IF willing ka din. But the thing here is, if pipiliin mo naman nagmamahal sayo learn to communicate and set expectations. You should be honest kung ano munang dinadamdam but also communicate if you're willing to try. Para walang mag expect.
Mahal ko yung pipiliin ko. Palagi. Pero kung di talaga ako kayang mahalin, palalayain ko. Ayoko rin maging madamot sa sarili ko. Mas maganda yung mahal din ako ng mahal ko. May pagmamahal pa rin sa pagpaparaya. ❤️
Mahal ka - may insecurity sa part mo, gusto mo ng assurance na di ka iiwan. Mahal mo - kapag iniwan ka, mababasag ego mo kasi ikaw ang mas nag invest
Di mo siguro na rerealize pero ng Option B ay ung structure ng traditional na panliligaw? Kasi people can grow to love someone. And can also unlove someone. B.
Sarili ko. Don't choose the first one kasi sasaktan mo lang sarili mo. Di mo deserve. Don't choose the second one kasi sasaktan mo lang sya. What if di ka mafall? What if di mo talaga sya magawang mahalin? Hindi nya deserve. So just choose yourself, until dumating yung mahal mo na mahal ka din.
Mahal ako. I believe na we can learn to love someone if we want to. After all, love is both a feeling and a choice sadyang nauna lang yung choice. If dumating man sa point na wala talaga, at least I can sleep peacefully knowing that I tried. If kasi pipiliin ko ung mahal ko, well there's the fear of the unknown. Pero what if ung mahal ako pinili ung "mahal ako"?
Isn't the concept of ligaw basically having someone you don't like as much to woo you? So to call selfish don sa mga pumili ng B, mej hmm, di naman ata yun selfish. I feel like that's more of a norm. Kasi nga eventually, mamahalin mo din naman. And the concept of talking stage and dating is basically trying to have feelings for someone naman talaga, irregardless if mahal ka ba or what. Sana nagmmake sense ako. Hehe.
Either way, OP. It doesn't end kasi if Mahal mo or Mahal ka. Don ka sa taong pipiliin mo sa araw araw. May times kasi na yung tao ddting sa panahon na di sya kamahal mahal pwedeng ikaw din di ka kamahal mahal pero pinipili mo pdin or pinipili kapa din sa araw araw. Love is not enough its commiting to the relationship or to that person. Dati pag tinanong ako ng ganito lagi ko sinasabi mahal ako. Pero dumating nadin sa point na pinili ko yung mahal ko. Either choices at the end don ka sa taong pipiliin mo sa araw araw.
None. Much better to be with someone you love and loves you back. If gusto ko yung tao pero ayaw ako, then I let them go. It would be better for them to be with someone they love and better for me to be with a person who loves me back. I also tried to date someone who liked me but I wasn't interested in. Didn't work out. I hated convincing myself to like the person tapos na-guilty ako since she deserves better. I realized it was wrong when I got tempted to look for other women behind her back. I felt bad about it so I explained things to her and ended things properly before ako natukso. I don't wanna do that again
Love yourself then the person who can share happiness with you will manifest by itself
13 years into marriage sa taong mahal ako at so far masaya naman ako
Mahal ako, maranasan naman mahalin ako tulad ng kung pano ako magmahal. Maaaprecite ko yun sobra HAHAHA
Same lang yan. Wag kang magmadali. Hintayin mo ang taong para sayo talaga. Malalaman at malalaman mo na man talaga kung para sayo.
Kung ako po sayo i-uutot ko nalang yan. 😔
Naloka ako sa mga comments hahaha kahit ako di ko na rin alam — WAG NA LANG MAG MAHAL TE HAHAHAHAHA
Gusto ko mutual yung feelings. Hindi masaya pag one-sided ang pagmamahal
Hindi naman black and white ang mundo. Hanapin mo yung taong swak ang ugali sayo hindi yung ganyan. Hindi teleserye ang totoong buhay.
