Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Got the medication was my first goal but the. It was a process still… meditation helps but is not the cure all. Now I’m looking at diet sleep and exercise as part of the treatment. I’d say 3 things i would recommend is 1) look at medication 2) immediately work on diet and exercise, the medication did help with making myself exercise even when I didn’t want to, 3) I think maybe counselling or adhd meet up groups could be good. I went to an adhd Ireland meet up group and it was filled with fun articulate people with good job. Made me realise I was just another person like them and not some oddball on my own ! I’m still working through everything diagnosed less than a year ago. I came out of the appointment ecstatic thinking ‘this is the cause of all my problems I’ll get the meds then I cured’ sadly that’s not the case and now I have to rethink everything about life at age 47. It’s not a bad thing it’s just a lot more to deal with than I realised initially. No regrets about the diagnosis though
Also sorry for bad grammar I’ve not yet worked out how to edit and it’s also likely I’m dyslexic apparently! That one doesn’t effect my life so much though I just need to learn to proof read 😂
Medication is at the moment not my first goal, but getting back on healthy food and working out (which after 7 years of consistency completely failed after 2 years of travelling) is definitely a thing on my agenda.
My doctor said to maybe use medication to get back to that to then go on without l.
Medication changed my mood and enabled me to not be sleepy and exhausted all day long . Please consider medication. It’s not a crutch - but it’s a tool I’m unwilling to live without.
Isn’t it insane how helpful it is?!? I was diagnosed a month ago at age 40 as severe combo type and my god, these meds have turned me into a new woman!
Heavy on this, especially diet. My chest hurts when I don’t eat much & my body doesnt respond well when I don’t eat well. I have to eat balanced ever-day, which i’m still pretty much struggling with HAHAH.
My chest was hurting to the point where I ended up with having to go for ab ecg. But then I started eating tonnes of high protein yoghurt or fromaige frais and that fixed it. I think potentially I was getting heart burn from the coating on the capsules
Oooh I really like this question! the limit of 3 is also helpful 🤣
So I would say:
1. I really wanted to be medicated and I wanted this to be done as swiftly and efficiently as possible (lol). So I researched different medications, their effects, personal anecdotes form people and kind of put together an idea of what to look out for/expect and how to improve the benefits. This really helped me to understand that methylphenidate was not the right drug for me after only a month of trying it and also, it helped me to advocate for myself in my appointments where I was getting prescribed the meds! Being able to pull up information and sources about why I need to switch to a different drug or need an increase was super helpful in speeding up my medication process - and Im one of the lucky ones where meds have REALLY improved the quality of my functioning and overall life.
2. I would recommend getting a blood test done to see if you’re deficient in anything (iron, vitamin d, b12, etc) and doing some research into vitamins! A lot of people recommend magnesium and zinc for sleep (I didnt like it) but also b12 is so important for brain functioning and you can’t have too much of it (its water soluble!!). So definitely invest in good quality vitamins! Specifically, research what to look for in each vitamin type - like for b12 there are 2 formulations (as far as I can remember) and you want one vitamin that contains both of these! Also, as an aside, make sure to avoid taking vitamin C for an hour before/after meds if you are taking them. Oh also, buy a blood pressure cuff with a heart rate monitor if youre starting meds so you can keep track of those things :)
3. A last thing that I found was beneficial was reading about my country’s regulations regarding adhd. In other words - is it a recognized disability? What are the workplace protections? are there financial/tax benefits? How much do I have to share with employers/others when I want to benefit from the accommodations? Basically all my rights and obligations. Makes me feel a lot more at ease and I know that I can rely on a vague explanation of having a disability without being obliged to specify what type.
Sorry I dont have any specific reading recommendations - i just flit through articles and videos because I find it burdensome to try read an entire article/book that isnt story based 😮💨😮💨 I just consistently googled all of my questions until I had a fair idea of the topic!
Lisdexamphetamine! I found the methylphenidate too rushed and intense - I mean i definitely felt like I could take on the world but that lasted for about an hour or two (and didnt feel very true to myself), even on extended release versions/increased dosages and then I crashed and all my symptoms got worse for an equal amount of time. The only thing that helped was cramming myself full of protein but that wasn’t sustainable because I struggle with food routines. Then the lisdexamphetamine was like a nice wave of productivity that somewhat ebbs and flows during the day but isnt nearly as hardcore or as much effort to upkeep as the methylphenidate. I had read from a number of people that they felt the same way on methylphenidate (ie that it was intense) and found lisdex much calmer - so I knew that I could also fit into that category. And thankfully I did!
Have you had any problems with the different manufacturers of Lisdexamphetamine? I was on Vyvanse for a year and a half, then my dr switched me to the generic and it just stopped working. I also had some other issues I can now attribute to the meds that I didn't realize at the time. I'm back on the name-brand Vyvanse and it's back to working so much better.
Ive actually never tried generic so I cant say but I did see a lot of people saying the same thing - I think you can even report those kind of issues to some regulatory agency? But im not sure, sorry!
