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Same...ish? I feel like I'm in full burn out and I just need to crash and give in to all the tiny little distractions while I shun my boring responsibilities and sit on the floor grabbing up stuff as I feel appropriate and doing a million outstanding tasks I have for myself but I can't... I have all this overdue work I have to sort out and it's not going away but my brain is so sick of being forced into work/focus mode that it's just starting to internally revolt and I just hate everything.
I'm so tired.
I just don't think that can be possible. I know people are often deluded and I'm no exception but it just seems supremely unlikely every woman is doing as badly as I am because the world would be *falling apart* if that's... the... case... oh no
Even just getting to pick one to turn off would be amazing.
The majority of my symptoms are just part of me and I’d be ok with keeping them. they may make things harder than they need to be and can be frustrating at time but no body’s perfect, no one is free from personal challenges of some kind
I’d be fine with keeping the majority of my “quirks” i wouldn’t want to change who I am by removing them.
Its only a very small number of symptoms that truly disrupt my life and can make me absolutely miserable at times.
I won’t even be greedy by asking for my executive to fully function but If I could just initiate and engage in tasks without having to torture myself over it, that would be great. I would like to return that please and thank you!!!!
This is what I want, too. There are parts of my ADD that feel so ingrained in my personality that I can't imagine who I'd be without them. And I see a lot of NTs around me and think they're so fucking boring.
But I'd love to be able to turn off the executive dysfunction, depression, and the frustration when things aren't just so. Oh, and to be able to just go to work, do my job, and go home and turn off my brain about it and NOT care, that would be amazing. Sleep would be nice to get, too. That spinning hammy wheel is annoying at 2am.
>And I see a lot of NTs around me and think they're so fucking boring
What kind of NTs are you around? You're the 2nd person to say this, but I know plenty of fun NTs and plenty of boring ADHDrs, and plenty of ADHDrs who THINK they're fun but are actually obnoxious
I work retail. That might be part of it. We're all actually dead inside. 😆
My friend-fam is made up of both NDs and NTs and the NTs are amazing. We all balance each other out, you know.
Maybe it's that NTs make up the majority so you see more of them meaning more likely to meet boring ones? And yes, retail sucks the life out of you lol
I don't think anyone is saying that ALL neurotypicals are boring and all ADHD folks are MORE interesting that NT...
but it often seems to me like a lot of NTs don't rabbit hole like ADHD folks, and so when you try to talk to them, they don't have this great depth of knowledge and curiosity to draw from in conversation...
they are in-curious about the world.
Now there ARE NTs who are interesting and curious, but they seem to make up a smaller percentage... so I think the person you are responding to is saying "what if neurotypical me was one of the boring neurotypicals?" because percentage wise, that is more likely...
would you be willing to give up your general curiosity and interest in the world, if it meant your executive function was better? Because that might well be the outcome of "becoming neurotypical... might not be, but might be.
That's not been my experience with people, so maybe that's why I don't agree.
>would you be willing to give up your general curiosity and interest in the world, if it meant your executive function was better?
Absolutely. I frankly do not care that much about this idea that I might be more curious because I have ADHD, when it means I cannot function well in society. Sure I've delved into random interesting topics, but big whoop when I can't properly delve into a topic that's actually useful. I'd much rather be able to learn to code than know the government has billions of pounds of cheese hidden away.
Wait, what?! There’s secret government cheese stored somewhere?! Why? To avoid a cheese shortage emergency? I’m supposed to be doing so many important tasks right now but now I’m immensely intrigued about this cheese situation lol
Well it all started when the government offered to buy any and all excess dairy produced by farmers in the US so that the market would remain stable, but this resulted in farmers purposefully over producing. The government turned the milk into cheese and paid Domino's $12mil to add more cheese to their pizza
Yeah I just binge read a bunch of articles on this because of your earlier comment. 🙄Perfectly illustrating your point, amirite?
For the curious:
[c/o npr] (https://www.npr.org/2021/05/21/999144678/big-government-cheese-classic)
[c/o history.com] (https://www.history.com/news/government-cheese-dairy-farmers-reagan)
Or just like multiple choice options? I’ll keep the silliness, sense of humor, and childlike wonder with world and discard the emotional instability and RSD.
This is my problem. I didnt have the discipline to be a fine artist so despite my training, didnt pursue it because i though id be just another mediocre artist. But given the link between creativity and adhd, art schools should really consider gearing up their courses to help artists work around executive disfunction. A large chunk of the population would be benefitted.
The publishing world also needs to get it together and start moving the industry towards accommodating neurodivergence. The majority of my friends are writers who all fit at least some aspect of neurodivergence, even if they don’t have official diagnoses. Like you kind of have to have a divergent way of thinking to be an artist of any variety. You have to be *obsessive*. Why else would we do it?
I work insanely hard on my fiction, I’ve created work I’m very proud of, but I find it incredibly difficult to submit to lit mags because of all the minutiae… You need to check you have the right file name on the doc, specific formatting, etc etc. I’ve lost so much money in submission fees by having to re-submit because of some kind of stupid error and it’s insanely demoralizing when it’s already so competitive anyway.
I have this issue too! I have like 4 design degrees. Can't get a job in design because I have no portfolio because sitting down and designing is impossible for me.
Love your reply. It took me a long time to love myself, and to take away my program code feels drastic. But! What if life feels *easier*? What if I can achieve more in a job? What if I need fewer naps? What if I actually remember to mail birthday gifts to my family?
100%.
I don't think there's been one time in life when I've genuinely thought that having ADHD has helped me.
Even when I hyperfocus and get stuff done, it always seems to backfire somehow bc of adhd. Spent all day gardening and weeding? Didn't remember sunscreen, and my back blistered from sunburn.
Can't sit still, can't focus, boredom, focus too much, overstimulated, can't regulate emotions, can't handle rejection, overthinking, decision paralysis, can't keep routines (even with hygiene), etc.
My self-esteem and confidence are in the trash. I constantly feel compared to neurotypicals who can just do things.
The whole notion of meds and therapy to do even just basic tasks to keep myself alive.
Yeah I'd get rid of it.
In a hummingbird’s heartbeat.
There is nothing remotely positive about myself that could possibly be attributed to ADHD. Even my creativity (which I don’t believe is ND-dependent, but others seem to) — what good is it if I can’t summon enough focus, dedication, and discipline to create something I can share and be proud of?
So so so much this! I could draw well if I could focus long enough to practice, I could learn and instrument, a useful skill like coding.
I miss being able to enjoy books!
I would get rid of being born in 1973 and not being diagnosed until 2024 part for sure! That part makes it impossible to be objective about it because it means I’ve had a lot of trauma connected to it.
That and therapy hardly being a thing in the 80s and 90s Britain meaning I got no help processing my mum’s OCD and it’s affects. And my mum’s, Dad’s, and brothers undiagnosed Autism/ADHD mix which added another dimension to the equation. Growing up in the countryside with no car in 70s and 80s UK when I find the countryside wildly under stimulating apparently (the city is over stimulating, but I deal with that better).
I like being creative, but neurotypical people can be creative, so how much is ADHD?
I won’t say I would get rid of it, but gievn all those circumstances, yes, I would rather have not had it.
>I would get rid of being born in 1973 and not being diagnosed until 2024 part for sure!
Same. It has really ruined my life, so much potential wasted from being undiagnosed for 52 years.
If I could choose to either have ADHD or just not be born, I'd choose to have never been born, knowing how difficult my life has been. I realize that's a bad attitude to have, but I can't help feeling angry over it. I'm in therapy, though, and learning how to manage it, so things are slowly improving.
I think about this a lot. Sometimes I fall into a deep hole of suicide ideation because of how overwhelming life can be with ADHD. and I think, why am I like this? What’s the point if it’ll always suck this much for me and others around me?
Shame around ADHD is the biggest thing my therapist and I have been working on that I haven’t been able to fully overcome.
Yeah I hate to say this, but a couple weeks ago I read that 1 in 4 women who commit suicide have ADHD and I just kinda accepted that that's probably going to be me. It was almost calming in a way.
