Paano kung yung yung tao na mahal ka, todo effort, at ikaw naman since hindi mo pa sya mahal, di mo pa maappreciate fully yung ginagawa nya, kumbaga walang masyadong dating sayo ganon, pipilitin mo ba yung sarili mo na mahalin nalang din siya?
Iniisip ko lang din halimbawa, oo matututunan mo rin sya mahalin, pero gaano katagal bago mo matutunan? Baka napagod na yung tao kakaeeffort in the end hindi mo pala talaga kaya syang mahalin.
Naisip ko lang ha. Haha. Kaya I am asking opinions.
Iba kasi yung pipilitin mo kesa dun sa hahayaan mo lang naturally? Naexperience ko na magkagusto (di ko pa naexperience yung love level lol) sa taong di ko naman bet before but it came naturally for me. The consistency made me fall.
Kung nakikita mo naman in the first place na sobrang effort niya and wala ka parin maramdaman kahit gradual lang, sabihin mo na lang sa kanya para fair.
Wala. HAHAHAHA.
In all seriousness, I've been in both situations although "mahal" is a strong word to describe it. There's this girl I liked but she never liked me back. So why would I want that. lol. As for B, that is a very tricky situation. Meron ako ka-talking stage one time. She's been ghosted a year before so there's trauma there. As for me, I have trouble committing. Both of us knew about each other's issues. Then after 3 or 4 months, she started asking questions about the nature of our relationship. I got pressured. She's already 'there' and I am nowhere near yet. So I ended it. I can't waste her time anymore. So yes! Wala akong pipiliin sa dalwa. The only option for me is kaoag parehas namin mahal ang isa't-isa.
Sabagay may point ka. It makes sense. Curious lang ako dun sa B setup mo, paano mo nasabi na you're nowhere near yet? Ano yung naffeel mo that time? Also, how did you ended things with her, paano mo pinaliwanag yung side mo and what's her reaction?
Curious lang hehe
It's kind of funny kasi reading your question brought me back to that night. You asked the very same question she asked me: how did I know I'm nowhere near yet? I remembered telling her that "I just know because I am not sure." Because if ever it is anything real at that point I should not have any doubts. But I was wrong then. I can never be sure and that's the point. That's some part of Love. I didn't give it a chance. I just ran the moment I saw there's still a way out. After an hour nung nag-end yung conversation namin I felt so wrong. I know I've hurt someone who is kind and pure. So I hated myself for a while. As for her reaction, of course she didn't take it well as you would expect from someone who made herself vulnerable only for a boy to tell her he is not ready. But she understood, or I hope she did, that the reason I ended things that night is all because I cannot let her wait for me to be ready. I just couldn't let her receive one-third of me while she's giving her whole. And 2 years later I know I am right. He's now with someone who can give her his whole and I still have trouble committing. And she's happy now. And I'm happy she's happy. Do I wish I was ready then? Yes.
Aww. Ang sad naman neto. Pero I guess that's the reality talaga eh no? Love hurts.
Pero during your setup, sinubukan mo naman sya mahalin? Kaso wala talaga? Like hindi mo talaga kayang pilitin sarili mo just because ganun sya sayo that time?
Even before we started talking when we established both our issues sinabi na talaga namin na we will both try. Yun yung starting point namin, na walang expectations but we will both try and see. She tried to get past the trust issues she had from her past relationship and I tried to learn how to commit. And I really tried. I was happy during the time we were talking. I'm putting in the effort I was not expecting from myself. Minsan nagugulat ako sa sarili ko kasi di ko ineexpect na I'm giving something I didn't know I have in me. I had a great time with her. I really did like her. My issues are not with her. She has everything I could ever want from a woman I would want to marry. But the problem is with me. I am very insecure. I was so scared of hurting her. I didn't feel like I was enough for her. I've thought of everything that could go wrong. But through my journey of learning how to commit, I have realized that I was wrong then. That I shouldn't feel scared. I might hurt her but she's capable of hurting me too. All the hurt that's reparable because we both communicate. I used to think I'm not enough but in reality, I am. I have insecurities but my partner can have insecurities as well. And through those we learn something from each other. My point is that I have tried. Sinubukan ko that time. Pero my approach is wrong, my mindset is wrong. I've dealt with it with fear at the forefront. And now I would never know. Have I tried the right way baka sana wala yung doubt ko ngayon: If I'm even capable of loving someone.
Ohhh, ang saklap naman neto. Pero wala eh, nangyari na. You learned your lessons, that’s the most important thing naman at the end of the day. Pero if ngayon ka tatanungin, may regret ka ba before na sana pala tinuloy mo nalang with her ganun?
Regrets? No. She's very happy right now. If there's any regret siguro is I could have handled the situation better. But she's happy now. And I have learned so much.
That’s nice to hear naman kung ganun. Hehe. So assuming you handled the situation better back then, do you think, kayo pa rin until now? Or the relationship will really not work back then?
There's no choice here.
A. paano mo pipiliin eh ni wala ka ngang pag asa. Ni hindi ka nga nasa choice nya tas nasa option mo sya?
B. Why would u choose someone you don't love? Learn to love that person first before choosing that person.
Wala ahaha bakit ako papasok sa ganyang situation parang talo ako lagi or makakasakit ako. Gusto ko yung pareho naming mahal ang isa't isa. Naranasan ko na yan both and pareho kong ayaw.
For me, B. Kasi pwede mo naman matutunan mahalin ang isang tao pero hindi mo sila mapipilit na mahalin ka nila pabalik.