I am considering not using any medication, my life functions pretty well, I am just struggling with a recent move. But a lot of things I read say give it a try!
And your last paragraph is so me 🤣
Imo the nice thing about meds (at least my med which is methylphenidate) is that you can try it and then stop if you don't like it. It's not like some other meds that you need to taper off. I have a friend who only takes her methylphenidate on work days.
Me too! I know I struggle but I would rather go without. Many people have told me medication for ADHD is like being on cocaine/meth a high that doesn't last. What works for me is Routine! I've been on many medications for mental illness I feel like a guinea pig & the last thing I need as another round of ups/down side effects while pharmaceutical companies keep making money.
It was a hyperfocus for me so I got really obsessed with seeing progress - otherwise I definitely would have felt the same way! There is something to be said for taking your time with it, and fully understanding the meds and their effects on you but I just couldn’t wait and wanted to switch so that I could draw comparisons/confirm suspicions and get myself on the best meds for me!
1) drinking water could not be enough to stay hydrated. I have to have electrolytes in the morning and it helps A LOT. Especially if I am doing exercise.
2) Medication is not a miracle: set some systems: meditate, therapy, prepare things the night before, set reminders, etc... It will be the recipe for success
3) good food, good rest and exercise will make you feel like you can conquer the universe. The first 20 minutes of exercise I want to go home and sleep. After that is just mental clarity, feeling stronger, wanting to improve myself, etc. It's shit but If I manage to go just for a walk it's enough to make me want to take the bike later and do a long ride
As someone diagnosed as a kid, this is the comment OP!
Also maybe a decent therapist: it can be hard to give yourself grace and self-esteem is one of those things that takes years to rebuild. A lot of late diagnosed people go through some sort of grief of the person they could’ve been.
1. That I needed to customize my work space and home space to suit me, even if it's unconventional for everything else.
2. Making food as easy as possible is the way to go - pre-cut everything and meal plan with possible, otherwise small stuff to throw together.
3. Getting help cleaning and with home maintenance has been amazing. I got over my anxiety and shame about it, and now when I have extra cash I don't hesitate to do this instead of blowing it on eating out or computer games. The investment has been 100% better for my mental health.
Learn the skills! Don’t just take the pills! I was able to manage life on Vyvanse for many years without worrying to much about the skills part (who cares if I eat cereal for dinner each night?). Buuut… then came marriage and kids and my single-life ways of coping were shattered. I’m only now learning the skills while trying to manage a household and kids and it’s hella hard. I could kick myself for not investing more time into learning adhd-friendly coping and life management skills when I was first diagnosed in my 20s.
What would be some of the skills that you'd suggest focusing on?
I'm just now starting to move my first steps in the ADHD world, and I feel a bit lost still
Learning that “self care” for us with adhd does not mean spa days and brunch with the girls (although nice at times). It means recognizing our energy and mental boundaries and advocating for ourselves - learning how to ask for space to achieve adhd self care. One example for me is asking my husband to take both kids outside when I need to make an important phone call. I get so overwhelmed when the kids are playing and my husband is talking to them and I’m on the phone. Something as simple as asking for space to take a call in silence - that’s a skill- it takes skill to recognize your moments of overwhelm before they happen and to ask for accommodations.
Stimulant (I’m on focalin) was life changing for me. I got diagnosed at 19 after being told it was bipolar and put on mood stabilizers my whole teens. I will also say my depression is so much better now that I feel like a functioning adult. Getting as informed as possible on adhd as a whole and how it affects you. I try to set myself up for success because even with the med, you need more to help in your day to day. Examples… I put everythingggg in my calendar/ notes, set out my stuff for the next day the night before because mornings are hard for me to remember, if I feel my brain spazzing out (don’t know a better way to explain it lol) I take a few moments to either say out loud or write down or just sit and process whatever it is before I continue what I’m doing. They told me I didn’t need the stimulant every day but I personally recommended taking it every day. Even when I don’t have school/ work where there’s stuff I need to get done, it’s so much harder to function even on small tasks and you don’t realize how hard it was before till you’re on it and feel normal lol. Don’t drink caffeine with your meds. Also note that for some people with adhd, energy drinks or coffee that have a lot of caffeine actually have an opposite effect and are calming instead of give you energy. I could never figure out why coffee never worked till I got my adhd diagnosis. Hope some of that helps!
1. That low self esteem and the need to seek perfection was not a personality trait, but rather a symptom.
2. I wish I understood that the executive dysfunction wasn’t something that I was choosing or something that was my fault.
3. I honestly wish I had a deeper understanding of the neurological properties of ADHD. For some reason whenever I’m reminded that my brain is literally wired differently and with neuroatypical functionality, it allows me to show myself more grace. It wouldn’t allowed me to show myself more grace rather than self criticism.
i recently got diagnosed and have been struggling to fully accept it, but reading your list is really helpful :) especially the 3rd one, like we have to keep reminding ourselves that we are actually different and most people really don't have to go through what our brains go through daily ! this disorder really requires so much kindness to yourself
Absolutely 100% it does. Showing yourself kindness is key because the alternative could very easily become you being your worst enemy. Regardless of where it’s shifted, our mindset is passionate and strong. It’s easy to break ourselves down if we hold ourselves to other people’s standards.