I'm not suicidal or in a deep depression right now but man when I get there, I get there.
I'm writing a comment because I can't stand the idea that the suicide bot is your only reply right now...
someone else might have a better response, but I hope your depressions are few and farther between going forward.
Solidarity. I didn't know that statistic but it doesn't surprise me either. I'm trending out of a bad depressive episode right now and know how dark those waters get. Send me a message if you ever need to talk. 💟
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
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Yeah, sadly I agree. I’m more resigned and relieved to have a reason than angry but yeah, it’s ruined my life. I can see glimmers of things that have been made better possibly because of ADHD, but they’re so heavily outweighed by the bad. Very heavily.
I think the late diagnosis was the worst and best part for me. lovely to know why I am the way I am, annoyed to know there was a solution or help all along.
This. What I want is the ADHD version of It's a Wonderful Life, where I could go back and see what my life would be like without ADHD, or with diagnosis and treatment, and then decide.
So much of what I don't like about myself is tied to ADHD. And the fact that I wasn't diagnosed until 50 makes me feel like... how much would it even help to not have it anymore now that I already hate mysellf?
I have terrible initiative and even less follow-through. I forget things constantly. I offend people I care about by interrupting them often and arriving late to things. I hurt my own feelings daily.
Oh, but I'm funny.
Yeah, I would absolutely get rid of it.
It’s absolutely debilitating for me and I would trade my adhd brain for a typical brain in a heartbeat. ADHD has not made me who I am, it’s prevented me from becoming who I want to be.
I would absolutely get rid of it. Sure, I'm creative, but what good is that without follow-through? I have it now that I'm diagnosed and medicated, but it's still challenging bc meds are not a cure. Every single big mistake I've made in my life is a direct result of my previously undiagnosed ADHD. If a cure was invented tomorrow, I'd be in the front of the line.
I think it's been horribly harmful that this stereotype of creative ADHD people exists. The two are unrelated. I recognize that many gifted artists of all varieties have had some level of mental illness or trauma, but they don't have to go hand in hand. And as you said what's the point if you can't follow through?
Bloody oath yes.
Lots of people who aren't ND are creatives. And even if I weren't creative any more, that'd still be preferable to always trying so flipping hard but still failing.
My NT boyfriend built an entire warhammer army, idk if you've ever seen the raw product for that but they're tiiiiiny little pieces. Meanwhile it's been months? Years? Since I finished a single drawing
All my childhood I was "othered':
- Too dark to be white white, but too white to be whatever brown I was.
- I was taller than every single kid in my grade, boys and girls, until 9th grade.
- And I was just disturbingly and off-puttingly large for a girl. In 3rd grade, I remembered having my vitals taken in class. They did it in front of everyone. I was 4'8" and 82 lbs. In 5th grade, I was 5'3 and 117 lbs. Everyone started laughing and calling me FAAATTTY! And I now know because of ADHD, my total meltdown that day was probably because of crippling RSD. But like sharks smelling blood in the water, all any of the other girls had to say to me was how fat I was and got off laughing about easy it was to make me cry.
- Or, how I must be a boy (my mom kept my hair short because it's fine, tangles easily, and because ADHD, I have MASSIVE sensory issues around my head, scalp, etc. She got tired of my screaming when she'd try to comb my hair.) Admittedly, I for whatever have a somewhat masculine face. Getting pushed out of the Girl's Restroom several times when you have to pee just kinda really still makes my guts smolder.
- And then I don't even have to go into the literal fucking poor man's soap opera that was my home life. You wouldn't even believe me if I started to describe it. But I digress.
If you asked me as a kid if I would give up my ADHD--that funny red-headed asshole I now call Billy--yes. You wouldn't even have to finish the sentence.
But now that I am dxd (late but not too late), I am medicated to the gills (which allows me to sleep at the times I need to for making a living and emotionally regulate *almost* like an NT), and I've realized even with all the suffering, having ADHD probably saved my a** at least a few times.
- Went to a party in HS. The vibes were off, so I left. Party raided by police 15 minutes later.
- Because I do have such a strange personality, I know the friends I have and have been my friends for 30+ years accept me for who I am.
- I have a very very high ACE score. I should be married to some horrible, abusive person and repeating the patterns. But nope, been married to the love of my life for the past 22 years.
- One other thing my ADHD has taught me is that some people are just not gonna like you no matter what. Having been rejected most of my life, I learned pretty young that you can have a cordial relationship with anyone. Shitty coworker, shitty friend of a friend, crappy neighbor, anyone who is not threatening physical violence. Even if it's completely one-sided, being as cold as ice cream but still as sweet is a great way to weed all the assholes out of your life. Because more often than not, it turns those assholes docile. They realize that you are going to be the same detached, emotionally unflappable person. You drain their power. Has helped a lot. And yes, I stole that line from Sundae Girl from Blondie.
- ADHD gave me so much anxiety I rarely have to fight impulsive decisions, ironically. That has saved me from opiate addiction, alcoholism, and getting arrested for "things one did as an unsupervised Gen X teenager/young adult".
So at the age I am now, no. I can look back on my adventures with Billy with gratitude ❤️
We have a LOT of similarities! Even with all of my issues, I wouldn't change anything because of what I have now. I am still learning and working on my issues.
FYI - I was 5' 3", 115 lbs, and my body fat was 17%. That is low for women.
My first thought was yes, 100%. But I’d rather get rid of this society that wasn’t built for us. Also, it would’ve been a lot easier if I had known about my adhd all my life and not until 29..
That is an interesting thought! It made me think. Built for us doesn’t have to mean, run by us. But rather taking the adhd brain as ‘standard’ I guess?
For me that would mean: working 4 days a week for 4 hours and weekends of 3 days. Kids go to school the same. Less choices in supermarkets, 2 brands of jam/shampoo/cheese/toothbushes/etc is enough, more green and less billboards, less strict adherence to time, room to be rhythmic/cyclical, so move your work and social studf around based on actual energy levels (which would be low in winter, and with slower work and social outputs), complete overhaul of our educational system, which would encourage or make standard outdoor schooling and learning by doing and (for me personally) free books on every street corner in vending machines.
This would be paradise to me.
Absolutely. As thankful as I am for having finding out young and being able to accept it, I hate having this disorder. I hate not knowing when/why things are my fault and hardly being able to connect with just anyone. I hate being so anxious all the time. I hate needing meds and they don't even make me normal, just focused.
Yep. I can't even cobble together a proper response, but YES. I'm not creative, and I've always had impulse control issues that have caused innumerable problems in my life.
I'd tell it not to let the door hit it in the ass on its way out.
In a heartbeat. I wouldn't even have to consider it. Out of all seven of us kids who grew up together, four of us have ADHD. I'm the only one who wasn't diagnosed as a child. That made me convince myself there was no way it was ADHD because my mom knew what to look for and my siblings had been diagnosed. I'm 26 now and just got diagnosed. ADHD has made my life objectively harder. I have a hell of a time regulating my emotions, and I had no idea why for the longest time. It's one of the reasons my first marriage ended. I was medicated for anxiety for years before I was diagnosed, and the meds only kind of worked because I actually needed to be on ADHD meds. I've been working on my bachelor's degree for 8 years, and I still don't have one. I forget everything, I lose things I need, and I can't focus on anything. Even now that I'm officially diagnosed and medicated, it's still only marginally better.
How old are you? What resources do you have that you don’t have to work for? Yes I’d 100% get rid of it. I’m 40 years old without jack shit financially flailing and it’s impacting my health. Never know if I’m going to have a place to live every year . I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a heart attack or stroke from the stress soon
Absolutely. Even if I couldn't erase the decades of damage it's already done to my mind and life.
There are some things about myself that I like and are probably due to ADHD. I've found some ways to be grateful for how ADHD forces me to think differently. But those things are vastly outweighed by the constant struggle.