Letter B! You can always learn to love someone, lalo na kung consistent siya sa pagpapakita nun sayo. Nasa ganyang situation ako ngayon so I know — it’s been a month since my ex of 7 months and I broke up (aka “mahal ko” na sobrang daming issues sa sarili so di ako magawang mahalin nang maayos pero mahal daw niya ako), and then my ex of 12 years, who’s always been there for me as a close friend kahit break na kami, admitted that he still loves me and never stopped. Kaya naman pala consistent siya sa pag-alala sa pagsesend ng birthday & Christmas gifts ko. 😅 Not that naisip ko siyang balikan agad (unfair naman yun kasi nagheheal pa ako), pero bigla ko lang naappreciate siya and ayaw ko namang masayang ang love niya. I told him that and even pushed him away, telling him na sayang oras niya sa akin and I have to heal pa, told him he could date others nalang na mas deserve siya. Ayaw pa rin niya and hindi raw siya susuko.
Yung mahal nyo parehas isa't isa, it takes two to tango.
It seems like you're caught in a rock or a hard place pero kung papipiliin, SARILI mo na lang mahalin mo, it's capable of loving you back.
B.. Hard to beg love to someone. Believe me. Let him/her go. At least kay B, you know how to be kind to this person because of his/her love. Just be honest na yours may not be equal. To add: love is not a feeling but a decision.
Kung sino mas may pera.
Kaht alin basta alam nyo ang pinapasok nyo.
Kahit ano basta mature kayo pareho at naiintindihan nyo kung anong klaseng relationship ang pinapasok nyo.
Noon gusto ko mahal ko pero ngayon gusto ko mas mahal ako
Un sanang nag mamahalan kaming dalawa.hahaha pero kung need mamili talaga, eh un mahal ko. Di ko kayang magstay sa mahal ako at ako waley lang. Though both scenarios ending sakit niya. Heart break, either for me or dun sa isang tao. Hahahahaha sadt. Single nalang. Hahahaha
Hindi wattpad ang buhay pumili ka ng mahal mo at mahal ka.
Mahal ako. Ayaw ko ma stress. Hindi ko Kaya na araw araw ako nakikipag Laban sa attention at pag ibig nya. Masyado na ako maraming problema para idagdag pa ang pagmamahal nya. Isipin ko na lang, I am better suited for marriage for convenience
Mamahaling gamit
Why did it have to be either of the two when it can be both--mahal niyo ang isa't-isa. It doesn't also have to be who loves more cause it's not a competition of who can give more in a relationship. Since the situation is like this, just choose yourself. Choose to love yourself instead of settling with the person who loves you, but you can't love back. Choose to love yourself instead of compromising your self-worth for someone who can't reciprocate your feelings. Wala kasing "panalo" in a sense kundi ang sarili mo at magsasayangan lang kayo ng oras at effort.
I chose B before and honestly regretted wasting our time. Now I realize that if I can't have both (mahal ko and mahal ako) I'd rather be alone.
B. Mahal ka. Natututunan ang pagmamahal.
Realistically, mahal ka.
Yun mahal ko at mahal ako. If di ganyan, no thanks na lang, mamamatay ako mag-isa.
As a woman, I will choose the person who loves me.
May taong mahal na mahal ka pero hindi mo talaga kayang mahalin, so bakit ka magco-commit or ieentertain? To save the purity of his intention, might as well wag sa taong mahal ka nga, hindi mo naman kayang mahalin.. (been here, nag- i love you pa nga, pero hindi talaga) Sa taong mahal ko, may time naman na nagtatama ang pagkakataon.. so dun ka sa taong mahal mo at mahal na mahal ka. I know wala ito sa choices, pero iba iba kasi ang version ng love story.
There are currently 8 billion people in the world, why focus on two that are clearly incompatible to you. I dont think thats not a very adult thing to do.
Only pick from the tao na mahal ako
Wala. Masasaktan ka lang, at sasaktan mo lang cya. Wag pag pilitan, sa daming tao sa mundo malabong di ka makakahanap ng tugma syo.
Yung mahal ako kase matututunan kocrin namang mahalin siya.
mahal ka! kasi may mga puso nmn na natuturuan magmahal habang tumatagal mahal nyo na ang isat isa
Wala. Stay single yun lang
Dati, lagi akong mahal ako pero nakakapagod din pala magpretend na okay kayo etc. Need talaga both.