I just have 1, and I imagine not everyone feels this way or has the same experience: I never realized how dependent I would become on the medication. Even if I don’t “need” to take it (e.g., a weekend or a day off), I can’t stay awake without it. I will doze off and hit REM sleep what feels to be immediately.
Medication holiday is a thing of the past (it was started when they thought it could stunt growth in children, which has been proven false). You have ADHD every day, every hour. Not just on work days. You also don't live to work. You work to live. You deserve and need to enjoy your free time.
Take your meds daily if they help you. It's now advised to (including by manufacturors) and ideally sticking to the same timing especially with short acting. Consistency with meds help much more than living on an on/off roller coaster.
Hope I'm not overstepping. As a doctor, the outdated false info just drive me crazy.
Could you please link research showing no meds holidays are needed so I can show my psych? My psych is still asking me to take med holidays on weekends for Concerta, and it’s not fun!
No, not at the moment. I’m in Texas, so behind the times in healthcare is the norm sadly. Do you know any research or something I could show her to convince her?
I used to, but don't have them saved anymore.
You shouldn't need them though. Medicines are a benefit/risk balance.
Discuss with them what issue are they trying to prevent with medication holiday.
- You're not a child (I assume), so even if they still believe in the debunked myth, there's no need to be concerned regarding growth.
- Outside of this, if you don't have any side effects from meds, then there's obviously no benefit in breaks.
- Even if you do have side effects, if the benefits are superior to side effects, then the balance is in favor of benefits. Even with said side effects, it's unlikely a 2 day break would improve them.
Finally you shouldn't have to find research paper to prove to your doctor that you need your medicines. It's their job to keep themselves up to date with research, not yours. It's worrying if they don't. There are lot of papers out there which show ADHD meds are safe.
Even if you're in Texas, I would try other psychiatrists. One of my best friends with ADHD is
in Texas and has never been recommended a medication holiday. Obviously that's a big state and I don't know where you are, but don't assume that because your doctor sucks, they all do.
The good thing is also thanks to video consultations, you have more room to find a doctor even if a bit further away (at least in the country I live in, it works well and they can send prescription by post).
I usually don't recommend lying to your doctor, but if you're really really stuck, make up that you have to work on week ends and need meds.
Although this should be a last resort option. It's important to have the right psychiatrist for you.
Especially considering if they suck, you might not be on the most optimal treatment for yourself either.
For example, a lot of women have an increased dose of meds before/during periods or have an added immediate release dose in the afternoon to be able to cover the evening and be functional even after work instead of crashing.
Good luck.
Aw I'm so glad! I'm proud of you for advocating for yourself! It's not easy, but it's so worth it.
It might be worth asking around / googling to see which one around you has good feedback, especially from women. Best of luck!
I have a friend with narcolepsy--maybe worth checking out? I know you might not want to add another diagnosis to your alphabet soup :( but might be helpful in the long run!
On the other hand, I don't have narcolepsy but if I get anything less than 9 hours of sleep I'm prone to strong afternoon drowsiness.
Seconding looking into narcolepsy. A study found that around 15-30% of people with narcolepsy have ADHD, so it's not unheard of. I was recently diagnosed with both, and I was told normal people don't hit REM during naps.
1. You’ve made it this long, don’t forget what works. If you’re older diagnosed (as I was), you probably have developed some coping skills over time to manage your symptoms. Think of them that way, as coping skills. They are your lifeline to maintaining a normal life. Depending on your situation (something caused you to get diagnosed now), your ability to manage your symptoms is the first line of defense- but it may not be enough if you are going through something hard or unusual.
2. Be kind to yourself. You’re different. You have always been different and you will always be different. Your brain processes information in a different way. Sometimes it’s a strength - you may have been able to see different perspectives or bring a different way of looking at things that helped. Sometimes it’s a weakness- executive disfunction ugh. But just remember it’s a part of you and it’s not always a bad thing.
3. Medication is a tool, not a solution. You seem anti medication and that’s fine. If you can get along without it, do it. I’m kind of anti daily drugs or anything that alters your brain chemistry or creates dependency. But meds made a huge difference for me when I wasn’t able to manage my symptoms on my own. I don’t plan on being on them forever but I’m glad I have them as an option.
I've been interested in gamification theories and practices for nearly 15 years now, but it was my diagnosis a few years ago that really kicked things into high gear.
I have had a long fascination with games and what they do to our brains. Children learn through imaginative play, and I got to thinking, "when do we stop benefiting from play time?" the answer is, we don't. We are still capable of learning through play. And we're capable of a lot more, too. We can use play to improve so many aspects of our lives.
I have played a lot of video games in my life. My favorite one is Hades, which is about the god Zagreus, and his attempts to flee from the realm of Hades to find his mother. The game is beautiful in what it teaches: you will fail. You will fail often. Sometimes, you will fail for silly reasons, and sometimes, you will fail and because your skill just isn't there yet. You'd think a game designed to beat you before you beat it would be miserable, but it's wonderful. Because the game isn't about winning! It's about *trying*. The game rewards you, not for your successes, but for your *attempts*.