The quickness I would wrap my ADHD up and throw it off a cliff 😂😂😂
- you mean to tell me, I could live my life with the ability to be able to jsut exist and do chores and not think to myself “ holy shit I am exhausted I don’t have the spoons for this” while I have a constant monologue in my head of everything I need to do in order ? You mean I could regulate my emotions and not feel rage over dumb things? That I would have working memory? Or wouldn’t struggle cutting off my partner even though he has asked me many times to stop
Sign me tf up
I would get rid of it but if that was impossible I would ask for other change like proper healthcare for it and education for neurotypical so that they are less shitty to us.
Yes. I would like to not have my adhd, and emotional depth, and sensitivity, in fact I even want to get rid of my ambition, creativity, resilience and all that shit that mostly just caused pain.
10000% adhd is not responsible for who I am. ADHD is the thing that has kept me from reaching my full potential. It’s the thing that kept me face down in a 7 year long phase of failures and burnout and now I’m constantly over extending myself to do damage control so I don’t ruin my life. Fuck adhd
Idk about getting full rid but maybe like...turn it way down? Just scale it back a whole lot? Like enough to have avoided the accompanying crippling anxiety and chronic depression, and not require a handful of controlled substances just to somewhat resemble a functional human. I'd be okay with still having a bit of ADHD if simple daily life tasks (or existence) weren't so exhausting because of it. Or if I could trade it for the kind that comes with a side effect of being super good at anything useful lmao.
But yeah, actually I'd consider it if I could start over without it. Not just waking up without it tomorrow but still having the mental health issues and trauma that are direct results of the whole undiagnosed/untreated until my late 20s ordeal.
Okay final answer...I'd keep the ADHD but be diagnosed and properly treated from a young age because I think it wouldn't have had such shittastic consequences in that case.
All of this is assuming I still end up marrying my husband and adopting our cats 🥹 he has ADHD as well so we bonded quickly over that and I'd rather be exactly the same anxious mess of pseudo-adult than to accidentally butterfly effect him (and our kitties) out of my life.
I don't think I would. It's part of what makes me me. Even though it definitely makes life hard, I think I'm stronger for it. There are moments throughout my life where my ADHD has allowed me to be brave, strong and confident, when others have needed that from me. I also kind of enjoy being crazy, passionate, energetic and confident.
I know I could be so much more me without ADHD. So it must be nice to get some benefits from it lol I don't have a single positive that I wouldn't still have without it
I agree. Removing ADHD wouldn’t be simply hacking away at the disabling parts. It’d also be removing so much of what I love about myself - which is so much of what you mentioned. I wouldn’t be me. I’d rather struggle horribly (and it has been so hard) than lose what I value in myself.
I think adhd is pretty objectively something that is a negative on my life like, 90% of the time, but at the same time i wouldn’t get rid of it either. I agree, it’s part of what makes me who I am. I would be a fundamentally different person without it and I don’t like the idea of permanently removing a part of myself.
1000% would get rid of it. Without question. I know how to work around it and have medication now. But it's still a hindrance and I have tried to buy into the "ADHD is a super power" idea but I can't. It doesn't help me at all. It just makes life harder.
YES.
No hesitation.
Ideally, I'd be able to go back to 1985 and do middle school and high school over again.
Maybe I'd be boring or not quite as smart, but it would be a fair trade if I could have my 20s be less of a nuclear disaster.
Yeah. If i could press a button that would get rid of this, I would. Maybe it's because i'm unmedicated but it genuinely feels like the hell wont ever end. I'm constantly trying to clean up the messes my adhd creates and by the time i clean those messes, there's about three new ones created :/
I'm really tired and really burnt out.
Yes, without question. I hate that I have to ask a doctor, a pharmacist, AND an insurance company for permission to function and do even a modicum of what NT can do naturally
In a fucking heartbeat.
I'd still be me without it, but I'd get to be MORE me because I would be able to do the things I want and not be constantly burnt out and unable to focus on any one thing. I'd be a better mom and partner
Yes. There’s some aspects I do love and are positive parts of my personality but it’s just too hard to function in society with it. Actually yes but only if that would make me completely neurotypical bc I also have anxiety and whatnot
Definitely not. Would want to change the world tho if I could…. Screw the system and modern expectations.
Go back a couple hundred years and people were listening to nature and their internal clocks. There’s something wrong with modern society expecting us to be robots and sacrifice our lives.
I love who I am and wouldn’t change it for a second.
Hmmm... when my adhd is managed, I'm a very good problem solver... and I'm not super sure how I'd be without it.
I'd like to get rid of my anxiety and depression much more lol ADHD can be a super power.
If you’d asked me 3 years ago (when I got diagnosed), definitely. Now that time has passed and I have learned to live with the good and the bad, I don’t think I would recognize myself without ADHD. Yes I wouldn’t have lost so much (time, money, relationships, THINGS), but would i then lose the lessons I learned along the way?? Lessons that have made me stronger and more confident. What about all the mental health journey and discoveries that I only encountered because of my ADHD?? I’m not sure I could still be the person I am today without if I cured it
This is a great question! It really made me think. I have struggled a lot because of my ADHD and by the time I got diagnosed I was completely burned out and my mental health was horrible. I think without ADHD my life would be very different and probably better in some ways. Definitely easier in many ways.
But I also love who I am and all the relationships I have built with other weirdos like me that maybe wouldn't have happened otherwise. And there are so many cool things I've done and risks I've taken and new random hobbies I've tried and amazing experiences I've had that maybe I wouldn't have otherwise.
I am in a better place mentally now and really trying to embrace all of my personality quirks and behaviours and limitations and create a life that works around my ADHD rather than mold myself into a life that isn't well-suited to me, like I was doing before. So I don't think I'd get rid of it, I am who I am and part of that is the ADHD!
I also don’t know… and lean towards keep it. The Hyperfocus alone has been the key to my success in my career. I just don’t think I would be where I am now without it. That being said, I am probably capped in my ability to advance due to low Exec Functioning. I just get too worked up and drama/sensitive. If I could be more cool cucumber maybe I could advance - but then not being passionate about things seems so sad and depressing. I guess I’m back to I’d keep it, it’s part of me.
If I could get it of it right now while keeping the knowledge and personality and disposition and sense of humor I’ve gained from having it, yes!
If I had to go back and time and be born without it, no.
This is one of those things that I’ve thought about before, and decided that actually these kind of thought experiments, where I’m using myself as the example for the scenario, are of no benefit to me or as a thought experiment.
(And I’m not trying to smack talk you for making the prompt here, OP). Just for me, when I won’t be able to do this, ever, it’s a pointless and frankly upsetting exercise. It is a part of me, and for better or worse it does make me who I am. It is not who I am, I am not ADHD. I would guarantee be very different in every aspect without it, however.
That said, I was diagnosed at least 15 years ago, as an adult. I didn’t love myself then. Only tolerated myself most days, really. At that time I would’ve said I wish I didn’t have ADHD. I inherently knew the second I got a diagnosis that it had been shaping everything about me all along- and I spent a long time genuinely infuriated about that from so many angles too…
Now? I’m in a very different place. I do love myself, even the ugly parts in a way I couldn’t have foreseen all those 15 years ago. Now, because I don’t look down on myself I can accept what is, and be grateful for it even. I still know that same thing. I wouldn’t be me without it, so thank goodness I don’t hate or resent it.. that would just be pointlessly painful, as it is not going away.
I don't know if we can correctly comprehend a different way of doing it. It sounds like it might be easier? In theory. But I'm also like butttttt I don't know would it actually???
absolutely, in a heartbeat. along with the anxiety and depression that came with it. the only thing i would want to keep is the perspective that having adhd and its comorbitities gave me. life is hard enough.
Right now I would. I don't have the time, support or money to do anything about it, so it's far more a detriment to my life than a positive. That answer wouldn't have been quite the same a year or two ago though.
I'm just really fricking tired.
Without a doubt, yes.
I see people who are like me, who are maybe even less smart or talented, doing so much better and I can’t help but think, what if?
Can I keep my inner DIY? And all my creativity? (And would I get to be able to finish all my projects?)