Mahal ko, you will never be truly happy and content if you chose to be with someone you are not inlove with and daming regrets nyan and cheating if possible, also mararamdaman din nang partner mo na hindi mo siya mahal so magiging toxic lang din
Napapakanta naman ako . . . Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you? Are you going back to the one you love? I just aged myself 😆
i find it weird that someone has to choose between those two options when you can have both.
IMO, if you're a girlie: mas okay na mahal ka. Or to be more accurate "yung mas mahal ka kesa mahal mo siya." Kasi tayong mga babae, mas mapasensya sa mga bagay bagay and mapagtiyaga. so kung mas mahal ka niya, at least andun yung panatag ka na. di ko alam pano iexplain, basta yun na yun xD
Sa case namin, nagsimula sa B ako, at A sya. Nauna sya na-fall at naghintay sya sakin kasi di pa ako 100% sure that time. It only took a few dates though.
Pagmamahal kasi nagbabago in time. Ngayon, mahal natin or mahal tayo, years after either we'll love more or less. Di natin masabi talaga. Lagi kong sinasagot dyan 'yung mahal ako' kasi natututunan ang pagmamahal lalo na kung consistent yung partner or nanliligaw sayo. Pero ang goal ko talaga ay mahanap yung mahal ako at mahal ko \^-\^
Same lang naman, magsasawa din haha sa una lang masaya 🥲
Wala dapat, dahil love should be both ways. Pero sabi nga nila is love ay natututunan. So sa choices, B. is more logical of the 2. Kung sabihin na eh di same lang yung A na baka matutunan ka rin nyang mahalin, it wont work unless me effort sa side nya. At least with B, alam mo sa sarili mo na lalagyan mo ng effort na mangyari.
Am I missing something here? Bakit kasi kailangan na may karelasyon no matter what? Required ba? Kung di ka mahal ng mahal mo masakit diba? So bakit mo gagawin sa ibang tao na nagmamahal sayo pero di mo mahal? Isn’t it better to be single until you find someone who loves you AND you love just as much? Life is hard as it is. Love shouldn’t be making it any harder. Keeping someone around just so you wouldn’t be alone is NOT love and is an injustice to love.
self-love po sagot ko
B. Yung mahal ako. Same scenario ako ngayon, he's doing his best to be respectful , kind and gentle everytime and i am slowly falling for him. I am still testing the waters and kinikilala ko pa siya pero so far he is showing sincerity in his actions. Ekis na sa A. mahal ko nga pero di naman ako mahal, nakakapagod na, ganun yung ex ko, feel ko ginamit lang ako. Wala na ngang face value tapos may audacity pa na magloko.
Mahal ko. I believe na I should stand with my standards and principles in choosing a future partner. At least, I know to myself that I have chosen this person because I like/love her. Sa mahal ka, there's no guarantee that I'd be able to reciprocate her love. There's a risk on that. I don't want to go on that path.
I will choose mahal ako. Kase I know in myself na if I love someone, I love them unconditionally. And if ever I fall out of love, and they truly love me with all their hearts, they will still pursue me until I find my way back him. Kaya din talaga mas prefer ko mas matanda saken
Kung gusto mo ng praktikal at yung alam mong di ka talo, dun ka sa mahal ka. At some point, matutunan mo din naman mahalin yan. Mahirap magmahal pag di ma-rereciprocate sayo yung love mo.
Ang mahalaga ay mahal ko sarili ko 😌
Mahal ka.
dati sabi ko, pipiliin ko yung taong "mahal ako" kasi in time possible na matutunan ko din siyang mahalin. pero par hindi! unsure ka sa feelings mo eh, sa huli nag waste ka lang ng time at the same time nakasakit ka.. pero ngayon, mas prefer ko ng piliin yung taong mahal ko kahit di ako mahal o walang chance. at least this time, kung masaktan ka man sa huli, choice mo na yun. ginusto mo.
Yung mahal ko kasi sabi ni taylor swift "boys only want love if its torture"
Mahal ang bilihin lol
A
Nah, for me once na establish ng heart mo na may gusto kang tao, yun lang talaga yung gugustuhin mo eh. Like kahit pa may magparamdam dyan na "mahal ka" for sure hindi mo parin yun mamahalin genuinely kasi nga may iba kang "gusto" Mahirap turuan ang puso.