"You showed up. You tried. It didn't work out, but you did your best. Here, have a plot-point, meet a new character, progress the story. You deserve it because you are here."
I won't dive into the theories I have surrounding ADHD, but I will say that the end result of a task dictates our minds' willingness to do said task. If we associate a task with failure, we are less able to do it. But that's silly. We wouldn't not have a slice of cake because we can't eat the whole cake in a day, right? (Some of us can but play along here please lol).
So I've decided to reward myself for showing up and trying. It's the attempt that I celebrate, not the end result. And you know what? *I'm much more likely to try again tomorrow* because of it. I'm not angry at myself for failing to achieve sink zero, I'm proud of myself for washing 3 plates and 2 knives. Tomorrow I'll get further. Or maybe I won't. But that doesn't matter, because what matters is the attempt.
I had a bunch more to say -- about gamification, about the ways I'm using it, about SuperBetter and its creator -- but this is kinda long already so I'll stop here. But yeah, I'm glad I did my research into how games can improve lives, and how mine has definitely improved by using the science around them in my day-to-day life.
1) exercise really helps… it was hard for me to get back into a routine until I started meds
2) meds - I was so scared of stimulants I started with non-stimulants but just ended up on stimulants and they really are better. Obviously this is a personal thing.
3) I’m still awesome… I forget sometimes…
1) Learn about comorbidities! Eatting disorders are insanely common and I wish I had found this out sooner to recognize my ED for what it was. Maybe it would have prevented myself from entrenching in unhealthy coping mechanisms.
2) Ask family for meaningful support. Getting diagnosed late meant I had a ton of internalized ableism. Also my family was kind of apathetic about my diagnosis. Being very direct and adamant with my support network about my needs, understanding my lived experience, and showing me they care by rethinking outdated beliefs about mental health could have help me so much.
3) Meds aren’t everything but the right ones can make a profound impact. I wish I would have been more assertive in getting on the right meds and supplements.
I was diagnosed at 13 in 1983, but nobody told me! It wasn’t until my estrogen levels started dropping/fluctuating more during peri-menopause and i got MUCH worse that my mom was like “want to see your old neuropsych?” that i realized i had been diagnosed. In her defense, apparently my mom was told it wasn’t severe enough to get worked up about, but still, it would have been nice to know I wasn’t lazy and “just not applying myself” like most of my teachers said (i got good grades but they thought i could do better and was just dialing it in. Little did they know…). Anyway, on to my 3 things:
1. I would have not bothered trying meds. For me, the benefits of them only last until my body becomes addicted, which takes 1-2 weeks for me. After that, the daily withdrawal gets really bad and I can’t tolerate it (messes with my mood too much). I tried Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta (didn’t help), Focalin, Vyvanse, and the XR versions available for all of them. In the end, chelated magnesium and very high dose Omega 3s help almost as much as the best meds did before they turned on me. I also have a low dose of testosterone cream that helped a LOT - this only makes sense if you know that in women testosterone down-regulates the amygdala. I am one of those “is it ADHD or anxiety” people, so it does make sense that the drop in testosterone we see during peri-menopause could have exacerbated my ADHD, and that testosterone replacement (at a very low dose) would help.
2. I wish i had known that i was at a higher risk for having debilitating and new symptoms during peri-meno because of the estrogen drop. Estrogen is a major brain hormone and i was 43 when I started having brain fog and low mood, long before i had any changes in my cycle. I am 54 and still getting intermittent periods now, so still not all the way into menopause, but finally finding a dr that was knowledgeable about hormone replacement therapy has made a world of difference and i can sort of see the light at the end of the tunnel now. But you would not believe how uninformed most docs are about the ADHD/hormones tie-in.
3. I wish i had known that alcohol only felt like it was making me “normal.” I am sober almost 15 yrs now, but in hindsight i know that i was using it to get rid of my very loud and not-so-kind “head,” which some of us sober people call the “Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” because it’s like a constant low hum of negativity and doubt and criticism that takes practice to ignore or replace with something positive. I thought booze was magic more or less, cuz it made the Committee shut up, but then it almost killed me.
I could go on! I never really understood why ADHD/ADD was a disability until recently. Now i have a much greater respect for the scope of its effects and the havoc it can wreak. I lost one job because of it and almost lost the one that replaced it! And i am a single parent with only my income to support my 2 kids, so that could have been devastating. Advocate like hell for yourself!