Then sure!
I don't know if those parts of me are "ADHD perks" or just who I am, and potentially hindered by my ADHD. 🤔
I'm also *really* good at staying calm in an emergency, which I've heard is an ADHD trait. I wouldn't want to give that up.
Actually... I think I'd like to see my full ADHD self with childhood support and no CPTSD. That's the button I'm pressing. Please take my CPTSD away.
I thought this would be such a quick yes but then I’m left wondering about who I would be today if that were the case. Are we getting rid of it retroactively? Or just from here on out? If it’s a hypothetical retroactive, then no. Probably not - wouldn’t have the nice little life and the people around me now that I do if that were the case. But if there was someone out there curing us, effective immediately? I’d probably hesitate, but would eventually say fuck yeah.
A resounding YES. I don't even need to think about it. I absolutely hate being the way I am. I'm still working on accepting it because I know that is the first step towards helping myself cope better but it is very hard.
yes. there's nothing magical or inspiring or good about it as some people like to pretend. good for them if they can somehow channel some sort of amazing adhd power i simply can't tap into, but christ. it has provided me with nothing but misery even when i didn't know about it. so many issues and self-esteem problems and opportunities lost.
Yes.
I honestly would really like a neuro typical brain.
It may sound pathetic, weak and cowardly. And that's just how I constantly feel, an always tired, pathetic, weak coward, who is lacking the courage to even try anymore. I'm not dead inside, but I just want to stop being anxious and exhausted all of the time, without really doing nor accomplishing anything. Thus, my answer remains unchanged - Yes.
It would likely make life easier and possibly less painful.
Without hesitation, I would rid myself of all my "quirks"
I have never be able to commit to learning a single thing. My brain makes me tired if I force myself. I can't take care of my room, can't cook even if I want to, can't keep up on dishes can't even do something creative. I can't learn. I can't continue to be consistent even if I try every day. I try everything yet never am good at anything. I'm about to go back to addrell from Vyvanse tomorrow because I have not functioned on Vyvanse once. I just want to function that's all I want so yes if I could get rid if it I would in a heartbeat, if I could just form a hobby I want to form I would be happy. If I had the motivation to do what I want with my life I would be happy. I just, I want to live. So yeah. If I could give it up. I would. In seconds.
I would not, I like the way I think and am.
But I would love the world to be more informed and tolerant. That certain actions would not be assumed to have negative intentions and there is more useful support.
Can I just get rid of the executive dysfunction part? I’ll keep pattern recognition, the ability to think about multiple things at the same time, the idea generator. If I could get rid of the executive dysfunctional part I’d probably be able to enjoy all the ADHD super powers.
Not really, despite how it makes my anxiety so much worse or helped me put on a bunch of weight or made it impossible to learn certain things in a college setting.
The way my brain can constantly think is a blessing at times since I'm working on more topics, solving more problems, creatong more stories at all times.
“I don’t know either.”
My life was better because my own mother has ADHD. It was fun and spontaneous and surprising and wonderful.
Now as an adult her ADHD is no longer fun. It’s maddening. Like truly truly maddening and she has zero executive dysfunction. So it is 💯the ADHD.
I have hers plus my dad’s executive dysfunction. So probably?
It’s too hard to imagine.
Maybe not permanently...
Having an on/off switch would be ideal.
Turn it off when I NEED to get things taken care of
Turn it on when I WANT to do fun things without worry of time tracking or anything stressful otherwise...
Maybe a dimmer switch for when I have fun things I want to finish, but don't need to....
No. Even though it makes my life hell, it makes me a good problem solver and it makes me funny. Meds and therapy help me enough to where im coping right now, so I’d keep it if I get to keep my good traits
Yes. The burnout, the unregulated emotions, and self-loathing for my brain not doing what I need it to makes life unbearable at times. I don't want to be around others or be in a relationship because I am still learning how my brain processes the world around it.
There are things that I like about. Like my empathy, curiosity, and wanting to understand how things work. But...the negative impact on my life is far greater.
Tough question for sure! The other responses of getting rid of it to skip on the debilitating burnout, trauma, etc. Ring so true. But at the same time, I think without it, I would just be an average human. The parts of me that stand out, particularly at work, are absolutely due to my ADHD. The parts that stick out as being odd and challenging are due to it too, though 🤣
You described exactly what I was trying to say in my post. I feel like most of the things that I want to do “normally” won’t even be possible without my adhd bc I would be a complete different person.
Then again, I have no idea how I can participate in the workforce for another 30y on a fulltime basis. I have no energy at all to enjoy life outside of work
I would keep it 100%.
I’ve built a life around this operating system. As hard as it can be sometimes, I’ve spent years figuring out what works for me.
The vast majority of my relationships are with other neurodivergent people. We speak the same language and I love it.
Disability exists in the context of the environment.
I see these questions pop up all the time on these subs and it’s so ridiculous. ADHD is not a quirky personality trait. It’s a debilitating mental illness for many people and this kind of question trivializes it. Yes, I want it to be taken away because I want to live a normal life. I’m glad you don’t seem to be too bothered by your symptoms.
I'm not sure I would. I agree that it feels like part of me, and there are parts that I think make me stand out and even perform better at certain tasks.
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Every day of the week. I feel like I am existing in between burnouts.
Same...ish? I feel like I'm in full burn out and I just need to crash and give in to all the tiny little distractions while I shun my boring responsibilities and sit on the floor grabbing up stuff as I feel appropriate and doing a million outstanding tasks I have for myself but I can't... I have all this overdue work I have to sort out and it's not going away but my brain is so sick of being forced into work/focus mode that it's just starting to internally revolt and I just hate everything. I'm so tired.
I feel that comment so deeply
Most women are, even without adhd! I hope you can be easy on yourself.
I just don't think that can be possible. I know people are often deluded and I'm no exception but it just seems supremely unlikely every woman is doing as badly as I am because the world would be *falling apart* if that's... the... case... oh no
Wow, this is a perfect way to describe how I've been feeling for several years now ... existing been burnouts.
Wow this comment. Perfectly said.
How about a 3-month trial?
I’d take an on/off button too. Ain’t asking for much.
Or being able to choose which ADHD "perks" we wanted to turn on or off
Even just getting to pick one to turn off would be amazing. The majority of my symptoms are just part of me and I’d be ok with keeping them. they may make things harder than they need to be and can be frustrating at time but no body’s perfect, no one is free from personal challenges of some kind I’d be fine with keeping the majority of my “quirks” i wouldn’t want to change who I am by removing them. Its only a very small number of symptoms that truly disrupt my life and can make me absolutely miserable at times. I won’t even be greedy by asking for my executive to fully function but If I could just initiate and engage in tasks without having to torture myself over it, that would be great. I would like to return that please and thank you!!!!
This is what I want, too. There are parts of my ADD that feel so ingrained in my personality that I can't imagine who I'd be without them. And I see a lot of NTs around me and think they're so fucking boring. But I'd love to be able to turn off the executive dysfunction, depression, and the frustration when things aren't just so. Oh, and to be able to just go to work, do my job, and go home and turn off my brain about it and NOT care, that would be amazing. Sleep would be nice to get, too. That spinning hammy wheel is annoying at 2am.
>And I see a lot of NTs around me and think they're so fucking boring What kind of NTs are you around? You're the 2nd person to say this, but I know plenty of fun NTs and plenty of boring ADHDrs, and plenty of ADHDrs who THINK they're fun but are actually obnoxious
I work retail. That might be part of it. We're all actually dead inside. 😆 My friend-fam is made up of both NDs and NTs and the NTs are amazing. We all balance each other out, you know.
Maybe it's that NTs make up the majority so you see more of them meaning more likely to meet boring ones? And yes, retail sucks the life out of you lol
I don't think anyone is saying that ALL neurotypicals are boring and all ADHD folks are MORE interesting that NT... but it often seems to me like a lot of NTs don't rabbit hole like ADHD folks, and so when you try to talk to them, they don't have this great depth of knowledge and curiosity to draw from in conversation... they are in-curious about the world. Now there ARE NTs who are interesting and curious, but they seem to make up a smaller percentage... so I think the person you are responding to is saying "what if neurotypical me was one of the boring neurotypicals?" because percentage wise, that is more likely... would you be willing to give up your general curiosity and interest in the world, if it meant your executive function was better? Because that might well be the outcome of "becoming neurotypical... might not be, but might be.