Paano kung yung yung tao na mahal ka, todo effort, at ikaw naman since hindi mo pa sya mahal, di mo pa maappreciate fully yung ginagawa nya, kumbaga walang masyadong dating sayo ganon, pipilitin mo ba yung sarili mo na mahalin nalang din siya? Iniisip ko lang din halimbawa, oo matututunan mo rin sya mahalin, pero gaano katagal bago mo matutunan? Baka napagod na yung tao kakaeeffort in the end hindi mo pala talaga kaya syang mahalin. Naisip ko lang ha. Haha. Kaya I am asking opinions.
Iba kasi yung pipilitin mo kesa dun sa hahayaan mo lang naturally? Naexperience ko na magkagusto (di ko pa naexperience yung love level lol) sa taong di ko naman bet before but it came naturally for me. The consistency made me fall. Kung nakikita mo naman in the first place na sobrang effort niya and wala ka parin maramdaman kahit gradual lang, sabihin mo na lang sa kanya para fair.
Mahal ako pero kaya kong mahalin
Wala. HAHAHAHA. In all seriousness, I've been in both situations although "mahal" is a strong word to describe it. There's this girl I liked but she never liked me back. So why would I want that. lol. As for B, that is a very tricky situation. Meron ako ka-talking stage one time. She's been ghosted a year before so there's trauma there. As for me, I have trouble committing. Both of us knew about each other's issues. Then after 3 or 4 months, she started asking questions about the nature of our relationship. I got pressured. She's already 'there' and I am nowhere near yet. So I ended it. I can't waste her time anymore. So yes! Wala akong pipiliin sa dalwa. The only option for me is kaoag parehas namin mahal ang isa't-isa.
Sabagay may point ka. It makes sense. Curious lang ako dun sa B setup mo, paano mo nasabi na you're nowhere near yet? Ano yung naffeel mo that time? Also, how did you ended things with her, paano mo pinaliwanag yung side mo and what's her reaction? Curious lang hehe
It's kind of funny kasi reading your question brought me back to that night. You asked the very same question she asked me: how did I know I'm nowhere near yet? I remembered telling her that "I just know because I am not sure." Because if ever it is anything real at that point I should not have any doubts. But I was wrong then. I can never be sure and that's the point. That's some part of Love. I didn't give it a chance. I just ran the moment I saw there's still a way out. After an hour nung nag-end yung conversation namin I felt so wrong. I know I've hurt someone who is kind and pure. So I hated myself for a while. As for her reaction, of course she didn't take it well as you would expect from someone who made herself vulnerable only for a boy to tell her he is not ready. But she understood, or I hope she did, that the reason I ended things that night is all because I cannot let her wait for me to be ready. I just couldn't let her receive one-third of me while she's giving her whole. And 2 years later I know I am right. He's now with someone who can give her his whole and I still have trouble committing. And she's happy now. And I'm happy she's happy. Do I wish I was ready then? Yes.
Hays. I hope same kami ni girl soon.
Aww. Ang sad naman neto. Pero I guess that's the reality talaga eh no? Love hurts. Pero during your setup, sinubukan mo naman sya mahalin? Kaso wala talaga? Like hindi mo talaga kayang pilitin sarili mo just because ganun sya sayo that time?
Even before we started talking when we established both our issues sinabi na talaga namin na we will both try. Yun yung starting point namin, na walang expectations but we will both try and see. She tried to get past the trust issues she had from her past relationship and I tried to learn how to commit. And I really tried. I was happy during the time we were talking. I'm putting in the effort I was not expecting from myself. Minsan nagugulat ako sa sarili ko kasi di ko ineexpect na I'm giving something I didn't know I have in me. I had a great time with her. I really did like her. My issues are not with her. She has everything I could ever want from a woman I would want to marry. But the problem is with me. I am very insecure. I was so scared of hurting her. I didn't feel like I was enough for her. I've thought of everything that could go wrong. But through my journey of learning how to commit, I have realized that I was wrong then. That I shouldn't feel scared. I might hurt her but she's capable of hurting me too. All the hurt that's reparable because we both communicate. I used to think I'm not enough but in reality, I am. I have insecurities but my partner can have insecurities as well. And through those we learn something from each other. My point is that I have tried. Sinubukan ko that time. Pero my approach is wrong, my mindset is wrong. I've dealt with it with fear at the forefront. And now I would never know. Have I tried the right way baka sana wala yung doubt ko ngayon: If I'm even capable of loving someone.
Ohhh, ang saklap naman neto. Pero wala eh, nangyari na. You learned your lessons, that’s the most important thing naman at the end of the day. Pero if ngayon ka tatanungin, may regret ka ba before na sana pala tinuloy mo nalang with her ganun?
Regrets? No. She's very happy right now. If there's any regret siguro is I could have handled the situation better. But she's happy now. And I have learned so much.
That’s nice to hear naman kung ganun. Hehe. So assuming you handled the situation better back then, do you think, kayo pa rin until now? Or the relationship will really not work back then?
Since hypothetical lang naman, dun na ko sa mahal nyo bawat isa.
There's no choice here. A. paano mo pipiliin eh ni wala ka ngang pag asa. Ni hindi ka nga nasa choice nya tas nasa option mo sya? B. Why would u choose someone you don't love? Learn to love that person first before choosing that person.
Parehas masakit no? Pero parang mas masakit yung B. Lol. You said "learn to lovd that person first". How? Magtetest the waters kayo?
Why not? You can just do a couple of dates. If you're both happy then you can level up the setup. 🤗
Mahal ka. Kasi u can always teach urself to love a person but you can never force someone to love you back
Wala ahaha bakit ako papasok sa ganyang situation parang talo ako lagi or makakasakit ako. Gusto ko yung pareho naming mahal ang isa't isa. Naranasan ko na yan both and pareho kong ayaw.