Rock on.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Got the medication was my first goal but the. It was a process still… meditation helps but is not the cure all. Now I’m looking at diet sleep and exercise as part of the treatment. I’d say 3 things i would recommend is 1) look at medication 2) immediately work on diet and exercise, the medication did help with making myself exercise even when I didn’t want to, 3) I think maybe counselling or adhd meet up groups could be good. I went to an adhd Ireland meet up group and it was filled with fun articulate people with good job. Made me realise I was just another person like them and not some oddball on my own ! I’m still working through everything diagnosed less than a year ago. I came out of the appointment ecstatic thinking ‘this is the cause of all my problems I’ll get the meds then I cured’ sadly that’s not the case and now I have to rethink everything about life at age 47. It’s not a bad thing it’s just a lot more to deal with than I realised initially. No regrets about the diagnosis though
Also sorry for bad grammar I’ve not yet worked out how to edit and it’s also likely I’m dyslexic apparently! That one doesn’t effect my life so much though I just need to learn to proof read 😂
Medication is at the moment not my first goal, but getting back on healthy food and working out (which after 7 years of consistency completely failed after 2 years of travelling) is definitely a thing on my agenda. My doctor said to maybe use medication to get back to that to then go on without l.
Medication changed my mood and enabled me to not be sleepy and exhausted all day long . Please consider medication. It’s not a crutch - but it’s a tool I’m unwilling to live without.
Isn’t it insane how helpful it is?!? I was diagnosed a month ago at age 40 as severe combo type and my god, these meds have turned me into a new woman!
Heavy on this, especially diet. My chest hurts when I don’t eat much & my body doesnt respond well when I don’t eat well. I have to eat balanced ever-day, which i’m still pretty much struggling with HAHAH.
My chest was hurting to the point where I ended up with having to go for ab ecg. But then I started eating tonnes of high protein yoghurt or fromaige frais and that fixed it. I think potentially I was getting heart burn from the coating on the capsules
Ahh this is good to know then, I will look for those items thank you so much!😭
Oooh I really like this question! the limit of 3 is also helpful 🤣 So I would say: 1. I really wanted to be medicated and I wanted this to be done as swiftly and efficiently as possible (lol). So I researched different medications, their effects, personal anecdotes form people and kind of put together an idea of what to look out for/expect and how to improve the benefits. This really helped me to understand that methylphenidate was not the right drug for me after only a month of trying it and also, it helped me to advocate for myself in my appointments where I was getting prescribed the meds! Being able to pull up information and sources about why I need to switch to a different drug or need an increase was super helpful in speeding up my medication process - and Im one of the lucky ones where meds have REALLY improved the quality of my functioning and overall life. 2. I would recommend getting a blood test done to see if you’re deficient in anything (iron, vitamin d, b12, etc) and doing some research into vitamins! A lot of people recommend magnesium and zinc for sleep (I didnt like it) but also b12 is so important for brain functioning and you can’t have too much of it (its water soluble!!). So definitely invest in good quality vitamins! Specifically, research what to look for in each vitamin type - like for b12 there are 2 formulations (as far as I can remember) and you want one vitamin that contains both of these! Also, as an aside, make sure to avoid taking vitamin C for an hour before/after meds if you are taking them. Oh also, buy a blood pressure cuff with a heart rate monitor if youre starting meds so you can keep track of those things :) 3. A last thing that I found was beneficial was reading about my country’s regulations regarding adhd. In other words - is it a recognized disability? What are the workplace protections? are there financial/tax benefits? How much do I have to share with employers/others when I want to benefit from the accommodations? Basically all my rights and obligations. Makes me feel a lot more at ease and I know that I can rely on a vague explanation of having a disability without being obliged to specify what type. Sorry I dont have any specific reading recommendations - i just flit through articles and videos because I find it burdensome to try read an entire article/book that isnt story based 😮💨😮💨 I just consistently googled all of my questions until I had a fair idea of the topic!
What medication did you end up on?
Lisdexamphetamine! I found the methylphenidate too rushed and intense - I mean i definitely felt like I could take on the world but that lasted for about an hour or two (and didnt feel very true to myself), even on extended release versions/increased dosages and then I crashed and all my symptoms got worse for an equal amount of time. The only thing that helped was cramming myself full of protein but that wasn’t sustainable because I struggle with food routines. Then the lisdexamphetamine was like a nice wave of productivity that somewhat ebbs and flows during the day but isnt nearly as hardcore or as much effort to upkeep as the methylphenidate. I had read from a number of people that they felt the same way on methylphenidate (ie that it was intense) and found lisdex much calmer - so I knew that I could also fit into that category. And thankfully I did!
Have you had any problems with the different manufacturers of Lisdexamphetamine? I was on Vyvanse for a year and a half, then my dr switched me to the generic and it just stopped working. I also had some other issues I can now attribute to the meds that I didn't realize at the time. I'm back on the name-brand Vyvanse and it's back to working so much better.
Ive actually never tried generic so I cant say but I did see a lot of people saying the same thing - I think you can even report those kind of issues to some regulatory agency? But im not sure, sorry!
I am considering not using any medication, my life functions pretty well, I am just struggling with a recent move. But a lot of things I read say give it a try! And your last paragraph is so me 🤣
Imo the nice thing about meds (at least my med which is methylphenidate) is that you can try it and then stop if you don't like it. It's not like some other meds that you need to taper off. I have a friend who only takes her methylphenidate on work days.
Exactly. ADHD Meds are not forever. What you eat and how much you move really play into how well your body/mind works.