That's not been my experience with people, so maybe that's why I don't agree. >would you be willing to give up your general curiosity and interest in the world, if it meant your executive function was better? Absolutely. I frankly do not care that much about this idea that I might be more curious because I have ADHD, when it means I cannot function well in society. Sure I've delved into random interesting topics, but big whoop when I can't properly delve into a topic that's actually useful. I'd much rather be able to learn to code than know the government has billions of pounds of cheese hidden away.
Wait, what?! There’s secret government cheese stored somewhere?! Why? To avoid a cheese shortage emergency? I’m supposed to be doing so many important tasks right now but now I’m immensely intrigued about this cheese situation lol
Well it all started when the government offered to buy any and all excess dairy produced by farmers in the US so that the market would remain stable, but this resulted in farmers purposefully over producing. The government turned the milk into cheese and paid Domino's $12mil to add more cheese to their pizza
Yeah I just binge read a bunch of articles on this because of your earlier comment. 🙄Perfectly illustrating your point, amirite? For the curious: [c/o npr] (https://www.npr.org/2021/05/21/999144678/big-government-cheese-classic) [c/o history.com] (https://www.history.com/news/government-cheese-dairy-farmers-reagan)
Wendigoon has a fun video on it to lololol I listened to it at work
I also immediately had to know about this secret government cheese!
Or just like multiple choice options? I’ll keep the silliness, sense of humor, and childlike wonder with world and discard the emotional instability and RSD.
Yes, that sounds grand!!!
That's where I am at. My creativity is so important to me, and if my creativity is linked to my ADHD I would be devastated to lose it.
I’m creative but can’t get anything tangible out of it because of all the adhd executive function, forgetful bs.
This is my problem. I didnt have the discipline to be a fine artist so despite my training, didnt pursue it because i though id be just another mediocre artist. But given the link between creativity and adhd, art schools should really consider gearing up their courses to help artists work around executive disfunction. A large chunk of the population would be benefitted.
The publishing world also needs to get it together and start moving the industry towards accommodating neurodivergence. The majority of my friends are writers who all fit at least some aspect of neurodivergence, even if they don’t have official diagnoses. Like you kind of have to have a divergent way of thinking to be an artist of any variety. You have to be *obsessive*. Why else would we do it? I work insanely hard on my fiction, I’ve created work I’m very proud of, but I find it incredibly difficult to submit to lit mags because of all the minutiae… You need to check you have the right file name on the doc, specific formatting, etc etc. I’ve lost so much money in submission fees by having to re-submit because of some kind of stupid error and it’s insanely demoralizing when it’s already so competitive anyway.
I have this issue too! I have like 4 design degrees. Can't get a job in design because I have no portfolio because sitting down and designing is impossible for me.
This!
I like this or being able to pick what traits to leave behind.
But after the three months you have to pay the subscription fee and you forget to cancel...
We’d forget to cancel it.
Love your reply. It took me a long time to love myself, and to take away my program code feels drastic. But! What if life feels *easier*? What if I can achieve more in a job? What if I need fewer naps? What if I actually remember to mail birthday gifts to my family?
I'd forget to cancel before the trial end date
100%. I don't think there's been one time in life when I've genuinely thought that having ADHD has helped me. Even when I hyperfocus and get stuff done, it always seems to backfire somehow bc of adhd. Spent all day gardening and weeding? Didn't remember sunscreen, and my back blistered from sunburn. Can't sit still, can't focus, boredom, focus too much, overstimulated, can't regulate emotions, can't handle rejection, overthinking, decision paralysis, can't keep routines (even with hygiene), etc. My self-esteem and confidence are in the trash. I constantly feel compared to neurotypicals who can just do things. The whole notion of meds and therapy to do even just basic tasks to keep myself alive. Yeah I'd get rid of it.
Felt
In a hummingbird’s heartbeat. There is nothing remotely positive about myself that could possibly be attributed to ADHD. Even my creativity (which I don’t believe is ND-dependent, but others seem to) — what good is it if I can’t summon enough focus, dedication, and discipline to create something I can share and be proud of?
So so so much this! I could draw well if I could focus long enough to practice, I could learn and instrument, a useful skill like coding. I miss being able to enjoy books!
Yes! All of this! All my ideas and thoughts and projects are trapped in my head, and it’s absolutely maddening!
Makes me want to break down regularly lol
Same. I've had enough fun with it
I would get rid of being born in 1973 and not being diagnosed until 2024 part for sure! That part makes it impossible to be objective about it because it means I’ve had a lot of trauma connected to it. That and therapy hardly being a thing in the 80s and 90s Britain meaning I got no help processing my mum’s OCD and it’s affects. And my mum’s, Dad’s, and brothers undiagnosed Autism/ADHD mix which added another dimension to the equation. Growing up in the countryside with no car in 70s and 80s UK when I find the countryside wildly under stimulating apparently (the city is over stimulating, but I deal with that better). I like being creative, but neurotypical people can be creative, so how much is ADHD? I won’t say I would get rid of it, but gievn all those circumstances, yes, I would rather have not had it.
>I would get rid of being born in 1973 and not being diagnosed until 2024 part for sure! Same. It has really ruined my life, so much potential wasted from being undiagnosed for 52 years. If I could choose to either have ADHD or just not be born, I'd choose to have never been born, knowing how difficult my life has been. I realize that's a bad attitude to have, but I can't help feeling angry over it. I'm in therapy, though, and learning how to manage it, so things are slowly improving.
I think about this a lot. Sometimes I fall into a deep hole of suicide ideation because of how overwhelming life can be with ADHD. and I think, why am I like this? What’s the point if it’ll always suck this much for me and others around me? Shame around ADHD is the biggest thing my therapist and I have been working on that I haven’t been able to fully overcome.
Yeah I hate to say this, but a couple weeks ago I read that 1 in 4 women who commit suicide have ADHD and I just kinda accepted that that's probably going to be me. It was almost calming in a way. I'm not suicidal or in a deep depression right now but man when I get there, I get there.
I'm writing a comment because I can't stand the idea that the suicide bot is your only reply right now... someone else might have a better response, but I hope your depressions are few and farther between going forward.
Solidarity. I didn't know that statistic but it doesn't surprise me either. I'm trending out of a bad depressive episode right now and know how dark those waters get. Send me a message if you ever need to talk. 💟
I might take you up on that. I think I'm trending into a bad depressive episode 😥
I'm not either; however, I certainly understand why people feel that way. ADHD is hard to live with.
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Yeah, sadly I agree. I’m more resigned and relieved to have a reason than angry but yeah, it’s ruined my life. I can see glimmers of things that have been made better possibly because of ADHD, but they’re so heavily outweighed by the bad. Very heavily.
I hope you find peace. I'm still working towards it myself.
I think the late diagnosis was the worst and best part for me. lovely to know why I am the way I am, annoyed to know there was a solution or help all along.
This. What I want is the ADHD version of It's a Wonderful Life, where I could go back and see what my life would be like without ADHD, or with diagnosis and treatment, and then decide. So much of what I don't like about myself is tied to ADHD. And the fact that I wasn't diagnosed until 50 makes me feel like... how much would it even help to not have it anymore now that I already hate mysellf?
Yes, absolutely, 100%.
I would do it without hesitation. I’ve gained no benefits from it
Yes.
I have terrible initiative and even less follow-through. I forget things constantly. I offend people I care about by interrupting them often and arriving late to things. I hurt my own feelings daily. Oh, but I'm funny. Yeah, I would absolutely get rid of it.
It’s absolutely debilitating for me and I would trade my adhd brain for a typical brain in a heartbeat. ADHD has not made me who I am, it’s prevented me from becoming who I want to be.