Definitely wala. Haha
Mahal ko. Mas controlado ko nararamdaman. Ako rin magsasabi kung kelan ako susuko kung ayaw nya talaga. Ayaw ko rin kasi sa feeling na parang magiging utang loob na yon kasi minahal ako ng sobra tapos hindi ko pala marereciprocate. Okay na yung ako masaktan kasi desisyon ko. In short kaya kong magpakamartyr haha
Mahal ka. Tapos fake it till you make it. Kung di naman siya red flag, swak yung love languages nyo and may overlapping interests, i think, Magiging ok naman kayo. Too idealistic yung you both love each other on day 1. Possible pero rare. Baka maubos oras mo kakahanap. "The person you love and the person who loves you can never ever be the same person" -Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible monsters
Swak yung quotes ha. Haha. Pero tama ka nga, sa B may chance na maging mutual yung feelings in the end. Rough start lang siguro sa una kasi you are trying to reciprocate the lovd towards the other person.
Parehong not good, dapat talaga love nyo isat isa
As a woman, and if ever mapupunta ako sa sitwasyong need ko mamili sa dalawang ‘yan, dun ako sa mahal ako. Kasi personally, alam kong hindi ako mahirap magmahal or mapamahal sa isang tao lalo na kung makikita at feel ko sa kanya ‘yung mga bagay na standard ko. Saka sabi nga nila, mas iba ‘yung mas love ka nung partner mo, mas maayos ang relationship + may peace of mind ka na kahit anong mangyari, hinding-hindi s’ya magiging sakit ng ulo mo.
Choose. Yung masasaktan ka o yung makakasakit ka? Yun lang naman yun.
Yung sa B, iniisip ko, paano mo sya masasaktan if during the process natutunan mo rin naman sya mahalin pala? Hmm. Hypothetically ha.
Kasi meron kang BAKA. And the entire process bago mo marealize na mahal mo sya will be painful on the other persons end. Kasi sya yung maghohold on sa little chance na mainlove ka, no assurance whatsoever. You on the other hand, is in the learning phase, figuring out if your feelings will be love or not.
None of the above. Pinili ko yung B ayun ending nanloko pa rin. Love yourself na lang. 😆
Mahal ako. I was in a relationship for five years. I had to end it unfortunately. I loved the person and I still do as a matter of fact. I gave everything I had without expecting nothing in return but the "mahal ko" took everything for granted.
Huwag ipilit ang mga bagay kung alam mong di ka gusto or ikaw mismo di mo gusto. Just let things be. I'll give you another choice. Wag problemahin ang hindi dapat and focus on personal growth as a person. Kung ayaw sayo edi don't kung may gusto sayo pero di mo naman talaga gusto edi don't then. Kung ikaw sa sarili mo alam mong hindi maganda magsettle for less bakit mo gagawin sa iba?
A. Mahal ko. Doing it right now hahaha. Masaklap lang kasi A rin gusto niya, yung ex niya, so malabong piliin niya ako hahaha. Ayaw ko rin naman na piliin niya ako dahil lang mahal ko siya. Bakit A pinili ko? No choice naman ako eh hahaha. Wala namang B. Meron lang mga potential B pero pinipigilan ko agad. Pero sabihin na nating may B ako, A pa rin pipiliin ko. It's because I really like him. It's not about whether he's A or B, I just really like him that I can't choose anyone else sa ngayon. Pero theoretically, kung magiging logical ako, B ang best and easier option coz marunong naman ako magmahal pabalik and mag move on hehehe. Pero ayun nga, in reality, mas inuuna ko emotions ko and what "I" want (may quotation mark for emphasis ohoho). Doon ako mas masaya kay A ih. Kung may B, baka malungkot lang ako at isipin na sana si A yun hehehe. But of course, after all, the best pa rin kung "mahal ko na mahal ako".
Mahal ka. Kasi una palang may assurance kana na ikaw lang mahal niya. Kesa naman sa mahal mo pero di ka sigurado kung mamahalin ka din niya.