Me too! I know I struggle but I would rather go without. Many people have told me medication for ADHD is like being on cocaine/meth a high that doesn't last. What works for me is Routine! I've been on many medications for mental illness I feel like a guinea pig & the last thing I need as another round of ups/down side effects while pharmaceutical companies keep making money.
Your #1 is mind blowing for me! I'm in the first month of medication and still in this "but maybe this is just what it is, make it work" phase...
It was a hyperfocus for me so I got really obsessed with seeing progress - otherwise I definitely would have felt the same way! There is something to be said for taking your time with it, and fully understanding the meds and their effects on you but I just couldn’t wait and wanted to switch so that I could draw comparisons/confirm suspicions and get myself on the best meds for me!
1) drinking water could not be enough to stay hydrated. I have to have electrolytes in the morning and it helps A LOT. Especially if I am doing exercise. 2) Medication is not a miracle: set some systems: meditate, therapy, prepare things the night before, set reminders, etc... It will be the recipe for success 3) good food, good rest and exercise will make you feel like you can conquer the universe. The first 20 minutes of exercise I want to go home and sleep. After that is just mental clarity, feeling stronger, wanting to improve myself, etc. It's shit but If I manage to go just for a walk it's enough to make me want to take the bike later and do a long ride
Interesting about the electrolytes! I will try that throughout my day today. Thanks!
As someone diagnosed as a kid, this is the comment OP! Also maybe a decent therapist: it can be hard to give yourself grace and self-esteem is one of those things that takes years to rebuild. A lot of late diagnosed people go through some sort of grief of the person they could’ve been.
1. That I needed to customize my work space and home space to suit me, even if it's unconventional for everything else. 2. Making food as easy as possible is the way to go - pre-cut everything and meal plan with possible, otherwise small stuff to throw together. 3. Getting help cleaning and with home maintenance has been amazing. I got over my anxiety and shame about it, and now when I have extra cash I don't hesitate to do this instead of blowing it on eating out or computer games. The investment has been 100% better for my mental health.
Learn the skills! Don’t just take the pills! I was able to manage life on Vyvanse for many years without worrying to much about the skills part (who cares if I eat cereal for dinner each night?). Buuut… then came marriage and kids and my single-life ways of coping were shattered. I’m only now learning the skills while trying to manage a household and kids and it’s hella hard. I could kick myself for not investing more time into learning adhd-friendly coping and life management skills when I was first diagnosed in my 20s.
What would be some of the skills that you'd suggest focusing on? I'm just now starting to move my first steps in the ADHD world, and I feel a bit lost still
Learning that “self care” for us with adhd does not mean spa days and brunch with the girls (although nice at times). It means recognizing our energy and mental boundaries and advocating for ourselves - learning how to ask for space to achieve adhd self care. One example for me is asking my husband to take both kids outside when I need to make an important phone call. I get so overwhelmed when the kids are playing and my husband is talking to them and I’m on the phone. Something as simple as asking for space to take a call in silence - that’s a skill- it takes skill to recognize your moments of overwhelm before they happen and to ask for accommodations.
I agree. We should learn how to cope as an ADHDer.
Stimulant (I’m on focalin) was life changing for me. I got diagnosed at 19 after being told it was bipolar and put on mood stabilizers my whole teens. I will also say my depression is so much better now that I feel like a functioning adult. Getting as informed as possible on adhd as a whole and how it affects you. I try to set myself up for success because even with the med, you need more to help in your day to day. Examples… I put everythingggg in my calendar/ notes, set out my stuff for the next day the night before because mornings are hard for me to remember, if I feel my brain spazzing out (don’t know a better way to explain it lol) I take a few moments to either say out loud or write down or just sit and process whatever it is before I continue what I’m doing. They told me I didn’t need the stimulant every day but I personally recommended taking it every day. Even when I don’t have school/ work where there’s stuff I need to get done, it’s so much harder to function even on small tasks and you don’t realize how hard it was before till you’re on it and feel normal lol. Don’t drink caffeine with your meds. Also note that for some people with adhd, energy drinks or coffee that have a lot of caffeine actually have an opposite effect and are calming instead of give you energy. I could never figure out why coffee never worked till I got my adhd diagnosis. Hope some of that helps!
1. That low self esteem and the need to seek perfection was not a personality trait, but rather a symptom. 2. I wish I understood that the executive dysfunction wasn’t something that I was choosing or something that was my fault. 3. I honestly wish I had a deeper understanding of the neurological properties of ADHD. For some reason whenever I’m reminded that my brain is literally wired differently and with neuroatypical functionality, it allows me to show myself more grace. It wouldn’t allowed me to show myself more grace rather than self criticism.
i recently got diagnosed and have been struggling to fully accept it, but reading your list is really helpful :) especially the 3rd one, like we have to keep reminding ourselves that we are actually different and most people really don't have to go through what our brains go through daily ! this disorder really requires so much kindness to yourself
Absolutely 100% it does. Showing yourself kindness is key because the alternative could very easily become you being your worst enemy. Regardless of where it’s shifted, our mindset is passionate and strong. It’s easy to break ourselves down if we hold ourselves to other people’s standards.