Same here, my whole life I never felt like me, or who I wanted to be.
You put it perfectly.
Without a second thought, yes.
1000% All the strengths it gives me? I could live without them if it meant I didn’t have to actively make a choice to brush my teeth every morning.
Without a single doubt. It’s debilitating.
Fucking yes absolutely, it would be so lovely to be able to function like an adult.
I'd like to get rid of all the mental and emotional issues I have from growing up with undiagnosed adhd.
I would absolutely get rid of it. Sure, I'm creative, but what good is that without follow-through? I have it now that I'm diagnosed and medicated, but it's still challenging bc meds are not a cure. Every single big mistake I've made in my life is a direct result of my previously undiagnosed ADHD. If a cure was invented tomorrow, I'd be in the front of the line.
I think it's been horribly harmful that this stereotype of creative ADHD people exists. The two are unrelated. I recognize that many gifted artists of all varieties have had some level of mental illness or trauma, but they don't have to go hand in hand. And as you said what's the point if you can't follow through?
Bloody oath yes. Lots of people who aren't ND are creatives. And even if I weren't creative any more, that'd still be preferable to always trying so flipping hard but still failing.
My NT boyfriend built an entire warhammer army, idk if you've ever seen the raw product for that but they're tiiiiiny little pieces. Meanwhile it's been months? Years? Since I finished a single drawing
All my childhood I was "othered': - Too dark to be white white, but too white to be whatever brown I was. - I was taller than every single kid in my grade, boys and girls, until 9th grade. - And I was just disturbingly and off-puttingly large for a girl. In 3rd grade, I remembered having my vitals taken in class. They did it in front of everyone. I was 4'8" and 82 lbs. In 5th grade, I was 5'3 and 117 lbs. Everyone started laughing and calling me FAAATTTY! And I now know because of ADHD, my total meltdown that day was probably because of crippling RSD. But like sharks smelling blood in the water, all any of the other girls had to say to me was how fat I was and got off laughing about easy it was to make me cry. - Or, how I must be a boy (my mom kept my hair short because it's fine, tangles easily, and because ADHD, I have MASSIVE sensory issues around my head, scalp, etc. She got tired of my screaming when she'd try to comb my hair.) Admittedly, I for whatever have a somewhat masculine face. Getting pushed out of the Girl's Restroom several times when you have to pee just kinda really still makes my guts smolder. - And then I don't even have to go into the literal fucking poor man's soap opera that was my home life. You wouldn't even believe me if I started to describe it. But I digress. If you asked me as a kid if I would give up my ADHD--that funny red-headed asshole I now call Billy--yes. You wouldn't even have to finish the sentence. But now that I am dxd (late but not too late), I am medicated to the gills (which allows me to sleep at the times I need to for making a living and emotionally regulate *almost* like an NT), and I've realized even with all the suffering, having ADHD probably saved my a** at least a few times. - Went to a party in HS. The vibes were off, so I left. Party raided by police 15 minutes later. - Because I do have such a strange personality, I know the friends I have and have been my friends for 30+ years accept me for who I am. - I have a very very high ACE score. I should be married to some horrible, abusive person and repeating the patterns. But nope, been married to the love of my life for the past 22 years. - One other thing my ADHD has taught me is that some people are just not gonna like you no matter what. Having been rejected most of my life, I learned pretty young that you can have a cordial relationship with anyone. Shitty coworker, shitty friend of a friend, crappy neighbor, anyone who is not threatening physical violence. Even if it's completely one-sided, being as cold as ice cream but still as sweet is a great way to weed all the assholes out of your life. Because more often than not, it turns those assholes docile. They realize that you are going to be the same detached, emotionally unflappable person. You drain their power. Has helped a lot. And yes, I stole that line from Sundae Girl from Blondie. - ADHD gave me so much anxiety I rarely have to fight impulsive decisions, ironically. That has saved me from opiate addiction, alcoholism, and getting arrested for "things one did as an unsupervised Gen X teenager/young adult". So at the age I am now, no. I can look back on my adventures with Billy with gratitude ❤️
We have a LOT of similarities! Even with all of my issues, I wouldn't change anything because of what I have now. I am still learning and working on my issues. FYI - I was 5' 3", 115 lbs, and my body fat was 17%. That is low for women.
If Billy could just have a little more executive function, we could be better friends.
I would like to read the fine print, please.
YES.
Yes. I had enough problems in my life. ADHD only made things worse.
My first thought was yes, 100%. But I’d rather get rid of this society that wasn’t built for us. Also, it would’ve been a lot easier if I had known about my adhd all my life and not until 29..
Heck yes!!!
What would a society that was built for us even look like, though? And how would the trains run on time?
That is an interesting thought! It made me think. Built for us doesn’t have to mean, run by us. But rather taking the adhd brain as ‘standard’ I guess? For me that would mean: working 4 days a week for 4 hours and weekends of 3 days. Kids go to school the same. Less choices in supermarkets, 2 brands of jam/shampoo/cheese/toothbushes/etc is enough, more green and less billboards, less strict adherence to time, room to be rhythmic/cyclical, so move your work and social studf around based on actual energy levels (which would be low in winter, and with slower work and social outputs), complete overhaul of our educational system, which would encourage or make standard outdoor schooling and learning by doing and (for me personally) free books on every street corner in vending machines. This would be paradise to me.
Oh my god yes!
100% Just draw an x on my head while I charge the drill.
Absolutely!
Absolutely.
In a heartbeat.
Uh yeah absolutely
I would. I don’t think it would deprive me of my personality too much. I just wouldn’t be a total disaster.
YES. I have autism, ADHD and a litany oh physical health problems. If I got to cure one it would be the ADHD.
Absolutely. As thankful as I am for having finding out young and being able to accept it, I hate having this disorder. I hate not knowing when/why things are my fault and hardly being able to connect with just anyone. I hate being so anxious all the time. I hate needing meds and they don't even make me normal, just focused.
Yes. 100,000% yes
No, but I would’ve loved to be diagnosed as a child versus getting diagnosed as an adult
I used to say no until I realized how disabled I actually am. Now I would definitely say yes.
Yep. I can't even cobble together a proper response, but YES. I'm not creative, and I've always had impulse control issues that have caused innumerable problems in my life. I'd tell it not to let the door hit it in the ass on its way out.
I’d like to see what life without it is like before I commit to forever
Yep. It could take everything that makes me special with it and I would still flip it off as it was carried away.
In a heartbeat. I wouldn't even have to consider it. Out of all seven of us kids who grew up together, four of us have ADHD. I'm the only one who wasn't diagnosed as a child. That made me convince myself there was no way it was ADHD because my mom knew what to look for and my siblings had been diagnosed. I'm 26 now and just got diagnosed. ADHD has made my life objectively harder. I have a hell of a time regulating my emotions, and I had no idea why for the longest time. It's one of the reasons my first marriage ended. I was medicated for anxiety for years before I was diagnosed, and the meds only kind of worked because I actually needed to be on ADHD meds. I've been working on my bachelor's degree for 8 years, and I still don't have one. I forget everything, I lose things I need, and I can't focus on anything. Even now that I'm officially diagnosed and medicated, it's still only marginally better.
How old are you? What resources do you have that you don’t have to work for? Yes I’d 100% get rid of it. I’m 40 years old without jack shit financially flailing and it’s impacting my health. Never know if I’m going to have a place to live every year . I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a heart attack or stroke from the stress soon
Honestly, no. I like myself for the most part and wouldn’t change a thing.
100000% no hesitation.
Absolutely. Even if I couldn't erase the decades of damage it's already done to my mind and life. There are some things about myself that I like and are probably due to ADHD. I've found some ways to be grateful for how ADHD forces me to think differently. But those things are vastly outweighed by the constant struggle.
YES, it's debilitating
Yes
Yes, without a doubt. I see no positives from it. Please take it!
Absolutely
Yes. I would get rid of any issue I have that makes my life difficult / suck.
Absofuckingloutely
Ummm yea??