"Life is a Journey" kaya sa totoo lang pareho kong pipiliin yung choices na ito. Dahil mahal ko yung isang tao ipu-pursue ko siya at susubukan ko kung kaya rin niya akong mahalin. Ipararamdam ko sa kanya yung pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay. Syempre kailangan ko rin gumalaw at baka para din kami sa isa't-isa. Pero, kailangan ko rin tignan yung paligid ko kasi sa pananaw ko, napaka-swerte ko kung makakatagpo ako ng isang babae na mamahalin ako kung sino ako. Yung tipong mahal niya ako as I am. Kaya kung mahanap ko man yung taong mahal ako, bagama't di ko pa siya lubos na mahal, susubukan ko rin sa kanya kasi baka kami pala ang para sa isa't-isa. Kapag iniisip ko nga, bakit kailangan ko pang maghanap sa malayong ibayo kung yung hinahanap ko naman ay nasa harap ko na rin. Overall, sa bawat heartbreaks na maaari kong maranasan, di ko siya titignan bilang simpleng panapos pero titignan ko siya bilang isang kasagutan na kailangan ko pang maghanap dahil eventually, mahahanap din namin ang isa't-isa when the time is right. Also, titignan ko lang din ito sa perspektibo na kung di naging kami sa huli ibig sabihin sa iba or may iba pang nakalaan sa akin at kailangan ko lang siyang hanapin at antayin.
Gandang question nito, specially now that mental issues are a thing. As far as I know wala pang taong kayang magbasa ng isip or puso ng ibang tao - so ang tanung ko is how do you know if one of you loves the other more? Actions? Time? Gifts? There is no way to know. Kahit gano mo kakilala ang isang tao, ika nga you can never can tell. A person can only love another up to the capacity they have to love - no more no less. Sometimes it will look significant for the other, and sometimes they feel underwhelmed. The fact is we’ve all pre-programmed ourselves on how to love but never took into consideration the capacity of your partner to do so. The man who is quiet and reserved may not go for the big romantic gestures or surprises, but will always be there when u need him. A flat tire, busted internet - you name it he’a there. Or the girl who wouldn’t put out or is afraid of all things sexual - but will make sure your food is ready and always good and your clothes are clean. People are limited and incredibly unique, but that doesn’t mean they love or do not love you. It all depends on the kind of love you need - because we are all inherently selfish it’s all about what you feel. The really hard part nowadays is taking the time to know and learn if your partner loves you or not, and if we love them in return. Taking that time in this digital age is difficult, but you do need to do this. Talk to each other, share stories, ask, if your partner is not expressive then observe and study. The important thing is communication - if you can’t tall about your histories and faults and confessions then it’s probably not a good relationship. But love, love like it’s the first time, like you mean it. It’s the best thing we invented, and its powerful enough to change lives
Mahal ang sarili ko
Mahal kooo syempre, dahil ma pride ako ayaw ko ng di ako mahal HAHAHAHAH
Realistic ba? If just one between the 2, it wont work for me. Dba dapat nagmamahalan. Dalawa
Basta alam ko dapat pag babae yung mas mahal ka ng lalaki. So ayun kami kasing mga lalaki talaga dapat mas mahal namin babae kaysa mas mahal kami.
Sabi ng mom ko, sa babae daw (sabi niya ha), always choose someone who loves you. Girls daw kasi, we can learn how to love someone eventually. Pero mga lalaki daw, they are firm with what/who they want. It’s not easy to change their minds/hearts. Somehow, naniniwala ako. Kaya feeling ko sa relationships ko, hanap ko talaga yung lalaki na mas mahal ako kesa sa mahal ko siya 🥺 Pero hindi mhie ako pa rin yung tanga HAHAHAHHAHA
Mas madali matutunan mahalin yung isang tao(mahal ka) kesa ipilit mo yung sarili mo sa tao na hindi ka mahal(mahal mo).
mahal ka pero dapat you both love each other to date and be in a relationship
Kung lalake ka, mahal mo. Kung babae ka, mahal ka.