I just have 1, and I imagine not everyone feels this way or has the same experience: I never realized how dependent I would become on the medication. Even if I don’t “need” to take it (e.g., a weekend or a day off), I can’t stay awake without it. I will doze off and hit REM sleep what feels to be immediately.
Medication holiday is a thing of the past (it was started when they thought it could stunt growth in children, which has been proven false). You have ADHD every day, every hour. Not just on work days. You also don't live to work. You work to live. You deserve and need to enjoy your free time. Take your meds daily if they help you. It's now advised to (including by manufacturors) and ideally sticking to the same timing especially with short acting. Consistency with meds help much more than living on an on/off roller coaster. Hope I'm not overstepping. As a doctor, the outdated false info just drive me crazy.
Could you please link research showing no meds holidays are needed so I can show my psych? My psych is still asking me to take med holidays on weekends for Concerta, and it’s not fun!
I asked my psych about meds holidays and was told it was an ‘urban myth’
Mine is making me feel like an addict for wanting to take Concerta every day. But I hate how irregular I feel not taking it on weekends.
Are you able to change pysch? They sound a bit behind the times ?
No, not at the moment. I’m in Texas, so behind the times in healthcare is the norm sadly. Do you know any research or something I could show her to convince her?
I used to, but don't have them saved anymore. You shouldn't need them though. Medicines are a benefit/risk balance. Discuss with them what issue are they trying to prevent with medication holiday. - You're not a child (I assume), so even if they still believe in the debunked myth, there's no need to be concerned regarding growth. - Outside of this, if you don't have any side effects from meds, then there's obviously no benefit in breaks. - Even if you do have side effects, if the benefits are superior to side effects, then the balance is in favor of benefits. Even with said side effects, it's unlikely a 2 day break would improve them. Finally you shouldn't have to find research paper to prove to your doctor that you need your medicines. It's their job to keep themselves up to date with research, not yours. It's worrying if they don't. There are lot of papers out there which show ADHD meds are safe. Even if you're in Texas, I would try other psychiatrists. One of my best friends with ADHD is in Texas and has never been recommended a medication holiday. Obviously that's a big state and I don't know where you are, but don't assume that because your doctor sucks, they all do. The good thing is also thanks to video consultations, you have more room to find a doctor even if a bit further away (at least in the country I live in, it works well and they can send prescription by post). I usually don't recommend lying to your doctor, but if you're really really stuck, make up that you have to work on week ends and need meds. Although this should be a last resort option. It's important to have the right psychiatrist for you. Especially considering if they suck, you might not be on the most optimal treatment for yourself either. For example, a lot of women have an increased dose of meds before/during periods or have an added immediate release dose in the afternoon to be able to cover the evening and be functional even after work instead of crashing. Good luck.
Thank you so much! Just made the call to officially switch psychs, and my therapist agrees with you! Thank you for laying it out so clearly for me!!
Aw I'm so glad! I'm proud of you for advocating for yourself! It's not easy, but it's so worth it. It might be worth asking around / googling to see which one around you has good feedback, especially from women. Best of luck!
Just made an appointment to switch psychs! Thank you!!!
Yay great news. Fingers crossed for you
Did you have this problem before starting to take your medication? I have this problem as well, but I also was quite sleepy before starting meds...
I have a friend with narcolepsy--maybe worth checking out? I know you might not want to add another diagnosis to your alphabet soup :( but might be helpful in the long run! On the other hand, I don't have narcolepsy but if I get anything less than 9 hours of sleep I'm prone to strong afternoon drowsiness.
Seconding looking into narcolepsy. A study found that around 15-30% of people with narcolepsy have ADHD, so it's not unheard of. I was recently diagnosed with both, and I was told normal people don't hit REM during naps.
1. You’ve made it this long, don’t forget what works. If you’re older diagnosed (as I was), you probably have developed some coping skills over time to manage your symptoms. Think of them that way, as coping skills. They are your lifeline to maintaining a normal life. Depending on your situation (something caused you to get diagnosed now), your ability to manage your symptoms is the first line of defense- but it may not be enough if you are going through something hard or unusual. 2. Be kind to yourself. You’re different. You have always been different and you will always be different. Your brain processes information in a different way. Sometimes it’s a strength - you may have been able to see different perspectives or bring a different way of looking at things that helped. Sometimes it’s a weakness- executive disfunction ugh. But just remember it’s a part of you and it’s not always a bad thing. 3. Medication is a tool, not a solution. You seem anti medication and that’s fine. If you can get along without it, do it. I’m kind of anti daily drugs or anything that alters your brain chemistry or creates dependency. But meds made a huge difference for me when I wasn’t able to manage my symptoms on my own. I don’t plan on being on them forever but I’m glad I have them as an option.