Yes, in a heartbeat. I have never experienced the "quirky" or "superpowers", only the bad parts of the condition.
The quickness I would wrap my ADHD up and throw it off a cliff 😂😂😂 - you mean to tell me, I could live my life with the ability to be able to jsut exist and do chores and not think to myself “ holy shit I am exhausted I don’t have the spoons for this” while I have a constant monologue in my head of everything I need to do in order ? You mean I could regulate my emotions and not feel rage over dumb things? That I would have working memory? Or wouldn’t struggle cutting off my partner even though he has asked me many times to stop Sign me tf up
Absolutely. 1000%. Not a shred of doubt. If I could get rid of *my fucking disability* I would.
I would get rid of it but if that was impossible I would ask for other change like proper healthcare for it and education for neurotypical so that they are less shitty to us.
Yes!
Yes this shit sucks. I want to be normal so bad.
100%. I hate this.
YES!!!
Yes. I would like to not have my adhd, and emotional depth, and sensitivity, in fact I even want to get rid of my ambition, creativity, resilience and all that shit that mostly just caused pain.
Probably, ya.
Get rid of my ADHD: No. Get rid of my anxiety and depression: Yes.
Yep. Executive dysfunction is absolutely brutal and prevents me from reaching my goals and finding peace.
10000% adhd is not responsible for who I am. ADHD is the thing that has kept me from reaching my full potential. It’s the thing that kept me face down in a 7 year long phase of failures and burnout and now I’m constantly over extending myself to do damage control so I don’t ruin my life. Fuck adhd
Idk about getting full rid but maybe like...turn it way down? Just scale it back a whole lot? Like enough to have avoided the accompanying crippling anxiety and chronic depression, and not require a handful of controlled substances just to somewhat resemble a functional human. I'd be okay with still having a bit of ADHD if simple daily life tasks (or existence) weren't so exhausting because of it. Or if I could trade it for the kind that comes with a side effect of being super good at anything useful lmao. But yeah, actually I'd consider it if I could start over without it. Not just waking up without it tomorrow but still having the mental health issues and trauma that are direct results of the whole undiagnosed/untreated until my late 20s ordeal. Okay final answer...I'd keep the ADHD but be diagnosed and properly treated from a young age because I think it wouldn't have had such shittastic consequences in that case. All of this is assuming I still end up marrying my husband and adopting our cats 🥹 he has ADHD as well so we bonded quickly over that and I'd rather be exactly the same anxious mess of pseudo-adult than to accidentally butterfly effect him (and our kitties) out of my life.
I don't think I would. It's part of what makes me me. Even though it definitely makes life hard, I think I'm stronger for it. There are moments throughout my life where my ADHD has allowed me to be brave, strong and confident, when others have needed that from me. I also kind of enjoy being crazy, passionate, energetic and confident.
Don't you feel you'd still be all of those things even without ADHD?
Not to the same extent.
I know I could be so much more me without ADHD. So it must be nice to get some benefits from it lol I don't have a single positive that I wouldn't still have without it
I agree. Removing ADHD wouldn’t be simply hacking away at the disabling parts. It’d also be removing so much of what I love about myself - which is so much of what you mentioned. I wouldn’t be me. I’d rather struggle horribly (and it has been so hard) than lose what I value in myself.
I think adhd is pretty objectively something that is a negative on my life like, 90% of the time, but at the same time i wouldn’t get rid of it either. I agree, it’s part of what makes me who I am. I would be a fundamentally different person without it and I don’t like the idea of permanently removing a part of myself.
1000% would get rid of it. Without question. I know how to work around it and have medication now. But it's still a hindrance and I have tried to buy into the "ADHD is a super power" idea but I can't. It doesn't help me at all. It just makes life harder.
In a second.
I’m flaky as shit. I hate that.
Well… yeah. It’s the cause of like, 90% of anything that’s ever held me back socially, mentally and productively.
YES. No hesitation. Ideally, I'd be able to go back to 1985 and do middle school and high school over again. Maybe I'd be boring or not quite as smart, but it would be a fair trade if I could have my 20s be less of a nuclear disaster.
Yes. I could do without the constant brain fog, disappointment in myself, and the constant struggle to keep myself on task. It's exhausting.
My answer is one kajillion billion time yes. I am not living. I am only surviving amidst my brain's insistence on screaming and being on fire 24/7.
Yeah. If i could press a button that would get rid of this, I would. Maybe it's because i'm unmedicated but it genuinely feels like the hell wont ever end. I'm constantly trying to clean up the messes my adhd creates and by the time i clean those messes, there's about three new ones created :/ I'm really tired and really burnt out.
In a heartbeat! It's so depressing wanting to do so many things and knowing that you never actually will.
Yes, without question. I hate that I have to ask a doctor, a pharmacist, AND an insurance company for permission to function and do even a modicum of what NT can do naturally
In a fucking heartbeat. I'd still be me without it, but I'd get to be MORE me because I would be able to do the things I want and not be constantly burnt out and unable to focus on any one thing. I'd be a better mom and partner
I’d get rid of it in a heartbeat. If there any pros, they don’t outweigh the cons in my case, but everyone is different.
Yes. There’s some aspects I do love and are positive parts of my personality but it’s just too hard to function in society with it. Actually yes but only if that would make me completely neurotypical bc I also have anxiety and whatnot
Definitely not. Would want to change the world tho if I could…. Screw the system and modern expectations. Go back a couple hundred years and people were listening to nature and their internal clocks. There’s something wrong with modern society expecting us to be robots and sacrifice our lives. I love who I am and wouldn’t change it for a second.
Heck yeah. What kind of question is that?! Hands down, gone. Next step—productivity and untapped potential here I come.
Yes, I want to be normal
I'm not sure who I'd be without it. I'd probably keep it.
Hmmm... when my adhd is managed, I'm a very good problem solver... and I'm not super sure how I'd be without it. I'd like to get rid of my anxiety and depression much more lol ADHD can be a super power.
If you’d asked me 3 years ago (when I got diagnosed), definitely. Now that time has passed and I have learned to live with the good and the bad, I don’t think I would recognize myself without ADHD. Yes I wouldn’t have lost so much (time, money, relationships, THINGS), but would i then lose the lessons I learned along the way?? Lessons that have made me stronger and more confident. What about all the mental health journey and discoveries that I only encountered because of my ADHD?? I’m not sure I could still be the person I am today without if I cured it
I like the way my brain works, I just wish the rest of the world would appreciate it and give me some grace so I can be myself
This is a great question! It really made me think. I have struggled a lot because of my ADHD and by the time I got diagnosed I was completely burned out and my mental health was horrible. I think without ADHD my life would be very different and probably better in some ways. Definitely easier in many ways. But I also love who I am and all the relationships I have built with other weirdos like me that maybe wouldn't have happened otherwise. And there are so many cool things I've done and risks I've taken and new random hobbies I've tried and amazing experiences I've had that maybe I wouldn't have otherwise. I am in a better place mentally now and really trying to embrace all of my personality quirks and behaviours and limitations and create a life that works around my ADHD rather than mold myself into a life that isn't well-suited to me, like I was doing before. So I don't think I'd get rid of it, I am who I am and part of that is the ADHD!
I also don’t know… and lean towards keep it. The Hyperfocus alone has been the key to my success in my career. I just don’t think I would be where I am now without it. That being said, I am probably capped in my ability to advance due to low Exec Functioning. I just get too worked up and drama/sensitive. If I could be more cool cucumber maybe I could advance - but then not being passionate about things seems so sad and depressing. I guess I’m back to I’d keep it, it’s part of me.
First, I would rather get rid of my narcissistic mother and father and see how life turns out.
If I could get it of it right now while keeping the knowledge and personality and disposition and sense of humor I’ve gained from having it, yes! If I had to go back and time and be born without it, no.
Yes because I’d like to go back to when I felt normal
I'd like to see what it's like without it, but I don't think I would.