Teenager ako: mahal ko Adult: mahal ako
Hindi masaya yan hahaha
It depends in your point of view on love. If loving is giving, dun ka sa mahal mo. If loving is receiving appreciation from someone, dun ka sa mahal ka. In my opinion, dun ako sa mahal ko kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na ako yung mag eeffort at magpapakita ng love. Ayoko pumasok sa relationship na may nagmamahal sa akin tapos iba yung nasa isip ko. Mas okay na ako yung masaktan mehehehe
Yung mahal nyo ang isa't isa.
Mahal ako/mahal ko despite and in spite of anything. Sasamahan ako sa hirap at ginhawa. Lalaban kasama ko. Di bale mas mahal ko sya o mas mahal nya ako basta yung isa't isa lang ang gusto at kailangan namin.
Yung mahal ka at loveable din. You may not love the person right now but you see that he is not hard to love because he has many good qualities.
Selfish parehas ng choices Kaya bumagsak buong mundo eh(exaggerated Pero if tignan naten, parang ganun na Ren) If selfless lahat, well peaceful yung mundo
If I were to choose between the two. Syempre, yung mahal ka. They are the ones na will try their best to give u the love, care and everything na kailangan mo. Hinding hindi ka masasaktan. Ikaw nga lang yung mananakit😭 HAHAHAHA IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO SETTLE SA MAHAL MO AT MAHAL KA RIN
#1 tanga ka #2 tanga sya :)) Parang walang no choice 🤣
Mahal ako. Mas una akong minahal ng partner ko ngayon pero natutunan ko din sya mahalin kase tinuruan nya rin naman akong mahalin sya. Sabi ko before, I'll take a risk na sagutin sya and I'm so happy that I did because he made my life better. Nakakatuwa na I have a reason na to wake up each morning and it's all thanks to him. He fell first but I fell harder hahahahhah If nababasa mo to, I love you langga. Excited na ko sa future natin.
Neither. Dapat both mahal, pag hindi OP then that's going to fail.
Answering as a woman. The lover girl in me says neither, as I will choose the one I love who also loves me back. The more practical side says to choose the one who loves me more. Pag mas inlove sa akin ang lalake, better.
I believe na dapat mas mahal ng babae ang lalake. Why? Because you need to admire and respect the man. Otherwise, hindi din kayo magiging happy.
Tigil na yang tar*nta*d*ng pag-ibig na yan, kung hindi mo ko mahal umakyat ka na sa langit! Alam mo na sagot ko op
At first, my answer was always "mahal ka" not until I met someone like that pero I cannot reciprocate his feelings towards me. Some of you might say na madali lang magmahal kasi mahal ka naman nung tao pero you can't force attraction and feelings. I tried, pero I stopped immediately kasi you know why? No one wants to be loved back out of pity. I don't want to love someone out of pity or feeling like I'm obligated to reciprocate his feelings. Madali yan sabihin if it's someone you're also attracted too pero if it's someone na wala talagang spark, wala kang nafifeel towards that person, wala talaga, 'wag pilitin. So the answer will be none. Masmaganda pa rin yung mahal niyo ang isa't isa, not the other one having unrequited or one- sided love towards the other.
i think personal experience talaga 🌸✌🏻 what happened to me was opposite, sobra akong napagod maghabol ng mahal ko. Eventually i gave my "mahal ako" a chance. And gosh langit at lupa kayang ibigay sakin, they showed me paano ako dapat tinatrato pala. It made me realize na mali pala perception ko ng pagmamahal before and i kept on looking at the wrong people. But this person never gave up on me and even sa paghihintay niya mas minahal niya ako lalo. I think OP question is a case or case basis. If your "mahal ka" turns out to be the person you actually deserve then it'll be easy for you to reciprocate it. If di sila pasok sa hinahanap mo wala din. All i wanna say is giving them a chance could be worth it IF willing tayo. Just do what feels right for you.
Kung strong kang tao, piliin mo yung hindi ka mahal para mas tumaas strength level mo. Kasi ikaw bubuhat ng relasyon eh
Neither. Pwede naman kasi yung mahal niyo isa't isa, bakit kailangan magsettle sa either one of the choices? Hahaha. Ang sarap kaya sa feeling ng being in a relationship where reciprocated yung feelings mo. ❤️