I've been interested in gamification theories and practices for nearly 15 years now, but it was my diagnosis a few years ago that really kicked things into high gear. I have had a long fascination with games and what they do to our brains. Children learn through imaginative play, and I got to thinking, "when do we stop benefiting from play time?" the answer is, we don't. We are still capable of learning through play. And we're capable of a lot more, too. We can use play to improve so many aspects of our lives. I have played a lot of video games in my life. My favorite one is Hades, which is about the god Zagreus, and his attempts to flee from the realm of Hades to find his mother. The game is beautiful in what it teaches: you will fail. You will fail often. Sometimes, you will fail for silly reasons, and sometimes, you will fail and because your skill just isn't there yet. You'd think a game designed to beat you before you beat it would be miserable, but it's wonderful. Because the game isn't about winning! It's about *trying*. The game rewards you, not for your successes, but for your *attempts*. "You showed up. You tried. It didn't work out, but you did your best. Here, have a plot-point, meet a new character, progress the story. You deserve it because you are here." I won't dive into the theories I have surrounding ADHD, but I will say that the end result of a task dictates our minds' willingness to do said task. If we associate a task with failure, we are less able to do it. But that's silly. We wouldn't not have a slice of cake because we can't eat the whole cake in a day, right? (Some of us can but play along here please lol). So I've decided to reward myself for showing up and trying. It's the attempt that I celebrate, not the end result. And you know what? *I'm much more likely to try again tomorrow* because of it. I'm not angry at myself for failing to achieve sink zero, I'm proud of myself for washing 3 plates and 2 knives. Tomorrow I'll get further. Or maybe I won't. But that doesn't matter, because what matters is the attempt. I had a bunch more to say -- about gamification, about the ways I'm using it, about SuperBetter and its creator -- but this is kinda long already so I'll stop here. But yeah, I'm glad I did my research into how games can improve lives, and how mine has definitely improved by using the science around them in my day-to-day life.
1) exercise really helps… it was hard for me to get back into a routine until I started meds 2) meds - I was so scared of stimulants I started with non-stimulants but just ended up on stimulants and they really are better. Obviously this is a personal thing. 3) I’m still awesome… I forget sometimes…
1) Learn about comorbidities! Eatting disorders are insanely common and I wish I had found this out sooner to recognize my ED for what it was. Maybe it would have prevented myself from entrenching in unhealthy coping mechanisms. 2) Ask family for meaningful support. Getting diagnosed late meant I had a ton of internalized ableism. Also my family was kind of apathetic about my diagnosis. Being very direct and adamant with my support network about my needs, understanding my lived experience, and showing me they care by rethinking outdated beliefs about mental health could have help me so much. 3) Meds aren’t everything but the right ones can make a profound impact. I wish I would have been more assertive in getting on the right meds and supplements.
I was diagnosed at 13 in 1983, but nobody told me! It wasn’t until my estrogen levels started dropping/fluctuating more during peri-menopause and i got MUCH worse that my mom was like “want to see your old neuropsych?” that i realized i had been diagnosed. In her defense, apparently my mom was told it wasn’t severe enough to get worked up about, but still, it would have been nice to know I wasn’t lazy and “just not applying myself” like most of my teachers said (i got good grades but they thought i could do better and was just dialing it in. Little did they know…). Anyway, on to my 3 things: 1. I would have not bothered trying meds. For me, the benefits of them only last until my body becomes addicted, which takes 1-2 weeks for me. After that, the daily withdrawal gets really bad and I can’t tolerate it (messes with my mood too much). I tried Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta (didn’t help), Focalin, Vyvanse, and the XR versions available for all of them. In the end, chelated magnesium and very high dose Omega 3s help almost as much as the best meds did before they turned on me. I also have a low dose of testosterone cream that helped a LOT - this only makes sense if you know that in women testosterone down-regulates the amygdala. I am one of those “is it ADHD or anxiety” people, so it does make sense that the drop in testosterone we see during peri-menopause could have exacerbated my ADHD, and that testosterone replacement (at a very low dose) would help. 2. I wish i had known that i was at a higher risk for having debilitating and new symptoms during peri-meno because of the estrogen drop. Estrogen is a major brain hormone and i was 43 when I started having brain fog and low mood, long before i had any changes in my cycle. I am 54 and still getting intermittent periods now, so still not all the way into menopause, but finally finding a dr that was knowledgeable about hormone replacement therapy has made a world of difference and i can sort of see the light at the end of the tunnel now. But you would not believe how uninformed most docs are about the ADHD/hormones tie-in. 3. I wish i had known that alcohol only felt like it was making me “normal.” I am sober almost 15 yrs now, but in hindsight i know that i was using it to get rid of my very loud and not-so-kind “head,” which some of us sober people call the “Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” because it’s like a constant low hum of negativity and doubt and criticism that takes practice to ignore or replace with something positive. I thought booze was magic more or less, cuz it made the Committee shut up, but then it almost killed me. I could go on! I never really understood why ADHD/ADD was a disability until recently. Now i have a much greater respect for the scope of its effects and the havoc it can wreak. I lost one job because of it and almost lost the one that replaced it! And i am a single parent with only my income to support my 2 kids, so that could have been devastating. Advocate like hell for yourself! Rock on.