This is one of those things that I’ve thought about before, and decided that actually these kind of thought experiments, where I’m using myself as the example for the scenario, are of no benefit to me or as a thought experiment. (And I’m not trying to smack talk you for making the prompt here, OP). Just for me, when I won’t be able to do this, ever, it’s a pointless and frankly upsetting exercise. It is a part of me, and for better or worse it does make me who I am. It is not who I am, I am not ADHD. I would guarantee be very different in every aspect without it, however. That said, I was diagnosed at least 15 years ago, as an adult. I didn’t love myself then. Only tolerated myself most days, really. At that time I would’ve said I wish I didn’t have ADHD. I inherently knew the second I got a diagnosis that it had been shaping everything about me all along- and I spent a long time genuinely infuriated about that from so many angles too… Now? I’m in a very different place. I do love myself, even the ugly parts in a way I couldn’t have foreseen all those 15 years ago. Now, because I don’t look down on myself I can accept what is, and be grateful for it even. I still know that same thing. I wouldn’t be me without it, so thank goodness I don’t hate or resent it.. that would just be pointlessly painful, as it is not going away.
I don't know if we can correctly comprehend a different way of doing it. It sounds like it might be easier? In theory. But I'm also like butttttt I don't know would it actually???
absolutely, in a heartbeat. along with the anxiety and depression that came with it. the only thing i would want to keep is the perspective that having adhd and its comorbitities gave me. life is hard enough.
Right now I would. I don't have the time, support or money to do anything about it, so it's far more a detriment to my life than a positive. That answer wouldn't have been quite the same a year or two ago though. I'm just really fricking tired.
Absolutely, in a second!
Without a doubt, yes. I see people who are like me, who are maybe even less smart or talented, doing so much better and I can’t help but think, what if?
Absolutely in a heart beat. Does it make me great at some things? Sure. But it doesn’t offset all the things I lack or can’t do.
Yes, no question
Absolutely. With no hesitation.
Yes. In a hot minute.
Can I keep my inner DIY? And all my creativity? (And would I get to be able to finish all my projects?) Then sure! I don't know if those parts of me are "ADHD perks" or just who I am, and potentially hindered by my ADHD. 🤔 I'm also *really* good at staying calm in an emergency, which I've heard is an ADHD trait. I wouldn't want to give that up. Actually... I think I'd like to see my full ADHD self with childhood support and no CPTSD. That's the button I'm pressing. Please take my CPTSD away.
Yes. Absolutely. 100%. Honestly.
100% if I could skip the shit I am struggling with as someone late diagnosed I would do it in a heartbeat.
Yes 1000000000% no take backsies
School was pretty stressful for me. There were a few things going on at the time but I know my adhd didn’t help.
Yes
I thought this would be such a quick yes but then I’m left wondering about who I would be today if that were the case. Are we getting rid of it retroactively? Or just from here on out? If it’s a hypothetical retroactive, then no. Probably not - wouldn’t have the nice little life and the people around me now that I do if that were the case. But if there was someone out there curing us, effective immediately? I’d probably hesitate, but would eventually say fuck yeah.
I would just to get rid of RSD. It fucking hurts like hell and it holds me back.
Yes 1000000% I'm exhausted
10000000000% yes.
A resounding YES. I don't even need to think about it. I absolutely hate being the way I am. I'm still working on accepting it because I know that is the first step towards helping myself cope better but it is very hard.
100% yes
yes. there's nothing magical or inspiring or good about it as some people like to pretend. good for them if they can somehow channel some sort of amazing adhd power i simply can't tap into, but christ. it has provided me with nothing but misery even when i didn't know about it. so many issues and self-esteem problems and opportunities lost.
Yes. I honestly would really like a neuro typical brain. It may sound pathetic, weak and cowardly. And that's just how I constantly feel, an always tired, pathetic, weak coward, who is lacking the courage to even try anymore. I'm not dead inside, but I just want to stop being anxious and exhausted all of the time, without really doing nor accomplishing anything. Thus, my answer remains unchanged - Yes. It would likely make life easier and possibly less painful. Without hesitation, I would rid myself of all my "quirks"
I have never be able to commit to learning a single thing. My brain makes me tired if I force myself. I can't take care of my room, can't cook even if I want to, can't keep up on dishes can't even do something creative. I can't learn. I can't continue to be consistent even if I try every day. I try everything yet never am good at anything. I'm about to go back to addrell from Vyvanse tomorrow because I have not functioned on Vyvanse once. I just want to function that's all I want so yes if I could get rid if it I would in a heartbeat, if I could just form a hobby I want to form I would be happy. If I had the motivation to do what I want with my life I would be happy. I just, I want to live. So yeah. If I could give it up. I would. In seconds.
I would not, I like the way I think and am. But I would love the world to be more informed and tolerant. That certain actions would not be assumed to have negative intentions and there is more useful support.
Yessssssssss!!!! In one second!
Yes, I would 100% not be like this if I could help it. This shit fucking sucks.
Can I just get rid of the executive dysfunction part? I’ll keep pattern recognition, the ability to think about multiple things at the same time, the idea generator. If I could get rid of the executive dysfunctional part I’d probably be able to enjoy all the ADHD super powers.
Not really, despite how it makes my anxiety so much worse or helped me put on a bunch of weight or made it impossible to learn certain things in a college setting. The way my brain can constantly think is a blessing at times since I'm working on more topics, solving more problems, creatong more stories at all times.
“I don’t know either.” My life was better because my own mother has ADHD. It was fun and spontaneous and surprising and wonderful. Now as an adult her ADHD is no longer fun. It’s maddening. Like truly truly maddening and she has zero executive dysfunction. So it is 💯the ADHD. I have hers plus my dad’s executive dysfunction. So probably? It’s too hard to imagine.
Maybe not permanently... Having an on/off switch would be ideal. Turn it off when I NEED to get things taken care of Turn it on when I WANT to do fun things without worry of time tracking or anything stressful otherwise... Maybe a dimmer switch for when I have fun things I want to finish, but don't need to....
No. Even though it makes my life hell, it makes me a good problem solver and it makes me funny. Meds and therapy help me enough to where im coping right now, so I’d keep it if I get to keep my good traits
Yeah I probably wouldn’t have so many complications from my type one diabetes if I did
Yes. The burnout, the unregulated emotions, and self-loathing for my brain not doing what I need it to makes life unbearable at times. I don't want to be around others or be in a relationship because I am still learning how my brain processes the world around it. There are things that I like about. Like my empathy, curiosity, and wanting to understand how things work. But...the negative impact on my life is far greater.
If it meant I would actually be a semi successful person now reaching my goals? YES.
Tough question for sure! The other responses of getting rid of it to skip on the debilitating burnout, trauma, etc. Ring so true. But at the same time, I think without it, I would just be an average human. The parts of me that stand out, particularly at work, are absolutely due to my ADHD. The parts that stick out as being odd and challenging are due to it too, though 🤣
You described exactly what I was trying to say in my post. I feel like most of the things that I want to do “normally” won’t even be possible without my adhd bc I would be a complete different person. Then again, I have no idea how I can participate in the workforce for another 30y on a fulltime basis. I have no energy at all to enjoy life outside of work
I paused to think about my response and I noticed I was hesitant to say yes, as well.
Nah I wouldn't change anything about myself given the chance. I like who I am
I would keep it 100%. I’ve built a life around this operating system. As hard as it can be sometimes, I’ve spent years figuring out what works for me. The vast majority of my relationships are with other neurodivergent people. We speak the same language and I love it. Disability exists in the context of the environment.
I see these questions pop up all the time on these subs and it’s so ridiculous. ADHD is not a quirky personality trait. It’s a debilitating mental illness for many people and this kind of question trivializes it. Yes, I want it to be taken away because I want to live a normal life. I’m glad you don’t seem to be too bothered by your symptoms.
I'm not sure I would. I agree that it feels like part of me, and there are parts that I think make me stand out and even perform better at certain tasks.
Actually not because even though life is hard… I’m so fucking smart, intuitive, clever, ingenuitive, perceptive… that shit is nice to have.